All language subtitles for Designing.Women.1993.S01E03.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.H264.AAC-PTerWEB_track3_[eng]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

CHARLENE:
Now, Walter, I'm sorry your fraternity slave week

didn't net any money,
but I can understand some of the black guys

not wanting to participate.

The fact is
you and your brothers

still owe us
for three Herculon sofas.

Oh, come on!
How can I make you guys a loan?

I'm the office manager.

Well, and wait, even if I did,

I expect to be paid
back in 30 days.

Oh, all right.
All right.

I don't know why I'm doing this
except you remind me of my baby brother.

He's also incorrigible
and lives in filth.

All right.
30 days, Walter.

I'm going way out
on a limb here.

Don't you let me down.
Okay. Bye-bye.

Charlene, did you call
those fraternity boys yet?

Yeah, and I hated doing it.

You know, they're
the poorest fraternity on campus.

They're the guys
all the other houses rejected.

Yeah. Everybody else
has got those

Gone with the Wind
columns.

They got split-level.
It'll break your heart.

Not paying their bill
will break my heart.

Well, that's 'cause
you haven't been out there

like Charlene and me.

They're kind
of a combination

of foreign exchange students

and the guys in high school

who were always president
of the science club.

Nobody is ever going
to go out with them,

but that doesn't keep them
from wearing their little Bruce Springsteen t-shirts,

drinking beer, and screaming
"Raise hell," all day long.

I maintain that if
they're old enough to order furniture,

they're old enough
to pay for it.

Oh, not necessarily.

I remember
when I was eight,

I got out the
Montgomery Ward catalog.

I ordered my parents
a complete new dinette set,

a miniature ping-pong table

and a toolshed.

Boy, were they mad.

Charlene, that is
so unlike you.

You've always been such
a responsible person.

To this day I still can't
figure out why I did it.

It was this kid
who sat next to me in second grade.

Just, kind of,
toyed with me all the time.

Never knew
where I stood.

Finally, I just went crazy.

And, that's when
you ordered the dinette set?

Uh-huh.

I can understand that.

Sometimes it frightens me

that you two
have found each other.

I have just had
one of my worst mornings of my life.

First, I pull
into one of those self-serve gas deals.

But, I don't know
how to stick that little thingamajig in there.

Fortunately, there was
this housewife with a van full of screaming kids

who agreed to do it for me.

So, as I'm leaving,
I give her a quarter,

And what does she give me?

The bird!

Can you believe it?

And to top it
all off, I find out

my cleaning lady
is not coming in today.

Incredible story.

Let us never criticize

until we have walked
a mile in those pumps.

What's the matter with Flora?

Oh, I don't know,

she's hemorrhaging
or something,

And here I am planning
a dinner party for all of us Friday night.

No, no. Please,
I beg of you. Not another one.

You are incapable
of hiring decent help.

Is that so?
Well, for your information,

I have just employed
a full-time housekeeper

through a local agency.

As a matter of fact,
she's arriving today.

I'm told she's
a perfectly lovely woman.

Where is she
arriving from?

I don't know.
One of those little countries

where they're
always having trouble.

She would've
been here sooner,

but they had an outbreak
of something on the boat.

Now all her animals
are in quarantine.

And you believe that?

That is the oldest
excuse in the world.

Charlene,

my guest of honor
is this wonderful man

I met at
a charity benefit last night.

His name is Mason Dodd,
as in Mason Dodd imports.

Yeah?
His family is just rich, rich, rich,

But he went out
and made another fortune on his own.

And the best part is

I've got him interested
in giving us merchandise on consignment,

plus anything we want
for ourselves

at 25% off wholesale.

I'm talking
Baccarat crystal

and the best
Chinese porcelain.

So? I collect thimbles.

Why are you
getting in my face?

Well, because you're
going to be Mason's date. Oh, no. Just a minute.

If he's so wonderful,
you'd be going out with him yourself.

Well, he didn't ask me.

As my first husband,
Dash Goff, the writer, used to say,

"There are some
mountains so majestic,

"even brave men
dare not approach."

He was also the one
who drank, wasn't he?

No, I'm sorry. There's
something fishy here.

Besides, I've been
fixed up before. It never works.

Ladies, hope I'm
not interrupting.

Mason Dodd,
you sweet man,

Get in here.

You're wonderful
to come all this way just for me.

Well, I felt
I had to

after you threatened
to kill yourself.

I--I asked Mason
to come and take a look at our inventory,

so he can get
an idea of the kind of merchandise we carry.

And, of course, he's going
to let us order things for ourselves, too.

Uh, Mason,

that's my sister, Julia.

That's Mary Jo,

And this...

...is Charlene.

Hi.
There's a rumor going around

that Suzanne is going to try
to force you to have dinner with me.

Oh, well,
she did mention something.

I can tell
by the look on your face

she forgot
to mention my height.

What's wrong
with your height?

It's too low
for my width.

Don't tell me
you didn't notice.

No. I noticed.

Well, I for one
think you two are absolutely perfect together.

Mason, why don't you
take her to lunch get to know her better?

Oh, it's a great idea,
Suzanne. Why don't you ask her for me?

Well, I don't know.

I'm pretty tied up this week.

Well, now, whatever
you have, I'll cover.

How about tomorrow?

You don't have
anything tomorrow.

I don't? That's right,
I don't.

Thank you, Suzanne.
I'll return this favor.

Say, 12:30, Gallagher's.

Look, Charlene,
here's my card.

Something comes up
and you can't make it,

just give me a call.

Mr. Dodd, I know
the inventory

so much better
than Suzanne.

Don't you want
to let me show you the back room?

Why don't you do that
and that'll give them a chance to talk.

Suzanne!
Suzanne!

Okay, okay,
he's a little over weight.

Now, he showed up before
I had a chance to mention it.

"A little over weight?"
This man could be used for public housing.

I mean is this what you
think of me, this is who I would be perfec t for.

Okay, I made a mistake.

Well, the truth is I know
I'm too superficial to go out with someone like that.

But, I always thought
that you had the depth and sensitivity

to appreciate a man
for what he has inside, his soul.

Actually, Charlene has never
been all that big on souls.

Well, I'm going to keep
his card, I'll call him later and cancel.

I don't want
to do it now. It's too soon.

I might hurt
his feelings.

What?
His card. It says,

"Help, please
call police."

"I've been swallowed
by a fat guy."

Well, I guess
I could have lunch.

I mean,
it's not like dinner.

It would be just once,

and that's absolutely it.

Hello?

Is this Alpha Tau Epsilon?

Walter Newkirk, please.

Walter.

Mary Jo,
over at Sugarbaker's.

Look,

not a good move

leaving the couches
in the alley behind the store.

You see,
our basic policy is, Walter,

that once something
has been thrown up on,

you can't return it.

Look, Walter,
I can't really talk right now,

but I'm sending
a little money along

and I want you
to use this money

as a payment
on these sofas.

Now, this is just a loan
between you and me,

and I expect
to be paid back

right after you have
winter carnival, okay?

Okay!

And that check
better be here next week or else.

And now, here is
Julia Sugarbaker,

who would also like
a word with you.

Don't be too rough
on them, Julia. They're just kids.

I know. I know,
I have a son in college.

Hello, Mr. Newkirk.
Julia Sugarbaker here.

Basically, we're upset

because you boys
returned these sofas to us,

which, if I may
speak candidly,

are not fit to grow
Penicillin on.

And while it is
not my business to speculate

on what heinous acts
they've been subjected to,

I'm sure it was
far worse than anything

Samsonite ever had
to endure.

That, however,
shall remain

between you
and your chaplain.

The bottom line is
I expect payment in full within 10 days.

Well, your parents
should have taught you more responsibility.

Julia.
What?

Walter's parents
were killed in a car accident.

I know other orphans,

and they still manage
to pay their bills.

Walter is saving
for his brother's prosthesis.

Would you excuse us
a minute, Mr. Newkirk?

There are other boys
in this fraternity, are there not?

Yes.

Three from Ethiopia.

Mary Jo, I'd like to finish
this conversation in private.

Could you please wait
in the storeroom?

Yes. I'd like to go.

Just call me
when you're through.

Hello, Mr. Newkirk
there's been a slight change in plan here.

A late-breaking
bulletin, as it were.

I've decided
to divide your payment

into four installments.

Now, I'm going
to make you a loan for the first one.

With interest.

Then you will send
your payment to Charlene.

Now, this will be
our little secret.

Oh, you boys
are having a carnival.

You know, in my day,

we found
the big moneymaker was a kissing booth.

I see. I didn't realize
kissing was passé.

No. I don't think
that kind of booth would be appropriate.

Never mind.
Goodbye, Walter.

Mary Jo, you can
come out now.

I know you think
I'm heartless,

but sometimes in business
you just have to be.

Anyway, I think
we'll be seeing a check next week.

Good.

You know, it's crazy,

but I have
the same feeling.

Hi.

Well, we certainly
had ourselves

another long lunch
today, didn't we?

Long lunch
is the only kind you have with Mason.

Anyway, we went
to Stropfeller's. They take forever.

Oh, I can't eat there.

Something about
those desserts going around in that glass case.

Revolving food
just makes me sick.

You know, the more
I'm with Mason,

the more things I love
about him.

I mean, I don't think
anybody has ever made me laugh so much.

Except maybe you.

You know, just makes me mad
that some people

can't get past
the fact that he's...

You know...
Fat?

Yeah. And, I guess,
I'm just glad I'm not one of those people.

Yeah.

To think, a week ago,
I didn't even know him.

Now I'm...

I'm just the happiest
I've ever been.

Charlene, I just think
you're being too hard on yourself.

You can't help
the way you feel.

Yeah, but Mason deserves
to be with someone who is

not embarrassed by him.

Anyway, I'm beginning
to like him too much.

I mean, I could get serious.
And I just don't know if I can handle that.

Does Mason know
you're embarrassed?

Well, he's beginning
to sense it.

We go out,
I do everything short of wearing a ski mask.

I mean, come on,
how would you like to always be known

in restaurants
as a party of six?

It's awful.
People stare.

You can feel them
sort of tense up and guard their food.

Well, it seems to me
that the main thing is

that you're just
not attracted to him.

That's the crazy part.

I am!

I just can't get to him.

I mean, I can't even get my...

I can't begin to think how...

I'm gonna be like...

I'm getting a picture.

But I can't
find you in it.

Have either of you ever...

No.
No.

I did ride
an elephant once at the Kenya club.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I just... It just
popped into my mind.

I mean, it's not
like he saw me off at the airport.

The bottom line is
it's just not going to work

and I have to tell Mason.

Hello, ladies.

I just stopped by
on my way home from the market

to make sure
we're still on for dinner.

You went
to the market?

What's happened
to your maid?

Oh, Consuela is home, cooking.

And for your information,
she's going to work out fine.

But she does have a couple
of little idiosyncrasies.

Actually, it's
kind of cute.

She just learned
how to say "boo."

It seem they don't
have the "boo" word in her country,

so every time
I walk into a room

there she is,
crouched behind the door yelling it.

Well, actually,
screaming is more like it.

I guess it is
getting on my nerves just a little.

Suzanne, I'm sorry.
I don't think I'm going to be able to come tonight.

Well, of course
you're coming.

You're Mason's date.
He's the guest of honor.

Suzanne, Charlene
has decided to break off with Mason.

And I don't think
she has to keep a date with him

just so you can get
yourself service for 40 in Baccarat crystal.

Exactly what
are you trying to say?

Well, I think
what she is trying to say

is that you're
sort of an interior decorating pimp.

Well, that's just the most
insulting thing I've ever heard.

Oh, Charlene, please
don't let me down tonight,

you don't know
the trouble I've gone to.

Oh, all right,
I'll come.

But afterwards,
Mason and I have got to be alone to talk.

No problem.

And you won't
be sorry.

This evening is just
going to be wonderful.

Consuela's brother is
a gourmet meat packer,

and he's slaughtering
something special for us.

I can't put
my finger on it,

but something
about this doesn't bode well.

MARY JO: Well, I'll tell you
what I resent is how the TV

and movies
always show

Southerners
to be so stupid.

And, have you noticed
the women are always these oversexed loons,

sitting around in a satin slip

and no air conditioning?

That reminds me
of that story about the Southern woman

who goes to this
la-di-da cocktail party in New York City.

She turns to
a Northern woman

and she says,
"Where y'all from?"

The Northern woman
looks at her and says,

"We are from
where we don't end our sentences"

"with a preposition."

So the Southern woman
looks at her and says,

"Oh. Well, then,
where y'all from..."

"...bitch?"

You--You didn't think
that was funny?

No. Sure, I did.

It's just that
fat people are always so Jolly.

It's hard to tell
when we're laughing.

I don't know but there's
something about being from the South that is different.

Someone was asking me
just the other day,

"Suzanne, what do you suppose
it is that makes Southerners so splendidly unique?"

Oh, come on,
who was asking that?

I don't know, Julia,
but someone was.

Julia, Suzanne tells me
you were a Tri Delt at Chapel Hill

maybe you knew my sister.
I doubt it.

I was kicked out
for not wearing a girdle on campus.

Well, you're kidding.

So was I.

Well, I think
I'll just go check

and see what's
holding up the main course.

Excuse me.

CONSUELA: Boo!
[OBJECTS CLATTERING]

SUZANNE:
Consuela, you've got to stop that!

CONSUELA: Ha ha ha!
I scare you! I scare you!

SUZANNE: That's my blouse!

CONSUELA:
Get your filthy hands off me!

[FAINT SCREAMS]

I think I have
some chiclets in here

if anybody
would care for one.

Well, it's 9:15.
I'm going to have to call my babysitter.

Good idea.
Maybe she can bring some food over.

It's just going to be
a few more minutes.

Consuela is taking
the thermometer

out of the lamb
right now.

Oh, I certainly hope
he hasn't caught a fever.

Julia, I'm doing
the best I can.

She threatened me
with a knife.

It was just
a little knife,

but still...

More gazpacho anyone?

I'll have some.

Oh, you don't
have a bowl.

Oh, this one's fine.

At home, I just
use a trough. Mason...

Sorry, Charlene,
I forgot you don't like trough Jokes.

See, but I feel
they lighten the mood,

especially when
the food runs out.

People get around
a guy like me

they get nervous
I might eat them.

Guess you're mad 'cause
I called you in here,

and now you're
missing dessert.

No.

I'm relieved.

For the first time
in my life,

I don't want dessert.

You know, I've never
seen lamb with an apple in its mouth before.

I've never seen anyone
put himself down the way you do

and enjoy it so much.

You like embarrassing me,
don't you?

No.

I guess it's just my way
of sending you a message.

Okay, what's the message?
Send it direct.

I think maybe it would be best
If we don't see each other anymore.

Let me get this straight.

You're saying you think
it might be best

if we don't see
each other anymore?

That's what
it sounded like. Yeah.

Look, Charlene,
I like you a lot,

but because
of my upbringing,

I require certain things
I don't think you could give me.

Such as?
Such as, I come from money, and you don't.

That's a gap
that's hard to bridge.

The few times
we've been out with my friends, I...

...felt uncomfortable.
How?

It doesn't matter.

It's a basic difference
in education and lifestyle.

Oh, I see.
Well, I'm sorry I wasn't born

with a serving spoon
in my mouth.

Silver spoon.

I know. I was
making a Joke.

Oh, touché.

Well,

it seems like
we've hit a nerve here.

Let me see
if I've got this straight.

You can feel
ashamed of me,

but I can't have
any feelings about your inadequacies?

Is that the way it works?
How do you know I'm ashamed of you?

Being fat doesn't
make you dense.

Yeah, well, I just like to know
who you think you are breaking up with me

when I didn't want
to go out with you in the first place.

As a matter of face,
I think you get down on...

On my hands and knees
and give thanks

that a girl like you
would go out with someone like me?

No.

I didn't mean that.

Charlene, look...

I've never
been embarrassed by you, either.

I made that up.

Then why did
you say that?

I just wanted you
to know how it feels.

It hurts, doesn't it?

You don't really think
I'm dumb, do you?

You're like a fox.

Don't ask for
any more compliments.

I'm still mad at you,
and it puts a strain on my art.

Oh, Mason.

The truth is...

I just adore you.

I--I think you're sweet
and fun and...

Sexy.

Very sexy.

I do.

I know
that sounds crazy.

I don't think
it sounds crazy.

Sex is all up here,
anyway, you know.

Well, it's not
all up there.

Charlene...

...if it hurts us
this much,

I can lose the weight.

I just don't want it
to be a requirement.

Can you understand that?

Yeah, I think so.

I'd like a chance
to do better.

I'd like a chance
to be thinner.

Can you forgive
the feelings I have?

I do all the time
in my fantasies.

You fantasize about us?

Oh, yeah.

What are we doing?

Well, sometimes, um...

You don't have
any clothes on.

And what are you doing?
[DOORBELL CHIMING]

I don't know.
I'm never looking at me.

Well, I just
can't believe this.

I mean,
I get roses all the time,

but usually
not after ten o'clock.

Well, read the card.
Who are they from?

"Here are some red roses
for a sweetheart of a lady."

"You know who you are."

"Love,"

"the men of
Alpha Tau Epsilon."

And there's a check.

For the full amount
of the sofas.

How could they send
the full amount?

They haven't even had
their winter carnival yet.

You see, Mary Jo,

it pays to be tough.

[DISTANT SINGING]

♪ If you were the only girl ♪

♪ In the world... ♪

Can you believe this?

When I was in college,
this used to happen every night,

But I don't think
I recognize any of these people.

Suzanne,
what makes you think all this is for you?

Of course,
it's for me, Julia.

Who else
would it be for?

♪ We could go on loving ♪

♪ In the same old way ♪

♪ A Garden of Eden... ♪

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]