All language subtitles for Designing.Women.1993.S01E15.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.H264.AAC-PTerWEB_track3_[eng]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, don't be silly, Paul.
I love opera.

I've always had
this fantasy

that Elvis would sing
that part of the navy captain in Madame Butterfly.

Okay. Me, too.
Bye-bye.

Let me guess--
the new Mr. Wonderful.

No. He's nice.
We're just good friends.

He was calling me
from an estate sale in Chicago.

Charlene, these figures
are disastrous.

I don't understand.
When you worked for Hayden,

you always showed
a profit.

Well, Julia, Hayden had
more money coming in than going out.

Generally,
that means a profit.

Well, what am I
going to do?

I put every dime
that I was bequeathed

by generations
of Sugarbakers

into this quicksand
of a business.

Old money.
Antebellum money.

I've got an investment
in this business, too--

New money.
Antecharlene money.

Person coming through.

Did Mrs. Wagner
finally order some fabrics?

Well...

Sort of.

Is it my imagination,
or do I detect

a lack of
enthusiasm here?

Julia, Mary Jo's obviously
had a hard morning.

She's hauling those
heavy books around

and dealing
with that horrible Mrs. Wagner.

Let me remind you

that we're depending
on Mrs. Wagner's first check

to cover this week's
payroll.

But do forgive me,
Mary Jo,

and thank you
for saving us from chapter 11.

She went with
Regency Interiors.

She went with
Regency Interiors?

What do you mean
she went with Regency Interiors?

I don't know.

I guess things
started to go sour when,

in my most diplomatic manner,
I suggested that

the chairs that
she wanted to order

were perhaps better suited
to someone with perhaps,

say, oh, 50 pounds less bulk.

You actually used
the word "bulk"?

I guess there's
no way to make "bulk"

come out sounding good,
is there?

I never heard it in a
popular song or anything.

Why did you have to
say anything at all?

I had no choice.

I mean,
even a 50-pound weight drop

would have only brought
her down to a size 26!

And these...
these chairs she wanted

were these skinny little things
made out of peacock feathers.

All I could picture was
the obituary...

"Fat feathered fanny
falls through floor."

Some go by drowning,
others by plague.

If that's the way Mrs. Wagner
chooses to exit this world,

who are we to deny her?

Look, every night
at dinner time,

my kids and I tell three things
that happened during the day.

Now, being a single parent,

I try to think of something

that will impart a
valuable moral lesson.

I'm afraid that telling
them that I made a sale

and risked somebody's
life might bottom out, morality-wise.

Mary Jo, this is not
Mr. Roger's Neighborhood.

Couldn't you just
tell a few white lies?

Believe me, it's a dying art.

I wouldn't even
know how to tell one.

Oh, you all do it all
the time unintentionally.

You know, it's like
when you're out on a first date with a guy

and he orders a
hamburger for dinner

and then he asks
you what you want and you say,

"Oh, just make that two."

Even though you're dying
for the filet mignon.

But you're afraid
your date can't afford it.

But you know deep down inside

you know he's probably
really just a cheapskate.

And the whole time you
wish you were home watching

Knots Landing,
eating a whole package of Double-Stuffed Oreos.

That's kind of
a little white lie.

[DOOR OPENS]

Good morning, ladies.

Coffee brewing yet?

My, you're dressed to kill
this morning.

Yeah. It's an original
Roger de Biarritz.

Pretty foxy, huh?

Honestly, Suzanne,
I can't think of one person

who'd even dare to
try wearing something like that.

Well, thank you, Julia.

You're welcome,
Suzanne.

Now, you see
how easy that was?

Suzanne feels good.
And what would I gain

by telling her that dress
looks like it was chosen

by some color-blind pimp?

Well, it was
another incredible, tempestuous night.

Will the male species
never cease to be fascinated by me?

Maybe you should
incorporate, Suzanne...

Sell off shares.

Are penny stocks
still on the market?

Will you apologize
for that comment

if I tell you I got us
another account?

Yes. Who's
the new client?

His name is Bo Mastrick.

I met him
on the golf course.

We birdied together.

It's a good thing you got
something going

'cause we lost
Mrs. Wagner.

What? Who lost
the account, anyway?

Suzanne... Did I tell you
how interesting

you look in that dress?

Really? Maybe
I should get this in more colors, huh?

Should we drop contracts
for this Mastrick project?

No, not yet.
We still have to go over the plans with his wife.

He has a wife?

Believe me, I didn't know
till the third margarita.

What is it about me

that attracts every man
with a pulse?

You give green stamps?

I'd better warn you
about something, Mary Jo.

I'm afraid Bo's
the worst thing a man can be.

He's...

Well, I think he's...

What?

A mass murderer? What?

Worse.

He's cheap.

That's it.

I'll just tell the kids
that I'm a failure

as soon as we finish
our peach cobbler.

I knew the Mastricks
would be impossible.

She wants Chippendale,
Rococo,

Louis XIV.

He wants early motel.

And $12,500 is the most
Mr. Mastrick will spend.

That is his absolute,
outermost limit.

Well, 30% commission
will pull us through.

Are you kidding?

12.5 for three rooms
of period pieces?

We'd have to assemble it
ourselves from a kit.

You know, maybe I can ask
my friend Paul to help us.

He travels all over
the country and goes to big estate sales.

Bet he could get us
plenty of stuff way below decorators' discount.

That would be wonderful.

Charlene, do you
really think he could?

You know,
your judgment in men

isn't exactly,
shall we say,

State of the art.

Okay, I'll admit
I've had a run of bad luck

in the men department
in the last five or six years.

But I've been watching
Phil Donahue, and I've realized now

that my pattern
is self-destructive.

I mean, the tiger can
change its spots.

Julia, if you'd
rather sell some stocks

or maybe
your diamond ring--

On the other hand,
I see no reason

not to try every
possible alternative.

I still don't understand

why your friend Paul had
to make this appointment at 10 P.M.

Like I said,
Paul's a very important businessman.

He's flying in from Chicago
from that big estate sale

as a personal favor to me.

Okay, ladies.
I finally got a couple of my people

and an extra van
to load that stuff at the warehouse.

You're sure
they've had experience moving things?

Moving large objects
quickly was their previous occupation.

And they're
good drivers?

Very experienced
and real fast.

Once that van is loaded,
they take off.

We wouldn't them to take
any more time than they have to since

I presume they'll charge
time and a half.

Oh, no. They're
used to working nights.

Could these assistants
be friends from your prison days?

Yes, I did make
their acquaintance

during my unfortunate
incarceration.

But I assure you ladies
that these gentlemen

are of the same
high caliber as the unjustly accused

who stands
before you now.

Just make sure
you're on time.

Service is our most
important product.

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

Hi.
Hi.

You look wonderful.
Do I?

The best.
Mmm.

Oh, where are
my manners?

Paul, I want you
to meet Mary Jo...

And that's Julia,
and that's Suzanne.

I feel like we're
already old friends.

Charlene thinks
the world of you.

Charlene loves everybody.

We'd better go see

if there's
anything in my friend's warehouse

that interests you.

He's a doll.

I could really
go for him.

Well, he meets
all your requirements.

He's breathing.

I bet he's got
some great stuff.

If this merchandise
is any good,

I'll eat my shoe.

About that shoe,
Julia,

I hope that includes
the heel.

Oh, my gosh.

The agent assures me
it's real quality merchandise.

It's a distress sale.

Some Arab sheik's
having problems since oil prices dropped.

Thank you.

Mary Jo, you having
a religious experience?

Back in '74,
when I was sitting

In one of those
endless gas lines,

I prayed then that
someday, somehow,

It would all
even out.

This is from only
one of the Sheik's 26 mansions.

It's hard to believe
that all this stuff

is for sale
at bargain prices.

Why you always
have to look

a gift horse
in the mouth?

Because if you
look one in the rear,

they usually
kick you.

Hepplewhite chairs
with shield-back design.

Nice touch.

Tax included,
comes to $13,542.

Charlene told me
you're on kind of a tight budget.

Let's just make it
$10,000 even.

We couldn't
let you do that.

If you're happy,
it's worth it.

I assume you'll
take a check.

You're like family.

I've got another
estate sale tomorrow in Chicago.

I just have
enough time to catch the redeye.

Otherwise, I'd
help you load.

Oh, that's all right.
We have help outside.

It was great meeting you.

Thank you.

Thanks.
Take good care of my girl here.

I'll call you
when I get back, Charlene.

Mastricks are just
going to drop

when they see
all of this!

Okay, everybody grab
a few things.

But Anthony
hired those movers.

Who are being paid
by the hour, Suzanne.

I'm not asking you
to lift an armoire,

just a few vases.

Oh!

I've chipped a nail.

These hands were
just not designed for manual labor.

It's times like these,
I could just kill Gloria Steinem.

Charlene, can you get the door?
Sure.

POLICEMAN: Freeze!

You're all
under arrest.

"You have the right
to remain silent.

"Anything you say
can and will be used against you

in a court of law."

Excuse me.
Is there someplace where I can freshen up?

See, my mascara's
smudged.

Aw, I'm afraid not.

We're installing
a tanning machine in the ladies' lounge.

This is something that
just drives me crazy.

I mean, this make-up
specialist swears up and down

that you have to get
the most expensive brand

because it's so much better
than the others. So you buy it.

And it turns out
it's no better than that $1.98 stuff

you can get
at the supermarket.

Suzanne, those pictures
they just took weren't for Harper's Bazaar.

Wish they'd bring
Julia in here.

She shouldn't
have argued.

They could put her
in solitary,

maybe even
a big sweat box.

Mary Jo,
this is a city jail.

I don't think
they got a sweat box.

I'm reporting every
constitutional right you have violated.

I am seriously
involved with Reese Watson, the attorney.

The press calls him
the Clarence Darrow of Atlanta.

When he finishes
suing this place,

you'll be lucky
to get a job assisting the tidy-bowl man.

Will you shut your mouth?
You're driving me crazy.

One more word,
and we'll do a full body search.

I beg your pardon.

You heard me.

Listen very carefully.

If any person
dares to violate

one orifice
on this body,

she will be eating
her teeth for breakfast.

I do indeed appear to be
the picture of southern gentility,

but when I get riled,

I make Rambo look like
little Mary Sunshine.

Am I making myself
crystal clear?

I want y'all to know
this is a big mistake.

Just a big, huge,
ugly, fat mistake.

Paul will get us
out of here.

JULIA: Charlene.

Paul is the owner
of a warehouse of stolen goods.

What am I going
to tell my kids?

What will I say,

that mommy visited
a pretty place with iron bars?

It's only jail--
one night.

Only...
Jail?

I don't know anybody
besides Anthony

who's ever been
in jail before.

Yeah, you do.

Who?

Me.

I don't believe that.

No, no, I was
in high school, Beth Ann Monski--

This new girl in town

all the popular girls
treated like dirt

'cause she didn't have
fancy clothes.

I decided to be her
one-person welcome wagon.

And we got picked up
for shoplifting.

It seems
that Beth Ann

wasn't life's
most honest person,

and she had $600 worth
of mood rings on her.

I got kicked off
the cheerleading squad.

I got stripped
of my pompons.

But I held
my head high.

I was an innocent victim
of circumstantial evidence...

Like us.

And Paul.

I can't imagine
what's keeping Reese.

Suzanne, you told him
it was urgent, right?

I didn't speak
to Reese.

Then you still have
your one phone call left.

Well, no. Actually,
I called to cancel

my 11:00 body wave
appointment.

You mean you used
your one allotted call

to phone
the beauty parlor?

You don't
just not show up

for a Mr. Picard
body wave!

He might never
take me again.

Anyway, I
didn't think they'd count that call

because I used
my credit card.

And I was going to use
their dime to call Reese, but--

Well, he's
your boyfriend. Why don't you call him?

Because I had to stop
that $10,000 check.

Your friend Paul
will be at the bank

first thing
in the morning.

I called home...

Told the babysitter
to tell the kids

I got tied up...

Redecorating some
government buildings.

There.

It's kind of true.

I think you're
definitely ready

for white-lie
grad school.

By the way,
I called Anthony

and told him
to call Reese.

I've no intention of us
rotting in here.

Your attorney's
here to see you.

Thank goodness.

In here, Mr. Watson.

Thank you,
madam guard.

Ah, my poor clients.

What a miscarriage
of justice.

We'll have you innocents
out of here shortly.

Anthony, what on earth
are you doing here?

Breaking into a rash,
that's what.

Believe me, it is not
my general practice

to voluntarily
walk into a room with iron bars.

Where's Reese?

I don't know where
that dude is.

I left six messages
on his machine.

You can get a serious
hearing impairment listening to those beeps.

I can't believe you said
you were Reese Watson.

All I said to that chief
is that I was here to help with your defense.

He said, "you must be
the big-shot esquire."

I don't usually
correct anyone with a badge and .38.

You saw the police
lead us from that warehouse

with those handcuffs?

My associates and I
didn't stay around to witness that event.

As soon as we saw
the men in blue,

we hotfooted it
out of there.

I want to apologize.
It was an involuntary reaction,

and I'm deeply
ashamed and remorseful.

That's all right.
We understand.

I want you to know

my favorite bail
bondsman is working on this,

and I believe
we can expedite

this whole unfortunate
incarceration thing real soon.

There seems to be
another Reese Watson waiting downstairs.

Ah. That must
be dad.

I'm a junior.

Mom was of a darker
skin persuasion than dad.

That's the new
liberal south for ya.

All right,
all right, ladies, you are free to go.

Clarence Darrow's
posted your bail.

Oh, they located
your partner.

Who, Paul?

Mm-hmm.

That will end
this misunderstanding. Where is he?

Cook County jail.
Chicago.

The bozo's got
a rap sheet longer than the Mississippi.

They're bringing him
back tonight.

All right, ladies.
This suite's opening up.

[RING]

[RING]

Sugarbakers'.

No, thank you,
I would not like to have my face rearranged.

That was him again?

I don't know about you, Julia,
but having my life threatened three times a day

is beginning to wear
on my nerves.

It'll all be over
after we testify tomorrow.

Mary Jo,
what are you doing?

Trying to avoid
ricocheting bullets.

JULIA:
We are perfectly safe.

We have
police protection out there.

Oh?

Then how come

we never see
that police protection?

They're in unmarked cars
so they don't blow their cover.

What's the big secret?

Let's put a neon sign
over the front door

that says, "Freeze.
You're surrounded."

Hi, everybody.

What's the matter?

We got another
of those calls.

Oh. Well, you know,
I mentioned those calls to Paul

when I went to
visit him in jail,

and he said
his friend's just a big practical joker.

He was probably
just kidding.

Well, he sure doesn't
sound like Jay Leno

when he says
we're dead meat if we testify.

Well... He doesn't
mean... Dead dead.

That's just
a turn of phrase.

Little upset
about the fact

that we're going
to testify about what happened.

It does kind of
make Paul sound guilty.

Doesn't that
tell you something?

All I know is
I can't testify against a friend.

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

I'll get it.

Come in,
Detective Delaney.

Just wanted you to know
that they couldn't get another postponement,

so the trial's
definitely on for tomorrow.

I want you to know
how proud I am,

you doing
your civic duty

without the slightest
regard for your own personal safety.

Our own
personal safety?

Don't worry.
We haven't had a witness problem

in years.

The few men I have
are more than enough

to give you
first-rate protection.

Well, I'll be seeing
you ladies tomorrow.

That's it!

My babies
could be orphans.

I'm not testifying.

Count me out.

We're talking
about the possible destruction

of my perfect
high cheek bones.

I'm not jeopardizing
my meal ticket.

Are you going to let
lowlife scum

intimidate you out of
doing the morally right thing?

Uh-huh.

Me, too.

Fine.

I'll go solo.

At least there's
one person here

who has the courage
to stand up

for our legal
justice system.

And we salute you
for it, Julia.

I think joining
weight watchers

is a positive step,
Mrs. Wagner.

Mary Jo's going to be
happy to hear

that she was instrumental
in that decision.

[LAUGHS]
Definitely no more peacock tails. Yes.

And I will be
dropping by

to pick up
that $3,000 deposit later today.

Mm-hmm.
Bye-bye.

Okay.

They didn't come.

Who cares?

I'm perfectly capable
of doing this myself.

I never know
what to wear to court.

I asked
the saleslady to give me something

truthful-and-
courageous-looking in a pastel.

And she did.

Thank you.

Well, we do have
the same mother, after all.

It's beginning
to show.

Oh!

Thank heaven
you're still here.

Are you testifying?

As I said to my kids
at breakfast this morning--

Ask not
what your country can do for you.

Ask what
you can do for your country.

I always had
this enormous crush on John Kennedy.

Um, Detective Delaney
will be right in for us.

Are you going
to testify, too?

Yeah. I've
been thinking about everything you said,

and my place
is with my friends.

You can always
find a man,

but good friends,
them you don't let down. Mmm.

Together we stand.

And I want you to know
that my decision had nothing to do

with the call
from Paul's lawyer.

Paul's lawyer
called you?

Yeah. He said
if we agreed not to testify,

Paul wouldn't
name us as accomplices.

I had the D.A.
tell Paul's lawyer

what he could do
with his little deal.

Oh, Char, you
must be so upset.

Well,
disappointments happen, and I can roll with it.

Not everybody
turns out to be prince charming.

[HORN HONKS]

I have to say,
I'm pretty proud of all of us.

Okay, Let's go
fry the sucker.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]