Original subtitles

Let me tell you something, my kid...

His father never taught him to take anything.

So much laundry.

Colic boys.

Look at that.

On my good makeup.

Boys will be boys, I guess.

Oh, I'm not leaving. No.

No, no, no.

Hey, yo. Oh, for fuck's sake, Parker.

What are you doing?

What do you mean, what am I doing? People live here.

Yeah, but I'm in the bathroom.

Well, then lock it.

You just shouldn't be walking in the bathroom, though.

I shouldn't just be walking in the bathroom in my own house. Are you

kidding me? Knock or something.

Are you using my good makeup rag?

Yeah, I guess.

Nope, nope, nope. Put it in the wash. And also, you're doing your own laundry

from now on.

Ew, no.

Sorry.

And how was your day, honey?

Huh? It was all right.

Yeah? Long day at work, but... Uh -huh.

You?

Uh, well, your son is home.

And I saw quite a lot of him today in the bathroom.

What do you mean?

Well, last week, his clothes were everywhere. I found his comrade.

And I was like, uh, boys will be boys.

Whatever. And today, he was in the bathroom just doing it. He didn't lock

door. He didn't do anything.

He's using my good makeup rags, and he tried to hand it back to me?

Jesus, Parker. I'll talk to him. Look, honey, you know he's going through a

tough time.

You know, Wendy broke up with him.

Okay,

if we had to deal with her, then he has to deal with her, too.

She was in the house all the time, and nothing was said, but this has got to

stop. I'm not saying you're wrong. He just, you know, he... He needs to get

it. He does need to get over it. I'm sorry, honey. I'm just prostrating. And

it's gross. It's really gross.

I'll talk to him. He just... Look, boys will be boys, and... Look, he just

needs, you know... He just needs good pussy to get him over it, you know?

Oh, fun.

Yeah. Like, if he had pussy, like... You're just trying to make me feel

I'm just saying. And you have good pussy, and I want to have some.

Why is it the dean?

Hello?

Yeah, this is her.

Excuse me?

He was doing what?

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Yeah. No, I can't believe it. Yeah, this is very

serious. I'm so sorry.

My husband and I will have a talk with him a week.

No, that's totally fair.

Yeah, that's completely fair. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Okay, yeah. Yeah, I will take care of this.

I'm sorry I had to call. I apologize.

Okay.

Thanks. What am I going to do with that boy?

Boys will be boys and... Look, he just needs, you know... He just needs good

pussy to get him over, you know? Oh, hon.

I know what I gotta do.

Oh, hey, hey.

Again? Do you not knock?

I live here.

You're here rent -free in your... What is this, raccoon trash can area?

I mean...

I'm doing something.

Obviously. And you've been doing that something because I just got a call from

your dean.

Fuck.

I'm sorry. I meant to tell you and dad. When? When were you going to do that? Do

you have any idea how embarrassing that is?

And you're in school for a week. You know what? I know.

I'm sorry.

I'm trying.

You know, we need to talk about this.

You have a serious problem.

What do you mean?

And you're doing this all the time.

Yeah.

You know, me and Wendy broke up, and I'm trying, and

it's not really working.

Yeah, your dad told me about Wendy. Get over it.

I wouldn't be so sure about that.

Your dad told me about Wendy, but first of all, we didn't like her anyway.

Sorry. But, like, have you tried something else, like going to the gym,

I've tried literally everything. I just can't get over her. I don't know what's

going on. I just can't.

I mean, have you found Jesus? I don't know. I don't know.

I've literally tried everything.

Well, what about the old saying, the best way to get over someone is to get

under someone else?

Yeah, you don't think I'd want that?

I can't.

Just do that.

It's hard.

Apps exist, you know? Yeah, but everybody on those apps want, like, long

I'm just trying to get over her. That's all I really can think of. One.

Okay, you've got a point.

I'm sorry for yelling at you.

No, it's... I deserve it, yeah.

Oh, well, but, no, I'm sorry anyway.

Um, I think I have a solution.

What do you mean?

Well...

We can get rid of this.

I'm sick and tired of you spewing all over this house. You know how much

I've been doing?

You're my mom, though.

I'm not your mom. I'm your stepmom.

I'm sure it's all not your mom, because we wouldn't be in this situation.

I guess it don't work, Dad.

What about him?

Your dad does what's best for you.

Yeah, but... That's why he's shelling out all this money for this expensive

school that you just got suspended at.

Yeah, but if he found out you were touching me, he'd be upset.

If it stopped all of these problems and kept you in school, I guarantee you he

would be a happy, happy man.

So we should make you a happy, happy man so you can get back to your studies and

acting like a normal boy.

I guess that makes sense.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm tired of all this laundry, so let's get you over one day.

Yes, ma 'am. That's good.

I mean, you did marry me for a reason.

Definitely see why my dad married you.

We're going to get you over that girl.

Yeah, I guess so.

Okay, fair.

You like that, honey?

You're definitely tight in the windows.

Should work with older women.

It's better than what you were doing, right?

Oh, 100%. It's going to keep my makeup down.

Thank you.

You're watching all those movies.

I know how they do all the movies.

Watch the movie instead.

Oh, God.

I don't know.

These didn't take after your father.

That would be a great discussion.

I just need a bite.

Oh, God.

You know what?

You should come over my face. I'm going to taste you. Really? I am.

I am.

I am.

I'm going to taste you. You're going to taste me, right?

I am.

I am.

Come for me, baby.

Oh, fuck.

You're going to do better in school now, right?

Yes, ma 'am.

Keep this our little secret?

Yes, ma 'am.