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โช Do you take Danielle to be your wife?โช
โช To have and hold her for the rest of your life?โช
We can't get married like this.
Hello? We're missing the rings.
-Oh, the rings! -The rings!
[laughs]
He-He's still here. You...
You didn't take him to the dump.
I would've given him back to you.
I'm not gonna dump your favorite chair.
Aw, thanks, Ash.
A man and his chair, that's an intimate bond.
Shouldn't mess with that.
So is no one gonna mention that two people
just walked out of that bathroom?
Oh, do you mean your new and improved bathroom?
We made a few updates.
To make it safe for the new tenant.
We installed some shower bars and put a chair in there.
Um, hey, guys, didn't you say
that there was something else you needed to pick up
at the hardware store?
Yeah.
You're late.
I hope this goes better than last time.
Well, that is entirely up to you.
โช โช
Don't you look pretty?
Hi, June.
You must be thirsty now that you're back in school and busy.
And don't worry, I won't be staying.
But how's the new job going?
It'll take some getting used t--
-Oh, let me get that. -It's all right.
I must've had butter for breakfast.
Now I see where I get it. I'm always spilling things.
It only happens sometimes.
When you're nervous?
I'll be right back.
Thanks for not telling Dad.
You know I don't like keeping secrets.
We'll tell him after.
Call me when you're ready.
-Love you. -Love you too.
Here you go.
Sorry about that.
[snoring]
[phone ringing]
[groans] I got it. I got it.
DANI: No, I'm awake.
I got it.
[phone continues ringing]
It's not my phone.
-Me neither. -Where is it?
Oh, please, God, make it stop. No, no, I can't.
-Andre, this hurts. -I got it. Shh, shh, shh.
Yeah, hello?
Uh...
Hello?
Yeah, well, do the thing to make that happen.
Mm-hmm.
DANI: What's that?
Uh, they say we missed checkout. I don't know.
When did we check in? Where...
Do you know where we are?
You got questions? Who are you?
Oh, and why does everything hurt? What...
Sweet mercy.
Hey, I didn't hear you.
You're working so hard.
Ah, it's a pitch for my editor.
Hit me with it.
Okay.
"What is the potential fallout when biological parents
reenter a child's life after adoption?"
Big departure from the piece you did on Malone.
Yeah, but there's just so many perspectives and situations.
You have, obviously, open adoptions.
You have people that stumble upon the truth
when they take those little "family tree in a box" tests.
No, no, it's more common than you would think.
I know a writer is supposed to write what he knows,
but this is a little close to the bone.
We're basically the poster couple for successful adoption.
If I'm respectful of people's feelings
and look out for potential pitfalls...
And I think if you raise your children
with a strong moral fiber, good ethics,
and they know right from wrong, they can stay out of the chaos.
But it's not as though they can do whatever they want
with whomever they want.
-They still need boundaries. -True.
Martin, where are the kids?
-Tyrell's at the movies. -And Samantha?
At Orphey Gene's.
With June.
Do you have much time?
I know that we kind of planned to do this on your day off.
Take all the time you need.
My manager's cool.
And it's not every day I have mother-daughter time.
I feel privileged that you even wanted to...
after everything.
You did the right thing for me and Tyrell,
and that's what's important.
And you have a job. Do you like it?
It's... different.
You know, it's been a while since I've been indoors
around people, but the people I've met...
Met the Anita Williams herself.
My great-grandmother.
Now, that's a classy lady.
She's the best.
Your fathers set you up real nice.
You have so many wonderful women around you.
What did you want to talk to me about?
I-I need advice.
Okay.
It's about... boys.
You're moving in.
Herbert lives here now.
And those safety bars in the shower--
those are permanent fixtures, like you.
That bathroom is your sanctum sanctorum, your happy place.
Now it's ours.
Now, it's an outpatient outhouse.
Is this a pronouncement on Naomi's carpentry abilities?
I-I'm sorry. It's too big of an adjustment.
-We'll go slower. -Don't get me wrong.
I love you guys for pitching in
and doing an instant revamp, but...
You're completely overwhelmed. Okay, message received.
Baby steps.
-Thanks. -Hey.
You are not my patient or my problem.
You just need my help right now.
I'm gonna need yours, too, one day.
Yeah, just wait until my hero instincts kick back in.
Oh, those are always there.
You were just rescuing me from a cluttered bathroom.
It ain't that deep, and you ain't that noble.
I think I'll survive.
How did we get on a cruise ship? And how do we get off?
-This is your fault. -No sir.
The first round was on you.
You know, I'm sure there's plenty of blame to go around,
and when we find a copy of the bill, we...
-What? -The Bill.
Oh, no.
Bill.
What about him?
Not the man.
The cocktail.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, and then I'm pretty sure someone mentioned something
about going someplace else.
Is this someplace else?
Go look out the window and tell me what you see.
Uh-uh, you go.
Baby, I can't get vertical right now,
and that window is so far.
Okay, one second.
-My phone says, uh, Vegas. -What?
No, no, no, no, no. That was just a nightmare I had.
I had it too.
You dragged me to Vegas?
We can't be here. I-I have things, people.
Oh, shh. I'm pretty sure this was your idea.
So what if it was? We're both old enough to gamble.
How much did we lose, Andre?
Need to go over details?
You think I'm new here?
I need more men like you.
Intuitive. Never let me down.
Not trying to start.
Good. This job is right up your alley.
But...
is it really work when you love what you do?
What's the occasion? Can't be thirsty, so you're what--
drinking to forget?
To remember who you used to be
before you became someone else.
Whatever's on your mind, please, out with it.
I have been invited to an exclusive
high-stakes poker game,
and I'm going.
Like hell you are.
Uh, we think we have everything we need to finish installing.
Oh, you guys are the best, but we are famished.
Great. Let's go out then. Orphey Gene's?
-Yeah. -Uh, actually,
I don't think I'm up for a field trip just yet,
if-if that's okay.
Of course. I'm so sorry. I should've asked you first.
Maybe Jacob can hang out and we get started
on the kitchen cabinets?
And Naomi and I could go do the hunting and gathering.
You don't mind, do you?
No, it sounds like fun. Yeah.
-Be back in a few. -Okay.
[Naomi clears throat]
What was I thinking?
Yeah, that's what I would like to know.
-Thank you. -My pleasure.
See you soon.
See? Just because you're getting married
doesn't mean you let the steam out.
ASHLEY: Okay, firecracker.
Okay, did you rush them out of here fast enough?
-What's up? -Where is it?
The thing I asked you to get from my apartment.
Oh, yeah.
You know, if you weren't in that chair,
I had about a dozen pranks I was ready to pull.
Well, I'm in this chair, and you know
I'm under enough pressure without...
Here it is.
Good work, Detective.
JACOB: Is it just like you remember it?
It feels like a different lifetime when I proposed.
Listen, man.
There are two things that haven't changed.
Your love for Ashley and her love for you.
You know, ever since the accident,
I keep thinking there's no way she could love me more,
and she goes and surprises me.
You got to hang on to a woman like that.
Yeah.
And this ring
needs a better hiding place.
How about...
Over there behind those books.
Okay, let's see.
Here. Okay.
JACOB: You got it? Be careful.
[grunts]
Yo, Derek. You felt that?
I would be absolutely delighted to do the honors.
That's...
Did we have drinks with your mother?
I can't believe the resemblance. It's-it's uncanny.
Everything okay, hon?
This is not good.
Why can't I remember anything?
Was that a bottle in front of me or a full frontal lobotomy?
-No, no, no, no, no, no, no. -What-what is wrong?
Oh, my God, Andre. What did you do to me?
Whatever that was, you did it right back.
-I would never. -Somebody did.
It's-it's got to be a joke, right?
Right. There's no way this is real.
Because that would be bonkers. We are not married.
-Right. -That's something a woman remembers.
And then Kat came home, and then Nathan and I were...
Were...
Kissing, but that's all, and then she yelled and got mad,
and then Nathan left.
This Nathan-- he's a good kid?
Raised right, like you?
Well... he likes me.
Baby, even a statue would turn his head to look at you.
It doesn't mean you have to like this guy back.
Make sure he's good.
You see, now, nice and good--
very different. Miles apart.
Nice is the things you do. Anybody could do that.
Good grows from your heart.
You're good.
-Thank you. -Protect that.
Have your whole life to do grown-up things.
Sixteen summers? That's a blink.
Being young is not long enough as it is.
Take all the room and time you need
to become Samantha Richardson Smith.
Boys can wait. Let 'em.
You are valuable.
Every choice is too important
to waste on something you'll regret.
How do you not regret stuff?
That's a question too deep for break time.
Okay. How do I act when I see him?
L-Like, what do I do to know if he really likes me?
Be yourself.
I don't even know who I am yet.
That's, uh, um...
W-We're gonna need some more water while I ponder that one.
I'll be right back. Just...
I'm having flashbacks.
Yeah. You share first and then I'll share.
All right, this is gonna sound crazy, but just hear me out.
By the power vested in me by the state of Nevada,
the Knotty Dreams Chapel, and my online certification,
I pronounce you husband and wife.
You may now kiss your bride.
I got to admit, that sounds...
A lot like what you remember?
What was your mother doing there? What...
It was a knockoff.
She has a-an impersonator in Vegas.
Lord help us all.
But the other thing is, if we actually did get married,
there would be proof.
I don't see proof. You?
-Not a thing. -All right, just a wacky dream.
Hold up.
What is that piece of paper?
Nope, nope. It doesn't matter how drunk we got,
that is something that we'd remember.
-Andre. -[whispers] Indoor voices.
[whispers] What is that piece of paper?
I don't see that sheet of paper.
Then I don't see it either.
No, no, no, no. Don't do it.
-I got to. -No. Come on. Come on. It's just,
it's just a hotel bill or a coupon for a fortune teller.
On three.
Okay.
One.
Beyond the Gates will continue.
Behind my back? Without my consent?
I know we should've discussed this,
but Samantha was afraid you would try to stop her.
I would have.
And are you blaming your poor choices on our child?
They've spent time with June before.
With us present. This is different.
They're sitting in the middle of Orphey Gene's.
What's safer than that?
June lived on the streets for years.
She abused drugs, Martin.
She's barely getting her life back together.
We're barely standing up after our major upheaval,
and still, you choose to hide the truth from me.
This isn't the same. Samantha came to me...
Because you're easy.
You are risking our relationship
to get cool points with your kid.
-Hey, I resent that. -How do you think I feel?
Well, at least I told you the truth.
After the fact, Martin.
Like you do every single time!
Samantha confided in me.
Because she trusted you to lie to me.
-Because that is your pattern. -Really, Smitty?
-This is who we are? -Yeah.
In the aftermath.
You know, I don't want to do this right now.
Neither do I.
But I want to draw a line.
I am not comfortable with visits with June
without a family member present.
Fine.
-I'll go get Samantha. -No. I will.
And no more unilateral decisions.
[door opens]
[door closes]
What are you having here?
-We just ordered takeout. -No, I mean,
you know the medical condition that has caused this 180.
Oh, give me a break. I love Derek.
Honey, a few months ago, you turned him down,
and now, what, you want what you refused back then?
Things are different now.
Yeah, he had a life-altering accident.
Okay. I didn't propose to him out of pity.
Well, good. Then tell me the real reason.
And you know what? While you're at it, will you please explain
to me what happened with Andre?
We realized that we belong with other people.
And Derek's accident had nothing to do with it?
It was a wake-up call.
It made me realize how much he means to me.
Look, call it fate, call me crazy, but...
Derek and I were just destined.
What's this all about, Doug?
-My declaration of independence. -I didn't come here for this.
And I didn't sign up to be your side piece.
But you always wanted more.
Something extra just so you can be naughty.
Because it was too easy for you to be decent and respectable.
No, no, no, no, no. You had to keep it flirty
-and dirty. -Where's this coming from?
The man who loved you.
Funny fairy tale, actually.
beautiful princess turned into a...
-What are you now? -Disgusted.
Disillusioned. Tired of these arguments.
You have to forgive me, my love.
I've grown fond of our verbal fisticuffs.
Something that actually inspires any passion
from you these days.
Whose fault is that?
You should've kept this behavior at home.
I will not be taking any direction.
You can pay your companions for that.
Lower your voice. Goodness, how much have you had?
Not enough to fill the void.
God, please don't let that ever be us with our guys.
Never.
Let's go. We can discuss this in private.
I have plans. High stakes. Risking it all.
Doug, don't do this.
Let's try this one more time.
You quit your vices and I'll quit mine.
Looks like I have a game to play.
Something I can actually win.
With your luck, I wouldn't count on it.
Thanks, wifey.
Bro, you can feel your legs.
No, easy. Slow down.
-It's not what you think. -Why aren't we celebrating this?
I haven't told Ashley.
-Why not? -I-I don't want to jinx it.
I-It's just... twinges on and off.
-This is incredible. -You can't say anything.
I want it to be a surprise.
Ashley is trained to notice things like this
-with her patients. -I'm not her patient.
You know I didn't mean it like that.
All I'm saying is we've been through enough,
and-and to give her false hope at this point,
that just seems cruel, you know?
-I can't do that, Jacob. -Yeah, but if you...
L-Look, I've lost control over every other part of my life.
Let me have this.
Let me tell her when I want, in my own way.
I-I'm not asking for your approval,
just your silence.
Yeah, whoever set this up has jokes.
Probably laughing all the way to the altar.
-So funny. -So funny.
But even if we did do the thing that certificate says we did,
where's the evidence?
It's not real until you see a picture, right?
That's an actual law of photography.
Turned off.
Yeah, mine's dead.
Do you really want to see pictures of us
drunk, stumbling down the aisle?
No, thank you.
I can honestly say, husband...
...there is no one
I would rather not remember marrying than you.
What'd the chief call you-- pesky reporter?
I have a few names for him, too, but
I guess I'll keep those to myself.
I got a copy of the profile you wrote.
Before it was released.
Should thank your lucky stars you took the high road.
Yeah, you don't really go in that space, do you?
The air is too rarefied up there for my taste.
You know, there's two versions of that story.
The one that you read and the other one on a hard drive
and in the cloud and in a safe deposit box.
So, if you ever cross a line, or if anybody in my family
thinks of you as a problem,
the world will know the truth about you, and it'll go viral.
The Duprees have a lot more to lose than I do
if that story ever sees the light of day.
If that's the case, I guess we'll both enjoy
less involvement in our lives.
Delete the story.
Won't make the truth about you disappear.
You'd be smart to remember that.
You want to know how to act around this guy?
Baby, you have time, plenty of time to figure out boys.
Look at this picture.
Samantha, you have that it factor.
Any guy would be lucky to have you on his arm.
It's just, the guy that I like,
he seems so sure.
That's frontin'.
Inside, he's just as new at this as you are.
See, what gets tricky is, when we like somebody,
it gets easy to lean too hard into what they want.
We make ourselves like what they like and do what they do,
and if we're not careful,
we'll stop listening to that voice inside of us.
Protect that.
That's your Janie voice.
Like in Their Eyes Were Watching God,
the book that I'm reading.
That's how you know you're still you.
Thanks, June.
And-and, you know,
stay away from people who want to rush you.
Want you to ripen too soon.
Life is long.
You don't have to figure everything out right now.
And when I can't figure it all out,
can I... can I ask you?
I would talk to your fathers first.
They know you better than I do, but I'm here for you.
How'd I do?
You're amazing.
So are you.
Um, maybe we can do this again sometime.
If you want to.
I could always use help with boys, so yeah.
Okay, uh-uh, you better keep your head in those books,
reading and studying and listening to your parents,
and you'll be just fine.
Oh, my goodness. I see some people over there,
they need some water, uh, so...
I'll talk to you later. Okay.
Calling your ride?
[door closes]
-How was the movie? -It was okay.
Tyrell?
I just want to go to my room.
Yeah, you can do that.
But...
I miss you, son.
Aside from me loving you because I'm your father,
I actually like you.
And I miss spending time with you.
Beating you at chess is probably the one thing I miss the most.
Look, I know I've disappointed you,
and I'm sorry.
But I hope one day you will try to understand.
All I know about is today, now.
And I hoped we were moving in the right direction
after pizza night.
Look, I know we may never get back to where we were,
but we can start strong right where we are now.
Will you give me that grace?
You rang?
Glad you could join me.
-You've been on my mind all day. -Oh, what a day it's been.
So, she called to fill a need.
-So what do you need? -That could fill a book.
Now, that's what you want.
That's easy, but what you need is something very different
than what you've had.
-Doug? -Mm.
And we were having such a nice time
before you said his name.
What's he done now?
A few too many of those.
-Little early to be drinking. -You tell him that.
God knows he won't listen to me anymore,
and one addiction leads to another with him,
and that never ends well.
Maybe you need to dip your toes in different water.
You know, a change of scenery can do wonders
to form a new perspective.
Are we talking about that suite at the Watergate?
More like a beach bungalow.
Tropical breeze. Fresh air.
Tempting.
And not a Doug in sight.
Just you and me and whatever makes your toes curl.
Put yourself in my hands, sweetheart.
Let me show you the way to paradise.
We could stay here forever.
What do you tell your parents?
I'm an adult.
Oh, oh, don't make me laugh. When I laugh, everything hurts.
I can't. That's what we do for each other.
And what about your daughters? What are you gonna tell them?
That their father made me do it.
No. We got to face the music, Dani.
Except when you return to the DMV,
your music will be a string quartet.
My music will be a second line jazz parade
and the funeral will be mine.
So you don't think that when Nicole finds out that her nephew
is also now her brother-in-law, that she won't come for me?
Have you met your sister?
-She gonna skin you alive. -Oh, Dani, you are cruel.
-I'm so sorry. -No, no, it's okay.
We got it.
That marriage certificate is just a piece of paper.
We can make it go away, just like that.
No one ever has to know we're husband and wife.
-It's our little secret. -Yeah.
Can we at least talk about it?
I don't know. Are you ready to hear the truth?
Sure. Let's hear it.
Number one.
Thanks for not overthinking and micromanaging
me and Samantha when June came out of nowhere.
That was commendable.
Thank you.
You raised us right.
You got to trust that we'd make the right decisions.
Another thing.
You're not gonna like it, but...
...I've been letting you beat me.
At chess. For years.
Since the second time you played me.
In your dreams.
I've been dragging you this whole time.
I see how it is. Okay, you want to switch it up?
Let's change it.
Let's take it back. Mancala.
Son's choice.
And we'll chat while I lovingly
dust the floor with your ego.
Nice.
So, there's a bill you're co-signing in Congress
and I'd like to hear more about.
I'd love to tell you about it.
-I know you're angry... -Go wait in the car.
Why won't you just let me talk to her?
-We will talk at home. -You'll talk.
Car, now.
Thank you.
June.
Hey, do you have a minute?
Yeah, anything for the man who let me see Samantha.
It was the nicest time.
Yeah, she didn't ask permission.
And if she did, I wouldn't have allowed that.
I beg your pardon?
Martin and I, we allowed you to see the kids
to give you closure.
When you put them up for adoption, you did so
so that they would be happy and safe
and have the life that, at that point,
you could've only imagined.
-True, but... -They're thriving, June.
And the last thing I think any of us wants
is for something to come along and disrupt that.
And I'm that something?
That's not exactly what I said.
If Tyrell and Samantha want to know me...
They're underage.
One word from me, and this all comes to a close.
Did I do something wrong?
Okay.
Okay, June, if the kids
insist on seeing you, I won't stop them.
I really hope you wouldn't.
Look, they might be willing to forget
how you just let them down in the past, but I remember.
I was there when you signed them away.
And I will be here if you hurt them.
And if you do,
I promise you, it is the last time
either of us will make that mistake.
What if tomorrow it all goes away,
and I-I feel nothing for the rest of my life?
What then?
I'm not gonna get her hopes up like that, Jacob.
-[door unlocks] -Just let it go.
-Look who's back. -How'd everything go?
NAOMI: Good.
Uh, Jacob, you want to grab the drinks?
Yeah.
Is everything all right?
Looks like you've been up to something.
Oh, I mean, you know how it is. Carpentry gets me going.
Well, in that case.
Well, now that we've got all this connubial bliss stuff
out of the way, who's ready to eat?
-Let's do this. -Uh, wait, before we do,
why don't we make a toast?
-Wait, what? -For what?
Now, you know these Duprees can't have a gathering
without either a toast or a prayer.
Well, some things need to be set apart and celebrated.
Like this moment.
Jacob and I couldn't be happier for our favorite friends.
We knew you'd find your way back to each other eventually.
You're each other's perfect match.
NAOMI: Yeah, and this time, it's forever.
-Best wishes to the happy pair. -Congratulations.
Thank you so much, you guys.
-To forever. -Forever.
You want to take me on vacation?
I want to take you on the romantic getaway
that you deserve.
You should be bathing in moonlight.
Swimming in pools bluer than your eyes.
You should be waited on, catered to, adored.
I hear it's lovely this time of year,
and I've always wanted to go to Puerto Rico, but...
Well, you know the best way
to get rid of temptation, don't you?
Give in to it.
-I don't have time. -Honey, you can't afford not to.
You make it sound so dreamy. I...
I like adventure as much as the next girl.
Let's do it.
What a short, strange trip this has been.
How do I look, Mr. Man o' Mine?
Exquisite. I love the dramatic turn.
Any faster, I'd fall off the merry-go-round.
Well, I'll get us some more water as soon as I can stand.
One more night.
Wait, to do what?
You have to ask?
Okay, that does sound promising.
But we must face the inevitable.
Oh, how the family will talk.
Look at the bright side.
You can say this was a colossal screw-up
or call it a ridiculous waste of a day,
but there's no one I'd rather do...
you know.
You get the gist.
Mr. Romance.
We do speak the same language.
I guess we have to, now that we're married.
When things get rocked...
-We roll. -...we roll.
So let's roll, Mr. Husband.
All right, right by your side, Mrs. Wife.
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