All language subtitles for Designing.Women.1993.S01E01.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.H264.AAC-PTerWEB_track3_[eng]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Well, I'm not just
the office manager,

I'm the office manager.

I'm sure we can get
those recliners in naugahyde for you.

About four to six weeks.

Well, we raise our
little naugs on a ranch.

We have to wait till
they're weaned.

Oh, good, you have
a sense of humor.

All right, Mr. Dalton.
Thank you.

Charlene, you're just never
going to believe it!

I mean, I had no idea!

When I first talked
to those people, you know,

I thought it was
a simple little colonial.

Who knew?
I'm still hyperventilating!

You mean
the Sundermyers have money?

We are talking M-O-N-E-Y.

To give you an example,

their dog's name
is Richard.

The servants
call him Dick.

I guess they must have
liked me pretty good,

because when I left
they said that I could call him that, too.

Where's Julia?
She's at the bank.

So they liked your idea?

I have no idea.
I mean, I was completely intimidated.

This was me in
the great hall.

Oh, Jo. You always
sell yourself short. I bet we get that account.

I bet we don't.
They're talking to all the big design firms.

They're not
going to pick us.

We do English chintz
and pine cupboards.

These people have icons
and marble lions.

I'm not talking about
some ceramic horse jockey,

I am talking
lions with their heads thrown back laughing.

What's wrong?

It's my neck.

I've been noticing recently
that it looks like somebody else's neck

and I just realized who it was.

Ronald Reagan.

You know, there's no reason
for him to go around like that.

Like Gorbachev.
That thing on his head,

I have some stuff that'd
cover that right up.

Anything wrong?

Charlene,
tell me something.

Have I ever misled you?

Yes, that time you told me
going to a psychic's a waste of money

and they told me
a bunch of things that came true.

And also, when you said
people with tattoos have something wrong with them.

I've known some very nice--
All right!

I hate it when you
break my flow.

How much do you have
invested in this business?

Well, half my savings.

I mean, I could never
give more than that,

unless of course,
it was during wartime.

I hope that didn't
break your flow.

Mary Jo...

Everything except my kid's
college fund, why?

Nothing for you
to worry about.

I just want you both to know
that you can count on me.

Last year,
when Hayden died,

I said I'm going to do
what I always wanted to do,

start my own
decorating business.

And no matter
how many overwrought, tight-fisted bankers

wail and gnash their teeth,

I have no intention
of going under.

How much were we off?

A couple hundred
from last month.

Charlene,
what is all this stuff?

Oh, those are the lights
Mr. Tyson sent back this morning.

The man is a nutcase.
Why is he returning these?

Well, now he seems to feel
the way they were lit

accentuates the nude figures
in his paintings.

He's not saying
it's intentional, mind you,

it's just more titillating
than he'd like.

That's his word.
Personally, I hate that word

and especially hate the way
Mr. Tyson says it. He kinds of draws it out.

Anyway, he's not
saying that all the figures are obscene.

Apparently,
if a person's naked but they also have wings,

then it's not obscene
'cause they're an angel.

Thank you.

Sugarbakers.

Oh. Hi.

Yeah. Me, too.

Tonight?

Yeah, okay.

All right.
See you then.

Is that him?

Yeah.

We're going out again.

Oh, great.

No, not great.

There must be
something wrong with him

or I wouldn't
like him so much.

There is already one thing
that kind of bothers me.

And what is that?

He had a bullet hole
in his pants.

A bullet hole?
How you know that's what it was?

'Cause I said,
"What's that hole in your pants?"

And he said, "Oh, that?
That's a bullet hole."

Perhaps he was out shopping
somewhere and got caught in some crossfire.

Well, good morning, troops.

Isn't it wonderful
to see everyone

so bright-eyed
and bushy-tailed?

Suzanne, I've just
come from the bank.

And I'm in no mood
for your assessment of my tail.

Well, don't you
worry about that, big sister.

Because I just
landed us a job

refurbishing Mr. and Mrs.
JD Boliver's estate In Ansley Park.

Of course,
you know they're an interracial couple.

So I told them all about
our family's part in the civil rights struggle.

What part?

You know.
That time mother got up at town hall

and said,
"If the races must mingle,

then let it begin with me
and Harry Belafonte."

By the way, Charlene,

I can't seem to find
any of my alimony checks.

I think
you've misplaced them.

Well, excuse me,
but they're right where they always are

in order of
alphabetical husbands.

Furthermore, I do
not misplace things.

In case you haven't noticed,
I'm not a person going down the great freeway of life

with the back of her dress
tucked in her pantyhose.

Okay, don't be so touchy.

You might be
interested to know

that Dr. Stenner's office
called and canceled your appointment.

He's retiring immediately
for health reasons.

Retiring?

He can't retire.
He's been my gynecologist for years.

Let him go.
He's paid his dues.

Well, this is just awful.

I don't even know
another gynecologist.

Jo's ex-husband's one.

Is he any good?

Well, I'd like to think so.

She put him
through school.

Do you
have his number?

Yeah, I guess I've got it
right here in my wallet.

Is this him
with your kids?

Mm-hmm.

He has horns.

I don't know
what incredibly immature person did that.

You know, Suzanne,
I find this really incredible.

Three hours ago
you were looking for a new gynecologist,

so Mary Jo graciously
gave you the number of her ex-husband.

We were all under
the impression this was to be a medical visit.

Now you return with
the news that you're dating this person?

I mean,
forgive my stupidity,

but just exactly how does
one make that jump

from the stirrups
in a doctor's office to a booth at TGI Fridays?

Look, Julia,
I can't explain it.

It was romantic fate.
I'm a romantic.

All I know
is our eyes met...

She's not only a romantic,
she's a contortionist.

I only had a consultation
in Ted's outer office.

Oh, now it's Ted.

Look, I don't understand
what everyone's getting so upset about.

After all, Ted and
Mary Jo are divorced, their relationship is in the past.

Come on, Suzanne.
These things are never in the past.

I'm sure Mary Jo
has some old underwear she doesn't want either.

That doesn't mean she
wants to see you in it.

Well, I think we should let
Mary Jo speak for herself.

Mary Jo,
I want the truth.

If my going out with
Ted would bother you in any way,

then all you have to do
is to tell me.

And I would.

If you want to
go out with Ted, it's fine with me.

Good. Because I
wouldn't want you to feel pressured

or to feel threatened

by our incredibly
electric attraction for one another.

And I swear I don't
mean that bitchy.

I don't understand
why you have to pick on her ex-husband.

Julia, I didn't pick him.
It just happened.

And it will happen again.

Suzanne,
if sex were fast food

there'd be an arch
over your bed.

And I swear I don't
mean that bitchy.

Mary Jo...

I know this is none
of my business,

but I just can't believe
you let him get away.

I mean, what happened?

Well, we married young
and drifted apart.

That's it?

That and I guess I just
got tired every night

of having to yell,
"stop it, stop it. You're killing me."

Really?

So then, you're absolutely,
positively sure

you don't
mind if I date him? I'm sure.

Well, why not? He always
dated whoever he wanted even when they were married.

I should have suspected
he had some macho problem

when all the nurses he hired
always had these sort of life-threatening breasts.

At first, I tried
to ignore it.

I was a different
person then,

not like I am today,

brimming with bravado
and self-confidence.

I kept hoping that...

That seeing
all those female

patients,

all day long,
day in, day out

would somehow
make him numb.

Instead, he developed
a high tolerance.

You know what
was really hard?

When he would come home
after a long day

and I would want
to be somehow...

Different from
the others.

But there's only
so much you can do.

With what you have.

If you know
what I mean.

Really?
I don't think I'd have that problem at all.

Oh?

All I'm saying is,
anyone can make sex new and exciting

if they're
creative about it.

Well, I guess I'm just
not the exotic type.

I see one of those
electric personal massage deals

and all I can think of
is horrendous home safety accident.

I'm not saying
you need props.

You just have to talk
to each other in bed.

Personally, I can't stand a man
who talks in bed.

And the last thing I want
is to lie around discussing the whys and wherefores

of who's going to be doing what
to whom and for how long.

I say just get the show
on the road.

Julia, you remind me
more and more of Betty Davis everyday.

I know.

I remind every one
of those big-shouldered broads.

Would you look at the time?
I've got to run.

Ted's taking me
out to dinner.

Now, Mary Jo,
will you cross your heart

and hope to die
this won't bother you?

Yes. Go.

And have a wonderful time.

Bitch.

It was just
a little joke.

You know, I like this place.
There's so many men in suits and ties.

I just love a man
in a suit and tie.

If all these men in here
were in their underwear,

I'd probably medley dress them.

While we're on the subject,
what happened to your friend with the bullet hole?

Don't ask.

Well, it just so happens
he's in jail right now

but it's just to do
some undercover work.

I know that sounds flaky
and you don't always have to refer to him as my friend.

His name is Shadow.

Charlene, are you sure
you told Suzanne Tokyo Gardens?

Of course I'm sure.

Have some sushi.

I've finally figured it out.

It's not Suzanne
I'm mad at,

it's Ted.

You see, when we
got divorced,

I couldn't tell him
how angry I was.

She didn't even
ask for alimony.

You didn't ask
for alimony?

No. I had my heart
set on the death penalty.

She put Ted
through med school.

He owes her a fortune.
Which school?

Guadalajara.
Maybe not.

When we got back
to the States, first thing he did

when he got out of residency
was buy a Jaguar.

Suddenly, at 30, he decided
he was going bald.

That was when
they lived next door to me. He had hair plugs put in,

started going to
sun tanning parlors.

Pretty soon,
all you could see were his teeth.

He would come home
at 10:00 at night,

smelling like perfume,

looking like Kunta Kinte.

If there's one thing
I cannot stand, it's a prissy man.

Excuse me,
but you lovely ladies

look like you're
in need of a little male companionship.

Trust me when I tell you that
you've completely misassessed the situation at this table.

[LAUGHS]
A sense of humor. I like that.

You're, uh...

Charlene Frazier.

No kidding.
I have a sister named Darlene.

Really? I have sisters
named Marlene, Darlene, and Harlene.

I have a brother
named Skip.

Allow me to
introduce myself.

Ray Don Simpson.

There's no need for
introductions, Ray Don, we know who you are.

You do?
Of course.

You're the guy who's always
wherever women gather or try to be alone.

You want to eat with us
when we dine in hotels,

you want to know the book
we're reading is any good,

or if you can keep us
company on the plane.

And I want to thank you,
Ray Don,

on behalf of all
the women in the world

for your unfailing
attention and concern.

But read my lips
and remember,

as hard as it is
to believe,

sometimes we like talking
just to each other,

and sometimes we like
just being alone.

Okay, I can take a hint.

You want
a little girl-talk.

I'll just go make
a couple of phone calls and be right back.

Julia, he just asked
to sit down.

You didn't have
to annihilate him.

I'm sorry, but
you just cannot be nice to a man like that.

Hiya, Suzanne.

Hello, everyone.
Sorry I'm late.

I don't know where
the time went to.

Ted and I were at
a book store, getting that Michelin guide on Paris.

Oh, that's all right.

Here. Have
a whore d'oeuvres.

You and Ted
are going to Paris?

Oh, just for the weekend.
He can't take off more time than that.

I always dreamed
of going to Paris.

But instead, we went to
Lake of the Ozarks and Silver Dollar City.

Look, I'm sorry
I even mentioned it!

You know, it's very difficult
being so happy

and not being
able to share it with any of my friends.

Buy a diary.

There's just one thing
I'm dying to show you,

and then I promise
not another word.

[GASPS]

Well...

That must have
set him back a couple of hysterectomies.

Doesn't he have
great taste in jewelry?

Oh, yes.

I have always treasured
my opal pinkie ring.

Suzanne, after hearing
the way Ted treated Mary Jo,

I'd think you might want
to reconsider dating him.

Oh, Ted would never hurt me.

No, but I would.

Well, I'm very sorry
all of you feel this way.

I can see now that
you'd never be happy about my big news.

Okay, I give. What news?

Ted has asked me
to marry him!

Check.

Well, I just
cannot believe it!

I mean, how can I work?

I mean,
dating is one thing, but marriage is quite another.

I mean, can you
imagine her as the stepmother of my baby?

That woman
is not a mother!

She has no idea how
to make a salt map of the Grand Canyon!

Look. Maybe we're all
overreacting here.

Now, look at all the times
Suzanne's been engaged. Right, Julia?

Right.
And how many of them did she marry?

All of them.
Thank you very much.

Hello, Mary Jo.

Now I know you're mad
at me for doing this.

But if Ted and I
are going to have any chance for happiness,

then you two
have to work out your differences.

I brought him here
so you can tell him what's on your mind.

And then we'll all
feel better and live happily ever after, okay?

Okay.

I think we girls should
go powder our noses so Ted and Mary Jo can talk.

You stick
to your guns.

So...

How've you been?
Great.

I want to see you
sometimes when I pick up the kids,

but you're always upstairs.

Yeah. Well,
those are the breaks.

Easy come, easy go.

Mary Jo,

Suzanne and I are serious.
I hope that won't be a problem for you.

A problem?
No. Why would that be a problem?

Comme c'est, comme ca.

I think that's
comme ci, comme ca.

How dare you
correct me!

Actually...

I think this is
a pretty good idea,

because there's
some things I'd like to get off my chest.

Wait a minute!

You're blaming me for
the weather in Mexico, too?

Monsoons are my fault?

I'm not saying monsoons
are your fault!

Do you see this ashtray?

This ashtray
is approximately the size

of the tiny stool
that I sat on for two years.

Eight Hours a day,
filing 3 x 5 index cards

so that you could
become a doctor.

And the only time
I got off that stool

was to go to my
waitressing job

or to give birth
to your child

while you were scuba
diving off the coast of Baja

with a person
named Martita.

Okay, so you resent me.

There's nothing I can
do about that now.

I've offered you money,
you won't accept it.

I don't want your money
and I don't want your degree!

Then what
do you want? I want...

I want to know that
what I did mattered!

That I mattered.

I want you to say,

"Thank you."

That's it?

That's it.

Gee, you're

putting a lot
of pressure on me to perform here.

I mean, if that's
all you want,

I want to say it with
tremendous feeling,

but now I'm feeling
all blocked and...

You know, Ted,

you really are a jackass.

Okay, You're right.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Thank you.

There now,
wasn't that nice?

And don't we all
feel much better?

Yeah.

It's amazing how mad
you can get

when you let it build up
for 10 or 12 years.

Personally, I would have
hired Marvin Mitchelson

and had your wahoo mounted
and hung over my fireplace.

Ted, this is my older sister
Julia, grown bitter from years of living in my shadow.

And I think you know Charlene.

Hey, Charlene.
It's been a while.

You still selling
your cosmetics on the side?

Mm-hmm. Your skin's looking
a little dry. You should drop by.

I'd love to give you
a chemical peel.

Well, I'd like
to make a toast.

A toast?

Yes. I feel great
about the fact that

Ted and Suzanne
are getting married,

'cause if they weren't,

then we might never have
had our little talk.

And I want to wish them
all the happiness in the world.

Well, this might be
a little premature.

After all, Ted and I
have a lot of talking to do ourselves.

Talking? About what?

Oh, I just have
a few questions.

Like what's the big deal
about not being able to go to sleep

before anyone
else in the room goes to sleep?

That's just how I am.
You know that.

How would I know that?

We haven't
been to sleep yet.

And another thing
for your information,

I don't go around
marrying men who kick dogs.

Hey, I don't know
where she got that.

I never kicked a dog
in my life.

I just threw that
in for fun.

I'd like to make
that toast anyway. You know,

I think it was pretty
darn nice of Suzanne to bring Ted over here.

Out of character,
but nice.

So, here's to a very
classy coworker

and to Julia,

the best of
the big-shouldered broads.

And to Char,
the last of the great lean sisters.

Two of the finest women
that it's been my honor to be in debt with.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]