All language subtitles for Designing.Women.1993.S01E06.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.H264.AAC-PTerWEB_track3_[eng]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

You're going
to have to go faster, Charlene.

Okay. Okay.
Let me try it again.

Hi. This is Sugarbaker's.

We're just sick
we missed your call.

And if you'd be wonderful
enough to leave your name, number,

and any message
your heart desires,

we'll get right
back to you.

Wasn't that longer
than 10 seconds?

Hmm?

Oh, I'm sorry.
My mind just wandered.

I was trying to figure out
how the Landers sisters got into your body.

Mary Jo! Come on,
be serious. I'm just trying to sound friendly.

Oh, you do sound friendly.

You also sound easy.

Yes, Charlene,
answering machines are to solicit business,

Not sex.
We just want a simple message.

I'm just trying
to give it a little oomph.

An oomph
is completely different from sex.

Anyway, if you don't
like it you try it.

Okay. I'll be
happy to.

Okay, you have ten...

Hello. This is a machine.
You know what to do.

...seconds.

Come on, Julia!
That showed absolutely no creativity.

I think mine was much better.
What do you think, Mary Jo?

Oh, I don't know.
I think that I would hope

for a compromise
somewhere between

Marilyn Monroe
and Clint Eastwood.

Well, here.
You try it.

Oh, no. Not me. No.

I always sound
like a duck on those.

It's a traumatic experience
for me just ordering food

for my kids
at the Jack in the Box.

CHARLENE:
Well, good morning, Suzanne.

What's good
about it?

It's just another morning
like yesterday morning

and the morning
before that.

Take a bath,
do your nails,

watch Wheel of Fortune,

eat candy.

I know what you mean.

It's a grind, isn't it?

It got so bad,
this morning I decided to go

to my health club.

Do you know, Julia,
you ought to join.

They got a special
introductory offer,

and you get your own
private trainer

and free sauna
and massage for a year.

I don't think so.
I hate saunas.

I especially
hate getting naked

and sitting around
looking at all that stuff

that grows on people.

Well, I'm glad to see
you're your usual negative self today.

Now I don't feel bad
that the meeting

with Madeleine Adams
is off.

What do you mean
the meeting is off?

Madeleine Adams
is a very important client.

I know.
I couldn't help myself.

I went to her
birthday party last night,

and you know
how Madeleine is.

She got all hot
and bothered

just because all the men got hot
and bothered over me.

You mean,
Madeleine canceled us

'cause you hogged
all the men at her party?

I swear on a Bible,
someone pushed Ansel and me into that pool.

Who is Ansel?

Madeleine's husband.

The only reason
we only stayed in

was because
the water was so warm.

Suzanne!

How could you?

I didn't do anything
except be myself.

I was bored.

You don't know
how hard it is

to be on the social
merry-go-round.

Look at this.
It never ends.

"Dinner, lunch, lunch,
dinner, lunch, lunch,"

"Brunch, lunch."

I'd like to do more
for Sugarbaker's than just eat.

Well, I say,

if the bib fits...

For your information,
Julia, I do not enjoy eating all that much.

I take all these
lunches and brunches to bring in business.

Well, there's nothing wrong
with enjoying eating, Suzanne.

I ate a pie
last night.

You're kidding.

A whole pie?

Yeah.

What's wrong with that?

Everybody does it
once in a while.

They just
don't admit it.

That's why
I'm fasting on that water.

I saw in Lifestyles
of the Rich and Famous

Lesley Ann Warren
drinks six of those bottles every day

and she looks
12 years old.

You always
do this, Charlene

You always tell some
inconsequential story

just when I'm about
to say something important.

It wasn't inconsequential.
It was a health tip.

Anyway, what
I'm upset about is...

Somebody said something
at the party last night

that made me think,
people might have the impression

I don't know anything
about the decorating business

and that I'm just
a bimbo front person for Sugarbakers.

What did they say?

They said I don't
know anything about the decorating business.

I'm just a bimbo
front person for Sugarbakers.

Who said it?

Madeleine Adams.

The truth is, I'm not taken
seriously around here,

and I am
an equal partner in Sugarbakers

I think that should
count for something.

It does. Your name
is on the door.

That is not enough.

And I am sick and tired
of just being known

as the good-looking
one around here.

I mean
I want to be appreciated

for my abilities
like all of you.

Suzanne, I don't know
why you can't be happy with what you do.

I mean, I'm not a decorator,
but I take pride in being the office manager.

There. That's exactly
my point.

Even you , Charlene,
have a highfalutin title.

I'm the only one around here
who doesn't have a position.

How about first clarinet?

It's just
a little joke.

Suzanne,
I don't mean to seem unkind,

but being a decorator
is just plain, old-fashioned hard work.

And so far,
the hardest work you've ever known

is trying to blow-dry
your hair exactly the way your hairdresser does it.

Now, that
is not true.

Anyway,

I know I don't have
any professional training,

but everybody has
to start somewhere.

And I'm willing
to begin on a trial basis.

What does that mean?
It means I try it.

If I don't like it,
I don't do it anymore.

What do you mean,
"Even Charlene has a title?"

Anthony, where
have you been?

I promised Wilma Hobbs
that you'd be out there

with that chaise lounge
this morning and it isn't here.

If you're going
to make deliveries for Sugarbaker's,

you just can't come
waltzing in here at 10:30!

Can you?

Mary Jo...

...it is Thursday.

Anthony meets
with his parole officer.

Oh!

Oh, I forgot.
I'm so sorry.

Yes. Well, I'm sure
you would have no way of knowing

what a traumatic
experience that is for me.

I mean,
it is upsetting enough to be reminded

of my unfortunate
incarceration,

but then to have to
come in here and endure

a personal attack
on my punctuality...

I'm so sorry.

I--I wasn't thinking.

Yeah.

Well, I'm tired of going
to my parole officer's

all the time, anyway.

I mean,
he always asks me,

"Oh. How are you doing
on your new job, Anthony?"

And I say to him,
"Well, Mr. Farber, I'm hanging drapes."

"I'm working
with chintz and valances"

"and Austrian puffs."

And the dude
just looks at me

like he does not know
what I'm talking about.

I mean, the man
is just so uncouth.

Excuse me, but I don't have
all morning to sit around here

listening
to ex-convict stories.

Are you all going to let me
be a decorator or not?

Oh, all right.

Suzanne, you have
money invested here.

I don't know how
we can stop you.

If this is really
what you want, just jump right in.

In fact, take the next job
that comes through that door.

Do you mean it?
Absolutely.

Julia!
Julia!

Don't worry.

She'll lose interest.

We're talking
about a person

who never finished
anything in her life.

Even when
she was little,

her coloring books
only had the hair filled in.

You just wait.

You're going to have
to eat those words, Julia.

Hey, you're going
to be a decorator?

That's right.

She might be good.

I know it's none
of my business,

but it's been
my experience

that you can never
tell about people.

I mean,
whether they're going to do good or do bad.

I mean, I had three
of the sorriest cell mates you have ever seen.

And do you know,
all three of those dudes

were named
after a president.

You never know,
do you?

That's right.
I'll be taking that out to Miss Hobbs right now.

Thank you
so much, Anthony.

You know, just remember,
the next person through that door is mine.

Well,

there they are,
the eight finest breasts in Georgia.

Oh, it's only Boyd.

Now, is that any way
to talk to a raving heterosexual?

We weren't expecting
other decorators.

Especially one
that's the bearer

of such a tasty
bit of news.

What news?
Oh, just that Sugarbaker's been selected

along with
seven other design firms

to decorate a room
in Design House '86.

Design House?

We've been chosen?
Are you serious?

Well, kiss me
and find out.

I'll take your word.

This is just wonderful!

We never expected
to get to Design House this soon!

I don't
believe it!

Boyd, are you sure
you're not just playing

some cruel
interior-designer joke?

Mary Jo, I promise.

I would never joke
about anything like this.

Well, maybe I would,
but I'm not.

So, congratulations.
Here is the key.

I'll just be taking that,
thank you very much.

Julia said
the next job was my job.

Your job?

Speaking of cruel
interior-designer jokes...

SUZANNE: Can you believe it?

Design house '86,
my very first job as a decorator.

You'll be doing
the master bedroom.

Well, at least
it's her field of expertise.

Suzanne,
we have to talk.

Oh, no, Julia,
you said the next job was my job.

Now, don't be
an Indian giver.

Why don't we try
to discuss this like mature adults?

No. Design House
is all mine and I got it fair and square.

Jack, jack,
no trade back.

Now, what did you
want to say?

Just that you
make me sick.

Julia, let's not
be petty.

After all,
it was your idea.

Congratulations,
Suzanne.

Yeah, ditto.

Well, I've got to run.

I've all those
other firms to notify.

Only wanted to
stop by here first

because y'all
truly are the...

ALL: Eight
finest breasts in Georgia.

Well, at least
in the design business.

Say, Boyd.
What?

Get out.
Right.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Every firm
is responsible

for babysitting
Design House,

and I'm not sure,
but I believe you guys have every Monday.

Any problem
with that?

You mean
actually sleep there?

Yeah.

You know,
just keep an eye on everything.

It's no problem.
I can handle it.

Yeah.

[CHUCKLING]

Well, I'll leave you all
to your champagne.

Forget champagne.

This calls
for whiskey.

ON TV: Turn right,
hold your head all the way back.

Open your mouth.

Relax your chin.

Now say. "Ah. Oh."

Good morning.

Ah. Oh.

Close enough.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm watching that woman
who wrote that book on nonsurgical face-lifts.

Charlene, where's Anthony?

Oh, he went over
to the Design House with that new ottoman.

Oh, shoot. We wanted
to throw those pillows on the back of the truck, too.

Well, I called Suzanne,
but there wasn't an answer.

Oh, yeah. That's right.
Yesterday was Monday.

Well, she's probably
exhausted, you know.

Up all night
patrolling the grounds.

You know,
I never thought I'd see the day

when she would take on
this kind of responsibility.

I know.
You know something else?

It was pretty darn
nice of her to let us

help with the decorating.
She didn't have to do that, you know.

Maybe we've been
too hard on her.

Maybe, but it's not
a happy thought.

Come here. Look.
There's so much you ought to see

these facial exercises.

Do you think
there's any way these could work?

No.
MARY JO: Mm-mmm.

When the time comes,
I'm going to have something done.

No way am I going
to end up sitting in a restaurant

with my neck
hanging in my soup.

You know,
I've often wondered

why we can't
continuously show ourselves

in the most
flattering light,

You know, the way
we light a room.

How would you do that?

Well, you'd have
to wear a harness

With a big spotlight
in the back and candles in the front.

[BEEPING ON TV]
You've given this a lot of thought, haven't you?

[SHUSHING]

Be quiet. Listen.

This is Peter Dunlap,
live from the site

of this morning's
devastating fire

that destroyed
Design House '86.

Suzanne.

According
to chief inspector Bob Badoff,

there were no injuries
or fatalities.

And investigators
are now on the scene

trying to determine
the cause of the blaze.

Oh!

I just can't believe it.

Our very first chance
at decorating at Design House,

and we burn it
to the ground.

We're never going to work again.

You know what they're
going to say about us?

They're going to say
that we're dangerous.

Julia, do you think that was
actually a man under that blanket with her?

Of course, it was a man.

It had on a man's
suit and pants.

It walked like a man,
it looked like a man.

Anyway, Suzanne doesn't know
any women but us.

I can't believe it,

the whole building gone,

a smoking pile of rubble.

What do you think they
were doing in there?

I don't know, but obviously,

it was a little more than
rubbing two sticks together.

Well, it's a miracle
Suzanne wasn't hurt.

Don't you worry.
I will rectify that.

Now, Julia, wait a minute,
we don't have all the facts.

You don't know for sure
that it was her fault.

It has been my experience
that wherever disaster strikes,

Suzanne cannot be far behind.

She has always been
the kind of person

who wrecks cars,
burns holes in the carpeting,

writes phone
messages on furniture.

If she had been
on the Hindenburg,

she would've been
smoking cigarettes.

Anthony,
thank goodness you're here.

We have something
to tell you.

Design House
is gone.

We know.
We heard it on the news.

Did they let you
actually drive right up to it?

I don't think
you all understand.

There is no
it anymore.

The sucker
is gone.

G-O-N-E '86,
over and out.

Here's your
ottoman back.

Did you talk
to the police?

No. I don't much
like hanging around

where stuff
has just disappeared.

Did you see Suzanne?

Uh-uh. I was
moving too fast.

I'll just be
taking this back to the storeroom.

Can you imagine
how horribly humiliating

to be caught on TV
without lip gloss?

You know, Julia,

I bet,
in her own way,

Suzanne feels
even worse than we do.

No, she doesn't.

She'll have some
cock-and-bull explanation

for the whole thing
And then she'll fly off to Barbados.

And in a few weeks,
we'll get one of those,

"Hope you're not
still mad at me" card

with a happy face
stuck on the front!

Now, Julia,
I know Suzanne can be thoughtless,

but I just
don't believe that.

Then you should talk
to Teddy Machenson.

Who is Teddy Machenson?

A friend of mother's.

Suzanne backed over
his dog at a party

and sent him
an autographed picture of herself the next day.

Julia, you're
making that up.

Trust me when
I tell you that this is how she operates.

I mean, she has been
my sister for 30 years.

Twenty-nine!

Oh, I know what
you're thinking and I don't blame you.

Believe me, there isn't
a name you could call me

I haven't already
called myself.

How about dog face?
Julia.

All right, I'll hold off
until I ask this one question.

Are you all right?

I think so.
I'm glad...

...dog face.

Go ahead.
Abuse me. Punish me.

I don't care.

Suzanne, what happened?

I don't want
to talk about it.

I'll just be
cleaning out my desk.

You don't
have a desk.

Good! I didn't
deserve one.

All I want now
is just to fade away

and become
completely incognito.

Then, you'll have
to get rid of the bedspread.

I can't believe
you were on the news.

Did you know
what they were filming you for?

No. I thought
those guys with the cameras

were Japanese tourists.

You don't talk
like yourself anymore.

Being in a fire
has made you clever.

Oh, now, don't try
cheering me up with compliments.

I know who I am.
I know what I did.

And now,
I deserve to die.

How'd my hair look?

Oh, not that bad.

I mean, it was
a little messed up in the back.

Your profile
looked great.

I don't believe this!

Suzanne, you have just
single-handedly

destroyed Design House,

not to mention
Sugarbaker's reputation!

And I think we deserve
a little explanation.

Well, there's not
much to tell, actually, it's all my fault.

See, I was trying
to light a fire in the fireplace.

But I didn't
think it took. But it must have.

Because, I dozed off,
and next thing I knew,

it was just like
a house afire.

She was never
especially good with similes.

Suzanne, who was
that man with you under the blanket?

Clinton Summers.

But he had
nothing to do with it.

I only called him
because I was scared there all by myself.

He was asleep
in the designer kitchen when it happened.

ALL: Mm.

Oh, I don't care if you
believe me or not.

Anyway, you'll have
my resignation

just as soon
as I can borrow an electric typewriter.

Oh, don't be silly,
Suzanne.

You're not
going to quit.

Anyway, we need
your money.

What do I care
about money? I'll be in prison.

What do you mean,
prison?

Did the police
question you?

Of course,
they questioned me!

They're going
to prove negligence.

They'll arrest me
and take me off to one of those institutions

where everything you wear
is gray!

I don't look good in gray!

Oh, Suzanne, that's
not going to happen.

You think I will
look good in gray?

Suzanne could be right.
I mean if they can prove negligence,

there's no telling what kind
of trouble she could be in.

Well, not that you couldn't
talk them into letting you

dye your uniform
any color you want.

Hey. How's it going?

What you been up to?

Seen any
good movies lately?

That's real funny,
Anthony.

Wait. I have
to talk to you.

I don't like
the sound of that.

You've been
in prison, right?

I especially don't like
the sound of that.

Well, I was wondering,
what would you think about saying

that you slept
at Design House last night?

See, it wouldn't be
quite so bad if you went to prison

because you've
already been there before.

Nobody would think
anything about it.

I could send you
a little money every month

and then before
you know it, you'd be out on good behavior.

I don't think so,
but thank you for thinking of me.

What am I going to do?

What am I going to do?
This isn't funny anymore.

I'm in serious trouble.

I don't know about you all
but I can't bear to see her like this.

I mean, she's all...

...humble.

It's like watching
Howard Cosell cry.

Oh, I can't stand it.

Suzanne,

if it'll make you
feel any better,

I'll tell everybody
I was there, too.

Well, what good
would that do?

I don't know, but,
it might confuse them.

I mean it could have
just as easily happened to me.

Oh, Charlene,
that is ridiculous.

You're the most efficient,
well-organized,

responsible person
on earth.

I know, Julia, but...

I mean I--I might have
caused sparks, you know,

by walking across
the carpeting real fast,

Or I might have
had a stroke

and and fallen
and hit my head on a pilot light.

Caught my hair on fire,
Causing me to run from room to room.

Trying to put
myself out.

Thank you, Charlene.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

I'll say I was there, too.

That will really
confuse them.

I think you all
are overestimating this confusion thing.

They're not going
to be confused.

They'll just put
all three of you in jail.

Oh,, Julia,
when we started this business,

we said it was
one for all and all for one.

Yeah, that's right.

And now,
the chips are down.

This is a test

of our--our
determination and strength,

Our unity.

Or maybe not.

I wasn't there,
and I'm not going to say I was.

Oh, all right,

but I think
it's absolutely idiotic.

Oh, you all are
the best friends a girl ever had.

Isn't this sweet?

I feel like we're
on the last episode

of The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

Room for one more?

Now, Boyd,
if you came to point a finger,

you're going
to have to use four.

That's right.
We're all guilty.

United we stand.
Divided we fall. Oh, get off of it.

Everybody in Georgia knows
Suzanne was sitting in Design House last night.

Oh, yeah?
Prove it!

All right, now, look,
what we want to say

is that no matter who was
actually on the premises last night,

it was Sugarbaker's
responsibility, and we're taking it.

All four of us,
not just one.

I just came by to tell you
the cause of the fire was inadequate wiring.

It was nobody's fault.
Are you sure?

I just met with the
Deputy fire inspector.

Oh, that is just...

That's so wonderful.
I mean, I can't tell you what a wreck I was.

I thought it might have
been that swimming suit

that I put in the oven
to dry out, you know.

Or it could have been
when Clinton and I were on the sun porch,

roasting marshmallows
With those little big cigarette lighters.

Suzanne,
be quiet.

It's okay, they know
about the marshmallows.

It was the wiring.

But the really good news
is we were very heavily insured.

Well, that is
wonderful news, Boyd.

I feel like we should
all join hands and sing

a chorus of
We are the World.

Suzanne, were you really
toasting marshmallows

With a cigarette lighter?

Well, yeah.
I told you that.

I couldn't get
the fireplace to work. What's wrong with that?

Suzanne,
if my children had done that,

why they'd be
grounded for a week.

Yes. Well, don't worry.
Suzanne will be grounded a lot longer than that.

Oh, you don't have
to say anything, Julia.

I don't want to be
a decorator anymore.

You don't?
No. You all were right.

I'm not the sort of person
who is cut out for one of those jobs

where you can't
sleep till noon.

Anyway, I realize now
that lunch is my forte,

it's what I do best.

Some of us were born
to be out front.

some of us were born
to be behind the scenes.

Why is it that
all of a sudden

I feel like
the Hunchback of Notre Dame?

I happened to be
one of those out-front people.

So, now I'm going to go home,
take a nice hot bubble bath.

Then-Then after Wheel of Fortune
is over, I'm going to work on my date book.

I've got a better idea.

Why don't I take
all of you out to lunch today?

Um, then we could talk
about my new idea,

Design Armory.

It's not quite the same,
but at least it's fireproof.

That sounds like fun.

Oh, now, hey.
Wait a second here.

New deal is
I stay off of your turf.

You stay off
of mine.

Lunch is my job.

Okay, Boyd, how about
1 o'clock, Chez Nous?

Well, fine.
I was just hoping

to have lunch
with the eight... I know

what you were hoping, Boyd.

But you're just
going to have to settle for the top two.

[♪♪♪]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]