Original subtitles

This is it!

This is how we die!

I... I don't think we can die here.

Tell it to that motherfucker.

Grid, deploy the pod.

Vic, you're falling apart.

No.

I'm holding us together.

How long has this been a thing?

Roughly 24 hours.

I upgraded.

So, technically, we're inside you?

Look, let's focus on getting the hell out of here.

Yeah, I don't know about that.

I'm with Larry. What's the point of going back

so Immortus can finish putting her foot up our ass?

Or so the Butts can take a bite out of it?

We don't have our longevity.

We're old, useless.

Expired milk.

We're not safe here.

And the people back home aren't safe

so long as Immortus and those Butts are running wild.

- Say it. - Of course you wanna go back.

You're not dying. And you've got a shiny new body to play with.

Yeah, I bet you can't wait...

- to get back so you can pull... - Say it.

Shut up! Shut the fuck up!

Are you okay?

Sorry.

How's Rita doing?

Wait, what about Rita?

She's the reason we went after Immortus in the first place.

Rita's dying.

Then why are we even arguing?

No, Keeg. Keeg, don't.

What the fuck!

Has your glow worm lost its mind?

I don't know.

Keeg, are you nuts?

- What did you do out there? - Keeg has discovered

a series of portals within the time stream.

- Who the hell is talking? - That's Grid.

My operating system.

Usually, I'm the only one that can hear it,

but Keeg must have hacked into it.

You have a voice...

in your head...

that talks to you.

Fuck it. That's not even the strangest thing about him.

Keeg says there's longevity located on the other side of these three portals.

The longevity skin tag?

As in, Immortus is waiting on the other side to put the boot to us?

No Immortus, just longevity.

Keeg can sense it.

Hey, Vic,

does your new gear come with a bullshit detector?

Because mine is off the charts.

It's not bullshit.

The longevity was a part of Keeg's entire life.

He knows what it feels like.

What are we supposed to do? Hurl our asses through time

based on what your kid's telling us?

Isn't that how you lost your longevity in the first place?

His heart was in the right place.

And you should know that everyone deserves second and third chances.

Boo.

What if we get chomped on by a T. rex. and wind up dinosaur poop?

Or we end up in a future where robots have taken over?

That actually sounds pretty sweet.

I have a fix for that.

Ew.

- Gross. - Okay, wow.

It's part of the new me.

Okay, here.

Each knuckle has Grid tech in it.

I can control it and recall it whenever I need to.

So, you've all got one hour.

Get in, find the longevity,

and then I'll yank you back here.

Just to review.

We're leaping into this dumb plan

based on super spotty information,

armed with nothing but our wits,

my good looks, and Vic's creepy robotic knuckles.

Pretty much, yeah.

I don't know if I can do this.

Here, here. Hold my mitt.

That is so gross.

What? My mitt's not good enough,

but you'll grab on to a used maxi pad wrapped in a trench coat?

Aim for the portals.

Push off hard.

Give yourself some momentum.

Grid, send out an SOS.

Any and all frequencies.

We're gonna broadcast the message

into every damn portal in this time stream,

until someone on the other side answers.

The Ant Farm?

Really?

Fuck me.

My, my, my.

Fuck me sideways.

Wow. This is the most exciting place we could end up?

At least we know where we are.

Yeah, and when, ish.

I think it was '96 when Niles lied to Cliff about his family dying.

He went in there and stared out the window until '04.

We could tell him Clara's alive.

Except we only have an hour to save Rita, and maybe the world.

Right.

Shit.

Chief is here.

That means we're gonna have to get the longevity from him.

Look, the good news is, Niles has seen it all.

And I bet we're not even the first time travelers he's ever met.

Right. So, we just stroll up to him,

explain we come from a bleak future,

and...

politely ask him to hand over

the one thing he holds more sacred than any other possession.

I guess.

Hey, hey! Where are you going?

Un-fucking-real.

Okay.

Tell me, barkeep.

You ever had your heart shat upon by a horse?

Kipling.

I've got it.

Then we should celebrate.

To immortality and heartbreak.

You're drunk.

Absolutely ossified, yeah.

Von Fuchs' men are right behind me.

We need an exit strategy.

You're the exit strategy.

Better get you out of here, then.

First...

I need to hit the head.

Wait...

Just hurry.

No.

This can't be.

You can't be.

Let me guess.

You got some sketches of me somewhere, right?

Bad idea?

Until you come up with a good idea?

This isn't possible.

I'm possible, jerk-off.

You create me and ruin a bunch of other lives with your experiments.

- I wouldn't. - No.

Don't bullshit a bullshitter.

We both know what you're capable of when you get desperate enough.

Will you quit speaking as if you know me?

But I do.

I mean, I will.

In the future.

Crazy, right?

Like I said, a few decades from now, you create me.

Part of the recipe is some of that necklace you stole.

And now, my clock is running out,

and I need some more of that necklace.

It's a skin tag, by the way.

So, wear it in good health.

You have no idea what I've done to get it

or you wouldn't be asking me for it.

You owe me!

No. Cliff, Cliffy.

De-escalate.

Look, I know you think

you need that necklace to live one day longer than Dorothy.

Dorothy.

Yeah, but here's the kicker.

You still croak before her and the kid's better off without you.

She's got friends. And she's even growing up now.

I mean, if I had time,

we could do a deep dive into your parenting style.

You're gonna come at me with a knife? Are you high?

Who sent you? Von Fuchs?

The Brain?

Right, who's ready to vacate this shit box?

What in the name of good King Christ is that?

Drunk Merlin is here?

Fuck this! I'm done talking.

Cough it up, Chief!

Waltroy!

Fuck, I can't move.

It's 'cause I de-animated you.

Or it's because I have Parkinson's disease.

Yeah, that's right, motherfuckers.

Being unable to move is basically any other Monday to me.

Good luck trying to pry this dick out of my hands.

Keeg?

Keeg!

Keeg.

Keeg!

This is not the time for games, Keeg.

We need to...

God. You.

Keeg, get back inside, now.

No.

No, you don't get to do that anymore.

You're curious?

You wanna know where I'm from? All right.

I'm from the future where you abandoned me.

He shrugs.

Well, I guess you can't feel too bad about it.

It hasn't happened for you yet.

Yeah, I'm also rapidly dying.

So, things with future me are still top shelf, in case you're wondering.

Hey, wait. Wait.

Where are you...

I don't care if you like him.

And I suppose now is as good a time as any to tell you that...

that's your dad.

Holy shit.

Wait.

You're controlling him?

I didn't know you could do that.

You...

need...

these.

Niles?

Say it. Say it.

Say it. Say it. Say it.

Jane?

Jane!

When did you come back?

I'm not back.

Not for a while.

What has happened to you?

We've lost our longevity.

You know about longevity.

We know everything in the future.

SOS. Please respond.

This is Victor Stone. Can anyone hear me?

SOS, please respond. This is Victor Stone.

Can anyone hear me?

Man, I'm Cyborg again for less than 24 hours,

and I'm already using my upgrades to call for help.

You're doing a great job, Vic.

Grid! Turn off positive reinforcements.

Don't worry.

We've done all the fighting we can about what you've done.

So how about it?

You wanna shave off a little more of Immortus and save our lives?

I'd love to help you, Jane.

But I really can't do that.

I know.

If there's anything else I can do to help...

They're all gone.

Who?

The personas?

What does that mean?

It means I'm getting old as fuck.

And I'm losing my mind.

It means I...

can't form a normal fucking relationship

outside of these assholes in this house.

And I need to figure out a puzzle...

that could change what life I have left.

It means that in some weird, fucked-up way,

you might be the best person to help me.

Where the hell are you from, anyway?

I just got here from fucking your mom.

Apparently I create him at some point in the future.

The future?

Bollocks.

We'll have to flush your memories after this.

You will do no such thing.

Future knowledge is a toxin, Niles.

Those who possess it are consumed by it.

That checks out. My buddies and I discovered a future

where killer Butts have taken over the earth...

Stop talking about the future.

I will, if you let me go. - No!

You've done enough already.

No, I haven't. There are lives depending on me, Niles.

People you are going to love one day.

Right. Pals, just like yourself.

I know you think I'm your enemy.

And we're sure as shit not pals.

But I understand you now.

You wanna live one day longer than your daughter, right?

Well, I have a grandson, Rory.

All I want is more time with him too.

I'm not asking for a lot, a few crumbs.

That's the least you can do for me.

You owe me that much.

I know what you're thinking.

This robot is ancient.

I've got better hardware in my room.

But Mr. Invincible is why we're all here.

Because before you can fly...

you must first learn to crawl.

I think it's cute.

Well, Mr. Invincible might not look like much...

But he'll surely surprise you.

SOS, please respond.

SOS, please respond.

Can anyone hear me?

SOS.

Vic?

Derick?

Are you shitting me?

Hey, yo, you're on

- speaker phone. - What?

Look, I need help. I'm stuck.

I'm in the time stream.

There you are.

Well, kind of hope that hurt.

Dr. Caulder. Sorry to startle you. I...

I knocked and there was no answer.

So I assumed I could just pop in and drop these off.

Fine. Leave them and go.

Yes, well, I have more candidates for your Immortus project.

Hand them here.

Yes, well, um...

Go.

Sorry to interrupt again.

Actually, you know, that's not all.

I...

I know you don't think much of me or my methods,

but I want you to know that I...

I respect your work, and I'm...

I truly believe that I would be a great asset to you.

Ms. De Mille...

If only someone would just take a flier on me,

and you could always use an ally...

Ms. De Mille!

I've had my eye on you for some time.

I have observed your ambition.

Your single-mindedness.

And your ability to compromise.

And what those concessions have done to your character.

It is my opinion that you are simply

not cut out for the Bureau.

Well...

That's...

quite a lot to digest, so I...

shall just see myself out.

I knew there was something off about you.

Thanks for these.

It is from me?

Yeah, that's right. It's our... It's our Keeg.

You know, maybe you could help us.

You want my help?

I know dying shouldn't be that big of a deal.

I've made it a century, right?

But the thing is, I have Keeg now.

And I've been worrying about who's gonna take care of him after I go.

I'm thinking...

maybe it could be you.

I... I know he'd be safe with you.

And you could maybe teach him things about himself that I never could.

No.

Did you not hear the part where I said I'm dying?

This Larry...

not ready for two.

- I am sorry. - You're sorry?

I'm not even supposed to be here.

I'm on a mission to save Rita, and I'm throwing it away

to ask you for help saving our child.

And you're sorry?

Do you have any idea what you've done?

I wasn't mad at you because you left.

It's because you gave me a second chance at fatherhood and it's been beautiful.

But now, it's the most painful thing I've experienced,

because it's all for naught.

I'm fucking dying, and I can't take care of my child!

Keeg...

will be well.

You don't know that. He... He's...

He's not as strong as you. He worries...

Why worry?

Because there's a solid chance that Keeg is what kills me.

Kill?

Yeah. Good. You two talk it out.

What is that shit?

It's a potion concocted by a friend.

It's supposed to erase memories.

You're going to forget this?

Apparently, knowledge of the future is more poisonous than this shit.

Well, you might wanna pour yourself a double,

because I have a question for you.

Well, why not ask the me of your time?

Because you're not there anymore.

I see.

Why did we have so many sessions

when you knew I was a lost cause?

Why on earth would you think that?

Because I know there's a room with a dozen locks on the door

waiting for me at Josh Clay's house.

For your worst-case scenarios.

So I have to assume you don't have high hopes for me.

It's just that you're sometimes so hard to reach, Jane.

Your tether is so thin.

So why do you keep trying?

Why are you trying now?

Because I'm your friend.

Do you honestly believe that?

Yes, I do.

I am your incredibly...

imperfect...

friend.

What about you?

Do you still think you're a lost cause?

It sure as shit looks that way.

I can't find Kay and the others

without solving some fucking jigsaw puzzle,

and getting my new purpose.

Well, I could help you with that. I'm quite good at puzzles.

No, it's not like that. I... I have to say something to solve it.

And I don't know what that is.

Or maybe you do know what to say but don't want to.

Maybe.

What is it you do want, then?

Peace.

Is there something wrong with that?

No.

It's just that...

Until now, your purpose has always been to survive.

Which means I'm afraid that you will never find absolute peace.

We're out of foil.

Damn!

Look, you don't need to reconstruct the pod.

To find your solution, we need to fully understand your condition.

This isn't Apollo 13. I have air and power.

I just need a way out.

He's not wrong.

Joy, will you let me have this?

Forget the pod.

Look, imagine I'm in a hallway with a million doors.

I just need to open the right one.

That's what I've been saying. The portals are all about probability.

This kid sounds smart.

I can't believe out of all the doors I knocked on,

you were the ones who answered.

Thank Mr. Invincible.

He's linked to your comm system.

He is?

How does this kid know how to calculate time portals?

You.

You taught her, Vic.

You wanted to be a hero in a new way,

and I'm sitting here looking at it.

I'm talking to the future.

You're talking to your future.

How does this happen? What do I do?

How about

we focus on getting you to the present

and let the future take care of itself.

Okay.

There you go.

I sincerely hope

that hurts like hell.

Let's vanish. I'm sobering up.

I'm sorry for whatever has happened to you.

For whatever I may...

or may not do to you.

But I am not that man yet.

And if I become him...

then...

we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

Let's go.

Dr. Niles Caulder.

This is Ernst and Wilhelm Bischoff.

Assistant cobblers to Dr. Heinrich Von Fuchs.

If you return the artifact, we will execute you quickly.

News flash. The Nazis are here.

What the fuck are you doing?

I was told, in no uncertain terms, not to get involved.

Nobody is rooting harder for you than I.

So, you've always been a massive cock.

Look, everything's fine.

They're bluffing.

I destroyed their armory

after I stole the necklace.

The fuck?

Kipling, for the love of Churchill's ball bag...

unfreeze me!

Fine, fuck it. Yortlaw!

Motherfucker!

Ooh, axes?

That's the best you could do?

All right, let's see how your hatchets do against my Goliath.

So now we're buddies.

All right, you're up.

Take their heads off.

.Yeah, here's the thing. You created me with one weakness.

Electricity.

- How's that? - I'm a brain,

in liquid, surrounded by metal.

Don't look at me like that. You created my ass.

Now you want me to take on two electric axes?

Fine! May I?

Thank you.

How about one electric axe?

Bruder?

Bruder?

Fine!

Fucking hell!

Did you see that?

Damn it. I'm stuck!

You didn't freeze him again, did you?

Yeah, like I said, Parkinson's.

It happens.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Shit!

Whoa!

How long are you gonna keep this game up?

I know you're a shifter.

Okay, I'm gonna take you out, and you're going to talk to me.

And if you try anything, I'll have the guards take care of you.

Okay?

Okay.

Now...

Show me who you really are.

- Cute. - Cute?

How is your mind not fucking blown?

I'm you, you fucking idiot.

I know a grifter when I see one.

Or did you think I'd be so stunned by this

bizarrely dressed version of myself

that you'd get the drop on me? I invented that play.

I know.

Because I invented that play. Because I am you.

- Prove it. - How?

We haven't trusted a soul since we were 14.

Remember?

Our parents led the mob.

Chased us out of town because we revealed our abilities.

Sorry. Had to do it.

Yeah, yep. That's the stuff.

Almost there, fellas. I can feel it.

Just a little more elbow grease.

- Come on, push! - I am pushing. You push.

Boom!

If I'm the man that builds you, then I'm a goddamn genius.

No. You're a monster.

Look out!

Niles!

Forgive me, Bunberry.

Chief?

So...

You're me from the future?

Yes, I came for Caulder's Immortus artifact.

Why? What does it do?

For us? Not a thing.

But my friends need it, and...

I need them.

Well, time traveling to the Ant Farm

is quite a risk to take for your friends.

Well, they help me be a better person.

And why would we need to be better?

Because I have spent my entire existence

trying to undo all the horrible shit that we've done.

I know you want to believe you're good.

You want power so you can change the world.

But this isn't the way. The Bureau isn't the way.

But that's just your opinion, isn't it?

Because I'm not you.

Not yet.

I'm sure you believe you're good,

because you have become a master at deception.

I mean, you've even managed to con yourself as to your noble intentions.

- That's not true. - But I know it is,

because I am working hard over here and I am still no better than you.

And I know now...

we won't change.

Not till it's too late.

I'm a good person, you fucking bitch.

No, you're not.

How are we doing, Detroiticons?

Working hard, Vic.

Don't worry.

These kids are geniuses.

- I got it. - Thank God!

I swear, I was for sure we were screwed.

So, where's the portal?

Exactly where you came from.

No, that can't be right. Grid already checked there.

There's a back door.

A back door?

Mr. Stone can get to it. The portal will be there.

How can this kid be so certain?

Because it's math.

I've run the calculations.

So has Grid.

Yeah, but your version of Grid doesn't have the data that our setup has.

Listen, if you wanna waste time

and check my work, be my guest.

Whoa. Hold up. Joy.

We trust you.

Vic,

can we transmit the coordinates in an update to Grid?

Do what you have to do.

What did I miss?

We're saving you from the time stream.

You have your doubts, though.

It'll work.

I checked their work.

I have received new coordinates.

There appears to be a portal at the very spot from which we entered the time stream.

Grid, recall the knuckles.

No, I don't deserve this. I'm good.

Good? You're good?

We're the fucking weapon!

Please, why? Why, why? Please, why?

Because I fucking hate us!

My God! My God!

My God! No! Chief, talk to me.

I can't feel my legs.

Hold tight, Caulder.

I'll get us out of here and get you some help.

I can't... No. This isn't happening now.

This can't be on me.

Please! This isn't fair.

I'm not the one who broke your fucking back.

You are...

quite magnificent.

I'm sorry.

I've seen and done some nastiness in my life.

But taking longevity from a dying man, that...

is true fuckery.

I mean, like you said, he owes you, right?

So, I suppose, now you're even.

You're gonna wipe his memory of this, right?

Wipe his memory?

He's dying.

Why is everything on me?

Everyone else gets to cruise through life, completely amoral.

What about me?

Why do I have to be tortured by everything?

Hey, you know, I hate to be pushy, but we're on a bit of a clock.

Yes, I know.

He thinks he's going to throw me into the sun.

No, this is different.

Not death.

- New life. - New life?

I become new life?

In the sun?

Wha...

Are you trying to tell me that we become a fucking sun?

Wait, what does that even mean?

Okay, why would we ever do that?

Hey, answer me.

You are stronger than my Larry.

But still...

So much fear.

You pass it to Keeg.

Why would you say something so cruel?

I can do more...

than what she made me for.

You know, you might not believe this,

but I have made progress.

The other lunatics in this house...

I've actually become friends with them.

Maybe...

the others are extensions of your purpose.

They've helped you survive. You've helped them.

Maybe if you let it out, it might free you to do...

even more than you were designed for.

More even than...

whatever this new purpose might be.

How do I even know I want a new purpose?

I'm so tired of being me.

Right.

You want peace.

I mean, fuck!

If not me, then who?

How about Kay?

She's the one who created all of you to do the tasks that she can't.

So maybe...

you solving your puzzle...

could free her...

to search for her peace.

What about the rest of us?

Yes, but Kay...

Kay is the one who suffered.

Kay is the one who went through the trauma.

That's not true.

Come on, Jane.

Say it.

You've always known.

Just say it.

It happened to all of us.

It happened to me.

I was raped by my father.

The moment we were created...

we could feel the memory.

Please. Come with us.

It's all right.

We don't need it anymore.

We're all together now.

Where are we going?

I wanna show you what I've been building.

Three shots.

We had three shots and we failed.

We don't need the longevity.

We have each other.

And when we come together as one, we can do anything.

Jane's giving the pep talk?

That's where we are?

Which persona are you right now?

I'm all of us.

I am the Kaleidoscope.

What the hell does that mean, you're the Kaleidoscope?

I don't totally know.

I'm working that out.

Screw it.

Jane's right.

Young or old, it doesn't matter.

We have to do what's right. And that means

going back there and putting up a fight.

Fight who, exactly?

The all-powerful Immortus?

And the ever-growing horde of Butts?

Whoever we have to in order to save the world.

To save Rita.

The hell, maybe even save ourselves.

Fuck it.

I'm going to hell anyway.

If the last thing we do before we croak

is take those motherfuckers with us,

it is what it is.

Grid?

Proceed to the coordinates that you received.

We're going home.

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