Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Suzanne, have you seen those invoices on the furniture

that went out to Bonnie Walpers?

No.

Well, they were around here yesterday.

Charlene's parents are coming to Atlanta week after next?

Not just her parents, her whole family.

All 10 brothers and sisters?

Yeah, and their wives and husbands and kids.

It's going to be a regular hillbilly holiday.

They're bringing a bus from Poplar Bluffs,

some sort of Baptist convention.

Where are they all going to stay?

I don't know, Mary Jo. I don't ask questions like that.

I don't want some hillbilly tent city on my lawn.

For heaven's sake, just because they're from the Ozarks

doesn't mean they're uncivilized.

Easy for you to say. You weren't tied to a tree in Deliverance.

You're never going to believe what's happened to me.

Just guess.

Your family's coming to Atlanta.

I know, I'm so excited, but that's not it.

I was at this party last night,

and these friends who know I like to sing

start badgering me, but I don't like to do it,

unless my brother Robert accompanies me on guitar.

Like we used to perform for the JCs.

Anyway, they just kept on and on

so finally I did Stand By Your Man a cappella.

When it was over, this guy comes up to me.

He says, "Honey, you couldn't know this,

"but you're about to become a big recording star,

and I'm the one who's going to make it happen."

And you believed that?

Julia, he's a big record producer from Nashville. His name's Galen King.

Charlene, legitimate record producers don't just hear somebody sing one song

at a party and tell them they're going to be a star.

I'd be very happy to have him manage me.

Manage you? Well, sure.

I'm gonna have to have someone to help me get started.

Anthony, did you deliver that sofa at Felicia Mack's?

Yes, I did. Good.

'Cause she called, she wondered where you were.

Well that's because she wanted me to have lunch with her.

Excuse me, but I don't care to be caught fooling around with the wife

of a defensive tackle for the Atlanta Falcons.

Did you get the impression that she was lonely?

Yes, I did, especially when she answered the door naked.

She didn't. Oh, yes, she did.

Anthony, what did you do?

I felt to my knees and I begged for mercy.

I said, "Please don't do this to me."

I have seen Wendell Mack. His teeth are bigger than my face.

What I don't understand is why these things

are always happening to you and Charlene.

Wait a minute. How did I get into this?

I don't think I've had that many things happen to me.

Charlene, get serious.

Name me one other person who has been in nine automobile accidents

and had a pet struck by lightning.

What's your point?

My point is that maybe somehow,

you and Anthony inadvertently

bring trouble on yourselves.

I don't think that's true. You think that's true, Mary Jo?

You were the only one who went to furniture mart that got hijacked.

Oh, and this is my fault because a man I've never met before sits down next to me

and says, "Tonight we dance in Havana?

All I'm saying is that it's always something.

And this Galen King person, whoever he is,

is going to turn out to be another big disaster.

I can smell it a mile away.

Everything will be in uproar for days.

Lifeboats will be brought out.

Everyone will be screaming, "We're all going to die."

[KNOCK ON DOOR] All I'm saying is, just this once,

when trouble knocks at our door,

couldn't we tell trouble to fold it in five corners

and put it where the sun don't shine? Okay?

Okay, but you be the one to say it.

May I help you?

Yes. I'm Wendell Mack.

I'm looking for Anthony Bouvier.

You see? This is a perfect example

of what I was talking about.

Anthony is sent out to deliver a sectional sofa,

and now it's going to end in bloodshed.

[LAUGHING] She's having a rough day.

I'm Anthony. How are you, Wendell?

I can't tell you how much I admire you.

You're my favorite Falcon.

Get up!

Okey-dokey.

I may be big, but I'm not dumb.

I graduated in the top 10% of my class.

I'm smart enough to figure out when some guy insulted me and my wife.

We have an understanding, see?

I live my life, she lives hers.

The only think I make sure of is that she's happy and satisfied.

Now, what I want to know is,

where does a little punk like you get off

turning down someone like Felicia?

I just thought-- I don't care what you thought.

I'm just giving you a warning, The next time my wife comes on to you,

you better figure out a way

to put a smile on her face.

Do we understand each other?

Boy, I sure hope so.

Good. Then I trust we won't have to do this again.

Ladies.

Something about that didn't sound right.

Hi. I'm Galen King.

Hi, Galen. Come on in.

Yes, Mr. King. We've been expecting you.

Unfortunately, we're all very busy,

so I'd appreciate if you just go ahead and do whatever it is you're going to do.

Like what? Like cheat us, rob us, kill us,

just get it over with.

Julia!

Galen, this is my friend Julia Sugarbaker.

She has a few reservations about all this.

Did you find us okay?

Are you kidding? I'm an old Georgia boy.

Atlanta's my turf.

I throw a big bash every year for Waylon Jennings at the Al Echo Club.

They call it Waylon and Galen Together Again.

Galen, this is Mary Jo Shively.

How you're doing?

This is Suzanne Sugarbaker.

Hello. Hey.

Has anyone told you you look like Vivian Leigh?

Yes. I get that all the time.

Oh, and this is Anthony Bouvier.

Anthony, how you doing? Here's a space shuttle key chain

compliments of me.

I'm on the list to go up.

CHARLENE: Galen.

Um...

They're a little concerned

that you might be, you know, just taking me for a ride,

so I thought if you could explain a little more

what you have in mind.

Oh, sure Charlene. I'd be glad to.

What you want is a little reassurance

from me that I'm not going to take advantage

of your friend Charlene, here.

I'm not going to lie to you.

It's going to cost some bucks upfront.

It's going to cost $2,000 to be exact.

That's just to get in the door.

Now that gets you a couple of songs in a local club,

with a couple of talent scouts which is gonna happen right away.

I think we need to test the waters.

And it also is gonna get you one no-frills demo tape.

And I'll waive my manager's fee until we make it big.

That sounds fair.

Speaking of making it big.

Can you believe that Billy Vera?

Now is that a great song or what?

You know, I tried to tell him four years ago.

♪ I will get down on my knees ♪

♪ And kiss the ground That you walk on ♪

♪ If I could just ♪

♪ Hold you again ♪

Galen, that's fantastic!

I didn't know you could do that.

I'm serious, you should sing yourself. You should.

Oh, no way. I'm not a star. I'm a star-maker.

You know, it's been a long time

since somebody made me sit up and take notice

the way Charlene here did.

I'm not just talking about good singing.

Good singers are a dime a dozen.

She's just got it.

You know, that undefinable spark that grabs you,

like Dolly Parton, Loretta Lynn, all the great ones.

I'm not saying it's going to be easy.

I'm not even saying it's for sure going to happen.

I'm only saying I'm going to give it my very best shot.

If I don't, I hope I'm struck by lightning.

You could get your wish.

Her dog was struck by lightning.

[♪♪♪]

You know, I was thinking last night about Charlene,

about how she gives everyone the benefit of the doubt.

And things happen to her because once she gets on a track,

she doesn't notice anything else.

She's like those women you read about in The National Enquirer,

the ones who don't know they're pregnant.

One day they're just sitting around sipping on a soda,

then suddenly look down and say,

"My stars, would you look at that, I just had a baby."

That's Charlene.

Anthony, you're an expert on lowlifes and con men.

Tell me,

do you think there's any chance Galen's on the up and up?

Remember that fertilizer commercial

where some dude skis down Bandini Mountain?

Mm-hmm. Uh-huh.

This guy's Jean Claude Killy of Bandini Mountain.

Anthony, where are you going?

I'm going out to Felicia and Wendell Mack's house

to pick up the furniture she's returning.

Why you think I'm wearing my jeans with the double-lock zipper?

Hi, Anthony. Hey, Charlene, looking good.

Thank you.

Galen gets these Tony Lama boots

for 50% off in case you want any.

ALL: No, thank you.

I guess that's unanimous.

Listen, babe. I got to run.

I'll see you at practice later.

Okay? Okay.

Thank you for my rhinestone tie clip.

You're welcome.

Charlene.

Are you giving this person presents now?

Charlene, don't you see what's happening here?

He's bilking you.

No, he's not.

I bought him that tie clip for the debut.

There'll be a lot of important people there from Nashville,

and he has to look good, too.

I don't understand how you got so obsessed

with this all of a sudden anyway.

I always talked about being a singer.

Daddy says I'm just like my mother.

We both have that same faraway look in our eyes.

Mama used to get up on Saturday mornings,

when she couldn't take another day of us kids,

she'd get in her car and drive to the Grand Ole Opry alone.

That was her dream-- to be on stage there.

Is that why this is so important to you? Because of your family?

I'm crazy enough to try it anyway,

but when I found out they were coming to see me,

that sort of made up my mind for me.

You don't know what it's like

being the oldest of 11 children.

You feel responsible.

I remember when we lived just outside Poplar Bluff,

Robert and I went to the bank with daddy to get a loan.

They kept us waiting for over two hours.

Daddy sat there with his hat in his hand.

Finally, Mr. Chalmers stood up and said,

"I'm sorry, Mr. Frazier, I don't see how we could possibly secure a loan

for a man who can't keep his children in shoes."

I looked down, Robert had this big hole in his shoe

he'd stuck newspapers in.

I'll never forget. It said, "Nixon resigns."

Anyway...

Daddy just stood up and he said, "Mr. Chalmers,

"my children may not have the best shoes but you can count on

"each of them growing up and doing just a little bit better than me.

"And if each of them has even half the kids I've had, they'll be 66 strong.

"So I can only hope you're as self-sufficient as we are fertile

'cause you just turned down half of the town."

That's a wonderful speech.

Yeah, well, we still didn't get the loan.

I vowed right then and there

that someday I'd make my daddy so proud,

he'd never have to hold his hat in his hand again.

JULIA: We've never had a family of 27 for cocktails.

I don't know why you're going to all this trouble for anyway.

They're probably bringing their own moonshine.

Oh, hush, Susane. This is Charlene's special night.

Everything's got to be perfect.

Okay, Everybody. Guess who's here.

We know who's here. Get in here.

Mama, daddy, this is Mary Jo.

These are my parents Iony Frazier and Norville Bud Frazier.

So nice to meet you, Mr. Frazier.

Please, call me Bud.

Mary Jo, how are you?

It seems we've known you for so long.

I feel I know you, too.

This is Julia. How do you do?

We can't thank you enough for inviting us.

That's right. You're a brave person.

I consider Charlene's family coming to town a major social occasion.

When you ask us over,

it isn't a social occasion. It's a commitment.

It's more than that. It's a Barbara Mandrell Christmas Special.

This is Suzanne.

Suzanne, it's nice to meet you.

You're the one who calls us hillbillies, right?

Well, I...Charlene.

Oh, it's okay daddy likes being called a hillbilly. Don't you, Dad?

I've been called worse.

So have I. [CHUCKLES]

Mama, daddy, this is Anthony Bouvier. He supervises our deliveries.

Pleased to meet you, young fella.

Mama, I have to go to the bathroom.

Harold Thomas, we not gonna start that.

We have seen the inside of every Stuckey's between here and Poplar Bluffs.

Oh, it's all right. Come with me. I'll show you where it is.

Isn't he a doll?

He's my baby. We wouldn't have had so many

but we didn't figure out till the first six what was causing it.

Daddy!

It's my fault. I just love babies.

By the time I get one up walking and talking,

I want me another one.

Mama. Okay, everybody. Just so you know, there we go.

These are my sisters Marlene, Harlene, and Darlene.

This is Darlene's husband Joe

and their kids Joe Jr., Becky, and Don.

This is Harlene's husband Dennis

and their kids Mindy, Danny, Jess, and Edward Lee.

And these are my brothers Frank, Duane, O'dell, Robert, Virgil, and Billy Hue.

This is Frank's wife Velma who's expecting.

This is Duane's wife Emily, who's expecting,

and their kids Margaret Ann and Duane Jr.

This is Robert's wife Cynthia and their kids

Buford and Brenda and Bobby Ray.

And I think you've met Harold Thomas.

Hi. Hi.

Okay I hate to do this, but I got to run.

I got to meet Galen at the club

and change my clothes.

Bye, baby. You get an encore.

You sing something your mom and I can dance to.

Okay, Daddy. Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Anthony, there's a red Ferrari out front,

and Wendell Mack's in it.

Did you do something to his wife again?

No, I didn't do anything to his wife.

That's probably why he's here.

Hey, I thought the last time I was here we understood each other.

And now you go and insult my wife again.

You're starting to make me mad.

Excuse me, but are you completely uncouth or what?

Can't you see we're having a family reunion here?

These are my parents, for crying out loud.

My brothers and sisters, their wives and husbands, and all their children,

and they didn't drive from Poplar Bluffs to look at your ugly face.

What? This is your family?

That's exactly right, and these are my brothers.

I just call them Bubba.

They go crazy if anybody tries to hurt me.

What is this, some kind of joke?

No, it's no joke.

My mama died when I was 2.

These good people adopted me.

You don't believe me?

Let me introduce you.

Wendell Mack, my parents Bud and Iony Frazier.

My sisters Marlene, Darlene and Harlene.

Darlene's husband Joe, their children Joe Jr., Don, and Becky.

Harlene's husband Dennis, their children Mindy, Jess, Danny, and Edward.

These are my brothers Frank, Duane,

Robert, O'dell, Virgil, and Billy Hue.

Frank's wife Velma, who's expecting.

Duane's wife Emily, who's expecting.

Their children Duane Jr. and Margaret Ann.

Robert's wife Cynthia and their children Buford, Brenda, and Bobby Ray.

And, of course, our baby Harold Thomas.

Hi.

Now, if you would care to join us for a glass of punch,

we'd be glad to have you

if it's okay with mom and dad.

That's up to you, son.

No. I didn't mean to bust up the party.

I'll see myself out. Right.

Oh.

Anthony, that was very impressive.

I've skied Bandini Mountain a few times myself.

Charlene.

Where is everybody?

Everybody's gone.

The owner's in his office. He just happened to be here.

Well, what about the show?

There's not going to be a show.

They're closed till Spring for remodeling.

Well, what about Galen?

He never showed up.

Who's Galen?

He--he was supposed to be my manager.

I gave him several thousand dollars

'cause I believed he was sincere.

Honey, you have always trusted people.

When she was little she would invite anyone who knocked on our door in for supper.

We had more meals with Jehovah's witnesses,

fuller brush men,

and Avon ladies than anyone in America.

Several thousand dollars?

I know, daddy. It's stupid. Julia's right.

I shouldn't be allowed to date men, drive cars, or be around lightning.

Several thousand dollars?

Iony, I think I'm going to need my heart medicine.

It's okay, Dad, I've learned my lesson I'll never trust anyone again.

Charlene.

Where have you been?

[SCOFFS] Where do you think I've been?

I don't know. Knowing you, the Moon.

[LAUGHING] The Moon?

She's saying that because I'm slated to go into space.

You got that right.

Why don't you just let me and the Bubbas take him out back?

Uh, hang on. I believe this belongs to you.

What's this?

It's the rest of your money.

We spent $700.

You never intended for me to sing anywhere, did you?

All those nights practicing.

All those stories about me being a big star.

I believed in you.

I know. That's why I came back.

What?

I been working this circuit a long time,

and you're the first person who took me completely on faith.

I was driving out of town, and I never felt so bad in my life

and suddenly I heard the voice of Jimmy Swaggart in my ear.

He's a personal friend,

and he said, "Galen, you have done

"a low and terrible thing.

"I beseech you to go now and return all the worldly goods

to one who has been so childlike and believing of you."

Galen, that was wonderful! Isn't he good?

You could be a preacher.

Charlene, you've got to stop being this way.

Somebody's going to take advantage of you.

I think somebody has. Oh, now what's wrong?

I'm short $200.

I spent it, okay? I didn't say I was perfect.

Oh, now, anyway. If you want it back,

I can put you into this great chain letter.

Most of them are hokey,

but this one is for special people.

Galen. Get out. Yeah?

Right.

Listen, I'm going to have to close up here.

Boy, you weren't kidding about meeting some people.

Yeah, well, this is my family.

All my family.

Excuse me, how much would you charge

to open up this place tonight?

Well, we're not prepared...

The bar's locked up.

We're not interested in the bar, just the stage.

Julia!

I guess I could do that.

For the right price.

But all I've got is soft drinks.

Wonderful. Put it on my tab.

♪ I can fly to Paris ♪

♪ Oh, that's at My beck and call ♪

♪ Why do I Go through life ♪

♪ With nothin' at all? ♪

♪ But when I dream ♪

♪ I dream of you ♪

♪ Maybe someday It will come true ♪

♪ But when I dream ♪

♪ I dream of you ♪

♪ Maybe someday ♪

♪ It will come true ♪

I love you, mama.

[ALL APPLAUDING]

["WHEN I DREAM" PLAYING]