Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Julia, I don't understand why you always have make everybody at the Country Club so mad?

What happened?

What happen is, we're having our annual pre-spring ball Saturday

to raise money for the Children's Art Center.

Julia as absent from the last meeting,

and I forgot to tell her the theme was "Hobo Heaven."

Hobo Heaven?

Yeah. We're going to dress up like poor people.

Is that not tasteless?

I thought it was cute.

That's to be expected

from someone who bought a sun visor for a poodle.

Anyway, we don't have to worry about it I got it voted down,

and now we can wear anything we want.

We? Yeah, we.

I bought tickets for all of us.

After all, it's a good cause.

Julia, I can't go. I don't have anybody to take!

I don't know if we can go either. I think J.D. has to work.

Oh, that's okay, you can all go with Hymie if you want to.

No, we wouldn't want to do that.

I mean, Hy's 85 years old.

He wouldn't want us along.

I don't know why not.

We're always dragging around that blasted oxygen tank.

Hey, everybody.

Sorry. I would've been back sooner,

but I had to pick up a class schedule from the junior college.

The Spring term starts in four weeks,

and I plan to be on the roll book.

Anthony, I do wish you'd let me help with tuition.

I told you, I'm not taking any extra money from you.

I told you, I'm getting a second job.

Hey, you know, I thought of a good job you can get at night.

Where? At the Country Club,

they're having all these Spring fundraisers, they always need waiters.

I bet you could probably start next weekend.

Julia, Anthony doesn't have any training as a waiter.

Excuse me, Suzanne. But for your information,

for six months, I was the Chief Maitre d'

at the Dunbar Correctional Institute for Men.

They're not going to count prison experience.

There's a big difference between serving society people

and dishing out slop for convicts.

Excuse me, again, Suzanne,

But you're obviously unaware

of the rigorous training I received

under the tutelage of Mr. T. Tommy Reed.

I give. Who's T. Tommy Reed?

T. Tommy was the meanest dude on our cellblock.

One day he checked the book on table manners

out of the prison library...

The next day he stabbed the waiter

for serving him from the wrong side.

You talk about dudes getting their Ps and Qs together.

They were trading cigarette coupons just to look at that book.

I used to personally fold T. Tommy's napkin in a tulip pattern.

So don't tell me about waiting tables, Suzanne.

I can dish vichyssoise with the best of them.

Okay, Anthony, let's go call

and get you an interview.

Well, all right.

Hey, all.

Hi, Reese. Hi, Reese.

Well, hi, good-looking.

Hi yourself, you gorgeous thing.

Guess what? I got a new dress to wear for you tonight.

Oh, darling. I stopped by to say I can't have dinner tonight.

I got to go to Marietta and take a deposition.

I'll probably be home late.

Oh, well... Well, that's okay.

We can do it tomorrow.

Oh, boy. [CHUCKLES]

I'm going to be working late tomorrow night, too.

We're getting ready for a lawsuit.

Reese, I didn't realize how late it was.

Don't you think we better get going?

Oh, right. Everybody, this is Shannon Gibbs.

Hi. Hi.

Nice to meet you.

This young lady is a new attorney at our firm.

Oh. Oh, congratulations. Nice to meet you.

Thank you.

Well, we better get going.

Uh, darling, I'll--I'll call you, okay?

Okay. Okay, well, I'll just...

Wait and talk to you then.

Well, have fun.

Well, isn't that nice?

Reese has been so overloaded with work.

I'm glad he's finally found some help.

Help?

Julia, have you lost your mind?

That's not help. That's trouble with a capital "T."

Well, Suzanne,

I don't think Julia has to feel threatened

just because someone Reese works with is...

Attractive.

Attractive?

Y'all been cooped up in here too long.

Did you get a look at that body?

She has a butt you could serve tea on.

Suzanne, I just don't care to discuss it.

Anthony...

Did you think she was that attractive?

No, I did not.

She looked to me like her feet were big.

Before you go, I want to ask you something.

What's this you wrote here?

"Two couch...

Lamps."

I--I think that's supposed to be coach lamps.

I think you must've read the order wrong.

That's because she needs to upgrade her reading glasses,

but she's too vain to admit it.

I most certainly am not.

There's nothing wrong with my eyesight, Susane.

In fact, it's almost perfect.

Oh, it is not.

You can't even see small print.

Here. Read this.

What? Charlene's book.

Well, all right.

"Naked Derek fell to his knees

and wept unashamedly."

"Slowly he explored her

as their hips pulsated in dull, throbbing sensation."

"Hungry, he took her again and again."

Well, I think I proved my point.

It's amazing.

You can't read order forms,

but you can read trash.

Where does she get this stuff?

She belongs to the paperback- of-the-month club.

They only feature people

who are throbbing and naked.

Y'all are just never going to believe

what my psychic just told me.

MARY JO: What?

We're sitting there, going through all the usual stuff--

Somebody with the initial "B" is wishing me well,

I'm not getting enough iron,

I'll have trouble with my teeth in the Fall.

Is this going somewhere?

Yes, wait. All of a sudden she goes,

"Tell me. Are you going to some private club Saturday night?"

I go, "That's incredible."

She goes, "I don't know how to tell you.

You're going to meet the father of your children."

Can you believe that?

Well, how you're supposed to know who he is?

He'll ask me to dance, and I'll know it when it happens.

Well, hello, ladies.

ALL: Hi, Reese. Julia.

I know you're in a rush, but I'm ready.

Darling, something has came up,

I'm sorry. I have to take another deposition.

This story is starting to need a little work.

You can come with us if you like.

Us?

Yeah, Shannon's helping me.

No, thank you.

One babysitter for this girl is quite enough.

Now, now, come on, y'all. Don't fight.

This is not a fight.

It's just a misunderstanding.

All I did was break a date.

Six.

Six dates in a row.

I may need new glasses, but I am not blind.

You're running around after somebody half your age,

insulting me with ridiculous excuses.

Next thing I know you'll be saying she's your niece.

She's not my niece. She's an attorney in my law firm.

Oh, come on you two, don't fight.

It's not a fight. It's a misunderstanding.

And I don't understand what you're so upset about,

after all I'm still taking you to the dance.

Oh, no, you're not. Huh?

I wouldn't go with you if you got down on your hands and knees

and crawled across Georgia.

Then I guess we're not going

because there's not much chance of me doing that.

You know what I'm gonna do now, Reese Watts?

I'm going to go up those stairs,

and when I come down you better be gone,

or I'm gonna call the police and have you arrested for trespassing.

Julia, sometimes you need to be taken out and actually horsewhipped.

You're not the man that's going to do it.

Now get out and stay out!

[SIGHS]

[DOOR SLAMMING]

What's the matter? You've never seen a misunderstanding before?

Okay.

I've got it narrowed down to three dresses.

Keep in mind, whichever one I pick will be the first thing

my future husband ever sees me in.

So, this is probably the most important dress of my life.

Now, Julia, I want your opinion, too.

I like all of them.

I haven't shown them to you yet.

Oh, I'm sorry, Charlene.

I don't know where my mind is.

I guess I must be getting old and blind and senile.

You're not senile. You're just depressed.

I want you to go over to that phone right now

and call Reese.

Mary Jo I've told you I'm not depressed.

I have never been happier.

Y'all are never going to believe what I just heard.

Reese Watson is taking that Shannon

to the Country Club dance.

Well, I've probably been a little happier.

[LIVELY JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

Well, I just cannot believe the nerve of Hy

getting sick on a night like this.

I mean, he's known about this for six weeks.

If he needed open heart surgery,

he could've had it then.

Oh, leave the poor old guy alone.

I mean for heaven's sake, at least he sent his car for us.

[SHUSHES] Mary Jo, you never should've had those drinks in the limo.

They shouldn't put them in those little cans.

I thought it was grapefruit juice.

Do you see your future husband anywhere?

Oh, I like that guy.

Figures. He works in the kitchen.

Okay, I got all the coats checked.

Suzanne's was so big, I think they had to store it in a meatlocker.

[LAUGHING]

Is my date funny or what?

Now, wait.

There's some very important people at this table.

Now, don't do anything uncouth.

Like what?

Well, she means like, uh...

Picking our noses,

drinking out of the finger bowls...

Passing out.

Hello, everyone.

I'd like y'all to meet some friends of Julia's and mine.

This is Mary Jo Shively, J.D. Shackleford,

and Charlene Frazier.

[GASPS] This is it. What?

That man's coming towards me, he's going to ask me to dance.

He's coming close, Mary Jo! This it it-- This is--

This is the father of my children.

He went on by.

Oh, my word.

Would you look at that?

Yoo-hoo, Julia.

Okay, Now,

let's not make a big deal of this, okay?

Would you stop telling us how to act?

Is it loud in here or what?

Mary Jo...

Well, hello, everybody.

This is an old friend of mine--

Harrison Wright.

My goodness, you seem to have filled up the table.

I hope there's room for us.

No problem.

Where did you get him?

Never you mind. I just decided two can play this game.

Here.

I stole one of those.

Now I'll get a waiter to bring a highchair.

Better get one for your date, too.

I hope we haven't missed anything.

Nah.

We thought some man was going to father Charlene's children,

but he was just going to the bathroom.

You know, all of a sudden

I have this incredible urge to dance.

Would you mind? My pleasure.

Actually, I feel like a little rumba myself.

Harrison.

Okay.

Just so you know...

Dancing is extra.

Thank you, Harrison.

Hey, Anthony, how is it going?

It's going okay.

I'll tell you one thing, though.

These society types are a lot more trouble than the brothers.

These people are helpless.

And the whining...

"Light my bic, flick my ash, swizzle my stick."

Shee!

Hang in there, buddy.

[SLOW MUSIC PLAYING]

You know, Julia I've seen you do some pretty dumb things,

but this has got to be at the top of the list.

Jealous?

Of what? A paid escort?

Well, I admit maybe I was trying to prove a point,

but now I'm finding myself strangely attracted.

You're serious. [CHUCKLES]

Oh, I see.

Perfectly acceptable for you,

but unacceptable for me, right?

You know, I was going to call you earlier tonight,

and, just as a friend,

suggest that you not wear

those old boxer shorts of yours.

Young girls find them very unsexy.

I'm not wearing my old boxer shorts,

if it's any of your business.

You're not?

No, I got some new underwear.

You did?

That's right.

It's good-looking, too.

I see. Well, thank you for the dance.

That's my line. Right.

ANNOUNCER: Thank you. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

We're going to take a break for a couple of minutes and we'll be right back.

Well...

It's all over.

He's in love with her.

How do you know?

He...

Bought new underwear.

You know, Reese, this is a magical night.

I'm having a very nice time.

Well, I've noticed.

Oh?

Have you also noticed

I'd like to go to bed with you?

No, I hadn't noticed that.

Well, then, let me state my case, Counselor.

Bed is something else I do very well.

I haven't wanted anyone as much as I want you in a long time.

In fact, all day long,

while you were talking about implied negligence,

I was thinking about exploding in each other's arms.

I promise I'll make it as fulfilling for you as it is for me.

Oh, and of course, it need not interfere with work.

Now, what's the verdict?

Well, I... Ahem...Ahem. I--ahem.

Throat is very dry.

I--I'm just going over to the bar here.

Will you excuse me?

I'll have a bourbon.

Can you believe it?

There are probably 60 millionaires in this room even as we speak.

Look who she's dancing with.

The guy from the kitchen.

I give up. She's hopeless.

Reese, old buddy, I thought you knew she was after you.

Everybody at the office knows.

They do? Mm-hmm.

Well, I must have my head in the sand.

This thing has taken me completely by surprise.

So what's the problem? Well you know Julia.

Yeah, I know Julia.

But you're not with Julia anymore.

Yeah but you know how that sort of thing goes.

All I know is you got a beautiful young girl panting at your feet.

Now usually I say you don't mix business with pleasure,

but I think this girl can handle it.

Heck, she even patted me on the butt a couple of times.

She did? Mm-hmm.

I don't know, Burton.

These new women are not like the women we grew up with.

She's talking about explosions.

So what's your problem?

I'm not sure I'm packing that much dynamite.

I asked you to come in here with me

because I respect you.

I can tell we're both strong-minded

feminist-oriented women who can be honest with each other.

I hate it when women cat fight over men, don't you?

What's your point?

My point is,

you don't have to feel threatened by me.

I'm not going to marry Reese

or take him away from you.

I just want to have a relationship with him for a while.

Now if you can handle that, I promise

there will be no subterfuge or deceitfulness on my part.

Can we be friends?

You know, Miss Gibbs...

Growing up in the rural part of Georgia,

I've been around compost all my life.

I've seen it loaded onto wagons and tilled and hoed

and spread across fields far and wide,

but until today, I must say,

I've never seen it gift-wrapped

in so neat and tidy and pretty a package.

Congratulations.

You're a very clever girl...

But it's still compost.

If you'll excuse me, I'll leave you to dig your way out.

You do know how to dig, don't you?

You just get down on your hands and knees

and shovel.

Around the office we call her the terminator.

Uh, Shannon...

There you are.

I hope you've been thinking about my offer.

Hey, I'm enormously flattered.

That's nice, but not completely satisfying.

Well, you see, I'm sort of committed.

Oh, Reese, don't get the wrong idea.

I don't have indiscriminate sex with people.

I'm very selective,

and I don't need a commitment.

Well, you see,

I kind of do.

I'm one of these strange leftover guys.

The glacier melted down, I stepped out,

and here I am.

You are darling, you know that?

Well, I suppose it could grow into a commitment.

No, no, it couldn't. I'm committed to someone else.

But I thought you and Julia were--

Oh, well, this sort of thing goes on all the time.

With us, it's never over. [CHUCKLES]

Not even when the fat lady sings.

That's, uh...

The commitment.

I guess this is the part where I say

she's very lucky.

Well, you're very sweet.

I like Julia a lot.

I think we could've been friends.

You still can. Let me give her your number.

No, no, no, that's okay.

I think she's got it.

I don't know why I bother to get so upset?

I mean, they just thrive on this stuff.

In fact, everyone in this group

is completely unreformable.

I just wash my hands of all of them.

Except for Harrison.

You know, Julia,

I probably shouldn't tell you this,

but I'm amazed that you were worried about her.

Well, she's beautiful and bright and...

Young.

Yeah, well, I've been looking around this room tonight

at all the beautiful, bright, young women.

You know what?

They haven't got a thing on you.

[GIGGLES]

Reese Watson, you're just saying that.

No, it's true.

You danced by me about that time,

and I just got one glimpse of the back of your legs,

and I thought to myself,

"Boy, that's for me."

Sometimes I don't know what I did

before I met you.

Forgive me for being so silly?

I always do.

Hey, I got an idea.

Let's just stand here and kiss on the dance floor

until they throw us off.

Reese?

Yeah.

You didn't actually buy new underwear, did you?

I'm sorry. That's personal.

Of course, uh...

There's one way to find out.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]