All language subtitles for Designing.Women.1993.S01E02.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.H264.AAC-PTerWEB_track3_[eng]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[♪♪♪]

Charlene: Well, then,
can you tell me...

But I thought
they were going to make a decision.

I see. Well,
maybe if I call back in a few...

Will you call me,
then? All right.

Thank you
very much.

What was that
all about?

I don't know.

Did Rudy or Marcel
call about the pink valences?

No, not yet.

Actually, that was
my cosmetics company.

Charlene, for the life of me,
I cannot understand

why you like selling
that stuff on the side.

I mean, it's not like you make
all that much extra money,

and having those
little make-over demonstration parties

in other peoples' homes
is beyond me.

Well, Julia, that's you.
This is me.

I happen to enjoy it.

Just this morning
I met a woman at Carl's Jr.

with a pore problem.

Tonight I'm going
over to her house and close them off.

Something wrong?

Oh, it's nothing.

I just heard today's date
on the car radio.

I thought my birthday
was next week.

Now I find out it's Friday.

Boy, I knew this was
gonna happen.

You're depressed
about the big 3-0, aren't you?

No, Julia,
I'm not depressed about the big 3-0.

I'm depressed
about the big 2-9.

Suzanne, I don't
want to seem unkind,

but I am your sister,
remember?

I know when you were born
and you're going to be 30.

I most certainly
am not.

If you don't believe me,
ask Mother.

Why would I ask Mother?
She lies about her age, too.

Well, that's
pretty strong talk

from someone
who throws herself

an alleged 40th
birthday party every year.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

I'll get it.

Sugarbaker's.

Yes, this is she.

Oh, you're kidding?

Oh, that's wonderful!
Oh, I'm so excited.

I'll tell her right away.

Okay. Thank you very much.

Guess what.

I don't know.
Oh, come on, just guess!

Oh, Charlene, please.
You always do this.

I can't guess. There are
too many possibilities.

Life, death, birth,
infinity. Just tell me.

Oh, all right.

Kemper Cosmetics
has been looking for someone

to sponsor them
in the Miss Pre-teen Atlanta contest,

And they just
found her.

I should have guessed.

I would have
gotten that one.

Oh, Mary, chill.

It's Claudia.

My Claudia?
Yes!

Oh, I was going to ask
your permission,

but I thought,
"No, let it be a surprise."

So I went ahead
and I submitted her picture and bio,

and they want
to sponsor her. Isn't that fantastic?

Oh, what's the matter?
You aren't excited.

Well, I...

I appreciate
the gesture, Charlene, but...

I don't believe
in beauty contests.

What do you mean
you don't believe in them?

They exist.
They're on TV!

I mean...

I don't like them.

I feel like they--they...

They exploit people,

and they promote
the wrong kind of values.

And it's just
not something I'd want my daughter involved with.

But I really appreciate
you thinking about her.

Well, I for one,
am sick and tired

of everyone
always talking about

how beauty pageants
exploit women.

I love every one
of my crowns.

And being
Miss Georgia World

was the finest moment
of my life.

Nobody had to force me

to walk
down the runway in that swimsuit.

I did it
with my head held high.

You had to. The stays
in that bra were so big,

If you looked down,
you would have gouged yourself to death.

Mary Jo, I just
can't believe you feel this way.

Well, I'm sorry,
but I agree with her.

I especially loathe
those pageants

where the women
come out in their bathing suits

and they plaster
those ratings across the front of them.

That is so degrading.

Isn't that
the worst?

It's like some sort
of breast-athon at the Olympics.

They'll have this
gorgeous creature come out

with these humongous...

and, right, superimposed
across the front of her body

will be a giant score,

like 9.6.
That's out of ten.

Then they'll bring out
this anemic little, bird-like creature

who probably
plays the oboe,

and she'll be there
in her native costume,

you know,
with a big grin on her face.

Underneath the grin
it will say 4.6.

I mean, it is
just so painful,

I want to run to my phone
and call her up and say,

"Honey, wipe that smile
off your face and take a look at that monitor,

"because they are making
a complete fool out of you."

I don't think
there's anything wrong with rating them.

Anyway, look at
all the good things pageants do.

They provide
opportunities and scholarships...

But look at the degradation

that the women
have to go through to get them.

I--I say it's a lot easier
just to do your homework.

That's right!
And if pageants are so all-fired wonderful,

why don't they
have them for men?

Why aren't Bob
and Frank and Ted out there

flexing their little
tushies for tuition?

I'll tell you why Bob
and Frank and Ted aren't out there.

Because Bob
and Frank and Ted have got better sense.

What are you saying?
That men are smarter than women?

About this they are.

Well, I certainly
don't know any man

who would go
on national television and reveal...

His most vital statistics?

Certainly not for the purpose
of being compared to other men.

Can you imagine the angst
in that auditorium?

I bet they would shrivel up
and die in the isolation booth?

Well, I think you two
are completely overreacting.

We're talking about
beauty pageants here,

not Playboy magazine.
There's a big difference.

Only in degrees.

The beauty pageants just
throw in these scholarships

to make it look like
it's not a beauty contest.

And Playboy
throws in Jerry Falwell

and the President
of the United States

as an excuse
to show centerfolds.

But it's the same
double standard.

If Hugh Hefner
truly thinks

that being
publicly spread-eagled is so fantastic,

how come we haven't
seen his little wahoo

with a staple in the middle?

Is it just me,
or have we gotten off track here?

I'm sorry.
You're right, Charlene.

We're getting
carried away.

I know it.
When I get started, I just can't stop.

Julie, your just like mother

Remember when Daddy used
to have to take her purse and hit her in the head.

Those were fun times,
weren't they?

Charlene...
Mm-hmm.

I know you have
Claudia's best interests at heart,

but it's just
not something that I want her to do.

You understand?

Yeah, I do.
I just hope Claudia will.

Oh, that's no problem.

I'll just
never mention it.

Too late.

What?
Well, she is the one who gave me the pictures.

Why not?

Because it's just
not something

that I want
you to do!

I just don't see how
it could hurt for me

to be in
Miss Pre-teen Atlanta!

Claudia, a few weeks ago,
you had not even heard

of Miss Pre-teen Atlanta...

Quint, is there
something you need?

I need some
toilet paper.

I'm changing
all the rolls.

Is it just
a coincidence

that you
always do this right at bedtime?

You have any
chewing gum?

Not a proper response.

Go to bed.

I'll tuck you in
in a minute.

Okay, look, I'll make
a deal with you.

If you let me be in
Miss Pre-teen Atlanta,

I promise I won't make

anything below a "B"
this semester.

And I'll clean
my room everyday.

Do you want it
that bad?

Yes! Look, you always say
you'll never get anywhere

if you're not willing
to stick your neck out.

Honey, these
beauty contests are brutal.

I mean, look,
I just think that you are the prettiest,

most special daughter
ever born,

but these other
contestants,

they're hard-core
professionals.

And you are
just an amateur.

Look, I've lost
to things before. I can take it.

Okay.

But if I let you do this,
I want you to remember

that these
are not our values.

I understand,
and I promise.

Because the way
that a person looks is not important.

It's what
they are inside.

Everything else
is just superficial.

And certainly not
something that

we'd want to spend
a lot of time on.

And now we have
the names of our five finalists,

one of whom
will be crowned

Miss Pre-teen Atlanta
tomorrow night.

And to read those names

is the current
Miss Georgia World,

Marjorie Lee Winnick!

Thank you, Dan.

Thank you.

As I call the names,

I would like
for each finalist to come on stage.

Number one.

Sponsored by
U-tan-it Sun parlors,

And look at that tan,
Mary Lynn McPheters.

Can you believe that?
I thought her nose was a little long.

Number two.

Sponsored by
City Light and Water,

Joy Ann Giffons.

Oh, please!
You can see her gums when she smiles.

Number three.

Sponsored by
Sea Boss Chicken,

Jennifer Lynn Weeks.

Oh, please!
Did you see the hips on her?

She could haul
grain to market.

Mary Jo!

I'm sorry.
I don't know what's come over me.

Number four.

Sponsored by
Ed's Party and Sick Room Supplies,

Nancy Jane Whoopers.

I'm not saying a word.

And finally,

number five.

Sponsored by Kemper Cosmetics,

Claudia Marie Shively.

Yes! Yes!
[SCREAMING]

We won! We won!
Claudia is a finalist!

Well, little mother,
what do you think of beauty contest now?

[WHOOPING]

Only try it again
and see if you can hold

your shoulders back
a little more.

Pretend there's
a board up your spine.

Life is hard enough.

Why would anyone
want to pretend that?

Oh, Julia, please.

If you don't
take it seriously,

how can we expect
Claudia to?

No, Charlene,
Julia is right.

I mean, I think
as long as Claudia is going to do this,

we ought to keep it
in the spirit of fun

and having a good time.

Well, we certainly
can't use any of these shoes. She needs heels.

Heels?
I don't wear heels yet.

You do now.
You need the height.

Trust me, short people
never win a pageant.

I'm not short.
I'm average.

I know, sweetheart,

but we want to be
better than average.

Okay. Now turn.

Very slowly.
That's it.

And just when you get
your back to the judges,

cock your head to one side
and give them a look.

Like this.

Only don't overdo it,
or they'll resent it.

Just a touch
of "come hither."

Wa-Wa-Wait a minute.

"Come hither."

She's 12 years old.

Don't you think
that's a little strong.

I mean, I think
something like...

"Hello, sir, nice to make
your acquaintance" is much more appropriate.

Mary Jo I haven't won 11 titles
just "Whistling Dixie."

Believe me, I know,
what I'm talking about.

Okay.

Don't do too much.

I just said that.

Okay, just a little bit
more colors on the cheeks.

And a little bit
around the eyes.

This is so exciting.
I was depressed about my birthday,

but this pageant
has just got my juices flowing again,

like the old days.

And tomorrow night,
I'm going to...

She is going to take
that auditorium by storm.

All right, now, Honey,
don't forget to smile,

that's the one thing
they always take off points for.

But not that
phony little smile

like Miss City Light
and Water.

You know, it's kind
of hard to smile all the time and mean it.

Smart girl.
Better watch out,

they deduct points
for that, too.

That's funny,
Aunt Julia.

Thank you, darling.

And as far as I'm concerned,
that smile is good anytime.

And what's wrong
with Miss City Light and Water?

I thought
she was nice.

It's nothing.
I just...

I just thought
her lips looked fake.

I mean they were puffy.

I think she was
on steroids.

Claudia Shively?

Here.

You're up next.
Are you almost ready?

She is more than ready.

She is magnificent.

Oh, are you the mother?

Are you kidding?

Marjorie, I am
Suzanne Sugarbaker,

Miss Georgia World 1976.

I think we met
at this year's pageant.

Oh, yes.
I remember you now.

You're the one
whose talent was twirling the baton.

That's right.

How did you remember that?

Because nobody twirls
the baton anymore.

I just thought it was a hoot.

Oh, Charlene, this
is Debbie Hammonds,

Miss U-tan-it's mother.

Oh, how do you do?

And this is
her other daughter Stacy Nicole.

She's in the
Little Miss Peach contest down the hall.

You're absolutely adorable.

Can I fix you up
one of these hot dog?

No, thank you.
It might ruin my lipstick.

Everyone thinks
she looks just like Jessica Lange.

Go ahead, honey.
Show them your Jessica Lange.

Oh, my goodness.
Very nice.

Hurry up, Suzanne,

we're going
to miss Claudia.

Okay. I'm just
touching up.

She's right, you know?

Nobody does twirl
the baton anymore.

You know
what I am, Julia?

I'm an aging
professional beauty queen.

And turning...

...29 tomorrow

has made me admit
for the first time

I have no other talent.

Oh, come on.
That's not true.

Yes, it is.

This is what I spent
my whole life doing.

I know in my heart
it's been a frivolous thing,

but, I'm not like you.

You can do anything.

This is all
I was born for.

From the time
I was a little girl,

whenever I'd see
a tiara, I'd just start to breathe hard.

And all I could think was,

I want that crown
to be on my head.

I'll never forget
walking down those runways.

The way
the roses felt in my arms

and the roar
of the crowd.

They loved me.

Now it's all over,
and I...

I just don't know
if life can ever be that good again.

Who was that?

Suzanne Sugarbaker.

Don't you
remember her? No.

Miss Georgia World '76?

Oh, yeah.
The one with the big hair.

Right. And the joke was
they found Jimmy Hoffa in it.

Do you know
she actually showed up at this year's pageant

and gave a two-hour
lecture on manners, cuss words,

and how not
to cross your legs.

No. No!
Yes.

Yes, it was so embarrassing.

Then, I have
another daughter

who looks
just like Vanna White

on Wheel of Fortune.

Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.

So, we stay
pretty busy

with the pageant circuit
most of the year.

Oh.
Yeah.

Better get her back.

Nice meeting you.

That's amazing,
isn't it?

One daughter
looks like Vanna White,

this one
looks like Jessica Lange.

So, tell me this...

How come
she looks like Lorne Greene?

Exactly.

Is it my imagination,

or have we become
two of the nastiest human beings

left on Earth?

Maybe we should
go back out.

They're on
the last interview.

Excuse me.

Aren't you
Marjorie Lee Winnick,

the current
Miss Georgia World?

Why, yes, I am.

I'm Julia Sugarbaker,

Suzanne Sugarbaker's
sister.

I couldn't help
overhearing

part of
your conversation.

Well, I'm sorry.
I didn't know anyone was here.

Yes, and I gather
from your comments

there are a couple
of other things you don't know, Marjorie.

For example,
you probably didn't know

that Suzanne was
the only contestant in Georgia pageant history

to sweep every category
except congeniality.

And that is not something
the women in my family aspire to anyway.

Or that when she walked
down the runway in her swimsuit,

five contestants
quit on the spot.

Or that when she emerged
from the isolation booth

to answer the question,

"What would you do
to prevent war?"

She spoke so eloquently
of patriotism, battlefields,

and diamond tiaras,
grown men wept.

And you probably
didn't know, Marjorie,

that Suzanne was not
just any Miss Georgia.

She was
The Miss Georgia.

She didn't twirl
just a baton,

that baton was on fire.
Look that...

And when she
threw that baton into the air,

it flew higher,
further, faster

than any baton
has ever flown before,

Hitting a transformer

and showering
the darkened arena with sparks!

And when it finally
did come down, Marjorie,

my sister caught
that baton.

And 12,000 people
jumped to their feet

for 16 and one half minutes
of uninterrupted, thunderous ovation

as flames illuminated
her tear-stained face.

And that, Marjorie,

just so you will know,

and your children
will someday know,

is the night
the lights went out in Georgia.

I'm sorry.
I didn't know.

Well, now you do.

My mother says
these pageants

put value
on the wrong things.

But she's been acting
pretty funny herself lately.

Anyway, she's always
taught me to be exactly who I am.

So, here goes.

The truth is,

I don't usually
look like this.

And I don't
want to be Jane Pauley.

I want to be
a professional dancer like in Las Vegas.

I didn't say that before

because I didn't think
it would make a very good answer.

And I don't think
I belong in this contest,

because I don't know
what being Miss Pre-teen Atlanta means.

And I think
it should be won by someone who does.

Thank you very much.

♪ 29 candles ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

♪ Make a... ♪

A pretty...
I don't know.

Pretty smile.
Wait. I have another one.

♪ Happy, happy birthday,
Suzanne ♪

[HUMMING OUT OF TUNE]

Ta-da.

What is this?

It's your
birth certificate.

I found it in an old
cedar chest at home.

Well, there's
no date on it.

I know.
Mine is the same way.

That was mother's gift
to us.

Look at how old she was
when you were born.

Thirteen?

According to this,
mother is now a year younger than me.

That rascal.

Well, I don't know
about you all,

but I've got
to get this girl home to bed.

Oh, wait.
I almost forgot.

I have a present
for Claudia.

Oh!

Oh, Suzanne,
it's beautiful.

But I can't
accept this.

I didn't
do anything to deserve it.

Yes, you did.

You showed
class and courage. That's right.

Besides, this one
never looked that good on me, anyway.

Thank you.
What I want to know is how'd you get so much older and wiser

than the rest of us?

Excuse me,
I still have to live with this person.

And even though
you may not be Miss Pre-teen Atlanta,

as far as
daughters go,

I think I got
the top of the line.

Good night.

Come on, you two.

I just have
one more thing I want to say.

I love my daughter.

I love everyone
in this room.

And I still think
Miss City Light and Water is on steroids.

Good night!

Bye-bye.

Well, I guess
I should be going home, too.

Just don't fool with
any of this stuff.

We'll clean it up
in the morning.

Good. I'm kind of tired.

You can just
pile all my presents up there in the corner.

I know.

Drive carefully.

I will.

Julia.

Yeah.

Thanks.

For what?

Being my big sister.

Happy birthday.

I still say 30.

SUZANNE: Twenty-nine!

["ISN'T SHE LOVELY" PLAYING]