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1
00:03:10,030 --> 00:03:12,150
Thank you.
2
00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:54,450
Hey, Mina.
3
00:03:54,750 --> 00:03:55,810
How was the surgery?
4
00:03:56,330 --> 00:03:57,390
Are you black yet?
5
00:03:58,090 --> 00:04:00,230
That was just a consultation.
6
00:04:01,430 --> 00:04:03,830
Hang on, I can't see you. Your internet
is shit.
7
00:04:04,550 --> 00:04:08,370
Do you feel I can go next week and do
it?
8
00:04:08,650 --> 00:04:10,690
I hope you like it.
9
00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:14,470
Do whatever you want, Mina, but
honestly, I think you're fine the way
10
00:04:15,050 --> 00:04:16,209
There's no way.
11
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,190
It's just a pre -injection.
12
00:04:20,170 --> 00:04:23,790
Look, it's fine. If you want to do it,
just do whatever makes you feel happy.
13
00:04:24,010 --> 00:04:25,630
That's not why I was calling, though,
actually.
14
00:04:26,390 --> 00:04:30,630
I woke up this morning and I found this
weird growth thing on my chest.
15
00:04:30,990 --> 00:04:34,030
What? It's like a weird tentacle thing.
16
00:04:37,490 --> 00:04:38,490
A tentacle?
17
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:39,930
What do you mean?
18
00:04:39,990 --> 00:04:40,990
I don't know.
19
00:04:41,850 --> 00:04:43,630
It's like a weird tentacle.
20
00:04:44,950 --> 00:04:48,890
I don't know what I would call it. If I
squeeze it, I can feel my heart beating.
21
00:04:50,150 --> 00:04:53,030
I'm just, my body's falling apart
recently. I'm getting old.
22
00:04:55,110 --> 00:04:57,090
You should go to the doctor.
23
00:04:57,670 --> 00:05:01,430
Ah, it's so shit here. Like, uh, they'll
give me an appointment probably for
24
00:05:01,430 --> 00:05:02,430
next month.
25
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:06,690
Ah, it's alright, though. I, I,
actually, I met a healer guy.
26
00:05:07,230 --> 00:05:08,810
What? A healer?
27
00:05:09,170 --> 00:05:13,190
Yeah, a healer guy. Like, uh, I met him
the other week. Um, he seemed alright.
28
00:05:13,310 --> 00:05:14,630
He had really bad BO, though.
29
00:06:09,070 --> 00:06:13,370
Hang on a minute, Mina. It's that fat
guy. The one with the beard and the
30
00:06:13,370 --> 00:06:16,010
coat. I'll talk to you later.
31
00:06:16,890 --> 00:06:18,070
All right. Have fun.
32
00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:58,320
it real good.
33
00:07:02,740 --> 00:07:04,880
Ah, yes, that's right.
34
00:07:13,860 --> 00:07:17,100
Do the ass thing.
35
00:07:18,420 --> 00:07:20,760
Ass thing? That's 30 bucks extra.
36
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,400
Do the ass thing!
37
00:07:24,420 --> 00:07:27,600
Just... Just pay the 30 bucks you cheap
sack of shit.
38
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:32,480
Just pay up you fucking asshole.
39
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:23,020
Try to stay calm.
40
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:25,400
Distract yourself.
41
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:27,460
Go for a walk.
42
00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:33,960
I'll be there in about an hour and we'll
take care of it.
43
00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:47,720
Have you ever seen anything like this
before?
44
00:11:49,870 --> 00:11:53,450
It's not common, but it happens.
45
00:11:55,790 --> 00:11:57,710
Where did it come from?
46
00:11:59,330 --> 00:12:00,530
It's hard to tell.
47
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:03,170
Childhood traumas.
48
00:12:04,710 --> 00:12:05,750
Chemicals in the soap.
49
00:12:07,130 --> 00:12:08,370
Background radiation.
50
00:12:09,850 --> 00:12:12,710
We are exposed to a lot of pollutants
these days.
51
00:12:13,970 --> 00:12:17,310
Do you think they might be able to
remove it?
52
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,420
At the hospital?
53
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:20,960
No, no, no, no, no.
54
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:22,320
Don't do that.
55
00:12:23,580 --> 00:12:26,680
The hospital, it will be a disaster.
56
00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:30,900
Though, just cut it off.
57
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:35,620
And I'll grow it back again and again
and again.
58
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:40,320
By the end, you'll be more tentacle than
man.
59
00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:44,880
I have a special tea for you.
60
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:47,800
What is it?
61
00:12:48,030 --> 00:12:49,030
What is this tree made of?
62
00:12:49,530 --> 00:12:52,350
It's made from the bark of the Kampanga
tree.
63
00:12:54,750 --> 00:12:56,830
It's real hard to get a hold of.
64
00:12:58,970 --> 00:13:00,090
But don't worry.
65
00:13:01,430 --> 00:13:02,750
I'll get you some more.
66
00:13:07,890 --> 00:13:10,270
Where did it come from?
67
00:13:12,570 --> 00:13:14,590
No country you have heard of.
68
00:13:21,290 --> 00:13:23,810
Take this tea two or three times a day.
69
00:13:24,990 --> 00:13:28,370
It will help your immune system clear
the tentacle.
70
00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:34,130
What about the soap?
71
00:13:35,390 --> 00:13:38,350
I don't believe in soap.
72
00:13:40,830 --> 00:13:43,250
Something strange happened earlier.
73
00:13:45,530 --> 00:13:47,430
I was opening an avocado.
74
00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:59,210
There was this disgusting thing growing
inside, covered in pink
75
00:13:59,210 --> 00:14:00,210
goop.
76
00:14:00,890 --> 00:14:04,450
Did it look a bit like a brain?
77
00:14:06,090 --> 00:14:10,470
I'd say it looked more like an eyeball.
78
00:14:12,150 --> 00:14:15,290
Did it have an umbilical cord?
79
00:14:17,110 --> 00:14:19,610
Yeah, something like that.
80
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:23,440
I put it in a jar.
81
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,840
Uh... You wanna see it?
82
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:29,560
Yeah.
83
00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:40,580
Jesus Christ.
84
00:14:42,820 --> 00:14:44,780
This is precisely what you need.
85
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,520
It's an Oreo to me like that.
86
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:51,680
Quick.
87
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:57,020
It needs to attach itself to another
tree.
88
00:14:58,340 --> 00:14:59,880
It's a parasitic plant.
89
00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:01,640
A rare fungus.
90
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:06,740
It infects the tree and turns into this
thing.
91
00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:11,440
It's an extremely rare plant.
92
00:15:14,940 --> 00:15:20,460
So incredibly rare that I've only seen
it in ancient books.
93
00:15:46,970 --> 00:15:48,990
Take real good care of it.
94
00:15:50,090 --> 00:15:52,030
You've been incredibly lucky to find it.
95
00:16:25,130 --> 00:16:31,150
collect the secretions and apply them to
the tentacle two or three times a day
96
00:16:31,150 --> 00:16:34,810
until it heals.
97
00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:56,930
Hi guys, welcome back. So today I'm
going to be talking about my tentacle
98
00:16:56,930 --> 00:17:01,190
like some new alternative remedies I
found for it. So this thing started
99
00:17:01,190 --> 00:17:05,210
about two years ago. It was a stressful
time. The doctors didn't really know
100
00:17:05,210 --> 00:17:06,390
what to do about it or anything.
101
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:10,290
So what I did was look it up online and
like I couldn't really find anything
102
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:14,470
except this one guy who got surgery, but
he like suffered from death.
103
00:17:15,109 --> 00:17:18,869
But yeah, so this is why I'm looking for
some alternative remedies now. Right
104
00:17:18,869 --> 00:17:22,270
now, I'm taking some chaga tea. I heard
it has a lot of healing properties. What
105
00:17:22,270 --> 00:17:26,290
the fuck is going on? I'm also making
this paste out of ginger, uh, root root,
106
00:17:26,390 --> 00:17:27,450
and lava for a cactus.
107
00:17:27,990 --> 00:17:32,430
So after a few weeks using this paste,
I've noticed that my tentacle has not
108
00:17:32,430 --> 00:17:33,430
been growing.
109
00:17:33,590 --> 00:17:36,870
It's been staying the same size, which
is pretty small. So yeah, you guys might
110
00:17:36,870 --> 00:17:39,530
have noticed that it's kind of like a
bifurcating tentacle.
111
00:17:39,750 --> 00:17:41,610
It kind of looks like a snail. It's like
a small pet.
112
00:17:41,890 --> 00:17:45,410
If it doesn't get any bigger, I think I
can live with it. It's kind of cute. I
113
00:17:45,410 --> 00:17:48,310
don't really mind it being there
anymore. I think that you should just
114
00:17:48,310 --> 00:17:51,830
it and learn how to love it. Yeah, I've
been making little accessories for mine.
115
00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:54,330
And yeah, maybe I'll make a video about
it sometime.
116
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:58,500
If you have any questions, leave a
comment, and we'll see you guys next
117
00:17:58,740 --> 00:18:00,420
What the hell is this?
118
00:23:35,050 --> 00:23:38,830
Yeah, look at this. On the bus on the
way over here, two twins taking pictures
119
00:23:38,830 --> 00:23:39,830
of me. Okay.
120
00:23:40,610 --> 00:23:43,650
Two twins taking pictures of me. What
about it?
121
00:23:43,970 --> 00:23:47,270
Well, they're like twin dickheads.
They're wearing the same clothes.
122
00:23:47,530 --> 00:23:48,389
I guess.
123
00:23:48,390 --> 00:23:49,630
They look pretty weird.
124
00:23:49,890 --> 00:23:50,890
Yeah? I don't know.
125
00:23:53,750 --> 00:23:59,450
Are you okay?
126
00:24:00,370 --> 00:24:01,430
You look like shit.
127
00:24:02,710 --> 00:24:04,070
I always look like this.
128
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:06,040
More or less.
129
00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:11,300
Ah, look, that's nasty.
130
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,340
You see this? What the fuck?
131
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:15,019
What's that?
132
00:24:15,020 --> 00:24:16,020
It looks pretty weird.
133
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:17,780
It looks bad, yeah? What is it?
134
00:24:19,460 --> 00:24:22,760
I've got, like, this tentacle thing
growing on me.
135
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:24,160
Have you seen a doctor?
136
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:28,120
I got this healer. He came over to my
house. Healer?
137
00:24:28,460 --> 00:24:30,720
Yeah, a healer. He gave me some
ointment.
138
00:24:31,300 --> 00:24:32,840
Okay. See what happens.
139
00:24:33,500 --> 00:24:35,580
I still think you should go see a
doctor.
140
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,440
Well, I'll see what happens with the
ointment.
141
00:24:38,900 --> 00:24:43,080
And then, yeah, if I don't die, I'll go
and see a doctor.
142
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:04,620
I told you, mate, I don't have any mayo.
143
00:25:04,940 --> 00:25:07,740
Have another one of these, yep?
144
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:10,080
Ugh.
145
00:25:12,660 --> 00:25:13,660
Hang on a minute.
146
00:25:17,460 --> 00:25:19,740
Well, how about this? Like, foot cream.
147
00:25:20,460 --> 00:25:21,460
What you got?
148
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,460
Dactylacort. Does it squeeze?
149
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:26,480
Oh, let's see.
150
00:25:26,900 --> 00:25:28,780
Does it really look like mayo?
151
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:30,199
I don't know.
152
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:31,200
Let's see.
153
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:38,680
How's that?
154
00:25:39,380 --> 00:25:41,060
Yeah, I could work with that.
155
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:44,040
Do another one.
156
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:46,920
Yeah.
157
00:25:47,860 --> 00:25:48,860
That's it.
158
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:51,120
Give me another one.
159
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:52,339
Oh, shit.
160
00:25:52,340 --> 00:25:55,380
My wife's calling me late. Sorry, we're
going to have to wrap it up now.
161
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,140
Oh, no, one more minute.
162
00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:58,640
I'm almost there.
163
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:00,200
Okay, pay up.
164
00:26:00,420 --> 00:26:01,399
One more minute.
165
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:02,640
I'm almost there.
166
00:26:03,060 --> 00:26:06,880
We're going to have to fucking wrap it
up now. Just pay up. Like, okay, look.
167
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:11,420
One ketchup, two ketchups, uh, whatever,
uh, foot cream.
168
00:26:11,660 --> 00:26:13,000
That's a speciality item.
169
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:14,780
That's gonna be a fiver, yeah?
170
00:26:15,220 --> 00:26:18,240
Whatever. You don't know how to run a
business.
171
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,020
The fucking foot cream and the two
ketchups.
172
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:22,640
Pay up.
173
00:26:24,380 --> 00:26:26,200
Yep, thanks a lot, dickhead.
174
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:33,840
Hey, Mina.
175
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,720
Um, it looks a bit weird.
176
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,080
I hope you like it.
177
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:42,680
What do you think?
178
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:45,500
Purple. You like it?
179
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:46,960
Yeah, it looks good.
180
00:26:47,860 --> 00:26:48,900
It's pretty hot, huh?
181
00:26:50,340 --> 00:26:51,340
Yeah.
182
00:26:52,260 --> 00:26:53,260
Yeah, it looks good.
183
00:26:54,220 --> 00:26:55,300
Very purple.
184
00:26:56,500 --> 00:26:57,720
You don't like it?
185
00:26:58,640 --> 00:26:59,960
I think they botched it.
186
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:05,200
No, it does look good. It's just a bit
shocking, isn't it?
187
00:27:05,930 --> 00:27:07,130
It's a huge change.
188
00:27:08,390 --> 00:27:09,390
It looks good.
189
00:27:10,010 --> 00:27:12,670
I'm a hot toddy. Yeah, it looks nice.
190
00:27:13,170 --> 00:27:14,350
How did your tent go?
191
00:27:15,930 --> 00:27:19,450
Maybe a bit better, I'm not sure.
192
00:27:19,750 --> 00:27:21,390
Did you get the pictures I sent?
193
00:27:21,730 --> 00:27:23,170
Yes, it looks the same.
194
00:27:23,590 --> 00:27:28,390
It shrinks whenever I put the goo on it,
and then it starts growing back pretty
195
00:27:28,390 --> 00:27:30,490
quickly, so I have to keep putting the
stuff on it.
196
00:27:31,310 --> 00:27:33,050
Why don't you put it more often?
197
00:27:33,470 --> 00:27:35,190
It really hurts.
198
00:27:36,540 --> 00:27:37,980
I'll help you when I get home.
199
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,360
I was thinking maybe we can go on a
holiday.
200
00:27:41,740 --> 00:27:45,060
Yeah, it'd be nice, but I don't think we
can afford it after this operation.
201
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,080
Aren't you making good money with all
that fat guy?
202
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:50,340
Yeah, not that much really, though.
203
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:51,700
Where did you want to go?
204
00:27:52,140 --> 00:27:55,340
I was thinking Africa, so I can be with
my people.
205
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:57,600
And I bought my loose.
206
00:28:49,870 --> 00:28:50,409
Are you listening?
207
00:28:50,410 --> 00:28:52,190
I am listening. There's someone outside.
208
00:28:52,510 --> 00:28:53,510
Hang on.
209
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,060
Jesus fucking Christ.
210
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:36,840
I just saw this tentacle porn website.
211
00:30:37,180 --> 00:30:39,540
I don't know what the fuck is going on.
212
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:44,060
People will like what they like, Joe.
213
00:30:44,500 --> 00:30:45,500
I suppose.
214
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:52,200
Listen, could I maybe get a jar of that
goop?
215
00:30:52,500 --> 00:30:53,500
Sure.
216
00:30:53,740 --> 00:30:56,840
I have a customer that could benefit
from that.
217
00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:02,720
Tell me, Joe, how is the tentacle going?
218
00:31:03,180 --> 00:31:08,880
Better? Well, the goop seems to make it
smaller.
219
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:11,780
Then it grows back.
220
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:14,880
So, better, yes?
221
00:31:15,620 --> 00:31:18,800
It looks about the same.
222
00:31:19,420 --> 00:31:20,420
Improving?
223
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:23,060
About the same.
224
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,060
Okay, sounds good.
225
00:31:25,260 --> 00:31:26,260
Keep at it.
226
00:31:27,660 --> 00:31:28,660
Hello?
227
00:31:40,460 --> 00:31:42,440
Africa, that's fucked up.
228
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:45,360
Yeah, she said she wants to be with her
people.
229
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:47,980
Seriously, you can't let her do this.
230
00:31:48,380 --> 00:31:51,080
Yeah, I think it's fucking weird, but I
love her.
231
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:09,060
You guys are going to go to Africa and
be black.
232
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:12,060
What do you think the Africans are going
to say about this?
233
00:32:12,700 --> 00:32:15,340
Oh, I don't know. Like, maybe they'd be
flattered.
234
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,020
Masai seemed pretty friendly.
235
00:32:17,420 --> 00:32:20,400
Oh, my God. You're going to go live with
the Masai?
236
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:22,660
She just wants to be like Martina Big.
237
00:32:23,420 --> 00:32:24,420
Who?
238
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:29,100
Oh, you should Google her. She was this
crazy blonde German model with too much
239
00:32:29,100 --> 00:32:31,200
plastic surgery and these humongous
boobs.
240
00:32:31,420 --> 00:32:32,620
Like, she turned black.
241
00:32:40,290 --> 00:32:42,230
V? She's not alone.
242
00:32:44,590 --> 00:32:45,730
What the fuck is that?
243
00:33:48,620 --> 00:33:50,900
Those fucking twins are outside my house
just now.
244
00:33:52,060 --> 00:33:55,880
I don't know what the fuck is going on.
They're taking pictures. The second time
245
00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:56,880
they've been at my house.
246
00:34:37,070 --> 00:34:38,290
I think they're back again.
247
00:34:38,650 --> 00:34:39,650
Okay.
17016
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