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1
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:06,464
I just think this long-distance
relationship of yours
2
00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:08,257
is so romantic.
3
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:10,301
- Oh.
- There's a Chinese proverb that says,
4
00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:12,094
"Fate brings people together
5
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:14,096
"no matter how far apart
they may be."
6
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:16,933
- Oh, Jen. Oh, that's so sweet.
- Mm.
7
00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:19,060
The Chinese have
such beautiful sayings,
8
00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:20,394
- don't they?
- Oh.
9
00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:21,646
Yeah, and then
some stupid American
10
00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:23,481
will tattoo it on their neck.
11
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:26,526
No, Jen's right, Mom.
12
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,319
You have never seemed happier.
13
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,863
Oh, well,
it's all thanks to Edward.
14
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,281
- Ooh. Mwah.
- Oh, come on, come on.
15
00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:33,699
What can I say?
16
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,743
The woman fills the hole
in my heart.
17
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:36,994
Aw.
18
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:38,497
Thought that was a stent.
19
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,290
You can fill the hole in my face
20
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:42,875
with that piece of pie.
21
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,044
No, you know what, Mom?
It just...
22
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,588
It feels like you're
a totally different person.
23
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,841
You know?
I mean, wining, dining,
24
00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:52,885
flying across the country
to see your boyfriend.
25
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,220
You've really blossomed.
26
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,722
Yeah. No, I do.
I feel more independent.
27
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:59,308
For years, I-I lived for my husband
and my children, and now
28
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:02,478
- I'm finally living for myself, you know?
- Yeah.
29
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:03,646
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, it's a celebration.
30
00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:04,897
Let's have some pie.
31
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:07,149
Oh.
32
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,026
Bonnie, I'm sorry.
We have to be going, actually.
33
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:10,570
- Come on.
- Oh, dear.
34
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,780
Yeah, my-my flight to Connecticut
is tomorrow. So sorry.
35
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,198
- Oh!
- No, no. Uh...
36
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:16,033
Well, you know what?
No. No worries, Mom.
37
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:18,369
You know,
we'll-we'll just have pie
38
00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:20,873
when you come back into town.
39
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:26,210
Listen, I'm-I'm gonna be
a little late tomorrow morning.
40
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,921
I'm taking Bonnie out
for a farewell brunch.
41
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,465
Well, you've been late seven
days this week. Why stop there?
42
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,885
Bye. Bye, Mom.
43
00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:36,179
See you, guys.
44
00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:38,264
You know, I love
that I get to say this,
45
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,850
but I'm really gonna miss my mom
when she leaves.
46
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:43,436
Yeah. I really miss Ed while she's here.
47
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:46,189
Oh, stop. Stop.
You know, so what if,
48
00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:47,690
while she's visiting,
he's a little distracted?
49
00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:48,941
- It's sweet.
- He's more than distracted.
50
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,693
He's head over heels over her,
51
00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:52,862
and that's not good for a guy
with an inner ear problem.
52
00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:54,030
All right, well, yeah.
53
00:01:54,031 --> 00:01:55,907
All I know is
54
00:01:55,908 --> 00:01:58,159
I have never seen her happier.
55
00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,412
I hope I can find something
like that after you die.
56
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:02,872
That's sweet.
57
00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:04,540
You should put that
on a Valentine's card.
58
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,667
Listen, I just think Ed needs a little
59
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,211
- more balance with this stuff, so...
- Ah.
60
00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:10,004
- I'm gonna give him a little talk today.
- Oh, no.
61
00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:11,839
- Mi-Michael Baxter, don't you dare.
- What?
62
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,341
I'm just gonna talk to him.
Just... I'm just gonna talk...
63
00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:15,718
No, no. Do not interfere! This is
not one of those situations
64
00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,011
where you get to...
65
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:19,055
- Play piano?
- No, no, no.
66
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:20,806
It's-it's what you always do.
The...
67
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,683
- Massage a monkey?
- No.
68
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,018
It's being a puppeteer.
69
00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:25,311
- That's not a puppeteer.
- Yes.
70
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:26,687
Puppet's like this.
Wooden slats.
71
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:28,105
Finger, fingers.
72
00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:29,941
Bring in another puppet.
73
00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:32,152
Yeah. I'm the puppet master.
74
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:40,952
Ed's on his way up.
75
00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:42,787
{\an8}He's taking a long time
76
00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:46,666
{\an8}because he's literally stopping
to smell the roses.
77
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:50,294
{\an8}That guy actually makes me want
to hate love.
78
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,505
{\an8}And people are starting to
complain about all the hugging.
79
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:55,550
{\an8}I don't want to say who,
but it's me.
80
00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:58,344
{\an8}All right. It's becoming
a problem here at work,
81
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,054
{\an8}- and I will have a talk with him.
- Mm.
82
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,806
{\an8}Good, 'cause I'm thinking
about getting him some slippers
83
00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:03,224
{\an8}so I can hear him coming.
84
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:04,851
{\an8}You know, the old man shuffle.
85
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:12,442
{\an8}That sounds exactly like
my grandpa.
86
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,527
{\an8}Good memories.
87
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,028
{\an8}- Bring 'em in.
- Aw.
88
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,613
{\an8}Hey!
89
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,783
{\an8}Bring it out, man. Yes.
90
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,160
{\an8}Mike, there's only one drug
that can make you feel
91
00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:25,079
{\an8}like you're walking on air
and sunshine.
92
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,833
{\an8}Yeah. LSD.
93
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:30,835
{\an8}No.
L-U-V.
94
00:03:30,836 --> 00:03:32,670
{\an8}Yeah, about your relationship
with Bonnie--
95
00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:35,131
{\an8}it's becoming
kind of a burden to others.
96
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,091
{\an8}I'm creating problems at work.
I'm sorry.
97
00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:38,843
{\an8}No, no, no, it's okay,
it's okay.
98
00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:41,554
{\an8}You and Bonnie are doing great,
and I don't want to change that.
99
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,347
{\an8}- But it's not okay.
- Oh.
100
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:44,974
{\an8}You know, when you see someone
101
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:46,684
{\an8}once a week every month,
you know,
102
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:49,103
{\an8}you want to take advantage
of every second. It's...
103
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:51,689
{\an8}I understand.
And, again, I don't want to change that...
104
00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:53,858
{\an8}- Yes. Yeah.
- but... I want to change that.
105
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:56,319
{\an8}I'll talk to Bonnie while
I'm driving her to the airport.
106
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:57,570
- Hey, you don't have to.
- All right? Yeah. Huh?
107
00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,698
But you have to.
108
00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:06,120
{\an8}And with that,
your system is up and running.
109
00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:09,666
{\an8}The finest in home security that
I had left over in my garage.
110
00:04:11,627 --> 00:04:14,212
{\an8}- Wh-What was that?
- Oh, that's the security app
111
00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:16,465
{\an8}letting you know
someone's in your apartment.
112
00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:18,758
{\an8}Hey, it's us.
113
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,219
{\an8}Mandy, wave.
114
00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:22,512
{\an8}Oh, no. No, no.
115
00:04:22,513 --> 00:04:24,640
{\an8}The-the camera's
in the smoke detector.
116
00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:28,477
Hi, Kyle.
117
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:31,395
Whoa, I can even hear you.
118
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:34,441
O-Okay, so,
119
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:37,527
{\an8}when you want to set the alarm, you...
120
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,862
{\an8}Okay, when you want to turn
the alarm on...
121
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,490
{\an8}When you... Guys, look at me!
122
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,951
{\an8}When you want to set the alarm,
123
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,869
{\an8}all you have to do
is push "command, 3."
124
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,412
{\an8}- Okay?
- All right. Got it.
125
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,122
- Hey, thanks, Mr. Larabee.
- Uh, you're welcome.
126
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,332
- We really appreciate it.
- Yeah.
127
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:52,750
Don't we, honey?
128
00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:58,215
Mandy. Mandy, look at me!
129
00:04:59,258 --> 00:05:00,466
{\an8}Uh, sorry.
130
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,260
{\an8}Thank you so much.
131
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:05,930
Uh, most people have the camera
off when they're home, but...
132
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,975
you guys do what you want.
133
00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:14,314
{\an8}Do I hear dessert?
134
00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:19,318
{\an8}I made douhua.
135
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,736
{\an8}What is it?
136
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,655
{\an8}It is a traditional pudding
from Hong Kong.
137
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,990
{\an8}Huh.
138
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,451
{\an8}Still dessert, right?
139
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,497
- Mmm. Mmm!
- Mm. Yeah.
140
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,166
I like that.
141
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,836
Yeah, it's creamy. And sweet.
142
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,589
But it's not too sweet.
143
00:05:38,714 --> 00:05:39,922
It's made with tofu.
144
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,425
Oh.
145
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,264
You tricked me.
Are you proud of yourself?
146
00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:49,974
- Vanessa?
-Mom!
147
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:51,934
What are you doing here? You're
gonna be late for your flight.
148
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:53,436
Something happened,
and I thought it would be best
149
00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:55,062
to tell you in person.
150
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:56,481
Did something happen
with Grandma?
151
00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:57,940
- She's so young.
- N...
152
00:05:57,941 --> 00:06:00,234
She's 99.
153
00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:01,569
No, it's...
154
00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:02,987
- Grandma's fine.
- Oh, good.
155
00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:04,572
99 isn't that old.
156
00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:06,866
A lot of people live longer
than that in Hong Kong,
157
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,203
because we have
better health care.
158
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:14,458
But... yay, USA.
159
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,336
Mom, what? What?
160
00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:20,922
Bonnie and I
are no longer dating.
161
00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:23,299
- What?
- Well, Ed told me
162
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,343
that it was causing problems
for you at work, so...
163
00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:26,844
Why would you say that?
164
00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:29,722
As I said before,
we're no longer dating...
165
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,433
Because...
166
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:34,352
we're getting married.
167
00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:36,939
You tricked us.
You proud of yourselves?
168
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,780
- You're getting married?
- Yes.
169
00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:47,448
Isn't it crazy?
170
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:48,824
Totally.
171
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:54,121
The correct response would be,
"Congratulations."
172
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,873
Yes, yes, of course.
173
00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:57,542
Yes, uh, congratulations.
174
00:06:57,543 --> 00:06:58,793
I am so happy.
175
00:06:58,794 --> 00:07:00,378
Oh, I have to call Mom.
176
00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:03,047
She won't know who I am,
but she loves weddings.
177
00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:04,216
It's just... Okay.
178
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,343
Thanks, Mike.
179
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:09,763
This never would have happened
without you.
180
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,766
He keeps saying that.
181
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,768
You know,
I'd like to say, "Young love,"
182
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,104
but that ain't it.
183
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:21,315
You couldn't help yourself,
could you, Mike?
184
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:23,734
I asked you to do one thing--
185
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:26,279
not to mess with
my mom's relationship with Ed.
186
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,030
I just talked to him about work.
187
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,532
I didn't want you
to talk to him at all.
188
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:31,242
Well, how do we know
this is even my fault?
189
00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:32,368
Maybe they're covering
the real problem.
190
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:33,578
Like what?
191
00:07:33,579 --> 00:07:35,496
Maybe your mom's pregnant.
192
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:37,498
Oh, God.
193
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:41,836
No. My-my mom was finally
standing on her own two feet,
194
00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:44,839
and now she's just been swept
off them.
195
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,008
I know. It's because
he's been married four times.
196
00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:49,218
Uh, look, that he's been
married four times
197
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:52,138
doesn't bother me--
it's the four divorces.
198
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,598
Well, he didn't want
to get divorced.
199
00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:55,975
I'm sure
he would rather they died.
200
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,643
Honey,
201
00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,062
- people change. You know that.
- No.
202
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,689
No, look, if Ed
was marrying somebody else,
203
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,232
I could sit back
and root for him.
204
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,901
- But this is my mother.
- I know.
205
00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:07,653
It's my mother. It's not a risk
I want her to take.
206
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,113
Well, what are we supposed
to do about it?
207
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:12,492
Well, you-you should talk to Ed.
208
00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:15,077
Isn't that how we got here
209
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:17,038
in the first place?
210
00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:19,332
Look, if Ed divorces my mom,
it will kill her.
211
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,626
- Oh... Hey, come on, come on, come on.
- It will kill her, which will kill me.
212
00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:25,380
And, trust me,
it won't stop there.
213
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,593
Just want to install
this low-flow showerhead.
214
00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:32,553
It's gonna save us hundreds.
I mean, you know how much
215
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:34,097
the two of them wash their hair.
216
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,225
- Oh, my God!
- What? Wh-What happened?
217
00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:39,310
I saw a mouse!
He ran under the sink!
218
00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,645
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, I-I believe you.
219
00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:42,188
- I don't have to look. Thanks.
- Oh...
220
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,731
Ew, we have mice.
221
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:45,816
Mandy and Kyle
are gonna freak out.
222
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,319
Okay. Well, they're
not moving in for a few weeks,
223
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,987
so I will deal with it.
224
00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:51,739
Oh, babe,
it's right here on the counter.
225
00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:53,157
Oh.
226
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,159
My grandma used to say
I'd lose my head
227
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,119
if it wasn't attached
by my thyroid, cartilage,
228
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,539
C7 and T1 vertebrae.
229
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,959
Hey, it's our security system.
230
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,752
Oh, it's Ryan and Kristin.
231
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:07,213
I promise
I will get rid of them.
232
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:09,298
What?
Is he talking about us?
233
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,425
Yeah, I feel gross just knowing
that they're up here,
234
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:13,345
with their beady little eyes.
235
00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:17,515
- They make me sick.
- It's too bad,
236
00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:19,350
'cause they're kind of cute.
237
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:21,185
No, they're not.
They're disgusting.
238
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:24,439
And they leave their poop
everywhere!
239
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,067
No!
240
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:31,738
This is, like,
the meanest reality show ever.
241
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,657
Turn it off.
242
00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:36,909
- I'm really upset.
- Me too.
243
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,828
I'm gonna go wash my hair.
244
00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:41,915
Hey, save me some conditioner.
245
00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:48,045
- Hey, Ed.
- Hmm?
246
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:50,298
There's a new
Impossible movie out.
247
00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:52,550
You know what the problem
with those movies are?
248
00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:54,302
Yeah, they all end the same way.
249
00:09:54,303 --> 00:09:56,804
So why are you
getting married again?
250
00:09:56,805 --> 00:10:00,224
Oh, you're diving right in,
aren't you, Mike?
251
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:01,642
- Yeah, you know, I'm just wondering
- Yeah.
252
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,102
if you really
thought this through, pal.
253
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,353
Oh, I have.
254
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,980
I'm in love with the woman.
255
00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:07,398
I know you are.
256
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,233
So does everybody
within hugging range.
257
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,819
Why not just keep things
the way they are?
258
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,487
Because things the way they are
259
00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:16,073
means there are 1,800 miles
between us.
260
00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:18,659
- Okay?
- I know.
261
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:21,329
But I'm just going by
the previous four marriages.
262
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:23,122
Seems to me,
being in the same house
263
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,708
didn't prove to be the charm.
264
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:29,295
You know, Bonnie is a woman
of class, of character,
265
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,339
and she deserves
to be treated as such.
266
00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:33,007
She's not some floozy,
some tart,
267
00:10:33,008 --> 00:10:35,760
or some dance hall girl.
268
00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:39,597
Can we leave the golden age
of jazz just for a moment?
269
00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,225
Listen...
270
00:10:42,226 --> 00:10:45,019
you know how many times
Bonnie's been married? Once.
271
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:48,440
And it was one of those "till
death do us part" marriages.
272
00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:51,442
This has to be
the real deal, Ed.
273
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:53,986
You think I haven't thought
about that?
274
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,655
I guess I would feel
a lot better
275
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:57,573
hearing you say that you have.
276
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:59,200
You know,
I'm finding it very hard
277
00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:01,035
not to feel insulted right now.
278
00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:03,371
I'm just coming from the fact
I was your best man
279
00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:05,790
at the last four
Impossible movies.
280
00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:09,795
Well, maybe you'll just have
to sit this one out.
281
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,180
Hey, guys, come on in.
282
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,057
- Hi.
-Yeah.
283
00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:24,433
- Hi.
- Yeah.
284
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:27,436
Vanessa, always
a delight to see you.
285
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:28,980
Sir.
286
00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:31,107
So, what is this about, honey?
287
00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:32,608
Please, come on in, guys,
sit down.
288
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,610
Everybody, come on and sit down.
289
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:38,239
Uh... well, looks like
there's been a lot of talk
290
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,157
about Bonnie and Ed's
relationship
291
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:41,617
behind closed doors.
292
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,119
There has? Wow.
293
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,745
Who-who's-who's been talking?
294
00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:47,291
Well, I, for one. And...
295
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,212
It would appear just me.
296
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,548
Well, I was behind one
of those doors when you made
297
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:59,010
your opinion about my
shortcomings abundantly clear.
298
00:11:59,011 --> 00:12:01,929
Wait, Michael.
Do you... do you have a problem
299
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:03,849
with Ed and me getting married?
300
00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:08,769
Let's just say
there's a problem,
301
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,938
and I'm the one
talking about it.
302
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:14,067
Unless somebody else
wants to join in.
303
00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:18,905
Well, I don't think anybody else
has a problem, Mike.
304
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:21,866
It would appear that way.
305
00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:23,576
And yet...
306
00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:25,578
And yet what?
307
00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:28,206
- Really? Is that it?
- Oh, fine, fine.
308
00:12:28,207 --> 00:12:30,541
Look, it-it was me.
I-I have the problem.
309
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:33,586
- Really?
- You?
310
00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:35,630
My apologies, Mike.
311
00:12:35,631 --> 00:12:38,008
Apparently, I was angry
at the wrong viper.
312
00:12:39,051 --> 00:12:40,927
I am worried about my mom, Ed.
313
00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:42,678
She's finally happy.
314
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,139
Well, I'm sorry I made
your mother happy.
315
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:47,391
I'm a horrible man.
316
00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:50,269
Yeah, but you made four
other women happy as well,
317
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,021
and then you divorced them.
318
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:54,483
Which only made them happier.
319
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:59,737
Look, my mother is finally
doing what she wants,
320
00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:02,240
and I don't want her
to just throw that away.
321
00:13:02,241 --> 00:13:03,991
I see.
322
00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:07,370
You-you don't want Ed
to dictate how I live my life.
323
00:13:07,371 --> 00:13:09,830
- Yes, exactly.
- Because you want to.
324
00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:11,999
What? No, no, Mom.
325
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:15,796
Honey, honey, it does seem
that that's what you're saying.
326
00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:22,845
I said, "honey."
327
00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:26,681
For your information,
328
00:13:26,682 --> 00:13:29,851
I was the one
who proposed to Ed.
329
00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:32,061
- You did?
- Yes.
330
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,729
And there were some conditions.
331
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,773
One being that we live here
332
00:13:35,774 --> 00:13:38,401
so that I could be close
to my daughter.
333
00:13:38,402 --> 00:13:40,444
Oh.
334
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:42,613
Oh, wh...
335
00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:46,034
Oh, see, this is why
I wanted us to talk.
336
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:51,790
I am in control of my life,
337
00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:56,044
and I have no intention
of giving that up to anyone.
338
00:13:57,296 --> 00:13:58,921
- Now, Eddie?
- Hmm?
339
00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,965
- I am hungry...
- Yes. Mm-hmm.
340
00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:04,343
...and I would like you
to take me to dinner.
341
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,971
Very good. I have a few words
to say to Vanessa first.
342
00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:10,474
- Edward!
- Y-Yes, dear. Right away.
343
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:13,520
Isn't she magnificent, huh?
344
00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:17,356
Mm.
345
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:20,360
This is a time for pie.
346
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,785
Hey, got your text.
347
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,080
Oh, did you, Ryan?
348
00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:35,500
Did you get my text?
349
00:14:35,501 --> 00:14:37,836
Hey, Mandy, he got my text.
350
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,838
Isn't that nice.
351
00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:43,132
Good for you, Ryan.
352
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:45,843
Uh, are you guys okay?
You seem upset.
353
00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:49,680
Oh, just upset?
Not filthy? Not gross?
354
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:52,058
Okay, you know what?
Why don't, um...
355
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:54,143
why don't we have this
conversation downstairs?
356
00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:56,687
Oh, wow, you just can't wait
to get us out of here, can you?
357
00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:58,147
Yeah, let's get to it,
Ryan, okay?
358
00:14:58,148 --> 00:14:59,732
We know you and Kristin's
little secret.
359
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,318
Oh, boy.
How'd you find out?
360
00:15:02,319 --> 00:15:04,237
Yeah.
See that smoke detector?
361
00:15:04,238 --> 00:15:05,655
It's a camera.
362
00:15:05,656 --> 00:15:07,699
And a smoke detector.
363
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,451
Sometimes a security system
364
00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:12,828
protects you from people
you already know.
365
00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:15,791
Hey, hon.
Oh, hey, guys.
366
00:15:19,670 --> 00:15:21,254
What?
367
00:15:21,255 --> 00:15:23,297
They installed
a security camera, Kris.
368
00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:24,757
They know everything.
369
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,468
Oh, no. Ooh.
370
00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:30,848
So they saw I put out
some poison?
371
00:15:32,683 --> 00:15:34,892
- Wha...
- Poison?
372
00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:36,978
Oh, my God.
373
00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:38,771
I know it sounds inhumane,
but really,
374
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:41,400
it's just the quickest way
to get it over with.
375
00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:46,070
Well, that's thoughtful, Ryan,
but still horrible.
376
00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:48,948
I mean, if Ryan wasn't
so squeamish about it,
377
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:51,117
I would've run over and grabbed
one of Dad's guns.
378
00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:56,914
Uh, couldn't you just
ask us to leave?
379
00:15:56,915 --> 00:16:00,501
Ask you to leave? No, the whole
point is to keep you in here.
380
00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:04,005
Wha... Wha...
Behind the wall?
381
00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:06,174
Uh, hold up. I'm sorry.
382
00:16:06,175 --> 00:16:09,135
What exactly do you guys
think is going on here?
383
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:10,469
Oh, we know what's going on.
384
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:11,679
You want to get rid of us
385
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:14,640
because we broke
one tiny cabinet.
386
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,809
What? No. No, no.
387
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:18,561
We... we found a mouse,
and we were trying
388
00:16:18,562 --> 00:16:20,479
to get rid of it
before you guys moved in.
389
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,773
All right, nice try.
A mouse.
390
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,443
Because mice are "filthy,"
and they "poop everywhere,"
391
00:16:25,444 --> 00:16:27,236
and you "use poison
to get rid of..."
392
00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:29,281
Oh, it is a mouse.
393
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:33,576
So...
394
00:16:33,577 --> 00:16:36,162
you don't want to kill us?
395
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:39,498
Not before this conversation.
396
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,042
Hang on.
397
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:42,835
- You broke a cabinet?
- Wha...
398
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:45,421
Honey, honey. No, no, it's fine.
We'll fix it, okay?
399
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,131
The important thing
is there is no one
400
00:16:47,132 --> 00:16:49,842
we would rather have living here
than you two.
401
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,677
She's right. You know what?
Everything is cool.
402
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,638
And I promise
I will get rid of the mouse
403
00:16:53,639 --> 00:16:56,098
- before you guys move in.
- No, no, no, don't get rid of it.
404
00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,434
Maybe it'll become friends
with the one that we keep here.
405
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:05,983
Knock, knock.
406
00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:07,610
Viper who?
407
00:17:07,611 --> 00:17:09,111
No, I didn't say viper.
408
00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:11,030
I, uh, uh...
N-Never mind.
409
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,532
Um...
410
00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:15,326
Look, I, uh...
I brought a peace offering.
411
00:17:15,327 --> 00:17:16,494
- Ah.
- Yeah.
412
00:17:16,495 --> 00:17:17,703
It's-it's scotch.
413
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:20,414
I was hoping maybe
we could "tape"
414
00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:23,417
our relationship back together.
415
00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,711
Is that supposed
to make me feel better?
416
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:28,882
Well, booze and a pun--
what's not to like?
417
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:32,760
All right, look, Ed, um...
418
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:36,013
I never should have questioned
your commitment to my mom.
419
00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:40,059
You suggest a man doesn't
deserve the love of his life...
420
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:43,354
and you think a bottle of scotch
is gonna make things right?
421
00:17:43,355 --> 00:17:45,898
Well, I was hoping so. I-I mean,
I-I have another bottle
422
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:48,277
in the car if you think
it's gonna take two.
423
00:17:49,528 --> 00:17:51,821
That really hurt, Vanessa.
424
00:17:51,822 --> 00:17:55,783
I know. I know.
I-I'm... I'm so sorry.
425
00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:59,579
Look, I... I was just trying
to protect my mom from...
426
00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:02,665
I-I mean, I didn't want her
to get into a...
427
00:18:02,666 --> 00:18:06,586
I mean, yeah, I... yeah, I was
just trying to protect my mom.
428
00:18:06,587 --> 00:18:09,505
Look, I know my track record.
All right?
429
00:18:09,506 --> 00:18:12,383
I wanted to propose
to your mother three months ago.
430
00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:13,968
Hmm?
Well, what stopped you?
431
00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:16,345
My track record.
432
00:18:16,346 --> 00:18:19,891
In the past, I decided
to get married on impulse.
433
00:18:19,892 --> 00:18:23,019
And so, so why did you do things
differently this time?
434
00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:24,562
I didn't.
435
00:18:24,563 --> 00:18:26,105
Your mother did.
436
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:27,773
- Mm.
- For months,
437
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:30,026
I agonized, wondering
if I really deserved
438
00:18:30,027 --> 00:18:32,904
that woman, and I'll be damned
if she didn't propose to me.
439
00:18:32,905 --> 00:18:34,780
Gosh, I just...
440
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:37,783
I can't picture
my mother doing that.
441
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,577
She took a knee
in the restaurant.
442
00:18:39,578 --> 00:18:43,122
Three waiters ran over
to help her up.
443
00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:45,833
Other than that,
the service was slow.
444
00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:48,336
If you had doubts, Ed,
445
00:18:48,337 --> 00:18:50,338
why did you say yes?
446
00:18:50,339 --> 00:18:52,465
Well, I was just hoping your...
447
00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:54,926
your mother's judgment
was better than mine.
448
00:18:54,927 --> 00:18:58,804
So, you see, we both
have the same doubts.
449
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:02,225
It's just easier for me
to be mad at you about them.
450
00:19:02,226 --> 00:19:05,228
Well, maybe we're both wrong.
451
00:19:05,229 --> 00:19:07,021
But...
452
00:19:07,022 --> 00:19:09,774
look, this time
is already different.
453
00:19:09,775 --> 00:19:11,359
How so?
454
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:14,028
Well, you broke the pattern.
455
00:19:14,029 --> 00:19:17,865
You wanted to be impulsive,
but-but you waited.
456
00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:19,825
- Hmm, I did, didn't I?
- Yeah.
457
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,869
Oh, may-maybe I've grown.
458
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:24,163
Maybe I'm finally learning
from my past.
459
00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:26,582
Okay, yeah, well...
460
00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:28,209
let's go with that.
461
00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:29,961
All right.
462
00:19:29,962 --> 00:19:32,213
You're a good friend, Vanessa.
463
00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:34,257
Uh...
464
00:19:34,258 --> 00:19:36,175
Or you're just buttering me up
465
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:38,803
because I'm going to be
your stepfather.
466
00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:42,516
You are really gonna hate
the boy I'm seeing.
467
00:19:44,643 --> 00:19:46,644
Thank you.
468
00:19:46,645 --> 00:19:47,937
Oh, bring it in.
469
00:19:47,938 --> 00:19:51,274
There you go. Mm.
470
00:19:51,275 --> 00:19:54,944
Ah, I'm sorry about the cologne.
It's Chuck's.
471
00:19:54,945 --> 00:19:56,529
Hmm.
472
00:19:56,530 --> 00:20:00,199
Now, speaking
of breaking patterns...
473
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,451
how would you like to be
my best man?
474
00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:04,287
Mike's always your best man.
475
00:20:04,288 --> 00:20:06,330
Yeah, I know.
I'm just thinking that maybe...
476
00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:08,125
maybe he's the jinx.
477
00:20:15,799 --> 00:20:17,925
{\an8}Hey, Mike Baxter here
for Outdoor Man.
478
00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:20,303
{\an8}They say it's a dog's life.
479
00:20:20,304 --> 00:20:22,430
{\an8}A dog-eat-dog world.
480
00:20:22,431 --> 00:20:25,057
{\an8}Put a poodle in a tuxedo,
they call it "doggie style."
481
00:20:26,894 --> 00:20:30,229
{\an8}But you can't teach
an old dog new tricks.
482
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:33,900
{\an8}We spend way too much time
thinking about dogs.
483
00:20:33,901 --> 00:20:36,194
{\an8}What people should be doing
is making sure
484
00:20:36,195 --> 00:20:39,530
{\an8}they can learn new tricks,
that they can change.
485
00:20:39,531 --> 00:20:41,532
{\an8}German philosopher
Georg Hegel wrote,
486
00:20:41,533 --> 00:20:42,867
{\an8}"We learn from history
487
00:20:42,868 --> 00:20:46,370
{\an8}that we do not
learn from history."
488
00:20:46,371 --> 00:20:50,124
{\an8}Smart guy who wrote nothing
about dogs.
489
00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:52,960
{\an8}Maybe he was right when it comes
to countries and cultures,
490
00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:56,881
{\an8}but I know for a fact
that individuals can change.
491
00:20:56,882 --> 00:20:59,342
{\an8}I've got a buddy
who drove a half-ton pickup
492
00:20:59,343 --> 00:21:01,761
{\an8}for 26 years.
493
00:21:01,762 --> 00:21:04,222
{\an8}You know what he drives now?
494
00:21:04,223 --> 00:21:06,933
{\an8}A three-quarter-ton pickup.
495
00:21:06,934 --> 00:21:09,602
{\an8}See? Change.
496
00:21:09,603 --> 00:21:11,646
{\an8}And maybe the reason
I have such deep faith
497
00:21:11,647 --> 00:21:13,523
{\an8}that people can alter
the course of their lives
498
00:21:13,524 --> 00:21:16,192
{\an8}is because
I've experienced it myself.
499
00:21:16,193 --> 00:21:18,653
{\an8}If you don't believe me, I've
got some pictures to show you
500
00:21:18,654 --> 00:21:21,447
{\an8}of a young hippy named Mike,
who...
501
00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:25,368
{\an8}who thought George McGovern
should be president.
502
00:21:25,369 --> 00:21:28,580
{\an8} Sure.
503
00:21:30,791 --> 00:21:32,333
{\an8}Took me a second to figure out
504
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:35,378
{\an8}that dog just wasn't gonna hunt.
505
00:21:35,379 --> 00:21:37,506
{\an8}Baxter out.
37409
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