Original subtitles

What you're about to see may be dangerous, illegal, unethical, petty,

immoral, and most definitely stupid.

But it's also all true.

Sort of.

I'm gripping the knife.

I've never been more in the zone. My pupils are ginormous.

I lift my hand up.

And I go, one, I'm completely locked in.

Two, I see dollar signs in my eyes.

Three, I wasn't even thinking. Like, that really wasn't me. I was, I guess,

a murderer in that point or a butcher. I was just, the toe needs to come off. I

need to eat it. I need my $4 ,000.

My name is Philip. I was born and raised in Orlando, Florida, and I'm currently

a cast member at Walt Disney World.

This story begins to take its shape in the summer of 2019.

At that time in my life, me and my friend were a huge FaceTime fan.

We formed this, like, traveling circuit of face -to -face fans. I saw him 33

times in three years.

We worshiped him.

It didn't really matter where the show was.

We were going to figure out a way to be there.

Bass Nectar was going to be playing a three -day concert in Colorado.

I was like, I got to go.

But I was hurting for cash.

And so that's when I kind of switched into the mode of, I need money. I need

money now.

Whenever I need to get money quickly, I hop on America's Best website.

Craigslist has not failed me. So I made a post.

Just saying, I need money now.

Willing to do anything.

Within reason.

Typically, when you put, I need money offer out, you get the creep saying,

I'm like, no, I don't have that. I'm sorry.

No, I don't have that.

I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

Sorry, I don't want to do that.

I don't want to fuck anything.

I just want to work.

But then Steve messaged me.

It was pretty intriguing.

It's pretty intriguing.

So I responded back saying, I'm your guy, what's your fantasy?

Hello?

This is Steve.

He was very blunt and to the point. He said, I want you to cut off three of my

toes.

Cook them.

Eat them.

Now I want to watch.

In that moment, I was just like, damn, I really wish it was sexual.

It would be a blast.

I'd like to believe I'm a pretty smart person, but my brain just was not

computing the idea that someone wanted his toes cut off and eaten by a stranger

from the internet.

Like, there's just no way.

I will.

I've been watching you.

Don't be shy now.

Cut those fucking toes off, bitch, and come to me.

I was like, you know what? How bad could it be? How bad could it be?

All right, I'm in.

I cut them toes.

I eat them. I go see Bass Nectar.

I'm going to see Bass Nectar.

Everything's good.

Yeah, I said it.

I'm a people person at my core. You know, the customer is always right. It's

like, fuck it.

I got to go. You know what I mean? Like, I've already told the man I'm coming.

It's his biggest fantasy.

I can't let him down.

Mm, yeah.

Oh, yes.

I'm going to eat you alive.

Every person has a fantasy.

There's nothing wrong with fantasies.

I am Lucia Gabriela. I'm an intimacy expert in Sarasota, Florida.

Unfortunately, people think that you have to be crazy to engage in these

practices. Hearing people's fantasies without judgment, without shame, it

creates a sacred safe space for people to really express themselves.

You know, one of the things about people who are into, like, very hardcore

fetishness, like cannibalism, where the fantasy is about, I want to be eaten.

The whole desire of someone really eat them up. Someone wants me so

much that I am part of them.

Steve, at a deeper level, is longing so much to feel connection and love,

unconditional love.

Once we agreed that we were going to do it, he's like, oh, do you have a friend

that you could bring with you to make me feel more comfortable?

And I prefer if it was a female.

Can you bring a friend?

Female. And so now my mind is thinking, you know, who is one, free on like a

Thursday, and two is down to witness cannibalism.

I'll be honest, I tried really hard not to think of this story for a very long

time. I don't tell this story to anyone.

We had been friends since our sophomore year in high school. I had nothing to

do, absolutely nothing for two years of my life.

I was in a boot due to an Achilles rupture injury that I had while dancing

Orlando Magic. And then Phil reaches out to me. It was from left field.

I give her a call, and I'm like, Carolyn, you're not going to believe I'm

getting ready to tell you. He then lets me know that, look, someone has asked me

to do something very bizarre.

He wants me to cut his toe off.

You can see she's visibly, like, distraught. She's like...

What? I think that because of our relationship previously, we just always

established that nothing was off the table. I think Phil knew in asking me

specifically that I genuinely would not judge him. So I was really worried on

like a legal level, right, of the legalities of this. Because worst case

scenario in my mind is that this goes horribly wrong.

And then we get questioned by the cops or otherwise.

Like, what are you all even doing here, and how do you know each other?

We're here to cut Steve's toes off and eat them.

We're high school friends.

And she was like, are you actually going to do this? And I was like, I think I

have to. You know what I mean? Like, this is big as fantasy.

I kind of want to help him out. I was honestly, in a weird way, honored more

than anything.

But he had reached out to me for this odd job, so to speak.

On the drive over, it's like I'm on a drug.

Except it's not a drug.

It's an idea.

The drug is the idea of being in Colorado with my best friend, listening

Nectar. Come to me.

Come to me.

Bass, Bass, Bass, Bass.

So when we get there to Steve's house, we see that there's only one way in and

really one way out.

We're walking in with zero understanding. We haven't even seen a

Steve at that point.

You know, this is the kind of stuff your parents, they don't do.

Don't talk strangers on the internet.

Don't take your best friend to their house at night.

They would textbook stranger danger out, which is breaking all the rules.

I think I imagine Steve being like...

a recluse and, like, a hoarder, like, in his mother's basement or something,

like, playing video games with, like, a bag of Funyuns.

Maybe he just likes feet and he wants, like, a feet act done.

Maybe he's a maniac.

No. Hi.

He's a very friendly middle -aged guy.

I'm a very friendly middle -aged guy.

Come on in.

Welcome.

Make yourself at home. Steve seemed to have a pretty good life for himself. He

had a nice townhouse. He had nice furniture, big TV.

He was so normal.

He's so normal.

I am so normal. Thank you for mentioning that.

He offered me a beer, which I accepted. I believe it was a Stella Artois, which

is, eh, you know, but I accepted the offer.

Cheers.

It's a really weird setting to, like, do cannibalism.

And that's when I see his setup.

He had like a sterile pad on the ground, a cutting board, large knives, but they

were kitchen knives, which I thought was a bit weird. It wasn't like a medical

grade knife.

We could really do some damage here and we are in no way medical professionals.

I was starting to get like a bit nervous, but then I remembered why I was

Sometimes in life we do things that we don't really want to do for a greater

cause. Yeah.

And this is one of those moments.

So the contract for $2 ,000, the light bulb in my head goes off, and I remember

I'm a vegetarian.

I don't even eat chicken.

I'm about to eat a guy's toe.

So I bumped it up to $4 ,000.

Did he ever eat?

Eddie?

Yep. All right. He told me which toes he exactly wanted cut off.

I had Carolyn draw out where on the toes I needed to cut to get, like, a clean

chop.

And then the arched part on the side of the foot cut off and eaten.

We've established, hey, there's no artery here. Like, we're going to be

She also took some of that ointment and put it all over his foot.

We established I was going to go one, two, three, knife on to foot. The cut is

happening.

We also established a safe word, which was going to be Connecticut.

Connecticut. Because that's where Steve was born and raised.

And now it's showtime.

I'm ready to go.

I've never been more in the zone.

I can feel the excitement of knowing that I'm going to have the money to see

Bassneck here building in my body.

Carolyn's holding his hand.

He was sweating. He was a nervous wreck.

All right.

NBA playoffs are in the background.

This is what all comes down to, folks.

A moment of truth. He gives me a thumbs up.

Let's fucking do this.

Having the knife on the toe really, I think, put it into perspective, the

gravity of what we're going to do, and it was petrifying.

It was kind of this joined energy, like a trance almost. We weren't worried

about the score of the playoffs anymore.

It was really this moment of like, okay, we're going to do it.

I'm laser focused. I'm like talking to myself in my mind, kind of like, you

know.

The angel and the devil, you know, you shouldn't do this, but the devil's like,

this is your moment right now.

You want the money. You want the base.

Do this.

And so I was like, I'm riding with the devil tonight.

Let's fucking do this.

So I go, what?

Three, knife onto the foot. I lift my hand up.

You fucking do this.

Connecticut! Oh, fuck!

Connecticut! Sorry, sorry. What's up? I'm like, what's wrong? What's the

And that's when he reveals to me that he is a karate teacher.

Now, he's not sure how he's going to be able to teach karate.

without his toes and this is when i start to get the idea

that maybe he doesn't have much of this planned out hey i'm going to show

my feet to my students and they're going to be freaked out oh i reiterate to him

that this is your dream which is what you want you drag me out here on a

thursday night So we're going to do it. There's no backing out now.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. I'm good. We were trying to convince D more than anything

go through with it. He couldn't really take looking at the situation while it

was happening.

So we decided to do it on his stomach. Yeah. Because I think seeing it, you

don't want to see that.

Thank you. Yeah.

Okay. Okay.

Let's try again.

I am so ready to... Give me a fucking toe, bitch!

I want one. I can

feel it on my lips.

Connecticut! Connecticut! Connecticut!

Connecticut! Fuck you!

Sorry.

He's looking to another spiel about how he's going to see all his friends and

family, and he's not sure how to explain to them why he's missing half of his

foot. So I was like, well, Steve, that's something that you probably should have

thought about. And now I'm starting to get a little pissed off, because I'm

like, is this man going to pussy out over his fantasy?

Pussy.

Let me just put myself on his shoes.

Mmm. Mmm.

The turn on is when it stays in the fantasy world. Mmm, this is so yummy.

Once the idea of becoming real, they just get repulsed by it. Like, they just

get like, not about them.

So here we are, round three.

I think there's a little bit of anger in my hand with the knife now. I'm like,

this toe's got to come off.

I see dollar signs in my eyes, and the man who dragged me out here is getting

the way of me getting that money.

I wasn't even thinking.

Like, that really wasn't me. I was, I guess, like a murderer in that point, or

butcher. I was just, it told me to come off. I need to eat it. I need my $4

,000. We've come so close.

And I go, one, two, three.

Connecticut! Connecticut!

Connecticut! I can't!

I can't. I'm so sorry. He goes, no, I can't. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just

can't. I'm really sorry I wasted your guys' time.

I just don't think I'm ready yet.

I come to a stop, and like a rush comes over me, and

it dies.

We just finished our beers and watched the last little clip of the playoff.

And kind of seemed like a bad first date. I mean, it was just really awkward

and hard to pull away from.

And then he surprised me saying that I was going to be paid simply for showing

up.

He sends me the money.

Thank you.

And Carolyn and I go about our way.

Thank you.

We get into the car and we kind of just sit in silence for a while because we

can't really believe that, like, that happened.

I can't really believe that happened.

I looked at her and I was like, what do you want to do now? And she was like,

oh, do you want to go grab a drink? I'm like, that seems like the only decent

thing we can do right now.

So then we just start drinking straight tequila.

I think that we did everything we could to possibly just push it to the back of

our mind.

So the bar was closing. I was like, you know, I don't think I really want to go

home. I don't think I want to go home.

So we go back to her house.

Believe we had a bottle of wine.

We just kind of like cuddled.

This new form of bond now existed between me and Carolyn where I was like,

think I love this girl.

I've always found her to be attractive.

This really brought us together like two peas in a pod.

Phil is one of the best personalities that I've ever met.

I appreciate the fact that he has this boldness in him and the capability to be

bold. I got one of the most important people back in my life.

So everything's good. I got money.

I flew to Colorado.

When I finally landed in Denver, my friends picked me up. We get some beers.

go to a brewery. All I wanted to do was hear some music.

As we were headed to the venue, we see that the show has been canceled.

A lawsuit filed against bass actor claims that the electronic dance music

sexually abused two women. Ashton has called the claims untrue.

So my heart dropped. I was so furious.

I flew across the country. I almost ate a toe.

I had a very traumatic experience to get to this point. The times were good, but

I feel like I can't support something like that.

And that's when I really started to kind of change my perspective and what's

really important.

Inside of me, there's two of me. There's fuck it Phil and responsible Phil.

And for much of my early 20s, Fuck It Phil ran the show.

I'm happy that I've grown.

I don't get myself in these kind of situations still to this day.

I would not do this today. I'd like to think I wouldn't.

He could have died.

We didn't have proper medical stuff there. He could have bled out. Now I'm

charged with maybe like a manslaughter because I wanted to go to a concert.

Who was I?

and what was going on in my head.

I don't think now I would ever do it.

But there are moments where I will post on Craigslist looking to make a quick

buck or two and I'll get a message saying, hey, do you think you can help

with my biggest fantasy?

And I just know based on the wording that it's Steve.

And every now and then I'll respond back and be like, hey Steve, do you remember

me?

And he goes, oh yeah.

Hey, how's it going?

Are you willing to give it another try?

I'm like, sorry Steve, I can't go back. I can't do this again.

Random question.

What if one day I'm like trying to get a job and they're like, aren't you that

toe guy?

You're only thinking about the snap?

Ha ha ha.