Original subtitles

Came this far.

Hi, hello.

Good evening, my fellow graduates of the class of 1981.

What a splendid four, four years we had way back then.

I'm sure many of you have been through some changes in the last 20 years.

Some of you know I am now the mayor of Ojai.

I always remember my mother telling me, Margarita, no importa lo que hagas con

la vida. You don't have to win a foolish prize.

Pero agájalo como si fuera un big rat ring. What I want to emphasize here in

long -winded speech that prevents us from going to the open bar is

We were so young when we forged our high school friendships.

And perhaps many of them have faded over time.

But tonight, when you see those friends, You will realize it is almost

impossible to have loved someone then. See them now. And I have those faint

feelings coming up from inside. Hi!

Lisa!

Coffee?

Yes, coffee.

And a glass of water.

Got any sandwiches?

Sure do.

Yeah, I love sandwiches.

How about a cheese sandwich with avocado and lettuce and tomato and

some salt and pepper and a little mayo, please?

You know what? Make that breakfast.

I'll just have a little breakfast.

Scrambled egg whites, hash browns, crispy, some wheat toast.

We'll live without it.

Thank you.

Class of 81?

Yes, a proud graduate.

Are you here for the reading?

Yeah.

I don't remember where my yearbook is.

My mother found it for me in my old bedroom, in my closet, where I grew up.

Uh -huh.

I'm Brad Wellington.

And you are? I'm Jeannie.

My name's Jeannie. Jeannie.

Hey, my sister had a goldfish named Jeannie.

That's an awfully odd name for a goldfish.

A matter of opinion.

Oh, you want to look at it?

No, I'm not. But you came from a 23 -year -old.

I'm not nostalgic either, really.

Do you have your yearbook?

Can I have the turkey club, John?

Okay.

So I, uh... I don't know you. No smoking, please.

I... I don't smoke.

Okay.

Maybe I, uh... Maybe I... Maybe I know you from PE.

Maybe.

You know, graduating class wasn't that big.

Whose homeroom were you?

Come on, you remember.

Who your homeroom teacher was 20 years ago?

Well, how can you forget a drunk homeroom teacher?

I mean, she'd come in with toilet paper dragging off her foot.

Then there's the time she had her skirt stuck in the back of the pipes.

The day of the week printed on the back of her underwear.

Tuesday.

On your ass.

I remember that. You remember that?

You don't remember me?

And I don't remember you.

I think I should remember you.

How'd you like a real authentic lieutenant colonel's jacket?

Who?

Mine.

You're not really a colonel. You're way young.

You're not even a grandfather yet.

You're right.

Hey, I gotta go.

My pop's waiting for me.

You want it or not?

I recommend Dan Pigwell.

Blue water.

Good daiquiris.

You give me a minute to return these calls, okay?

Mindy?

It's not your fault, Byron. No, um... Okay.

Here.

Here. Here.

You know, why... Why,

um...

you let me follow through on this it's my job i'll get it over to them today

okay i think you should take the day off fine

i have a load of work to do i should finish the day i

think you should go home

We also have the, I got your oil that you asked for at the health center. Can

just come and step off here for one second?

Okay. But it's the Age Defying Relaxation Anti -Stress Aromatherapy

it in your purse next to your lipstick.

Hang on.

We're really late. No.

Look at this in the middle of a busy street.

Goddamn. Hello.

Hurry up.

Yeah, nice dog. Come on.

Ah,

photographer. No, photojournalist.

Capturing your every moment back here in Rustico High.

Looked like you did in high school.

Just sitting at the diner.

What, like this?

high school, Brad.

What?

He transformed.

Meaning?

There's the shoulder hunch, for one thing.

Occupational hazard.

Oh, yeah?

What do you do?

They call me the terror of poker.

Dare I ask why?

I'm a bus driver.

I live in San Francisco, but I don't take public transportation.

Yeah, I know those types.

Hey, listen, I'm driving around a bit.

Take it in the scenery if you want to tag along.

I'll show up for your pictorial.

Sure. Why not?

Okay.

How do you keep these plants alive in this heat?

Well, your mother gave them the will to live.

I just do the seasonal maintenance.

Hi, son.

Well,

I am damned.

I knew you were coming, but I forgot it was today.

I can never remember where I put the damn calendar.

Well, couldn't miss my 20 -year reunion.

Why, did 20 years slip by without my noticing?

Yes, sir.

Well, are you high -ranking military men allowed to have a cold beer on your day

off?

Considering I'm permanently off?

Sure.

What did you say, Pat?

I'm retired.

Let's go have that beer.

Pat.

Christ, Pat.

Pop, hear me out. I gotta hear you out.

But this better be good.

You don't just abandon the United States. I didn't abandon anything.

I retired.

Just like anybody else would in any other profession. Pat, you're 37 years

You've got my whole life ahead of me. Well, what the hell are you going to do?

Are you going to come back here and help me in the garden?

Well, maybe I will.

What's the real reason you left the Army?

Oh, come on, Pop.

Okay? Because you have what it takes to be a commanding officer.

And I made the choice to leave.

I know how much it means to you that I had a career in the army.

And I know Mom was proud, too.

I woke up every day and I worked for America.

Your mother loved you more than anything else in this world.

I know that.

Hey, Pop.

Why don't you put on a tie?

Let me take you to dinner.

They still got a restaurant in this town that uses white linen, right?

Bacali.

Hey, Mr. Roberts, how you doing?

I love the heat, sir. I'm a pizza maker.

Moron!

No, of course not.

Not you, sir.

Uh, yes, I'll have your special pie waiting for you in about 20 minutes. You

know how I gotta make the, uh, I gotta make the pies for the retired men's

and you know how none of those guys like to miss a meal?

Yeah, you come see me in 20 minutes, and I'll have your special pie waiting for

you.

Yeah, you too, Mr. Roberts.

Bobby!

Bobby, get your ass off that motorcycle!

Hey, Yvette.

Tell your sister I'd like to see her again sometime.

Hey, nice banner!

Bobby, get your ass inside.

You got a mess to clean up and some pies to deliver.

I don't pay you minimum wage to flirt with cheerleaders.

I know, I know, Louisa, I know.

Okay, do you want your oil now?

Kyle after stand?

Kyle after stand. Okay.

Yeah, send the menus ready.

Okay.

What's a vegan?

Well, you gotta get good tire, because your car won't go without it, and your

future's riding on it. There ain't no doubt about it. What's a... Mayor!

Mayor, honey, the mayor's here.

Mayor!

Thanks for coming. Stan the man.

Congratulations on your opening.

And as soon as all of my tires go bald, I will be in for a new set. Come down

any time for a free inspection before they go bald, Mayor, or a rotation.

Oh, well, I will keep that in mind, Stan. Thanks for coming.

We need to resolve the speed bump issue. Montgomery, yes, I know. And the set by

Sir Zody Park.

Oh, very flat, very useless. Okay, sweetheart, schedule a speed bump

with Mr. Andretti, yes?

I do schedule a meeting for Mr.

Andretti. Good, yes. Thank you, darling.

You are just the mayor that I needed to see today.

Listen, what brings you to Ojai? Tires?

No, base.

Okay. Margaret, this is Free Sky.

She's the yoga instructor from the One Mind Institute in Ventura. Yes, I took

one of your classes.

She wants to open up an institute right here in Ojai. Excellent. Luisa, Luisa,

can you put Miss Frisky on the list? Yes. That's Free Sky. Free Sky, of

Oh, thank you, Margaret.

Madra, when you're done, City Council and Beard would like a word with you.

Okay, Lisa. Step away from the door now.

Get out of town.

Look at you, man. Exactly the same.

Spitting image, man. Cool hat, cool clothes.

Such a cool guy.

You're in charge of the union.

Yeah.

Molly and I, you know, we got two kids.

Sarah, you know, she's like a little doll and fairy.

The wife likes Manilow.

He's fine. Never stops talking.

It's all excellent, man.

Great house, great job.

Eat well.

It's excellent.

So what's your deal?

I'm good. Yeah?

Yeah. Oh, let me guess.

CEO of an internet company, huh?

Opens for the kids.

Huge stock options.

Oh, God.

Listen, uh... Still with all the ladies?

Yeah. God. Listen, uh... Man, there was no stopping Brad Willings, man.

Put it on.

All right.

See you, dude. Yeah, thanks.

Still single.

Hey, look, I gotta get going. The kids are out roasting in the car. Tomorrow

night? We'll catch up on all times. All right, I'll see you.

I got a photo for you.

What?

Put that on.

Sing it, Oprah.

I got no photo yet.

Thank you.

Mindy? Mindy, is that you?

Mindy! Oh, my God, you look great.

Oh, I'm having a bad day.

Oh, you're sweaty.

Yeah, it's 110 degrees out here.

Oh, yeah.

God.

God. It's amazing.

I can't believe it.

I recognize you.

After what? 20 years. 20?

I know, well, you know, I'm the only black man out here at 110 degree weather

walking into town. Yeah, I guess I'll wait in the back there.

Yeah.

Is she okay?

Gorgeous. Hey, Jeannie, where do you take most of your photos?

I'm freelance. I travel all over the world.

Why are you giving me the creep?

How do you get anywhere?

Well, I haven't left San Francisco in three years.

It's funny because I live in San Francisco and I'm never there.

Where are you then?

All over.

Provan, Copenhagen.

How long did it take you to get there?

To Denmark, uh, 14 hours.

You never catch me in a plane that long. No fucking way.

What is that, like three plane meals?

How'd you get here then?

Good old trusty train.

Aren't you feeling a little drunk? It's only the afternoon.

I feel good.

It takes a lot of alcohol to affect you.

In high school, I was the designated drunk driver.

What?

looked pretty good for 37.

At least I don't have a secretary butt.

Your secretary?

A legal assistant.

Oh. Geez.

I mean, I look good compared to my husband's friends and their wives.

The wives of plastic surgeons. They're like the Stepford wives.

Not me. Not a stitch.

As I recall, you wanted to become a doctor.

Yeah, well, that wasn't realistic. I mean...

I have this husband who has the same goals. He had the same goals.

But, you know, someone had to pay the mortgage, so it was me.

Are you going to tell me why you're crying?

PMS.

God, I can't believe that this is the first impression you have of me after 20

years.

I know. It's been a long time.

I mean, I used to hear from Patrick. He used to send me postcards from all these

exotic places like Haiti and Somalia.

Yeah. He stopped writing like three years ago.

Anyway, I check in on his dad every now and again.

You know, his mom died.

Cancer of the uterus. Oh, wow. That's tough.

Yeah. Where's the ranger anyway?

Like a forest patroller, I think.

What's that got to do with football?

Maybe that's why they're the worst team in the division.

Oh, shit.

There's something so beautiful about an empty stadium.

Good old Jimmy B.

Star quarterback.

Snap his neck.

That's what I think about when I look at this stadium.

Oh, do you play sports?

No. You?

I did sports for the sweaty male bonding in the locker room.

Gross.

Are you going to smoke that?

Oh, you want one?

No. Huh?

No!

There's no photo for Jeannie Moran.

I was sick then.

Let's see your photo.

He looked the same.

If I could be anywhere, it would be on the moon, by the sea, Fujifilm.

Brad Wilkins, Ojai prophet.

You can always judge the popular people by the amount of signatures in their e

-books.

Wow, you're a popular guy.

This head out.

And then there's Margaret.

Ah, yes. Miss Margaret. Yeah. Wow. She puts the whole reunion together.

She can bear to see the 20 year go by like the 10 year.

With no fuss.

So, here we are.

Just happened to fall on a really bad day.

Well... The real scoop on Margaret, she's the town mayor.

Margaret? Yep.

Town mayor.

Is the mayor of Ojai? Yep, yep. And she didn't have to fuck anybody to get

there. Well, nobody she didn't want to, that is. I mean, she legitimately

climbed the political ladder. That's what's into a councilman.

Blah, blah, blah. Are you involved with anyone?

Yeah, I have a girlfriend.

Do you love her?

I think that's a fairly... Oh, come on, Ty, you know, we're old high school

friends. Come on, Ty.

Tell me, do you love her?

I like her.

Oh, oh, I see.

But you don't love her, right?

It hasn't been an issue.

Right, right, right. So perhaps she thinks you love her. You ever think

And she has no idea you don't love her. And just when she thinks you're going to

tell her you love her, right? That's when you're going to dump her, right?

I don't know. I don't think we need to be talking about this, Mindy. I mean,

guys are all the same.

You'll just hold on to her until she's too old to attract anybody that could

possibly be any good for her, and then you'll just send her off into the world,

right? Right? You'll just... And then she'll be able to find a man who'll be

willing to face the awful odds that one out of every four babies born to older

women are retarded.

There are a lot of 37 -year -old women who have babies that aren't retarded.

Oh, no.

I suppose you think I should just run to L .A. and get a boob job and let it all

hang out, cut my hair and stuff.

Mindy, you don't need a boob job.

What do you advise me to do, Ty?

Why am I asking you anyway?

You men are all the same.

Did you write for the high school newspaper?

No, there was no high school newspaper.

I know.

Were you on the debate team?

I didn't like high school.

I didn't go to the school of dances.

That's why we never met.

I don't think so, Brad.

Do you remember the back roads to this town?

Um, yeah.

How about the rock?

You ever been to Makeout Rock?

I lead a very exciting and full life, Fred. So what you're saying is you never

been to the rock?

It's a rock.

Maybe I went to it. How would I know?

If you were going to remember any location from your North Off days, it

The Rock.

I remember this great clearing in the woods, and I would go there, and I'd say

to you, and I think that if we cross a bridge, and then

there's a road, you know, we go

towards my old house, and we park there. We can walk.

I think that I'll remember it that way.

Hi.

George!

And who is this?

Patrick. This is him. Back for the 23rd.

Happy to remember you, Laura.

No, I'm sure you don't.

She taught you nursery school.

George, I never thought I'd see you in here. Get a tie.

A special dinner?

Yes, ma 'am.

Patrick, enjoy your meal.

Thank you.

Good evening, gentlemen.

My name is Roger.

I'll be serving you tonight.

Could I interest you in a cocktail?

I'll, uh, I just have something cold in the can.

I'm sorry, sir. We don't serve anything in a can here, but we do have a lovely

array of drafts. Oh, well, fine. Just bring me some of those.

Fantastic. And would you care for something cold?

A vodka martini? Two olives, please.

Thank you, man. After my own heart.

Far cry from the pork pit.

What are your plans?

I was thinking the swordfish.

After years of knowing, I'm not sure.

I could be a great camp counselor, travel agent.

Well, if you're thinking of sticking around for a while, there's an open

policy at your home. I want you to know that.

Thanks, Bob.

I may take you up on that for a little bit. A cold one for Dad.

And a cocktail for the... What's the occasion, if you don't mind my asking?

A 20 -year high school reunion.

20 years? Good.

Couldn't be more than 10, right?

First time back in a while?

You could say that.

Um, sticking around, or is this just a quickie trip?

I'm not sure yet. My son just retired from the military.

He's a lieutenant colonel. Oh, a military man.

I'm ready to order.

Yes, sir.

I'll have the sirloin steak, well done.

Never mind the fancy sides.

Just bring me a baked potato.

Sirloin well, no leeks and portobello, just a good old baker for Dad, and you?

Oh, I'd like the swordfish, please.

A sword for the retired military man.

I'll leave you two alone.

I know you have questions... Questions about me retiring.

I made a career in the military and I never wanted to leave early.

Those were the best years of my life.

It's time for a fresh start.

It's been 20 years.

It felt right.

Had hot buns from the oven.

J .C.!

J .C., you work here?

He runs it. He runs it?

Guy!

Guy, how's my favorite king of cool?

Oh, man. Oh, I got a little sausage in your shirt there.

Hi.

Yeah, what's up with the cold, JC, huh?

Longest cold in history, huh? Five -year sniffle?

This is amazing, man. You and my pizza place.

How many years has it been? 20 years, man.

Wow. And you came here for a slice of my pizza? Are you ready for the best slice

of pizza you ever had in your life, huh?

Huh? Huh? Listen, you order up this menu, whatever you want, and I'll get it

you. I'll make it for you like...

Beer? Beer.

Come here often?

When Brian was alive.

You got the quote?

Well, you know, my husband, never home, medical school. You know, I get lonely.

Well, pizza, JC, that doesn't make any sense.

He did something else, wasn't he?

Drummer! That's right, he was a drummer. What was the name of the band he was

in? The Blue Hunger.

When Brian died, his family didn't give him much of an option. You know, guilt

factor.

You know, like the salami slices.

Totally tofu lasagna.

Yeah, well, you know, D .C. wanted to evolve with the times. Safe to say, not

very big hit.

Now, Brian never married, huh?

Nope.

Yeah, I wanted to come to the funeral, but I just couldn't bring myself to come

here. You okay, D .C.?

Two piping hot, similar salami slices.

Thank you.

Cece?

What is that?

Kale. And that is?

Kale, you jackass.

I did away with Brian's recipe. Two traditional basil and sauce.

That's wheat crust, and I used toy cheese.

All right. How the hell are you, Mindy?

I've been better.

Oh, Mindy.

Hey, I got a little sauce on your shirt. Oh, Ty.

Listen, I want you guys to come here tonight with any one of Brian's friends

that you see around town for the reunion.

Brian would have liked that. It would be like you guys were here with Brian, you

know?

Like old times. Yeah.

Everything's on the house, huh?

Yeah.

That's sweet, JC. I'll be there.

That's going to be an ugly shot, not to mention sad.

Oh, life's sad.

There's beauty in sadness.

I bet you think that's so artistic.

What's that supposed to mean?

I've done some of my best work with a cloud over my head?

Well, there's a big difference between a bad day in happy land and sad.

I've been deeply sad.

I've been depressed.

You think you've been depressed.

You know, you don't even know me.

How can you say I haven't been depressed?

So what was your deal in high school?

Hardly think high school mattered. Then why are you here?

It's just curiosity.

You don't have many friends, do you? I have plenty of friends now.

I think that leads to the orange grove.

Don't tell me that you made out in the grove. Sure.

What? You mean... Me and my friends, we'd come down

here with big bottles of cheap wine and get sloppy drunk.

Swim around on the ground.

Wasted. Just laying on the ground, flapping her arms like wings.

This is it.

This is where I would come after school and sit just before dark. And I would

leave and then you and your friends would pass through.

And we never met until today.

I think that we should go.

Wait, wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Will you go over there and just sit down?

Over here? Yeah.

Yeah. Mm.

Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Every other goddamn person is a vegetarian these days. Yummy tofu

stuffed with tomato and baby eggplant.

A vegan forego. Okay.

Band. Not that horrible trio that you booked for the literary luncheon. I like

the accordion player.

Oh, dare I ask who's playing at this event?

Pizazz. You'll love them.

Where do you come up with these bands? Okay, it doesn't matter.

Because by 10 p .m., the entire class of 1981 is going to be half in the bag and

dancing to bad cover tunes.

You nervous?

For what?

Oh, come on.

You haven't seen some of these people in 20 years.

You're the town mayor now.

The last time they heard, little Margaret was getting caught by the local

in the backseat of some prep school boy's car with her undies around her

But it is all about campaign financing these days.

He's serious. Oh, we'll talk.

Hey. Stop.

Uh -oh.

Hey.

Hey, don't forget about my car.

Oh, shit. Let me call that in.

Oh, papacito chulo. Look what you blossomed into.

It's the man.

Oh, baby.

Oh, wait. Let me look at you.

You are one sexy old high girl. I need company. No, I know. I'm coming.

What's wrong with her? I know, Louisa. Are you going to college? Yeah, I'll be

there. Okay.

I will see you later. Okay, we have got to get you a Greek cake.

See you later. See you. I'll see you later.

Afternoon, Jim.

Mike.

I need your signature for the meeting

on Thursday.

It's Friday, Louisa. Go home. I'll see you Monday.

I'm serious, baby. Take a load off.

Bye. Have a good weekend.

Bag, bag, bag, bag, bag.

Thank you.

Okay. You got a volume?

Okay. Go.

You know what the worst part of living alone has been?

The tube.

I never watch that crap in my life, and now I find myself planning my day around

the antique annex.

It's your mother's fault. She got me hooked.

Pop, you ever miss the Army?

Yeah, yeah, I do.

Hell, that was my life for 40 years.

Luckily, I had a family life, too.

I'd like to have a family.

Pat, what are you talking about?

You can't do that.

Are our palates happy?

Everything's fantastic, thank you.

Why not?

What do you know about raising kids?

As much as you and mom knew when you raised me, I learned from you guys. But

are you... This is absurd. Who would be the child's mother?

Pop, I have read a bunch of literature on this. Excuse me, I need some air.

Hello? Hey.

Yeah, you guys decide whether you come in and up.

Ten minutes, right?

Ten minutes?

Okay.

I'm in room 306.

All right?

All right.

You smoke?

Under duress, yes, I smoke.

Can I have one?

I smoke under duress, too.

How old are these?

I got them when the Vietnamese withdrew from Cambodia.

1989?

Pop.

Patrick, I prayed that the army would straighten you out.

Sharing hardships with the other men defending your country.

Pop. I went 32 days without a bath in Korea.

Pop, I told.

You told?

I told.

I couldn't keep it inside any longer.

I couldn't pretend. I couldn't lie about who I am, what I am. You fool.

No, I am not a fool.

It's the United States Army that's a fool.

One night, I told a superior.

That was it.

Oh, boy.

Drive me home.

That was unexpected.

Give me a break.

What? You would have been disappointed that didn't happen.

Hardly think so.

You know, this was fun.

And I think that when we go back to San Francisco that we could have a cup of

coffee or a drink or something.

Yeah.

Brad?

No, I'm off.

Bus driver and you're a glamorous photojournalist. That's not what I mean.

No.

I'm just ordinary and you found a photo experience, a little photo experience to

write about in your travel journal. Like a reunion memory.

Kind of an asshole.

Thanks. You should know how to get a second date.

Are you trying to quit or something?

As a matter of fact, I am.

You're so different.

I thought you didn't know who I was.

Boy, man, do I ever. You were the guy that I dreamed of from ninth grade to

senior year.

It was a waste.

So you were obsessed with me. No, I was young, I guess, and lonely.

And when I saw you at the diner, I didn't even recognize you because you

you look so different.

I guess when I did recognize you, I thought it would be a little flat.

So you had a loose end to tie with old Brad.

All done now?

Off to the reunion? Mission accomplished?

No, I'm not going to the reunion.

I came here for the wrong reasons.

Well, tell me.

I don't have any friends to see at the reunion.

Just a bunch of people that are going to say genie. I mean, but genie, is that

you? I mean, Jesus Christ, you've blossomed so much. And, you know, you

look so, you know.

So you were the ugly duckling that became a swan? What's so traumatic about

that? You've actually really become an asshole.

So you weren't the prom queen or the class clown, but you succeeded, right?

You're happy, right? You're over it, right?

You're not over it. I am.

I don't care.

No, you're not. You slept with me for who I was.

Someone who wasn't in your league. That's not a sign of over it.

It was my personal reunion, okay?

You came back here to be validated by a bunch of presumably overweight, catty,

under -sex graduates who you shouldn't even think about twice.

Life is strange like that.

Hey, you hungry?

I want to go get a slice at Bacalli's.

Oh, I like Bacalli's.

Yeah, Brian is one of my best friends.

You know my parents used to take me there every Friday night?

It was quality time with their introverted daughter.

So your parents knew you were a loser.

I wasn't a loser, fucker.

It's always so cold in here. Oh, it's so cold.

Your turn, Rhett.

Afternoon, Mayor.

Maybe.

How's the practice, Mark?

It's excellent.

There's a high level of vanity this year, so... This is Trina. Don't

introduce us. I already know.

Trina.

We have the same nail polish.

Woo!

Everything all set?

In stone.

Good. Good work.

Good work.

Oh! One of our finest moments.

Oh, yum.

Okay, we gotta go.

Don't forget the cherries!

Honey, you're going to have to stop growing everything you need or move out.

There are two grocery stores in town. We've got to shop everywhere.

How long did it take me to grow everything I need?

Give me, okay?

You are going to find somebody to appreciate you soon enough. All right?

Okay.

Just stop.

Get yourself to Bacali. Stop crying. Get yourself a little attention to your

self -worth.

Attention all...

I feel a bit awkward out here.

I practiced this thing for years.

I hear all the songs about it.

I got Charlotte pregnant, left, and denied it was my child. Isn't that a

title for a song?

None of my songs have titles.

I'm going to have a seat. You're making me nervous.

Took me a long time to get to this place.

And I wanted to tell you... 20 years for you.

A lifetime for your son. I understand that.

I can't speak for him, Ty.

And I don't know what he's going to say or what he's going to do when he gets in

here.

But I can tell you that he is a sweet kid.

Look, all I want to do is hang out with him.

I just want to meet the kid. He could come back with me to L .A. I should know

that he's very close to his stepdad.

He was worried that coming here to see you would jeopardize that.

So you have my husband to thank for telling him it was okay.

It's okay.

I'm ashamed already, okay? I'm ashamed.

Fuck, it's 20 years later and I'm back in this town.

It's like we're back in high school again.

Do you want me to explain to you what happened? Do you want me to tell you?

to me.

Tell it to your son.

I have to go.

Charlotte. I have to go.

Charlotte.

You want to use the garden, Ike?

Sure.

But I know I gotta be back by 12 and not smoking.

Patrick.

I always bragged about you to my peers.

Hell, I bragged about you to anybody who'd listen to a broken down old non

My son in Operation Desert Shield.

My son in Operation Desert Storm.

My service in Korea was one of the three proudest accomplishments of my life.

What were the other two?

The day I married your mother.

And the day you were born.

I lost my earring.

I'm very with you,

folks.

Can I get you anything else, Mr. Lewis?

This isn't ricotta.

It's tofu, but I swear it tastes just like the real deal.

You got garlic bread, right? I forgot the garlic bread. Two seconds, Mr.

One more minute, folks.

That's Brian's younger brother.

I wonder what he's working here for.

You know, I think that Brian used to deliver pizza to my house.

He's cute.

He's all right.

Brad? Brad, holy fucking shit, it's Brad.

Hey, man.

I got a little bit of sauce on your shirt there. Hey, Mr. Lewis, this is

He was Brian's friend in high school.

Hey, JC, this is Jamie.

Lovely wife, Brad. Pleased to meet you, Jeannie.

She's not my wife. We actually just met. She's a graduate of Nordhoff.

Your brother used to deliver pizza to my house.

You're making pizza now?

It's the last time I saw you were banging on the drums.

Someone's got to make the beef stuff.

Yeah, Brian. Where's Brian?

What? What, he rope you into this?

Don't tell me he's bagging on the reunion.

What? He's coming. He's coming, right?

This isn't your idea of a joke.

So you don't know?

Don't know what?

Oh, wow. I thought everybody had found out one way or another.

Found out what? What are you talking about?

Brian was killed.

What?

Hit and run.

You're fucking with me, right?

I took over the joint five years ago.

My folks tried to get a hold of you.

Margaret, she tried.

There was no trace of you.

Jeannie, can I get you anything?

Yeah, I could use a big glass of red wine and a slice.

Here, please.

Fuck. Tell me about it.

I lose my brother and get his career all in the same week.

Oh, Brad Willington.

Brad Willington.

Whoa, whoa.

Brad Willington.

You know, I've grown up. Yes, and I sure wish I would stop growing.

Hey, I just heard about Brian, and I'm really sorry.

You're acting like I'm the widow.

You were on the cheerleading squad. Top pyramid, right?

Oh, good.

Then why do I know your face?

Oh, that's not important. I know your nails.

Mindy Watt. Mindy.

Jeannie Moran. Now, were you the Mindy that changed your hair color?

That was me. I was a red -headed brunette and a blonde all my senior

God, good memory.

God, I've been a blonde way too long.

How about Jeff Black?

Yeah, you're stealing girl fantasy.

Wow. Brad, you don't want to talk about Brian's death anymore.

I mean, it's been a long time.

Especially this weekend.

Come on.

It's our high school reunion.

Baby, want a bite?

Definitely not.

Brad? Yeah, whatever.

How about garden pepperoni?

Sure.

He should have politely declined.

He didn't exactly inherit Brian back for pizza.

So, um, what have you been up to?

Mind your own business.

You sound like a playboy centerfold.

No, really. I mean, I have a routine.

I hang out with my friends.

I hang out with Margaret a lot.

You know, she's the town mayor.

That's why I really put so little on politics for me. No, I mean, she's good

it. She's good at it. I mean, she loves Ojai, and Ojai loves her.

I knew that batch was a little tough.

Let me make you guys a fresh pie, all right?

It's all right, JC. I'm not even hungry.

So, where have you been?

You know, it was a bitch for Margaret to find you.

Where have you been?

I've been driving a public bus in San Francisco.

You what?

I'm a civil servant, and I drive a public bus.

Would you be shocked if I told you that I'm really hate?

Really? Why's that?

Well, because my life hasn't exactly turned out like I thought it would

I need some wine, JC.

Hey. How you doing? How's it going?

I guess

I

just wanted to hear that out loud, you know.

Your guitar?

Yeah.

Mine? Go ahead.

Never really practiced.

How was L .A.? Meet, uh, Lenny Grouse or anybody?

Nah. I play with some pretty cool people, you know, every now and then.

I have a good time.

Um, it's been pretty good.

Do you play that thing much?

Yeah, sometimes.

Not that much, though, you know.

It shows.

Sure are black.

What'd you expect?

It's me.

You got your nose.

Definitely got Mom's eyes on me.

Definitely.

You know, you're tall.

Like my father.

Grandpa. Sounds funny. Yeah.

So you had a thing for white women, huh?

Well, you know, besides your mother, you

know, there's not a lot of black folks in this town.

Tell me about it.

Yeah. You got a girlfriend?

Yeah. Yeah, I do. She's real cool.

Real cool.

She's what?

Why do you ask?

I mean, you think I'm going to get her pregnant or something?

Skip out on it?

What?

You know, it's kind of strange. I know you know this, but I

mean, it's 20 years.

20 years and...

Here you are.

I'm not here for the whole bonding experience, you know.

It's... We may find out we don't even like each other. It's not important.

You know, what's important to me is that I found out... I found out who I am,

where I come from, you know.

That's...

That's the most important part.

You're pretty smart, huh?

I'd like to think so, yeah.

Well, uh, I gotta head out. I told some friends I was gonna meet up with them,

you know, later, do some stuff.

I guess I'm out.

It's nice meeting you. Nice meeting you, too.

I'll be in touch. Okay, Michael.

Your mother has my number. Right, right.

Take it easy. Yeah.

The happiest day of my life.

Well, not the happiest, but one of extreme clarity.

was when I discovered red wine. I mean, red wine was my lover so many times.

I mean, I mean, don't get me wrong.

I'm not a wino or anything.

I mean, but red wine is good when you're down.

But it's also good among best friends.

Down goes Frasier!

And Doc just ripped J .C. to pieces. I mean, he hasn't been the same since.

Hey, he's, um... He's jumpy.

J .C.

J .C. is still in the computer.

Really?

Ding, ding, ding, ding.

Gee, Brad, you're having that posture. I stamped out a few brain cells.

Oh, thanks, Mindy.

I mean...

God, I am so happy to see all you guys here.

Hey, JC.

Hey, Pat. Hey, man. How are you?

Good.

Hey, this is my first chance to offer condolences.

I regretted missing the funeral every day since today.

What is it with you people? I don't want to talk about Brian's death all night

long.

Mayor!

The golden boy finally graces us with his presence. Oh, where have you been?

-huh. Say my personal wish again.

Oh, and I know you.

Jeannie Moran.

Who the hell do you know in this group?

I'm with Brad.

Well, I had no idea you and Brad were friends.

Yeah, we met today at Bonnie Lou's.

Don't tell me you're stuck with Jeannie, too.

You're funny.

I should have.

Considering I graduated high school because of her.

Chemistry was not my favorite subject.

I did let you cheat, didn't I?

Yeah, you saved my ass on that final exam.

Well, I liked helping you. You had all the guys.

Every single one of them. Hey!

Respect the town's mayor!

Wow, it's so cool when you do photography.

Get up.

Okay, okay, okay.

Do you remember that? Do you feel boxed in, confused, paranoid? It's like the

world's coming at you.

I spent a great deal of time eating ramen noodles and rice and beans to get

But you were free.

I mean, a self -employed artist.

And you like the military.

Well, yeah, but I mean, I didn't have a minute to call my own. But you had a

steady paycheck.

No phone. How can I not have a phone? How do you call people?

Well, anybody I wanted to see, I just dropped in on.

Your friends must love that.

Oh, yeah.

I know it's stupid, but I remember I'm the singer of the year. Okay, there you

go, Brad. Come on, show us your sign, Ty, everybody. Everybody, show us your

sign.

What are you trying to do, Margaret?

We're not in high school anymore.

I'm trying to be nostalgic, Brad.

Yeah.

Well, if you drink too much and barf on the floor, Ty will run off with his

guitar and not join the group.

Mindy will cling to her future husband.

You'll get on your back somewhere in some field and Brian will... Hey.

Brian's fucking dead and... He won't be able to participate in

this little exercise.

Then we will have captured 1981.

Jeannie, you're like the mystery graduate. What would you be doing?

What are you so interested in now, Brad?

You know, what brought you here?

Curiosity.

Okay, so if you're so curious about how we evolved over the last 20 years,

I'll be so bold as to start.

Well, I'm not clinging to that damn lying husband of mine anymore because,

well, he just divorced me.

It's official today.

No, I'm the one who was left behind.

Maybe we should get you that condo in Santa Barbara.

That bastard is not going to take me out of my hometown

into some, like, divorcee suburb like Santa Barbara.

Why do we have to do this?

Why can't we just hang out?

Why? What's the point?

Well, because that's what reunions are for.

Well, this is a private reunion, Patrick, amongst so -called best high

friends.

Okay.

I'm gay.

And I was gay in high school. So, like Mindy, I have also stayed the

same, yet dramatically changed.

How have you changed?

I told the army I was gay.

And I was asked to leave. Wait a minute, wait a minute. How could you be gay and

in the military?

I was careful and subtle.

What did your father say?

Oh, God. He thinks I'm going to be bringing home strange teenage boys in

skirts and makeup at all hours of the night.

He's so pissed.

Father has a very vivid imagination.

Or you do.

Well, if he could imagine such a thing, he would have.

Well... You guys remember how I liked to play cards?

Yeah. Yeah, you were good. He was good at it.

Brian used to have to skim the register for date money.

He'd give him for such a ride.

Yeah, I know. I took myself for a ride.

The gambling problem?

Yeah, you know, I used to play with a bunch of guys I used to play with, and

got bigger and bigger. Then I started betting on ponies. I don't see you at

track. Yeah, you were one of those guys who, like...

Walk around talking to themselves?

Yeah, with their pockets hanging out and shit. What do you have?

Yeah. How did they fuck with your career?

Did more than that.

Hmm.

Okay, now that we've gone through this, Mr. Passive -Aggressive, what has

happened to you, golden boy?

No, wait, please, you guys. Wait, because... I can't stand it. This is

so great, you guys.

This is great.

I have a confession.

I was weenie genie.

Who was that? The biggest loser of 1981.

No way.

No way.

Way. Whoa.

I slept with Weenie Jeannie.

Yes, Brad.

Yes, you did.

But I was Weenie Jeannie, but I wasn't a loser. I mean, I don't know why some

people are the losers.

I mean, how does that get determined year after year after year? I mean, it

makes you scared that your kid will be the one that's the chosen one, the

I mean, it would be horrible. I wouldn't know what to say to my child if some

kids picked some awful name to call them.

It would break my heart.

I thought you were kind of hot in a gawky way.

You knew who I was all along?

No, but I remember you now.

And I remember... I remember you in the homeroom.

And I remember you in the cafeteria.

And I remember you in the library all alone, hiding.

All crunched up over in your cubicle with your hair on your face.

You never smiled at anybody or anything?

I kind of thought maybe you might have been a bit retarded.

It's like destiny!

I mean, they finally found each other!

I love making pizza, but I fucking suck at it.

My brother Brian, he was good at making pizza.

He was the best at making pizza.

Okay, you people tell me, what do I do that makes any difference?

What do I do that matters?

You guys are getting me all emotional.

Are you good at snoring ghosts? Oh, shit!

I'm there, there.

Hey, you know, I mean, you're a great drummer.

And you're an amazing friend.

And you know how to go on a business.

I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna quit the coke.

I'm gonna...

Get my life together.

Yeah, and the pizza is going to be better, too.

Okay, people.

How do you say we cool off a little bit?

Hold on a second. I started this whole raw exposing thing, so I might as well

tell you about my hard fall from perfection.

The mark I left on you guys 20 years ago.

It's all bullshit.

You know, you're too hard on yourself, and I barely know that. Thanks, Jeannie.

Thanks, but I've been basically unimpressed with myself.

You know, I think we always have this illusion of what we were and what we're

going to be.

And none of it ever adds up. Yeah, it's called a midlife crisis.

I'm not blaming my problems on any timeline theory, Margaret.

Or anybody, for that matter.

And Jeannie...

When I thought you didn't know me, I relaxed a little bit.

I haven't relaxed like that in a while.

Hey, it seems like we're, I mean, taking this whole reunion thing a little too

seriously.

I mean, it seems like a final judgment, you know, judgment day or something.

It's really just a silly banquet with bad music.

I mean, a killer time with everything perfect.

Yeah.

What I'm saying is it's just a marker. I mean, it's just a 20 -year marker that

brought us all back together again.

I mean, we may not even see each other again until the next reunion.

So who gives a shit what anyone thinks about anyone?

An excuse for us to pretend we're in high school again.

I don't think it could be any more than that. I agree with that. I think we're

being too hard on ourselves.

I think we should try to have some more fun.

Yeah.

Let's have some fun.

I'm going to try.

You're going to do it. I can't.

You got the key, Mayor?

Don't worry about it. He's my cousin's brother.

Hee hee hee!

I'm not coming to the reunion.

Why? I'm going back to L .A. I can't take this town, man.

Personally, I can't wait.

Why? I'll tell you why.

I'm dying to see how fat and lame those people are that weren't so nice to me.

And I'm going to flash them a pearly white smile, clip my hair, and subtly

insult every single one of them. There you go, man.

Come and do that.

Hey, you want to be my date?

I don't know. I was kind of thinking of taking the mayor, you know, give me some

action.

Oh, you've been a riot all night.

I told you, I have no room for you in my little black book anymore.

What do you mean? The town doesn't know about your little past and all your

little boyfriends? No. What? She's very discreet. There you go.

I would not want to fuel the rumor mill, darling. My senator husband for that.

He does his thing, I do mine, and everything is fair.

Cute little men terms the whole thing. I can't go to the reunion. I mean, Mark's

going to be there. No, I can't. I'm just strong enough. You know, I'm going to

buy myself a ticket to Antigua.

No, before I do that, I'm going to trade in the minivan.

I'm going to quit the coke, guys.

No, I really mean it. And I'm going to sell the pizza place. Thank you, man.

So it's Dee and me at the party tonight. And me.

Good for you, Patrick.

If I'm thinking about moving back here, I'm going to have to hang out with the

locals.

Oh, that'll be dangerous for your IQ. Okay, stop dissing the town. This is a

good town.

It ain't easy trying to be a teacher when you never had a chance to

learn.

It ain't hard to lose when you're a loser.

Think that with nothing in your hands, it would be harder to get burned.

Typical circumstances when an idiot is generous, giving everything to

only those who take what he don't have.

It is a rule that a lie to a fool must be forgiven by the one who tells it

thinking that he deserves the upper hand.

Go set me free so I can understand it.

Give me the word so I can be a man.

Love, you gotta set me free so I can understand it.

Give me the words so I can be a man.

People turn around and the bar room door slams open. And the man who spilled my

drink says, boy, why you talking to my wife?

I told him once, maybe twice, that we hadn't even spoken.

Must be doing it wrong, doing it wrong, doing it wrong.

Lord, you gotta set me free so I can understand it.

Give me the words so I can be a man.

Lord, you gotta set me free so I can understand it. Yeah, give

me the words.

So I can be mad and shit again and to give

things away.

You can take what I own, but you can't own what I

make.

Yeah, cause the thoughts come in, don't come out.

When I speak and they just keep on hitting below the knee,

yeah.

Shitting below.

Straight up man berating me.

He's beating life and he's hating me.

Why is it that I wonder why I buy this to a drink, yeah?

And maybe it's just to save me from the trouble that awaits me. If I only had

the courage, yes, just to tell them what I think. Gonna set me free so I can

understand it. Yeah, give me the words.

So I can be a man.

Lord, you gotta set me free so I can understand it. Yeah, give

me the words so I can be a man.

Lord, you gotta set me free so I can understand.

Give me the words so I can be a man.

Tell me please.

Please quickly, I must understand,

you've got to save me.

Lord, you've got to save me.