Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:07,590
Wow. We got to get
a better vacuum cleaner.
2
00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:09,843
Got a tree growing right out of
the middle of the living room.
3
00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:13,263
Yeah, it's a good one
this year, Mike, yeah.
4
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:16,098
And the smell, it's just...
It's... it's like it's hanging
5
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,893
from a rearview mirror.
6
00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:19,602
Don't get too attached to it.
7
00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:21,897
In 30 days we'll be kicking
that baby to the curb.
8
00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:25,775
Hey, guys. Don't forget,
Kyle and I have plans tonight.
9
00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:28,487
You're not gonna help us
decorate the fire hazard?
10
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,488
They are cultured, Mike.
11
00:00:30,489 --> 00:00:32,907
They are going to The Nutcracker
with Kristin and Ryan.
12
00:00:32,908 --> 00:00:34,742
Yeah. I've never been to the ballet.
13
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:37,204
I can't believe they get
to wear slippers to work.
14
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:41,207
Well, buckle up.
It's three hours of people dancing,
15
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,752
occasionally interrupted
by people prancing.
16
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:50,007
So, tonight, tonight'll
just be you and me decorating.
17
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,969
- Hmm. You all right with that?
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Definitely.
18
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:56,723
It'll be like when we were just married,
except our tree won't be a fern.
19
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,225
And we won't make the star
out of the tinfoil
20
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:00,935
- out of a Jiffy Pop thing.
- Mm.
21
00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:03,981
You, uh, you remember
what we did with the butter?
22
00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:06,608
Okay.
23
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,985
Come on, babe. I'll take you to work.
24
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:10,695
But don't you want to know
what they did with the butter?
25
00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:11,989
No!
26
00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:16,325
- Have fun, guys.
-Eh.
27
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:17,785
Do you, uh, you have time to eat?
28
00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:20,329
No. I'll eat at work.
29
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:22,164
A vending machine breakfast.
30
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:26,420
Glazed doughnuts and pork rinds
and a emergency rain poncho.
31
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,337
Hmm.
32
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:30,381
You know what...
33
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:33,384
I shouldn't give Ed a Christmas
gift this year, right?
34
00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:35,303
That'd be... That'd be...
That'd be stupid.
35
00:01:35,304 --> 00:01:37,930
Well, no, you...
You and Ed never exchange gifts.
36
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,683
Yeah. Yeah.
37
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:43,519
But, you know, I thought this year would
be different, 'cause he retired.
38
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,647
But that's not a good reason.
39
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,941
No, I... I think that's a great reason.
40
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,028
But I have so much on my plate!
41
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:54,155
I... It feels like you want me
to talk you out of this.
42
00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:56,782
Well, you're not doing
a really good job of it.
43
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:59,911
Honey, this... This is the first Christmas
that Ed's not at the store.
44
00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:02,079
I... I think you should get him
something special.
45
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,041
Now it's got to be something special.
46
00:02:12,925 --> 00:02:14,342
{\an8}- Hey, Dad.
- Hey.
47
00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:16,345
{\an8}Just reminding you I'm leaving
a little early tonight.
48
00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:18,554
{\an8}That's right. Mom said
you're going to The Nutcracker?
49
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:22,893
{\an8}Yay. Three hours of people leaping
interrupted by people prancing.
50
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,022
{\an8}Sometimes you make me so proud.
51
00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:31,067
{\an8}Uh, but I finished my personnel
requests for next year.
52
00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,276
{\an8}- You know, I could've just...
- Thanks.
53
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,945
{\an8}...sent that to you in an e-mail.
54
00:02:33,946 --> 00:02:36,532
{\an8}An e-mail doesn't keep loggers employed.
55
00:02:36,949 --> 00:02:38,866
{\an8}Plus, when I hold 'em
in my hand like this,
56
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:41,702
{\an8}I feel like I've finished my job.
57
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:44,706
But I'm not finished yet. Chuck.
58
00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:45,915
What's up?
59
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:47,792
I'm gonna need those
personnel reports, man.
60
00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:50,044
I got to start making these decisions
before the end of the year.
61
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,047
Oh! I'll have it to you
by the end of the day.
62
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,799
Carol's coming back from, uh,
63
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:58,094
{\an8}California for the holidays, and, uh,
I need time to clean up the house.
64
00:02:58,095 --> 00:02:59,471
{\an8}That's shocking.
65
00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:01,682
{\an8}What, that a Marine cleans his house?
66
00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:04,810
{\an8}No, that Carol's coming back to you?
67
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,145
{\an8}Good one, Baxter,
68
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:11,774
{\an8}he said, pretending the cruel joke
didn't trigger his deepest insecurities.
69
00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,609
{\an8}Hey, guys, can you think
of any Christmas gift
70
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:14,986
{\an8}that Ed might want?
71
00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:17,406
{\an8}How about a ticket to The Nutcracker?
72
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:21,076
{\an8}Why didn't we just stop
having kids at you?
73
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,121
{\an8}Whenever I don't know what to get someone,
I just get 'em a cheesecake.
74
00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:26,497
{\an8}Everybody likes cheesecake.
75
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,249
{\an8}And if they don't,
they might regift it to you
76
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:30,711
{\an8}and then, hey, free cheesecake.
77
00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:34,839
{\an8}What's better than a cheesecake
that's been passed around, you know?
78
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,717
{\an8}With that little tinge
of salmonella in it. Yum, yum.
79
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:40,595
{\an8}Not everybody is as good
at giving gifts as you, Dad.
80
00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:42,054
{\an8}Okay, you always know
what to get people.
81
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,307
{\an8}That's capitalism.
Identify the consumer's need
82
00:03:44,308 --> 00:03:46,143
and supply it.
83
00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:47,435
Who said that?
84
00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:48,729
Dad's favorite philosopher,
85
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:51,272
- himself.
- Oh.
86
00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:52,857
{\an8} He was thinking of putting it
87
00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:54,483
{\an8}- at the entrance to Baxterland.
-Ah.
88
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,152
At the corner of Mike Avenue
89
00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:58,155
and Know-It-All Lane.
90
00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:03,160
This know-it-all might have just
figured out what to get Ed for Christmas.
91
00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:05,579
Um...
92
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,164
{\an8}General rule of thumb.
When I leave my office,
93
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:10,667
{\an8}it's a good idea for everyone
else to leave my office.
94
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:13,504
{\an8}- But there's toys.
- But there's toys.
95
00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:22,970
{\an8}God rest ye merry, gentlemen
96
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:24,805
{\an8}Ye... ye...
97
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:28,227
{\an8}Ye really do look tired.
98
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:32,021
{\an8}Wow, Mom,
you're really in the Christmas spirit.
99
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:34,482
{\an8}Mm. Well, I'm doing one of
my favorite things in the world.
100
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:37,361
{\an8} And decorating the tree.
101
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:42,323
Ah. Uh, you guys...
You're... you're leaving early.
102
00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:44,909
Oh, yeah, we're gonna meet
at Kristin and Ryan's.
103
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:47,828
- You have the tickets, babe?
- Yeah. Uh, right here.
104
00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:49,664
{\an8} Uh-oh.
105
00:04:49,665 --> 00:04:51,666
{\an8}Says we're in the orchestra.
106
00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:54,586
{\an8}I haven't played the tuba
since high school.
107
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,338
{\an8}Oh, Mom.
108
00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:59,341
{\an8}You don't have to hang
my snowflake ornament
109
00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:00,591
{\an8}I made in the second grade.
110
00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:01,884
Are you kidding? I love this.
111
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:04,221
Great, because that was a test.
Where you gonna put it?
112
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,014
Uh...
113
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:08,851
Well, I was thinking of just...
I'm putting it right here?
114
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:11,061
There? Okay.
115
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,563
Why? You have a better idea?
116
00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:15,022
- Yes, several.
- Okay.
117
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,983
Oh. Uh...
118
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,901
Mandy was always in charge
of ornaments.
119
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:21,738
Yeah, because I'm great
with visual placement.
120
00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:24,575
And I'm really, really tall.
121
00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:27,243
I'll just do one to get you started.
122
00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:29,495
- Can I do one?
- Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
123
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:30,997
Here, you can have your pick.
124
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:33,166
They're all wrapped
in newspaper.
125
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,669
Oh, this is from way back
in January.
126
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:39,756
Boy, did we miss out
on a furniture sale.
127
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:44,844
You know what, uh, this is gonna
take me a little bit of time.
128
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,471
So I'll just text Kristin and
tell them to pick us up here.
129
00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,682
Are you sure? Honey, you know,
you don't have to. It...
130
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:53,061
Mom, if I let you decorate the tree,
it'll take me hours to fix.
131
00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:56,773
No offense. Merry Christmas.
132
00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:03,112
Man, you're still working?
133
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:05,364
Carol's not gonna like it
if you're late, unless she's...
134
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,991
on California time, dude.
135
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,872
Well, you asked me to get a job done,
so I'll get it done.
136
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,081
And it'll be letter-perfect.
137
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:18,879
Besides, Carol's still on Colorado
"your ass better be on time" time.
138
00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:23,007
Hey, Ed. Glad I saw you.
139
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,592
- I... I got something for you.
- Good.
140
00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:27,178
I wanted to hand deliver
these Christmas cards.
141
00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:28,846
- Much more personal than the mail.
- Oh.
142
00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:30,182
Not to mention cheaper.
143
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:34,144
125 employees times 50 cents.
144
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:35,811
Adds up.
145
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,230
Okay, okay, okay, okay. Very good.
146
00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:38,481
I did the math.
Thank you very much.
147
00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:40,233
Come on, give me a break.
Give me a break.
148
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,778
I'm... I'm a retiree
on a fixed income, all right?
149
00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:45,905
On your personal mega yacht.
150
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:50,451
Listen, what are you
doing here so late anyway, huh?
151
00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:53,412
Don't tell me that
Mike Baxter has gotten behind.
152
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,624
The only thing I'm behind is Reaganomics.
153
00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:59,211
And you're welcome
for the boom-boom '80s, man.
154
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:02,381
Still waiting
for my trickle-down over here.
155
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:05,883
Anyway, thanks for the card.
156
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:08,302
But I did have extra time to get
something for Christmas for you.
157
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:09,428
So just wait there a minute.
158
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,056
I... I just have a minute.
Just a minute now here.
159
00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:13,307
I'm tending bar at the VFW.
160
00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:14,935
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
161
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,645
I used to host Military Trivia Night.
162
00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:19,313
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah, we had to give it up
163
00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:21,608
because, uh, most of the answers
were "Germany."
164
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:24,694
- Listen.
- Yeah.
165
00:07:24,695 --> 00:07:26,946
The city says
we can name our access road
166
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,698
- to the store anything we want.
- Uh-huh.
167
00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:30,492
So...
168
00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:33,077
{\an8}What? Come on.
169
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:34,872
{\an8}"Ed Alzate Way"?
170
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,206
So the road that brings people
to Outdoor Man
171
00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:41,211
now honors the man that brought
Outdoor Man to the people.
172
00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:43,796
I love that road, Mikey. It's...
173
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,840
It's black down the middle,
beige on the sides.
174
00:07:45,841 --> 00:07:46,966
Now, that's a road.
175
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,551
Yeah, well, now the guys
in the loading dock...
176
00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:49,719
- Yeah.
- won't just say, "Look,
177
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,137
"there's a dead raccoon in the road."
178
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:54,599
They can say, "There's a
dead raccoon on Ed Alzate."
179
00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,353
Well, that's...
Mikey, you're the best, buddy.
180
00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:01,772
- Yeah.
- You're... You're terrific.
181
00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,191
Chuck, look at this.
182
00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:04,984
I got a street.
183
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,819
- I got a street.
- Yeah.
184
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,780
Okay, good.
185
00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:12,284
Did he seem a little too happy?
186
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,286
Yep.
187
00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:16,121
So, he hated it.
188
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:17,664
Yep.
189
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,215
{\an8}Hey, Mike Baxter here for Outdoor Man.
190
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,591
{\an8}Christmas is just around
the corner,
191
00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:30,843
{\an8}so someone you love
is out there right now
192
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,514
{\an8}getting you something
you don't need, you don't want,
193
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:36,183
{\an8}and you can't return
until they're not looking.
194
00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:38,726
{\an8}And the kicker for some of you
195
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,270
{\an8}is they're doing it with your money.
196
00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:41,938
{\an8}Wow.
197
00:08:41,939 --> 00:08:43,981
{\an8}Yeah, the biggest challenge
of the holiday season
198
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:46,401
{\an8}isn't long lines,
or finding a place to park.
199
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:49,237
{\an8}it's opening a present
and not having your face say
200
00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:50,905
{\an8}what you're actually feeling.
201
00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:52,365
{\an8}See, your face has to say...
202
00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:54,201
{\an8}"Oh, I really love this."
203
00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:56,245
{\an8}And what you're really thinking is,
204
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:58,413
{\an8}"Really? Really?
205
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:00,290
{\an8}"Really?"
206
00:09:00,499 --> 00:09:02,918
{\an8}We all want a present
that knocks our socks off,
207
00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:05,254
{\an8}but we don't want socks.
208
00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:09,550
{\an8}Ben Carson said, "Happiness
doesn't result from what we get,
209
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,467
{\an8}"but from what we give."
210
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:13,929
{\an8}Spoken like someone whose
family gets him lousy gifts.
211
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:15,888
{\an8}Right, Ben?
212
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,890
{\an8}If only there was a retail chain
where you could be
213
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,727
{\an8}confident they're gonna love
whatever you get them.
214
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:23,272
{\an8}Oh, wait, I'm sitting in one.
215
00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:26,233
And in Outdoor Man, if you
don't like your new crossbow,
216
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:27,567
you can return it.
217
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:28,901
But you're gonna like it.
218
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,653
Because, unlike the people
buying your gifts,
219
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:33,282
our crossbows actually hit
their targets.
220
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,075
So, from all of us at Outdoor Man
221
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,702
to all of you looking
for the perfect gift,
222
00:09:37,703 --> 00:09:40,289
happy hunting and merry Christmas.
223
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:41,915
Baxter out.
224
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:47,795
Ooh.
225
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:50,382
It's the box with the stockings, babe.
226
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,092
Uh-oh.
227
00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:56,721
You gonna be okay?
Should I get the tissues?
228
00:09:56,722 --> 00:09:58,389
No, I'm fine.
229
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,225
I think I got it all out
of my system last year.
230
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,187
So what if Mrs. B sewed my name
on a stocking
231
00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:05,898
that welcomed me to the family?
232
00:10:06,899 --> 00:10:08,232
It's no big deal.
233
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:10,819
It's just a love stocking.
234
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,616
Guys, hey. Hello? Ryan's been honking.
235
00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:18,202
Uh, Kristin,
a lady never responds to a honk.
236
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,038
Ooh! The tree looks great.
237
00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:23,457
Nice balance, Mandy.
238
00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:25,082
Thanks. It's subtle.
239
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,919
The theme is "Christmas Here and Now!"
240
00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:30,129
Hey, Kristin. I thought I heard you.
241
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,924
- Oh, hey, Mom. Mwah.
- Hi.
242
00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:34,635
Oh, no, Kyle found his stocking.
243
00:10:35,928 --> 00:10:37,471
It's a beauty, Mrs. B.
244
00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:38,930
Well, maybe we should keep it
out all year
245
00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:40,682
so you don't get so overwhelmed.
246
00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:43,060
No, I... I can handle it.
247
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:47,813
Ryan, I thought we were on our way out.
248
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,148
I know. Boyd has to use the bathroom.
249
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,318
I'll be fast. I won't even wash my hands.
250
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,570
Ooh, is that hot chocolate?
251
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,781
Uh, yeah. Kyle and Mandy insisted.
252
00:10:56,782 --> 00:10:58,366
I'd make you guys some, but...
253
00:10:58,367 --> 00:11:01,411
- But don't you have to go?
- Uh, we have time. Right, Ryan?
254
00:11:01,537 --> 00:11:03,956
- Uh... okay, yeah. One cup.
- Yeah?
255
00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,457
Um, with some marshmallows.
256
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,335
- Yeah. Okay.
- And maybe a little nutmeg.
257
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:11,004
Actually, you know what?
I'll just make it.
258
00:11:11,547 --> 00:11:14,299
Oh, Mandy, wow, the tree
is really looking great.
259
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:15,716
Uh...
260
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:16,884
Actually, I wouldn't say great.
261
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,012
I'd say incomplete.
There's no candy canes.
262
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:22,182
Well, I wasn't going to do that.
That's your job.
263
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:25,310
Well, I guess I can at least start.
264
00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:27,019
And you're right, it is my job,
265
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,480
because I am great at it.
266
00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:30,815
Cool! Are we all gonna decorate the tree?
267
00:11:30,816 --> 00:11:33,694
No, no, no. I'm sorry, sweetie.
You probably have to go.
268
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:35,821
Do we?
269
00:11:36,989 --> 00:11:39,156
I think your dad really wants
to see the ballet.
270
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:41,951
You know what? I am back there
making the perfect cup of cocoa,
271
00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:44,538
and I realize I'm not even
gonna have time to drink it.
272
00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:47,331
Oh. Maybe you could.
Uh, how would you feel
273
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:49,500
about staying a little while
and helping with the tree?
274
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:51,586
Uh... well,
we have really good seats,
275
00:11:51,587 --> 00:11:53,880
and, I mean, it's just a tree.
276
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,756
Hey, Ryan, check it out.
277
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:57,259
It's your stocking.
278
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,762
Oh, boy.
279
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,309
Yeah, there it is. Um...
280
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,647
- Hey, Ed?
- Hmm?
281
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,649
Do you know how to make
a cosmopolitan?
282
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:16,361
Of course, of course, yeah.
283
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:18,447
I just won't.
284
00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:20,365
Okay.
285
00:12:25,204 --> 00:12:26,537
What are you doing here?
286
00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,247
Well, after your
little performance at work,
287
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:31,292
I thought I'd stop by and
find out why you hated my gift.
288
00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:34,545
I didn't hate it. I loved it.
Best gift I ever got.
289
00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:36,632
And the Oscar goes to anybody else.
290
00:12:37,341 --> 00:12:38,716
Come on, why did you hate it?
291
00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:40,092
All right, all right. I didn't like it.
292
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:43,222
You know who gets streets
named after them? Dead guys.
293
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:48,018
This is why I gave it to you
this year and not... next year.
294
00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:52,813
Made me realize that my career
at Outdoor Man is really over.
295
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,607
You also realize
you could come back to work
296
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,151
anytime you wanted?
297
00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,487
When a man wakes up in the morning,
298
00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:00,656
he needs to wake up with a purpose.
299
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,158
You see, I'm not needed at Outdoor Man.
300
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,452
I realize that now, thanks to you.
301
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,872
Doesn't sound like you're very grateful.
302
00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:10,915
I actually am.
303
00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:13,293
I need to look forward,
Mikey, not backwards.
304
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:16,504
All right, I think I understand.
305
00:13:16,505 --> 00:13:18,381
You know what?
I don't think you do, really.
306
00:13:18,382 --> 00:13:19,841
You know why I tend bar here?
307
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:22,135
Sure. You don't have to pay
for Sex on the Beach.
308
00:13:23,262 --> 00:13:25,680
Because I like to talk
to the veterans here
309
00:13:25,681 --> 00:13:28,891
who feel the same way I do.
Like Billy there.
310
00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:31,269
Yeah, look at him.
He ran a munitions depot.
311
00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:32,603
Huge warehouse.
312
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:35,107
Yes, moved ordnance
all over the Middle East. Yeah.
313
00:13:35,566 --> 00:13:36,900
Now he drives an Uber.
314
00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:38,818
Really?
315
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:42,406
Yeah, just until he finds a place
that can use his unique skills.
316
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,366
We all have hope.
317
00:13:45,117 --> 00:13:46,326
Yep.
318
00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:48,996
- You make a great bartender.
- Yeah.
319
00:13:49,288 --> 00:13:50,538
Listen, if you want
to give me another gift,
320
00:13:50,539 --> 00:13:52,708
I could use a... a new cashmere coat.
321
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,418
You know, I think I'm done giving gifts.
322
00:13:55,419 --> 00:13:57,171
What do I look like, Santa Claus?
323
00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,847
- Oh, Kris, what are you doing here?
- Hmm.
324
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:09,599
Nutcracker started, what,
a half hour ago.
325
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,311
You're gonna miss the
"Dance of the Fairy Nuts," or whatever.
326
00:14:13,145 --> 00:14:14,979
I'm gonna be
completely honest with you.
327
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,648
The Nutcracker can kiss my ass.
328
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,485
This kid!
329
00:14:22,404 --> 00:14:24,572
Isn't this great? The Christmas spirit
330
00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:26,699
burst in here,
grabbed them by their throats
331
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,160
and won't let them leave.
332
00:14:29,745 --> 00:14:31,954
Sounds like a scary Christmas movie.
333
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:34,790
"This year, Santa doesn't care
who's naughty or nice,
334
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,126
"everybody's gettin' it."
335
00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:40,546
Hey, take a look at this Christmas tree.
336
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,673
I made it look fabulous
from every angle.
337
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:45,593
It's the Beyoncé of Christmas trees.
338
00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:47,763
If you like it, then you
better put a star on it.
339
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:52,809
Starting to regret
putting a ring on it.
340
00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:57,688
Hey, Dad, look how good Kyle's
getting at stringing popcorn.
341
00:14:57,689 --> 00:15:00,776
Yeah, the key I've learned
is making sure you pop it first.
342
00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:05,029
And I made my special
family cocoa recipe.
343
00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:06,322
The secret ingredient is
344
00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:07,990
peppermint schnapps.
345
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:09,409
Mmm.
346
00:15:10,369 --> 00:15:12,913
Ah, Ryan made mine extra secret.
347
00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:18,000
Is this okay?
I know we were planning
348
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,627
on it just being the two of us.
349
00:15:19,628 --> 00:15:21,796
As hard as I try,
I just can't get sick of these kids.
350
00:15:21,797 --> 00:15:22,922
Yeah.
351
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:24,674
It's just too bad Eve's not here, huh?
352
00:15:24,675 --> 00:15:26,593
Well...
353
00:15:29,388 --> 00:15:31,139
Oh, my God...
354
00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:32,975
Oh, it's Chuck.
355
00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:38,355
Hi. How are you?
Hey, everybody.
356
00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:40,774
I got those personnel requests
you wanted.
357
00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:43,234
Thank you, man, good for you.
358
00:15:43,235 --> 00:15:46,362
Boy, you military guys sure
get the job done, don't you?
359
00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:47,530
Yes!
360
00:15:47,531 --> 00:15:49,365
Well, you asked a Marine
for a thorough job.
361
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:51,200
That's like asking the Pope
to go to church.
362
00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:52,744
You know he's gonna stay
for the whole Mass.
363
00:15:53,996 --> 00:15:55,663
I just wish I had more guys like you.
364
00:15:55,664 --> 00:15:57,624
Well, thanks, Baxter.
365
00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:00,878
Someone's getting a cheesecake.
Feel free to regift.
366
00:16:01,879 --> 00:16:03,004
Merry Christmas, everybody.
367
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,213
- Merry Christmas, Chuck.
- Merry Christmas.
368
00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:05,549
- Goodbye.
- Merry Christmas, Chuck.
369
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:11,346
Hey, honey?
I got a little errand to do.
370
00:16:11,555 --> 00:16:13,139
But honey,
the whole family's here.
371
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,892
I know.
I got to go to a bar.
372
00:16:23,942 --> 00:16:26,611
Hey. Look, I'm glad I found you
before you took off on your trip.
373
00:16:26,612 --> 00:16:27,779
Yeah?
374
00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:30,323
What's this?
375
00:16:30,324 --> 00:16:33,535
It's a chance for you to give me
a nice gift, you cheap bastard.
376
00:16:34,870 --> 00:16:37,038
Because of the awesome job
I'm doing at Outdoor Man,
377
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:39,081
we're expanding.
These are personnel reports
378
00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:41,667
from each department.
We're looking for new hires.
379
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:44,087
Well, thanks for explaining
the business to me.
380
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:48,342
Let me return the favor by reminding you
that you have a personnel department.
381
00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:52,471
You know exactly the kind
of people I want for these jobs.
382
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,598
So you came here to brag, huh?
383
00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:56,307
You're a piece of work, Mikey.
384
00:16:56,308 --> 00:17:00,687
Listen. I want people looking for a place
to apply their unique skills.
385
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,194
- You're talking about veterans?
- Mm-hmm.
386
00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:08,737
These people?
387
00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:12,240
And I'm looking for somebody who
knows their specific skill sets,
388
00:17:12,241 --> 00:17:15,077
so they can match them
to the correct position. Ed...
389
00:17:15,744 --> 00:17:17,079
we need you.
390
00:17:19,915 --> 00:17:20,998
I'd say you're just being nice,
391
00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:23,836
but we both know that's...
that's not your strong suit.
392
00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:26,379
Listen, this isn't just Denver.
393
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:27,755
I mean, this is all the stores.
394
00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:30,008
- We're gonna be doing a lot of new hires.
- Yeah.
395
00:17:30,384 --> 00:17:32,760
Obviously, we'd coordinate
with local VFWs and the VA.
396
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:36,390
Also, I could reach out to the discharge
offices of military bases. Yep.
397
00:17:36,974 --> 00:17:40,519
Sounds like a lot of work for a guy who
just started his career as a bartender.
398
00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:42,854
Department of Labor
has a Veterans' Employment
399
00:17:42,855 --> 00:17:44,898
- and Training site. I'll contact them.
- Mm-hmm.
400
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:47,776
I like the fact
you still use paper, Mikey.
401
00:17:47,985 --> 00:17:50,320
Well, you know me. Old-fashioned.
402
00:17:50,571 --> 00:17:51,779
Yeah, me, too, pal.
403
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,615
No, I'd like you to make me
an old-fashioned.
404
00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,618
Yeah. Please. I've got work to do.
405
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,286
Now, what the hell are you doing here?
406
00:17:58,287 --> 00:18:00,747
Wow. I missed your sunny disposition.
407
00:18:01,999 --> 00:18:04,376
Mikey, they always said
you give the best gifts.
408
00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:06,670
They're right.
409
00:18:10,883 --> 00:18:12,466
We should do this again next year.
410
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,636
It's way more fun
than going to the ballet.
411
00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:16,554
Yeah. I'm a little bummed.
412
00:18:16,555 --> 00:18:18,598
I mean, when will I ever get
another chance
413
00:18:18,599 --> 00:18:20,517
to see The Nutcracker at Christmas?
414
00:18:22,019 --> 00:18:24,270
You know, this might be
the schnapps talking,
415
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:26,272
- but I love you guys.
-Aw.
416
00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:28,650
Mmm, it's definitely the schnapps.
417
00:18:29,193 --> 00:18:31,361
But me, too. Cheers, everyone.
418
00:18:32,905 --> 00:18:35,031
- Geez, settle down, people.
- Hey, Dad.
419
00:18:35,032 --> 00:18:37,451
I don't know what's more lit,
the tree or you people.
420
00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:40,870
Where... Where'd you go?
421
00:18:40,871 --> 00:18:42,997
Uh, VFW Hall.
Worked something out with Ed.
422
00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:44,791
Oh. Well, good. I'm glad you're back.
423
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,418
You know, I was excited
about starting a new tradition
424
00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:49,837
with just the two of us,
but I'm glad the kids want
425
00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:51,881
to keep our old family traditions alive.
426
00:18:51,882 --> 00:18:53,925
Well, we have these traditions,
'cause a lot
427
00:18:53,926 --> 00:18:56,052
- of brave men and women fought for them.
- Yeah.
428
00:18:56,053 --> 00:18:58,638
I guess the only thing
we have left to do is to
429
00:18:58,639 --> 00:19:01,474
- put the star on the tree.
- Yeah. Eve used to do that,
430
00:19:01,475 --> 00:19:03,226
but I guess I'll do it,
431
00:19:03,227 --> 00:19:04,936
'cause none of you
should get on a stepladder,
432
00:19:04,937 --> 00:19:06,522
I'll tell you that right now.
433
00:19:07,481 --> 00:19:09,106
Wait, Mom, where is the star?
434
00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:11,400
Well, since your dad and I were
planning on starting a new tradition,
435
00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:13,319
- I... I ordered a new one...
-What?
436
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,655
...and it is being delivered right now.
437
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,450
Who delivers a star that fast?
438
00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:21,078
Ooh, maybe it's Santa.
439
00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:24,039
Oh, I haven't finished my list.
440
00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:27,708
Hey, hey...
441
00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:30,504
Hey, Dad! Merry Christmas!
442
00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:37,094
I thought it was gonna be Chuck.
443
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:39,720
I was supposed to bring a star.
444
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:41,889
Hey, you are the star. Come on in.
445
00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:43,599
- Come here! Hi.
- Hi.
446
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:44,767
Yeah.
447
00:19:44,768 --> 00:19:45,893
How did you do this?
448
00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:48,312
Well, when the kids decided
to stay and help decorate,
449
00:19:48,313 --> 00:19:51,190
I called Eve and-and convinced
her to hop on the bus.
450
00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:53,526
Yeah, which sounded horrible,
so I took an Uber.
451
00:19:53,527 --> 00:19:56,153
Mmm. Wait a minute. You took an Uber?
452
00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:59,741
Yeah. You owe me $111.
453
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:02,243
Well, it was so worth it
to have you here.
454
00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:04,705
Shouldn't we all get $111?
455
00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:08,541
You know what?
This family loves its traditions.
456
00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:10,251
Yeah. Old-fashioned.
457
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:12,295
Yeah, yeah, we are kind of old-fashioned.
458
00:20:12,296 --> 00:20:14,381
No. I'm gonna make an old-fashioned.
459
00:20:20,429 --> 00:20:23,347
Four calling birds, three French hens
460
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:24,891
Two turtle doves
461
00:20:24,892 --> 00:20:27,810
And a partridge in a pear tree
462
00:20:27,811 --> 00:20:29,812
You know why that's called
"The Twelve Days of Christmas"?
463
00:20:29,813 --> 00:20:32,064
'Cause that's how long it takes
to sing the damn song.
464
00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:33,649
All right? Guys, we got to think
of something else.
465
00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:35,318
Okay, don't anyone go anywhere.
466
00:20:35,319 --> 00:20:37,820
- We have written a new Christmas carol.
- Oh.
467
00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:38,905
It's gonna be a classic.
468
00:20:38,906 --> 00:20:40,365
Mm-hmm.
469
00:20:40,866 --> 00:20:43,367
Hark, now listen to us sing
470
00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:46,078
How Baxters do
their Christmas thing
471
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:48,915
Mom, she sips her spiked eggnog
472
00:20:48,916 --> 00:20:51,459
Dad recordshis Yuletide vlog
473
00:20:51,460 --> 00:20:54,086
A drive to the ER in the snow
474
00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:56,547
Because Kyle ate mistletoe
475
00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:57,799
It was one time.
476
00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:01,010
Fruitcake sitting under the tree
477
00:21:01,011 --> 00:21:03,430
That's for Ryan, it's gluten-free
478
00:21:03,597 --> 00:21:06,182
Dad thinks we've gone on too long
479
00:21:06,183 --> 00:21:09,811
{\an8}So we will end our Baxter song
480
00:21:12,064 --> 00:21:13,856
{\an8}I love it, I love it. Thank you, guys.
481
00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:16,485
{\an8}I hope that's not my only Christmas gift.
482
00:21:16,777 --> 00:21:19,904
{\an8}Oh, uh, uh,
well, we have another. Uh...
483
00:21:19,905 --> 00:21:21,030
{\an8}-Great.
- Hmm?
484
00:21:21,031 --> 00:21:23,449
{\an8}We wish youa Baxter Christmas
485
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:30,165
{\an8}We wish you a Baxter Christmas
486
00:21:30,541 --> 00:21:35,295
{\an8}
And a happy New Year
38217
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof