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1
00:00:14,295 --> 00:00:15,582
Oh, shit.
2
00:00:15,665 --> 00:00:16,784
Gwen?
3
00:00:16,867 --> 00:00:19,255
You don't know it's Gwen.
4
00:00:19,338 --> 00:00:21,627
You put your do not disturb on
bypass. It's obviously Gwen. Pick it up.
5
00:00:21,710 --> 00:00:25,435
No, no, no. I'm-I'm-I'm serious.
I'm gonna unplug this weekend.
6
00:00:25,518 --> 00:00:27,573
-Focused on you.
-Shut up.
7
00:00:27,656 --> 00:00:30,044
Connect with your beautiful
boyfriend. Look at me in this shirt.
8
00:00:30,127 --> 00:00:32,214
Your tits look amazing.
9
00:00:32,297 --> 00:00:34,385
Thank you. I planned this trip so
that we could focus on me and you.
10
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:37,726
And, you know, enjoy the
gorgeous Blanco Lakeside Village.
11
00:00:37,809 --> 00:00:40,498
Oh, the Blanco Lakeside
Village. I mean, even the name.
12
00:00:40,581 --> 00:00:44,607
It's-It's blowing me away, frankly.
But you promise, just us. No work?
13
00:00:44,690 --> 00:00:47,311
No work, no school
and no fighting.
14
00:00:47,394 --> 00:00:49,415
No bickering, okay? I promise.
15
00:00:49,498 --> 00:00:54,092
We'll just vibe. Living, loving.
16
00:00:54,175 --> 00:00:56,464
Maybe even laughing
if you're lucky.
17
00:00:56,547 --> 00:00:59,235
♪ Na-na, na-na, na-na
Na-na-na-na now ♪
18
00:00:59,318 --> 00:01:00,739
♪ Baby, give it up ♪
19
00:01:00,822 --> 00:01:04,212
♪ Give it up Baby, give it up ♪
20
00:01:04,295 --> 00:01:06,817
♪ Na-na, na-na, na-na
Na-na-na-na now ♪
21
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,655
♪ Baby, give it up ♪
22
00:01:08,738 --> 00:01:10,792
Listen up, nobody
wants to be here today, okay?
23
00:01:10,875 --> 00:01:13,798
You think I wanna be here on a
Saturday spending time administering
24
00:01:13,881 --> 00:01:16,102
a standardized test to you?
Hell no!
25
00:01:16,185 --> 00:01:18,340
Full disclosure,
26
00:01:18,423 --> 00:01:21,212
I'm supposed to be at my buddy's
post-divorce pub crawl right now, okay?
27
00:01:21,295 --> 00:01:22,649
That's where I'm supposed to be.
28
00:01:22,732 --> 00:01:25,422
But no, I'm here with you
all lovely students
29
00:01:25,505 --> 00:01:28,544
administering this test because
standardized testing is important.
30
00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:33,738
Let's move this along,
Bert and Ernie. Come on.
31
00:01:33,821 --> 00:01:35,742
So, you know the rules.
32
00:01:35,825 --> 00:01:39,148
No talking,
no cheating, and def...
33
00:01:39,231 --> 00:01:41,454
-What?
-Where's Chelsea at?
34
00:01:41,537 --> 00:01:44,727
Um. Chelsea has a special accommodation
that allows her to take the test alone.
35
00:01:44,810 --> 00:01:46,278
-Why?
-Rick?
36
00:01:49,251 --> 00:01:51,206
Right. Um,
she has a learning disorder.
37
00:01:51,289 --> 00:01:52,843
Dude, I whispered
38
00:01:52,926 --> 00:01:54,513
-'cause you're not supposed to say that.
-What?
39
00:01:54,596 --> 00:01:55,615
Being bat shit
isn't a disability.
40
00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:57,118
Don't say "bat shit."
41
00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:58,588
Chelsea's not even crazy though.
42
00:01:58,671 --> 00:02:00,659
She's got ADHD
and mild dyslexia.
43
00:02:00,742 --> 00:02:02,829
-Who doesn't?
-Jeff, that's so mean.
44
00:02:02,912 --> 00:02:05,401
Nobody's more sympathetic
to Chelsea's pain than me.
45
00:02:05,484 --> 00:02:06,771
I used to help her sell
her meds last year.
46
00:02:06,854 --> 00:02:08,508
Jeff, we talked about this.
47
00:02:08,591 --> 00:02:11,781
No, Chelsea is special
because she's on Concerta.
48
00:02:11,864 --> 00:02:13,918
No, you're not listening.
She's not on Concerta.
49
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:16,673
She sells it to people.
That's the problem.
50
00:02:17,809 --> 00:02:19,863
Oh, wow.
She brought her own rug?
51
00:02:19,946 --> 00:02:23,403
Her test exceptions allow her
to bring up to six personal items
52
00:02:23,486 --> 00:02:28,347
to make her feel more comfortable, and she
has chosen as one of them a rug.
53
00:02:28,430 --> 00:02:29,883
Do you need help
setting up, Chels?
54
00:02:29,966 --> 00:02:32,288
I'll let you know
when I need assistance, Miss.
55
00:02:32,371 --> 00:02:34,560
Oh, my God.
Yeah, whatever you need.
56
00:02:34,643 --> 00:02:37,532
Are rugs technically a personal
item? It feels kind of like furniture.
57
00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:39,803
Not the hill I'm gonna die on.
58
00:02:39,886 --> 00:02:42,308
Isn't it so nice that we live in a
world where kids like this are given
59
00:02:42,391 --> 00:02:43,945
the space and time
they need to thrive?
60
00:02:44,028 --> 00:02:45,915
Mm-hmm.
61
00:02:45,998 --> 00:02:47,686
You know she's gonna ace this
test. She's basically a genius.
62
00:02:47,769 --> 00:02:49,823
She definitely has...
...issues for sure.
63
00:02:49,906 --> 00:02:52,596
But can you imagine
how her genius would be untapped
64
00:02:52,679 --> 00:02:54,566
back in the early 20th century
'cause people didn't understand it?
65
00:02:54,649 --> 00:02:55,869
Mm-hmm.
66
00:02:55,952 --> 00:02:57,906
You almost ready, Chelsea?
67
00:02:57,989 --> 00:02:59,443
You're not allowed
to ask me that.
68
00:02:59,526 --> 00:03:01,514
Oh, G... Okay.
Of course, of course.
69
00:03:01,597 --> 00:03:04,653
I mean, they've taken every tool
we have to implement discipline.
70
00:03:04,736 --> 00:03:06,356
See, she's advocating
for herself.
71
00:03:06,439 --> 00:03:07,759
-She's advocating.
-Yeah, she is. Yeah, she is.
72
00:03:07,842 --> 00:03:08,961
Excuse me.
73
00:03:09,044 --> 00:03:10,765
I'm still a bit chilly.
74
00:03:10,848 --> 00:03:12,268
Do you think we could crank
the heat all the way up
75
00:03:12,351 --> 00:03:14,321
so I can perform
at my peak potential?
76
00:03:15,023 --> 00:03:18,346
Absolutely.
Whatever you need, girl.
77
00:03:18,429 --> 00:03:20,618
Oh, no. No, no, no.
78
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,437
Oh, God al...
79
00:03:23,541 --> 00:03:25,260
This is nice, right?
80
00:03:25,343 --> 00:03:27,198
Hi. What?
81
00:03:27,281 --> 00:03:29,335
They're looking at...
They're looking at us.
82
00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:31,206
-That's what people do. They're waving.
-Two guys on a boat.
83
00:03:31,289 --> 00:03:33,511
-It's all good.
-Just relax.
84
00:03:33,594 --> 00:03:35,982
I think I just need to, like,
give in to this because, like, I'm...
85
00:03:36,065 --> 00:03:38,721
I feel myself actively getting
less cool in every moment.
86
00:03:38,804 --> 00:03:41,861
Oh, Malcolm.
You don't have to be cool.
87
00:03:41,944 --> 00:03:43,998
Hot take. Incorrect but hot.
88
00:03:44,081 --> 00:03:45,902
I guess I didn't think
it would be so touristy.
89
00:03:45,985 --> 00:03:47,655
You know what?
It's giving Groupon.
90
00:03:48,524 --> 00:03:51,362
It's giving Groupon in a major way.
91
00:03:51,997 --> 00:03:53,416
Do you wanna just go back in?
92
00:03:53,499 --> 00:03:54,453
Is that okay?
93
00:03:54,536 --> 00:03:55,955
Yeah.
94
00:03:56,038 --> 00:03:57,598
-Let's just binge TV in the room.
-Yeah.
95
00:03:58,076 --> 00:04:01,983
You have exactly three hours.
Starting in three, two, one.
96
00:04:13,339 --> 00:04:14,760
What are you doing?
97
00:04:14,843 --> 00:04:16,464
I'm taking a test.
Leave me alone.
98
00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:17,732
What the hell you mean
you're taking the test?
99
00:04:17,815 --> 00:04:18,768
You're not allowed
to take the test.
100
00:04:18,851 --> 00:04:19,870
Who cares? Go.
101
00:04:19,953 --> 00:04:21,907
I care. What do you mean...
102
00:04:21,990 --> 00:04:23,878
You're supposed to be
monitoring these kids with me, man.
103
00:04:23,961 --> 00:04:26,049
-This is important to me, please.
-Can we talk in the hall?
104
00:04:26,132 --> 00:04:27,586
-Dude, get out of my life for a second.
-Come talk to me in the hall.
105
00:04:27,669 --> 00:04:29,021
Rick, hall. Now.
106
00:04:29,104 --> 00:04:30,525
Stop.
107
00:04:30,608 --> 00:04:31,861
-What are you doing?
-Whoa.
108
00:04:31,944 --> 00:04:33,631
You're breaking my arm.
Okay, okay.
109
00:04:33,714 --> 00:04:35,502
-We're trying to take a test.
-Ah! He tickled me.
110
00:04:35,585 --> 00:04:37,387
-What is this?
-Take your tests.
111
00:04:37,922 --> 00:04:39,491
Let's keep testing.
112
00:04:41,697 --> 00:04:43,618
Let me go.
113
00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:45,403
We can't be having this.
114
00:04:48,911 --> 00:04:50,514
Just test... Just keep testing.
115
00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:55,441
Just tell me
what the hell is going on.
116
00:04:55,524 --> 00:04:59,483
Look, I'm taking the test
because I just like learning.
117
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,654
That's bullshit.
You hate reading, dude.
118
00:05:01,737 --> 00:05:03,390
What is it?
119
00:05:03,473 --> 00:05:06,445
I made a bet, okay?
There's this junior, Connor.
120
00:05:07,180 --> 00:05:10,872
I bet him that I'd get
a better test score. Happy?
121
00:05:10,955 --> 00:05:14,312
You made a bet
with a student for money?
122
00:05:14,395 --> 00:05:16,316
Yeah, dude.
That's how bets work.
123
00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,421
What do you think we bet?
A fucking crab cake?
124
00:05:18,504 --> 00:05:19,890
I know how bets work, man.
125
00:05:19,973 --> 00:05:22,495
Who cares? I made a little bet.
I love gambling.
126
00:05:22,578 --> 00:05:24,816
I literally thank God every day
that it's not addictive.
127
00:05:25,818 --> 00:05:28,474
Fine. You wanna take the test?
Go take the test.
128
00:05:28,557 --> 00:05:30,745
-Thank you. Yes.
-Okay? But no disruptions.
129
00:05:30,828 --> 00:05:31,814
-Okay, deal.
-None.
130
00:05:31,897 --> 00:05:34,051
But here's the deal.
131
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:35,522
You owe me extra time at the end
of the test due to this interruption.
132
00:05:35,605 --> 00:05:36,640
No.
133
00:05:38,677 --> 00:05:39,946
I need an EpiPen.
134
00:05:41,182 --> 00:05:42,469
-What?
-What?
135
00:05:42,552 --> 00:05:44,005
I need an EpiPen.
136
00:05:44,088 --> 00:05:45,975
Oh, my God.
Are you... Are you okay?
137
00:05:46,058 --> 00:05:47,913
You're not allowed
to ask me that.
138
00:05:47,996 --> 00:05:50,485
Yes, and I apologize. I usually
have one on me, but I don't.
139
00:05:50,568 --> 00:05:53,824
I will text somebody to bring
it to you. I'm so sorry.
140
00:05:53,907 --> 00:05:56,697
Thank you. And I'll take a
sparkling water too while you're at it.
141
00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:58,099
Yes, coming up right away.
142
00:05:58,182 --> 00:05:59,636
EpiPen and Lacroix?
143
00:05:59,719 --> 00:06:01,840
-This is bullshit.
-What?
144
00:06:01,923 --> 00:06:04,011
I'm admitting
that this is bullshit.
145
00:06:04,094 --> 00:06:06,917
Between you and me,
she doesn't want an EpiPen.
146
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,821
She doesn't want water.
She doesn't want a rug.
147
00:06:08,904 --> 00:06:10,658
She doesn't want any of it.
She doesn't want it.
148
00:06:10,741 --> 00:06:12,394
What... What does she want?
149
00:06:12,477 --> 00:06:14,065
The most addictive thing
in the universe.
150
00:06:14,148 --> 00:06:16,402
-5-Hour Energy?
-What? Power!
151
00:06:16,485 --> 00:06:17,939
Guys, let's keep an eye
on the talking.
152
00:06:18,022 --> 00:06:20,878
Power, Gwen.
And we're giving it to her.
153
00:06:20,961 --> 00:06:22,482
-I see your point...
-Yeah.
154
00:06:22,565 --> 00:06:24,853
...but Chelsea
has real problems.
155
00:06:24,936 --> 00:06:27,391
Oh, please. No one is saying
that she doesn't have any problems,
156
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:29,630
but we used to deal
with problems differently.
157
00:06:29,713 --> 00:06:31,065
Kids used to have grit.
158
00:06:31,148 --> 00:06:32,969
My parents raised me
to deal with reality.
159
00:06:33,052 --> 00:06:35,942
Oh, if this was 1985, we'd have
so much more to work with.
160
00:06:36,025 --> 00:06:41,787
EpiPen! My allergy
is getting worse.
161
00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:43,991
-And what's the allergy?
-You're not allowed to ask me that.
162
00:06:44,074 --> 00:06:45,695
-You're not allowed to ask her that.
-What?
163
00:06:45,778 --> 00:06:47,782
No, that's actually true.
It's a HIPAA violation.
164
00:06:49,786 --> 00:06:52,758
I relate so much to every
character on And Just Like That.
165
00:06:53,694 --> 00:06:55,615
What?
166
00:06:55,698 --> 00:06:57,619
I relate so much to every
character on And Just Like That.
167
00:06:57,702 --> 00:06:58,704
What?
168
00:06:59,205 --> 00:07:01,627
Oh, you relate so much
to every character
169
00:07:01,710 --> 00:07:04,131
-on And Just Like That.
-And Just Like That. Yeah.
170
00:07:04,214 --> 00:07:06,904
That's just a crazy sentence
to understand.
171
00:07:06,987 --> 00:07:08,941
I just feel like one day
we're gonna, like,
172
00:07:09,024 --> 00:07:11,480
be in our 50s and be like, fuck.
173
00:07:11,563 --> 00:07:15,421
-Like, where did the time go, you know?
-Uh-huh.
174
00:07:15,504 --> 00:07:18,561
Charlotte's up
to her own stuff still.
175
00:07:18,644 --> 00:07:22,101
Don't even get me started
on Carrie. That mess.
176
00:07:22,184 --> 00:07:25,441
We're just watching TV
in the room, huh?
177
00:07:25,524 --> 00:07:28,179
Yo, her man a. What's up?
178
00:07:28,262 --> 00:07:30,752
Yo, papi. How's the hotel?
179
00:07:30,835 --> 00:07:33,658
How's your big getaway,
wherever you are?
180
00:07:33,741 --> 00:07:35,227
I'm forgetting.
181
00:07:35,310 --> 00:07:37,499
It's good. It's-It's cute.
How's everything there?
182
00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,101
I still feel like
I'm letting you guys down.
183
00:07:39,184 --> 00:07:43,143
No, everything's fine. We have
everything under control.
184
00:07:43,226 --> 00:07:44,913
How's Chelsea? Is she behaving?
185
00:07:44,996 --> 00:07:46,850
Yeah, it's manageable.
More or less. Yeah.
186
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:49,589
Yeah. No, no, it's great.
We're Chelsea's employees.
187
00:07:49,672 --> 00:07:51,527
I can hear you up there.
188
00:07:51,610 --> 00:07:53,831
How crazy is she being? Is she,
like, faking an allergy yet?
189
00:07:53,914 --> 00:07:56,069
No, I know what you're doing. You're
trying to work while you're on vacation.
190
00:07:56,152 --> 00:07:59,075
-No, don't hang up.
-Go enjoy. Enjoy your days off.
191
00:08:01,563 --> 00:08:03,551
Wait, so why is Rick taking
the test?
192
00:08:03,634 --> 00:08:05,087
He made a bet with some kid.
193
00:08:05,170 --> 00:08:07,157
He made a bet...
He should not be doing that.
194
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,994
He literally has
a gambling addiction.
195
00:08:09,077 --> 00:08:11,834
Evan, chill out, man.
Seriously, enjoy your vacation.
196
00:08:11,917 --> 00:08:13,971
Go get in one
of them big bathtubs, right?
197
00:08:14,054 --> 00:08:15,942
Those big brass bathtubs.
They got those, right?
198
00:08:16,025 --> 00:08:18,213
The ones like
in Red Dead Redemption.
199
00:08:18,296 --> 00:08:20,083
-Wait, I have another question.
-No. You don't have any more questions.
200
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,754
Okay, but just text me
if anything else hap...
201
00:08:21,837 --> 00:08:23,958
See you Monday. God.
202
00:08:25,611 --> 00:08:26,597
Okay.
203
00:08:29,084 --> 00:08:30,805
This is ridiculous.
204
00:08:30,888 --> 00:08:33,009
No, I think this is great.
It's a reasonable request.
205
00:08:33,092 --> 00:08:34,880
She wants
to get her blood flowing.
206
00:08:34,963 --> 00:08:37,552
Oh. You're so nice, you know? Too nice.
207
00:08:37,635 --> 00:08:40,625
She's taking advantage of us.
She's taking advantage of you.
208
00:08:40,708 --> 00:08:43,063
I don't know. I think
different people learn in different ways,
209
00:08:43,146 --> 00:08:45,033
like my boyfriend, Nick.
210
00:08:45,116 --> 00:08:47,906
He recently had this idea to
build a rent able pickleball court
211
00:08:47,989 --> 00:08:49,810
on top of this pool
that he built in our backyard.
212
00:08:49,893 --> 00:08:51,145
-Yes. The pool that he...
-In the backyard.
213
00:08:51,228 --> 00:08:52,916
But now he's building
on top of it.
214
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:54,519
-That's very interesting. Yeah.
-Exactly, exactly.
215
00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:56,657
So I'm just saying, like,
he's not a thinker.
216
00:08:56,740 --> 00:08:59,830
He doesn't take the time to
think about the pros and cons.
217
00:08:59,913 --> 00:09:01,800
He really has to get in there
218
00:09:01,883 --> 00:09:03,804
and actually build it
with his hands
219
00:09:03,887 --> 00:09:06,744
-before he figures out if it's...
-If it's a good idea or not.
220
00:09:06,827 --> 00:09:08,914
Yes.
221
00:09:08,997 --> 00:09:11,185
I don't like to get, you know,
mixed up into personal relationships,
222
00:09:11,268 --> 00:09:14,325
but I am willing to offer you my
perspective if and only if you ask for it.
223
00:09:14,408 --> 00:09:15,828
Yeah, I want that. I want that.
224
00:09:15,911 --> 00:09:17,832
You're not tough enough
with Nick.
225
00:09:17,915 --> 00:09:20,337
I mean, this is, what, his
second, like, idiotic experiment?
226
00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:22,942
And what a waste
of what I assume is your money.
227
00:09:23,025 --> 00:09:25,882
Well, he had $11,000 from his
job when he started the pool.
228
00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:27,752
Okay, now how far did
that get him?
229
00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:29,890
The third of the way through
the pool project.
230
00:09:29,973 --> 00:09:31,894
That's exactly right, because
these are flights of fancy, Gwendolyn.
231
00:09:31,977 --> 00:09:33,329
Yeah.
232
00:09:33,412 --> 00:09:34,866
That's what happens
when we coddle people.
233
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,605
You need to sit him down
gently and say,
234
00:09:37,688 --> 00:09:39,676
"Time to stop playing around.
235
00:09:39,759 --> 00:09:42,649
Get a job. Work in a bank.
Try Amway."
236
00:09:42,732 --> 00:09:44,251
Can you guys keep it
down, please?
237
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:46,890
Are you ready yet, Chelsea?
Ready to go?
238
00:09:46,973 --> 00:09:48,810
-Stop talking.
-Sorry.
239
00:09:51,448 --> 00:09:56,693
"PX equals negative 25X squared
plus 500X minus 1,200."
240
00:09:57,161 --> 00:09:59,197
This is like the fucking
funny pages.
241
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:01,769
Psst! Psst!
242
00:10:02,136 --> 00:10:03,773
Teacher. Psst.
243
00:10:05,310 --> 00:10:06,713
-What?
-Help me out.
244
00:10:07,114 --> 00:10:09,201
-Help you out with what?
-The fucking test.
245
00:10:09,284 --> 00:10:11,607
Are you kidding me? I'm letting
you take the test. How about that?
246
00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:13,176
Dude, this shit's hard as hell.
247
00:10:13,259 --> 00:10:15,213
When I was a kid, it was like,
"Three times seven.
248
00:10:15,296 --> 00:10:17,251
What sound does a dog make?"
That type of shit.
249
00:10:17,334 --> 00:10:20,691
"What sound does a dog make?"
That was on the test you took?
250
00:10:20,774 --> 00:10:22,829
Dude, just go up to Erica.
She's smart as hell.
251
00:10:22,912 --> 00:10:25,200
-We can hear you.
-Turn around. Take your test.
252
00:10:25,283 --> 00:10:27,705
-Be quiet.
-You're cheating off me.
253
00:10:27,788 --> 00:10:29,057
Deirdre, ignore him.
254
00:10:29,592 --> 00:10:31,345
-Hey. You just tried to kiss me.
-Rick.
255
00:10:31,428 --> 00:10:32,982
-No, I didn't.
-He's trying to kiss me, y'all.
256
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:34,100
Oh, God. Oh...
257
00:10:36,105 --> 00:10:39,896
Evan, could I borrow your bowl
to show to the other students?
258
00:10:39,979 --> 00:10:42,134
-Yeah, if you think it's good.
-I do.
259
00:10:42,217 --> 00:10:45,207
-You are a phenomenal student.
-Thank you.
260
00:10:45,290 --> 00:10:46,677
That's so nice.
261
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:49,048
Okay.
262
00:10:49,131 --> 00:10:51,252
It's all actu... No, no, I'm
understanding a lot right now.
263
00:10:51,335 --> 00:10:52,956
-What?
-Why you're a teacher in general.
264
00:10:53,039 --> 00:10:55,260
You're, like,
a quintessential teacher's pet.
265
00:10:55,343 --> 00:10:57,899
-I'm not a teacher's pet.
-Yes, you are.
266
00:10:57,982 --> 00:11:00,237
Stop being jealous. Yes, I like
teachers. I like learning.
267
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:01,907
That's why I became a teacher.
268
00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:03,409
I'm sorry that your job
isn't your calling.
269
00:11:03,492 --> 00:11:05,247
You don't have to be jealous
that mine is.
270
00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:08,019
Whoa. Okay. You don't have
to come for my career.
271
00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:09,756
That's, like,
not where we were at all.
272
00:11:09,839 --> 00:11:11,894
It's not even a career.
You said that yourself.
273
00:11:11,977 --> 00:11:15,133
You didn't have a lifelong
passion for brand strategies in tech.
274
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:18,373
Yeah, well, I had a lifelong
strategy to actually make money.
275
00:11:18,456 --> 00:11:20,343
Which does benefit you
when we go out to dinner,
276
00:11:20,426 --> 00:11:22,180
and I pay for the check
more than half the time.
277
00:11:22,263 --> 00:11:23,884
You don't have to pay
for the bill ever.
278
00:11:23,967 --> 00:11:25,721
I don't ever need to go
to expensive dinners.
279
00:11:25,804 --> 00:11:27,759
I go to those
because you want me to.
280
00:11:27,842 --> 00:11:30,397
Yeah, and you always order the
omakase. You don't get the rolls.
281
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:34,154
Just saying you have expensive
tastes, so maybe don't complain.
282
00:11:34,623 --> 00:11:37,126
Okay. I'm...
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
283
00:11:37,861 --> 00:11:41,152
This is really fun.
Are you having fun?
284
00:11:42,938 --> 00:11:45,828
Oh, my gosh, pottery?
So earthy, so fun.
285
00:11:45,911 --> 00:11:48,767
It's fun. Yeah, it's fun.
What's Chelsea been doing?
286
00:11:48,850 --> 00:11:51,321
She's good. She started
taking the test, so, um...
287
00:11:51,756 --> 00:11:54,144
-She left for lunch, Evan.
-Oh, my God, Grant.
288
00:11:54,227 --> 00:11:56,115
She took an Uber.
I gave her $40.
289
00:11:56,198 --> 00:11:58,119
Oh, God.
290
00:11:58,202 --> 00:12:00,223
Evan. I literally can't believe
you right now. What's going on?
291
00:12:00,306 --> 00:12:02,394
Malcolm, we were sitting
in there bickering, okay?
292
00:12:02,477 --> 00:12:04,899
I thought it would be good
to give it ten minutes.
293
00:12:04,982 --> 00:12:07,972
And then I thought I would call school
for a second to see how they were doing.
294
00:12:08,055 --> 00:12:10,310
Just say it.
You left our couple's activity
295
00:12:10,393 --> 00:12:12,381
to fucking call Gwen 'cause
you like her better than me.
296
00:12:12,464 --> 00:12:14,886
You always have
to stir some shit up.
297
00:12:14,969 --> 00:12:17,391
Like, finding something to
fight about. You're ridiculous.
298
00:12:17,474 --> 00:12:20,831
You were stirring shit up
just now with the omakase.
299
00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:23,871
How did we fail so hard
at this trip already?
300
00:12:23,954 --> 00:12:25,808
Let's just go, please?
301
00:12:25,891 --> 00:12:27,745
Okay, we can head out.
302
00:12:27,828 --> 00:12:28,997
Thank you.
303
00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:31,887
I do need to stop at school though first.
304
00:12:31,970 --> 00:12:33,791
-Are you fucking kidding me?
-Oh, well, you're...
305
00:12:33,874 --> 00:12:35,476
you're wearing an insane hat.
306
00:12:36,278 --> 00:12:38,166
It's not insane.
307
00:12:38,249 --> 00:12:41,440
Fucking stupid. How do you not
know what fucking opaque means?
308
00:12:41,523 --> 00:12:42,809
Oh, shit.
309
00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:44,813
Dude, what the...
310
00:12:44,896 --> 00:12:47,284
Dude, this fucking thing keeps
coming off. This place is a dump.
311
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,388
You gotta chill
the fuck out, buddy.
312
00:12:49,471 --> 00:12:52,762
Seriously, what is the big deal
here, man? Is this about the bet?
313
00:12:52,845 --> 00:12:54,849
-How much was it?
-Fifty bucks.
314
00:12:55,718 --> 00:12:59,041
You know what?
Because it's a Saturday and...
315
00:12:59,124 --> 00:13:01,178
Yeah, here you go, man.
You good?
316
00:13:01,261 --> 00:13:03,149
Listen, dude,
it's not about the money!
317
00:13:03,232 --> 00:13:05,353
These kids think I'm stupid!
318
00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:08,192
Just because I have a casual,
chill approach to life,
319
00:13:08,275 --> 00:13:12,200
and I'm not always flexing my,
like... my, you know, my, uh...
320
00:13:12,283 --> 00:13:14,138
-Intellect.
-Right,
321
00:13:14,221 --> 00:13:17,945
my intellect up in everyone's
face, but maybe they're right.
322
00:13:18,028 --> 00:13:19,348
Maybe I am stupid.
323
00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:21,787
Maybe I'm too stupid
to even know I'm stupid.
324
00:13:21,870 --> 00:13:24,091
Come on, man.
325
00:13:24,174 --> 00:13:27,094
I never should have made a
bet with that punk-ass Connor Jeffers.
326
00:13:28,048 --> 00:13:29,536
-Connor Jeffers?
-Yeah.
327
00:13:29,619 --> 00:13:31,272
That's who you made the bet
with? The 11th grader?
328
00:13:31,355 --> 00:13:33,276
Yeah.
329
00:13:33,359 --> 00:13:35,213
That little shit started a rumor
that I don't brush my teeth.
330
00:13:35,296 --> 00:13:37,250
Which I do, by the way,
just not at night.
331
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:39,154
-Nobody brushes their teeth at night.
-Thank you.
332
00:13:39,237 --> 00:13:41,976
He's starting shit with me.
He's starting shit with you.
333
00:13:42,477 --> 00:13:44,532
You know, Rick?
The smart thing in life
334
00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:48,122
is to know which battles to fight
and which battles to walk away from.
335
00:13:48,924 --> 00:13:51,863
-So let's go cheat on this fucking test.
-Yes!
336
00:14:01,281 --> 00:14:02,518
What?
337
00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:13,924
If you have COVID, you gotta
back up. I'm not vaccinated.
338
00:14:14,007 --> 00:14:15,967
Don't worry about it.
Worry about your test, okay?
339
00:14:18,182 --> 00:14:19,350
Twenty-four.
340
00:14:21,455 --> 00:14:24,111
Bro, do you have tuberculosis
or what?
341
00:14:24,194 --> 00:14:26,148
-What the fuck?
-Yeah, what the fuck?
342
00:14:26,231 --> 00:14:27,852
Yeah, it's treatable, okay?
Don't worry about it.
343
00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:29,923
Well, treat it.
You're scaring all the hos.
344
00:14:30,006 --> 00:14:32,428
You know what? Next word out of
you, and you're out. Go, focus.
345
00:14:32,511 --> 00:14:34,548
-I feel the mist.
-Shh.
346
00:14:37,655 --> 00:14:39,576
All right, that's time.
347
00:14:39,659 --> 00:14:42,147
I missed the last question
'cause of your dumb coughing.
348
00:14:42,230 --> 00:14:44,953
Well, people cough in real
life, okay, Erica? Get used to it.
349
00:14:45,036 --> 00:14:47,257
Well, that was great.
350
00:14:47,340 --> 00:14:50,260
You guys wanna have some beers in
my car or watch me drink beer in my car?
351
00:14:54,555 --> 00:14:56,576
-Hi, guys.
-Hi. Oh, my God, Evan.
352
00:14:56,659 --> 00:14:58,914
Oh, Evan, that's great.
353
00:14:58,997 --> 00:15:00,451
Perfect. You'll take care
of this.
354
00:15:00,534 --> 00:15:01,686
Oh, my God, Jessica?
355
00:15:01,769 --> 00:15:03,524
Malcolm!
356
00:15:03,607 --> 00:15:05,059
Wait, you go here?
357
00:15:05,142 --> 00:15:06,963
Yeah, I'm here,
like, all the time.
358
00:15:07,046 --> 00:15:08,567
Jessica? What do you mean? How
do you guys know each other?
359
00:15:08,650 --> 00:15:10,270
-The club.
-The scene.
360
00:15:10,353 --> 00:15:12,307
Like, we go out
together, obviously.
361
00:15:12,390 --> 00:15:14,446
Why are you calling her
Jessica? Her name is Chelsea.
362
00:15:14,529 --> 00:15:16,215
It's the name on my fake ID.
363
00:15:16,298 --> 00:15:17,952
She's insane.
You'd be obsessed with her.
364
00:15:18,035 --> 00:15:19,589
You should really...
We should hang out with her.
365
00:15:19,672 --> 00:15:21,493
-Never.
-I love that hat.
366
00:15:21,576 --> 00:15:23,931
Oh, my God, thank you. He
does not understand the vision.
367
00:15:24,014 --> 00:15:26,135
Well, he wouldn't get it.
He's dressed like a zookeeper.
368
00:15:26,218 --> 00:15:28,339
-I know.
-You'd make a good zookeeper.
369
00:15:28,422 --> 00:15:31,111
Gwen, stay out of this.
It's between me and Jessica.
370
00:15:31,194 --> 00:15:33,450
You guys just left
Blanco Lakeside Village?
371
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:36,222
Oh, no, no, no, this is
obviously still part of the vacation.
372
00:15:36,305 --> 00:15:39,094
You know how Evan can't relax,
so he has to find some drama
373
00:15:39,177 --> 00:15:41,600
with the school or his mom
or Pete Buttigieg.
374
00:15:41,683 --> 00:15:44,606
-Oh, you're still fighting. Okay.
-I came to help.
375
00:15:44,689 --> 00:15:46,476
Honestly, Mr. Marquez, I am
really glad that you're here
376
00:15:46,559 --> 00:15:50,083
because she has been low-key
gaslighting me all day.
377
00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:52,588
Chelsea, if anybody's been
gaslighting anybody, it's you.
378
00:15:52,671 --> 00:15:55,360
You're gaslighting people.
You're domming them, okay?
379
00:15:55,443 --> 00:15:57,748
-You're a narcissist.
-You're a narcissist.
380
00:15:58,216 --> 00:16:00,386
-You're a psychopath.
-You're a psychopath.
381
00:16:00,988 --> 00:16:03,677
-You're bipolar.
-You're bipolar.
382
00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:06,097
Okay, look,
I'm gonna make this easy.
383
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,703
Don't take the test. It's over.
384
00:16:09,137 --> 00:16:11,960
-So, what, I just fail it?
-No, you're not gonna fail it.
385
00:16:12,043 --> 00:16:13,730
We're just gonna artificially
give you a good score.
386
00:16:13,813 --> 00:16:15,668
-It's easy for us to do.
-You can't do that.
387
00:16:15,751 --> 00:16:17,572
Yes, we can do that.
We'll look up the answers.
388
00:16:17,655 --> 00:16:19,174
We'll take it in ten minutes,
but just go home.
389
00:16:19,257 --> 00:16:21,446
Okay, Mr. Marquez,
with all due respect,
390
00:16:21,529 --> 00:16:23,382
I think that that is,
like, illegal.
391
00:16:23,465 --> 00:16:25,421
It's a test. Who cares?
392
00:16:25,504 --> 00:16:29,094
Okay, yeah, but I can get an
amazing score on the test by myself.
393
00:16:29,177 --> 00:16:31,297
-No, it's fine. We'll just do it.
-No, no, no, no, no.
394
00:16:31,716 --> 00:16:35,322
Why don't you step back
and start the clock, okay?
395
00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:41,252
I'm still mad at you,
but that was very impressive.
396
00:16:41,335 --> 00:16:43,005
You got this, Jessica.
397
00:16:44,041 --> 00:16:47,364
So, did you guys, like, do one
cough for A, two coughs for B,
398
00:16:47,447 --> 00:16:49,034
-that kind of thing?
-Bingo.
399
00:16:49,117 --> 00:16:50,370
-Wait, what? No.
-What?
400
00:16:50,453 --> 00:16:52,423
One cough for C,
like C for "cough."
401
00:16:53,459 --> 00:16:57,017
Two coughs for D, "double cough."
This is the most obvious shit ever.
402
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,656
Rick. We had a system,
dude. Foolproof.
403
00:16:59,739 --> 00:17:01,693
-This sucks, dude. I failed the test.
-It's fine.
404
00:17:01,776 --> 00:17:03,497
-You didn't fail the test.
-They'll literally...
405
00:17:03,580 --> 00:17:06,335
The only thing I'm good at
is business and girls.
406
00:17:07,487 --> 00:17:08,656
Right, come on. We're up.
407
00:17:09,023 --> 00:17:13,584
Hey. Sorry I was like
a little baby bitch today.
408
00:17:13,667 --> 00:17:15,386
No, I'm sorry.
409
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:18,125
I really do have trouble
putting my work aside.
410
00:17:18,208 --> 00:17:21,700
No, it's not that.
It's these people, you know?
411
00:17:21,783 --> 00:17:25,240
It's like they're your friends,
and they used to be my friends,
412
00:17:25,323 --> 00:17:27,277
and then I got fired
and so they're not my friends,
413
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:29,214
but they're still your friends.
So it's just like...
414
00:17:29,297 --> 00:17:30,517
Fuck! I hate my life!
415
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,455
I don't know.
416
00:17:32,538 --> 00:17:34,726
Malcolm, these people love you.
They're still your friends.
417
00:17:34,809 --> 00:17:37,465
Mmm. I think I'm just jealous that
they get to spend time with you all day.
418
00:17:37,548 --> 00:17:39,469
-With me?
-Yeah.
419
00:17:39,552 --> 00:17:42,307
I'm jealous that you have a whole
new group of gay work friends
420
00:17:42,390 --> 00:17:43,626
at your tech job.
421
00:17:44,461 --> 00:17:46,148
Yeah, they're...
422
00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,352
they're nice, but they're...
they're kinda like...
423
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:50,256
They're "Born This Way" gays.
424
00:17:50,339 --> 00:17:52,327
What does that mean,
"Born This Way" gays?
425
00:17:52,410 --> 00:17:54,499
You know, it's like,
"I'm with her" gays.
426
00:17:54,582 --> 00:17:56,836
Like, "In this house,
we believe in science" gays,
427
00:17:56,919 --> 00:17:58,372
you know what I mean?
428
00:17:58,455 --> 00:18:02,247
-You don't believe in science?
-I do.
429
00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:04,117
We should hang out
with them sometime.
430
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,721
-Okay. We can do that.
-Text them.
431
00:18:05,804 --> 00:18:07,758
-They were actually texting me.
-See what they're doing.
432
00:18:07,841 --> 00:18:11,131
They're... And they are playing
gay dodge ball.
433
00:18:11,214 --> 00:18:13,336
What happened to everyone?
434
00:18:13,419 --> 00:18:15,641
Gwen, I must say, I was wrong
about this pickleball thing.
435
00:18:15,724 --> 00:18:18,395
I think it was good to let
Nick run this experiment.
436
00:18:18,763 --> 00:18:21,820
What, did you think it was like a... like
a giant waste of money or something?
437
00:18:21,903 --> 00:18:25,126
-Oh, that was... Yeah.
-It exceeded my expectations, is all.
438
00:18:25,209 --> 00:18:26,763
-He was saying it was good.
-Yeah.
439
00:18:26,846 --> 00:18:28,834
And you know what else?
I was really impressed
440
00:18:28,917 --> 00:18:31,372
that Evan was able
to help Chelsea find her grit.
441
00:18:31,455 --> 00:18:32,708
-All right, 2-5.
-No.
442
00:18:32,791 --> 00:18:34,244
-2-6?
-Nope.
443
00:18:34,327 --> 00:18:35,681
-Then, what is it?
-10-8.
444
00:18:35,764 --> 00:18:37,333
It's not, but whatever.
445
00:18:38,268 --> 00:18:39,354
Oh, fuck!
446
00:18:41,308 --> 00:18:42,360
♪ Na-na, na-na, na-na
Na-na-na-na now ♪
447
00:18:42,443 --> 00:18:43,864
♪ Baby, give it up ♪
448
00:18:43,947 --> 00:18:46,670
♪ Give it up Baby, give it up ♪
449
00:18:46,753 --> 00:18:49,776
♪ Na-na, na-na, na-na
Na-na-na-na now ♪
450
00:18:49,859 --> 00:18:51,479
♪ Baby, give it up ♪
451
00:18:51,562 --> 00:18:54,400
♪ Give it up Baby, give it up ♪
452
00:19:02,450 --> 00:19:04,888
♪ Everybody sees you ♪
453
00:19:06,258 --> 00:19:09,464
♪ Everybody looks and stares ♪
454
00:19:09,933 --> 00:19:14,575
♪ I'd just like to make you
Mine all mine ♪
455
00:19:17,681 --> 00:19:20,504
♪ Na-na, na-na, na-na
Na-na-na-na now ♪
456
00:19:20,587 --> 00:19:22,207
♪ Baby, give it up ♪
457
00:19:22,290 --> 00:19:24,962
♪ Give it up Baby, give it up ♪
458
00:19:25,329 --> 00:19:27,801
♪ Na-na, na-na, na-na
Na-na-na-na now ♪
36926
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