Original subtitles

One is not born a woman, one becomes one.

I believe in you.

I know you can do this.

You've got this.

We can do this.

Show them how tight and fresh you are!

Let's do it, Poochy!

Ma'am Ena,

we can start rolling when you're ready.

Yes, I'm ready!

Hi madam!

I'm Mel, your new assistant.

You ready?

Hi Mel!

Yeah, you can tell them I'm ready.

- Okay madam, I'll hold that for you. - Oh it's fine.

You've got your hands full.

I can handle this.

Hi!

The weather has been so hot lately!

Global warming, madam.

It'll be a while before the rains come.

Weather's been hell in the Philippines.

Agreed, madam.

Shout your womanhood!

Shout! Shout! Shout!

Sanitary napkins!

Cut! Wonderful! I like it! That was beautiful!

Perfect, Ena!

Thank you!

I ordered food for you guys.

Thank you, Ena!

- Let's break for lunch. - We have a photo shoot scheduled

on Friday, madam.

Oh! You know what, Mel?

You're so efficient. I like you!

Director, can I keep Mel for good?

- He's so quick! - Sure, of course!

Madam, I'm a "she".

You're a She?

So...

I thought you were Mel?

She like... Sheila?

I mean, I'm Mel too... but I'm also a "she".

- Oh, so it's Shemel! - She!

Anyway, I'll see you next shoot, okay?

Okay, madam. I also use they/them.

Madam, I use "she"!

Madam?

I'm coming, baby...

Okay. Yes, I'm coming too...

I'm coming...

So?

Did you like it?

Well, I feel like...

Poochy wasn't as tight as before.

Maybe because of stress?

I don't know.

Don't listen to him, Poochy.

You're tight.

You're fresh.

You are enough.

Tight?

You're already tight.

Doc,

I want it tighter.

Make it even more tight.

Uh, okay.

But you need to relax, dear.

So I can insert the tool.

You're still too tense.

Here it comes...

Ena, you're still tense.

I need you to open up.

Okay, fine.

Doc,

my boyfriend said that I wasn't that tight anymore.

I'm afraid he'll start looking for someone new.

Someone younger,

fresher, tighter.

Maybe I still have abandonment issues

because my dad left when I was really small, but...

No, I meant open up.

As in don't clench!

I can't insert the device.

Oh, open up!

Okay, I'm sorry.

I got it.

You want me to...

- relax you? - Um...

Um...

Okay, okay...

♪ I saw three ducks the other day ♪

♪ A fat one, a thin one ♪

♪ then another passed by ♪

- ♪ But this one only had a single wing ♪ - ♪ But this one only had a single wing ♪

♪ That was the leader that went quack, quack! ♪

♪ Quack, quack, quack! ♪

- ♪ Quack, quack, quack! ♪ - ♪ Quack, quack, quack! ♪

♪ That was the leader that went quack, quack! ♪

- ♪ Quack, quack, quack! ♪ - ♪ Quack, quack, quack! ♪

♪ That was the leader that went quack, quack! ♪

♪ Quack, quack, quack! ♪

Why does this

gender reveal party have to be so far?

Oh, relax baby...

I'm tighter now.

Really?

Okay then...

Will you let me check?

Of course.

Like this.

I'll put it in, baby.

Wow!

- Baby, Poochy is tighter! - See? Look how she's tighter.

I promise you, Poochy will only get tighter and tighter.

Baby, wait. Let me freshen Poochy up first.

Okay, baby. I'll fill up the car.

Sir, full tank.

Lord, it's hot!

Hi!

Hi! Um...

Sorry, this restroom is for women, right?

Yes. For women.

So, why are you here?

Putting on make-up because I'm late to a costume party.

- But this is for women, right? - Yes, it's for women.

- So why are you here? - Like I said, I'm getting ready

- for a costume party. - But why-

You know, we're just going around in circles.

Because you keep asking the same thing.

Because you're not a woman.

What?

Excuse me!

Sorry, but...

you're not

a woman.

Sorry, sis, but,

I am a woman.

Not just a woman,

but a goddess.

Well, I'm not comfortable having you here

and I really need to pee.

That's what cubicles are for.

Sit, close the door,

and pee in private.

I'm not comfortable having a man around while I pee.

A man?

- What man? - I mean you!

You're a man!

What if you want to rape me?

Really?

Look at me.

Look at me.

There is no world

where these wings

are interested in that pussy.

Fine!

I'll just wait for you to finish, then.

Oh? This'll take a while.

You might rupture your bladder.

Oh, it's so hot!

How long will that take?

This will take a while! Go pee in there!

[groans]

You know, you're violating me!

Violating?

I'm just putting on make-up here.

But I really can't pee like this!

Psst!

Psst!

See? I even helped you.

So hot!

Geez!

This is the first time I went with a man in the restroom.

Sister, I am not a man.

You are a man!

Guard!

Wait, wait...

- Fine, I'm leaving, see? - Guard!

I'm leaving!

But remember this...

In the name of all that is gay,

and each and every chick

with a dick.

I curse you!

I curse you!

What's happening here?

Chief! This man is in here.

This restroom only for women, right?

Madam,

as you can see,

this woman is not a man.

She may not be a biological woman,

but she identifies as a woman.

In this gasoline station,

we've been educated on SOGIE,

Sexual Orientation,

Gender Identification,

and Expression.

- Meaning... - Chief!

Chief, it's okay.

Thank you.

I curse you...

I curse you...

You will lose your...

Oh, baby.

What took you so long?

Was there a queue for the restroom?

Babe, there was...

You know what?

Never mind.

Let's just go.

Welcome to the party

to end all gender reveal parties!

The gender reveal party of Boyet and Girly...

This is it, everybody!

Is it a boy, or is it a girl?

- Babe, are you okay? - Why was it red?

Okay, we're not giving up!

One more time! Another one!

It should be blue, if it's a boy,

- pink for a girl. - Baby, bathroom break.

Who organized this?

Three, two, one, and go!

Yellow orange?

What's happening?

It's like the baby doesn't want us to know.

Babies these days...

It's a totally different generation.

We won't give up. Let's try again! Again!

Three, two, one, go!

Congratulations! It's a...

Baby...

Robert... Babe...

Good morning...

Baby.

- Morning. - Good morning.

Remember what you did last night?

What happened?

You were a naughty girl.

You couldn't wait until we got home.

You said we'd continue in the morning.

Oh, baby...

Okay, baby.

What the hell!

Baby, what happened?

Baby, why is it gone?

What? What's gone?

- Poochy! It's gone! - What?

Oh my god...

Don't panic.

Your pussy is still there.

What happened, doc?

It's called labial fusion.

It's a medical condition where the small inner lips

around the entrance of your vagina

are joined together.

But doc, how does that happen?

Infection,

stress, trauma, and similar stuff.

You're probably super tense.

It could also be the weather. And this heat.

It's just short of a heatwave, the body just-

Doc?

What are my treatment options?

You need to be calm, dear.

♪ Butterfly flower tree, ♪

♪ golden beetle. ♪

♪ Butterfly flower tree, ♪

♪ golden beetle, ♪

♪ June beetle. ♪

♪ The woman on the street ♪

♪ Struts like a rooster ♪

You see?

- It's opening! - Good job! Good job!

♪ Leron, Leron, my dear ♪

♪ Eyeing a young papaya ♪

♪ carrying his basket ♪

♪ a cradle for his fruit ♪

♪ And when he reached the top ♪

♪ a branch broke off ♪

♪ all out of luck ♪

♪ he just gave up ♪

- Okay, just keep singing... - ♪ Pen pen from Sarapen ♪

♪ got a knife from the armory ♪

♪ How how says the carabao ♪

♪ who's a bit stinky ♪

♪ Tongs that like pinching ♪

♪ Gold and silver by the sea ♪

♪ there's blooming ♪

♪ There goes the crab ♪

♪ by the sea ♪

♪ wide and yummy but quite hard ♪

♪ to catch... ♪

Babe,

want to try again?

Come on babe, sing to her again.

Robert, let's try-

I don't want to sing nursery rhymes anymore!

Shout your womanho-

Cut!

Ena, a little conviction please!

- Copy. - Take 12!

And... action!

Shout your woman-

- Cut! - Direk...

Ena!

Fix your delivery!

It's horrible! Say it again.

- Shout! Your womanhood- - Cut!

- Again! - Shout your-

Cut! I haven't started rolling

or said "action"!

Roll it! And... action!

Shout your-

Womanhood!

Womanhood is what should shout, not me!

- Sorry. Yes. - Shout! Shout! Shout!

Womanhood!

I said womanhood, damn it!

- Womanhood! - I'm sorry!

- Shout, shout! - Madam, are you okay?

How am I gonna shout my womanhood if I don't feel it, Mel?

You don't need to shout it.

You can always whisper...

You can do this, madam.

Believe in yourself.

Womanhood is in the heart.

You got this.

Okay?

Shout your womanhood.

Yes madam.

Shout

your womanhood.

Correct! Yes!

Wait, why are you here? Isn't this the ladies' room?

It's unisex, madam.

Shout your wo-

Can you just tell the director that I'm ready?

Okay, sure...

Director!

Shout

your womanhood!

Babe!

Poochy is back!

- You really want to do this here? - Yes please.

Poochy might disappear again.

Oh, that's good...

Yes, baby.

Shit!

Oh yes!

You're so tight, Brenda!

What?

Who's Brenda?

What? I mean, Brenda-

I mean, Ena, Ena!

Shit!

Baby.

- Get up. - No! First, tell me who Brenda is!

Baby!

I have my own needs, okay?

Ena, it's so tight. It's hurting me.

You're not the only one getting hurt here!

How dare you!

But it's okay. It's fine.

I can forgive you.

It was just a one-night thing, right?

Right?

Two nights.

It's okay.

Still forgiven!

Three times?

Fine. It's okay, it's okay...

Okay, fine. Four, five, six...

I can't remember. I'm so sorry, Ena.

I'm so sorry.

Still forgiven! It's okay!

I can still forgive you.

No, Ena, the problem is...

I think I'm in love with her.

What?

It's okay... it's okay...

Still forgiven.

It's okay!

I'm not asking for forgiveness.

I'm asking you to...

- Ouch! - To let me go!

You're strangling my dick! Let me go.

- Let go. Stand up. - We can still work this out.

- Come on, please! - No, no!

Please, you can love me again!

Please, I promise, I-

How can I love a woman whose vagina keeps disappearing?

Ena... please... just-

Ena, please just let me go! You need to stand up now.

- I can't! - What do you mean you can't?

I can't pull it out!

On three, okay?

- Okay. - One... Two... Three...

[groaning]

Ouch!

Son of a bitch!

Oh my god, we're stuck!

Shit!

Madam?

They're ready for you!

Madam?

Mel, we need help.

Stop moving!

Ouch!

Please get help!

Madam Ena, I need you to relax, okay?

So you can loosen up.

Why don't you try dousing them with saltwater?

Ouch! Ouch!

Ena, control it!

I can't control it, okay?

Just like how you can't control your dick!

Ena!

- [groaning] - Ah!

Can you both stand?

- [groans] - We can't!

No, it's too painful.

Madam, I think you need to calm down.

Calm down...

Ena... Ena...

♪ If you're happy and you know it, ♪

♪ have a laugh! Ha, ha, ha! ♪

♪ If you're happy and you know it, ♪

♪ have a laugh! Ha, ha, ha! ♪

I am not happy!

♪ If you're happy and you know it, ♪

♪ then your life will really show it ♪

♪ If you're happy and you know it, have a laugh! ♪

♪ Ha, ha, ha! ♪

Guys, it's working!

- You heard him. Again! - No, stop!

♪ If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! ♪

♪ If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! ♪

♪ If you're happy and you know it, ♪

♪ then your life will really show it ♪

♪ If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! ♪

Oh my god!

Oh thank god, finally!

[groaning] Oh god!

- [murmuring] - Thank god, it's out!

Nice!

Sir, are you okay?

Let him through.

- Madam. - Thank you, thank you...

Mel, stay with me...

Yes, madam.

The shoot has been packed up.

They'll let us know when we're needed.

I just lost Robert.

And now I might lose my job too,

just because Poochy keeps on disappearing.

See?

Oh my god...

- Mel! - Madam!

What happened?

I don't know....

Is it possible you got hexed?

Or cursed?

- Hey, you... - Oh, hello, hello!

It's you...

Damn, why don't they fix the lights?

Wait. Did you...

Did you put a curse on me?

Are you a witch?

Excuse me?

Do I look like a witch?

Look at me...

I'm a fairy!

Please just give me back my Poochy! Please!

Poochy?

What am I, a dognapper?

Now I'm a thief?

I'm late for the party.

Bye!

- Wait, please! - Bye Poochy!

- Oh! Hi, chief! - Hi!

Bye, Poochy!

Are you alright?

Do I look okay to you?

I'm not okay.

And I don't think I'll ever be okay.

I lost my boyfriend, I lost my job,

I lost my dignity, and I lost my-

Poochy?

How do you...

I'm Nova.

NovaGina.

And I'm responsible for your Poochy's disappearance.

Wait.

NovaGina?

- What the f- - You want your Poochy back?

Take this flower.

You need to find someone

who will love you despite not having a vagina,

and do it before all the petals fall,

otherwise...

You

will never get

your Poochy back.

Only true love

will get your Poochy back...

Okay?

A love for 'keps'.

Bye!

Is this all true, madam?

Are you sure you weren't dreaming?

If only it was!

I don't know, Mel.

Maybe it was my imagination.

I don't know anymore.

Madam, if you don't have a vagina,

how do you pee?

I don't know, Mel.

I haven't even gone lately.

How about your menstruation?

I don't know. I haven't been-

Oh my god!

Mother of god!

What's happening?

My god madam, your nose is bleeding.

Oh my god!

Let me see.

Looks like it's gone.

Please throw this. Thank you.

- My god, Mel. - Madam.

Mel, I really need to find my true love...

La vie est une fleur dont l'amour est le miel.

What does that mean?

Victor Hugo,

French poet.

"Life is a flower"

"in which love"

"is the honey".

Don't worry madam, I got you.

Swipe left and right.

Hi! Greg?

From Tinnder?

Yes.

Greg, let me be frank with you.

I don't like small talk.

Actually, I love deep talks.

Greg, how fast can you love me?

Can you love me in a week?

Five days? Three days? Two days?

How about today?

Can you love me now?

Don't ask that on the first date.

I'm running out of petals.

I don't want to waste my time, if they aren't serious.

There are still lots of petals, madam.

Also, love takes time.

So, Ena,

what's your favorite color?

I'm not into small talk, Hector.

I actually want to know you on a deeper level.

Okay.

So... My place, or yours?

Hector?

I have to show you something.

- Okay. - Promise me you won't be scared, okay?

Of course.

- Promise? - Of course. I swear.

Okay, are you ready?

I should...

Hector...

- Um... - Freak.

But Madam, you don't have to reveal straight away

that you don't have a vagina.

They'll find out eventually.

And besides, you know what?

Guys just want sex.

How will they love me if I can't pleasure them?

Well,

you do have other holes...

But Mel, I have no experience with anal sex.

I meant your mouth, madam.

Oh yeah...

Yeah...

So, are you game for more?

Hmm?

Sorry, that's off limits for now remember?

That's all I can do for now.

But that's too boring.

Let me see your vagina.

Uh...

Sorry, it's really off limits.

Just enjoy it, okay?

Ouch!

You're gay, aren't you?

Excuse me! Do I look like I'm gay?

Take off your panties, and let me see it!

What the hell?

Shit!

Freak!

What the hell?

Hey, hey!

Wait, wait!

Ouch!

Shit.

Shit!

- Hey! - Shit! Shit!

Wait!

What is that?

- Okay. - Please come in.

Hi, I'm here. Come inside.

Choose a comfortable seat for yourself.

- Hi... - Hey.

There are more chairs over here if you want to sit down.

You're more beautiful in person!

Thank you.

Madam?

Doesn't this seem like a bit much?

I swiped right on everyone I saw.

- To get it over in one go. - Madam, are you bisexual?

No!

Just desperate.

Hello everyone!

I'm Ena.

Welcome to my humble abode.

I hope you don't mind that I asked you all to come

in person to save time.

You saw how I looked in my profile pictures.

So if you don't like what you're seeing now, then...

you may go.

What a waste of time.

Oh...

I'm out.

Wow,

the ugly ones had the nerve to be choosy, okay...

Um... I'm just a woman, standing in front of you,

looking for someone to love me unconditionally.

Too dramatic.

I'm out.

Okay...

- I'm twenty-seven years old. - Oops.

That's a shame, Miss Ena...

I only date twenty-five and below.

Ah wow,

we have a Leonardo DiCaprio here...

Okay...

I'm also a Pisces.

I'm an Aries. We're incompatible.

What else... I don't like kids.

I want lots of kids.

I like to dine out because I can't cook.

But I have other skills.

I'm not great at household chores.

I want a great housewife.

And uhm...

Most of all...

I want to tell you guys that...

What are you doing?

Guys...

I don't have a vagina.

What is that?

Why is it like that?

I'm out!

Uh, sorry!

Too bad, she was pretty...

Well, at least we saved time.

Madam, there are still plenty of men out there...

That was likely most of them...

I knew it,

there's always someone meant to love-

Oh no, no,

I just left my phone. There it is.

It's just important.

Oh, okay.

Weirdo.

This is so exhausting, Mel.

Maybe you just need to rest, Madam.

I didn't know it would be this hard

to find love without a vagina.

Does this mean,

everyone that loved me just wanted me for my Poochy?

I have so much to offer, Mel.

I'm beautiful! I'm smart! I'm funny!

Let's just watch some TV, madam.

Well at least I'm still a commercial model.

Be a confident woman!

Shout, shout, shout! Your womanhood!

Robert's gone.

Career's down the drain too.

Nobody wants me because

I don't have a freaking vagina!

No one is going to love me.

Madam, I don't have a vagina,

but I'm happy.

Do you have a boyfriend?

No, I don't.

See?

You will never understand because you're gay.

Not a real woman.

Madam, I am a woman.

I'm a transwoman.

Transwomen are women, madam.

You're not a woman because you don't have a vagina.

Well, you don't have a vagina.

Does that mean you're not a woman?

Why are you so angry at transwomen?

What have we ever done to you?

Have you experienced the pain,

the struggles of being a woman?

You haven't!

Because you were born male.

You can't just wake up one day,

and decide that you're a woman

and take away our womanhood!

Nobody is taking anything away.

Womanhood is for everyone.

We're all in this together.

I'm not the enemy. We're not the enemy.

We're allies.

On that note,

I have to go.

I have to be somewhere important.

Au revoir!

Hi, is Ena here?

The door was open so I walked in.

I'm Dick from Tinnder.

What did you leave behind?

What?

Phone? Keys?

Just look over there.

Actually, I just got here.

Sorry for being late.

Dick...

Honestly,

I'm really tired.

You won't love me anyway.

I'm not what you need.

Try me.

Okay.

I don't want kids.

Okay.

Nor do I.

I can't cook.

We can just order food.

I'm a Pisces.

And I'm Taurus.

A match.

Dick, I don't have a...

Dinner?

Tomorrow night?

This is for you.

- Wow, thanks! - You're welcome.

Take a seat.

You look stunning.

Thank you.

Dick?

Can I be frank with you?

I'm not looking for something casual.

I don't want to date around just for you to disappear.

Why would I disappear?

Because men always do.

Yeah! Guys like you,

when they find out that there's something...

missing...

They walk out on me.

We're all looking for something.

It's for us to find someone who will complete that missing piece.

That someone to fill that hole of emptiness.

I don't have a hole...

to fill.

We're not perfect.

We all have cracks.

That's where the light enters.

What if I don't have a crack?

Where would the light enter?

Then I'll help you

find your crack.

I don't think I'll ever find Poochy again.

Have you tried checking

the city pound?

Offer a reward to whoever finds her?

I wish it were that simple.

Maybe just

buy another cat.

Poochy was different.

She's...

irreplaceable.

Do you have a picture of Poochy?

Can I see her?

I do. But I'm not really sure I'm ready to show you.

What type of cat is Poochy?

Is she a special breed?

No.

She's a Filipina.

Oh!

Is she furry?

Yes.

But I always have her groomed.

Actually, she's a bit spoiled. I love her very much.

And I never expected I'd lose her.

It's like that sometimes.

You don't know what they mean to you until you've lost them.

Trust me,

I've been there.

I've lost something important too.

So if you have something that's precious to you,

never let them go.

Wait, wait...

No. Wait, wait...

What's wrong?

- Don't you want me? - No, no, it's not that.

See?

It wants you.

This is more important.

This isn't just about sex.

And I think that we're heading to something

even more special.

Oh, okay. Careful.

There.

This is pretty,

but it's wilting.

It's been really hot lately.

Uh... Dick?

Yeah?

When can I go see your place?

It's okay. No pressure. I was just curious.

- Never mind. - No, uhm...

One of these days, okay?

Just promise me one thing.

If you see something that you don't like at my condo,

you won't run.

I won't.

I promise.

I'm the one people run from.

Let's eat.

Let's eat.

Don't expect so much, okay?

It's a mess in here.

It doesn't look messy.

Well, I did some cleaning earlier.

Mhm...

Dick, you know I'm starting to fall-

Ena, wait...

What?

I knew it...

Knew what?

You're not taking this seriously.

I told you, I don't want a fling.

I don't want a hook-up.

Dick?

Didn't I tell you what my deal is?

Fine!

Look.

I don't have a vagina, okay?

Ena.

I want to show you something...

I don't have a dick, too!

Ena? Wait!

You know, I met a guy named Dick.

And I think I love him.

And I think he loves me, too.

Perfect, madam!

So, what's the problem?

Dick has no dick.

He doesn't have a penis!

What kind of man doesn't have a dick?

A freak!

Oh my god, Mel!

I've become one of the guys who rejected me.

I want to see my Dick!

I love my Dick!

I want Dick!

Dick! Dick!

Dick?

Dick?

Dick!

I need you!

Dick, I'm sorry please...

Dick, I need you!

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

- Dick! - Ena?

- Dick! I'm so sorry I ran off... - Shh...

No need to explain. Okay?

Wait, wait...

There's one more thing I want to show you...

A fairy gave this to me, inside a men's room.

Right after I offended a transman.

So what do we do now?

How do we break the spell?

Through love.

How? We don't even have our-

It's never been about our reproductive organs, Ena.

It's not my dick,

or your vagina.

You know, I never thought I'd find you, Dick.

We were meant to meet each other, Ena.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Ena!

It's back!

- Oh my gosh! - It's back!

And it's big!

Thank you.

Just wait. Hang in there.

Trust me.

You'll see Poochy again.

Well...

I guess I won't be needing this anymore.

I had it made special.

I usually wear this when I...

feel insecure about my manhood.

Does it make you feel like you can shout your manhood?

Shout!

Your womanhood!

And cut! Perfect, Ena,

that's how you shout your womanhood!

- You're back! Welcome back! - Thank you, Director!

Let's give a round of applause for Ena!

It's a wrap! It's a wrap!

We can go home now. Everyone pack up!

Director, thank you!

And I'm so glad you convinced the bosses-

Speaking of convincing...

Have the bosses spoken to you about the nude shoot?

What do you mean-

Nude?

They haven't said anything.

You haven't been told?

You haven't told her?

I'll tell her now if you don't mind...

The concept for our next shoot

needs you to be naked.

We won't be faking it.

There won't be effects, right?

You're going to bare your womanhood.

Don't worry!

I assure you, it will be done artistically

and we're getting the best art director

and cinematographer for the project.

You're not just going to shout your womanhood,

you will bare it!

Dick?

Dick, you won't believe this!

I'm so stressed, I came from work,

and they want to shoot me naked!

How am I supposed to do that?

Uh...

Who is she?

Ena...

- I can explain. - Explain what?

How dare you!

I got you your dick, and I can take it back!

I don't love you anymore!

Ena, please, I love you.

I really do.

I just-

I just-

I just love Manilyn more.

She's my ex-fiancee.

We were about to get married, but...

I tried to forget her.

I tried loving you more.

But...

I just can't.

Please,

- don't take my dick away- - Don't touch me!

Wasn't it you who told me

that we never needed our reproductive organs?

Go ahead,

try and love each other without your dick!

Ena,

- I'm begging you... - Dick.

It's okay.

I don't care if it comes back, or not.

And I'm sorry about leaving you back when it disappeared.

But I'm back now.

Seriously?

He has no dick!

Yes.

What?

I don't understand this!

You'll end up looking for someone else!

I love you, Dick.

With, or without your dick.

♪ If you’re happy and you know it, laugh it out ♪

♪ If you’re happy and you know it, laugh it out ♪

♪ If you're happy now, with someone new somehow, ♪

♪ While I'm still right here, still holding out. ♪

♪ Forgive me now, I'm still the fool somehow ♪

♪ Still waiting that you’d choose me ♪

♪ Will this still... ♪

Please, please... Just a little more time...

Come on, come on...

♪ My heart is spinning, ♪

- ♪ torn in two. ♪ - Please. Come on.

♪ Sometimes you do, sometimes you won’t... ♪

Bonjour!

Hi, Madam!

Mel, everything's gone.

Poochy's not coming back.

Dick also left me.

Nobody's going to love me.

Madam-

You aren't going to leave me, are you?

I'm having my going-away slash birthday party on Tuesday.

I wanted to invite you.

It's your birthday?

And you're leaving?

Yes, madam.

I'm going to study in Paris.

I got a scholarship grant

and have been busy these past few days.

That explains why you always speak French.

Exactly, madam.

But I'm sure my replacement will be even better than I was.

♪ If you’re happy and you know it, laugh it out ♪

♪ If you’re happy and you know it, laugh it out ♪

You're a beautiful woman.

♪ If you're happy now, with someone new somehow, ♪

♪ While I'm still right here, hoping ♪

♪ for nothing. ♪

You're beautiful-

♪ If you're happy now, with someone new somehow, ♪

♪ I'll embrace the truth you're no longer mine. ♪

Hi madam! I just wanted to remind you about the party later!

I hope you can come!

- Madam! Oh my god! - Mel!

Madam, you're here!

Of course! You are a beautiful woman.

Of course!

I know, right?

You're a beautiful woman too, madam.

Oh Mel, I don't even know if I'm still a woman.

Madam...

It's my birthday and going-away party tonight.

Can you wish me well first?

- Kidding. - Of course!

Happy birthday.

Take care of yourself in France.

Yes!

Yes!

Come on, let's dance!

Hey there! Let's dance! Come on!

It's okay, I'll just go get some water.

[people chattering, music blasting]

Ena!

Ena!

Hi!

Hey!

Who are you?

Wait, I need to pee!

Hey! You can't do that! What's wrong with you?

The world is your comfort room, Ena!

Who even are you?

Don't you recognize me?

No.

I'm Poochy!

Poochy?

Let me remind you.

What you did to me, when you were 18 years old...

- The cucumber that you... - Hey! Wait! Shut up!

Shut up! Okay! Okay! I believe you!

You're Poochy! Just...

Shut up!

Did you miss me?

Ena, wait! Where are you going? Oh!

Ena, help!

Why? Where were you when I needed you the most?

Didn't you disappear?

I'm already here, can't you see?

It's not like we're strangers.

Remember, when we were kids...

All the things we went through together?

All the guys, from your first boyfriend,

- up to Robert! - Shut up!

Why come back now

after I've already lost everything!

I don't need you anymore, Poochy!

But I need you.

Help me, Ena!

I'm the one who needs your help now!

Please?

Damn it, Poochy!

What?

Are you going to stay for good, or are you going to leave me again?

Why do you even need me?

Because I am you.

And you're me, Poochy!

I'm not complete without you!

And ever since you disappeared, my womanhood disappeared too!

Ugh, come on.

Ena.

I am not you.

You are not me.

I'm just part of your body.

- I'm just a vagina. - Poochy.

I am a woman because of you.

You are my source of-- Ouch!

- Ouch! - Finally got my revenge.

I've turned into a mascot and all, yet you haven't learned anything?

So, Ena?

Like what Simone de Beauvoir said...

"One is not born, but rather becomes a woman."

And, Ena!

You are becoming a woman!

Becoming a woman?

- How? I don't have... - How about another slap?

You still don't get it, huh?

♪ The flower closes, ♪

♪ the flower blooms. ♪

♪ The queen will enter, ♪

♪ swaying her hips ♪

♪ Boom ti-ya-ya, boom ti-ya-ya. Boom ye-ye ♪

♪ Boom ti-ya-ya, boom ti-ya-ya. Boom ye-ye ♪

♪ The flower closes, ♪

♪ the flower blooms. ♪

♪ The queen will enter, ♪

♪ swaying her hips ♪

♪ Boom ti-ya-ya, boom ti-ya-ya. Boom ye-ye ♪

Poochy.

Will you still be here when I wake up?

Didn't I tell you? I never left you.

Ena.

You're tight.

You're fresh.

You're enough.

- Okay? - Good night, Poochy.

Good night, Ena.

Poochy?

Poochy?

Poochy?

Poochy?

Madam...

Yes, come in.

- Hi, madam! - Hi!

I'm Lyka, your new assistant.

I'll be replacing Mel.

Nice to meet you, Lyka.

Are you ready to shoot, madam?

Yes, you can tell them I'm ready.

Love that!

- Okay, Ena, let's do this. - Yes, Director.

I'm ready to bare my womanhood.

Okay everyone, let's roll this.

Lights...

Camera...

Action!

Bare yourself.

Bare your womanhood!

♪ I saw three ducks the other day ♪

♪ A fat one, a thin one ♪

- ♪ But this one only had a single wing ♪ - ♪ But this one only had a single wing ♪

♪ That was the leader that went quack, quack! ♪

♪ Quack, quack, quack! ♪ ♪ Boom ti-ya-ya, boom ti-ya-ya, boom ye-ye ♪

♪ Quack, quack, quack! ♪ ♪ Boom ti-ya-ya, boom ti-ya-ya, boom ye-ye ♪

♪ Quack, quack, quack! ♪ ♪ Boom ti-ya-ya, boom ti-ya-ya, boom ye-ye ♪

♪ That was the leader that went quack, quack! ♪

♪ If you're happy and you know it, ♪

♪ Butterfly flower tree, ♪

♪ golden beetle. ♪

♪ June beetle. ♪ ♪ ...a beautiful nose. ♪

♪ Boom ti-ya-ya, boom ti-ya-ya ♪ ♪ Butterfly flower tree, ♪

♪ Boom ti-ya-ya, boom ti-ya-ya ♪ ♪ Pen pen de sarapen ♪

"Kung Ikaw Ay Masaya" Sung by: dwta