Original subtitles

- Yeah, relax, Benny.

Last month was an act of God.

No, that means not very often, Benny.

God doesn't even know where Clump is.

It was a freak accident.

Now, listen, your tobacco is as safe as beer cans.

We run a tight ship, and my boys operate

at the very highest level of professionalism.

- How would you prefer to die?

Scenario numero one: your hands are bound.

You're tied to a stake, or--

- Why?

- Why what? - Why am I tied to a stake?

- It's a hyper-theoretical.

- I'm punting you mean "hypothetical," but go on.

- What I said. So your hands are bound.

Someone covers you in honey

and releases a million fire ants.

- Where are they gonna get a million fire ants from?

More to the point,

how will they keep 'em all in the same spot?

- They're criminals.

- Yeah, but they're not ant trainers, are they?

We--we are criminals.

What are you saying, like, "Oi, Ma,

release the fire ants"?

What are you talking about?

- There's some sick people out there, James.

- Luke, why do you bother me with this stuff, mate?

- Life poses difficult questions.

- Yeah, but this isn't one of 'em.

- Oi! Hey, what's going on here?

- What?

- What in the hell have you done

with my damn chop-chop boxes?

- Oh, bugger me.

[bluesy rock music]

- Well, don't just stand there. Go in and get 'em.

* *

[cheery vocal music]

* *

[birds chirping and squawking]

- [sighs]

[upbeat music]

* *

[sighs]

Perfect.

- Dickhead One, this is Dickhead Two. Over.

Hey, Dickhead One, this is Dickhead Two.

- Come in, Dickhead Two.

You woke me up. Over.

- Hey, where are you? Over.

- Paris. Mid-winter.

- Why aren't you at the manse? Over.

- Hey, back in a sec, Dickhead Two. Over.

* *

Daisy.

- You didn't sleep here last night, did you?

- No, no. Just came for a swim.

- So you're still at the manse, yeah?

- Yeah, of course I am.

- It's important you have that address.

The court will take that into account.

What's he like, this new reverend?

- Yeah, he's a really great guy.

- Good.

[phone ringing]

- Hi, Lew. Hang on just a second, all right?

[groans]

Okay. I'm coming. I'm coming.

- He's at it again. - [muffled] Hold on, buddy.

[normally] Hold on. Hold on. - He's a busy man.

- All right. What have you got?

- Hello, Keegan, my friend.

- Mackenzie?

- Yeah, calling from a new cell phone.

So if you need me, you just call me here, okay?

Listen, I'm thinking,

we both can't go around with the same name.

So you know what I'm calling myself?

- I kind of like dead priest.

- Jeannie Tupps!

- You're calling to tell me... - I'm coming. I'm coming.

- That you are calling yourself Jeannie Tupps?

- No, no, no, no, no. That's my new friend.

No, no. Are you ready? Bryan Mills.

- Yeah. - That's my name, from "Taken."

Liam Neeson's character. We talked about this.

- Sure. - Come on. Nothing?

Nothing at all? I thought you would enjoy that more.

All right, listen, buddy. Anyway, reason for the call.

You got a wedding this weekend, okay?

And I wanna make sure you don't make us look bad.

It is my name at stake as well, right?

- Sure. [whistle blows]

- Oh, hey, buddy, listen. I'm gonna call you back, okay?

My hotel runs a free Zumba class,

and I need 100% focus on the body,

because this is about to get savage. [laughs]

- Wait, wait.

Your hotel does that for you, huh?

Free Zumba classes?

- Oh, are you kidding me?

It is an unbelievable cardio workout.

I'm doing this every day until I leave on Monday.

Man, I'm gonna miss this place.

Hey, buddy, you know what?

I'll call you back later with instructions.

Wait, better yet, I have a great idea.

I will record a service for you,

and you can just follow it, all right?

- Sounds great.

- I'll tell you right now, buddy.

A few more days of this,

Charmaine will regret divorcing this maverick,

maverick, maverick, maverick man, whoo!

- Hotel Zumba class in... Surfers Paradise.

I got you. I got you.

Yes!

[line ringing]

- Hello. - Lew? Lew.

- Lorenzo sent his pit bull after you.

- Christ. Farah?

- Hell yeah.

- Lew, you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.

That number you gave me is dead.

- It doesn't matter anymore, Lew.

I've got a lead on this guy.

He's staying in a hotel in a place called

Surfers Paradise for three more nights.

If I leave by tonight, I can make it.

Look, Lew, I need an ID.

- Man, you need a lot of things.

- I can get the money,

but without a decent ID, I'm a sitting duck.

I can't even buy gas right now.

Forget about a hotel. Forget about flights.

I can't move an inch, okay? I need you to call Paige.

- Paige? Really?

You know I'm out of that game now.

- Come on, Lew.

If I wasn't desperate, I wouldn't ask.

Please. - Okay, I'll call her.

But she's gonna charge you extra,

'cause if Lorenzo finds out,

he's gonna kill her.

You're looking at a lot of money, man.

- Yep.

Thanks, man. I've got a window.

If I'm not out of here by nightfall,

he's gone.

- Stay alive, man.

You be careful.

- Mm-hmm.

* *

- Morning, Reverend.

First morning, all very exciting.

- Not now, Peter.

- Are we right to begin the work of pastoral care?

There are some important members of the community

waiting to meet you.

- Uh-huh. - Very powerful people.

- Yeah, no, no, no, no.

I am very anxious to meet them, but right now,

I have to go deal with Satan himself.

So I need you to cover for me. Yeah?

Just stall for a little bit, and--and--

and I need you to tell me where the internet is.

- I think just it's-- - No, no, no.

- No, no, no. - Peter, the internet.

- Internet. Lucy's at the beach bar.

- Great. Thanks.

* *

[engine puttering]

- Cam! Cam!

Come, come, come, come, come. - What?

- Come. [dog barks]

We're gonna be millionaires.

Look what washed up on the beach.

- Oh, no, no, no.

No, you can't be caught selling dope,

not with what you've got coming up.

They'll throw away the key.

- It's not dope. It's chop-chop.

Tobacco, like the stuff they sell in the store.

- Yeah, but it's still-- it's illegal, ain't it?

- It's exactly the same stuff they sell legally in packets.

Smokers don't care. They just want it cheap.

It gives you the exact same cancer as the legal stuff.

- [sighs] I don't know.

Daise, you know, criminals grow this stuff.

- We didn't steal it, and we didn't grow it.

I found it.

Oh, come on, Cam.

This is worth, like, I don't know,

50 grand.

We sell it, we split it, and I'm going down

the Canal Saint-Martin and going to the Louvre.

- Why do you always wanna leave?

- Why stay? No one wants us here.

I'm a dropout, and you're weird.

[bird squawking]

- Okay. - Yeah? Yeah?

- Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Look, give me one box,

and I'll sell it at the caravan park, yeah?

- Yeah. - That's where the smokers are.

Everyone else is too healthy.

Be careful.

- Yep.

- Guinness, here, boy.

* *

- Hi.

Hi, I'm looking for the internet café.

- Oh...[chuckles]

This way.

* *

- Okay. [grunts]

* *

[engine puttering]

[computer blipping]

Okay. Let's go.

Zumba. Surfers Paradise.

[touch tones beeping]

[modem beeping]

[groans]

[breathes deeply]

Okay.

- Is it working?

- Hey, could I get

just a coffee with oat milk, soy milk?

And I would love a bagel with lox,

low-fat cream cheese.

No capers. Thank you.

- You been to the hardware?

- I'm all set for tools, but thanks.

[modem beeping]

[upbeat music]

* *

- [groans]

* *

How you doing there, Pipe?

- Ah, welcome back to the land of the living.

The drunken bachelor awakes.

- Major investigation? - Yep.

- Status update?

- Well, how about I print out a progress report for you?

You can give me your thoughts.

- Really? I'd love that.

They grow it in the rain forests

and the sugar plantations, you know.

Chop-chop trade is worth millions.

- Thanks for your input, Detective.

- You're welcome.

You can't really blame people. We're all broke.

- Chad, you know I can arrest you for real, right?

- [laughs] Yeah. Yeah.

It's organic.

You know, fair trade?

It's like, shop local, you know?

- Coffee's up. Strong coffee for sis.

- Impeccable timing, Harry.

- And one cappuccino for the drunken baby.

- Thank you, Harry.

Whoa. That's a lot of chop-chop.

- Chad? - Yeah.

- Don't you have a wedding to plan?

- Oh, yes.

Yeah--yes. Thanks for having me.

- You find him a convincing baby?

- Yep.

- Yes.

All right.

[computer blips]

[printer whirring]

[power whirs down]

Oh, come on.

Hey, can you tell me where the nearest landline is,

you know, one where I can actually hold a conversation?

- Oh, the caravan park has a pay phone.

Mobiles aren't great here.

- Great. I'm just printing something off real quick.

- Oh, I'll restart the generator.

* *

[engine turning over]

[sharp thud]

[engine revs]

[sighs]

[groans]

Piper!

[groans]

Ah, Daisy, Daisy.

How far away is the caravan park?

- Five kilometers, just down the beach.

- What's that in miles? - What are miles?

- A masculine kilometer. What's with the box?

- Wedding cake.

- A wedding cake inside of a Styrofoam box

with--what is that-- a fish on top?

- Yep. Just keeping it in the church fridge.

- Why not? All right, thanks.

* *

[bell dinging]

- Hey. Hey.

- I hear you have something

under the table for sale to Georgian brother?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Oh!

- Maybe we should not

do this dodgy sale in front of holy man.

- No, no. Hey. Hey, Rev.

Peace.

Welcome to the Clump Beach Resort.

How can I help you? - I need some coins.

I need to use the pay phone.

- Yeah. Where are you calling?

- Surfers Paradise.

- Gold Coast. Okay, yeah. - Yeah, great.

- You're gonna need ten 50-cent coins.

- Go figure. There you go.

- Thank you. Okay.

And that is ten. That's ten 50-cent coins.

- I gave you a ten. - Yeah, there's ten.

- That means I get 20 50-cent coins.

- No, we sell 50s for a dollar here.

It's our small commission.

- Your small commission is 100%.

- Roughly.

- [sighs] Where's the phone?

- Okay, if you take a right and then a left,

so, like, a half right, and then all the way out...

- I'll find it. - And it's on the--

Oh, good luck, Rev.

* *

- Hi, I was wondering if, by any chance,

your hotel offered free Zumba classes.

No. Okay.

Zumba. Yeah.

- Oh, somebody got a new dress. You look great, Mary.

- Z-U-M.

- Hey, Bill. Hey, Michelle.

Ezra.

- No, no, I'm not interested in badminton.

I'm just wondering

if your hotel offers free Zumba classes.

- Yes, as it happens, we do. - Really?

- With our resident Zumba instructor,

Jeannie Tupps.

- Ah, Jeannie Tupps!

Yeah, I've heard about her.

A good friend of mine has stayed at your hotel.

Actually, he might still be there right now.

Could you tell me

if you still have a guest there named...

Bryan, Bryan...Mills?

- Ooh, he just danced his way out of here.

Did you want me to call him back?

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Absolutely not. I kind of wanna surprise him.

- Such a fun guy.

Very generous tipper.

- Okay. I'll be seeing you guys soon.

Bye-bye.

Yes!

- Boss, I'm heading out to the Jovics'.

- Piper, you don't have a warrant.

Do not touch anything.

- Copy that.

[upbeat music]

* *

There has to be 30 boxes stacked up outside.

- They're probably full of fish or empty ones.

It's their business.

- The boxes are sealed and sitting outside

in full sunshine, and they smell of tobacco.

Rahane, we're gonna have to wrap this up.

- Just give me the headline, Pipe.

- Best time to hit the Jovics would be tomorrow.

Big weddings close small towns. They won't be expecting us.

- All right, fine. I'll get a warrant, all right?

Just keep me posted.

- Copy. Great.

- Hey, Officer,

I feel as though we got off on the wrong foot.

- From memory, I don't think you had any footing.

- [laughs]

And that is totally fair.

I'm just hoping that, you know,

maybe we could find the reset button.

- Can you hold this flashlight for me?

- Yeah, sure.

- Reset what? - You booted my hearse.

- Booted?

- Yeah, you put that thing on the wheel.

- Oh, that would be a clamp.

- Well, "to-may-to," "to-mah-to."

- Why don't you ride a bike?

Great exercise. Get you back in shape.

- [scoffs] No, I am in--

I'm in great shape, thanks.

- Have you thought to ask yourself

why you're holding the flashlight?

- Power outage.

- Caused by one perfectly contoured athlete

who wiped out our electricity supply.

Yeah.

Get me a copy of your license.

- Piper, all I'm trying to do is my job.

I need to get around and tend to my flock.

- Boot stays.

"To-may-to," "to-mah-to."

* *

- Reverend Mackenzie. - Oh, God, what now?

- Today's rounds are now fully compromised.

We are beyond tight.

I've moved the wedding preparations to 5:00,

but we need more time.

- Yeah, no, cancel it, Peter. - What?

- No.

- I thought you were desperate to do your rounds.

Here you have a vehicle and a licensed driver.

- My God, you're right.

[laughs]

Look, if you think that we have enough time,

let's meet some parishioners.

- This is Reverend Mackenzie Boyd.

Reverend, this is Flo.

- Would you like some tea? - Oh, yes.

- Lamington? - How could I say no?

- Perhaps a little tune?

[slow piano music playing]

[upbeat music]

- Lamington?

[mugs clink]

[fly buzzing]

- Lamington.

* *

- You, where'd you get your tobacco from?

- You, take long walk off big cliff.

Ay!

- [sniffs]

It's ours.

- Where'd you get your tobacco from?

- Little shop in Tbilisi. What is to you?

- Oi, Rasputin, I'll give you one more chance.

Where'd you get your tobacco from?

- You think you frighten me?

Pfft! Please. I'm Georgian.

We survive winter so cold, we have to eat our own shoes.

I spit on your threat.

Nothing you do will make me talk.

Hey! - Don't break him.

- Is Cameron Nettlebeck, caravan 42.

Come, come, I show you. This place is labyrinth.

- Peter, I swear to you, if I have one more lamingtons,

I'm gonna go into diabetic shock.

And if I puke, which is very possible,

you're gonna be cleaning up the coconut bits.

I'm done. Take me home right now.

- Delaine won't feed you. She's widowed, and she's blind.

And it's "lamington."

- Not when you've had 47.

Come on, Peter, I really need to be getting back.

- Well, this will be the last,

and remember the wedding rehearsal this afternoon.

- What's--what's up with the little hot rod?

Is that Delaine's?

- It's her late husband's illegally modified Torana.

He used to fix them.

- Really?

Say, Peter, you know, sometimes these things go a little better

when it's just one-on-one, you know what I mean?

So why don't I go in by myself

and, you know, I'll provide comfort?

- Good. She can be prickly. We never really jelled.

- Can't imagine why.

- Maybe read her something from the good book.

- All right, man. I'll see you later.

- Good one.

One hour, to be exact, for the rehearsal.

Don't be late, Reverend.

[horn honks]

- Delaine?

Hope you don't mind. Your door was unlocked.

I'm Reverend Mack, the new minister in town.

- Oh, is that clown Peter with you?

- Nope, just me.

- Oh, thank God for small mercies.

Now, if you're expecting tea and lamingtons,

you can piss off.

- You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that.

- Hmm.

Well, have you got anything to say?

Oh, that's great. I'm blind, and you're mute.

[laughs] Gonna be a cracker of a day.

- Would you...

like me to read you a passage from the Bible?

- Tell you what.

Why don't we talk about you leaving?

You're worse than your predecessor.

God, man.

- Okay, well, it was very nice to meet you, Delaine.

- Well, it certainly made my day.

* *

[engine grinding]

Hey!

You're trying to nick my car,

there's something you should know. [laughs]

That battery's been dead for two years,

and I'm not gonna give you a push start.

Well, must say I suddenly find you

a whole lot more interesting.

* *

- Don't move. - Sorry. Sorry.

- No chop-chop.

All right.

Let me pose a hyper-theoretical for you, mate.

- What?

- Hyper-theoretical numero uno one:

we break both your arms.

- Why?

- Hyper-theoretical numero uno two:

we break both your legs. [dog whimpers]

Hyper-theoretical--

- Shut up.

Shut up, would ya?

They're not hypothetical questions, mate.

And "uno" means one, you gibbon.

Actually, define "hypothetical" for me please, Luke.

- Well...

it's kind of like a question posed

with a philosophy at its core.

- Okay, well, that's-- [clears throat]

You got a bit closer there than I thought you might.

That's fine, okay, but what we're doing here

is, we're making actual physical threats.

No philosophy necessary.

So unless he tells us where the rest of it is,

we're gonna break every bone in his body one by one.

No!

[keys rattle]

[upbeat music]

* *

- You drive.

- Oh, now it's a hypothetical, isn't it?

How are we gonna get the car on the beach?

Get him!

Dropkick.

* *

- Oh, jeez.

- You found my spot.

- Huh?

- I'm Amy.

- Hi, Amy.

- I offered to give you mouth-to-mouth

when you descended Clump into darkness.

- I--thank you for that. Yeah.

- Didn't take you long to piss off the only cop in town.

- Piper, right? - Ooh. First-name basis.

- Are you guys friends or something?

- I'm her best friend, and she hates me most of the time.

- Why is that?

- She went away for a few years to the city to become a cop,

and when she came back, it was just...

crap.

Jump in.

- Yeah.

Thank you.

- She used to be wild.

[bluesy rock music]

[static crackling]

- Hey, Dickhead Two. This is Dickhead One.

Is that you? Over.

Come in, Dickhead Two.

* *

Dickhead Two, how much josh have we made?

Have you sold it all yet? Over.

- Well, I hope for both of your sakes that he hasn't.

- [gasps]

And you can tell your weedy little friend

that I'm gonna turn both him and you into fish food

pretty soon if you don't sort something out.

Over.

* *

- Where in God's name have you been?

- Hey, Peter.

- Waiting.

- Hey, folks. How are you? I'm so sorry that I'm late.

- It's been an hour. - I know.

I was just--you know what? I'm here,

so let's just get on with it, yeah?

I mean, you know what they say.

A quick rehearsal is a good rehearsal.

- Yeah, no.

A thorough rehearsal is a good rehearsal.

- Yeah, 'cause we don't know where we're standing,

we don't know what we have to say,

and we have all of our friends and family coming tomorrow.

We'll look ridiculous.

- No. - Our last wedding video

has a crocodile gnawing on your predecessor.

- You got that on tape? - Yeah.

- Look, you're inside now, right?

So we're gonna work with that.

I'm gonna be standing up here,

and, Chad, you and your party,

you'll be standing on my right.

- I think it's the left. - Left.

- Left.

- Well, yeah, traditional wedding.

I mean, sure, if that's the way you wanna go, then yeah,

you'll be standing on my left.

And then picture this.

We've got the beautiful bride coming on down the aisle,

strutting her stuff.

Cue Peter on the organ.

[bright organ music]

- Gwenda is singing them in. It's in the notes.

- Oh, I just assumed you'd be accompanying her.

- Sweet Jesus, don't wish that on us.

No offense, Peter.

You sent us the notes.

You promised we were in safe hands.

- Oh, this is gonna be a complete cock-up.

- [sobbing] Oh, no!

- It's okay. - Oh, oh, oh.

- Darling, darling, come on.

- No, no, no.

We need to rehearse.

There are no crocs.

Crocodiles. Please!

- What's the matter with crocodiles?

- [sobbing] No!

- You are not getting married up here.

We are going to Surfers.

- I have been waiting for--

[light music]

* *

- Out you come.

- Hello.

- Pretty safe to assume this has something to do

with the stolen tobacco?

- Yeah--yeah, no, but we didn't steal it.

- Hmm?

Oh, so it just magically appeared in your office?

- Yeah. - Tell me about that.

- Well, Daisy found two boxes that washed up on the beach.

Look, these blokes who lost the boxes,

Rev, they're dangerous.

They're gonna kill us. The Jovics, they're bogans.

- Okay, great.

Whatever a bogan Jovic is,

they're clearly involved in things that you shouldn't be.

So give it back.

- Yeah, like that's gonna work.

These bogans, they really hurt people.

Like, badly.

- Don't know what you want me to do about it.

Maybe it's time for you to get on that plane to Paris.

- You got a spare passport

hidden somewhere that I can borrow?

* *

Come on, Cam.

* *

- All right.

Here's what you're gonna do.

Whatever tobacco you have, you're gonna take it back,

but you're gonna do it secretly, yeah?

Safely, so they get it, and they never see you.

Because you are staying out of their way.

You understand?

- Yep. - Yep.

- Good. Get out of here.

[dramatic music]

* *

- Oh, why is everything in this place so far apart?

* *

[engine grinding]

[engine revving]

[tires squealing]

- [laughs]

* *

[car door slams]

[line ringing]

- Hello. - Lew.

Did you get ahold of Paige?

- 100K.

- Oh, come on, man. 100 grand?

Are you kidding me? - It's a full identity, man.

Doesn't come cheap. - Jesus.

- We're talking passport that will pass airports,

birth certificate,

bank accounts that actually work.

- All right, I'll get it for you in two days, okay?

I know where this is asshole is.

I got a car that finally works. I'm headed to the Gold Coast.

- No, you're not. - I--no, I am, all right?

It's 20 hours straight through.

I can finally get this prick.

- Turn around.

- Did you not hear what I just said, Lew?

I can get to him and get the money.

- And then what?

The documents will take at least a week.

- So I'll go to ground.

- Listen to me. You are being hunted.

Lorenzo has people everywhere.

The whole world is connected now:

cameras everywhere, facial recognition.

Even your refrigerator listens in.

Everyone is watching you wherever you are.

- Tell that to the town that I just left.

They're stuck in 1982.

- Then turn the hell around and go back.

Stay in 1982.

- Lew, how am I supposed to pay 100 grand

if I can't go and get it?

- Forget Lorenzo's money. It was never yours.

Paulo, you are the most resourceful man I've ever met.

You could find a way to get 100K out of a lemonade stand.

- So I'm supposed to--

- And you're telling me you have a whole town.

You know I'm right.

Go back. Stay safe.

Don't call me again

until you find another way to get the money.

[line clicks]

* *

- Lewis.

It's been a long, long time, my friend.

- Lorenzo.

I thought you might come by.

- Farah says that you're still Paulo's cornerman.

I asked him to give us a moment,

see if we can't work this out,

just you and me...

for old times' sake.

- For old times' sake?

Might as well bring him in now.

* *

[engine turning over]

- Lester, I'm not wearing a suit and tie to the wedding.

I've never worn a tie.

You know that better than anyone.

- You look so handsome in a suit.

- Then bury me in a suit if you like,

but even then, no tie.

[fly buzzing] - [coughing]

Oh.

Lester, Victor,

something's rotten in the state of Queensland.

- Do you want the good news

or the slightly less than ideal news?

both: The bad news.

- Let's lead with the good.

You have a young couple very much in love,

and no one is dead.

- The bad news, Lester.

- The wedding food is ruined.

- What'd he say?

- Well, the power failure killed the fridge.

The seafood is...

tangy.

both: Tangy?

- Well, more salmonella than salmon.

- The silver lining is, we still have party pies

and some crisps.

And red wine doesn't need refrigeration.

- It's 32 bloody degrees.

No one will be drinking red wine!

- Well, it's not Lester's fault.

It's the new reverend taking out power.

- I'll kill him...

right after he marries them.

- And then I'll kill him again!

- This has to be the worst idea you've ever had.

- No, we need to finish this now.

- The Jovics will be here soon, and they'll finish us, Cam.

- No, just--let's give back what we have,

and then we'll--we can pay off the rest, right?

- No, we follow the rev's advice.

We drop it off, we stay in the manse,

and we just-- [car door slams]

* *

- All right, get out of here, both of you.

- You came back.

- I said get out.

- Why would you do that?

- I seriously have no idea.

So you two need to leave before I change my mind.

- Yep. Yep. - Now.

- Yep.

- Thanks. Thanks, boss.

* *

[bluesy rock music]

* *

[knock at door] - Hey, thanks for knocking.

Come on in.

You must be the two apostles.

It's Luke and James, right?

Which one's which?

Don't care.

Please, have a seat.

- Don't sit down, idiot.

Priest, mate, look, probably wanna clear off,

if you know what's good for you.

- Man, I really wish that I did,

but I can't have you guys

hurting a couple of kids over some cancer sticks.

Bad for business, so...

this can go one of two ways.

- Like a hyper-theoretical?

- Option A is that we all reach an agreement

and everybody walks away happy--well, ish--

but, most importantly, healthy, yeah?

- All right, and what's option B?

- [clicks tongue]

I'd stick to option A.

- Really? What about option C, mate?

[bluesy rock music]

- You need those to beat up a couple of teenagers, huh?

- Don't need them.

Just actually like the way they cut through flesh.

[shouts]

[objects clattering, people grunting]

- [exhales sharply] Daise. - They're killing him.

- Daisy. Daisy. Daisy.

- Come on. Come on.

- No. - Come on!

[clattering and grunting continue]

* *

- Daisy.

- Sorry about the mess, Cam.

- [groaning]

- Oh, hey, I got a wedding to do.

- The wedding party wanna kill you.

- Well, that just fits with the theme around here, doesn't it?

- You know the blackout spoiled the food.

- Hey, fellas,

before you go anywhere

and now that we've got the unpleasantries out of the way,

I have a favor to ask of you.

And in exchange, I have some information

that you can pass on to your mom.

* *

[gate creaks]

[whistles]

* *

- G'day, handsome.

So where do you want it, Priest?

Do you want it in the brains

or the balls, eh?

You see, I'm the only one who gets to beat up on my boys.

- Oh, I was thinking sister, but you must be their mother.

It's Agnes, right? - [laughs]

Now, don't try and sweet-talk me, Yankee boy.

Those days are gone.

Now, they're good boys, and you beat up on 'em bad.

- No, they're assholes, and they're bullies.

And if they come near me

or threaten one of the kids again...

They shouldn't.

- I'm sick of your flapping gums, Padre.

Don't think that collar's gonna stop me.

[gun cocking]

- Agnes, I've got a business proposition for you.

- [exhales heavily]

[phone beeps]

Marriage:

it is a serious undertaking made before God

and the witnesses here assembled.

It's a sacrament of love and commitment to--

- Are we ready? - Oh, hot, sweaty, lathered up,

and ready to play.

Sorry about that, Paulo.

My Zumba class is about to start.

Just copy everything I say. You're gonna be great, okay?

Love is patient. Love is kind.

Well, not really in my case. Oh, I'm loving the vibe here.

Am I gonna sing this with a little remix?

I think so. Here we go, baby, yeah.

* It does not envy, it does not boast *

* It is not proud *

* It is not rude *

- It is not rude.

It is not self-seeking.

It is not easily angered.

It keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil

but rejoices in the truth.

It always protects,

always trusts,

always hopes,

always perseveres.

- * Love never fails *

- Love never fails.

- What are we doing, ladies?

all: Zumba!

- What was that?

- Did he say Zumba?

- Chad...

Tassos...

Agathangelou...

[light music]

Do you take Charlotte...

Jennifer...

Roebuck...

to be your lawfully wedded wife

from this day forward so long as you both shall live?

- Hell yes.

Sorry, Rev. Yeah, big-time.

[dramatic music]

* *

- Cover, you guys.

Check that lot.

What have we got?

Two pairs. Lift that up.

- Sarge, this one. - Just here.

Take that tape.

[sighs]

You're kidding me.

Fish.

- Fish. - Oh, great.

[radio blips] - Talk to me, Piper.

Are you there?

- Yeah, boss.

- And?

- And someone tipped 'em off.

* *

[upbeat music]

* *

- Don't mind if I do.

Hey, brother. - Hey, sis.

- Everything else, as usual.

- There's nothing to do. - No.

- Have a drink.

* *

- Hey, bub.

- How was the raid?

- A disaster.

They knew I was coming.

How was the wedding?

- Ah, typical. Usual. Now no food.

- Hey, everybody, I was just wondering

if I could get your attention just for a minute.

- I'd piss off now, Reverend,

if you know what's good for you.

- Hey, look,

I really feel terrible about ruining the food,

and I was hoping that I could

remedy the situation before the reception.

- Bit late.

If you haven't noticed, we're all here.

- Yeah, I know,

and that's why I brought these guys along.

- What the hell did I miss?

- We have got some lobsters.

We've got oysters.

We've got eight barra... - Fish.

- Barra-fish.

And I hear a little rumor

that people around here like their beer cold.

[cheers and applause]

- So let's get out there, boys. Come on. Chop-chop.

- Light up the barbie, Harry.

- Already onto it!

* *

- Yay! Oh!

Come on through. Beer's in the back.

[light music]

* *

- You know you could be drinking champagne

on the Rue du Faubourg, cruising down la Seine.

- Oh, yeah, I know.

And for some reason, here I am at the end of the world,

sweating my balls off, slapping mosquitoes,

and fighting off--

what'd you call 'em, bogans?

- Yeah, bogans.

Still, get to talk to me.

- Supposed to make me feel better?

Anyway, you can keep the room.

- I already unpacked.

- [chuckles]

Course you did.

Don't get too comfortable, kid.