All language subtitles for Designing.Women.1993.S01E20.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.H264.AAC-PTerWEB_track3_[eng]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, I just
love this movie.

They're showing
Dog Day Afternoon on TV this week.

I remember
I'd cried so hard.

Al Pacino robs a bank

to pay for his boyfriend's
sex-change operation.

You know, what I don't
understand is how come you always hear about

men changing
into women,

but you hardly ever
hear about women changing into men.

My guess is it would be
too hard to find a donor.

Okay, I finished
another one.

Now, tell me,
what do you think?

I think they all look
like a police composite

of prostitutes.

Oh, Julia, you're just
jealous because you don't draw or paint.

And neither do you.

Vlasco says that
I have a unique quality

unlike anything
he's ever seen before.

Suzanne,
Vlasco is a gigolo from Madrid

who sits by
Sissy's pool all day

sipping margaritas.

I'm sick to death
of hearing about the Tates.

It's Sissy this,
and Shelby that.

Now you're
taking art lessons,

Charlene is
on the phone with her

half the day, and Mary Jo
seems to have taken up permanent residence.

You know the one
who's acting the best?

Anthony.

Here is somebody
just recently out of prison

with very little money

who could easily be
seduced by the Tate's wealth,

but is he? No.

Anthony goes out there,
delivers the furniture,

does his job,
and gets out.

You don't see him
acting all gaga.

How y'all doing?

I know you're thinking,

there's something different
about Anthony today,

but I just can't quite
put my finger on it.

Anthony, did you
take that armoire out to the Tates?

I certainly did.

[CLICKS TONGUE]
Isn't that Shelby Tate's hat?

It certainly is.

He says to me
this morning,

"Ah, tell me, Anthony.

Do you like watermelon?"

And so I'm thinking,

this is not
a good question.

I mean, I'm talking to a guy

who's got
four lawn jockeys on his front porch,

and he's asking me
if I like watermelon.

Then suddenly,

I see a truckload
of watermelon in my future.

So, I say,
"Ah, no, Mr. Tate,

I don't much care
for watermelon,

but I could use
a new pair of tap shoes."

Well, that cracks him up.

So, he takes his hat
right off his head

and puts it on mine.
[CHUCKLES]

The dude has
got a big head, too.

I'll probably shellac it
and use it as a waste can.

Well, good morning to you.

Morning.

Is it my imagination,

or didn't you have those
same clothes on yesterday?

[CLICKS TONGUE] I spent
the night at Sissy and Shelby's houseboat.

I can't believe you stayed out
all night with clients.

Neither can I.

I think I just
put my babysitter through college.

What were y'all doing?

Well, you see,

Sissy and Shelby
want this special color

in their master bedroom,
but there's only one place to find it.

They call it...
Sweet Tate "R" Green. [CHUCKLES]

They drove you all out
of that lake just to look at a life preserver?

Oh, no, no, no.

We flew, in the helicopter.

Then they flew up
30 or 40 more of their friends

and a country-western band

and a complete
Cajun food buffet.

I mean, you should've seen

that pile of tails and claws.

It looked like
some huge biology exam with cloth napkins.

Well, you know,
I've always felt it was a bunch of bunk

that rich people
weren't happy.

I mean, that's
just something poor people made up

so they wouldn't
feel so bad.

Truth is, the rich
are having a very good time.

Now, may I remind
the three of you

before you get
any more stars in your eyes

that this is exactly
what's happened to all the decorators

who have worked
with the Tates?

They get drawn
into their lives.

They start
going to parties, accepting gifts,

carousing all night.

And then, they either
get fired or quit, whichever comes first.

I wasn't carousing.

At one point
I... did have a party hat on,

but somebody
put it on my head.

First, it's Cajun food
and country-western music.

and then, before you know it,

they've taken you over,
body and soul.

Honestly, Julia,

I don't see why someone
can't enjoy the party

without you making it
sound like there's some giant pod from space

growing in their basement.

That's exactly
what I was thinking. [CHUCKLES]

Anthony, I think the van
is ready for a reload.

Right. I'm on my way.

Hey. Do you know
somebody actually

came up to me
last night

and offered me $5,000

to redecorate
their daughter's dollhouse?

Can you imagine?

Oh, I'd love for us
to take a job like that.

My favorite thing
in the whole world

is the house of miniatures
at Knott's Berry Farm.

They have these...
these two fleas

dressed up like
a bride and groom.

And then, in their
little flea house, they have

a little flea table
and chairs,

little flea bed,
little flea teacups, flea silverware...

Please, Charlene.
We get the picture.

[GASPS]
Mary Jo, Mary Jo, did Sissy tell you?

She's gonna give us all
an introductory session

with her psychic.

It's the same one
that Pia Zadora uses

and the first one
to predict that she would get out of films.

Charlene, I think that
Julia's heard enough about Sissy,

for one day.

Oh, all right.
Oh, just one more thing.

Sissy also has
these peasant women in Scandinavia

who'll actually
grow hair for you.

Charlene!
Okay, okay.

Here.

And here's my receipt.

What was that?

Oh, it's... [CHUCKLES]
It's nothing.

It's a little... Bracelet
Sissy gave me. [CHUCKLES] [GASPS]

I didn't want
to take it, but she insisted,

'cause I got the toilet
on the houseboat unstopped.

I don't know.

It's just this
incredible knack I've always had with plungers.

Wait just a minute.

Are you saying
that you accepted a diamond bracelet

from her?

[CLEARS THROAT]
Julia, I didn't accept anything.

She just took it
off her wrist and put it on mine.

I mean... I didn't
mean to keep it.

I... I just forgot
to return it. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

I don't even know
if it's genuine.

Oh, it's genuine,
all right.

I took that
scarab ring she gave me

and had it appraised.

No, you should've asked me.
I could've told you.

I always keep
a jeweler's loupe handy.

'cause you never know
when some unexpected person is gonna force jewelry on you.

Oh, yeah.
Uh-huh.

That's the genuine
thing, all right.

Nice haul.

It's not a haul.
I'm not keeping it.

Well, I should
certainly hope not.

Julia, if you think
you can do better

handling the Tates than me,

just... have at it.

Well, all right.
I will.

Fine. More power to you.

As long as you're going,
you can return the bracelet for me.

Along with
the matching earrings.

Back so soon.
How did it go?

Couldn't have
gone better.

I simply explained
to Sissy and Shelby

that we want
to do the best possible job for 'em.

And in order to do that,
we have to maintain

a certain
professional distance.

And they
agreed with that?

Well, of course.

They didn't have
any choice.

When I admired
their stables,

they wanted
to give me a horse.

I turned them down.

And when
I refused that,

They insisted on taking me
to New Orleans for dinner.

I just said flat-out
said no to everything.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Oh, I'll get it.

You see,
there's a way of being kind

but nevertheless firm
letting people know who's in charge.

Julia, your horse is here.

I don't know, Sissy.

And I really think you
outta talk to somebody about this.

You know,
the fact that you keep

drawing the same face
over and over.

You know, now that I look at it,

it's Bambi.

You're drawing Bambi.

Bambi with bangs,
Bambi with a bun,

Bambi with burrets.
But it's definitely Bambi.

That is not Bambi.

I'm much deeper than that.

And I would appreciate it
if you wouldn't go around saying that

when Sissy has my exhibit.

Okay, okay. I'm sorry.

I for one like Bambi.

I've just never
seen him in full makeup.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Sugarbakers'.

Oh, hi, Sissy.

No, Julia's
not down yet.

You know, she lives upstairs.
She's usually down by 9:00.

She...

She went to Miami
with Shelby?

Well...

No, Sissy, I'm sure
they had a very good reason.

They wanted
to eat stone crabs.

No, Sissy, there has to be
more to it than that.

I don't think
Julia would fly a thousand miles

just to get
a plastic bib that says,

"I made a pig of myself
at Stoneseifer's."

Listen, I got to go.
I'll call you later.

Well...

Good morning.

Julia, where've you been?

I've just been out
for a little morning walk.

Look at her.
She's lying.

You can always tell,
because she keeps her head down like that.

We know where
you've been, Julia.

You were in Miami
with Shelby.

And I think
you owe us an explanation.

Well, all right.

I did go to Miami,
but I can assure you

it was strictly business.

We can see that.

I can't believe
I still have this on.

Fell asleep
on the plane.

And you got mad at me
for wearing a party hat?

Until now,
I didn't realize how busy Shelby is,

and when you're
running an empire, time is money.

I still fail to see
what this has to do

with your going
to Miami with Shelby.

It is very simple.

It's the only time
Shelby had

to look at the blueprints
for his dressing room.

A-ha. And just
how'd you get this bib?

Oh... I got that
because I ate more crabs

than three Allstate
Insurance salesmen

from Illinois who also
made it to the finals.

You know, Julia,
for somebody who thought

we were getting
too involved with the Tates,

it seems like
you're getting

awfully involved yourself.

Yeah, if you ask me,
I think Sissy's getting jealous.

Jealous?
Don't be ridiculous.

Sissy isn't
jealous of me.

Good morning, ladies.

Allow me to introduce myself.

Malcolm Box,
private investigator.

And you're
Julia Sugarbaker.

Yes, I am.
What may I do for you?

Well, I was just outside
admiring the Sugarbaker's exterior ambience,

and if you don't mind
my saying so,

you got a pretty
nice one yourself.

Get to the point.

I see my charm
has eluded you.

Would you be
kind enough to verify

that this is you
and Mr. Shelby Tate

getting on
his private jet to go to Miami?

Yes, well, I...
had just tripped on the stairs,

and he was trying
to help me up.

May I ask what
is all this about?

Well, you see,
I work for Mrs. Tate,

and my job is
to follow Mr. Tate.

You know, it's not easy,
because as you know

he's got his own private jet,
And I got to go commercial.

What I don't understand is

why do you follow Mr. Tate?

Because Mrs. Tate
wants to know

if he's having any fun.

And if he does,
I write it down. I record it

just in case
she wants to use it

for any future
divorce proceedings.

Oh, no. This is terrible.
I've been counseling her.

[SIGHING] I...
I wouldn't worry about it.

They... they've been
going to get divorced for the past 16 years.

[CLEARS THROAT]

You know, I...
I didn't always look like this.

I used to have
other clients,

a wife, kids.

Then I got mixed up
with the Tates.

You know, he's been
down the Nile six times.

But that arctic expedition
that nearly killed me.

First my sled broke down,

then the dogs
turned on me.

Excuse me.
I have no intention

of signing anything.

And now, I'd appreciate it
if you'd take your dirty little briefcase

and your dirty little mind

and get out
of our nice, clean store.

MALCOLM: Okay,

but I can tell you
that, uh... [DOOR OPENS]

Mrs. Tate
doesn't look kindly

on people
who don't sign the verification.

And I don't look
kindly on people

who have me followed.

I can make it
worth your while.

I have a better idea.
Why don't you take that

and buy yourself
a new trench coat?

Well, if you think
I look bad,

you ought to see the guy
who's following Mrs. Tate.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Not now.
You'll have to call back.

Well, so much for Sissy
not being jealous.

Suzanne, don't
start with me.

I hardly think
that I should be blamed

because Sissy has
an overactive imagination

and the bank account
to finance it.

Well, maybe not,
but none of the rest of us

went off
with her husband for the night.

You just went to
all the parties

and let the gifts roll in
by the truckload.

Excuse me,

but I let you return
my diamond bracelet.

We, on the other hand,
Have no proof

that you returned your horse.

Well, of course, I did.

You know good and well
that Anthony took him back out there.

Did you get
a receipt?

I especially,
would not be eager

to hear a lecture
on gift giving

from the queen
of sucking up to the rich.

And just
what exactly is that supposed to mean?

All right, let's be honest.

How many of those
has Sissy bought so far?

Eighteen.

But I don't consider
that a gift,

I consider that
an investment.

I think it's very
mean of you to suggest otherwise.

Well, you just
called me a horse thief. I did not.

Well, you asked
if she got a receipt.

Well, at least
I don't have a Rolex watch

in the bottom
of my drawer. [GASPS]

How'd you know that?

I was looking
for alimony checks.

Charlene,

I cannot believe
you kept a Rolex watch.

Well, I wasn't
keeping it.

I was holding it
in detention. Until when?

Till my conscience
got the better of me.

It was about
four days away.

And if I wanna talk, Mary Jo,
tour diamond bracelet's worth a lot more than my Rolex.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]
Oh, get lost!

This is for you, Suzanne,
I'm sick and tired of you

always going through
my drawers. You're always looking for those

blasted checks
From now on, you can keep 'em in your own desk.

I don't have a desk!
Well, maybe, Sissy will buy you one.

[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

Can I ask a question?

ALL: No!

Will you listen to us?

Arguing about
a bunch of stuff

that doesn't amount
to a hill of beans,

hanging up on customers,
ignoring potential clients

who are standing
in the middle of our store.

What is happening to us?

I'm sorry.

Me, too.
I'm sorry.

Me, too. Uh...

Here. I don't
need the watch.

I got Mickey.

Okay, I think it's time
we made a decision.

Are we going to be in
the Sissy-and-Shelby-Tate business,

or are we gonna
become the Sugarbakers we set out to be,

treating each
individual customer,

regardless of finances,

with the same care,
concern, and attention?

"B."
JULIA: What?

The answer's "B."

That's right.
I vote for "B."

Me, too. "B."

Well, then, I say
let's drive right out to the Tates',

right now and quit before
we change our minds.

ALL: All right.
[CHUCKLES]

We have this
wonderful person to thank...

Joan Q. Public.

How may we be
of service to you?

I just wanted
to use your bathroom.

JULIA: I guess
what we're saying is,

Sugarbakers' is still
a small firm,

and your need
is greater than our supply.

You deal
in his-and-her jets.

We deal
in his-and-her towels.

We have other clients
to serve. We can't

just fly off
to Kansas City or Miami

every time
you need to see a new fabric swatch.

And no amount
of Rolex watches

or diamond bracelets
Is going to change that.

So, what do you need,
more money?

You've given us
enough money.

We just feel that...

That we're in
way over our heads.

Maybe by infinity.

Oh, and, Sissy,
I want you to know

I really do appreciate
the watch and the perfume.

You're returning
the perfume too?

Oh, yeah. But it's got nothing
to do with this.

See, I just decided
last T.V. season

that if John Forsythe's
too stupid

to tell Linda Evans
from an imposter I can't wear his cologne.

Now I guess
I'll have to send back

the Mustang Convertible,
then too.

What, Mustang Convertible?

The one I ordered for you.
You said you were having trouble with your car.

Well, I was,
but it was...

What color?

Uh, Navy with a camel top.

Automatic?
Uh-huh.

I was just kidding.
Doesn't matter.

All of this is
your fault, Sissy.

If you hadn't had
that idiot Malcolm

following Julia and me,

they wouldn't
be quitting now.

Well,
Mr. Peace Ambassador to the United Nations,

you call off your dogs,
I'll call off mine.

You know,
I just want to say

that you don't have to pay
for my sketches,

unless, of course,
you honestly love them.

Oh, but I do.
Shelby loves them, too.

That's right.

They remind me
of some friends I made in the navy.

We better get going.

No, just a minute.
Not so fast.

I don't mind telling you,
I don't like this one bit.

Okay.

So, Sissy and I
are a little unorthodox.

So what?

That's what makes
things worth getting up in the morning for,

turn things up,

doing things
a little different, you know.

And what's money anyway?

Well, it's just
a bunch of paper

that you trade in
for things that you want.

But if you
can't spend it on people you like,

what's the point
in keeping it around?

That's a very good point.

Well, I just can't even
stand the thought of y'all quitting.

I have grown to love
each one of you.

Mary Jo, Always
so anxious to please.

I mean, if I say
I like beige, she'll say,

"Yes, beige is good.

Beige goes
with everything."

When Shelby says
he hates beige,

she'll say,
"on the other hand,

Beige can be
incredibly boring."

Suzanne with her sketches

and the chest that
I still don't believe isn't silicone.

And that cat-that-ate-
the-canary grin.

Charlene, my darling,
wonderful new friend.

The only woman I know
likes to talk on the phone

more than me.
[CHUCKLES]

I promise I won't
let you down.

I will find a way
to give Waylon Jennings your phone number.

They have
the same accountant.

I'm sorry about
the private detective, Julia.

I was conducting
business as usual,

but I forgot
that you are

as unintimidatable
as I am. [CHUCKLES]

Same soul, different package.

Shelby do something.
I can't stand for them to quit.

They're our most favorite
decorators we've ever had.

How about it, ladies?

You're breaking
Sissy's heart.

Can't you stay around
a couple of weeks

and finish the job?

Hmm. Would you

promise if we did
stay to finish the job,

that things
would be conducted

in a more
businesslike fashion?

Uh, heck yes.

If that's what you want.

We were just trying
to be friendly.

[SIGHS] No more gifts?

No more fights?
No more phone calls?

You got it.
Mmm. All right.

It's just for
a couple of weeks.

[LAUGHS]
Oh, I'm so excited!

Come on, Let's just get
right to work right in this room.

I've been dying
to change it.

Well, wait a minute.
Just a minute. Hold on.

Y'all got at least
36 other rooms to choose from.

I like this room
the way it is.

Shelby, Darling,
I've been wanting to redecorate

using the colors
in this vase.

Sissy, this is a gun room.

You want to decorate
for that vase,

we'll build you
a vase room.

What do you think,
Mary Jo?

Well, a...
A vase room would be nice.

But a gun room
is nice, too.

Did you ever think
of running for president?

Maybe we should
pick another room.

No, I got my heart
set on this one.

and Shelby's
just being a jackass.

How can you act this way

when we just you promised
and to be businesslike?

Because a man has to draw
the line somewhere.

And this is my room.

These are my trophies.

This is my gun,

My ammunition.

And if I have to,
I'll fight to keep it.

No, that won't
be necessary. We agree.

A man's room
is his castle, right, ladies?

Absolutely.
Yes.

Well, I don't like
anything about it

And further more,
I am sick and tired of looking at things

that have been dead
15 or 20 years.

And I'm even more sick and tired
of them looking back at me.

So, you set on
doing this room to match that vase?

You bet I am.

What's your second choice?

Shelby, hon,
you're making a big mess in here,

and I do not
appreciate it.

I do not like it!

What do you propose
to do about it?

How do you
like it so far?

Um, don't bother
showing us to the door. We know the way out.

I wish
you hadn't done that.

Darla and I had
a real affinity for that one.

Now you went
and made me mad.

I think we're talking
emergency evacuation!

Run for your life!

Last one
to the car gets...

SUZANNE:
All I can say, Anthony,

is I'm glad
you were there to drive a getaway van.

MARY JO: Innit the truth?
Well, we might've been killed.

ANTHONY: I would've
gotten us all over through the electric gate

if the guard
hadn't stopped us.

JULIA: Well, at least,
we proved that Sugarbakers' doesn't belong to anybody,

but us.
That's called integrity.

But you got to admit,

they really know how
to say they're sorry. [ALL LAUGH]

We're trash,
but we deserve it.

Well, like I always say,

there's integrity,
and then there's mink.

[ALL LAUGHING]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]