Original subtitles

No, no, the 15th is definitely booked. I've got the 17th, the 18th, or the

No, look, that's all I got this month. Come on!

Do we have any douche? I can't do anything until I have douche.

Listen, her call time was 9. It is now 11 o 'clock. Where in the fuck is she?

She knows the way. She's been here before.

She's got five minutes to get her ass here or she's fucking out.

I hate this fucking job.

Put them in the bathroom where they belong, you nuts!

Fucking imbeciles!

Girlfriend, you look a mess. What have you been doing?

Has anybody seen my strap -on?

I did this gangbang scene last night and it went on till three in the morning.

Are you bragging or are you complaining?

Hell no. Two of the guys couldn't get it up.

Has anybody seen my strap -on?

Has anybody seen my strap -on?

No.

What is taking so long? Get her up in makeup. I need her down here in five

minutes. I'm not doing anything without my coffee.

Listen, I don't even know if she's showing up, let alone what time.

All right, we switch scene five to scene eight, drop in the DP, and if there's

any time, let's do some voiceovers. I don't know, figure something out. My

entire schedule is fucked, okay? This fucking bitch, I fucking hate this shit.

Just get me up by 7 .30 tonight. I got a card game.

No, I don't know where the fuck she is. I haven't seen her. I haven't talked to

her since she called me three hours ago. Will you get me a fucking replacement?

Excuse me.

Excuse me. What?

I have a delivery. Upstairs!

Who? What, are you fucking kidding me? She can't even walk and talk at the same

time, let alone do dialogue.

This is the fucking lead, Bart. I need somebody who can do words with more than

one syllable.

Yes, I have delivery for Mr. Lloyd.

Lloyd. Lloyd.

Hmm. There isn't anyone named Lloyd that's here. Maybe you want to try next

door. Okay. Can I ask you a question?

Sure. What do you guys do here?

We make adult videos, hon.

Okay.

That's the payoff. It's the button on the scene.

It'll never work here.

Hey, this is my best work.

They'll just fast forward the dialogue right to the sex scenes anyway.

Hey, I put my soul into this script.

Do you want to get paid?

Well, shoot.

We're not married to it. I can fix it. I'm a writer. I can make it work.

And that's why you're the greatest.

You never prostitute your work.

Let's do lunch.

Okay.

This is the fucking shoot from hell, man. These fucking porno stars want 16

different kinds of cigarettes, and I got a jack -off for a PA who doesn't know

shit about what kind of lube to buy.

Hello? Hello?

Is anybody here? Hello?

Bye.

No.

No way.

What the hell are you doing in here? You're late.

Let's go.

All right.

Sign here, here, here.

Initial there. Sign here.

Now, you each get paid $100.

$100 for what?

Oh, I hate it when they send me novices.

You get paid $100.

It's a taped audition.

I take pictures, put it in a file, and I give you a call. Got it?

I guess so.

Good. Then I guess we can get started.

Get undressed.

Excuse me?

Look. I'll help her. I'll help you. Look, you're going to have sex.

I'm going to videotape it. Bada bing, bada boom. You get laid, you get paid,

go home. Look, I'm just here to deliver.

And from the looks of it, I'm sure you will.

But I've never done it with two people before.

Look, it'll be okay.

I'm sure you'll talk about it.

It's natural.

huh okay

Good morning, sir.

Cheers.

Yeah.

Ooh.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

Thank you.

Great, great.

Hey, look.

Go see the casting director down the hall. Get paid.

If something comes up, I'll give you a call.

There's a shower down the hall. You can go get cleaned up.

Thank you.

Casting. Yeah?

Yeah? Hold on.

Hey, kid.

Look, they're shooting down the hall and they need somebody. Can you work it?

Well, I still have a lot of deliveries to make.

Yeah, she says she can deliver. I'll send her right over.

Go see the other casting director down the hall to the left.

Okay. Get a move on. Thanks.

Thank you.

I don't give a fuck what your problem is. You should have called me four hours

ago.

Listen, it's too fucking late for that, okay? I've already got somebody else.

The fuck are you doing standing here? Get your ass up in the makeup.

But my delivery's... I don't give a fuck how you deliver your dialogue. Just get

your ass in the makeup and we'll replace you.

Fucking porn stars.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, it's okay.

It was an accident.

Oh, I'm sure.

I'm sure.

Oh,

I still want to pick my performance.

Performance?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm leaving this epic.

Oh, I think I'm in this too. I just got the job.

You must be new. Oh, welcome aboard.

I am a god.

Wow. Is that me?

Well, you know, honey, with powder and paint, it makes a girl what she needs.

Is she ready yet?

Oh, go ahead and take her. Another masterpiece messed up.

Where have they been hiding you?

In the makeup room.

In the makeup room. Okay, have a seat. We've got to finish this scene.

Does she know her lines?

Line?

Dialogue. Here's a script.

All right, let's get ready.

Okay, you do your lines and you get on with it.

Yeah, but do I move to them or do they come to me?

All right, they're going to come to you and put you right on the bed. You ready?

Quiet, please. Let's go.

All right, rotate.

Rolling. And action.

Now, why should I help you? What's happening? Come on. Come on. We can make

more than worth your while. Come on. How?

Come on. We can think of many ways.

Come on.

Take care.

um um

It's that car.

Thank you.

Thank you.

uh uh

Now don't come so quick. Don't let him come now. Relax now.

Stay with it.

Don't look at me.

Action.

now.

Oh. Oh.

oh yeah um

Thank you.

Are you ready to bring it on home?

I said, don't look at me. Just get set to go.

Come on, next set up. Come on, come with me.

This is Mandy. Mandy, you ready?

Yeah, I'm ready.

Okay, look, I want you to go over your lines, and then I want you to work out

what you're going to do together in the scene. You know what I mean?

How do I wear that? Okay, that looks good.

Okay, now look, this is important.

You've got to use these things.

All right.

You know what this is?

This is my favorite.

Okay?

And that's enough.

Okay?

All right. Okay, let's go, guys. We've got to get ready. Five minutes, all

right?

What do you think we're going to do in this scene?

Girl -girl scene.

Eating pussy, sucking tit, that sort of thing. Look, I just came here to deliver

a package.

And what a nice package it is, too. You got a problem with doing a girl?

Well, I've never... Don't worry, honey.

Just follow my lead.

And besides, I love eating new pussy.

All right, stand by the wall. Let's do it.

Lock it up.

And takes away.

And five, six, seven, eight. Action.

How can I please you better than he can?

Let me show you.

I don't know if that's a good idea.

What if somebody catches us?

I don't care about them. They can join in or they can watch.

All right, go for it, girls. Don't be lazy. Don't look at me. Just go for it.

Get in there.

That's so good.

you like that don't you?

yeah

Oh, yeah.

You've got to get up, fix your makeup, change your costume. You've got another

scene to do, okay?

Yeah, come on.

What time is it?

Well, hon, where have you been?

It's nearly tomorrow.

God, my dispatcher's going to kill me.

Well, I have seen where these places go until like 5 o 'clock in the morning.

Come on, come on, let's go. I want to get home before the turn of the fucking

millennium. Come on, people.

Someone's on the rag again.

I heard that.

This is the fucking shoot from hell. Oh, it's a fucking shoot from hell.

Let's get you started again.

Okay, it's going to be simple.

What you do is you come in, okay?

You see her, you take her out of the bed.

You kiss her.

You got it, you got it, you got it. You fuck, you got it.

Let's go.

One question. What? Be good. Let's go, let's go. What's her motivation?

Your paycheck.

On your dick.

Got it. Thanks.

Okay.

I can't believe it's got to be a porno method actor.

Okay, princess, let's go.

Should I be pacing?

Yeah, pace.

Ready? Speed.

Speed in. Action.

Who the hell do you think you are?

I'm the man that loves you.

You don't love your husband no more. You love me.

That's why you're here.

The only reason I'm here is to get my things. I'm going back to my husband.

You don't really think you want your back now, do you? Yes, I do.

But you don't love him. You love me.

In your dreams.

That felt good.

Have I shown you my remote before?

No, you haven't, Doctor.

Oh.

Hit that later.

Bye.

Rock.

Huh Oh

Thank you.

So what do you think?

Are you okay?

I hope so.

My scene's with you.

Oh, my.

You know your lines?

All two of them?

I guess.

Do you want me to do anything special?

Whatever comes to mind, just don't hurt me this time, okay?

All right, look, I want this nice and romantic, erotic and hot.

All right, thanks.

We're ready.

All right, go to places and stand by. All right, let's go.

Quiet up. Lock it up.

And action.

You didn't have to wait up for me.

Yes, I did.

See, I've been waiting for you all evening.

That's good, that's good.

Thank you.

What?

Go easy on him, savage.

Yeah.

That's a good thing.

Yeah, I know what fucking time it is. I know it's late. I gotta get tomorrow's

shoot booked.

I don't care. Send me somebody who could read a fucking map and get here on

fucking time.

What are you nuts? This is for the fucking lead.

Jesus, I hate this fucking job.