All language subtitles for wurg11

Previously on Doom Patrol...

- Who are you, again?
- The Beard Hunter.

Your facial hair connects
me directly to the brain stem.

- You're not in control.
- Grid, stop!

Careful!

What the hell happened back there?

Ever since my
reset button got pushed,

something's been wrong in my system.

The rest of the team can't know.
They'll worry I'm turning into that

psychopath in Jane's painting.

If you want your life back,
why don't you just call her?

- Who?
- Your daughter.

What the hell is she doing with Bump?

There's supposed to be a man there.

It's like he just walked
out of the comic book.

I have no say in
our relationship, Larry.

Because I'm the one who
actually has something to lose.

Larry, you there, bud?

It's John.

- I'll be right here.
- Go.

Has anybody seen her like this before?

How do we pull her out?

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com

Open up.

Captain Trainor, are you in there?

Who wants to know?

Military police.

Keep your hands where I can see 'em.

You asshole!

Had you going there.

How'd you find me?

Easy.

A motel in the middle of nowhere.

Not a soul in sight.

Now, you want to tell
me what the hell this is?

Where we are?

- Do we care?
- Hell, no.

Smell this. It smells like heaven.

Smells good.

To us.

And whatever the hell this is.

And to whatever the hell this is.

Okay, so, the truck, that made sense.

That was our place.

But this, we've never been here
before, so it's not a memory.

Fever dream, maybe?

Oh. Oh.

I'm dead, aren't I?

Are you dead? What
are you talking about?

Far from it.

I used to drive by this place
when I was going up the coast,

and I told myself,

"Someday, I'm going to go
there with John Bowers."

I guess today is someday.

So this is how you wanted it.

Are you happy now?

It's perfect.

- Let's get to it, then.
- Uh-huh.

Hey. Careful. Don't choke on it.

Look at you, mother-hen.
Why do you care so much?

Because I love you.

You know, I always wanted to...

What the hell happened here?

Long story.

What happened in there?

Not my story to tell.

- I get it.
- The good thing is, she's back.

And... I think she's back.

Are you okay, Larry?

Yeah.

Take me back, pal.

Please.

Please, take me back.

Protesters have gathered
outside the armed robbery trial

of Steve Larson, also known as
Animal Vegetable Mineral Man,

who, just yesterday, took the stand
and said that he would rather, quote,

"take a bullet" than testify against
his alleged partner in crime,

his dinosaur head.

In other bizarro news,
Florida man Bump Weathers

was massacred by a giant
alligator this weekend

and died in a tragic accident.

Weathers was a long time pit
crew boss to '80s car racing

phenom Cliff Steele.

Locals say that Weathers'
bar, Salty Bump's,

is the hub of Cypressville,
and he shall be missed.

Bump is survived by
his daughter, Clara.

- You're creating disharmony.
- You're the primary.

Listen. You're the one on top.

- An equilibrium.
- The more things remain out of balance...

There are rules.

The more all of us are vulnerable.

I once took a respite at
Rockhaven Sanitarium in Glendale.

The food was horrendous.
But Marilyn Monroe's mother

- was my roommate.
- Your point?

It's essential to rest the mind.

Is that what you think I was doing?

- Resting my mind?
- The point is,

now that you're up and about, I
feel that you owe me an apology.

Not since I understudied Bette Davis,

have I been so
monomaniacally manipulated,

mind-controlled, and emotionally abused.

Karen!

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, Karen's cray-cray.

Yup.

That's it?

That's your apology?

Do I look like I'm living
in a late '90s rom-com, Rita?

Why? Because I'm not fucking Karen!

If you happen to see her...

Sure. Mmm-hmm, except, no,

because what I'm trying to do now

is stay out of my head
and find the Chief,

which is why I called
a team meeting!

Hello!

Jane called this meeting?

Yes. Jane call meeting.

All right, where's Vic and Larry?

Oh. Thanks a lot, guys!

We're in.

Hey, Grid, I'm here.

_

Probably because I removed your
operating system from my body, big guy.

Huh.

Maybe it's because
you're still rebooting.

_

Ever since we hit SOS
and my arm regenerated,

I've never felt so good.

__

L.O.L.

Is that why my sonic cannon got all
jacked up with the Beard Hunter?

__

How much stronger am I?

_

_

But I don't see any
more cybernetic growth.

Grid, please confirm.

_

What?

In summary, it was very unpleasant.

Dear Chief, sorry we never found you.

We have no excuse, other than
we're utterly incompetent.

Oh, oh, look. We got a clue. From
a teleporting, gender-queer street.

And based on Rita's description,
we are now looking for,

and I quote, "A hunky fellow,
known as 'Hero of the Beach.'"

Signed, the fucking
totally useless Doom Patrol.

- We're not the Doom Patrol.
- God, no.

We will be, if we
don't get our shit together.

The Hero of the Beach is Flex Mentallo.

That's right. How did you know that?

Look at the cereal box.

- Mentall-Os!
- Ah.

Oh, you know what?

You know what we need right now?

Is a man

to eat the Chief's beard
hair and track his essence.

Oh, but wait.

We had an actual Beard
Hunter here in Doom Manor.

A hair-gobbling bloodhound
that could have led us

straight to the Chief, but no.

And what's up with you?

Bump's dead.

Bump? The guy who screwed your wife?

- You should be happy.
- I am. I'm not.

I need to see Clara.

So you're gonna bail on us and
go to some homewrecker's funeral?

She's my daughter.

Cliff, this is awful.
You should be there.

Flit, take me to Salty Bump's.

Don't talk to Flit.

Flit, Clara's at Bump's bar

- in Cypressville...
- We are not your shuttle!

Because nobody jumped in to save you

when you were in need, right, Jane?

Nobody.

And I mean nobody saved me.

- I vote we take this down a notch.
- No, no, no.

Ah! Hey. Here we go!

- Where are we?
- The Sunshine State.

- Florida?
- Enjoy!

Deep breaths.

What's wrong? You wanted to come.

Uh, my daughter who thinks I died
30 years ago is inside that bar.

She needs someone to lean on right now.

She needs a hero! Oh!

Phew! Boy! Dizzy.

It's just nerves.

Every performer worth
their salt gets them.

It means you care.

Now, stand up straight.

Repeat after me.

Red leather, yellow leather.

"Red leather, yellow..." What? Why?

Blow your lips, like a horse.

- No lips. Part of why I'm nervous.
- Right.

Ah! How about take a
deep, cleansing breath

all the way up through your diaphragm.

Haaaah.

Uh, I'm good.

Oh, goody, we fit right in.

Hey, Metallica!

Y'all friends of Bump's?

- Uh...
- Who wasn't?

What a lovely man. Tragic loss.

Hi.

I see you're admiring Bump's handiwork.

He made this Halloween costume
for my friend years ago.

- No shit.
- Hmm.

- Do you mind?
- What? Mind, what?

Rita.

Huh.

- Rita.
- Reckon he used a Heliarc or a MIG?

- It's a MIG.
- Rita.

- That's carbon steel, you jackass.
- Rita.

I'll be damned.

- Rita.
- Oh! Would you boys excuse us?

Hmm.

Well, butter my backside
and call me Biscuit.

What can I get for you, pretty lady?

Gin and tonic.

I want to fend off the
mosquitoes while I'm here.

Good idea. Something for your friend?

Oh, no, he's on the wagon.

Poor thing. Sharaine!

G&T for the lady, and I'll
take another pitcher of beer.

You got it, honey.

Survey says you are
not from around here.

Too classy.

Name's Big D.

- Gertrude Cramp.
- Huh?

Ah, but most people call me Gertie.

So, Gertie. You and tea
kettle there an item?

Heavens, no. He's just an
old friend of the family.

Well, in that case, maybe you'd like

to split a basket of chicken with me?

I'd be delighted, Big D.

Sharaine.

A basket of chicken.

You got it, Big D.

Hmm.

Oh, God.

No. No, no, no.

No! No.

Yo!

I just found out that Flex
Mentallo has a wife named Dolores.

She's old as fuck,
but she's still alive.

"Wow. That's great, Jane."

We're meeting her in an hour.

Hello!

Hello, what?

Look, just go meet her. You
don't need my permission.

Listen, Vic-wad, you're the
genius who got a talking street

to tell us that Flex is the
key to finding the Chief.

Flex is MIA and...

Well, his wife, Dolores,
is all we got, so...

I need your help, Vic.

Okay. Uh...

Just give me a minute.

So you knew Bump?

- We was neighbors.
- Hmm.

And I must have told him 1,000 times,

if he's going looking for
Frances, I will go with him.

But did he call? Hell, no.

Was Frances his girlfriend?

No. Frances is the name
of the gator what ended up

eating his sorry ass. She's a legend.

A lot of folks figure
she ate the Unabomber.

- And now, Bump.
- Yeah.

Poor old Bump.

He ended up in the belly
of that godforsaken beast

somewhere's out there
in the Okefenokee Swamp.

That don't surprise me none either.

Most gator hunters know,
they see Frances coming,

- they gonna skedaddle.
- Mmm.

But not old Bump.

He just rushed right into danger.

And straight
into my wife's crotch.

Say... Say what, now?

Just kidding. Bump was awesome.

Why'd Bump want
to catch Frances anyway?

Well, you know Bump.

I mean, he's... Get a wild hair,
and not think things through

and end up doing something stupid.

Yeah. Like screwing someone else's wife!

I'm just kidding. Again.

Thank you, Clara.

Please, I want to
go back to that dream.

I'll never ask again.

Maybe you're tired. I get it. Okay?

But why'd you take me all the way there

if you weren't going to let
me play the whole thing out?

I need to see him, pal. Please.

Excuse me.

Hey, hey, hey, where you heading?

Stay and talk.

No, thanks. I'm looking for somebody.

First of all, you're underestimating

- writing stream of consciousness.
- Okay, look,

all I'm saying is that
anybody could get loaded

and write the first
thing that comes to mind.

But this one is different.
This one is different.

Okay, there's a wicked wind, wild orgy.

And they get so wasted, they
blow off dinner with Henry Miller.

- Can you imagine?
- I would never forgive myself.

- You'll love it.
- You had me at Henry Miller.

- You had me at orgy.
- Oh, you're so bad!

You came?

- Hey.
- Boy, you came!

- Thank God I found you.
- Oh.

Guys, this is the Larry
I was telling you about.

- Hey.
- Down, boy. You know he's taken.

Who cares? It's a free
country. I mean, look at him.

Oh, my gosh, stop
it. Look, he's blushing.

Hey, can we go?

You just got here. Relax.

Enjoy yourself. Get a drink.

Okay.

All right, bud.

He's cute.

Oh, my gosh. He
looks like a movie star.

What the hell, pal?
Change it back to the motel.

I mean it.

We're trying to work
together here, right?

This isn't what I want.
Change it back. Now.

Are you gonna play something?

Woman, you love you some chicken.

Uh-huh.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Here I go.

Everybody, shut the fuck up,
so Clara can say something.

- I don't know if I...
- Oh, come on, get on up there, hon.

We want to hear from you.

Okay.

Thanks.

You a friend of Bump's?

Yeah, I am. Yeah.

Well, I'm real glad you're here.

Well, um, I just want to thank
y'all for coming out today.

This would have meant a lot
to my dad.

Y'all know Bump took me
in after the accident.

He taught me the important things,

like how to tie a cherry stem
knot with my tongue.

How to change my alternator.

How to kick a guy in the balls.

That's probably why I'm still single.

Um...

Anyhoo, uh...

When I turned 18, we made it official,

and Bump adopted me.

I had gotten this little inheritance
when my birth parents died,

and part of that was this gold watch.

It meant a lot to me.

But what meant more to me was
this man who had cared for me

and asked for nothing in return.

I don't know. Maybe it was silly,

but that gold watch was the
most valuable thing I owned,

and I wanted him to have it.

So I had it inscribed,
"To Dad, you're my hero."

And... And I gave it to him
when the adoption was final.

Yeah.

Y'all know Bump had this
urgent way of looking at life,

like it was ice cream on a hot day,

and he just had to eat it fast.
Carpe Diem, he'd say,

which he said was Latin for,
"Don't waste a goddamn minute,

'cause you never know
when your time is up."

Well, that stupid idiot,
he was out there

just Carpe-fucking-Dieming
when he went into the belly of a gator

and took that damn watch with him.

Makes no sense why he did it.

But it also makes no sense why he'd
take a little girl under his wing

when he had his whole life ahead of him.

So, uh...

So here's to the good
things that make no sense.

Here's to my dad.
He'll always be my hero.

- Did you talk to her?
- No, I didn't talk to her!

But she was right there!

Didn't you hear what she
said? Bump was her hero!

Of course, he was. He raised her.

It's not a competition, Cliff.

Are you crazy? He
took in an orphan girl.

How am I gonna beat that?

I think your love and a
sincere apology should suffice.

No, no, no, no.

Frances.

What?

Come on.

Come on.

- What?
- Come on.

Dark corner, away from everybody.

- One dance.
- Okay.

- One dance.
- I'll take what I can get.

Hey, you asked for context. Here it is.

We're in the heart of
the happening, Larry.

- I know. I know.
- This is it.

I get it. I get it. It's just...

It's a lot.

Hey, appreciate what we have here.

- Okay?
- Yeah.

Back home in Erie, Rawhide
didn't open until '79.

Shit.

Until then, the nearest gay bar
was six hours away in Philly.

Rawhide?

Erie, PA. What are you saying?

I'm saying, we're safe here.

And we'd be safe
back at that motel.

Look, I know, I know I
should be okay with all this,

but there's no privacy here.

- Who's gonna see you here, Larry?
- What?

- I don't know.
- Because, right now

we could go anywhere.

We could do anything.

But we can't

because, even in this dream,
or whatever the hell this is,

you're still worried about
what other people think.

- No, no...
- Yes. Yes, you are.

Yes, you are.

If you're not running from
the military, it's your wife.

- And if it's not your wife...
- Hey.

then it's a table of
perfectly wonderful guys.

No, that is not...

I just want us alone.
I want to be with you.

Then be with me, Larry. Here!

Or at the table or at the
bar! What does it matter

- as long as we're together?
- Okay. Okay.

You're right, okay? I need to change.

Don't you think you
would've if you could've by now?

You've got to let go, Larry.

The world has changed,
and you've stayed the same.

Hiding out in the back of pickup trucks,

holing up in out-of-the-way motels.

Never breaking out of your damn box.

What kind of life is that?

John.

John, I swear, I'll change.
Just give me a chance.

I'm all out of chances, Larry.

I don't want to spend
my last days like this.

What?

You want a chance? Take one.

John. John!

John!

John!

What is going on? What's happening?

Answer me!

Look, I know you're not the best
communicator, okay? Join the club.

Why did John say he didn't want
to spend his last days like this?

What chance am I supposed to take?

Come on, pal. Come on, pal.

Help me out.

What's going on?

"Erie"?

Is that it?

Did you not hear what Big D said?

People that go after
Frances never come back.

This is insane, even for you, Cliff.

Why'd you tell Big D that
your name was Gertrude Cramp?

Because, unlike you, I'm
not running away anymore.

I'm trying to face my fears
and remember who I was

before I was Rita Farr.

Gertrude is my real name.

Well, then I want to
be Clara's dad again.

That's who I was before
I became this tool shed.

But I can't do it without that watch.

This is about a watch?

A watch isn't going to win her back.

All a girl wants is her father's time.

Well, I blew that. All I
can do now is make up for it.

Why don't you just buy a new watch?

What is so special about that watch?

Because it's my fucking watch. Okay!

I won it in the Dallas Speedway in 1976

in a neck-in-neck with Flip Jackson.

And that watch means something to
her. So, if I have to bear wrestle

an alligator to prove that
I still care about her,

then, God damn it,
that's what I'm gonna do.

Ooh! Well, what about me?

What am I supposed to do while you
wade into the heart of darkness?

Stand on the shore?

Wait to be eaten alive
by some tsetse horde?

I don't care.

I should have had another gin and tonic.

Ugh!

Hello, can I help you?

I'm an old friend of John's.

From the military.

Captain Larry Trainor.

I can't believe it.

- The bandages.
- Yeah.

Yeah, I was just in the neighborhood,

- and I wondered if he...
- Of course. Come in.

He's been drifting in and out.

And your ears must have been burning,
'cause he keeps saying your name.

Larry.

You son of a bitch.

I can't believe you came.

Hey.

I...

I thought it was all a dream.

I had a bad fever for about a week.

I conked out. I saw the white light.

I thought, "Well, John, old boy,

it was a good run.

Wheels up. All systems go."

But when I got closer to the light...

I saw you.

Good God.

That steak sandwich was
fucking awesome, wasn't it?

I'd go back to that
motel in a heartbeat.

I gotta be honest with you.

At this stage in my life,
I'm too old to ask how.

You're here, Larry.

You're here.

It's so romantic in here,

amongst the diapers and
decongestant, isn't it?

Let's go to the porch.

And, if you don't mind, darling,

- I need a lift.
- You got it.

Up we go.

Good God, you're still so strong.

What I said in the bar,
it was selfish of me

to bring my crap into
our fantasy. I'm sorry.

Are you kidding? I'm here
because of what you said.

Part of me hoped you'd come.

Let's face it, other than
Evette, I got no one left.

Everyone's croaked.

That's what they don't tell you.

You enter wearing diapers
and eating baby food,

and you exit the same damned way.

It's just my way of saying,

I'm very glad you came,

Larry Trainor.

This is where she said to meet, right?

Where the hell is she?

She's old. Give her a minute.

Dude, this aggro thing
is not working for you.

- Talk to me.
- Okay, look...

I'm all jacked up.

- Okay. Meaning?
- Meaning...

When the Beard Hunter came
at me, Grid went haywire,

activated my sonic cannon.

I could have taken out
Rita, Negative Spirit, you.

- Okay, so how's Grid now?
- I don't know.

- I turned it off.
- Isn't it like an integral part of you?

Yeah.

The totally fucked up part,
with a mind of its own.

But how can you even move?
Doesn't Grid control, like,

- all your parts?
- No. Grid's just my software.

Still. Do you think
you should have just...

I had to do what I had to do.

So I had to shut that shit down.

Have you ever felt like

there's something inside of you

that could do major damage
if you don't take control?

I feel like that all the fucking time.

The difference is I
legitimately have no control.

I can't just shut that shit down.

Okay? If I could, I would
have done it a long time ago.

Why not just suck it
up and call your dad?

- The painting.
- Dude, I saw that painting

when I was inside a donkey.

It's mind-fuckery-vomit art

from the fetid mind of Mr. Nobody, dude.

I mean, consider the source.

Except it's happening. I
saw it with my own eyes.

The machine's taking over.

And I can't stop it.

Fuck.

What about you? Why are you suddenly
interested in rescuing the Chief?

I just can't stop thinking
about that old folks home.

The Doom Patrol.

Chief was gonna lock me up
there, and I deserve to know why.

- The Chief has his reasons for everything.
- Then I need to hear it.

From him.

He owes me that.

I know you were with
him. I fucking saw you.

- Don't fucking lie to me!
- I'm not lying to you I swear!

- Bullshit!
- Get off of me!

- I'll be right back.
- Come here!

Where you going?

Hey!

- You want to make me chase you?
- Leave her alone!

Don't you walk away from me!

- Come here.
- Get away! Get away!

- All I want to do is talk to you.
- Leave me alone!

- I promise.
- Hello, young man.

Hey, you must be Dolores.

Look at my elbow.

Get back here! Oh,
I'mma find you all right

Hey, fucko!
Keep your hands off her!

Look at my elbow.

Look at my fist, motherfucker!

Go, go, go!

Go, go, go!

God damn it!

Vic, did you see that?

Vic!

Vic!

Frances! Frances!

Frances, where the fuck are you?

This is utter madness, Cliff!

We have paddled through
this stretch of swamp

three times, and we still
haven't seen Frances.

It's starting to get dark soon.

We have to turn back.

I'm gonna find that
watch, and give it to Clara.

If I find that watch,
everything will be better.

I'm gonna find that watch
and give it to Clara.

If I find that watch, everything will...

Or you could just talk to her!

And say what?

Everything I could possibly say
would be totally stupid as fuck!

"Hi, I'm your dad, but I
died, and I'm a robot now.

I'm just a brain in a tin can,
but, hey, even though I've been

robot non grata for 30 years,
and I don't expect you to like me,

and you certainly don't have to love me,

but I just wanted to say, 'I'm sorry.'"

Yes! That's exactly what you would say.

But if I find the
watch, I'll be her hero.

And she'll know how much I care.

No more time for words.
From now on, only deeds.

Frances! Where the fuck are you!

I want that fucking watch!
I need that fucking watch!

I want that fucking watch! I
need that fucking... Fucking...

watch!

Cliff?

Are you okay?

Cliff?

Oh, my God, you've fried
your brain, you stupid idiot!

How are we gonna
get you out of here, now?

I didn't survive Forbidden
Congo just to die

in some goddamn swamp!

Cliff!

I'm here.

Let's go home.

Let's!

Are you coming?

No, you... You go ahead.

Okay.

Now,

tell me all about you.

There's nothing to tell.

There must be something. You have
the strength of a 20-year-old.

What do you do to stay so virile?
And please don't tell me yoga.

I can't tell if you're
laughing under that gauze.

It's fucking yoga. I knew it.

No. More like RHIP.

I haven't heard that since the service.

"Rank Has Its Privileges"?

No, "Radiation Has Its Perks."

I'll be damned.

Guess there's always
a silver lining, Lar.

So there's been no one special in
your life for 60 years? Come on.

What about your wife, Sheryl?

She died of cancer in '89.

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.

We weren't close, but thank you.

And the boys?

Why put this on them?

What good would it do?

The truth is, I haven't really
lived much since the accident.

You were my last real thing.

And I still feel bad
about sending you away.

It wasn't easy.

But...

I got over you.

Eventually.

And I moved on.

You should too.

You know, when I told
you I loved you, at the motel,

I meant it.

I wanted you to know that.

In case I don't get
another chance to tell you.

I'm not dead, yet, for Christ's sake!

You really haven't
fucked anyone since JFK?

My God, Larry!

Now that I think of it,

there is a relationship
I want to tell you about.

Go on. Go on.

It's not a traditional
relationship, per se, but...

There's something inside me.

I wouldn't say we're friends.

But...

there's definitely a connection there.

For years, I didn't know

what it was, or what it wanted.

But now, I think I might.

Hey...

Sleep well, my friend.

Thank you.

I'll be with you in a sec.

Hello, Victor.

Darren Jones.

I greatly enjoyed our
meeting on Danny the Street,

but I thought this time,
we'd get together on my turf.

Welcome to the Ant Farm.

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com