All language subtitles for Designing.Women.1993.S01E11.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.H264.AAC-PTerWEB_track3_[eng]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

CHARLENE:
One perfect rose.

Doesn't that sort of
say something to you?

Yeah. It says that
mysterious date of yours is cheap.

Joan Collins' values
strike again.

I can't help it, Julia.

I'm a quantity person.

That is made obvious
by your appetite.

You can't get me
angry tonight, Julia.

It's almost new year's,

and that means a party.

And you know
how I love parties.

It's just so much fun
being the center of attention.

I'm sorry I'm late.

I had to help Claudia
pick out an outfit for tonight.

She's going to one
of those little co-ed parties

where a boy
brings a girl.

Claudia has a date?

Well, no,
it's not really a date.

I mean, well I know,
it sounds like a date, but it isn't.

because I won't allow
Claudia to date, not until she's 16.

Then what
would you call it?

Completely
out of touch.

I remember my first
New Year's Eve party.

There I was
with Tommy Garcon,

ringing out the old,
kissing in the new.

That was the year I first
learned about the bases.

Forgive my ignorance,
Suzanne,

but I don't believe
they covered the bases

in my edition
of the Masters and Johnson's manual.

Oh, you know. First base
is French kissing.

Second base
is breast.

Third base...
All right, Suzanne.

You can spare us third
and sliding into home.

I guess I was
about 13 then, too.

Kind of reminds me of me.

Maybe I can stop her
before she leaves.

Well, I'd like to know
where's Anthony.

Right here, Julia.

Oh, that is eerie
the way he does that.

You know, the way that
Anthony just shows up

when you mention his name.

Here's that stuff
you wanted from the gourmet shop.

Thank you, Anthony.

Oh, yeah,
and I especially want

to thank you,
Suzanne,

for calling ahead
and letting them know

I was picking up all
this stuff to be charged to your account.

Oh, I forgot to do that,
didn't I?

Oh, gee, Anthony,
I hope you didn't have trouble.

Well, I don't think
the owner of that fancy store

exactly thought
I belonged there.

Well, what makes you
say that?

Well, it wasn't
too hard to figure, Mary Jo.

Maybe it was the scarf.

You know,
It was kind of cold out,

and I was wearing it
a little high on my face.

Anyway, when
I approached the cash register,

He started screaming,
"This is a holdup!

"This is a hold up!"

Oh, my gosh.
What did you say?

I didn't say anything.

I hit the floor
just like everybody else.

Then it suddenly
occurred to me

that I kind of stood out
among the patronage.

Kind of like
a reverse Oreo.

Well, were you able
to explain to the owner

that it was all just
a big misunderstanding?

Yeah, but, I think
he was kind of disappointed

being he'd already
pressed

the silent alarm
to police headquarters.

I can't tell you
what a joy it is

being surrounded by
a SWAT squad during errands.

Thank goodness
the police believed you.

Yeah, well, I guess
they figured most professional thieves

do not pull a heist
for four quarts of eggnog

and some goose pate.

Anyway, I'd like
to wish you ladies

a very happy
new year.

ALL: Happy new year
to you, too, Anthony.

Well, I'm just
dying to meet

this mystery date
of yours.

How come
you won't tell us?

Well, you'll see
when we meet him at the restaurant.

It's a surprise, that's all.

Well, it was
awful sweet of him

to send you
this rose.

"Can't wait
to break out

the New Year
together." Signed "S."

Who could "S" be?

Stevie Wonder.

Don't worry.
He's not somebody awful

like Muammar Qaddafi
or the Boston Strangler.

That was
certainly the pair

I had it
narrowed down to.

Anyway, none of us
have met Suzanne's date, either.

Well, You will.
Worth's stretch limousine

it's gonna
pick us all up in about half an hour.

You know...
[LAUGHS]

I still cannot believe
that you are actually dating

an 82-year-old man.

Worth Carrington
happens to be

a very fascinating
person.

I don't suppose it hurts
that he's in the Fortune 500.

Oh, is he? I had no idea
of Worth's worth.

Isn't J.D.
gonna meet us here?

Uh, he was,
but now

he's just gonna
meet us at the restaurant.

He had to drop
his kids off

over at his
ex-wife's place.

Oh, really?

Yeah, I just hate it
when he goes over there.

She has this idea
that she still owns him on the holidays.

She just cannot
accept the fact that divorce

is a 365-day-a-year
event.

Well, I thought
J.D.'s wife left him

so she could go
find herself.

Yeah, she did.

Unfortunately, she keeps
trying to find herself

back in his bedroom.

Now, Mary Jo, everybody knows
J.D. is crazy about you.

You just take it from me.

You be sweet, patient,
and understanding.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Sugarbaker's.

Oh, hi, Reese.

Happy New Year
to you, too.

You are?

Yes,
she's right here.

He's in New York.

As in the city
in the state of New York

and not here with me

after we planned this evening
two months in advance?

Happy New Year
to you, too.

And you can just
stay in New York

with year-old new tax laws.

Gee, Julia, that was
real sweet, patient, and understanding.

I've always detested
New Year's Eve, anyway.

It's so silly,

everybody trying so
desperately hard to be happy.

And If you're not
blissfully happy,

then you feel like
you're some kind of a failure.

Well, I think you can just
count me out for tonight.

[FANFARE MUSIC PLAYING]

Suzanne, have you
checked Worth's pulse recently?

He looks sort of
dead to me.

Oh, no. He's alive.

I can hear
that geriatric wheezing of his.

Well, his chauffeur says
he drinks champagne like this every New Year's.

He's so happy
to make it into the next year.

He just wants to
celebrate 1987.

1987?
Is this 1987?

Not yet,
Worth.

Oh.

Are you
J.D. Shackleford?

Yes.
Your wife's on the phone.

Ex-wife. Excuse me.
I'll be right back.

Excuse me.

I've never seen radar
like that woman has

for tracking him
down.

I mean,
for heaven's sake,

they've been divorced
since 1984.

1987?

Not yet,
Worth.

You know, Mary Jo, I think
you're being an awfully good sport about this.

I mean, if J.D.
were my boyfriend,

I would be
stark raving crazy.

I'd be plotting revenge,
I would call New Jersey, hire a hit man,

and get that woman fitted
for cement shoes.

Watch her try to
tread water in the Hudson.

You think they have
an 800 number?

Well, at least
our dates showed up.

Shadow will be here in...

Shadow?

Yeah.

Well, how come
you didn't tell us before?

'Cause you're always
getting on me about going out with

the wrong kind
of men and I knew

you didn't want me
to date Shadow.

Well, I wasn't exactly
crazy about him

from what you told me
about him, but then I never have been

partial to men
with bullet holes in their pants.

Well, he's my friend.

If you ask me,
I think Julia

got the best deal.
[SNORING]

And I think
we were pretty rotten

to leave her alone
like that.

Since when did
you develop a conscience?

Since Howard Hughes
over there

started snoring
louder than that band.

Well, that was Janet.

Really?

And what did she
have to say?

Oh, nothing.
She was watching Casablanca.

That was our
favorite movie when we were married

and they were at
that part where Bogie and Bergman kiss.

I've seen the movie,
thank you.

I'm not real big
on reruns,

if you know
what I mean.

Yes, I think I do.

And I also think
I'm a jerk. I'm sorry.

I'll tell you what.

Let's all go back
and surprise Julia right now.

I'll just leave
a little thank-you note

here in Worth's
horn.

ANNOUNCER:
Now to 1987.

How much am I
into you now for?

$3,450,000.
But I'm willing to take an I.O.U.

because you've been
so nice as to keep me company tonight.

Well, since my date
fell through,

I didn't see any reason
for both of us to spend the evening alone.

We're back!
[HORN TOOTING]

ALL: Surprise!

We decided to come
and spend New Year's with you.

And I need
to make a call.

Well, Suzanne,
where's your date?

He turned out
to be closer to Father Time

than Daddy Warbucks.

I-- I know this
is the fourth time I've called you, Claudia.

I just wanna make sure you're--
you're having a good time

and that you're not
into any contact sports.

You know, like football.

Tag.

Baseball.

Pretty subtle.

All right, sweetie.

Happy New Year
to you, too.

I love you. Bye.

Look, The big ball's
about to go down on Times Square.

Let's get
the confetti.

Oh, it's just not
the same without Guy Lombardo.

Oh, I know
what you mean.

It's just like in
the Miss America pageant.

I mean, they can have
all the dimpled pretty boys they want to MC it.

It's just not the same
without that smiling Bert Parks

looking down
those girls' dresses.

ALL: 10, nine, eight,

seven, six, five,

four, three, two, one...

ALL: Happy New Year!
[HORN TOOTING]

ALL: Happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

♪ And never
brought to mind ♪

♪ Should auld acquaintance
be forgot... ♪

ANNOUNCER: We interrupt
this program for this special bulletin.

Peter alias "Shadow"
Wallace

has just escaped
maximum security

at the Atlanta
federal prison.

Wallace is reportedly armed
and dangerous.

We will interrupt
with further details

as they become available.

Charlene!

What?

Isn't that...

Shadow, your new year's
mystery date?

Let me get
this straight.

You had a date
with an escaped convict?

Well, all he wrote me

was that
he'd be getting out for New Year's.

I kind of assumed
he meant parole.

So, Charlene,

did you tell
your friend Shadow

that you'd be
coming here?

No, when I wrote him,
I told him to meet us at the restaurant.

Oh, that
reminds me.

We left in such a rush,
I forgot to leave him a message.

ALL: Charlene!

What?

Oh, shoot. Shadow
wouldn't hurt a fly.

It is not
the insect population

that we're worried about.

Oh, now,
if you knew him,

if you could
see his face,

you know,
it's downright angelic.

So was
Baby Face Nelson's.

[DOORKNOB RATTLES]

Happy New Year.

What are you doing
snooping around out there?

[SNIFFING] Fuzz.

[SNIFFING]
Feds.

Trust me.
This nose never fails me.

Well. actually,
the gentleman is correct.

There's been
a prison break tonight

and we were
wondering if he was in this neighborhood.

What would give you
that idea?

We know Shadow's
been writing to you, Miss Frazier.

We didn't see him
at the bar tonight

and I was wondering
if he showed up here.

Were you
expecting him to?

Well, quite
frankly,

escaped prisoners
rarely leave

a forwarding
address.

Uh, here's
my card. Now,

if he does call you
or shows up,

please call me
right away.

We won't leave
these women alone

till you catch
this guy.

Right.

Good night.
Hm.

Now, listen, don't
you ladies worry.

I know the psychopathic
mentality of the criminal,

having come up
against it

during my unjustly
accused days.

Their scheming ways.

Their conniving,
devious minds.

In fact, if there is
one common thread,

it's that they're
all unpredictable

and crazy

and trigger happy.

That's it. Nobody
leaves this house tonight.

Oh, now, Julia,
that's unnecessary.

Shadow's a good person.

Didn't you just hear
Anthony say

crazy
and unpredictable and trigger happy?

Well, maybe he meant
that in a positive way.

J.D.: Oh, come on,
throw it.

Don't make
love to it.

Oh, man, that
quarterback is worthless.

Without a doubt,
my two favorite things in the world

are taking down
the Christmas tree

and watching four
football games in one day.

Shoot, I kind of like
watching football

where all those guys
sweat.

It's real masculine
to me.

Of course, I like
the smell of locker rooms, too.

I especially like the way
they slap each other's little behinds

after a really
good play.

But I do think they're
kind of perverted for doing it.

In my opinion,
there's more going on on the football fields

than half the
married bedrooms in America.

Yes! Yes!
Great! Great! No. No. No. No.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]
[ORNAMENT SHATTERS]

I got it.

[RINGING]

Hello.

Yes, Officer. Yes.

Oh, you did, huh?

Good work.

Yes, that'll put
a lot of minds to ease here.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Thank you for calling.

Bye-bye.

Well, they caught
Shadow.

[ALL SIGHING IN RELIEF]

They did?

Oh, Charlene, I know
you feel bad about this,

but believe me,
it's for the best.

Really, I don't know
what possessed you

to invite
an escaped convict

for New Year's Eve
anyway.

He wasn't escaped
when I invited him.

Anyway, he told me
he was doing undercover work.

Well, the Brooklyn
Bridge is sold,

but I can get you
an excellent deal

on the Golden Gate.

Look, Julia,
I know you think

I believe people
too much,

but, I mean,
it's holiday time.

You're supposed
to have faith in your fellow man.

I mean Anthony's
an ex-convict, and we trust him.

Well, listen,
the Cotton Bowl's over

and we got just enough time
before Arkansas creams Oklahoma to get a pizza.

Great idea.
Extra pepperoni.

Arkansas? You've got
to be kidding, man.

The Boz plays
for Oklahoma.

And he is
the greatest

white player
I've ever seen.

Yeah, I'm telling you,

it's gonna be
the Razorbacks by seven points.

No, it'll be the Sooners
by about eight. The Razorbacks!

The Razorbacks!
What's wrong with you?

You've seen Boz's hair.
He paints his hair with...

Kind of makes
the Kennedy-Nixon debates

pale by comparison,
doesn't it?

Well...

maybe I'll call
my kids over at Ted's house

and wish them
a happy New Year.

Mary Jo, that is
the fifth time you have called.

I mean, most families
don't speak that much in a month.

I know.

I'm just not used
to being without them

New Year's day.

And usually we--
we'd sit down

and write our
resolutions.

Well, we could
do that.

Oh, and then we could
read them out loud.

It's Shadow on the TV.
HOST: He's still at large.

An intensive search
is being conducted.

More details at 6:00.

That's impossible,
isn't it?

Well, you know how slow
these news people are to find things out.

I mean, Dan Rather
doesn't know anything

till 7:00.

Come on, Mary Jo.
We're starting.

What if that bulletin
is true?

I wish J.D. And Anthony
would come back.

Oh, now come on.
Let's take your mind off it.

You start, Suzanne.
Okay.

"From now on,
I'm going to pluck my eyebrows differently."

Your turn,
Mary Jo.

"This year,
I'm going to try and be more brazen.

"I'm gonna speak
my mind

"and not worry
so much about pleasing people."

You really think
you can do that?

Well, I won't
if you don't think it's a good idea.

Okay.

"Starting today,

"I'm going to try
to be less judgmental.

"For instance,
Suzanne, I won't automatically assume

"that you won't
date a man

"whose net worth doesn't
exceed J.R. Ewing's."

Okay, my turn.

Let's see. Oh.

"From now on, I'm not
going to just go on and on

"and on and on
with my endless thoughts, you know."

Like I always
think that

Allen Funt's
hidden cameras are everywhere.

You know?
Like, for instance,

when I go to
the grocery store

and I go to buy
a box of cookies,

and I pull one box out,

and the entire huge pile
falls down on the floor

and I want to run
because I'm humiliated.

But I'm always afraid
those cameras are there, so I try to pick them up...

[OBJECT RATTLING]
Charlene. Shh!

Does anybody
hear a noise?

I didn't hear
anything.

I wish
J.D. and Anthony would get back.

I just know
it's those extra pepperonis

that are keeping them.

Now you're
trying to blame my extra pepperonis

for our being murdered?

Oh, now, come on. Calm down.

No one's going to get murdered.

Suzanne, you're next.

Okay.

I'm going to try
different-colored fashion combs

on the right side
of my hair.

Suzanne!

Can't you make
any resolutions

that are more important
than that?

What do you mean
"more important"?

Well, I think what
Julia means is--

is something that would
change your inner self

or maybe
help the world.

Oh, that! Yes, yes.

Oh, I have one of those.
I just haven't read it yet.

Here's one.

Next year,

I'm going to travel to
an underdeveloped nation

and feed starving children.

You are?

Well, I'm not
gonna live there or anything like that.

I'm just going to,
you know, visit occasionally

and come back
before I get one of those

underdeveloped diseases.

Like what?
Like poverty.

You actually
wrote that down?

Well, I didn't
have time to write

the whole thing
out completely.

I abbreviated.

There.

"Et cetera"?

Charlene.

Oh, okay.

"From now on, I'm
going to be less trusting."

Well, I personally
would miss

that trusting
nature of yours.

I have to agree
with Mary Jo, Charlene.

I've always found that

to be one of your
finer qualities.

Well, it can get me
in plenty of trouble.

But you wouldn't be
Charlene

without
that blind faith in others.

Oh, I agree.

Me, too.

[ALL SCREAMING]

Shadow, you made it!

I never break
a promise.

[LAUGHS] I've only
got a minute.

but I wanted
to say goodbye.

Oh, no ,no, no,
come on.

We've got eggnog
and leftover pate.

Charlene, really.
If the man says he's in a rush,

I see no reason
to detain him.

[DOORBELL RINGS]
[ALL GASP]

Well, aren't you going
to answer it?

[ALL SCREAMING]

Well?

Is Shadow here?

I'm over here,
Herb.

Oh, I didn't see you.
[CHUCKLES]

I keep forgetting
that's why they call you Shadow.

Look, we got
to get going.

The local police are
getting pretty close,

so whenever
you're ready,

we'll be in the car.

Happy New Year.

Do you think
that's the way Eliot Ness

would have handled
this situation?

Well, I've got
a new assignment now.

That's why
the bureau staged my breakout.

I told 'em
I had to see you before I left,

and I would have
been here last night,

but the local police
are actually trying to catch me.

Do you mean you actually
are an undercover agent?

Yeah. Didn't
Charlene tell you?

Well, yes, but...

You know,
you really have been a true friend to me.

You never once
forgot to write.

And, uh, that's why
I couldn't leave

without
saying goodbye.

Because I don't know
when I'll be seeing you again.

You know,
Charlene always wrote

how much you all mean
to each other.

And that's a really
special relationship the four of you have.

Hm. Friendship.

I guess that's what
it's all about.

Well,
I better shove off.

Come here, doll.
[CHUCKLES]

Don't ever change.

Here's looking
at you, kid.

I'll miss you.

ALL: Goodbye, Shadow.

You know, Charlene,
your friend is right.

When you think about it,

We're awfully lucky
to have another year together.

I'll pour
the eggnog.

I'll eat the pate.

Suzanne, you know
the one resolution you should've made?

Was what, Julia?

Nothing, Suzanne.
You just eat

all that pate
that you want.

You're
my baby sister,

and you'll always
be beautiful to me.

I love you,
too, Julia.

In fact, I love
everyone in this room.

This is like
a chapter out of Little Women.

To 1987.

The best is yet to come.

ALL: To 1987.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]