Original subtitles

[ultrasound scanner whirring]

[woman] Oh, listen to that. That's your little girl.

[melodious music playing]

[wailing]

[slurping]

-[sniffles] -[ice cubes rattle]

[exhales]

Get it together. Okay.

[GPS system beeps]

[woman singing] ♪ Go Pilot Your driving Go Pilot ♪

[man] Navigating you.

[woman on GPS] Top of the morning to ya.

This is GO Pilot, your driving co-pilot.

[crying]

Oh, sweetie, you're crying.

Did you just realize you're pregnant again?

Well, if it did not occur to you to smoke weed,

I'm gonna navigate you to your happy place, all right?

Okay.

Location, Van Nuys. Thirty-six minutes to destination, Venice Beach.

[upbeat music playing]

I promise you, you are almost there.

Nine months pregnant.

Did you know pregnancy is actually 10 months?

Oh, that's obnoxious. It's not fun.

Yeah, and super comfortable.

Oh, wait, uh, I think we made a wrong turn.

No, it's a shortcut.

Put your shake down and take a look to your right.

Oh, well, thank you.

You see everything, don't you?

Yes, I do.

It's almost creepy.

You're kind of like my only friend.

Oh, don't be ridiculous. Your husband adores you.

Frankly, I put out.

Well, obviously.

So, how is your mother doing these days?

Still here.

She's like the energizer bunny.

But she recovered from the last time

I dropped her in the parking lot.

I would laugh, but that's actually really sad.

Yeah.

Come on, dementia's hilarious.

Well, the kind of dementia that she has is called Multi-infarct dementia,

which is appropriate since she doesn't seem to be able

to hold her own wind.

-Wow! -And on top of that,

she does remember me.

Well, the good news is she still remembers you, right?

She remembers everyone and she makes that very clear by--

Breathe. Pause.

We are at your destination. Are you relaxed yet?

If by relaxed you mean not afraid to be my mom...

I mean, a mom, then yes.

Calm down. Take a deep breath.

[inhales and exhales]

[dog barking]

[cell phone rings]

Shit!

Hey.

-[man] We found your mom at a bus stop. -Uh, what?

She was trying to escape again. It was not our fault.

Okay.

And this time, she was holding on to some green box and would not let it go.

Uh, yeah, uh, I'll be right there.

-All right, Miss Jenica. -Great.

Shit!

All right, mom. You got me, I'm coming back.

[GPS system beeps]

[woman singing] ♪ GO Pilot Your driving GO Pilot ♪

[man speaking] Go navigate you!

-[woman on GPS] So soon? -Yup. She's still here. Living off my freedom.

[upbeat music playing]

[woman on GPS] Location, Venice Beach.

Forty-eight minutes with traffic, destination Van Nuys.

[Jenica] Thank you, uh, for, for stopping her.

-Jenica? -Yeah.

Did you pick a name?

-Uh, for the... Oh, for the baby? -Mm-hmm.

Oh. Um, yeah. If it's a boy, we're gonna name it Josh.

If it's a girl, we'll, we'll name it Kegel.

It's a family name.

We come from a tight family.

[laughs]

I know what a kegel is. I know.

-Yeah. -So, speaking of the, your family,

um, you have an Aunt Maxine?

Yeah, I do.

She called, she tells me she's Helene's sister.

I... I-I don't know.

I have, I have not talked to my aunt in... 18 years.

-What? -Yeah.

That's your family.

I know. It's her family actually. I...

We don't talk... They don't talk.

So we haven't really talked.

Well, she call here. She say she wanna talk to the, uh, Helene's kid.

And she said that if it's Jen...

-That's you right? -Right.

She wants Jen, if she's not too busy being funny, please call her.

So she left the number. She's at...

She's in 818 area, so, I don't know where she at.

She lives like, 20 minutes from here, in Simi Valley.

My mom actually told me she was like, um...

My aunt is a greedy cunt.

-Your mother said that word? -Oh yeah.

-What? -[laughing] I know.

She called her sister a cunt?

[chuckles]

[exclaims]

-I did not know. -Yeah.

Well, I tried to fix your mother's glasses, but...

-Oh. Thank you. -It's all right.

Um, that's duct tape. Okay.

Um, so, I'm gonna take this box.

I don't know what this is. I'm... I'm gonna take it.

Um, thank you so much again, for helping.

All right, so...

-Uh, I'll just bring mom back to her room. -[clattering]

-Okay. -Oh, sh... I got that. I got it.

-Don't get up. -I'm not.

-[beep] -[woman over phone] It's almost Halloween.

Don't leave me a trick, I only want a treat.

-[beep] -[Jenica] Hi, um, Auntie.

Uh, I guess you're my aunt.

Yeah, I'm your niece. Okay.

Uh, I remember you had really great manicures.

So, how about it? You can come see her in the nursing home.

You know where it is.

Um, but I just want to warn you,

it's not like an episode of Touched By An Angel or anything.

Um, uh, mom had a couple of strokes.

Well, about 50 of them.

She-she kinda looks like, uh, Weekend at Bernie's.

Only not dead.

Anyway, if you need, I guess you can call me back.

We can chat about her and her frontal lobe.

Um, have, have a, have a good day,

There she is.

Ah. Come. Come and have a seat.

Oh, it has been a day.

Oh, it's a beautiful day. Isn't it?

-[clang] -What was that?

Uh, that was mom's foot.

I have to ask you, Lisa.

You share a room with my mom.

Have you ever seen this case?

Or suitcase, suitcase box?

I mean, I know you're blind.

Only when it suits me, darling.

No, I don't know. Your mother never tells me anything.

So that case

actually is like this huge legend in my family.

Only heard about it, and it just showed up today.

I guess the story is that my grandma

left my mom that case

and my aunt, a key to the case

and said, "You guys settle it."

-And then died. -What? No!

And then they got into a fight. I haven't even...

I haven't even heard from my aunt.

Oh, that would drive a wedge between anyone.

And apparently there's like, $50,000 or something.

-[gasps] -Yup. Exactly.

Oh, my word.

Are you fat or are you pregnant?

Fuck you!

[Lisa] What?

-Fuck you. -Oh, stop.

I'm not, I'm not doing anything which...

[laughs]

[Lisa] Is the money in there now?

Fuck you.

You should.. You need to get that.

You-you're telling me?

[peppy music playing]

[Jenica] Lucy, I'm home.

[laughs] Oh, Ricky!

-Hey! Hi. -Listen.

-What? -[phone beeps]

Listen.

[Maxine] Hello, Jenica.

I missed your call. I was getting a pedicure.

It was so nice to hear your demeanor, dear.

My sister is not my sister anymore. I understand.

There was a time it was hard to think of anything

that shuts her up as a problem.

[laughs] No, quite honestly.

-[both laugh] -I want to see my sister again,

but I can't do it, dear.

I broke my sacrum. That's my butt bone.

I can't even walk.

So, please, I beg of you, darling, come see me.

That sounds like it' s gonna be a lot of fun.

[peppy music playing]

-[Helene grunting] -Let it go, mom.

Let it... Let it go, mom.

Let it go.

I'll make you do it.

Okay.

You gotta work with me.

-Mm. -Ready?

[grunting]

-Ready? On the count of three. -Okay.

One, two, three.

-[groaning] -All right.

Ma!

Oh, God!

[both grunting]

Fuck. Fuck.

[panting]

[Josh] It's an ammo box. All right, what do you think is in there?

It could be anything.

Mm.

[both chuckling]

Hey!

You understand that there is...

there is money in that suitcase.

-There's money in that shit. And she-- -Wait.

You know what's screwed up? Let me tell you something.

[chuckles]

Your mother...

-My mom... -Your mother

had us pay

for her dog

when she broke her dog's leg.

She broke her dog's leg and--

On an... Wait, wait, wait. On an escalator.

-Not an elevator. At Nordstrom's. -I thought it was an elevator.

Security called us and said,

"There's a woman here, she asked us to call you.

You need to pick her up. She's crying,

she broke her Yorkshire terrier's leg on the thing."

What's 35 fucking 100 dollars?

Why the hell did we pay for that when she's got a suitcase full of money?

You're spitting.

[clattering]

[breathes heavily]

-[peppy music playing] -[grunts]

[exhales]

Okay.

Come see me and I'll come see you.

[GPS system beeps]

[woman on GPS] Congratulations, this is your life.

Where to, Biggie Small?

I prefer Slim Shady.

-Oh. -Um...

Well, I'm taking my mother to beautiful Simi Valley

to see her sister.

Reunions are fun. So how's your mom today?

We had her in an urn already, but she was just, uh,

screaming for Jell-O.

[clears throat]

Hello?

Hello!

No, why are you so angry at the ammo box?

Oh, my God, I was gonna say

"Take it easy there, Hippity-Hop."

That box is dead already.

I promise at the end of this road it's a beautiful--

Ready to see you sister, Mom?

Twenty minutes to destination Simi Valley.

Just twenty minutes to fix your family history.

Why don't we grab your sister on the way

and wrap this whole thing up?

[peppy music playing]

[Jenica] Yeah. My sister.

Yeah, not calling her.

-[phone rings] -[woman] Hi, babe. Did it happen?

The Helene-Maxine reunion? The thing.

No. I need you guys' help.

No. Oh, my God, no. Here. Joe.

[Joe] Jen, bringing the Bride of Chucky

to a five-year-old's birthday party is not appropriate.

Yeah, but I bought a gift.

If it's your mom, leave her in the car.

No, no!

[screaming indistinctly]

You take it. I'm not gonna tell her. You tell her. I'm done.

[peppy music playing]

-[click] -[GPS system beeps]

Hi Oprah, it's your pal Gayle.

Okay, Brooke lives in Burbank,

which is actually 40 minutes away from destination, sweetie.

but whatever floats your boat.

[music continues]

-I need your help. -No.

-No. Not gonna happen. -Okay, asked and answered.

No. It's-it's a no.

It's a, it's a resounding no.

-It's like an emphatic... -We've done this

-so many times. -You been licking this?

I didn't lick it. I just wiped a piece off with my tongue.

-I'm not doing this. -I did this with your mom 25 times.

I have PTSD from that trip.

-No, absolutely not. -We love you, but it's not gonna happen.

-Yeah. -No, you're my best friend.

-There's a point. -What's going on with your Aunt Maxine?

[sighs] She says she broke her sacrum.

What? Isn't that something you put in your coffee?

No, the asshole.

-Oh, that's Sanka. -No, that's her butt bone.

-It's her ass bone. -Right. Okay.

I'm not even...

I would help you, but... I do.

I looked at my calendar. I am blocked out all day.

-I'm going to-- -Hi, Douglas.

-Hi. -Oh, hey.

What're you doing besides your kid's birthday party?

Say no.

He's the drunken bunny.

He always... Oh, that's so creepy.

-Do you really have liquor in that? -[Doug] No.

Does that bunny have balls?

No, he put it on backwards. He thinks it's funny.

-Who's your bunny? -That's not right.

It's not. It's not anything that you want, you see.

Come back now, bunny, and bring your little bunny ball with you.

-Okay, he's been drinking -[laughter]

Doug, this is really too sugary.

[Doug] You would drink too if you had to do this.

-Um... -Okay, seriously, why don't you just ask your sister?

[GPS system beeps]

[woman on GOS] Hi-ho, Silver. It's Tonto here.

There's a hitch in the giddy-up.

Family reunions are either sadistic or delusional.

I think you can do this on your own.

I appreciate the confidence, but I can't do this by myself.

She's like a diving bell.

All right, well the case that there is

no one else in your family,

then go ahead. Interrupt that Bat Mitzvah Josh's catering

and see if he can join.

Uh, Mom, I'm just gonna... I'm gonna be right back.

Gotta go talk to Josh.

[muttering] What the fuck?

[peppy music playing]

-Oh, hey! How are you? -Hi! How are you?

It's so good to see you. Oh, my goodness, you're so big.

-I know. -Are you sleeping?

Uh, no, it's the meth.

[laughing] Right. Oh, my gosh, this is great.

-It is so crazy in there. -It is?

Seriously, yeah. Don't even go in there.

[talking over each other]

Well, I have my mom in the car., so...

Oh, yeah, I know. You told me. Hey!

-Yes. Oh, she looks good. -She does?

So he said you're going out to see her sister.

That is such an amazing thing.

-You need to go have-- -Well, I kinda didn't wanna do it alone--

-Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. -I just wanna--

You know how he gets.

No, you know what?

This is for you. This is your day.

It's your time. It's gonna be so nice.

Hands-free calling Josh, por favor.

[clattering]

[phone ringing]

No. Come on! Come on, come on.

-Hi! -[Jenica] Hi, babe. Uh...

-What's up? -You just sent that perky bitch out to send me away.

And, um, um, sweetie, getting her into the car is like humping a mannequin.

So you're probably cooking right now, right? Party in full swing?

Uh, yeah, yeah. A little busy right now.

-Chef thing. -Oh, okay.

Well, um, and, and Mom's fucking heavy.

And I-I just can't do this.

Oh, come on. You can. You don't need me right now, all right?

-Look, call your sister. -I know.

She'll help you. She can stop working for like 5 minutes.

-I know, right? -[smoke detector beeping]

Okay, yeah, see, I just got the smoke detector going off now.

I gotta... I really gotta...

Okay, well, I guess I'll let you cook.

-Say hello to the rabbi. -Yeah, yeah. Bye.

[flame roaring]

-[phone ringing] -[peppy music playing]

-[Maxine] Hello. -Hi Auntie.

I'm sorry. Believe or not, I just got mom in the car.

Is it a boy or a girl?

Oh, I don't know.

We're gonna have some gypsy lady read my hemorrhoids.

-It's-it's a girl. -Are you sure it's not twins?

'Cause I saw you on the Instagram.

-[laughing] -Only women run in this family.

No, just crazy.

She's nuts! She's crazy! Are you kidding me?

Your mom is crazy.

I'm so glad you don't have any of the crazy genes.

-Oh! -'Cause, I mean, it must skip a generation.

So this little girl here is gonna be a nutso.

What just happened?

I just got worried about... that.

Oh, come on. We're just joking around.

How did you just go from like ten to one in like two seconds?

Hey, what's going on? What are you worried about?

All right, all right, all right, come on.

-Hey, hey, hey... What? -Josh. Josh!

What?

Can you not tickle my tit when I'm having a moment?

What is your moment about?

And then I'll tickle your tit..

You know, we can do the "Your Mama" jokes...

Okay.

...all night long, but the truth is...

First of all, you always want to have sex with me at inappropriate moments.

Yeah, of course I do. That's, that's like the best...

We've had sex in every other moment possible.

Even the appropriate ones.

Secondly...

I would love to have sex with you during a car accident or something.

-Can you... -What?

I saw a place in Venice today.

And it was a restaurant space.

And we could actually move to Venice,

where I wanna live 'cause that case...

has a shit load of money in it.

And we spent a shit load of money on her.

First of all, slow down. That suitcase isn't ours.

Okay? That money isn't ours.

So let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Number two, Venice will always be there. Okay?

In my world we have the perfect life.

So let's stop thinking about all the things we don't have,

and just, right now, enjoy this moment.

-With this little thingy in here... -Mm.

...and these little thingys in here.

-Ooh, it's kicking. -[snorts]

You're like one of those body builders

who can get their pecs to go up and down.

[both laugh]

-[GPS system beeps] -[Helene shouts]

[woman singing] ♪ Go Pilot Your driving Go Pilot ♪

[woman on GPS] Hey, Thelma, it's Louise here.

-Can I be frank with you? -Surely.

Chatsworth is just one stop away from Simi Valley.

Yeah, it's a road I don't travel very much.

Chatsworth! They are known for their --

Uh-oh. Oh, God, I think I'm gonna throw up.

I know it's not the baby.

...her mother too.

-She needs to step up and share this responsibility too. -[choking]

It's called being an adult.

And let me tell you something. To each his own.

Ohh, that was like a piece of corn or something.

Honestly, seriously, do not worry. It's gonna be okay.

Her field has got nothing to do with your field.

Keep the focus on yourself. Live and let live.

But you go ahead and leave you mom in the car again. Okay?

[Jenica] You know how every family has one crazy family member?

-And in mine-- -Wait let me guess, which one it is.

Let me interrupt you.

Every family has one.

That ruins the holiday.

-I don't think I'm it. -I've been there.

I-I'm, I'm hoping.

She's your sister, Jenica.

And you both have different ways of dealing with your mom. That's all it is.

[knocks on door]

That must be the Asian girl.

Oh, damn! They sent us pregnant instead.

We'll get you in make-up in five minutes.

Oh, no. I'm not, I'm not going to make-up.

-Hi. -Jenica!

Hi.

Uh, uh, I-I'm I'm teaching right now.

Oh. Uh... That's...

No,I'm not part of this. I need a minute with her.

Uh, this is my sister,

I'm not a playmate. Hi. Nice to meet you.

-Can I talk to you? -[man] ??

-No, no, I'm actually working right now. -That's fine.

Let's go.

-I unders... -I.. Oh...

I need to talk to you.

[exhales]

What?

Oh, my God! Are you pregnant?

No.

So you put on that much weight in what?

We haven't seen each other in a year?

-Oh, my God! -What?

Oh, my God, Jenica!

There's a fucking bird in your hair!

A fucking bi...

It's a fucking feather!

It's haute couture.

Jesus!

I'm... I'm sorry.

-What? -I need your help.

-You need my help? -I do.

-For what? -Mom's in the car.

And, um, Aunt Maxine called.

-Aunt Maxine called you? -Yes.

And she asked if I can bring mom to see her before she dies.

Aunt Maxine is dying?

No, mom's been dying for four years, Dee Dee.

Then how'd she get in the car?

That's a good point.

I put her in there by myself.

And that's why I need you to help me.

-Help you put her in the car? -Yes.

-She's in the car. -I need you to come with me.

To do what?

To take her to see Aunt Maxine.

Well, don't you have friends for that?

I have a lot of friends, Dee Dee, you're her daughter.

I know, but I'm working.

-You're her daughter. -I'm working.

-You're her daughter. -I'm working.

Please.

[sighs]

You sure no one else can help?

All right, fine. Then you stay there.

Wait for me to change.

Fatty.

[heels clacking]

[woman on GPS] There's nothing to worry about.

You need to get out of your head.

All those ideas you have about her business,

in the world of bodies, is her business.

Oh, man!

Come on!

[horn beeps]

We're gonna miss the movie. What the fuck is your sister doing?

Uh, she said she was getting a soup plantation coupon.

Oh. That's good.

We'll need some roughage 'cause I got a lot of goodies for the movie.

I'm not paying $50 for gummy bears. Fuck that.

What's wrong with you?

-You got gas? -No. Huh?

-Gotta go to the bathroom? -No.

Got your period?

-What? -I... What.

That was weird right? That guy, coming out?

[laughs]

Really?

What?

That's your trick.

-What? -Come on, kid!

Takes a trick to know a trick.

Right?

Think I should dye my hair again?

No, it looks good.

Well, now we know what took her so long.

[phone ringing]

-[Maxine] Hello? -Hi, Auntie.

-Yes, dear? -Oh, brother!

-What? -Oh, no, I'm... Not you.

-I'm actually at Dee Dee's house. -[men shouting]

-And, uh... -...Fucking movie!

What's that ruckus? Is she having a party?

-If you wanna do me when that baby's out... -Uh...

...give me a call, okay?

Wow! I'm so sorry, Auntie.

I'm gonna have to call you back.

I want to let you know Dee Dee's coming.

-Oh, Dee Dee! -[car horn beeps]

Stepping up to the plate. She was always such a good girl.

-Fucking bullshit! -I'm excited to see both of you.

-I love you. -Yes, I love you too. Bye-bye.

[peppy music playing]

Hi, Mom.

Ready?

I have to be. You just kidnapped me.

This is gonna be fun!

Woo-hoo! Yay-hey!

-[phone vibrating] -Shit!

-[tires screech] -Okay, I... Oh! Jesus! Mom!

-[Dee Dee laughs] -I'm so sorry.

-[Helene grunts] -Are you okay?

I'm, I'm sorry, Mom. Um...

I'm gonna have to take a phone call outside the car, so...

[indistinct]

Are you wearing fake eyelashes?

No. They're... made with real hair.

I...

How do you afford those?

I'm good with money.

-Oh, give me a break. -No. No, no, you give me a break.

You're the one who wanted me to go

on this crazy fucking reunion.

And you're gonna sit there and judge me?

At least I have the ability to judge.

She... And show up!

-Shut up! -What?

[laughs]

I am on hold for a Skinny Quick campaign.

[snorts]

-Why is that funny? -It's not.

My agent just called me and I need to talk to my agent.

Stay put.

Skinny girl campaign.

[laughs] Yeah, good luck with that.

Mom, did you hit your head in?

-Forehead? -Shut up!

Need a band-aidd?

Oh, I need a cocktail.

Here she comes. Waddling like a penguin.

So, how did that go?

Uh, went good. We're gonna have a little detour.

Um...

They want to pair me up with my hubby

for a third call back same day, so I have to go to it.

Um, I told them I'm pregnant and they didn't see it.

So, didn't see that?

[laughs] That make me pee my pants.

[GPS system beeps]

[woman on GPS] Look at this. We've got the whole gang back together.

Navigating to your happy place?

Close, but no cigar.

-Uh-oh. -It's right by there.

Location, Northridge, destination Venice--

No, I just need to get cast

so I can make this all work.

Your method of surviving mom is no different than your sister.

Let's not be snooty pants.

[phone rings]

[Maxine over phone] Yes? By the time you get here I'll be drunk.

[Jenica] I'm sorry, I, I have a call back for a commercial.

It'll just take a sec. It's not that far.

[Maxine] I just want to see my sister one last time.

Hold her hand.

Well, it's been 18 years, we can tack on a few more, right?

[Helene laughs]

Okay, this is just gonna take a second.

Can you hand me my shirt from the audition box in the back?

-What, the striped one? -Yeah.

-You're wearing a striped one. -Yeah, but it's different stripes.

Thank you.

All right, just so we're clear,

you asked me to go to Aunt Maxine's with you to bring mom.

And she lives five minutes from me.

And now, we're in Venice.

Okay, just so we're clear,

I need to make money for my growing family.

This is just gonna take a second.

You are so selfish,

You know what, here.

While I'm gone, feed the baby.

-Wish me luck. -Good luck.

-Want some? -Fuck you!

Never mind.

Of course it's you.

-Hello. -How are you?

-You look so beautiful. -Thank you.

Always me and you.

I have that same shirt.

I know. We all have this shirt.

Oh, are you her hubby?

-Carl? -Hey.

-Good to see you. -How are you?

-I'm good. And he's... -[Carl] Um...

I'm here on number one.

-Oh, yeah, right, different product. -Sit down.

-Thank you. -You must be... You look great.

Thank you. I'm so pregnant and huge.

-Yeah... -Oh, you don't look... You look perfect.

-I'm crowning. -[both laugh]

Um, no, actually, I told them I don't want to come here

because I'm pregnant. They called.

-They said you had to come... I had to come today. -Right.

So, how is your mom?

She's still here. She just...

We keep showing her episodes of Poltergeist

-hoping she gets the point. -That is a good idea.

Spot number one.

Go in the light.

-We just... -Wow!

Actually, she's in the car with my, um, my sister.

Oh. Oh, really? The, uh...

The one that does the uh,

the things on the Internet?

-Porn. -The porn?

I'm sorry, she's like... She does like dance.

She's a, a dancer.

-You're number one? -Finally.

You're this way. Room two.

Here I come to save the day.

All right, good. We need that... saving.

Jenica, are you pregnant?

Yeah. I...

When you guys called and said come right now,

I, I told them to tell your assistant I'm, I'm...

-Can we talk? -Yeah.

-I don't, I don't think it's gonna work. -No?

-And I know you drove all the way here-- -I understand.

No, and I love you and I love your work and...

-It's all gonna be good. -I know.

There's gonna be something else for you.

-Okay? -Okay.

-Can I have a hug? -Yes, of course.

Oh, sweetie.

I'd rather, uh, the check would clear.

-Ah. I know. I hear ya. -Okay.

All right, so, you know what?

There's water, there's some almonds.

Get a snack, get a drink.

-Okay. -Okay?

-I'll see you soon. Okay? -Thanks.

All right. Keep well.

-Carl, could you come with me? -Yeah. Sure.

I have to spit a diet shake into a spit bucket all day.

-So... Right. -Thanks.

-[groans] -Buddy, I'm so sorry.

You know what, you're gonna get the next one.

'Cause, you know why? Baby brings bread.

And that's what... That's what everyone says.

-[laughs] -It's a joke.

I'm just really frustrated because I was, uh...

-I had a specific day planned. I was gonna take... -Yeah.

You know what you have to do? You have to embrace this time, Jenica.

Because before you know it, you are gonna be

on the other side of all of it.

And you don't want to have any regrets.

You know, my brother and myself, when my dad was towards the end,

we just decided... You know, "Let's take him around.

Let's take him around town and visit all his friends and our family.

It was like,

just a time for him to sort of say goodbye to everyone.

-It's a really good idea. -Yeah.

[melancholic music playing]

-Hi, Miguel. -Hi.

-How are you? -Good. How are you?

-Doing good. -Ah, three today.

-And one for you. -Oh, thank you.

-Ah, yummy. -How's the baby?

-Oh, it's good. -Doing good?

I feel like a Mexican wrestler.

-Like a brute? -Like bruto.

- Bruto. -Rrr.

-Bye, thank you. -Bye.

Jenica, I can't believe that guy is still alive.

Yeah, I know, he's got like 11 grand children.

He does?

-He's like 50. -He has like 100.

Gosh! You remember you dad used to bring us here

for this chocolate milk all the time?

-Yeah. That's why I brought you here. -Right.

[laughs]

Here you go, Mom.

Wish your dad would have adopted me before he died.

He was so nice.

I know.

Mom never seemed to recover after that, you know?

And I just...

Kinda how I feel like she loved all the men

in her life more than she loved...

-loved us. -[Helene] Fucking bullshit!

She did teach me to take really good care of my skin.

She was always down for that.

Like, every night before I went to sleep it was like,

"Dee Dee, wash your face. Moisturize your face.

Beauty comes from the outside in."

And, and I was like, "Yeah!"

And, and I'm so grateful now.

And I really wish you would have listened to that, you know?

All right, let's get going.

[GPS system beeps]

[woman singing] ♪ Go Pilot Your driving Go Pilot ♪

[woman on GPS] Location, Venice Beach. One hour, 46 minutes to Simi Valley.

You're almost there.

You're just around the corner.

You can do this.

[Dee Dee] Those were really great days. Those were great, great days.

-[laughing] -Come on, Jenica, don't make fun of me.

Just because this is the first time I've had sugar in such a long time.

Um... Ugh!

-You don't smell that? Ugh! -I...

-What? What is that? -I don't... I don't think...

-What is that? -I don't know.

-[passes wind and laughs] -[both gag]

Gag!

Uh, actually, she, she, um...

Uh, she laughs when she shits herself.

[laughing]

She shits her pants when she laughs?

-Yeah. -God! Do something about this, Jenica.

-[GPS system beeps] -[woman] Location Santa Monica.

Forty-nine minutes to destination. What's happening?

-Diaper time. -You had the baby!

Oh, you had the baby!

Actually no, it's not for me.

[releases wind and laughs]

I think she did it again.

-Oh, God. -You know what?

I wanted to take her to see Jeannie anyway.

[voice over GPS] Location Santa Monica.

One block away to destination Santa Monica.

[upbeat music playing]

[horn beeping]

Hi! Hi.

Happy Halloween. [exclaiming excitedly]

Come in. Come in.

Come on, everybody.

Everybody, come in. Oh!

Oh, my gosh! She's so fine.

[laughing excitedly]

[car door closes]

-[Jeannie] Oh, nice to see you. -[Jenica] Nice to see you!

[both exclaiming excitedly]

I'm gonna , I'm gonna need some help.

[Dee Dee speaking indistinctly]

Shuck.

Uh!

[inhales]

-Oh, honey, do you need help? -Uh, actually, I do.

Oh, I wish I could, but my arthritis is so bad right now.

Oh, I just, I need the bathroom.

It's right down the hall, on the right.

-Okay. -Oh, I made cupcakes.

Come on in.

Okay, mom.

[exclaims]

-[laughing] -[Dee Dee] Oh, my God.

Is that my mom, she is so beautiful.

No, it's me. [laughing]

Oh, I just remembered, I'm your godmother.

-You're my godmother? -Oh, honey.

Oh, my gosh. It's so nice to meet you.

Oh, no.

How long has she been like this?

Who, Jenica?

Uh, no, Helene.

[stuttering]

Like about four years.

They're taking a long time.

One, two, three...

-[Helene grunting] -Oh, God, mom.

-Mom! -Fuck you.

-[shushing] -This fucker...

[both grunting]

What the fuck, bitch.

Honey, I completely remember the day you were born.

Oh, your mother loved you so much.

She wouldn't let go

of your little finger when the nurses came to take you away.

You must be talking about Jenica.

-I'm... -No, honey.

I'm talking about you.

Here she is.

Welcome to dementia.

She thinks this is funny.

[Dee Dee] Did you get all the poop?

[Jeannie] Oh, I'm happy to see you.

You have, you have some pictures of her?

Yeah, oh, wait, let's see here.

Oh, God. [laughing]

You remember that?

-Yeah. -Is that mom?

Yeah, that's your mother.

She was in Minsky's Burlesque. What a dancer, look at those legs.

-Oh, my... -She could lift that leg up so high,

-you'd think she was going to break in half. -[both laughing]

-Wasn't it wonderful? -That's where I must get it from.

-She's uh-- -Wait, wait, burlesque is that, that's like a stripper

-Yeah, That's like a stripper. -She was just like a stripper.

-It wasn't you know... -You never took your clothes off.

Oh, wait, it wasn't naked.

It wasn't naked, it was fancy, you know, it was like your behind thing

-Balloons and things. -Well, but there is nothing bad with taking your clothes off.

Well, no, not for the most part.

[all laughing]

So...

So, wait, you knew our aunt Maxine? I'm...

-Oh, yeah. Oh, no, we were... -Do you have her picture?

We were all friends. Let me see here.

Well, oh, wait, wait, wait...

Oh, yeah, look.

Right there.

Is that? Oh, my God.

-That's, is that Janice... -I haven't seen this in so long.

-Is that us? -Yeah, that's you.

[exclaiming excitedly]

Oh, my gosh. Oh!

Honey, look at that.

-You're like bigger than me. -Yeah...

And now, you're bigger than me.

[all laughing]

See how things turn when you look...

Yeah, but they stayed like that.

Oh, that's so funny.

Oh, look. Oh, my God.

That's Dickie.

[gasps] Oh, look.

Dickie. Do you remember Dickie?

-Look. -[Helene laughing]

You do.

Yeah.

I know. [Exclaiming]

Would you like to see him?

Oh, he's right around the corner.

We'll go see him.

-Oh, yeah. -Okay.

I hope he has his shirt off like he does in the picture.

[all laughing]

Oh, that's so funny.

-Oh, there he is. -Oh, wow.

He looks great.

[Dee Dee] He's so cute.

[Dickie] Hey! Hey, Dee Dee. How are you?

Actually it's Jenica.

Oh, Jenica, hey.

Yeah, nice to see you. I haven't seen you since I was like nine.

Well, I-I know, you were just... And look here now.

-You're gonna have a... -Gonna have a... No, what are you getting at?

-Oh, I'm sorry. -Just uh...

-Oh. -I'm kidding.

[laughing]

Jenica, you always were

-a kidder, weren't ya. -I guess I was.

Hey, come on in. Come on in.

-Come on in ladies. -Actually, I wanted to tell you um,

Helene, I don't know

if Jeannie told you, Helene's not in a good place.

-What, no. -She had a couple of strokes.

-Oh, I'm sorry. -Besides dad, you know,

-leavin' us sixteen years ago. -I know, I know...

-That broke my heart. -Yeah.

Um, do you mind getting in the car?

-You wanna visit just in the car? -Yeah.

-Well, sure, I guess... -That'd...

-I guess we could do that. -That would be great.

You know, Helene always did do it her way didn't she?

Didn't she,

I will get the door for you.

-Oh. -Young man.

Thank you madame.

-[Jeannie] Hi. -[Dickie] Hi Jeannie, how are you?

-[Dickie] Hi, Jeannie. Now, you're Jeannie. -[Jeannie] Hi.

-[Dickie] Oh, it's so good to see you. -[Jeannie] Nice to meet you too.

-Oh. -Thanks.

-And, Helene. -Dick.

Well, now, watch your language.

[laughing] Helene, you know... What happened to that sweet pa.

-Dick. -All right now.

-[Dee Dee] She remembers you. -[Dickie] Oh, ain't that sweet.

Helene, Helene,

do you remember some of the fine, fine parties we had.

[Jeannie] Yeah, how crazy, right?

Oh, you and John. You and John.

He was up there too on tables dancing with lamp shades.

Well, she'd be up there screaming at everybody,

"You're political idiots. You're infants."

Oh, I think that started to be the down fall when Bush went in to office.

-I know, I know... -Her whole attitude changed.

-It was great then. -[Jenica] She takes that stuff so seriously.

Oh, I know. Helene, do you remember those days?

-[Jeannie laughing] -Why are you so loud?

-[Helene passes wind] -All right now. [laughing]

-[Jeannie] She's talking to you. -[Dickie] Well, she sounds happy.

Shit! Okay, I think, I think we need to get on the road, Dick.

Well, it surely was good to see you.

-It was so good to see you. -Nice to see you.

-All right, I'm gonna come in and talk for a little bit. -Okay, come on in.

All right, see you later.

[Jenica] Bye Jeannie, it was good to see you.

[Dee Dee] It was good to see you guys.

-[Jeannie] Bye. -[Jenica] Bye.

-Bye, ladies. -[Jenica] Bye!

Don't trip on your caftan.

-[Dickie laughing] -[Jenica] Oh, boy.

[pop music playing]

All right kid.

She doesn't understand the concept of a seatbelt.

She's funny.

Bye, guys.

Can I use your lip gloss.

Really?

I like it.

Okay, here you go.

You know, I think maybe we should take mom to uh, I don't know, spruce her up.

Maybe get a make over. Look good for aunt Maxine.

She hasn't seen her in so long.

I think it'd be really be nice if she

looked nice.

I like that Idea.

-You do? -I do.

I know just the place.

[slow music playing]

-[door opens] -[bell tinkles]

[inaudible]

[inaudible]

[inaudible]

Um, okay.

Should we like, stop right here?

Can I help you?

Yeah, actually, uh, that would be great.

So, you need to come around.

And you need to lift from under her arm.

Are you ready?

-Yeah. -One, two, three...

[both grunting]

Oh, gosh. You do this all the time?

-[Helene grunting] -I do.

Okay, mom. She's okay.

Sorry.

-Stop. -Thank you.

-Oh, my gosh!. -Thank you.

You want me to take the wheel chair and put it back?

Yeah.

Yeah, that'd be great.

What?

Dee Dee, I was gonna surprise you.

-Shut up! -No.

No, no, no Dee Dee, you shut up.

-You shut up. -No, you shut up.

-You shut up. -You shut up!

Where did you get this suitcase?

No, no, no, the better question is why um...

am I always the asshole?

Calm down, you're being kind of a drama queen.

-Just put it in the car-- -I'm not a drama queen.

You're the drama queen.

You're the drama queen, all you care about is freakin money?

Does freakin' Satan with the tube socks even know there's a reunion?

Or was it all about the money, Jenica?

All about the money?

Dee Dee, it's...

-[clanging] -What? Are you gonna laugh, are you gonna laugh at me?

All right, it doesn't, it doesn't really open.

I haven't been able to open it.

Huh!

Listen, just give me the...

-Take it, take it. -Okay.

-Go ahead. Take it. -Why?

-Because... -Because what?

Because you are gonna make that baby turn into you.

Because you are gonna act and treat you daughter exactly like her.

Selfish,

secret...

Self, secret, drama queen.

You know what, stop. Secrets...

You have sex with people on camera Dee Dee.

Do you get that?

Why? Because your dad was shitty and my dad was great.

-It has nothing-- -Fuck you and your dad.

Get in the fucking car.

-We are going to see aunt Maxine. -I'm not going anywhere.

I'm not going anywhere.

You know what, I lived my life and I had fun living my life.

You know what, I'm... Give me the fucking suitcase.

Come on, take it. Take it.

[clanging]

[Dee Dee] Oh...

Fucking... My money.

[Dee Dee sobbing]

It was all a lie.

[Jenica] I remember when you were born.

And they brought you home, baby sister.

My best friend.

It changed, it changed her.

Let's just take our old

broad of a mother, to go see her old broad of a sister.

Before I have the baby, please.

-Please. -[both laughing]

[upbeat music playing]

[GPS system beeping] [woman] Well, hello there.

I am just keeping up with the Kardashians.

[Jenica] My sister Dee Dee's actually navigating this ship.

Well, see, I think that's great 'cause her heart was always in the right place.

I'm pretty sure you don't need me any more, do you?

Well, I'm good right now. Well, unless you know how to give birth?

Jenica, you've come to find out you don't know where the day'll take you?

So just enjoy.

[Helene] Shut up bitch.

[Jenica] My, word.

-What? Dee Dee? -Yeah?

How do I look?

-Uh, amazing. -Thank you.

[Jenica] What was that all about?

Well, aunt Maxine, she's so fancy.

What the fuck?

[laughs]

[upbeat music continues]

-Dee Dee. -Aunt Maxine.

[exclaims]

-Oh, you look so wonderful. -Thank you.

So good to see you.

-Helene. -Oh, my God.

You look so old.

[laughing]

[both laughing]

[both sobbing]

[both sniffing]

You took all fucking day to get here.

[laughing]

Ah, Jenica!

[laughing]

Hippopotamus.

[both sobbing]

[Jenica continues sobbing]

You... you... you said...

you said that your butt was broken.

[crying]

Oh, honey!

All my butts are broken.

[exclaiming]

[all laughing]

Can... Can we come in?

Um... I've... I've got it.

I made ambrosia.

You girls follow up to the back patio.

Okay.

[Jenica] Wow, I haven't seen this place in eighteen years.

Welcome home.

It feels...

smaller.

[laughing]

Because you've gotten bigger.

Um-hm.

-So, these are my cousins? -Yeah.

Um-hm.

All your family.

Our family.

[instrumental music playing]

Look.

-[Dee Dee laughing] [Jenica] That's mom.

That's Auntie.

I guess that's me

and that's you.

You're grabbing my breasts there.

No, that's actually me trying to grab your breast

and having a very difficult time.

[laughing] Which is really not much.

Well, Helene looked like you.

Would you like a hot dog, Helene?

She actually, she is not hard of hearing.

Oh!

Would you like a hot dog?

It's really kind of hard for her to eat without uh, a nurse

with us but we... Mom, let's just try.

There you go. There, down the hatch.

[laughing]

She always loved ambrosia.

So...

So, there's, there's no...

No money?

When Ted died and I had to go back to work.

I had to look after my two daughters, I had to move away.

So, I handed it over to Helene.

So my dad,

before he died said that she spent it all on a trip to Paris?

-Hmm. -There was some gay guy from T.J.Maxx.

He was gay?

She was always a fan.

First I knew of it.

Helene?

-You remember? -[Helene] Who?

When your John, John who we all loved,

-your dad, um-hm. -[Jenica] My dad.

Your dad, when he died

and I went to you and I asked you for a loan

of five thousand dollars.

-Um-hm. Do you remember? -For what?

I wanted to buy a boat.

[softly] I wanted to buy a boat.

-Five thousand dollars for a boat? -Yes.

That's the only thing I ever wanted in my entire life

and what did you do?

[Jenica and Dee Dee laughing]

-She's in there. -Exactly, that's what she did.

She refused me.

So, wait, that's it.

That's why you're not talking.

That's all there was.

Five grand.

And we didn't speak after that.

I mean, what more was there to say?

She refused me, my own sister.

Whom I still love.

-She did... -She's not hard of hearing.

I still love her.

You want to give me a hand in the kitchen, huh?

[Jenica] Certainly, um...

But we can't... She can't have anything that she can choke on.

Like a hot dog, or almonds or...

-Any of those things. -How about a cup of cocoa?

Hot chocolate?

Hot chocolate.

It's very hard to know.

Very hard to decipher.

-Love you. -I'll help you. I'll help you in the kitchen.

We'll make some coffee.

[Helene] Love you.

[Jenica exhales]

So, how can I...

help?

She's my barnacle.

What am I going to do when she's gone?

Well, you'll know.

You'll be a mother then.

[melodious music playing]

♪

[Josh] Oh, my gosh. Here she comes.

-Hi. -I thought you could take home some ambrosia.

-Oh, great. Thank you. -[Jenica] Oh, thank you.

-[Josh] Was just thinking that. -[all laughing]

[Josh speakin indistinctly]

Many years ago

your mom said to me,

"I don't care what my girls do to me,

but I want to be sure

that they get this when I'm gone."

[exclaiming]

Is this the money from the suitcase?

It's to late to ask Helene now, huh?

-Love you. -Thank you.

[upbeat music playing]

We can go to Venice.

[exhales]

Got it.

-[Josh] That's a lot of money. -That's...

That's a shit load of money.

[Josh] Wow!

[Jenica] Ready?

[Josh] Yeah, ready.

-[Jenica] Can you start to fire this bad boy up. -Uh...

[Josh] Uh, just...

[heavy metal music playing]

[man's voice over GPS] Where to, big papa?

I prefer the Slim Shady.

The real Slim Shady.

-Oh, man, I sound white there, huh? - Sure enough you did.

Uh, are there any sig alerts?

-It's all clear big daddy. -All right.

Good to go.

[Baby crying]

[baby crying]

-Do you love that sound. -[Josh] I love it, I love it.

-[baby crying] -[Josh speaking indistinctly]

[woman speaking indistinctly]

She's perfect.

[Josh] You're perfect.

I love you, sweetie.

-She's beautiful. -How long do we have to wait for the next one?

[exhales]

I'm just kidding.

-I'll give you a week. -Oh, my God. Look at her.

[exclaiming excitedly] Look at her.

Her eyes are open. Her eyes are open.

[Josh] Hi!

[Jenica laughing]

Oh, she's looking right at you.

Oh!

Aww.

I love you. I already love you.

You want another one?

I was talking on her behalf saying, I want another one.

Welcome to your daddy.

[Josh] Yeah, me and you have the same thing on our minds.

I know. [shushing]

You want me to bring the girls in?

-They're here... -They're... I know they're

They ran away. They're right outside.

They're right out side. okay, come on inside.

[Dee Dee] Oh, hi, pie face.

Oh, hi precious.

Oh, she's perfect.

-Congratulations, daddy. -Thank you. Thank you.

-How you feel? -Did good.

-Um... -[baby cooing]

-Where's Doug? -Oh, Doug's here.

-He's here somewhere. -Doug?

Okay, I should maybe mention, well...

He thought that the baby would like the bunny thing.

[machine beeping]

It's so silly the way that everybody's talking about you.

It's as if you're not even here.

Are you gonna make silly?

Hi, Doug.

-Good to see you. -Congratulations, Daddy.

I just pushed a nine pound baby out of my

-hoo-hoo. -[Dee Dee] What do you think?

-Oh, my God. -I know.

Happy birthday.

Oh, bless you though little stinky.

She's absolutely fine. I've got her.

-Well... -[baby crying]

no that's not her.

We're in a baby park.

There's ton's of babies here.

She's fine, she's taking a nap right now.

She's good.

Yeah, okay, I will.

Okay, I got to go.

Blue head band matches.

Your favorite ones Eve that I got you

that you're gonna love, this is gonna be your favorite saying,

"I love my auntie."

I love my aunty.

[exhales]

You thought I was gonna put it on you, huh?

You thought I was gonna put this hat on you?

[exclaims]

Okay, let's put it on you. All right, it's your hat. I admit it, it's your hat.

Oh, you look so cute.

You look like... Oh, you don't like the hat, you don't like the hat.

I don't like it either. It didn't feel good.

I couldn't agree more.

I didn't like the way this hat felt.

Okay, all right, I got to go.

Ice cream, no the ice cream truck is here.

Don't... No, no, don't you talk to me about that. You're the one who needs...

Yeah, no, I am saying that you do...

-[crying] -No, you have. Even before the baby you needed to.

I'm fine.

I'm fine, you're the one. You're... No you...

Can I put the... Shall I put the hat on.

Okay, here I come.

Oh!

[grunting]

Okay.

All right.

Woo-woo!

Are you ready to go?

Ears, let's put these ears on.

-[crying] -Oh, don't like those either. Here look.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Jenica.

How much time do I have to do this?

Oh, gosh.

You...

You need your diaper changed, right?

-[baby cooing] -I... What are you saying?