Original subtitles

"The express train for Bologna, Florence and Rome..."

"... is now departing from Platform 7."

"The express train for Bologna, Florence and Rome..."

"... is now departing from Platform 7."

Here, quick!

What a blow, guys.

No, I mean, what a blow it is when after a year together she suddenly leaves.

But you need those goodbyes at the train station...

... just to realise certain things.

Yes, because for the last 3 months it's been: "What will happen? Will she go?"

Then, all of a sudden... poof!

THE SOUR LIFE

Hurry it up!

Hurry it up!

- I'm getting dressed! - Hurry it up, please! Hurry it up!

Quickly, gentlemen!

- I'm coming! - Hurry it up, please! - Go to hell!

Halt!

Halt! There he is, in there!

- Stop! - What's going on? - You're coming with us.

Good day.

- Excuse me, do you mind? Come with me. - What's going on?

Don't ask questions, just walk. Let's go in here.

- An Erbadol, please. - Here, will you take it here? - Yes.

- Here. - I don't need it, you take it.

- Me? - Yes. - Alright...

- So how do you women defend yourselves, with your handbag? - No, with our feet.

- Stamps with high heels, kicks in the shins... - Ah, good thinking.

- But the best defence is something different. - Really? - Yes.

When the policemen is standing in front of you, you look him right in the eyes...

- And whack! - Damn, are you crazy?

Hemingway said it, too: "Asphalt has ruined the revolution."

See, because there are no more stones.

How can demonstrators start a revolution?

- There are still a lot of stones in Rome. - Ah, really?

I live in Rome with my sister, her husband works at the Vatican.

So you can imagine how well I get along with my brother-in-law.

Though when they arrested me, I thought he would go crazy.

Ah, they arrested you too?

Of course, they even gave me a trial.

Obstruction of traffic, resisting arrest, obscene language...

Six months probation.

- If I break the law again I'll have to serve two years. - Right.

But that's how I am.

When I get an idea in my head, I follow it with all my heart.

You're not handsome, though you do have something about you.

How's it going?

It's already 7, the train for Rome leaves at 8.

So you're really leaving??

- Why don't you stay a few days longer? - No - Why? - Because I can't.

- But there's no one waiting for you. - What do you mean? I have my work.

- You could work here, you have a typewriter. - I can't, they're expecting me at the newspaper.

Right, and the the newspaper won't come out if you don't go back to Rome.

- I told you that I can't. - Stay.

Why?

In fact, she stayed for a year. And now she's gone.

My wife is due to arrive, and I'm not in the least bit happy.

And you're not happy either, because you're thinking of the usual triangle:

Wife, husband and lover.

Instead, this... this is a social psychological story about integration.

Post-miraculist.

I came to Milan for this.

This huge tower is exactly 112 metres tall.

21,000 square metres of living space.

673,000 tons of concrete and steel.

12,000 square metres of glass and crystal.

Ever wondered how much TNT it would take to blow up such a building?

I have. And a year ago, with specific ideas in my head...

... I entered the belly of the enemy for the very first time.

- May I help you? - I'd like to speak to the president.

- What was that, sorry? - I'd like to speak to the president.

- Do you have an appointment? - No. - Excuse me a moment.

- Yes? - Miss Picchi, there is an individual...

... here who wishes to speak to the president. - Does he have an appointment?

- No, obviously not. - Alright, send him through. - Very good, Miss Picchi.

Besetti!

Take this gentleman to room number 9.

You requested to speak to the president? Answer me, please.

- Yes. - Please, move to the left, otherwise you're out of focus.

Please, take a seat.

- You don't have an appointment? - No.

Them please fill out one of the forms that you will find on the desk in front of you.

Yes, that's the one.

Write clearly, please.

Sign it, please.

- Now fold the form into four. That's it. - In four?

- That's it. Now, please roll it up. - Like this? - Yes.

Now please insert the roll into the metal tube you will find in front of you.

- Don't you see it? In front of you. - This one? - Yes, that one.

Now insert it into the pneumatic tube on the right hand side of the desk.

Push it in well and press the red button...

- No, no! - Sorry, it gave me a fright.

- You pressed the green button, I said to push the red one. - Right.

Stay calm and press the red button, okay?

Thank you.

- Good day. - Please, sit down.

- You are Mr. Luciano Bianchi, yes? - That's right.

- And you were director of the civic library in Guastalla? - Precisely.

- And you were the cultural attach� at the mine of Castelnuovo? - Yes.

But you haven't written the reason for which you left your position.

Well, the mine of Castelnuovo was destroyed by a firedamp explosion.

- 43 people were killed. - Ah, that's right. I heard about it.

- Were you conventionally dismissed? - Well...

THE INTERVIEW WILL CONTINUE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

- Please, this way. - But...

- Were you conventionally dismissed? - I guess so, yes.

On the form here it says that you speak English.

- Yes, I do translation work as well. - Ah, very good.

Then we shall consider your application.

Actually, I wanted to speak with the president.

It's very difficult for the president to receive people, he's a busy man.

In any case, we will take note of your interest and hope that you are able to...

... return to be part of the big family here at CIS. - Thank you. - Good day.

Never mind. As much as I would have loved to blow this place to smithereens...

... I begin to realise immediately that I would have to overcome many obstacles.

There was also the economic miracle.

At that time the pedestrians were reserved a thin strip of pavement...

... on which would accumulate snow, stones, bricks, dog mess...

Then there are the construction sites.

Every so often workmen would turn up and start digging holes.

- Nobody know why they did so. - What the hell are you looking at?!

At the crossings, to protect themselves, pedestrians group together.

They move at pace like a battalion marching to war.

Left, right! Left, right!

- But Sir, you were walking in that way. - In what way?

It's written in the report.

- Take your things. - Thank you.

"Loitering around, walking slowly..."

"... pausing repeatedly, without a car."

You see, Sir, you were walking!

- Ah, Sir, another night out? - Yes.

This is Mrs. De Sio, owner of the De Sio boarding house.

And this is the room I share with Carlone. 1,200, half-board.

- How was she, Sir? Blonde or brunette? - There were two! Sicilian, with moustaches!

Jolanda, Mrs. De Sio's daughter. She's a widow, too...

... but to a motorbike driver who died at Monza. The usual corner, you know...

Mother of God!

Guys, I have to take a bath.

I can't always go to the public baths.

These are the three musketeers: Mendoza, Hernandez and Ascona.

This system of doing the washing with your feet is an invention of mine.

Instead of throwing away the used bath water, you just add detergent...

... and walk on top of it.

Besides, this is the main principle of the washing machine.

- By the way, a letter came for you. - When were you going to tell me?

- Where is it? - Ask my sister, I think she has it.

- Hey, Luciano. - That's Carlone, he's sleeping with Jolanda.

- Jolanda, my underwear? - I'll get it, just a second.

- Is there a letter for me? - I think so.

Well, is there or isn't there? Your sister said that you have it.

- You, eat! Look, I don't know... - Well, do you know or don't you?

- Hold on a minute! - In one room they're doing the washing...

... in another they're changing the sheets! Go look for it, please. - I'm going!

Mom, do you have the gentleman's letter?

Remember this: don't go to school, remain illiterate...

... that way, when a letter comes, you won't need to worry about it.

Ah, you've finished the washing!

Careful! The kid will fall! Break head!

You're eating paella at 9 o'clock in the morning?

- Excuse me. - So where's this letter?

- I don't know where it could be. - Where on earth do you put things?

- I want dinner! - I just don't know...

- What is it? What now? - Here, I found it.

- Was it under the table leg? - My mother must have put it there.

So we're putting important letters under the table legs now?! I see!

Eat your dinner, come on. Come on, eat it all up!

"Dear Luciano, the boy has had tonsillitis, but don't worry."

"Since you left he's been sleeping in the our bed..."

Please!

"Since you left he's been sleeping in the our bed..."

"He doesn't want to sleep in his anymore."

"He doesn't want to sleep in..."

"He doesn't want to sleep in his..."

I'm going to the toilet!

Now you're in here?! The bath was prepared for me!

Well, there was no 'reserved' sign on the door!

And if you put a lock on the door you'll never get in here!

Right, and then how will I be able to come wash my big bear?

- Hey, have you seen Carlone? - I don't know, but move your stuff!

- Carlone! - I have to sleep in here. - I don't know where he's gone.

- Where have you put the ones with the washing machine? - Here, in the folder.

Anyway, where was I?

This is what I was talking to you about. There are 4 stages.

- Look. - Clothed, less clothed and then completely nude.

- It's a strip-tease, you see. - No, this won't do.

- And underneath we'll put: "Zecchi, wash everything in a Zap!" - It won't do.

Because a woman will never buy a washing machine that reminds...

... her husband of strip-tease. - But that's what you said.

- "Sexy means success." - We need a man on the posters!

- A transvestite? - No, a man and a woman smiling, saying:

"Your other half will love you twice as much..."

"... if you buy a Zecchi washing machine."

"I took the boy to see Dr. Brocchi."

"He says that the genitals aren't developing as they should be."

"To help them develop, he needs a hormone treatment costing 50,000 lire. Kisses, Mara."

If he'd taken after me, we would have saved 50,000!

"P.S. Libero Fornaciari is always asking for you."

"He wants to know if the plan is still in motion. What's he talking about?"

He's talking about a terrible story, one that started two years ago...

... when I was still at home.

- You fire. - No, you have to fire. - No, you fire. - Fire, quick!

Go on, fire!

- Did you fire? - No!

- Francesco got it. - What would you do without me?

- Have some peace and quiet! - He's just lucky. - It's God's will!

- A pheasant? - My wife will cook it. - With olives? - Yeah, olives.

- For all four of us! - When do you ever miss a meal?

These sirens never stop!

- In the end they'll turn us all deaf. - Things will change!

Things always change!

- Then something falls on your head and kills you. - Well, it's a change!

Did you hear that, Mr. President? It's an unbearable amount of heat.

I have to admit it, you're right.

But if you knew what our mines in Africa were like...

Father Forneri, our chaplain. Dr. Nardelli, our physician.

- Prof. Bianchi, our cultural attach�. - A pleasure to meet you.

- This here is our cultural community centre. - Ah, very nice!

Yes, we recently held a conference here on Garcia Lorca...

... followed by a debate. - "Until 5 o'clock in the evening!"

I hope this saying doesn't make the miners think that...

... they can go home at 5. - No, Mr. President...

The figures on the the productivity of the mines in the Common Market...

... and above all, those administered by CIS in Italy, speak quite clearly.

For our shareholders, this mine is a liability.

Either we double the production, or we will be forced to close.

Your 200 employees are just as important as the 5,000 we have working all over Italy...

... but we cannot force our shareholders to maintain such dead weight.

We were promised the funds to build an air vent years ago.

It's difficult to increase productivity under a temperature of 40�C.

You will have to increase the piping that drops water in front of the fans.

This system did nothing but provoke an increase in the humidity...

... and therefore an increase in rheumatic diseases.

My dear doctor, this isn't a resort on the Riviera.

This is about saving our mines, before it's too late.

You should explain these things to the miners...

... rather than bore them with conferences on Garcia Lorca.

With all due respect, Prof. Bianchi, we appreciate your good work...

... but CIS must protect the interest of thousands of small shareholders...

... simple folk like me, like you. This is why I speak with such frankness.

Gentlemen, I have come from Milan to speak to the management here...

... and to answer any questions you, the heads of each unit, wish to ask me.

Go ahead, ask.

- Go on. - Go on, ask!

Well, Mr. President, since you are so understanding...

... I'd like to ask you two things. - Go ahead.

- The first is to do with our work. - Please, go ahead.

I have 20 years experience in mining, Sir, so I know what it is I'm saying.

For a month we have been digging blind between tunnel 20 and 22.

Digging like this, it creates a step where the air stagnates.

This way we risk blowing this place to high heaven.

- Therefore, my colleagues and I... - I understand.

The problem has already been discussed...

... and our technicians are working on a solution. What is your second request?

The second request is this.

Well...

It's about the chains in the toilets. The guys really care about these things...

... and want the flush chains to be replaced with those buttons.

See, you push the button and...

You can take this one, Director.

There's a professor looking for you, a Polish gentleman.

He says that he's come from Rome with a letter of introduction...

- Did you show him the files? - Yes, all of them.

- Here he is, Professor. - Good day. - Good day.

My friend Ottali who gave me this letter of introduction...

... spoke very highly of you and your knowledge...

... of country music. - I'm just an amateur.

Anyway, you have the few publications that we own at your disposal.

Our library isn't particularly comprehensive...

... though it does have depth in some areas... some areas...

- Well, in some ways. - We hope that you can help.

- This is my secretary. - Nice to meet you. - Likewise.

In the cultural exchanges we have with Europe...

... we are very interested in Italian folk music in particular.

- I see, I see... - Understand? - As I say, I'm just an amateur...

- Though here in Guastalla we have an important folk band. - Excellent!

- The most important in the region. - Wonderful!

If you're interested, I can call them.

They are farmers, you see, who get together in the evenings.

We could organise some kind of music night...

... for you to hear them play.

Yes, yes...

- Miss! - What happened? - Help me, please!

- This damn ladder... - I'm very sorry...

You must be more careful! These books are very precious.

- I'm not sure what happened, but... - Thankfully you landed on the ground...

... and not on the books. - Nothing broken, I hope?

The town square, built in the 1600s, was conceived by a certain Giunta.

- Look at this fountain! - Nothing but an amateur work...

Because he's a Nobel Prize winner! People buy his books just to show off.

Take 'Doctor Zhivago', for example. Like hell they read it...

... everyone bought it because it was banned in Russia.

Stop talking about literature and take a look at Luciano!

- He's found a real looker! - That must be the Polish girl!

- It's this way. - Is that the cathedral? - Yes, from the 1600s...

... rebuilt in the 1700s by Volterra.

And over there is the famous monument to Gonzaga...

"The poor soldier, was condemned to death..."

"... far away from his spouse, close to the colonel."

"When the wife found out, she was full of sorrow..."

"... ran to the quartermaster, begging that he be pardoned."

"Come that fatal morning, the poor and unfortunate soldier..."

"... must be executed, put out of his great misery."

"Out the soldiers come, in a straggled line..."

"... with their rifles pointed, pitiful as they were."

"Upon a seat the soldier, sits awaiting his fate..."

"... the priest hears his confession, assisted by the corporal."

"Therefore we feel it necessary, for economic reasons..."

"... to do without your valued contribution from now on."

It came this morning. They know the value of my mission...

... but they're sacking me all of a sudden after years of work!

I have three mouths to feed! 2 unmarried sisters and my mother.

I know, they're bastards. But you still have the church, the school!

They don't care about the importance of religion!

What do you expect? That's how the workers are!

Your prayers don't interest them.

My prayers interest them more than the stuff you tell them!

Well, that's another story.

At least they listen to the things I tell them!

Perhaps! But they'll fire you too, soon enough!

- Do you think so? - I do.

- Then look at this. - What is it?

- They already fired me. - See? I told you!

You know what? Here's what I think of their letter...

- What happened? - It's the mine! - It exploded!

Yes, it blew up!

- Damn it! With this leg... - Take it easy, Libero.

I almost missed your train. Good day, Miss.

Keep it straight-faced, Luciano. You're on the front line now.

Write to me. Actually, write to her.

Just put: "Tell Libero that the plan is still in motion."

- Okay. - Then I'll come and find you with a suitcase full of... yeah.

- Got it? Bye! - Bye, Mara! Bye, Vittorio!

- Goodbye! - Bye! - Bye, Dad!

See you soon!

The heads of each unit had already warned that it was dangerous...

... but the director said not to make problems...

... to send the first shift down.

That morning at 11 o'clock, the mine exploded.

- Were there any deaths? - Of course.

- How many? - 43. - 43?

Why didn't you tell any of this to the newspapers?

A mine explodes every month! In Germany, in Japan...

They only talk about it if there are people trapped inside.

If they can save a few people, half-mad from the pain and fear...

... no one wants to talk about it!

They think the readers will tire of it.

With the welfare cheques and money spent on funerals...

... the mining company will lose about 30 million.

- But they got to close the mine. - I'd love to plant a bomb in there!

- Why do you think I came to Milan? - Sorry?

- I don't understand. - Of course, I didn't tell you...

I don't know when, but before the end of the year that tower will explode.

- Hey, am I disturbing? - Yes.

- Hey! - Here's Carlone.

Oh, hi. Damn...

Anna, this is Carlone. He's the one I told you about.

And this is Anna. I didn't tell you about her because when you left...

... I hadn't met her yet. - Nice to meet you.

- So where am I supposed to sleep? - Go to Jolanda's.

- But we had a fight. - Then make up. - But what if she doesn't want to?

- Sure she does! - What if she doesn't?

- Miss Jolanda! - Yes? - There's a guest here.

I know. Tell him no, Sir!

He has good intentions.

- Go on! - Just watch what happens.

- Poor thing. - Why? He brings it on himself.

Only because there's a lady next door.

Otherwise I'd never have you anywhere near my bed!

If that girl stays, I'll have to inform them.

And who pays, her or him? Someone has to pay rent!

What does it matter? She's sleeping in my bed!

- So you're here just because your bed is taken! - It's not that...

- You're a bum, you know that? - Yes. - You admit that you're a bum?

You just don't want to hear that you're a bum. At least admit it.

- Alright. - A real bum... - I'm a bum.

- Actually, two! - A real bum...

Can't you be a bum, too? Why don't you say it? Please?

Why do you go crazy over these things?

I'm supposed to say that I'm a bum? No, come on...

- I changed my mind. - About what? - About what I said the other night.

- What's that? - Blowing up that tower.

It's not right. You're acting like an opportunist.

- What? I'm risking my life! - What do you mean by that?

An opportunist is someone who leaves the masses to fight by himself...

... and for the benefit of himself. - What are you saying?

I won't gain anything from blowing up that tower!

Nothing, okay?

They'll hear us. Come out on the balcony if you want to talk about it.

- I don't want to talk about it. - Come on.

I'm naked, let me put something on.

It's too easy to just try and fix everything with dynamite.

- The age of anarchists is over. - Yeah, unfortunately for us!

Because if we'd fired a few more machine guns around...

... today there would be less skyscrapers and more hospitals.

These days the individual can't fight, but the masses can, in Parliament!

- Don't you understand? - Yeah, yeah... - In the sections, the cells...

You two! Go to bed instead of talking about politics, other people are sleeping...

Let's go to bed.

I'm afraid that each cell takes care of its own transfers.

You have to go to the head of cell...

... responsible for members 6 to 14.

- And where will I find him? - Easy, he's just across the road.

The place called Ermete's.

- There, he's had his little enema. - Ah, he has? - Yes.

- Poor thing, did he suffer? - A little. But rest assured...

... his hair will be shiny in no time! - Thank goodness.

- Goodbye, now. - Bye, I'll stop by later to pay. - Goodbye.

- Magnificent! Wonderful, isn't it? - Wonderful.

- Now, about my transfer... - Ah yes, this way.

- Sit here and fill out this form with all your info. - Thank you.

I'll write to Rome for the rest of your details.

And when it gets here I'll call for you. Write.

- And for the pension? - Don't worry, it won't get lost.

- A button... - Is this young man a member, too?

- Well, he's an intellectual but is very close to us. - Good man.

- We need more men like you. - Good evening, Ermete. - Good evening!

Listen, I wanted him to participate in a few cell meetings...

Of course, but without the right to vote.

I'm bringing this back. It works as a raincoat and a jumper.

- And I wanted two of those bouncy balls. - Don't forget the conference on Wednesday!

- Thanks, we won't miss it. - Which balls, these? - More bouncy!

- And how is Soraya? - I think she has fleas again. - Oh, Soraya!

Who did you catch fleas from this time?

The new film by Francesco Rosi is a work of relative importance.

It shows, just like his other work, that the pleasure of...

In a month of conferences I heard them talk about everything.

From the Montessori method to the economic crisis in Umbria, to Brecht...

... to corruption, doping, from neorealism to realism...

... but not a word on the revolution.

- Have you seen these films? - No. And you? - Me neither.

But they say I'm a bore.

I go to the cinema to enjoy myself!

... the figures of the actors dominate, but on a set that is always open...

... always in relation to the real world.

- You're looking for the masses? - They're not here in the centre!

"I don't know if this is the first time you're hearing this story...."

"The story of a girl and an umbrella, it was her feller's umbrella..."

"She didn't even go home, she didn't even eat..."

"So that she could find her feller's umbrella..."

"This feller's umbrella, its quality was stellar..."

"It was her feller's umbrella."

What the hell were you hoping from a section in the centre?

- What did you want them to discuss? - A section with some class!

Insurance, employees, bank cashiers.

I'll show you workers! Workers that file cast iron with their hands!

"... so he told her, steal an umbrella."

"Though he tried to sell her, that nice umbrella..."

"And the quality was stellar, do you know whose umbrella?"

"It was her feller's umbrella."

"My feller's umbrella."

"So anyway, did you find the umbrella? No, I'm afraid I didn't..."

"But she still wanted to find it..."

"Look at this one, she tells her feller..."

"How stellar, another umbrella..."

"Who knows whose umbrella? Certainly not her feller's."

"I didn't even go home, I didn't eat. So I could find my feller's umbrella...

"And then he told her, steal an umbrella..."

It won't be easy.

Hey, excuse me!

- Do you work at the factory? - Yes. - We're conducting an inquiry on the...

... relationship between man and machine. - I'm going to be late!

- Can you tell us something about that? How's it going? - It's going badly!

Just this morning I had a problem with my machine, it was a mess...

The wheel got twisted, broke free of its chain...

... and now some idiot is asking me about it! What a morning!

Go get yourself a job!

Prophetic words.

7 days later I'd become a cog in that perfect machine...

... that changed my destiny when I was still in Guastalla.

This is Mr. Luciano Bianchi, the one I told you about earlier.

- Welcome. - Nice to meet you. - Mrs. Vigan� will explain your duties.

I'm sure you will know how to fulfill them with intelligence and diligence.

Goodbye.

Mr. Bianchi, you are here on a trial period, yes?

- Yes. - This way. I'll be honest with you...

If you don't have a deceased relative in some mining disaster...

... you have little hope of staying. This is a kind of limbo.

Here, take the pen.

- What do I have to do? - Work with me.

I run a specialised magazine that no one reads, of course.

- It's a radio pen. - I see.

The magazine comes out every 3 months, but each issue takes 10 days to create.

- How does it work? - I don't know, but it's how management contacts you.

So, if you want to stay here, you'll have to make a lot of dust.

A huge cloud of dust to hide yourself in.

They're calling me, though they don't really need anything.

Nothing at all. Excuse me.

Mrs. Vigan� was right. These days the employee must make dust...

... starting with a secretary. Or half a secretary to start.

Then one entire secretary, or two smaller ones.

Four, eight, and so on.

Despite their appearances, these secretaries have a tough exterior.

They are fresh air to the men...

... whose shoulders are weighed down with decades of tiring history.

My secretary for example knows only how to lick stamps and envelopes.

Yet she is indispensable, because she has found a way to turn the...

... letters I write into a subordinate activity to her licking.

- Well, at least let me write it! - Sorry, but I have to take them...

... seal them, apply the stamps and get them in the post!

- The blame lies with the women... - What women?

The blame lies with our industrialised civilisation.

It seems that the Neo-capitalist society exalts the female sex...

... but it's all a deception.

To sell us toothpaste, a tractor, a calculator, washing powder...

... they always put a sex symbol in front of you!

- A pair of tits, a thigh... - Do you have a cigarette?

- Let him speak! - The ruling classes...

... don't want tenacious love... - And the matches? - In the pocket.

The ruling classes do not want to live an entirely sexual life.

But merely the continuous stimulation of this sex symbol.

So the ruling classes are only interested in the arriving at...

They're not interested in the beauty of sex itself.

Once upon a time the craftsman loved his instruments, no?

Yet today the lathe, the typewriter, they are not beautiful instruments...

... they are merely instruments that help one arrive at money.

Just like prostituting yourself is no longer empowering...

... it's just a way to use your body in order to earn money.

Which is why today the scientist hates the lathe...

... I hate the typewriter and the prostitute hates...

And you wonder why your women hate so many things!

This idea of everything as means to an end, it integrates, disintegrates, objectifies.

So what are we left with? The Robot Woman.

The prostitute who is reduced to nothing but a machine...

And becomes the the socialite, or the lady of the night, the hooker, the whore...

... the call-girl, the streetwalker.

Right the way down to the bag lady, the tramp, the crack whore!

You're right, boredom is caused by the incapacity to communicate.

And yet it would be so simple! Boredom, the lack of communication...

... it would all be over if we were to re-establish, all over the world...

... the natural and authentic origin of the sexual act.

But such excesses might ruin our civilisation!

There might be a rise in the amount of artificial assets.

But no one would feel the necessity to buy refrigerators, cars...

- Drugs! - The ruling classes are just the opposite.

- If man is distracted by love, he will consume less. - Of course!

The only need would be to discover all sexual positions under the sun.

Uniting on beds, on suburban lawns, in wardrobes...

... on the window sill watching people in the street below!

In a pedalo boat just off the Adriatic Coast...

... in the second class compartment of a train....

... in a cinema, behind the curtains by the security exit...

... in the elevators, in the huts on the beaches of Rimini...

... in the top boxes at the theatre, on the fur coat paid for by him!

And finally among the ruins in the citadel of Pisa...

... or even on the stairs...

... or in wheelchairs, two cripples just going at it!

- No one should be excluded from the festivities! - Long live Love!

Excuse me, Miss. Where is the printer's?

- Fifteenth floor. - On the fifteenth?

- Can I help you? - I must have pushed the wrong elevator button.

I wanted to go to the printer's but I ended up here instead.

Yes, you must be mistaken, this is the thermal centre.

Then I must have gotten lost, this place is a labyrinth.

Nice set up.

- So, it's central heating? - No, it's air conditioning.

We provide the same temperature in summer and winter.

- It works all year round? - All year round.

- We only shut down Christmas Day. - Does it run on electricity?

No, that's just the control panel, everything runs on gas.

On gas? Isn't that dangerous?

As long as you don't touch it.

- They're calling me. Is there a telephone around here? - Over there.

- Hello? - Where on earth are you?

I'm in the thermal centre, I missed the right floor...

- You missed by 16 floors? - I'll be right there, thanks.

- Sorry, which is the way out? - That way.

- Keep your wits about you, eh? - Don't worry. - It could go boom!

END OF PART ONE

PART TWO

This is for Mara, the rent, the groceries...

... cigarettes, cinema and various other expenses.

Methane combined with oxygen at a proportion of between 6 and 16%...

... becomes a volatile mixture.

That on contact with a temperature greater than 600 degrees...

... will provoke an explosion. - Still thinking about that?

Of course, why wouldn't I?

If I don't think about it, I'm sure Libero Fornaciari will.

He'll come and find me with a suitcase full of...

- Anyone there? - No, they went to the cinema.

- With a suitcase full of dynamite. - You're just stubborn.

On Christmas Day I'm going to the cellars of that tower...

... and I'll put methane in the air conditioning pipe...

... that goes from the ground right up to the top floor.

So this is for your wife, for the rent, for groceries...

... but can I take 1,000 lire to buy myself some socks? - Sure.

I'm talking about something important and you're distracting me with socks.

- Then I won't bother. - That's not what I'm saying.

I'm saying that reality is a little more complex.

I'm worrying about more important things than your little problems.

- Then I'll go barefoot! - You don't get it.

It's a bad idea, you don't approve, and it's something anarchic...

... a symbolic act, emblematic, let's call it a gesture.

Don't you see the gesture? You don't want to see it.

What do you mean by that? That I'm an obstacle for you?

I knew you would say that, and I really thought you were intelligent.

I'm not saying that! I'm saying that we started out with big ideas.

Now I'm afraid that our love story, which is so wonderful...

... will turn into some small and mediocre bourgeois story...

... with your silly daily problems...

... like millions of other mediocre stories of adultery and infidelity.

Do you really need to use so many big words just to say...

... that you're tired of me?

You take everything so personally, when I'm just theorising.

I was saying something else, try to follow me.

This love story of ours might be valid in a different society...

... where certain impulses still held some kind of value.

But today, with all these industrial strikes...

... problems with the land...

... left-wing, right-wing...

Our relationship risks blocking certain ideals, you see.

It's useless to talk about socks, and my opinions on socks are useless!

You will buy socks all the same and I'll have to pay for them.

- I'll have to work to pay for the socks you buy. - Oh, really?!

- So you hold that against me? - Mother of God!

No, you just don't get it! I don't hold anything against you!

- Ouch! - Of course you do!

It's my fault that you're becoming a little bourgeois defeatist.

What am I supposed to say?

- My opinions don't count, right? - Of course they count.

It's not like I was worried about social problems before I met you.

- I didn't go down and fight against the police. - What does...

To end up living as a nun? And what kind of woman am I now?

I'm a woman who waits for you in bed!

Then you come and tell me that I'm an obstacle!

The truth is something else. You are the obstacle for me.

- Yes, because I... - God damn it...

I'm always worked. I've never needed anyone!

- What do you take me for? - Where are you going? - I'm leaving.

- Where are you going? - What do you care? - What do I care?

See? You're being incoherent. You're my responsibility.

You're the incoherent one.

I, thank God, am a free woman.

- And I'm a free man. - So what? - Good...

And since I'm a free man, I can close your suitcase and open mine.

- Mine stays open! - I'll just get my things and be on my way.

I'm supposed to pack your suitcase? No, you can do that yourself!

- Alright, I'll be back tomorrow. - Where are you going?

Where I want, we're both free. What are you worried about?

God damn it! Why did I come to Milan?

How did I expect it to end with someone I met in the public baths?!

If she thinks I'm going back up...

I'm the one who made the gesture. She's waiting for me.

But she can come down here first.

- What are you doing down there? - I'm just walking up and down.

- But you'll catch a cold. Come back up. - No.

- Come on, I have to tell you something. - Tell me it from there.

How can I? Come on.

Come on, quick!

So, my crazy man, you wanted to leave?

Yes, I just forgot my umbrella.

Come on, take your coat off.

- Do you have faith in me? - Of course I have faith in you.

- Do you love me? - Of course, you big lump.

Do you think I'd leave you? I'd never leave you.

I'll kill you! I'll kill you, you rascal.

"Unfortunately, for the moment it's better that you and the boy..."

"... don't come up here. Tell Libero that there is a good chance..."

"... our plan is still in motion..."

"... though we won't be able to do anything before Christmas."

He mentions this strange plan of yours in all his letters.

- Will you tell me what he's talking about? - Well, Ma'am...

It's a surprise.

It's a surprise we're planning for some friends of ours.

- Hi, Mom! - Hi! - Hi, go and wash your hands!

- Hi, Uncle Libero. - Vittorio, look what Uncle Libero brought us!

- Ma'am, I should get going. - Thanks again for the pheasant.

- You really shouldn't have. - It's nothing!

- But be sure to remind your husband of that thing. - Of course.

My husband is always so distracted, he has his head in the clouds.

- Afternoon. - Afternoon. - Yes, I'd like 25 Kg of TNT.

- 25 Kg of TNT. - And 12 detonators. - 12 detonators.

- Are they good? - Of course, they just came in.

- And also a few plastic bombs. - How many?

- Well, it's for a birthday... two dozen. - Two dozen.

Would you be interested in two Swiss-made timers, guaranteed?

- Guaranteed? - Of course. - Alright, put me one in as a trial.

- Make a nice package... - Home delivery?

- No, I'll send someone to pick it up. - I'll make a nice package...

Oh, and throw in 25 metres of fuse.

- Very good, I'll make a nice gift box. Goodbye, Sir. - Afternoon.

Alright, I'm coming!

- Luciano, cam down! - My God, how frightening...

- You were dreaming. - It was a dream? - Yeah. - Thank God.

The fired me for low productivity.

How is it my fault if they never gave me anything to do?

- You were there on a trial period. - Yes, and now I have to start all over.

I'm sorry, it was going so well.

Two pieces of Taleggio.

- What's he singing? - Nothing, it's about a worker from the suburbs...

... who visits the centre of Milan.

It's a pretty song, shame I can't understand it.

Pretty little face!

Do you want to ruin this wonderful English book...

... with one of your terrible Italian translations?

They'll give you 1,000 lire a page, and this must be 300 pages.

- That's 300,000 lire. - And a third in advance.

Cristina, two steaks!

- Alright, three. - Good, I accept! - Sit down.

Thanks.

"Oh, my country..."

"... so lovely and lost!"

"Oh, remembrance so dear and so fraught with despair!"

That's 60,000 for Mara.

30,000 for the tailor's and this is for the rent.

- That makes 60,000 with the change. I'll leave it in the draw. - Okay.

- Did you knock? - Yes, but I didn't want to disturb.

- Please, come in. - Here, I brought you the keys.

I put little coloured caps on them to tell the difference.

Red for the main entrance, green for the toilet...

Wait, let me write them down, otherwise I'll forget.

Yellow is for the main gate, and blue is for the front door.

The yellow one is the main gate, and the blue is for the front door.

That's right, isn't it? And this brown one is for the main entrance.

- The fridge? A key for the fridge, too? - Will you need anything else?

No, we'll be fine. And this one? The pantry.

Okay, I hope we haven't forgotten anything.

- Is that all clear? - Yes, thank you.

Wait, let me just check...

- Green? - The key to the toilet. - Well done!

Excellent.

Mother of God.

- You shouldn't laugh at her! - Easier said than done.

- Here. - I'll hold it here.

No, put it closer.

- Give me the hammer. - Here. - Thanks.

- What are you going to do now? - Watch and learn. - But, what...

Hold on.

Damn!

- Now I've got a real cough! - I can hear that!

Sorry, I heard you coughing...

No, thank you. It's passed now.

It's passed.

- I'm fine, really. - It's not going to kill you.

They're just like children.

Alright, I'll take a spoonful.

- Thanks, that's very kind. - We sleep just next door...

I'd advise you to take a precaution, we've done the same thing...

Could you pull your bed away from the wall slightly...

- That way we won't disturb each other. - Alright, thank you.

- Hello, Ivano? - She's very specific, but she never closes the door.

You are there? You come here?

Alright, let's get back to work, otherwise we'll never finish.

Right, where were we?

"They say that a woman always remembers her wedding night..."

"Softer, sweeter, more..."

"When I made love to my husband, my body was mature..."

"... and I wasn't the trembling girl that I was the first time."

- Good. - How was your first time? - Who remembers that?

- Come on, I'm sure you do. - No. Do you? - Of course.

- And what was it like? - Come here and I'll show you.

Come on, we only have a few pages left.

Then we can start on the other novel.

- Come on, I can see your legs. - You shouldn't look! - How can I?

- Come in! - Excuse me, I have to change the air-freshener.

There is a terrible smell in here. You smoke a lot, don't you?

Unfortunately I smoke all the time, but I try not to inhale it.

That's worse because it stays on your skin and on the curtains.

It runs out tomorrow, but I'll change it now. It runs out every 15 days.

This one runs out on the 15th, the bathroom the 10th, and the hall the 20th.

- Hello, Ivano? I am here... - She really overdoes it.

We'll have to put up with it. The Swiss, they love cleanliness.

Full-stop.

"Come on, boys..."

Luciano, please!

Can you be serious, even for five minutes?

- Excuse me? - Who's that? - Come in!

I'm not getting up.

Yes, the walls seemed a little bare.

So we spiced them up a bit.

But, it does mean that the walls won't get stained...

She says to remember to lock the front door...

... and all the windows. - Don't worry, we'll be staying in.

If you decide to eat in, remember to do as I do:

Keep a pan of hot water on the stove, that way...

... once you've eaten you can wash the plates. - Okay, thank you.

- Good evening. - Good evening.

- Hello, Ivano? - "I am here, you are there?"

"Ah, good. Yes, soon I come there."

"Yes, now I am here."

"But soon I come there."

- Yes, Ivano... - Are you sure they aren't terrorists?

Maybe! Perhaps they're planning a robbery of all the Swiss bank accounts!

Excuse me, just a moment.

I'm looking for the De Sio Boarding House, could you give me a hand?

Yeah, you can't find anything in Milan these days.

- Excuse me, the De Sio Boarding House? - It's not here anymore.

They moved to Via San Gregorio, in Porta Venezia.

- Do you know where that is? - Sure.

Anna!

- Hello! - Hello.

- Hi, how are you? - Good, and you?

- When did you get here? - An hour ago. - Really?

- How come? Did you have a good trip? - Yes, very good thanks.

She did well to find the place, she still had the old address.

- You didn't tell me you moved house. - Yes, but I'm not staying here.

It's a temporary thing, I don't like it. The owners of the place...

... horrible Swiss couple. Isn't that right?

I didn't want to tell you until I knew I was staying.

She called Mrs. De Sio.

She wouldn't give me your address, didn't believe I was your wife!

- But in the end I convinced her. - I'm sure you did!

- How's it going? - I tried to call the office but you weren't there.

But you knew... Miss, you knew that I wasn't in the office today.

I even mentioned it on the telephone.

- I do have a lot of work to do. - The young lady is very kind.

- Oh, yes? - Yes. - Perhaps you'd like to freshen up a bit. - Yes...

- Have you seen through there? - No. - Disgusting!

I'm sick of these American authors and all their obscenity.

I mean, there used to be a line but these days they take it too far.

No, you just type it up. Don't worry about.

- Alright, shall we go through? You can freshen up... - Okay...

- Did you bring anything with you? - It's just there.

Mr. Bianchi, I don't think I'll be working any more this evening.

- Well, perhaps... - I mean, your wife is here...

Anyway, if you need me you know where to find me.

- You could call me, I don't know... - Yes, okay. - I just wanted to...

- If I need you I'll call. - Right. - Good evening. - Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Miss, hold on a moment! Excuse me...

- Mara, come through. - I don't like how you talk to your secretary.

- Give me that. - What do you mean? A man must always return to a home!

- This is a nice room. - Yes, well... - Quite big.

All your books.

- What area is this? - It's Giambellino.

I couldn't understand much in the taxi. But it's a nice area.

Yes, a bit sleazy.

Well, I don't know Milan.

Let' make ourselves comfortable.

- What a nice big bed. - Yes, the only comfortable thing in here.

I might stay here just for the bed.

The Swiss couple were in here before but they moved to a smaller room...

... and left me the bed. - Where shall I put this, in here? - No!

- No! - Whose is all this stuff?

I told you, it belongs to the Swiss lady, the owner of the place.

She asked to keep her stuff in the wardrobe because they have no room.

- Put your stuff in his side. - Okay.

Even when I'm sleeping she comes in, "Excuse me, can I get a dress?"

- Excuse me? - Just a moment.

No, Miss Anna isn't working today. My wife is here, you see.

- This is the proprietor. - But, I don't understand.

Oh, I'm sorry!

See? Oh, hold on...

Please, just a moment...

I'll get rid of her clothes so you can put yours in the wardrobe.

I'm very sorry.

Could you take the clothes, at least for a while?

I wanted to bring Vittorio, but it's only for a few days.

Well, you could have brought him. I can't wait to see him again.

- Are you staying a few days, then? - Just a couple of days.

- Do you mind? - No, I'm happy you're here!

Good, Saturday and Sunday. I can show you some of Milan.

The Dome, the Opera House... "The Great Milan!"

Don't be hysterical! What am I supposed to do, kill my own wife?

Yes, you'd kill your wife just like you'd blow up that tower!

Then I'll kill myself, too! I'll throw myself in the river!

- Actually, both of us! - Alright, alright.

I said I'll throw both of us in!

- Throw yourself in, but not me! - Don't act like you don't know.

- I'm not talking about you! - Then who?

- Who? - Still don't understand?

Right, because you don't know how babies are made, do you?

- No! - You're just late, you'll see. - Yeah.

- Are you sure? - Not sure, no. - Then you're just late.

Have you felt any of the symptoms? Dizziness...

You don't get dizzy right away.

Stomach pains, nausea? Does your back ache?

This morning when I woke up my back was aching, yes.

- No, you must just be late. - Yeah, like hell I'm late!

You keep saying that I'm late but you're not doing anything about it!

- What can I do? It's my fault, is it? - So you're saying it's my fault?!

I'm sure both of us are to blame!

It takes two people, so it must be the both of us who are to blame!

Yeah, alright.

- What day was it last month? - The 24th.

- What day is today? - The 28th. - You're usually on time.

- I'm not a stopwatch you know! - Alright, calm down! Don't get angry.

- The symptoms? When did you first have them? - My God, these symptoms...

I told you, when I woke up this morning my back was aching.

- But now you're fine. - Yes. - You're really fine? - Yes.

Then you must be pregnant.

Well, I might just be late.

- Actually, I must be late. - See, you're scared as well.

I said it's probably the case.

- Yes, but you said in such a way... - In what way? - Resigned.

Resigned, what do you mean? Even if it is, even if I am...

Even if you are... See how resigned you are?

See? I'm not the irresponsible one.

You're there, having fun and not worrying about the consequences...

... about the mess we find ourselves in.

No, it's probably just a false alarm.

- How do you feel right now? - I feel fine now.

- And this morning? - Like I said, I had backache when I woke up.

Then you must be pregnant.

"Come on, boys!" See how great that sounds?

It means "Come on, boys!" Yet you translated it "Come in, boys!"

I didn't mean "in" as in "in", I meant it as in "let's go in!"

I see, but I'm afraid you've just lost the meaning of the phrase.

I did mention how important it was to be faithful to the text...

Look at this! Please, sit over here with me.

Here, where the author is describing the flag-raising on board...

... you translated it: "the marines uncovered themselves."

... whereas the English says, "the crew raised their hats".

- It didn't sound right. - Why? Raised! Understand?

You will tell me that when one raises his hat, he uncovers himself...

... but that is being unfaithful to the intentions of the author.

I always tell the translators, don't try to invent, just respect the text.

Look here. You translate it as: "He shakes his hand..."

But the English is more specific: "He squeezes his hand tightly..."

May I?

"Squeezes his hand!"

- But you say shake, not squeeze. - Yes, but English is more specific!

My dear, can I give you some advice? Get a little more experience first...

... with some small editor, and then come back.

In a few months, in a year. But first get some experience.

- Here I am, empty-handed. - Don't worry about.

In Milan there are loads of editing houses, you'll find something.

- Don't worry. - Yeah, don't worry... - And I'm here, don't forget.

- Thanks, but doing what? - Writing on the typewriter.

- Yes, but what? - You dictate and I write. - But dictate what?

The work!

- What work? - Come on, no one ever dies of hunger in Milan.

And anyway, I have good news. I was just late, you know?

- Really? - Don't you have anything to say? Aren't you happy?

- I don't know. - What's that face for? - No, it's that idiot over there...

"No one ever dies of hunger in Milan."

Once again it turns out Anna is right.

Carlone got me in as an auditor and aspiring advertising man...

... at the Study Centre for the Persuasion of the Masses.

High-fat biscuits?

Please, take some high-fat biscuits.

Is there anyone who hasn't taken some high-fat biscuits?

Low-fat biscuits?

Low-fat biscuits?

You have been given biscuits, some with butter and some without.

Taste them and tell me which of the two you prefer.

Those who prefer the biscuits with butter...

... high in fat, creamy and with more flavour, raise your hands.

Put your hands down.

Those who prefer the biscuits without butter, low in fat, more dry...

... raise your hands.

Put your hands down.

And who found no difference?

Thank you.

You felt the presence or the absence of butter...

... with your ears, not your mouth. The biscuits were exactly the same.

And it is on this fundamental principle that you will base your future work.

The public must taste things with their ears, eyes and hands.

The mouth is not needed.

Neither is the butter, the real fat, or the grapes in the wine.

The natural substances of modern industry are set to disappear.

The important thing is that they do not disappear in the mind of the modern man.

This desire to consume real wine, real butter and real milk.

And this principle applies to all of production, not just that of foods.

This egg tastes like plastic.

Try some, it's so bland.

How can I advertise suppositories without making it sound distasteful?

- What can I write? - It's distasteful to talk about suppositories at the table.

- Think about cookies. - I can't, my head is full of suppositories.

What do you care about culture? Try to think like an idiot.

But I am an idiot! Look, I even came up with this.

The head of a child in the middle, "What are a child's first words?"

"Dada, Daddy, Doo-doo..."

But soon after that it will be: "Carli Cookies, Dad!"

"Carli Cookies... we're no rookies! Carli Cookies means quality."

Listen, if I was to choose 3 extinct words, they would be: quality, liberty, virginity.

- Are you referring to me? - Yes, I'm referring to you.

It's useless, this isn't the job for me. I'm not cut out for this kind of thing.

What do I know about cookies, how grandmother made them?

What can I possibly know? How did your mother make them?

Mother, show me the light!

Mother of God, why did I even think about writing this kind of thing?

We only have one Mother! Mother, we only have one!

Mother, we only have one...

That's it. That's it!

- I've got it. - Oh, really? - I'll use that joke as a slogan.

- The one about Little Piero. - Which one? - It's an old one.

A teacher gives her class a theme: 'We only have one Mother'.

So Little Piero writes: "I had eaten 3 jars of jam."

"Mother asked me to bring her the 4 jars of jam from the cupboard."

And so Piero says: "Mother, we only have one!"

- You see? - What does that have to do with cookies? - It's the slogan!

I'll write something like: "Mother, we only have one!"

"... box of Carli Cookies, we have to buy some more." - That's good.

You gave me the idea.

"The digestant that guarantees..."

"Tranquility, serenity..."

"With one cachet, or at maximum three..."

"Your heartburn will certainly flee."

"Your heartburn will certainly flee."

Do you like it?

And just like that, thanks to digestants, suppositories and cookies...

... while the national economy was starting to show cracks...

... my personal economy got better.

Hey, excuse me!

- When will you unwrap it? - In the spring...

... when the fog goes away and the weather starts to change.

With this economy nobody is buying anything anyway.

But some people were...

... and so we went to live in one of those alien quarters...

... known as 'satellite quarters'.

33, 34, 35 and 36, thank you.

- If you need anything else, we are at your disposal. - Thank you.

You have to push the elevator button really hard.

36 transactions, 3 years of hard work.

Though, I did get it done before the new tax laws came in...

... so, I filled the new apartment with furniture.

But perhaps I made a mistake: My name is now in the phone book.

Mr. Bianchi, this is the Electric Company calling...

... we thought we might help...

... our insurance company could save you...

... for our dear King in exile, we are organising...

... the Socialist Party knows of your ideas...

Hey, I'm like Saint Thomas! I'd like to reach out to you.

I wanted to prove to you that our new device...

VERY SICK DO NOT DISTURB

Good day, Sir. May I?

But Mr. Tartuca, I don't live here. I live in Guastalla, you see?

My domicile is there, and that's where I pay taxes.

But you're here, you work here and here is where you must pay.

- So why didn't they give me residency when I asked for it? - That's not important.

You asked, and this is how it is. We're dealing with the facts, here.

You pay rent of 700,000 lire a year.

- Therefore you must have an income of at least 3 million. - What?

I don't have a salary, I work in advertising.

- Sometimes I don't get work. - Then why did you get such an expensive apartment?

Because I hope the earn just enough money to cover the rent.

- What if I don't earn anything? - Then it's worse for you.

We will still tax you for 200,000 lire per year...

... plus 120,000 lire for last year, and the 40,000 lire fine.

But I've only been living in that house for a month!

- You've lived in Milan for a year. - Then I'll move back home.

Alright, but first you have to pay.

Please, try to understand, I have two fires to stoke.

One is here, with a lady, and one is in Guastalla with my wife and kids.

Mr. Bianchi, does that seem right to you?

No, but these things happen.

Do you think that the State reduces taxes for all those in adulterous relationships?

Sir! What happened?

Do you feel ill?

Damn...

Miss! Listen, there's a man here who is ill and has fallen down.

- I think he hit his head... - I don't want to hear it...

I have enough problems with the Vice Squad, thanks.

I'd leave him where he is, if I were you.

There's a man outside...

He might be drunk...

I said there's a man outside who is really ill.

Alright, but don't tell them the name of the place.

Give me a token for the phone.

Does anyone have change?

Could you lower the volume, please?

It really is the sour life up here, you fall down and no one helps you up.

They come looking for you when and only if you have something to pay.

Hello? Emergency services? Yes, it's a real emergency!

Listen, a man is injured...

Words, as Mayakovsky once wrote, get old just like clothes.

The words 'pure', 'white', 'clean', they have been worn out.

CIS, the largest producer of chemicals in the country...

... has allocated 700 million lire for the launch of a new detergent.

Our studio must come up with a slogan that penetrates the mind of the masses...

... and guarantees CIS exclusivity.

You must concentrate all your efforts, all your genius...

... in finding equivalent words for 'white', 'pure', 'clean'.

HYPER-SUPER ULTRA-WHITE

Quality, liberty...

... virginity.

Virgin...

"Until 5 o'clock in the evening!"

Passing from the poetry of Garcia Lorca to 'virginal' is a big jump!

Excuse me, President...

The thing now, Mr. Bianchi, is to make sure you have no regrets...

... because the act of grabbing millions of people with just one word...

... well, it is a cultural event.

Never forget that the word 'reborn' was invented by Gabriele D'Annunzio.

And now look at Mario Soldati, a writer and director who became popular...

... when he discovered the word 'salama'.

Is this one yours, too? "It isn't true, that every stew..."

That really tapped into the...

... conscious of the average Italian consumer.

- "The brandy that creates atmosphere." Is that yours? - Well, yes.

Without a solid knowledge of culture, you can't create this classicality...

... which is the most important quality in modern advertising. Two CIS specials.

- You take it straight, don't you? - Yes, please.

"Now you're in the know!" That's yours too, isn't it?

- Well, not really. Anna gave me the idea. - Your wife?

Well... only in bed.

What I don't understand is that you were part of our team 6 months ago...

... but then you were dismissed. For what reason?

- Low productivity. - Low productivity?

Vessani! Get me Conteresta one the video!

- Yes, Mr. President? - Very well done, Conteresta.

Allow me to compliment you, especially on your recent initiatives. In fact, at the...

... end of the month you will be transferred to our oil refinery in Bagnara Calabra.

That's it, remain in this position and concentrate.

Sir! I know that you have a slipped disc, but...

The most recent successes in the science of western advertising...

... are based on the deciphering of this position...

... the position of the fetus in the maternal womb.

Try to empathise.

For months, the human being lies just like this; fed, warm, protected.

Then unfortunately is born, becomes 'me'...

... and enters into a state of insecurity and instability.

This is why, for his entire life, man will be subjected quite violently...

... to all those ideas and sensations that might free him from this insecurity.

All of us want a fridge, because it contains, protects, conserves.

We consume soup because it reminds us of the amniotic fluid...

... please, get up... in which man was immersed before being born.

Why do children and even women have no problem entering aeroplanes?

Because the aeroplane, you see, reminds us of something ancestral.

Miss, the chalk. In fact, how is an aeroplane shaped? Like this.

And what does this shape remind you of? The maternal womb.

Therefore entering an aeroplane is just like entering the nest.

The argument could of course be widened to include...

... all those shapes and forms for which and in which man lives today.

Miss, please don't laugh when you really haven't understood a thing.

Today there is an increase in vertical forms; those of skyscrapers, missiles...

... in reaction to that sense of flattening, of impotence...

... that is these days increasingly felt among the civilised masses.

Except for in particular cases like me.

The obelisk of the Pharaohs was little more than a phallic symbol.

At this point you might laugh, but of course you don't understand.

A symbol that was some kind of reaction against the crushing violence of nature.

The staff that have the honour to work here...

... adopting the principles of the science of western advertising...

... will base the launching of chemical and plastic products of CIS...

... on this study of forms, of colours and concepts...

... adapted to strike a chord with the roots of human nature...

... and put the consumers in a state of complete and absolute hypnosis.

Now that you've become an 'occult persuader'...

That's what they call it, isn't it?

You will have to be careful before making new purchases of your own.

In trying to tell people that the car multiplies the capacity of man...

... that it removes you from the slavery of the masses, I've surrendered myself.

Here it is, the cheerful Sunday of the average man.

Damn, how the average of the average man has increased!

It is a triumph for the average! An increase in the average speed...

... the average devaluation, the average rate of the call-girl...

... the average height, average age, the middle class, middle school...

... the average legal separation!

The only thing left remaining is...

- The wives. - Yes, but the official wives.

We don't have an average divorce yet.

- Terrible Sunday, wasn't it? - No! - Come on...

- There are so many in a year. - It's a shame, though.

We spend such little time together, to ruin even one...

Don't worry about it, the only ones that matter are during the holidays.

New Years, Easter... this year we'll spend them together, won't we?

By the way, my wife wrote to me. She wants to come and stay.

It's during the school holidays, and she had her heart set on it.

If you think I'm going to Rome for Christmas, then you're mistaken!

Who said that? Come on, don't get angry.

Who wants you to go to Rome?

Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something but now I won't.

Who know how you might interpret it.

Luciano, I don't know languages like you but I know Italian. Talk!

"Talk"... No, I won't tell you.

- Tell me! - Nothing, I was thinking... See, we can't even argue anymore!

Even that has gone. Why? Because we're living in the same house.

If you argue with me, where will you run off to?

Goodnight. One less average man.

If you had your own little place, you know, just as a formality...

... we wouldn't have to worry about situations like this.

And anyway, it might be nice to have some of your independence back.

As you say, we don't have money problems It would be easy to buy you a house.

- Would you really buy me one? - Of course.

- Perhaps here, in the same area. - Yes, in this 'satellite town'.

- I should ask if they have anything for sale. - That's just perfect!

A satellite town... Even a satellite wife!

Anna!

- Dad isn't here. - He'll be waiting by the entrance.

- Porter! - He's always so busy, perhaps he couldn't make it.

- And the suitcase? - No, I'll carry the suitcase.

- How can I help you? - Nothing, I was reading 'Rin Tin Tin'.

Excuse me...

So, what is this big surprise of yours?

If you would mind waiting 5 seconds...

4, 3, 2, 1...

Incredible! My dear Bianchi, well done!

We'll do it every year, every time there's a holiday...

... and our skyscraper will be an attraction for the entire city!

- Here you are. - Cheers! - Congratulations, my man!

I've been thinking about blowing up that skyscraper for a year.

I wish you would have! It's insured for twice its value, you know!

- Oh, really? - Really!

... don't put your hands on the plate while I'm cooking!

- When your father gets here... - What do I care about that?!

- Vittorio, what kind of talk is that? - Hi, Dad! - How are you?

- Is that Luciano? - Where did you learn that? - Hi, how are you?

- Darling, how are you? - Why didn't you come to the station?

- I did come. - We looked all over for you.

- Here, take your coat off. - Perhaps I got the wrong gate.

- There were so many people... - It gets like that during the holidays.

- I see you've already settled in. - Libero is here, too. - Where is he?

- The dinner is almost ready. - Hi. - Hi!

- How's it going? - It's going.

I brought you something.

Here!

- Nice! Where did you catch them? - I'll cook them just how you like them!

With olives and truffles. Where's the cutlery in this house?

- In the kitchen. - I can see you need a woman around.

I know what you're thinking, Libero, but it wouldn't have helped anyone.

No one would have understood it because too many still believe in miracles.

The truth is that the only real economic miracle...

... would be to find a way to multiply bread and fish...

... and give it to the people, for free, out of happiness.