All language subtitles for Zilla.And.Zoe.2017.1080p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H264-FGT
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:34,794
Action.
2
00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:46,339
Cool.
3
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:48,475
Zoe, time for school!
4
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:52,277
I'm brushing my teeth!
5
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:32,352
So I get a call at seven in
the morning. And they say oh
6
00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:38,258
by the way, Zoe needs to bring
three dozen cupcakes to school
7
00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:42,495
for a play this afternoon.
This is seven am THIS morning
8
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,365
you understand. I've got
an order of studs arriving,
9
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,500
I got to be at the
construction site by nine AM
10
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,569
so in my free time, sure,
why not get in some baking?
11
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:55,507
Oh, and they got to be pink.
Everything is pink right now.
12
00:02:56,911 --> 00:02:59,913
Oscar!
13
00:02:59,914 --> 00:03:01,614
Can I get a little help in here?
14
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:04,683
The waffles are burning.
15
00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:15,929
Um, Sal?
16
00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:19,198
There's blood dripping through
the ceiling fixture again.
17
00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:24,903
Zoe!
18
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,989
We re busy having
a domestic disaster. Leave a message.
19
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:48,628
Um, hi Dad, it's Zilla.
20
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:51,264
I just wanted to call
and see how you re doing.
21
00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:53,933
Actually, I thought
I might come home for a visit.
22
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:58,604
Just to say hi. So, you
know, pick up the phone.
23
00:04:04,245 --> 00:04:07,447
Zoe! If you lock this
thing one more time I swear
24
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:09,282
I will cut it off
with a power saw.
25
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,517
You know this is for
emergency use only.
26
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,886
When someone is
downstairs trying to murder you
27
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:16,723
you get to lock
this door, not before.
28
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:22,395
Now I know you re in
there. Come out of the closet.
29
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:23,830
Look at you.
30
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,465
It's the last day of school.
31
00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:27,967
Can't you keep your
uniform clean for ten seconds?
32
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:31,337
How does it reflect on me as a
father if you show up to school
33
00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:33,373
covered in blood every day?
34
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:36,441
Come on,
let's get you in the shower.
35
00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:47,053
Hi Dad, Zilla again.
36
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:51,724
Look, I'd really like to talk to
you before I get home.
37
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:53,760
Actually, I have some news.
38
00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:55,895
I'm not pregnant.
And I haven't been arrested...
39
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:58,865
So keep that in mind
when you hear my news, okay?
40
00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:01,900
It's important to keep
perspective about these things.
41
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:10,310
I can't believe all
her school uniforms have
42
00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:11,311
bloodstains on them.
43
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,479
Hey, it's not my fault.
44
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,015
Do I look like some
kind of fashion expert?
45
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,384
There's a difference between
identifying a fashion trend
46
00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:20,987
and identifying
a bloodstain, Oscar.
47
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:23,656
I forgot my costume!
48
00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:27,860
I'm late.
Can't you go on without it?
49
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:30,063
I can't be in a play
without my costume.
50
00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:33,599
It's the only thing we re
doing today. Just the play.
51
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,251
I ll take her home.
52
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:38,905
No you won't. She ll show up in
some kind of ghoul ensemble.
53
00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:40,972
I ll go.
54
00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:59,692
You forgot to bring your costume
55
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,761
or you forgot to
make your costume?
56
00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:03,930
You forgot the cupcakes.
57
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:05,997
Son of a...
58
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:17,843
Pink.
59
00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:21,447
Dad?
60
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,515
Zilla?
61
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:26,085
What are you
doing home from school?
62
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,303
We weren't expecting you.
63
00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:30,523
Actually Dad,
there's something I have to tell you.
64
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:32,658
You re pregnant.
65
00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:34,994
You know, just because you
and Mom got pregnant in college
66
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,729
doesn't mean everyone
makes the same mistake.
67
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,131
Not in front of your sister.
68
00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:39,132
So-so you re not...?
69
00:06:39,133 --> 00:06:41,968
No. No chance whatsoever.
70
00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:44,036
Oh. Good!
71
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:46,739
Well we re in a
huge hurry here, honey
72
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,040
so maybe we can
talk later this afternoon.
73
00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:50,943
Dad,
I really need to talk now.
74
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,446
I need raw meat.
75
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:55,514
In the fridge.
76
00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:59,452
Are you having
problems at school?
77
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:00,787
And the internship?
78
00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,723
I, um-I turned that down.
79
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:06,159
That was a really
good internship, Zilla.
80
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,161
How are you supposed to
get into a good med school if.
81
00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:10,696
Look Dad, if you re going to
freak out about the internship
82
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:13,166
you re really not going to
be able to handle my news.
83
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:16,352
There's more news?
84
00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:19,539
So there's this kind of crazy,
angry PTA mom on the phone?
85
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:22,607
And she says that they re
missing 36 pink cupcakes.
86
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:27,479
She seems to be under the
impression that you stole them.
87
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:31,851
Hi, Zilla.
88
00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,920
Hi, Uncle Oscar.
89
00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:37,123
Just-tell them
they re on the way.
90
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:41,494
Could-could you just tell
her? Frankly she's scary, bro.
91
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:43,095
Dad, we re going to be late!
92
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:48,601
Okay. Oscar, you take
Zoe to school. Then call
93
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,203
the construction site and tell
them we re going to be late.
94
00:07:50,204 --> 00:07:53,840
Tell them there's been
some kind of freak accident.
95
00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:56,908
I ll tell them there's
been a kite boarding collision.
96
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:01,013
Whatever.
97
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:04,082
How do you feel
about helping me bake?
98
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:13,391
This is disgusting.
99
00:08:13,392 --> 00:08:15,832
They don't have to taste good,
honey, they just have to exist.
100
00:08:17,231 --> 00:08:18,764
So what's your news?
101
00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:20,867
Before I tell you, I want you to
promise that you ll
102
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,985
be happy for me.
103
00:08:22,986 --> 00:08:25,386
How can I promise that, honey?
I don't know what the news is.
104
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,274
Well, it's something
that makes me happy.
105
00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:32,178
Well frankly, I don't
know what makes you happy.
106
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:36,983
I mean, maybe you've always
wanted to be a trapeze artist.
107
00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:38,985
I'm not going to
applaud you for leaving college
108
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,653
to join the circus.
109
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:43,823
Or maybe you met
a handsome drug dealer.
110
00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:46,292
I mean, just tell me
what the news is honey.
111
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:48,928
Do you want me to guess?
112
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:51,997
Well, the second one is closer.
113
00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:59,639
You re squeezing out
all the frosting, Zilla.
114
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,107
Now I don't have any frosting.
115
00:09:06,896 --> 00:09:09,015
Okay, let's just say
hypothetically I promise to be
116
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:12,552
happy with your news.
Hypothetically, in what category
117
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:14,587
would this news fall?
118
00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:19,091
It would fall in
the love category.
119
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:21,260
Oh God. That's
worse than I thought.
120
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:24,931
...And I'd like some of those
orange ones with the sprinkles.
121
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:27,199
Not the round orange sprinkles.
122
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,885
The cylindrical
orange sprinkles.
123
00:09:29,886 --> 00:09:32,572
Excuse me, is this something
that could possibly be sped up?
124
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:35,207
Because we re kind of in
a time sensitive situation here.
125
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:37,777
Excuse me, but I think
I have as much of a right to
126
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:40,313
personalize my confectionery
choices as you do.
127
00:09:40,314 --> 00:09:43,816
Oh, I'm not denying that right.
It's just that, well, we have to
128
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:47,186
get three dozen pink cupcakes
in the next sixty seconds
129
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:49,822
or I'm going to miss what's left
of my daughter's school play.
130
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:52,224
Well, what kind of cupcakes?
131
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:54,627
We have raspberry strawberry,
marionberry, red velvet.
132
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:58,196
Any kind!
Just make them pink!
133
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:15,081
Now listen, Zilla. We have to
go in there and see what's left
134
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:17,216
of your sister's play,
and if you don't tell me
135
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:20,353
what your news is first,
I will write you out of my will.
136
00:10:20,354 --> 00:10:23,622
Fine. I'm getting married.
137
00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:26,959
What?
138
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:31,831
Married? You re getting
married? You are 21 years old.
139
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:33,666
You married Mom
when you were 19!
140
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:36,002
Oh, and that was a
brilliant idea, wasn't it?
141
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:40,106
I mean, do you see your
mother around anywhere?
142
00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:42,274
Have you heard from
her in the past eight years?
143
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:44,210
You wouldn't even
know what tenderness was
144
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,761
if it weren't for
your Uncle Oscar!
145
00:10:45,762 --> 00:10:47,313
I knew you were going to
freak out. That's why I didn't
146
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:50,115
tell you over the phone!
147
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:55,220
This is absolutely
out of the question!
148
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:06,965
Sorry. Excuse me.
149
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:14,774
What's this play about, anyway?
150
00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:17,443
American History.
151
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:20,880
Um, you missed
most of the play.
152
00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:23,348
They just have the
costume awards left.
153
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:30,456
You are still in college.
154
00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:33,459
Is there some rule that college
students can't be married?
155
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:36,062
Have you ever thought about how
hard it will be to get through
156
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,697
med school if you
have kids to raise?
157
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:39,265
That won't be a problem for us.
158
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:41,734
You can't necessarily plan
these things, Zilla.
159
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:45,271
Birth control isn't
always what it should be.
160
00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:47,840
Thank you all for coming
and joining us on this happy
161
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:48,908
family occasion.
162
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,914
I'd like to thank all the
parents in the audience
163
00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:58,150
for all the effort that you put
into the baking and the costumes
164
00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,853
and the students behind the
curtain for all their hard work.
165
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:02,534
I'm sure they re
ready for summer vacation.
166
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:10,329
In recognition of some of the
costumes that really stood out
167
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,832
we would like to give
out a few quick prizes.
168
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:16,102
The prize for the
prettiest costume goes to
169
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:18,838
Mary Ann Percy as
the Statue of Liberty.
170
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:28,047
Next, the prize for
the coolest costume goes to
171
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:30,516
Tyson Baker
who came as a Rough Rider.
172
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:41,493
And, ah, our judges decided to
give out a third prize this year
173
00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:49,200
The award for the most
disturbing costume goes to
174
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:53,172
Zoe Balicki who decided
to come as a pilgrim
175
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:57,276
who has been..
176
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,411
Scalped.
177
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:13,926
Zoe, we have to
applaud your creativity.
178
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:17,363
However, a quick reminder
for Zoe's parents...
179
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:20,366
Including, ah, raw meat on an
180
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:26,105
elementary school costume is
not considered strictly sanitary
181
00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:27,873
And now, if the
children will join me in
182
00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:29,941
singing our school song.
183
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:39,151
I didn't finish
telling you my news.
184
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,820
I'm sorry, there's more?
185
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:47,426
I invited my fiancée's
family over for dinner.
186
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:50,094
I want you to meet her.
187
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:55,301
Beg your pardon. Her?
188
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:58,370
I'm a lesbian, Dad.
189
00:13:58,371 --> 00:13:59,371
What?
190
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,606
I'm a lesbian!
191
00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:17,189
So, this is how you
192
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:20,092
choose to share
important news with the family
193
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:23,295
Just dumping it on
us out of the blue.
194
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:26,131
Believe me, coming out in the
middle of a grade school play
195
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:29,335
was not my ideal way of
coming out of the closet either.
196
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:32,137
Well, couldn't we have
had a more gradual transition?
197
00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:34,540
I mean, last I knew,
you had a boyfriend.
198
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:37,042
Yeah, isn't there
supposed to be some like
199
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:40,346
I don't know, sexual
experimentation first?
200
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:41,347
There has been.
201
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:42,414
Oh God.
202
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:44,049
Come on Dad,
when's the last time you
203
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,885
actually saw me with a man?
204
00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:48,953
There was that guy you went
to the Fire & Ice dance with.
205
00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:52,124
Was that a woman?
206
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,893
No Uncle Oscar,
that was Bobby Milton
207
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,061
and that was in
the eighth grade.
208
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,463
What's going on?
209
00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:59,899
Zilla's a lesbian now!
210
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,301
I've always been a
lesbian, Uncle Oscar.
211
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:05,104
Well we re so sorry
to offend you, Zilla.
212
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:08,540
We really apologize that your
family's been too insensitive to
213
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:11,610
notice, possibly because
you've always dated men.
214
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:14,346
I knew you wouldn't approve.
215
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,382
It's not that I
disapprove, honey.
216
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:20,451
It's just... well,
it's all very sudden.
217
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:24,056
Sal told me everything.
218
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:25,591
I brought you some chicken soup.
219
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,160
Okay...
220
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:30,462
You do understand
that this is not like
221
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:33,265
a contagious disease that
can be treated with soup, right?
222
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:36,168
And I brought
some dresses for Zoe.
223
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,270
Hello, Marge.
224
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:42,107
Sal. Troubled times.
225
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:45,978
This is what happens when
girls are raised without mothers
226
00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:48,080
What, they become lesbians?
227
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:52,584
And Zoe! I heard she made a
sensation at the school play.
228
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:53,719
How do you know these things?
229
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,521
I try to stay informed.
230
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:58,490
I've said it a million times.
You've got to take better care
231
00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:01,093
of these girls.
You should remarry.
232
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:04,396
And I've told you a
million times, Marge
233
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,198
I haven't met the right woman.
234
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:09,267
Maybe you re secretly gay.
235
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:06,358
Well, if it isn't
the movie director.
236
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,694
How's the horror film
coming, Ms. Kubrick?
237
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,462
Has my coffin arrived?
238
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,264
It came yesterday.
I still don't know what
239
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,149
you want with a coffin.
240
00:17:14,150 --> 00:17:16,035
Aren't you small, miniature
people supposed to be in school?
241
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:17,786
It's vacation.
242
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:19,538
Then why aren't you out playing
with your youthful peers?
243
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:20,639
Don't you have any friends?
244
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,474
Do you?
245
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:23,642
Touché.
246
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:24,810
Where is it?
247
00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:28,079
In the back. I ll get it.
248
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,839
This doesn't look real.
249
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,507
It's for magic shows.
250
00:18:01,147 --> 00:18:02,581
This is stupid.
251
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,249
You order away, you pay.
252
00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:12,858
You hear about
the horror contest?
253
00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:14,793
Hosted by the Film Foundation.
254
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,728
Hundred dollars cash
prize for whoever turns in
255
00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:18,297
the best short horror film.
256
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:19,531
When's the deadline?
257
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:22,634
July 1st.
258
00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:25,771
It's for college kids, dummy!
259
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,839
You ll never win.
260
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:37,449
Okay, I think that we've
all had enough time to think
261
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,685
about this new
situation and adjust.
262
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:42,421
The important thing is that
Lu's family is coming over for
263
00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:44,556
dinner and we need to
get ready to greet them.
264
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,692
What's this family like, dear?
265
00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:49,461
I guess they re sort of formal.
266
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,564
Formal? Like, how formal?
267
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:54,700
Well, they re
conservatives from New York
268
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:57,335
so Lu says they
always dress for dinner.
269
00:18:58,304 --> 00:18:59,738
Dress in what?
270
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:03,876
Like, in clothes? Cause
we do that, we wear clothes.
271
00:19:03,877 --> 00:19:05,410
The men wear ties.
272
00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:06,545
How many men?
273
00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:09,414
Um, Lu has three brothers,
274
00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:13,452
so I guess there ll be eleven.
275
00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:15,287
Eleven?
276
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:17,890
We don't have enough forks.
277
00:19:17,891 --> 00:19:21,660
Fancy conservative
types always have extra forks.
278
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:25,197
And they don't recycle.
They hate environmentalists.
279
00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:26,431
Well they re
gonna love Portland.
280
00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:27,799
You guys, please!
281
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,902
I'm asking you
to do this for me.
282
00:19:29,903 --> 00:19:33,338
Not because you support gays
or conservatives or whatever.
283
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:36,407
But because you
love and care about me.
284
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:46,852
If I start now, I can get
three lasagnas in the oven.
285
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:51,423
I ll make a salad and take the
Greenpeace signs off the lawn.
286
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:53,891
I will set the table.
287
00:19:56,930 --> 00:20:00,866
Okay, you re a
recently reincarnated
288
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:04,636
emotionally confused werewolf
who hasn't had anything to eat
289
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:06,939
in ten centuries. Action!
290
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:28,327
I think it needs more hunger.
291
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:31,797
I have to go inside soon.
I'm supposed to be studying.
292
00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:34,733
Francis, we re in the
middle of a film shoot.
293
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:38,570
I know, but I only got to come
out because Grandma fell asleep.
294
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:41,506
Don't you get summer
break in home school?
295
00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:43,976
Grandma says
summer break is for farmers.
296
00:20:43,977 --> 00:20:47,846
She's not going to
be thrilled about this lawn.
297
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:51,617
Okay, maybe we
can speed things up.
298
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:54,953
If we show the werewolf
coming out of the coffin
299
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:58,022
then we can get rid
of the establishing shot.
300
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:02,693
Action!
301
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:06,999
Stupid thing.
302
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,184
What's wrong with it?
303
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,370
It's for magicians.
I never should have ordered it.
304
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,774
Are you okay?
305
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:18,377
I may be having
an allergy attack.
306
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:20,646
What are you allergic to?
307
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:24,315
Grass, nuts, wheat, dairy, soy..
308
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:40,065
It says here that the oyster
fork goes next to the spoon.
309
00:21:40,066 --> 00:21:42,034
That can't be right.
310
00:21:42,035 --> 00:21:44,903
We re not
serving oysters, Oscar.
311
00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:47,839
I'm going to go pick up
Lu's family from the airport.
312
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,509
I still can't believe
they flew out for this.
313
00:21:50,510 --> 00:21:51,743
Where are they staying?
314
00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:54,079
I invited them to stay with us.
315
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,080
What?
316
00:21:55,081 --> 00:21:56,615
You always told me to feel free
317
00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:58,317
to invite friends
home from school!
318
00:21:58,318 --> 00:22:00,419
Yeah, friends.
319
00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:03,755
Not entire families of
culturally conservative lesbians
320
00:22:03,756 --> 00:22:04,956
who want to marry my daughter!
321
00:22:04,957 --> 00:22:07,825
It's like I told you.
322
00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:10,696
Girls need a woman's touch
or they turn out, different.
323
00:22:10,697 --> 00:22:14,066
There's nothing different
about my daughters, Marge.
324
00:22:14,067 --> 00:22:17,335
Dad, could you
buy me a coffin?
325
00:22:19,505 --> 00:22:22,474
Um, no Zoe.
326
00:22:22,475 --> 00:22:25,844
Why would you want a coffin?
327
00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:28,547
I need one.
328
00:22:28,548 --> 00:22:33,051
Zoe, only dead
people need coffins.
329
00:22:33,052 --> 00:22:36,388
Here Zoe, come help
me with the place cards.
330
00:22:36,389 --> 00:22:38,390
We re having
company for dinner.
331
00:22:38,391 --> 00:22:39,558
Can I invite Francis?
332
00:22:39,559 --> 00:22:41,075
Sure.
333
00:22:41,076 --> 00:22:42,594
Hey, she needs to
take a shower first.
334
00:22:42,595 --> 00:22:46,731
Zoe, go wash up and put
on something more formal.
335
00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:10,789
Hello, Mrs.McGillicuddy.
336
00:23:10,790 --> 00:23:12,524
Is there something wrong?
337
00:23:12,525 --> 00:23:16,762
I ll say there's something
wrong. My dog is missing.
338
00:23:16,763 --> 00:23:18,530
I'm sorry to hear that.
339
00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:21,533
I know your daughter had
something to do with this.
340
00:23:21,534 --> 00:23:23,535
Zilla?
341
00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:26,671
The little one. With the fangs.
342
00:23:26,672 --> 00:23:31,742
I'm sorry Mrs. McGillicuddy,
but Zoe doesn't even like dogs.
343
00:23:32,712 --> 00:23:35,147
I didn't say she liked them.
344
00:23:35,148 --> 00:23:37,516
The way she looks at Fifi...
345
00:23:37,517 --> 00:23:39,584
Like that cannibal man.
346
00:23:39,585 --> 00:23:41,953
Hannibal Lecter.
347
00:23:41,954 --> 00:23:47,024
Mrs. McGillicuddy, I promise
you Zoe did not eat your dog.
348
00:23:48,428 --> 00:23:51,462
But we ll be sure to let you
know if Fifi shows up, okay?
349
00:23:58,504 --> 00:23:59,871
Weirdo.
350
00:23:59,872 --> 00:24:01,573
Who's the weirdo, Sal?
351
00:24:01,574 --> 00:24:04,642
Your neighbor or your daughter?
352
00:24:41,581 --> 00:24:44,850
Zoe, I said put on
something more formal.
353
00:24:44,851 --> 00:24:47,518
Now hurry up,
they re almost here.
354
00:24:53,159 --> 00:24:56,227
Let's make sure everything
goes well. For Zilla's sake.
355
00:25:10,109 --> 00:25:11,743
Welcome!
356
00:25:11,744 --> 00:25:14,812
We re so happy
to finally meet you!
357
00:25:30,563 --> 00:25:32,797
So I said to Luna
358
00:25:32,798 --> 00:25:37,269
sweetheart, I don't care
if you marry a man a woman
359
00:25:37,270 --> 00:25:40,839
or one of those
bizarre transgender types.
360
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,308
All I want are grandchildren
361
00:25:43,309 --> 00:25:45,644
and with artificial
insemination these days
362
00:25:45,645 --> 00:25:47,312
that's entirely possible.
363
00:25:47,313 --> 00:25:52,317
I think Zilla wants to finish
college before she has kids.
364
00:25:52,318 --> 00:25:54,986
Well, naturally!
365
00:25:54,987 --> 00:25:57,722
But she won't
want to wait too long.
366
00:25:57,723 --> 00:26:01,126
I waited until I was older to
have children and quite frankly
367
00:26:01,127 --> 00:26:04,194
I think something
went wrong with my eggs.
368
00:26:06,065 --> 00:26:09,166
They re practically mutes.
369
00:26:11,704 --> 00:26:14,072
So you re a gay couple?
370
00:26:14,073 --> 00:26:17,075
Um, no.
371
00:26:17,076 --> 00:26:21,346
Mm mm, no no, we re
not any kind of couple.
372
00:26:21,347 --> 00:26:24,649
That would be an
incestuous relationship.
373
00:26:24,650 --> 00:26:26,051
We re brothers.
374
00:26:26,052 --> 00:26:27,819
Hmm.
375
00:26:27,820 --> 00:26:30,922
You come off like a gay couple.
376
00:26:30,923 --> 00:26:32,591
Anyway
377
00:26:32,592 --> 00:26:35,860
Have you thought about
what kind of ceremony you want?
378
00:26:35,861 --> 00:26:39,064
Well, I think we'd like
something very small
379
00:26:39,065 --> 00:26:42,167
and informal... with just
a few of our closest friends.
380
00:26:42,168 --> 00:26:46,236
Oh. Well that wouldn't
be very festive, would it?
381
00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:52,811
Don't be afraid to
splurge a little, sweetheart.
382
00:26:52,812 --> 00:26:57,282
Geoffrey and I have decided
we want to cover everything.
383
00:26:57,283 --> 00:27:01,152
We re delighted to
do it, aren't we dear?
384
00:27:01,153 --> 00:27:02,787
Ecstatic.
385
00:27:02,788 --> 00:27:04,823
Well now, wait a minute.
386
00:27:04,824 --> 00:27:07,225
Why should you pay?
387
00:27:07,226 --> 00:27:10,128
Well, it's traditional
for the bride's family
388
00:27:10,129 --> 00:27:12,097
to cover expenses.
389
00:27:12,098 --> 00:27:16,367
Yes, but there
are two brides here.
390
00:27:17,403 --> 00:27:19,938
Well I just thought that because
391
00:27:19,939 --> 00:27:23,141
we re really
extremely supportive.
392
00:27:23,142 --> 00:27:25,810
Now hey, I don't
think that's very fair.
393
00:27:25,811 --> 00:27:27,412
Sal was a little taken aback
394
00:27:27,413 --> 00:27:29,114
when Zilla said she
wanted to get married
395
00:27:29,115 --> 00:27:30,782
because she's so young.
396
00:27:30,783 --> 00:27:33,251
That doesn't mean
he's not supportive.
397
00:27:33,252 --> 00:27:35,120
He's very supportive.
398
00:27:35,121 --> 00:27:37,187
Are you?
399
00:27:39,392 --> 00:27:41,742
Yes.
400
00:27:41,743 --> 00:27:44,095
Sal has raised these two
little girls all on his own
401
00:27:44,096 --> 00:27:47,832
and yes, he gets a little surly
sometimes, don't get me wrong.
402
00:27:47,833 --> 00:27:50,068
He has a lot of weaknesses.
403
00:27:50,069 --> 00:27:54,305
Frankly, he's terrifying if you
wake him up early in the morning
404
00:27:54,306 --> 00:27:57,709
and if you spill just a little
bit of furniture varnish
405
00:27:57,710 --> 00:28:00,445
in the laundry machine..
406
00:28:00,446 --> 00:28:01,913
Watch out.
407
00:28:01,914 --> 00:28:02,814
He's also...
408
00:28:02,815 --> 00:28:05,817
Ahem, thanks Oscar.
409
00:28:05,818 --> 00:28:11,022
But overall he
is a very good guy.
410
00:28:11,023 --> 00:28:13,825
And so if you want to
have this competition of
411
00:28:13,826 --> 00:28:16,828
who's the most supportive parent
412
00:28:16,829 --> 00:28:20,230
I would like to nominate
Sal as a very strong contender.
413
00:28:26,906 --> 00:28:29,207
I'm not competing.
414
00:28:29,208 --> 00:28:34,078
We would be happy to
host Lu and Zilla's wedding.
415
00:28:34,947 --> 00:28:37,816
And we ll do everything
we can to make it special.
416
00:28:37,817 --> 00:28:42,853
Well if we host the
wedding, we ll go all out.
417
00:28:43,155 --> 00:28:47,959
Couldn't you both
host the wedding?
418
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,027
Jointly?
419
00:28:50,429 --> 00:28:55,834
I suppose we
could consider that.
420
00:28:55,835 --> 00:28:59,804
This is going to be
the best wedding since
421
00:28:59,805 --> 00:29:02,173
Prince William
and Kate Middleton!
422
00:29:02,174 --> 00:29:03,174
But we don't want.
423
00:29:03,175 --> 00:29:04,843
Now nonsense, sweetheart.
424
00:29:04,844 --> 00:29:08,113
Everyone says they
don't want a big wedding
425
00:29:08,114 --> 00:29:10,982
but I know it's
every girl's dream.
426
00:29:10,983 --> 00:29:16,053
And I know it's hard to plan a
wedding without your mother.
427
00:29:16,422 --> 00:29:19,457
But I've always
wanted another daughter
428
00:29:19,458 --> 00:29:23,261
and it doesn't look like I ll be
acquiring one via these buffoons
429
00:29:23,262 --> 00:29:26,431
any time soon.
430
00:29:26,432 --> 00:29:29,000
I'd be honored
431
00:29:29,001 --> 00:29:31,468
if you'd try to think
of me in that role.
432
00:29:32,905 --> 00:29:34,939
I ll be your new mother.
433
00:29:35,975 --> 00:29:38,543
Mr. Balicki.
434
00:29:38,544 --> 00:29:41,812
I want you to
know that I found Fifi.
435
00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:48,820
Shorn.
436
00:29:48,821 --> 00:29:50,488
Humiliated.
437
00:29:50,489 --> 00:29:52,556
In hiding..
438
00:29:54,493 --> 00:29:56,560
Sweetheart.
439
00:30:13,245 --> 00:30:15,446
Zoe.
440
00:30:15,447 --> 00:30:19,017
Did you..
441
00:30:19,018 --> 00:30:22,921
Shave this dog?
442
00:30:22,922 --> 00:30:26,424
No...
443
00:30:26,425 --> 00:30:30,494
I used your gardening shears.
444
00:30:32,031 --> 00:30:33,998
That's it.
445
00:30:33,999 --> 00:30:36,367
I don't know what's
gotten into you lately but
446
00:30:36,368 --> 00:30:41,039
all this horror stuff
is getting too weird.
447
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:41,940
Give me that camera.
448
00:30:41,941 --> 00:30:42,941
But Dad...
449
00:30:42,942 --> 00:30:46,009
I'm serious.
Hand it over.
450
00:30:49,515 --> 00:30:52,050
No more horror films.
451
00:30:52,051 --> 00:30:55,118
If you want to film
something you can film..
452
00:30:59,925 --> 00:31:01,960
Your sister's wedding.
453
00:31:01,961 --> 00:31:04,027
Nothing else.
454
00:31:55,347 --> 00:31:57,414
Aaaaahhh!
455
00:32:28,447 --> 00:32:30,448
I need you to be
here in ten minutes
456
00:32:30,449 --> 00:32:33,284
with your werewolf costume
and a carton of denture wax.
457
00:32:33,285 --> 00:32:35,086
I ll see if I can
skip chess practice.
458
00:32:35,087 --> 00:32:36,421
But how come it's so important?
459
00:32:36,422 --> 00:32:38,222
Okay.
460
00:32:38,223 --> 00:32:40,024
You know those severed fingers
I was marinating in the fridge?
461
00:32:40,025 --> 00:32:42,042
Yeah.
462
00:32:42,043 --> 00:32:44,062
Well, Lu's mother came
downstairs dressed as a ghoul.
463
00:32:44,063 --> 00:32:45,964
Why would she
be dressed as a ghoul?
464
00:32:45,965 --> 00:32:47,565
I don't know, but she was.
465
00:32:47,566 --> 00:32:51,502
And she saw
the fingers and screamed.
466
00:32:51,503 --> 00:32:55,106
So I realized that
we can make a horror film
467
00:32:55,107 --> 00:32:59,176
without anybody realizing
that they re in the horror film.
468
00:33:00,679 --> 00:33:04,182
I'm... so confused right now.
469
00:33:04,183 --> 00:33:07,250
Never mind. Just come
over and I ll explain later.
470
00:33:12,424 --> 00:33:14,325
Did you sleep well?
471
00:33:14,326 --> 00:33:17,828
Yeah.
472
00:33:17,829 --> 00:33:21,332
There were a couple things
under the cushions, but..
473
00:33:21,333 --> 00:33:24,001
Once I took them
out, I slept great.
474
00:33:26,305 --> 00:33:28,005
Oh God.
475
00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:29,707
Could you avoid the
public displays of affection?
476
00:33:29,708 --> 00:33:30,708
We re eating.
477
00:33:30,709 --> 00:33:32,543
We just got engaged, Dad.
478
00:33:32,544 --> 00:33:34,545
Be grateful we re not
making out on the coffee table.
479
00:33:34,546 --> 00:33:36,681
Yes, thank you for that.
480
00:33:36,682 --> 00:33:38,549
I couldn't help noticing
481
00:33:38,550 --> 00:33:42,286
that the pickle jar is full of..
482
00:33:42,287 --> 00:33:43,287
Fingers.
483
00:33:43,288 --> 00:33:46,024
Oh yeah. That's Zoe.
484
00:33:46,025 --> 00:33:49,427
My advice would be if you re
squeamish about anything like
485
00:33:49,428 --> 00:33:51,396
severed body parts..
486
00:33:51,397 --> 00:33:54,065
Never open the fridge.
487
00:33:54,066 --> 00:33:57,235
Eat canned food.
488
00:33:57,236 --> 00:34:00,254
Well..
489
00:34:00,255 --> 00:34:03,274
This is going to
be a marvelous day!
490
00:34:03,275 --> 00:34:06,310
Wedding dress shopping!
491
00:34:06,311 --> 00:34:07,678
Wedding dress shopping?
492
00:34:07,679 --> 00:34:10,148
If Mom can
incorporate shopping
493
00:34:10,149 --> 00:34:12,283
into her daily
routine, she will.
494
00:34:12,284 --> 00:34:16,054
Shopping for that kind of girly
stuff really makes me nervous.
495
00:34:16,055 --> 00:34:19,190
All those perfume smells..
And the makeup counter..
496
00:34:19,191 --> 00:34:22,260
Well, we only have a
month to plan the wedding.
497
00:34:22,261 --> 00:34:25,063
Dresses take time.
498
00:34:25,064 --> 00:34:28,499
Are you sure you
don't want to rethink.
499
00:34:28,500 --> 00:34:30,168
Mom.
500
00:34:30,169 --> 00:34:33,571
The wedding has to be in June.
501
00:34:33,572 --> 00:34:35,606
My residency starts in July.
502
00:34:35,607 --> 00:34:37,542
Saturday June 30th
503
00:34:37,543 --> 00:34:39,110
end of story.
504
00:34:39,111 --> 00:34:41,746
Then shopping is
definitely in order.
505
00:34:41,747 --> 00:34:46,817
In fact, we'd better shop
for the entire bridal party!
506
00:34:48,487 --> 00:34:52,090
Will you be joining us?
507
00:34:52,091 --> 00:34:57,127
Um, no. Thank you for the
thought. I have to work.
508
00:34:57,429 --> 00:35:02,499
Oscar will be going
along to represent the family.
509
00:35:04,703 --> 00:35:08,106
You don't work?
510
00:35:08,107 --> 00:35:11,142
Um, I would say I'm temporarily
511
00:35:11,143 --> 00:35:15,446
on a leave of
absence from official duties.
512
00:35:15,447 --> 00:35:17,348
You re unemployed.
513
00:35:17,349 --> 00:35:20,817
This is Portland.
Unemployment is more like...
514
00:35:22,754 --> 00:35:25,756
an art form.
515
00:35:25,757 --> 00:35:28,392
Can I come shopping?
516
00:35:28,393 --> 00:35:31,662
I'm sorry,
you want to go shopping?
517
00:35:31,663 --> 00:35:34,298
And since we ll be
doing wedding stuff
518
00:35:34,299 --> 00:35:38,803
I ll need my camera.
519
00:35:38,804 --> 00:35:40,872
I can shoot
the wedding planning.
520
00:35:40,873 --> 00:35:42,406
Like a documentary.
521
00:35:42,407 --> 00:35:46,511
Documentaries are educational.
522
00:35:46,512 --> 00:35:49,413
Fine.
523
00:35:49,414 --> 00:35:52,416
But I don't want any
weird horror stuff, alright?
524
00:35:52,417 --> 00:35:53,851
Have you thought about
525
00:35:53,852 --> 00:35:56,687
who's going to be
in your bridal party?
526
00:35:56,688 --> 00:35:59,106
Oh yes.
527
00:35:59,107 --> 00:36:01,526
Well of course Matt, Mark
and John will be on Lu's side.
528
00:36:01,527 --> 00:36:04,262
And on my side I ll have my
two best friends from Portland
529
00:36:04,263 --> 00:36:05,429
Pat and Angie.
530
00:36:05,430 --> 00:36:07,832
And Zoe's going
to be my flower girl!
531
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:23,514
You re Pat.
532
00:36:23,515 --> 00:36:24,682
Patrick.
533
00:36:24,683 --> 00:36:26,551
It's so nice to meet you.
534
00:36:26,552 --> 00:36:30,922
Oh, no. Sorry guys,
but I promised your dad.
535
00:36:30,923 --> 00:36:33,590
No more horror stuff.
536
00:36:52,244 --> 00:36:54,245
How much to
unlock the rental car?
537
00:36:54,246 --> 00:36:56,714
How about ten bucks?
538
00:36:56,715 --> 00:36:58,649
We don't have that much.
539
00:36:58,650 --> 00:37:00,718
Maybe you could earn it.
540
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:02,486
What would we have to do?
541
00:37:02,487 --> 00:37:05,923
I think a good prank would be a
timely diversion right about now
542
00:37:05,924 --> 00:37:07,658
I don't know any pranks.
543
00:37:07,659 --> 00:37:10,727
You ll have to think of one.
544
00:37:12,965 --> 00:37:15,616
Okay.
545
00:37:15,617 --> 00:37:18,269
What if we go into the shop
and hide everybody's clothes?
546
00:37:18,270 --> 00:37:20,338
And when they re done
trying on wedding stuff,
547
00:37:20,339 --> 00:37:25,676
all their clothes will be
gone and everyone will scream.
548
00:37:25,677 --> 00:37:27,744
You re on.
549
00:37:41,526 --> 00:37:44,428
There's my little flower girl!
550
00:37:44,429 --> 00:37:46,496
We've got to get you
into your dress, dear.
551
00:37:58,377 --> 00:38:00,978
Um, where do I put my clothes?
552
00:38:00,979 --> 00:38:04,047
We can put them in
a garment bag for you, dear.
553
00:38:36,615 --> 00:38:39,850
Alright, I did it.
Now give me the keys.
554
00:38:39,851 --> 00:38:41,652
Nice dress.
555
00:38:41,653 --> 00:38:43,554
I'd keep the
comments about the dress
556
00:38:43,555 --> 00:38:46,022
to a minimum if I were you.
557
00:38:53,432 --> 00:38:56,567
Okay. The werewolf
just climbed out of his coffin
558
00:38:56,568 --> 00:38:59,070
and he's wandering
around town lonely.
559
00:38:59,071 --> 00:39:01,438
He wants friends.
560
00:39:01,439 --> 00:39:03,808
But no one will be friends with
him because he's a monster.
561
00:39:03,809 --> 00:39:07,745
The only way he can make friends
is if they become monsters too.
562
00:39:07,746 --> 00:39:09,413
So he has to bite someone.
563
00:39:09,414 --> 00:39:12,917
Action.
564
00:39:12,918 --> 00:39:16,487
Now that is adorable.
565
00:39:16,488 --> 00:39:20,591
Oh, and what about this one?
566
00:39:20,592 --> 00:39:23,527
Would you like to
try a mother-of-the-bride dress?
567
00:39:23,528 --> 00:39:26,730
Ooh, that would be lovely!
568
00:39:32,671 --> 00:39:34,705
I don't know,
it's kind of dumpy.
569
00:39:34,706 --> 00:39:35,906
I don't feel like any of these
570
00:39:35,907 --> 00:39:43,080
really capture my
true personality.
571
00:39:43,081 --> 00:39:45,482
You have to get higher up.
572
00:40:04,569 --> 00:40:07,638
But this would
look lovely on you!
573
00:40:07,639 --> 00:40:10,474
Mom, you know
I don't wear dresses.
574
00:40:10,475 --> 00:40:12,977
You don't normally
get married either Lu
575
00:40:12,978 --> 00:40:15,579
but I was hoping you
could make an exception
576
00:40:15,580 --> 00:40:18,449
for the most
elaborate day of your life.
577
00:40:18,450 --> 00:40:20,551
Now darling
578
00:40:20,552 --> 00:40:24,721
this would look
absolutely fabulous on you.
579
00:40:28,660 --> 00:40:32,963
Doesn't it just leave
you at a loss for words?
580
00:40:32,964 --> 00:40:34,031
Yes.
581
00:40:34,032 --> 00:40:36,801
Now this is me.
582
00:40:36,802 --> 00:40:39,904
Excuse me,
but that is out of the question.
583
00:40:39,905 --> 00:40:43,174
We are planning a
classic, black tie wedding.
584
00:40:43,175 --> 00:40:44,208
Oh, in Portland?
585
00:40:44,209 --> 00:40:46,777
I don't think I own a black tie.
586
00:40:46,778 --> 00:40:49,547
Well, it's your niece's
wedding. You can buy one.
587
00:40:49,548 --> 00:40:52,116
If Pat gets to wear
that, I want to wear this.
588
00:40:52,117 --> 00:40:53,517
Picture it with combat boots.
589
00:40:53,518 --> 00:40:55,119
Absolutely not.
590
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,188
What we re going to need for
her is something with sleeves.
591
00:40:57,189 --> 00:40:58,955
Excuse me
592
00:40:58,956 --> 00:41:00,724
but I feel like my accoutrement
preferences are not being..
593
00:41:00,725 --> 00:41:02,742
Respected?
594
00:41:02,743 --> 00:41:04,762
I mean, I'm wearing pants.
Why can't he wear a dress?
595
00:41:04,763 --> 00:41:08,532
How come she gets to
wear pants and I don't?
596
00:41:08,533 --> 00:41:12,036
Hey. You re at a here, and I
need to see you at a here.
597
00:41:12,037 --> 00:41:13,737
I'd also be willing to wear
the blue taffeta
598
00:41:13,738 --> 00:41:15,138
with rhinestones.
599
00:41:15,139 --> 00:41:16,540
Maybe everyone
should wear all black.
600
00:41:16,541 --> 00:41:18,843
Ordinarily I think
rhinestones are super tacky
601
00:41:18,844 --> 00:41:20,678
but this is a wedding,
and we have to sparkle.
602
00:41:20,679 --> 00:41:22,146
Who are you, Liberace?
603
00:41:22,147 --> 00:41:24,482
I just want everyone
to feel comfortable..
604
00:41:24,483 --> 00:41:27,317
Comfortable? In that?
605
00:41:27,318 --> 00:41:30,154
Hey, I saw this exact same
look in the June issue of Vogue.
606
00:41:30,155 --> 00:41:31,822
On a man or a woman?
607
00:41:31,823 --> 00:41:33,257
I told you
we should have eloped.
608
00:41:33,258 --> 00:41:34,992
I volunteer to wear a tuxedo
609
00:41:34,993 --> 00:41:36,894
to balance out Pat's
slutty barmaid costume.
610
00:41:36,895 --> 00:41:38,863
It's not a slutty
barmaid costume
611
00:41:38,864 --> 00:41:40,064
it's a gown!
612
00:41:40,065 --> 00:41:42,500
I am not wearing a dress!
613
00:41:42,501 --> 00:41:47,505
This is not just choose
your favorite gender day!
614
00:41:47,506 --> 00:41:49,873
There are RULES.
615
00:41:53,512 --> 00:41:54,812
Where are the garment bags?
616
00:41:54,813 --> 00:41:56,247
The ones in the shipping closet?
617
00:41:56,248 --> 00:41:58,883
I sent them out on the
delivery truck half an hour ago.
618
00:41:58,884 --> 00:42:00,985
I didn't hang them
in the shipping closet.
619
00:42:00,986 --> 00:42:02,920
I hung them in
the dressing rooms.
620
00:42:02,921 --> 00:42:04,955
Those were not gowns.
621
00:42:04,956 --> 00:42:07,591
Those were everyone's clothes!
622
00:42:07,592 --> 00:42:09,026
Action!
623
00:42:09,027 --> 00:42:12,095
Grrrrraaaaauuuuuugggghhhh!!!
624
00:42:16,568 --> 00:42:21,272
Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!
625
00:42:21,273 --> 00:42:24,942
Get off of me! Get off of me
get off of me, get off of me
626
00:42:24,943 --> 00:42:27,678
I will put you
in your grave, little man!
627
00:42:27,679 --> 00:42:29,746
Mom! Mom!
628
00:42:37,088 --> 00:42:40,156
I will win! I will win..
629
00:42:49,568 --> 00:42:52,635
The damage comes to
$5,000 in ruined property.
630
00:43:22,767 --> 00:43:25,035
You can't even go
wedding dress shopping
631
00:43:25,036 --> 00:43:26,971
without getting arrested?
632
00:43:26,972 --> 00:43:30,808
It was a
complicated situation, bro.
633
00:43:30,809 --> 00:43:32,710
Oscar.
634
00:43:32,711 --> 00:43:35,212
I asked you to
represent the family's interests
635
00:43:35,213 --> 00:43:38,281
and they ended up
in jail.
636
00:43:46,224 --> 00:43:49,760
Roar! Rar!
637
00:43:49,761 --> 00:43:53,830
Aaaaaaahhh!!! What is-Ack! Eek!
638
00:43:58,103 --> 00:43:59,770
Rar!
639
00:43:59,771 --> 00:44:01,838
Aaaaaaahhh.
640
00:44:13,918 --> 00:44:17,221
Roaaaar!
641
00:44:17,222 --> 00:44:19,288
Aaaaaaahhh!!!
642
00:44:49,220 --> 00:44:51,888
Roaaauuughhh!
643
00:45:19,084 --> 00:45:21,952
Rooaaaauurr!
644
00:45:21,953 --> 00:45:24,387
Aaaaaaaaahh!
645
00:46:05,930 --> 00:46:08,966
I mean it's got to be
about a wedding, right?
646
00:46:08,967 --> 00:46:11,802
We re only allowed
to shoot wedding stuff.
647
00:46:11,803 --> 00:46:14,505
So the werewolf goes into
this wedding shop trying to
648
00:46:14,506 --> 00:46:17,941
bite people and
he looks up and sees a bride.
649
00:46:17,942 --> 00:46:21,445
And he falls in love.
650
00:46:21,446 --> 00:46:23,246
I don't know..
651
00:46:23,247 --> 00:46:25,048
Falling in love
isn't as cool as biting people.
652
00:46:25,049 --> 00:46:28,018
Francis, of course
he's going to bite people
653
00:46:28,019 --> 00:46:29,987
but there's got to be a plot.
654
00:46:29,988 --> 00:46:33,056
We can't be too picky,
the deadline's in three weeks.
655
00:46:33,057 --> 00:46:35,526
I don't see why they have
to get married in a church.
656
00:46:35,527 --> 00:46:38,829
I've always dreamed of seeing
my daughter married in a church.
657
00:46:38,830 --> 00:46:41,198
Besides,
weddings should be religious.
658
00:46:41,199 --> 00:46:42,533
We re Jewish.
659
00:46:42,534 --> 00:46:44,201
Non-practicing.
660
00:46:44,202 --> 00:46:46,586
Fine.
661
00:46:46,587 --> 00:46:48,972
So find a rabbi who's willing to
perform a same-sex marriage
662
00:46:48,973 --> 00:46:51,508
for non-practicing Jews,
and he can be there too.
663
00:46:51,509 --> 00:46:53,977
I found the perfect church.
664
00:46:53,978 --> 00:46:55,512
They re non-denominational,
665
00:46:55,513 --> 00:46:58,581
and they simply love the gays.
666
00:47:00,985 --> 00:47:02,486
Why is Francis here?
667
00:47:02,487 --> 00:47:04,955
Why is Francis always here?
668
00:47:04,956 --> 00:47:07,057
Francis, why are you
wearing this thing?
669
00:47:07,058 --> 00:47:08,392
I thought you were allergic.
670
00:47:08,393 --> 00:47:10,194
I have to practice, Mr. B.
671
00:47:10,195 --> 00:47:11,929
Well if you re coming
to the church with us
672
00:47:11,930 --> 00:47:13,463
you need to
at least take the mask off.
673
00:47:13,464 --> 00:47:16,032
It's not appropriate.
674
00:47:18,536 --> 00:47:21,238
Yeah, put it back on.
675
00:47:21,239 --> 00:47:23,974
I think it's fair to say
Mom won yesterday's brawl.
676
00:47:23,975 --> 00:47:26,577
Matt, honestly
it wasn't a brawl.
677
00:47:26,578 --> 00:47:29,079
It was a simple
miscommunication.
678
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:32,082
I couldn't help noticing
that I was being strangled
679
00:47:32,083 --> 00:47:34,017
so I reacted defensively.
680
00:47:34,018 --> 00:47:35,886
All's well that ends well.
681
00:47:35,887 --> 00:47:38,455
You consider doing jail time
ending well, do you?
682
00:47:38,456 --> 00:47:40,891
Well, we got what we came for.
683
00:47:40,892 --> 00:47:43,994
The dresses were purchased,
you could say we broke them in
684
00:47:43,995 --> 00:47:47,097
and Zilla and
Zoe will look lovely.
685
00:47:47,098 --> 00:47:49,032
As for the bridesmaids.
686
00:47:49,033 --> 00:47:52,169
I simply plan not to look at
that half of the wedding photos.
687
00:47:52,170 --> 00:47:55,238
Where is Zilla? It's time to go.
688
00:47:58,076 --> 00:47:59,943
You know..
689
00:47:59,944 --> 00:48:01,511
This dress we picked out..
690
00:48:01,512 --> 00:48:04,081
It's not really my style.
691
00:48:04,082 --> 00:48:05,649
I know it's not.
692
00:48:05,650 --> 00:48:09,286
I thought it was
some secret inner girliness
693
00:48:09,287 --> 00:48:11,922
coming out
after all these years.
694
00:48:11,923 --> 00:48:16,927
No, it's just...
Your mom really liked it.
695
00:48:16,928 --> 00:48:20,063
It's our wedding.
If you don't like it, return it.
696
00:48:20,064 --> 00:48:22,531
I don't want to
hurt your mother's feelings.
697
00:48:23,101 --> 00:48:25,669
Well, if you care more
about what other people think
698
00:48:25,670 --> 00:48:28,938
than being who
you are, then wear it.
699
00:48:33,111 --> 00:48:36,380
I don't get it, Zill. Either you
wear the dress or you return it.
700
00:48:36,381 --> 00:48:39,449
Those are your
only two options, right?
701
00:48:39,450 --> 00:48:41,517
Right.
702
00:48:42,186 --> 00:48:45,254
So what's the big deal?
703
00:48:50,461 --> 00:48:53,412
What is this?
704
00:48:53,413 --> 00:48:56,366
Oh, it's Portland. People
like to let each other go first.
705
00:48:56,367 --> 00:48:57,401
You go first.
706
00:48:57,402 --> 00:49:00,437
No, you go first..
707
00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:03,240
No, no, you go first.
708
00:49:03,241 --> 00:49:04,675
Son of a bitch.
709
00:49:04,676 --> 00:49:05,676
You go first.
710
00:49:05,677 --> 00:49:06,710
You go first!
711
00:49:06,711 --> 00:49:08,945
I won't!
712
00:49:12,016 --> 00:49:15,352
Well! You are
going to love this church.
713
00:49:15,353 --> 00:49:17,621
It is absolutely charming.
714
00:49:17,622 --> 00:49:20,991
I'm not really sure about
getting married in a church..
715
00:49:20,992 --> 00:49:23,360
I always imagined
an outdoor wedding.
716
00:49:23,361 --> 00:49:25,362
Well they have
very large windows.
717
00:49:25,363 --> 00:49:28,565
So that's almost
like being outside.
718
00:49:28,566 --> 00:49:32,035
So, the werewolf
falls in love with the bride.
719
00:49:32,036 --> 00:49:34,471
What would he do next?
720
00:49:34,472 --> 00:49:38,175
Would he maybe eat something?
721
00:49:38,176 --> 00:49:40,210
No, that's not what people
do when they re in love.
722
00:49:40,211 --> 00:49:42,612
They recite poetry and stuff.
723
00:49:42,613 --> 00:49:44,414
But you re not
ready to do that yet
724
00:49:44,415 --> 00:49:46,083
because you have a problem...
725
00:49:46,084 --> 00:49:48,652
The bride's in love
with someone else.
726
00:49:48,653 --> 00:49:51,021
So here's your
mission in the church.
727
00:49:51,022 --> 00:49:53,156
Make Zilla break up with Lu
728
00:49:53,157 --> 00:49:56,559
and fall in
love with you instead.
729
00:50:00,498 --> 00:50:01,999
It is nice.
730
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,066
See?
731
00:50:24,155 --> 00:50:26,289
Welcome!
732
00:50:26,290 --> 00:50:28,425
I'm Pastor Bob and
this is my wife, Earth.
733
00:50:28,426 --> 00:50:30,160
You must be joking.
734
00:50:30,161 --> 00:50:33,730
No. My kids
call me Mother Earth.
735
00:50:33,731 --> 00:50:35,766
Her parents were hippies.
736
00:50:35,767 --> 00:50:38,235
Apparently it's genetic.
737
00:50:38,236 --> 00:50:43,240
This is my daughter
Luna and Zilla, her future...
738
00:50:43,241 --> 00:50:46,510
...What would you
call it, partner? Helpmate?
739
00:50:46,511 --> 00:50:48,111
Wife.
740
00:50:48,112 --> 00:50:49,579
Oh, just like us!
741
00:50:49,580 --> 00:50:52,416
Yes, just like regular people.
742
00:50:52,417 --> 00:50:56,153
Oh my God, I've never been
inside an actual church before.
743
00:50:56,154 --> 00:50:57,587
This is adorable!
744
00:50:57,588 --> 00:50:59,723
Zilla and Lu could
get married right now.
745
00:50:59,724 --> 00:51:02,526
I ll make the toast!
746
00:51:02,527 --> 00:51:04,528
To Zilla and Lu.
747
00:51:04,529 --> 00:51:06,329
I hope your daughters
aren't dirty sluts
748
00:51:06,330 --> 00:51:09,132
like we were in high school.
749
00:51:09,133 --> 00:51:12,201
That's the Blood of Christ.
750
00:51:16,441 --> 00:51:20,477
Yeah, that's very nice, Zoe.
751
00:51:20,478 --> 00:51:23,447
Now the first step to getting
married at the Church of Peace
752
00:51:23,448 --> 00:51:25,682
is to do an interview
of the significant parties.
753
00:51:25,683 --> 00:51:29,419
So if the significant parties
could step right this way..
754
00:51:29,420 --> 00:51:32,122
We re all significant.
755
00:51:32,123 --> 00:51:34,825
Okay, we ll get more chairs.
756
00:51:34,826 --> 00:51:37,427
Alright, make
Zilla fall in love with you.
757
00:51:37,428 --> 00:51:39,462
Action.
758
00:51:45,236 --> 00:51:46,803
Is there a problem?
759
00:51:46,804 --> 00:51:49,106
How do you make a
girl fall in love with you?
760
00:51:49,107 --> 00:51:52,174
I don't know. You ll probably
have to kiss her or something.
761
00:51:54,345 --> 00:51:56,229
So tell me.
762
00:51:56,230 --> 00:51:58,115
What makes you want to get
married at the Church of Peace
763
00:51:58,116 --> 00:52:01,184
Well, the building is charming.
764
00:52:01,185 --> 00:52:03,420
I mean it's precious.
765
00:52:03,421 --> 00:52:05,422
And also,
you re Christian, right?
766
00:52:05,423 --> 00:52:07,124
Well, of course!
767
00:52:07,125 --> 00:52:10,293
And when was the last time each
of you actually went to church?
768
00:52:10,294 --> 00:52:14,731
Ah well, that would be
at my godson's baptism in
769
00:52:14,732 --> 00:52:17,300
um.. Oh, um.
770
00:52:17,301 --> 00:52:19,368
1987?
771
00:52:20,505 --> 00:52:22,205
It was more recent than that.
772
00:52:22,206 --> 00:52:24,741
And I'm sure there have
been several times in between.
773
00:52:24,742 --> 00:52:27,526
And the rest of you?
774
00:52:27,527 --> 00:52:30,313
I guess that would be
my marriage to my ex-wife.
775
00:52:30,314 --> 00:52:33,383
Which was sixteen years ago.
776
00:52:33,384 --> 00:52:35,185
My father's funeral.
777
00:52:35,186 --> 00:52:37,203
Which is ironic
778
00:52:37,204 --> 00:52:39,222
because that son-of-a-bitch
is almost definitely in hell.
779
00:52:39,223 --> 00:52:41,858
I'm Jewish.
780
00:52:41,859 --> 00:52:43,627
I can't just kiss her.
781
00:52:43,628 --> 00:52:47,531
Besides, my werewolf
nose will get in the way.
782
00:52:47,532 --> 00:52:50,200
Give her a hug then.
783
00:52:50,201 --> 00:52:54,604
Maybe we ll just skip
along to the next question.
784
00:52:54,605 --> 00:52:58,341
Do you believe in
God the Father Almighty
785
00:52:58,342 --> 00:53:01,578
who sacrificed his
only begotten Son
786
00:53:01,579 --> 00:53:03,246
to save us from our sins?
787
00:53:03,247 --> 00:53:04,247
No.
788
00:53:04,248 --> 00:53:05,248
Dad.
789
00:53:05,249 --> 00:53:07,584
What? I'm an atheist.
790
00:53:07,585 --> 00:53:10,653
Me too! We have
so much in common.
791
00:53:15,259 --> 00:53:17,726
Um, thanks Francis.
792
00:53:24,635 --> 00:53:27,470
I don't think she went for it.
793
00:53:27,471 --> 00:53:30,674
That was my
best possible hug.
794
00:53:30,675 --> 00:53:32,909
Well, try to take
things to the next level.
795
00:53:32,910 --> 00:53:33,977
I'm a Jew
796
00:53:33,978 --> 00:53:35,679
who converted to Catholicism
797
00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:38,648
to marry my ex-wife
then got divorced
798
00:53:38,649 --> 00:53:41,751
which completely goes against
the rules of Catholicism.
799
00:53:41,752 --> 00:53:44,821
So I'm not really
sure what I am now.
800
00:53:44,822 --> 00:53:46,656
I'm a Neo-Mennonite.
801
00:53:46,657 --> 00:53:48,391
Excuse me?
802
00:53:48,392 --> 00:53:50,459
Wicca.
803
00:53:52,763 --> 00:53:55,398
Okay well, um
804
00:53:55,399 --> 00:53:58,335
what really matters here
is what the brides believe.
805
00:53:58,336 --> 00:54:00,237
So, Lu and Zilla?
806
00:54:00,238 --> 00:54:02,405
I would describe
myself as Christian.
807
00:54:02,406 --> 00:54:03,540
You would?
808
00:54:03,541 --> 00:54:05,308
Yeah.
809
00:54:05,309 --> 00:54:07,377
Oh. Well...
810
00:54:07,378 --> 00:54:09,779
I guess I'm not really
sure what I believe in.
811
00:54:09,780 --> 00:54:11,982
I mean, it seems to me like
812
00:54:11,983 --> 00:54:15,285
a lot of religions could
be on the right track.
813
00:54:15,286 --> 00:54:17,921
But I do believe in spirituality
and being nice to people.
814
00:54:17,922 --> 00:54:20,990
Francis, get the hell off me..
815
00:54:26,697 --> 00:54:30,533
I don't usually swear.
816
00:54:30,534 --> 00:54:32,502
That was pathetic.
817
00:54:32,503 --> 00:54:35,505
Obviously, she's a lesbian.
818
00:54:35,506 --> 00:54:36,706
Next question...
819
00:54:36,707 --> 00:54:40,010
Um, if you were to have children
820
00:54:40,011 --> 00:54:42,779
would you raise
them in the Christian faith?
821
00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:44,948
We haven't
really discussed that.
822
00:54:44,949 --> 00:54:46,783
What have you discussed?
823
00:54:46,784 --> 00:54:48,752
You don't even
know what religion she is.
824
00:54:48,753 --> 00:54:50,754
We've discussed
that we love each other.
825
00:54:50,755 --> 00:54:52,856
So you re divorced
826
00:54:52,857 --> 00:54:56,593
your sister is divorced,
your brother is divorced
827
00:54:56,594 --> 00:54:58,662
and your parents were divorced?
828
00:54:58,663 --> 00:55:00,813
Yeah.
829
00:55:00,814 --> 00:55:02,966
Basically everyone in
my family gets divorced.
830
00:55:02,967 --> 00:55:04,367
Hey, Pastor Bob?
831
00:55:04,368 --> 00:55:05,902
Delivery from
Stump Town Funeral?
832
00:55:05,903 --> 00:55:08,872
Oh, yes. If you could
just put it by the organ.
833
00:55:08,873 --> 00:55:10,974
One of our parishioners
passed this week
834
00:55:10,975 --> 00:55:13,943
so the family asked if they
could deliver the casket here.
835
00:55:13,944 --> 00:55:16,513
It's made from
Oregon pine and Eco-friendly
836
00:55:16,514 --> 00:55:18,348
pesticide-free glue.
837
00:55:18,349 --> 00:55:19,683
Oh, good.
838
00:55:19,684 --> 00:55:22,085
Because I'd hate to be
poisoned with pesticide
839
00:55:22,086 --> 00:55:25,588
on top of already being dead.
840
00:55:25,589 --> 00:55:27,957
Look, can we move things along?
841
00:55:27,958 --> 00:55:30,360
Evidently,
I have to go pick up the wine
842
00:55:30,361 --> 00:55:33,429
and I need to take these
three little faggots with me..
843
00:55:36,701 --> 00:55:38,435
Oh, I'm sorry.
844
00:55:38,436 --> 00:55:42,504
Is that word no longer
PC because of this situation?
845
00:55:44,742 --> 00:55:47,644
It-it was never..
846
00:55:47,645 --> 00:55:52,082
Oh, please don't touch that!
That's someone else's coffin.
847
00:55:52,083 --> 00:55:55,785
Well.
To return to the interview..
848
00:55:55,786 --> 00:55:58,488
Do you follow the
Ten Commandments?
849
00:55:58,489 --> 00:55:59,989
What exactly are those again?
850
00:55:59,990 --> 00:56:01,890
You know
851
00:56:01,891 --> 00:56:03,793
thou shalt not lie, thou
shalt not break the Sabbath..
852
00:56:03,794 --> 00:56:08,498
I sometimes break the Sabbath
853
00:56:08,499 --> 00:56:11,134
even though
I'm disputably Catholic.
854
00:56:11,135 --> 00:56:12,635
How?
855
00:56:12,636 --> 00:56:14,371
Well you know
856
00:56:14,372 --> 00:56:16,039
if I need money?
857
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:18,675
Sometimes I just take it.
858
00:56:18,676 --> 00:56:20,477
From whom?
859
00:56:20,478 --> 00:56:22,445
Usually from my mom's purse.
860
00:56:22,446 --> 00:56:24,581
You steal from Mom?
861
00:56:24,582 --> 00:56:27,016
She would give me the money
if I asked her
862
00:56:27,017 --> 00:56:29,018
but she can't hear!
863
00:56:29,019 --> 00:56:30,903
Hurry, get in
864
00:56:30,904 --> 00:56:32,789
and we can reshoot the
coffin scene before anyone sees.
865
00:56:32,790 --> 00:56:33,990
Are you sure?
866
00:56:33,991 --> 00:56:36,393
Of course.
Nobody else is using it.
867
00:56:36,394 --> 00:56:39,596
So what you re
saying is that you
868
00:56:39,597 --> 00:56:41,798
do sometimes steal
869
00:56:41,799 --> 00:56:44,466
from your
mother on the Sabbath.
870
00:56:49,607 --> 00:56:50,507
Yes.
871
00:56:50,508 --> 00:56:51,641
You idiot!
872
00:56:51,642 --> 00:56:52,909
Okay, look.
873
00:56:52,910 --> 00:56:55,978
Let's cut to the chase.
How much do you want?
874
00:56:56,747 --> 00:56:58,814
Excuse me?
875
00:56:58,815 --> 00:57:00,884
What does a normal family
pay to get married here?
876
00:57:00,885 --> 00:57:02,951
We ll double it.
877
00:57:17,668 --> 00:57:21,070
You.. Can't..
878
00:57:21,071 --> 00:57:25,642
Get married here..
879
00:57:25,643 --> 00:57:28,710
Mm mm. No.
880
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:38,087
Isn't it a little un-Christian
881
00:57:38,088 --> 00:57:41,624
to ban an entire family
from going to church?
882
00:57:41,625 --> 00:57:43,893
Unwelcoming, I think.
883
00:57:43,894 --> 00:57:46,663
I mean as far as
they re concerned
884
00:57:46,664 --> 00:57:49,832
they are
dooming us all to Hell..
885
00:57:52,770 --> 00:57:56,005
Zoe, I was being figurative.
886
00:57:56,006 --> 00:57:57,540
Guys. I need your help.
887
00:57:57,541 --> 00:57:59,576
I didn't get any
good footage today.
888
00:57:59,577 --> 00:58:01,945
Will you put on these
masks and do a monster dance?
889
00:58:01,946 --> 00:58:04,714
It's really easy.
Francis choreographed it.
890
00:58:04,715 --> 00:58:06,249
What I don't understand
891
00:58:06,250 --> 00:58:10,186
is why they were so
upset about a little thing
892
00:58:10,187 --> 00:58:14,123
like breaking the
Ten Commandments.
893
00:58:14,124 --> 00:58:17,227
Everyone breaks a
commandment sooner or later.
894
00:58:17,228 --> 00:58:19,128
It's not like it's a mortal sin.
895
00:58:19,129 --> 00:58:22,999
Actually I think it's the
definition of a mortal sin.
896
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:25,667
Well, maybe it's for the best.
897
00:58:26,537 --> 00:58:28,137
What do you mean, Zill?
898
00:58:28,138 --> 00:58:31,808
I mean, maybe my dad was right.
899
00:58:31,809 --> 00:58:33,176
We barely even know each other.
900
00:58:33,177 --> 00:58:35,979
I didn't even
know you were a Christian.
901
00:58:35,980 --> 00:58:37,947
That's not the most
important thing about me.
902
00:58:37,948 --> 00:58:39,148
And we never discussed
903
00:58:39,149 --> 00:58:41,684
how we re going
to raise our children
904
00:58:41,685 --> 00:58:43,786
We don't even know
if we re gonna have children.
905
00:58:43,787 --> 00:58:47,090
And everyone in my
family gets a divorce!
906
00:58:47,091 --> 00:58:49,926
Hey, hey, but it's not
without good reason.
907
00:58:49,927 --> 00:58:53,263
I mean, your
grandparents had a fundamental
908
00:58:53,264 --> 00:58:57,166
difference of opinion regarding
the definition of monogamy
909
00:58:57,167 --> 00:59:00,103
and my wife?
910
00:59:00,104 --> 00:59:05,073
She was,
quite frankly, psychotic.
911
00:59:07,011 --> 00:59:09,546
Zilla.
912
00:59:09,547 --> 00:59:11,047
Ever since we started
planning this wedding
913
00:59:11,048 --> 00:59:13,715
you haven't been yourself.
914
00:59:25,262 --> 00:59:29,131
What's going on?
915
00:59:30,067 --> 00:59:34,269
Zoe, what is this?
916
00:59:35,239 --> 00:59:39,309
It's not enough that you
humiliated us at church today?
917
00:59:39,310 --> 00:59:42,011
It's not enough that you re
ruining your sister's wedding?
918
00:59:42,012 --> 00:59:45,714
Can't you see how unhappy
you re making your sister?
919
00:59:47,651 --> 00:59:51,154
I am ashamed
I ever let you buy this camera.
920
00:59:51,155 --> 00:59:55,058
I am ashamed that I
didn't put a stop to this
921
00:59:55,059 --> 00:59:58,995
horror business
the moment it started.
922
00:59:58,996 --> 01:00:01,130
You know what, Zoe?
923
01:00:01,131 --> 01:00:04,199
I guess I'm just
ashamed of you.
924
01:00:42,139 --> 01:00:43,706
What are you doing?
925
01:00:43,707 --> 01:00:45,708
I'm leaving.
926
01:00:45,709 --> 01:00:46,843
How come?
927
01:00:46,844 --> 01:00:50,113
You heard him!
He's ashamed of me.
928
01:00:50,114 --> 01:00:54,183
Where will you go?
929
01:00:54,184 --> 01:00:56,719
I ll stay at your
house tonight, and then..
930
01:00:56,720 --> 01:00:58,421
I ll go live with my mom.
931
01:00:58,422 --> 01:01:00,156
Do you even know where she is?
932
01:01:00,157 --> 01:01:03,693
No, but I ll find her.
933
01:01:03,694 --> 01:01:06,796
What about the horror film?
934
01:01:06,797 --> 01:01:09,264
It's over.
935
01:01:33,691 --> 01:01:37,926
We need help
locating a missing person.
936
01:01:38,896 --> 01:01:41,030
Does this appear to
be a police station to you?
937
01:01:41,031 --> 01:01:44,367
No, but you re the only adult
we know who's talking to us.
938
01:01:44,368 --> 01:01:47,003
Well, I do happen to
be an expert on crime.
939
01:01:47,004 --> 01:01:49,471
This person isn't a criminal...
940
01:01:50,274 --> 01:01:51,774
we think.
941
01:01:51,775 --> 01:01:53,076
Well, who is it?
942
01:01:53,077 --> 01:01:54,844
Her mom.
943
01:01:54,845 --> 01:01:56,145
Your mother's missing?
944
01:01:56,146 --> 01:01:57,146
Yes.
945
01:01:57,147 --> 01:01:58,214
For how long?
946
01:01:58,215 --> 01:01:59,949
About ten years.
947
01:01:59,950 --> 01:02:01,250
How old are you?
948
01:02:01,251 --> 01:02:03,086
Ten.
949
01:02:03,087 --> 01:02:04,320
I see.
950
01:02:04,321 --> 01:02:06,189
So this isn't so
much a missing person
951
01:02:06,190 --> 01:02:07,990
as it is a person who
intentionally abandoned
952
01:02:07,991 --> 01:02:09,959
her daughter and
hasn't been seen since
953
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:10,927
is that right?
954
01:02:10,928 --> 01:02:12,028
Yes.
955
01:02:12,029 --> 01:02:13,212
And has it occurred to you that
956
01:02:13,213 --> 01:02:14,397
she might have
done this for a reason?
957
01:02:14,398 --> 01:02:16,215
As in, rather
than failing to share
958
01:02:16,216 --> 01:02:18,034
this information with you
because it slipped her mind
959
01:02:18,035 --> 01:02:19,469
she may have made
a deliberate decision
960
01:02:19,470 --> 01:02:20,903
that she doesn't
want to be bothered
961
01:02:20,904 --> 01:02:22,472
by a sniveling cretin
who can't even remember
962
01:02:22,473 --> 01:02:24,006
to clean under her fingernails?
963
01:02:24,007 --> 01:02:26,042
You don't clean
under your fingernails!
964
01:02:26,043 --> 01:02:27,226
Digression!
965
01:02:27,227 --> 01:02:28,411
You re completely
drifting from the point.
966
01:02:28,412 --> 01:02:29,946
Your mother
doesn't even know me.
967
01:02:29,947 --> 01:02:32,248
Try to be more logical.
968
01:02:32,249 --> 01:02:34,183
We just want help finding her.
969
01:02:34,184 --> 01:02:36,419
Look, if your mother
doesn't want to meet you
970
01:02:36,420 --> 01:02:38,788
forcing the acquaintance on her
is not the kind of situation
971
01:02:38,789 --> 01:02:40,857
that's going to lead
to love and cupcakes.
972
01:02:40,858 --> 01:02:43,760
Meanwhile, I've been
working on your horror film.
973
01:02:43,761 --> 01:02:45,444
I've designed a
trip wedding cake
974
01:02:45,445 --> 01:02:47,130
that when you cut into
it, it spurts fake blood.
975
01:02:47,131 --> 01:02:49,766
You wanna see?
976
01:02:49,767 --> 01:02:51,834
We re here
for information.
977
01:02:51,835 --> 01:02:52,869
Fine.
978
01:02:52,870 --> 01:02:54,804
Have you
checked Facebook?
979
01:02:54,805 --> 01:02:56,339
She doesn't have an account.
980
01:02:56,340 --> 01:02:57,540
Well when I was a boy
981
01:02:57,541 --> 01:02:59,008
we had an
old-fashioned device known
982
01:02:59,009 --> 01:03:00,476
as a telephone book.
983
01:03:00,477 --> 01:03:02,945
You could look up
addresses in a small metal hovel
984
01:03:02,946 --> 01:03:04,881
known as a
telephone booth.
985
01:03:04,882 --> 01:03:07,116
There's one conveniently
located at the bus station.
986
01:03:07,117 --> 01:03:12,054
You could look her up
and get right on a bus..
987
01:03:12,055 --> 01:03:13,923
I suggest you
avoid this step though!
988
01:03:13,924 --> 01:03:15,858
You re only setting
yourself up for pain.
989
01:03:15,859 --> 01:03:17,426
I have to find her.
990
01:03:17,427 --> 01:03:19,295
My dad doesn't love me.
991
01:03:19,296 --> 01:03:21,363
Actually, I'd say
992
01:03:21,364 --> 01:03:23,432
all evidence so far points to
your mother not loving you.
993
01:03:23,433 --> 01:03:26,202
Although I suppose it's possible
that neither of them do.
994
01:03:26,203 --> 01:03:28,220
What do you know?
995
01:03:28,221 --> 01:03:30,238
The only thing you re
good at is horror stuff!
996
01:03:32,509 --> 01:03:35,177
I also
specialize in magic!
997
01:03:56,266 --> 01:03:59,969
I never wanted
to be like my mom.
998
01:03:59,970 --> 01:04:01,604
You re not.
999
01:04:01,605 --> 01:04:03,606
How do you know?
1000
01:04:03,607 --> 01:04:05,524
My dad's been telling me
1001
01:04:05,525 --> 01:04:07,443
my whole life not to rush
into things but I always do.
1002
01:04:07,444 --> 01:04:09,345
Just like her.
1003
01:04:09,346 --> 01:04:11,881
She rushed into getting married
1004
01:04:11,882 --> 01:04:13,349
when she was
too young to commit
1005
01:04:13,350 --> 01:04:14,917
and she rushed
into having children
1006
01:04:14,918 --> 01:04:17,119
before she was old
enough to realize that
1007
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:20,423
she didn't even want us.
1008
01:04:20,424 --> 01:04:23,259
So marriage didn't
work out for her.
1009
01:04:23,260 --> 01:04:25,628
It works out for some people.
1010
01:04:25,629 --> 01:04:28,064
It will for us.
1011
01:04:28,065 --> 01:04:30,466
How do you know?
1012
01:04:30,467 --> 01:04:32,534
I just do.
1013
01:04:34,037 --> 01:04:35,371
That doesn't seem
like a good enough
1014
01:04:35,372 --> 01:04:38,975
reason to go through with this.
1015
01:04:38,976 --> 01:04:40,409
You know what?
You re right.
1016
01:04:40,410 --> 01:04:42,945
You do rush into things.
1017
01:04:42,946 --> 01:04:46,415
You rushed into trying
out for the soccer team
1018
01:04:46,416 --> 01:04:48,618
when you were
only a freshman.
1019
01:04:48,619 --> 01:04:52,588
And you made varsity.
You rushed into pre-med.
1020
01:04:52,589 --> 01:04:55,992
And now you re on track
to graduate with honors.
1021
01:04:55,993 --> 01:05:01,130
It's one of the things
that I love about you.
1022
01:05:01,131 --> 01:05:04,634
You re impulsive and passionate
1023
01:05:04,635 --> 01:05:07,904
and you jump into the
things you care about..
1024
01:05:07,905 --> 01:05:11,907
And see them through.
1025
01:05:14,645 --> 01:05:17,246
Why would marriage work for
me when it hasn't worked out
1026
01:05:17,247 --> 01:05:20,616
for anyone
else in my family?
1027
01:05:20,617 --> 01:05:22,585
I think marriage would have
worked out for your dad
1028
01:05:22,586 --> 01:05:26,222
if he'd married somebody
a little bit more like himself.
1029
01:05:26,223 --> 01:05:29,158
Look how well he
did raising you and Zoe
1030
01:05:29,159 --> 01:05:31,627
all by himself.
1031
01:05:31,628 --> 01:05:35,631
You don't think we
turned out kind of weird?
1032
01:05:35,632 --> 01:05:39,168
Yeah, I do.
1033
01:05:39,169 --> 01:05:42,371
You re weird when you laugh.
1034
01:05:42,372 --> 01:05:46,275
It's weird when you eat
leftover soup for breakfast.
1035
01:05:46,276 --> 01:05:51,180
You have this weird little dent
1036
01:05:51,181 --> 01:05:54,649
on your lip
from when you bite it.
1037
01:06:01,058 --> 01:06:05,361
I love all the
weird things about you.
1038
01:06:05,362 --> 01:06:09,031
That's how I know
you re the one for me.
1039
01:06:09,032 --> 01:06:12,702
I love all the weird
things about you, too.
1040
01:06:12,703 --> 01:06:15,403
Then let's get married.
1041
01:06:27,985 --> 01:06:31,486
Are we to understand
the wedding's back on?
1042
01:06:34,458 --> 01:06:36,993
And where's it
going to take place?
1043
01:06:36,994 --> 01:06:39,996
We thought we
could just get married here.
1044
01:06:39,997 --> 01:06:43,299
That's a fabulous idea.
1045
01:06:43,300 --> 01:06:46,302
I'm picturing..
1046
01:06:46,303 --> 01:06:49,371
Swans.
On the lawn.
1047
01:06:52,209 --> 01:06:54,043
By the way
1048
01:06:54,044 --> 01:06:58,047
I couldn't help
noticing that Zoe's gone.
1049
01:06:58,048 --> 01:07:00,149
What do you mean, gone?
1050
01:07:00,150 --> 01:07:03,052
Well I went upstairs to
press her flower girl dress
1051
01:07:03,053 --> 01:07:04,453
and she wasn't there.
1052
01:07:04,454 --> 01:07:06,555
The bed didn't look
like it had been slept in.
1053
01:07:06,556 --> 01:07:08,457
Maybe she ran away.
1054
01:07:08,458 --> 01:07:10,292
She was pretty upset last night.
1055
01:07:10,293 --> 01:07:14,330
Did it look like she packed
her clothes or anything?
1056
01:07:14,331 --> 01:07:18,400
No, but that vampire poster
on her wall was missing..
1057
01:07:21,338 --> 01:07:24,507
Frankly, I felt it
looked better without it.
1058
01:07:24,508 --> 01:07:26,575
You two search the house.
1059
01:07:26,576 --> 01:07:29,244
I ll go find Francis.
1060
01:07:33,517 --> 01:07:37,318
Duh nuh nuh nuh!
Duh nuh nuh nuh! Duh nuh!
1061
01:07:43,226 --> 01:07:45,661
Uh, two in one morning!
This is really too much.
1062
01:07:45,662 --> 01:07:48,431
I can't deal with
these kind of interruptions.
1063
01:07:48,432 --> 01:07:52,768
Oh. It's you again.
What do you want?
1064
01:07:52,769 --> 01:07:54,136
Do you know
my daughter?
1065
01:07:54,137 --> 01:07:55,805
Zoe Balicki.
1066
01:07:55,806 --> 01:07:57,807
I might.
1067
01:07:57,808 --> 01:08:02,445
She's about this tall,
and she always carries a camera.
1068
01:08:02,446 --> 01:08:05,714
She's not dead
or anything, is she?
1069
01:08:05,715 --> 01:08:06,749
Of course not.
1070
01:08:06,750 --> 01:08:09,351
Fine.
She came in this morning.
1071
01:08:09,352 --> 01:08:13,522
Yes, I believe she
was asking you for advice?
1072
01:08:13,523 --> 01:08:16,325
A lot of people
ask me for advice.
1073
01:08:16,326 --> 01:08:18,494
I can't always keep
track of what I tell them.
1074
01:08:18,495 --> 01:08:20,329
You told Zoe to go
to the bus station and
1075
01:08:20,330 --> 01:08:21,697
look up her mom
in the phone book
1076
01:08:21,698 --> 01:08:24,233
and then you said she.
1077
01:08:24,234 --> 01:08:26,669
Listen, we re not
accusing you of anything.
1078
01:08:26,670 --> 01:08:28,887
We just want to find her.
1079
01:08:28,888 --> 01:08:31,107
Well, then I suggest you
take the advice of this small
1080
01:08:31,108 --> 01:08:34,610
flesh-eating carnivore,
and call the bus station.
1081
01:08:34,611 --> 01:08:38,280
I'm dialing right now.
1082
01:08:38,281 --> 01:08:42,317
You know, I wouldn't
say this to her face but
1083
01:08:43,253 --> 01:08:44,854
your daughter's fairly talented.
1084
01:08:44,855 --> 01:08:47,139
I've seen her horror films
1085
01:08:47,140 --> 01:08:49,425
and she has the potential
to really be someone.
1086
01:08:49,426 --> 01:08:50,793
Someone like you?
1087
01:08:50,794 --> 01:08:53,462
I have chosen to focus
my talents in other spheres
1088
01:08:53,463 --> 01:08:56,866
such as the retail
industry and..
1089
01:08:56,867 --> 01:08:58,834
Magic.
1090
01:08:58,835 --> 01:09:02,605
But I believe she's
primarily interested in horror.
1091
01:09:02,606 --> 01:09:06,142
Yeah, well sorry if horror
1092
01:09:06,143 --> 01:09:09,345
doesn't sound like
a viable career path.
1093
01:09:09,346 --> 01:09:11,480
It worked out
for Stanley Kubrick.
1094
01:09:11,481 --> 01:09:13,315
They didn't
sell her a bus ticket.
1095
01:09:13,316 --> 01:09:15,483
Okay, look.
1096
01:09:15,484 --> 01:09:17,651
If her mother wasn't
listed in the phone book,
1097
01:09:17,652 --> 01:09:19,822
do you have any idea where
else she might have gone?
1098
01:09:19,823 --> 01:09:23,291
I might know one
other place she might be.
1099
01:09:34,871 --> 01:09:35,938
Keep Portland weird!
1100
01:09:35,939 --> 01:09:39,207
Yeah,
we got that covered, thanks.
1101
01:10:04,467 --> 01:10:07,269
Zoe.
1102
01:10:07,270 --> 01:10:10,438
Come on.
We re going home.
1103
01:10:15,378 --> 01:10:19,782
Hey!
I just got in line.
1104
01:10:19,783 --> 01:10:22,885
I can't believe we re
actually going to Vegas!
1105
01:10:22,886 --> 01:10:23,886
Neither can I.
1106
01:10:23,887 --> 01:10:26,822
Best bachelorette party ever!
1107
01:10:26,823 --> 01:10:29,225
Well, naturally.
I planned it.
1108
01:10:29,226 --> 01:10:30,993
I still think it's weird
that the mother of the bride
1109
01:10:30,994 --> 01:10:33,696
is going along on her
daughter's bachelorette party.
1110
01:10:33,697 --> 01:10:35,798
Anything to get
her out of the house.
1111
01:10:35,799 --> 01:10:37,933
Why can't I
go to Vegas?
1112
01:10:37,934 --> 01:10:40,869
A: Because you re still grounded
1113
01:10:40,870 --> 01:10:43,772
for running away
from home and B:
1114
01:10:43,773 --> 01:10:46,875
Because ten-year-olds don't
go to these kinds of events..
1115
01:10:46,876 --> 01:10:48,978
I want you to be careful, okay?
1116
01:10:48,979 --> 01:10:51,280
Vegas is a
dangerous place.
1117
01:10:51,281 --> 01:10:53,249
Do not come back with pink eye.
1118
01:10:53,250 --> 01:10:55,784
You do not want pink eye
in all your wedding pictures.
1119
01:10:55,785 --> 01:10:56,986
Dad!
That's disgusting.
1120
01:10:56,987 --> 01:10:59,321
Yeah. Exactly.
It's very disgusting.
1121
01:10:59,322 --> 01:11:00,956
But it happens
at bachelor parties,
1122
01:11:00,957 --> 01:11:02,825
and I'm assuming
it can happen at
1123
01:11:02,826 --> 01:11:04,827
lesbian bachelorettes.
1124
01:11:04,828 --> 01:11:06,428
Your eye will swell up and
1125
01:11:06,429 --> 01:11:08,998
you ll look like
a zombie who is ill.
1126
01:11:08,999 --> 01:11:13,402
How do you get pink eye?
1127
01:11:13,403 --> 01:11:16,472
Don't worry!
The wedding's in two days.
1128
01:11:16,473 --> 01:11:21,343
I won't let a thing happen
to these two beautiful girls.
1129
01:11:21,344 --> 01:11:22,578
Are you ready
for the big day?
1130
01:11:22,579 --> 01:11:23,678
Yup!
1131
01:11:23,679 --> 01:11:24,780
I've got my
ordination certificate
1132
01:11:24,781 --> 01:11:27,383
from the Universal
Life Church. Right here.
1133
01:11:27,384 --> 01:11:29,652
Am I the only one who's
noticed that they've chosen
1134
01:11:29,653 --> 01:11:32,721
a self-proclaimed
witch to marry them?
1135
01:11:32,722 --> 01:11:35,858
Okay, I think that's everything!
1136
01:11:35,859 --> 01:11:38,761
You won't forget
that the ice sculptures
1137
01:11:38,762 --> 01:11:40,029
arrive Friday night
1138
01:11:40,030 --> 01:11:41,997
and the dove
wrangler will be here
1139
01:11:41,998 --> 01:11:44,400
bright and early
Saturday morning.
1140
01:11:44,401 --> 01:11:45,801
Yeah, got it.
1141
01:11:45,802 --> 01:11:46,935
Okay!
1142
01:11:46,936 --> 01:11:48,353
Well boys
1143
01:11:48,354 --> 01:11:49,772
why don't you
drive us to the airport
1144
01:11:49,773 --> 01:11:54,008
and then you can pick
up the fireworks displays?
1145
01:12:08,992 --> 01:12:11,427
Thank God it's nearly over.
1146
01:12:11,428 --> 01:12:13,695
You know
1147
01:12:13,696 --> 01:12:15,964
I never thought Zilla would
be the type to want a crazy
1148
01:12:15,965 --> 01:12:18,033
elaborate wedding like this.
1149
01:12:18,034 --> 01:12:21,102
Oh, Zilla doesn't
want this wedding.
1150
01:12:38,755 --> 01:12:40,656
We could still win the contest.
1151
01:12:40,657 --> 01:12:42,358
We have some
really good stuff.
1152
01:12:42,359 --> 01:12:44,393
Yeah, but how's
it going to end?
1153
01:12:44,394 --> 01:12:46,829
I couldn't get anybody
to do the monster dance.
1154
01:12:46,830 --> 01:12:49,497
And we re
almost out of time.
1155
01:12:52,535 --> 01:12:55,404
Maybe there
isn't a happy ending
1156
01:12:55,405 --> 01:12:57,873
so there is no monster dance.
1157
01:12:57,874 --> 01:12:59,842
Maybe it's a tragedy.
1158
01:12:59,843 --> 01:13:01,143
Like Bambi.
1159
01:13:01,144 --> 01:13:02,845
Bambi's not a tragedy.
1160
01:13:02,846 --> 01:13:07,649
The mom dies, Zoe.
1161
01:13:07,650 --> 01:13:11,987
Okay, so maybe
the werewolf dies.
1162
01:13:11,988 --> 01:13:14,723
Maybe he realizes
he can't marry the bride
1163
01:13:14,724 --> 01:13:16,458
so he kills himself.
1164
01:13:16,459 --> 01:13:17,609
How?
1165
01:13:17,610 --> 01:13:18,761
Drive a stake
through his heart?
1166
01:13:18,762 --> 01:13:20,996
That's a vampire, Francis.
1167
01:13:20,997 --> 01:13:23,532
Werewolves can die any old way.
1168
01:13:23,533 --> 01:13:26,835
Normally it isn't about figuring
out how to kill the werewolf
1169
01:13:26,836 --> 01:13:29,872
it's figuring out whether you re
going to be able to kill it
1170
01:13:29,873 --> 01:13:31,774
before it kills you.
1171
01:13:31,775 --> 01:13:35,743
Maybe he could
jump off the roof...
1172
01:13:39,682 --> 01:13:44,086
Uh uh.
It's too steep.
1173
01:13:44,087 --> 01:13:45,988
I may have a panic attack.
1174
01:13:45,989 --> 01:13:49,056
Just don't throw
up on the costume.
1175
01:13:56,566 --> 01:13:59,934
I built something for you.
1176
01:14:02,872 --> 01:14:07,575
Step, step, step,
step, step, step, stop.
1177
01:14:09,546 --> 01:14:11,146
Are you ready?
1178
01:14:11,147 --> 01:14:13,214
Okay.
1179
01:14:20,123 --> 01:14:23,191
It's the most beautiful
coffin I've ever seen.
1180
01:14:24,761 --> 01:14:27,696
Well you know, it's
not Eco-friendly pine
1181
01:14:27,697 --> 01:14:31,499
but I hope it will do..
1182
01:14:32,235 --> 01:14:34,502
Whoa!
1183
01:14:34,971 --> 01:14:37,673
Let's try not to actually
have to put this to use
1184
01:14:37,674 --> 01:14:40,741
before our time, huh?
1185
01:15:01,698 --> 01:15:08,103
So what's the big surprise?
1186
01:15:08,104 --> 01:15:10,572
The Pink Spa!
1187
01:15:10,573 --> 01:15:13,075
Welcome!
1188
01:15:13,076 --> 01:15:16,745
Three hours
of pure luxury.
1189
01:15:16,746 --> 01:15:18,614
We are going to
get our hair done.
1190
01:15:18,615 --> 01:15:20,516
We are going to
get our nails done.
1191
01:15:20,517 --> 01:15:22,751
And then we are
going out on the town.
1192
01:15:22,752 --> 01:15:24,119
And don't worry.
1193
01:15:24,120 --> 01:15:25,287
Everything's on me!
1194
01:15:25,288 --> 01:15:27,789
Aaaahh!
1195
01:15:27,790 --> 01:15:29,124
You have got to be kidding me.
1196
01:15:29,125 --> 01:15:30,626
Oh, sweetheart.
1197
01:15:30,627 --> 01:15:32,628
No Mom, you've
been trying to trick me
1198
01:15:32,629 --> 01:15:34,830
into getting my
hair done since prom.
1199
01:15:34,831 --> 01:15:36,098
No way.
1200
01:15:36,099 --> 01:15:37,633
You guys go ahead.
1201
01:15:37,634 --> 01:15:39,201
I ll meet up with you later.
1202
01:15:39,202 --> 01:15:40,802
You re not even coming?
1203
01:15:40,803 --> 01:15:42,204
I don't want to
spend three hours
1204
01:15:42,205 --> 01:15:43,772
painting my fingernails.
1205
01:15:43,773 --> 01:15:45,707
But-this is our
bachelorette party.
1206
01:15:45,708 --> 01:15:48,243
We re supposed to
be enjoying this together.
1207
01:15:48,244 --> 01:15:52,180
I'm sorry, this is not the
kind of thing that I enjoy.
1208
01:15:52,181 --> 01:15:55,083
But-this isn't the
kind of thing that.
1209
01:15:55,084 --> 01:15:56,852
I'm sorry, Zill.
1210
01:15:56,853 --> 01:15:58,920
I'm out.
1211
01:16:22,979 --> 01:16:24,746
Do you think it's
deep enough yet?
1212
01:16:24,747 --> 01:16:27,049
We have to get things
right this time, Francis.
1213
01:16:27,050 --> 01:16:29,117
It's supposed
to be six feet deep.
1214
01:16:29,118 --> 01:16:31,119
But we re not six feet tall.
1215
01:16:31,120 --> 01:16:32,354
How will we get out?
1216
01:16:32,355 --> 01:16:34,622
Zoe!
1217
01:16:35,992 --> 01:16:38,960
What the hell do
you think you re doing?
1218
01:16:41,331 --> 01:16:43,765
What is this?
1219
01:16:43,766 --> 01:16:45,200
Son of a bitch!
1220
01:16:45,201 --> 01:16:48,235
Don't,
you ll break it!
1221
01:16:57,213 --> 01:16:59,430
Aaahh!
1222
01:16:59,431 --> 01:17:01,650
I don't know any other way
of getting through to you, Zoe.
1223
01:17:01,651 --> 01:17:04,252
I have asked
you repeatedly
1224
01:17:04,253 --> 01:17:06,321
to give up
this horror stuff.
1225
01:17:06,322 --> 01:17:07,823
I have requested
1226
01:17:07,824 --> 01:17:10,025
that you stop
keeping bloody,
1227
01:17:10,026 --> 01:17:12,260
severed body
parts in the fridge.
1228
01:17:12,261 --> 01:17:14,663
I have begged you
1229
01:17:14,664 --> 01:17:17,099
not to shave
the neighbor's dogs
1230
01:17:17,100 --> 01:17:18,767
blow things up, or
1231
01:17:18,768 --> 01:17:21,236
dig coffin-shaped
holes in the lawn.
1232
01:17:21,237 --> 01:17:23,271
And now I am ordering you
1233
01:17:23,272 --> 01:17:26,141
to quit making
this horror film!
1234
01:17:26,142 --> 01:17:28,276
I have to make it.
It's what I love.
1235
01:17:28,277 --> 01:17:31,146
No, no,
no you don't!
1236
01:17:31,147 --> 01:17:33,915
Murderers may
love murdering people
1237
01:17:33,916 --> 01:17:35,817
but they don't have to do it!
1238
01:17:35,818 --> 01:17:37,753
It's the only
thing I care about!
1239
01:17:37,754 --> 01:17:39,888
It's in my soul.
1240
01:17:39,889 --> 01:17:42,023
Then there's something
seriously wrong with your soul!
1241
01:17:54,771 --> 01:17:58,240
You don't love me.
1242
01:17:58,241 --> 01:18:00,776
Sometimes Zoe
1243
01:18:00,777 --> 01:18:03,244
you make it hard.
1244
01:18:15,992 --> 01:18:18,459
Is it dry yet?
1245
01:18:19,929 --> 01:18:22,764
We ll shoot the rest of
the horror film tonight.
1246
01:18:22,765 --> 01:18:25,833
I ll put on the costume
and jump off the roof.
1247
01:18:28,137 --> 01:18:29,871
I wasn't going
to tell you this
1248
01:18:29,872 --> 01:18:31,306
until the morning
of the wedding.
1249
01:18:31,307 --> 01:18:33,375
But I have
another surprise.
1250
01:18:33,376 --> 01:18:34,876
Oh God.
1251
01:18:34,877 --> 01:18:39,314
I bought you and Lu
a special honeymoon package.
1252
01:18:39,315 --> 01:18:42,084
A week in the romance suite
1253
01:18:42,085 --> 01:18:44,920
at the Honeymoon Resort in...
1254
01:18:44,921 --> 01:18:47,122
Miami, Florida!
1255
01:18:47,123 --> 01:18:48,706
Oh my God.
1256
01:18:48,707 --> 01:18:50,292
A camping trip
in Colorado is...
1257
01:18:50,293 --> 01:18:53,361
just not that romantic.
1258
01:18:53,362 --> 01:18:54,830
Anyone can go camping.
1259
01:18:54,831 --> 01:18:58,066
And sleeping on hard
rocks for seven days
1260
01:18:58,067 --> 01:19:02,170
with a select assortment
of spiders and insects
1261
01:19:02,171 --> 01:19:05,140
is no way to start off
a harmonious marriage
1262
01:19:05,141 --> 01:19:06,341
I assure you.
1263
01:19:06,342 --> 01:19:07,509
Cora...
1264
01:19:07,510 --> 01:19:09,745
I appreciate
the thought, but...
1265
01:19:09,746 --> 01:19:12,114
Don't mess
up your lip gloss!
1266
01:19:12,115 --> 01:19:15,951
Okay. Are you
ready to see yourself?
1267
01:19:15,952 --> 01:19:18,252
Ta da!
1268
01:19:24,193 --> 01:19:25,327
My hair.
1269
01:19:25,328 --> 01:19:28,230
Isn't it gorgeous?
1270
01:19:28,231 --> 01:19:29,765
It's blonde.
1271
01:19:29,766 --> 01:19:30,899
I thought it
would go perfectly
1272
01:19:30,900 --> 01:19:33,135
with your wedding dress!
1273
01:19:33,136 --> 01:19:36,203
Are you all ready yet?
It's been almost three ho...
1274
01:19:44,313 --> 01:19:46,047
I'm sorry, Zilla.
1275
01:19:46,048 --> 01:19:48,316
It's just that you
look like a cross between
1276
01:19:48,317 --> 01:19:52,888
a Barbie doll
and Queen Victoria.
1277
01:19:52,889 --> 01:19:55,956
This Is not,
A good time to laugh.
1278
01:20:11,874 --> 01:20:13,542
This will be great.
1279
01:20:13,543 --> 01:20:15,944
Are you sure?
1280
01:20:15,945 --> 01:20:18,095
Of course.
1281
01:20:18,096 --> 01:20:20,248
The werewolf will be
silhouetted against the trees.
1282
01:20:20,249 --> 01:20:23,885
No, I mean are
you sure it's safe?
1283
01:20:23,886 --> 01:20:26,221
Stunt doubles
do it all the time.
1284
01:20:26,222 --> 01:20:29,057
Well yeah, but I'm
pretty sure a lot of them die.
1285
01:20:29,058 --> 01:20:31,075
If I die
1286
01:20:31,076 --> 01:20:33,236
make sure this gets edited
and submitted before Sunday.
1287
01:20:36,098 --> 01:20:38,433
Hey, don't get mad at me.
You did this to yourself.
1288
01:20:38,434 --> 01:20:40,202
I didn't do this to myself!
1289
01:20:40,203 --> 01:20:41,336
Your mother did.
1290
01:20:41,337 --> 01:20:43,071
Exactly.
And you let her.
1291
01:20:43,072 --> 01:20:45,874
What part of my childhood
stories do you not understand?
1292
01:20:45,875 --> 01:20:48,143
Do not let this woman
get within three feet of you
1293
01:20:48,144 --> 01:20:50,512
with mascara, a curling
iron, or a set of tweezers!
1294
01:20:50,513 --> 01:20:52,581
I wouldn't have had
to if you hadn't left!
1295
01:20:52,582 --> 01:20:54,583
Oh, I'm supposed
to sit around here
1296
01:20:54,584 --> 01:20:56,918
and let my head get
dipped into toxic waste because
1297
01:20:56,919 --> 01:20:59,087
you don't have the guts to
stand up for who you are?
1298
01:20:59,088 --> 01:21:02,090
This isn't about that!
Why can't you understand?
1299
01:21:02,091 --> 01:21:03,458
Understand what?
1300
01:21:03,459 --> 01:21:05,126
That you want her for a mother?
1301
01:21:05,127 --> 01:21:07,929
This is what
having a mother is about!
1302
01:21:07,930 --> 01:21:10,131
She's been trying to
turn me into a beauty queen
1303
01:21:10,132 --> 01:21:13,134
pageant princess
for twenty-five years!
1304
01:21:13,135 --> 01:21:15,904
I've fought my whole life
for the right to be who I am
1305
01:21:15,905 --> 01:21:17,172
and I'm not
going to give that up
1306
01:21:17,173 --> 01:21:18,974
just because you want to
suck up to my mother.
1307
01:21:18,975 --> 01:21:21,977
Suck up to your mother? Is
that what you think I'm doing?
1308
01:21:21,978 --> 01:21:24,546
It seems like it to me, yeah.
1309
01:21:24,547 --> 01:21:27,415
You have no idea how
lucky you are to have a mom!
1310
01:21:27,416 --> 01:21:30,084
I'm getting a divorce!
1311
01:21:34,023 --> 01:21:36,090
What?
1312
01:21:41,063 --> 01:21:44,366
Maybe the werewolf
could just take pills.
1313
01:21:44,367 --> 01:21:47,434
Just focus on the
cinematography, okay?
1314
01:21:52,375 --> 01:21:56,511
I didn't want to tell you
this until after the wedding.
1315
01:21:56,512 --> 01:22:00,015
Your father and I just..
1316
01:22:00,016 --> 01:22:04,185
Well,
we can't stand each other.
1317
01:22:04,186 --> 01:22:07,522
And I wanted to throw
the perfect wedding
1318
01:22:07,523 --> 01:22:09,324
for you both
1319
01:22:09,325 --> 01:22:11,693
because I love you
1320
01:22:11,694 --> 01:22:15,130
and... I guess, well,
1321
01:22:15,131 --> 01:22:19,300
I wanted you to love me
more than you love your father.
1322
01:22:22,238 --> 01:22:25,105
Okay.
1323
01:22:27,043 --> 01:22:29,044
Okay, what?
1324
01:22:29,045 --> 01:22:32,112
Okay, we ll love
you more than Dad.
1325
01:22:34,116 --> 01:22:36,267
Really?
1326
01:22:36,268 --> 01:22:38,419
Yeah, it's not that hard,
Dad's kind of an asshole.
1327
01:22:41,958 --> 01:22:44,259
What can I do
1328
01:22:44,260 --> 01:22:47,162
to give you both the
wedding of your dreams?
1329
01:22:47,163 --> 01:22:49,464
Mom, don't you understand?
1330
01:22:49,465 --> 01:22:52,133
I don't care about weddings.
1331
01:22:52,134 --> 01:22:54,469
I'm only doing this for Zilla.
1332
01:22:54,470 --> 01:22:56,338
Are you kidding?
1333
01:22:56,339 --> 01:23:01,242
I don't even
want this wedding.
1334
01:23:01,243 --> 01:23:04,311
Then why are
we doing this?
1335
01:23:47,089 --> 01:23:49,090
Are you ready for this?
1336
01:23:49,091 --> 01:23:52,159
Anything to have it over with.
1337
01:23:59,635 --> 01:24:01,669
Well, it's
really happening.
1338
01:24:01,670 --> 01:24:04,139
Zilla is really
and truly becoming
1339
01:24:04,140 --> 01:24:06,307
a permanent lesbian.
1340
01:24:06,308 --> 01:24:08,309
You know
1341
01:24:08,310 --> 01:24:11,613
I once met a lesbian
at the senior center.
1342
01:24:11,614 --> 01:24:13,548
I think she had a crush on me.
1343
01:24:13,549 --> 01:24:16,818
Mom!
Did you lead her on?
1344
01:24:16,819 --> 01:24:18,787
I might have.
1345
01:24:18,788 --> 01:24:21,322
Well, she
was very attractive
1346
01:24:21,323 --> 01:24:24,391
considering she was a
woman and had false teeth.
1347
01:24:26,429 --> 01:24:28,630
Is everything ready to go?
1348
01:24:28,631 --> 01:24:30,799
Yes, thank God.
1349
01:24:30,800 --> 01:24:33,068
The flowers are delivered
1350
01:24:33,069 --> 01:24:35,203
the goddamn ice
sculptures are in the basement
1351
01:24:35,204 --> 01:24:37,439
with four air
conditioning units
1352
01:24:37,440 --> 01:24:39,140
and I finally got the
male swan to stop
1353
01:24:39,141 --> 01:24:41,843
attacking the violinist.
1354
01:24:41,844 --> 01:24:44,511
The wedding's off.
1355
01:24:45,514 --> 01:24:46,514
What?
1356
01:24:46,515 --> 01:24:47,849
What happened?
1357
01:24:47,850 --> 01:24:48,850
Did you have a fight?
1358
01:24:48,851 --> 01:24:51,118
No.
1359
01:24:52,321 --> 01:24:55,423
We got married in Vegas.
1360
01:24:55,424 --> 01:24:56,691
Dad, I'm really sorry.
1361
01:24:56,692 --> 01:24:58,426
I know how much
you worked on this.
1362
01:24:58,427 --> 01:25:01,396
I just...
we finally realized that...
1363
01:25:01,397 --> 01:25:03,465
neither of us
wanted this wedding.
1364
01:25:03,466 --> 01:25:06,601
All of this planning
was just driving us apart.
1365
01:25:12,141 --> 01:25:14,275
Zilla.
1366
01:25:14,276 --> 01:25:16,377
Everybody we know
1367
01:25:16,378 --> 01:25:20,181
is set to arrive at
our home in two hours.
1368
01:25:20,182 --> 01:25:24,352
There is a cake the size
of a truck in the garage.
1369
01:25:24,353 --> 01:25:28,123
The orchestra is
setting up out on the lawn.
1370
01:25:28,124 --> 01:25:30,458
I have been wrangling
1371
01:25:30,459 --> 01:25:34,462
various species of
vicious birds for 24 hours.
1372
01:25:34,463 --> 01:25:36,898
You cannot tell me
this wedding is off.
1373
01:25:36,899 --> 01:25:40,235
Dad, it's just
really not for us.
1374
01:25:40,236 --> 01:25:42,737
Um..
1375
01:25:42,738 --> 01:25:45,372
Zoe's in the hospital.
1376
01:25:48,878 --> 01:25:50,311
What happened?
1377
01:25:50,312 --> 01:25:52,213
I don't know.
They didn't say.
1378
01:25:52,214 --> 01:25:54,883
She was spending
the night at Francis's.
1379
01:25:54,884 --> 01:25:57,218
Oh God.
1380
01:25:57,219 --> 01:25:59,554
The last thing she said
before she left was that...
1381
01:25:59,555 --> 01:26:02,390
I don't love her.
1382
01:26:02,391 --> 01:26:03,691
What did you say?
1383
01:26:03,692 --> 01:26:08,195
I said, she makes
it hard sometimes.
1384
01:26:08,931 --> 01:26:13,434
Okay, bro.
It's going to be okay.
1385
01:26:13,435 --> 01:26:14,769
Also you re driving right now,
1386
01:26:14,770 --> 01:26:17,672
so I really need you
to look at the road.
1387
01:26:17,673 --> 01:26:19,674
That was Francis's grandmother.
1388
01:26:19,675 --> 01:26:22,210
She said Zoe
jumped off the roof.
1389
01:26:22,211 --> 01:26:24,846
She's under anesthetic right
now so we can't see her yet.
1390
01:26:24,847 --> 01:26:28,917
But the nurse wants us to bring
her clothes and insurance card
1391
01:26:28,918 --> 01:26:32,453
and maybe a stuffed animal
or something to cheer her up.
1392
01:26:32,454 --> 01:26:33,821
Most of Zoe's stuffed animals
1393
01:26:33,822 --> 01:26:35,390
have parted
ways with their heads
1394
01:26:35,391 --> 01:26:37,959
so I don't know
how cheerful that is.
1395
01:26:37,960 --> 01:26:41,229
What else would
make her happy?
1396
01:26:41,230 --> 01:26:43,297
I know.
1397
01:27:05,487 --> 01:27:08,889
Go, go, go.
1398
01:27:10,826 --> 01:27:12,893
Goddamn it!
1399
01:27:22,438 --> 01:27:25,506
We need to go to Good
Samaritan Hospital, pronto.
1400
01:27:25,507 --> 01:27:26,975
I'm here to drive newlyweds
1401
01:27:26,976 --> 01:27:29,711
to the airport.
You are not a newlywed.
1402
01:27:29,712 --> 01:27:32,713
No, we are.
1403
01:27:36,652 --> 01:27:39,954
Hey, hey!
1404
01:27:39,955 --> 01:27:42,857
I do weddings. Not funerals!
1405
01:27:42,858 --> 01:27:44,325
You take a right on Cornell!
1406
01:27:44,326 --> 01:27:46,561
No no no, take
the freeway, it's faster!
1407
01:27:46,562 --> 01:27:48,363
I am a professional chauffeur
1408
01:27:48,364 --> 01:27:50,598
and I do not
tolerate back seat driving!
1409
01:27:50,599 --> 01:27:53,667
No, no, no, no, no.
1410
01:27:59,642 --> 01:28:01,042
Hey, hey!
1411
01:28:01,043 --> 01:28:02,826
You cannot park here.
1412
01:28:02,827 --> 01:28:04,612
It's an emergency.
We have an injured child.
1413
01:28:04,613 --> 01:28:07,681
Okay, well let's get him inside.
1414
01:28:09,351 --> 01:28:12,452
Why is he already in a coffin?
1415
01:28:16,659 --> 01:28:17,959
You cannot
bring that in here!
1416
01:28:17,960 --> 01:28:19,761
It's for my daughter.
1417
01:28:19,762 --> 01:28:21,496
You don't
understand, sir.
1418
01:28:21,497 --> 01:28:24,564
Your daughter's not dead.
1419
01:28:30,506 --> 01:28:32,307
I ain't dead yet.
1420
01:28:32,308 --> 01:28:35,810
My apologies, ma am.
1421
01:28:35,811 --> 01:28:38,313
I was trying to tell you, sir
1422
01:28:38,314 --> 01:28:40,481
your daughter has been
moved to the recovery wing.
1423
01:28:40,482 --> 01:28:42,417
She is very much alive.
1424
01:28:42,418 --> 01:28:44,485
Now you re going to
have to take that downstairs.
1425
01:28:44,486 --> 01:28:47,554
That is not the kind of
thing we find uplifting here.
1426
01:28:51,627 --> 01:28:54,211
She was lucky.
1427
01:28:54,212 --> 01:28:56,798
She hit the edge of a trampoline
and rolled off into soft shrubs.
1428
01:28:56,799 --> 01:29:00,100
Had she hit the ground,
she might not have made it.
1429
01:29:04,540 --> 01:29:08,976
I don't know if you can
hear me right now, but um..
1430
01:29:08,977 --> 01:29:13,447
I just wanted to
let you know that
1431
01:29:14,049 --> 01:29:16,984
your coffin is waiting for you.
1432
01:29:16,985 --> 01:29:20,088
Okay?
1433
01:29:20,089 --> 01:29:23,357
It's here whenever
you re ready to use it.
1434
01:29:36,805 --> 01:29:40,108
I feel like Lu's dad
could be a mummy.
1435
01:29:40,109 --> 01:29:43,077
I was thinking
more like a vampire.
1436
01:29:43,078 --> 01:29:46,848
But he's pale, like a mummy.
1437
01:29:46,849 --> 01:29:49,016
Vampires are pale.
1438
01:29:49,017 --> 01:29:52,854
Look at the way those
veins pop out of his forehead.
1439
01:29:52,855 --> 01:29:54,989
Like a vampire.
1440
01:29:54,990 --> 01:29:56,691
But mummies are easy.
1441
01:29:56,692 --> 01:29:58,960
Just wrap him
up in toilet paper.
1442
01:29:58,961 --> 01:30:00,428
Francis, how are
we going to wrap him
1443
01:30:00,429 --> 01:30:03,998
in toilet paper
without him noticing?
1444
01:30:03,999 --> 01:30:06,868
Next?
1445
01:30:06,869 --> 01:30:09,504
Oh, mine's not real.
1446
01:30:09,505 --> 01:30:11,838
You go ahead.
1447
01:30:17,780 --> 01:30:19,514
Zilla?
1448
01:30:19,515 --> 01:30:21,983
We all bought
presents for Zoe.
1449
01:30:21,984 --> 01:30:23,851
Nobody ever
brings me presents.
1450
01:30:23,852 --> 01:30:27,588
Mm mm.
1451
01:30:27,589 --> 01:30:30,758
That's so nice.
But she's still asleep.
1452
01:30:30,759 --> 01:30:32,026
We ll put them in the coffin
1453
01:30:32,027 --> 01:30:35,029
and she can enjoy them
when she wakes up. Okay?
1454
01:30:35,030 --> 01:30:38,099
Me first.
I brought maggots.
1455
01:30:38,100 --> 01:30:40,067
Fake blood.
1456
01:30:40,068 --> 01:30:42,036
I mean, I know she just
had real blood transfusions.
1457
01:30:42,037 --> 01:30:44,505
So she might not
need it until later.
1458
01:30:44,506 --> 01:30:46,808
A shriveled hand.
1459
01:30:46,809 --> 01:30:48,676
Edible eyeballs.
1460
01:30:48,677 --> 01:30:50,777
False teeth.
1461
01:30:50,778 --> 01:30:52,878
Wait a second.
Mom, do you have an extra pair?
1462
01:30:57,719 --> 01:31:00,755
Um, it's a colander.
1463
01:31:00,756 --> 01:31:04,892
We got it for
Zilla and Lu, but...
1464
01:31:04,893 --> 01:31:06,627
Liver.
1465
01:31:06,628 --> 01:31:08,930
This should
probably be refrigerated.
1466
01:31:08,931 --> 01:31:10,898
Pickled fingers.
1467
01:31:10,899 --> 01:31:14,101
I noticed her supply in the
refrigerator was dwindling
1468
01:31:14,102 --> 01:31:15,536
and I don't want to know why
1469
01:31:15,537 --> 01:31:17,604
so here's a replacement.
1470
01:31:20,108 --> 01:31:23,009
Y'all are sick.
1471
01:31:29,952 --> 01:31:32,053
Francis.
1472
01:31:32,054 --> 01:31:34,155
Why did Zoe jump?
1473
01:31:34,156 --> 01:31:35,790
For our horror film.
1474
01:31:35,791 --> 01:31:37,992
We needed the
footage for the ending.
1475
01:31:37,993 --> 01:31:39,894
It wasn't because of me?
1476
01:31:39,895 --> 01:31:42,763
Why would it be?
1477
01:31:42,764 --> 01:31:46,167
I thought maybe it was
because I yelled at her.
1478
01:31:46,168 --> 01:31:50,037
Ugh.
Typical parental narcissism.
1479
01:31:50,038 --> 01:31:52,840
Your daughter is a very
dedicated horror devotee.
1480
01:31:52,841 --> 01:31:54,809
Why would she end herself
two days before the deadline
1481
01:31:54,810 --> 01:31:57,277
without good reason?
1482
01:31:58,814 --> 01:32:00,847
What deadline?
1483
01:32:08,924 --> 01:32:10,991
Ready?
1484
01:33:04,646 --> 01:33:06,314
I'd also be willing
to wear the blue taffeta
1485
01:33:06,315 --> 01:33:08,749
- with rhinestones.
- Who are you, Liberace?
1486
01:33:08,750 --> 01:33:10,751
If Pat gets to wear
that, I want to wear this.
1487
01:33:10,752 --> 01:33:15,723
This is not just choose
your favorite gender day!
1488
01:33:15,724 --> 01:33:17,358
There are Rules!
1489
01:33:19,962 --> 01:33:22,863
Roooooaaaarr!
1490
01:33:22,864 --> 01:33:25,899
Aaaaaahhhh!
1491
01:33:29,638 --> 01:33:31,705
Mom! Mom!
1492
01:33:52,060 --> 01:33:53,861
Zoe!
1493
01:33:53,862 --> 01:33:54,895
It's okay.
1494
01:33:54,896 --> 01:33:55,896
Oh my God.
1495
01:33:55,897 --> 01:33:59,966
Awooooooo!!!
1496
01:34:10,345 --> 01:34:12,713
Everybody be quiet.
1497
01:34:12,714 --> 01:34:16,650
We re going to have a
Nice Family Event!
1498
01:34:17,919 --> 01:34:21,856
Zoe, did you..
1499
01:34:21,857 --> 01:34:23,958
Shave this dog?
1500
01:34:23,959 --> 01:34:26,193
I asked you to
represent the family
1501
01:34:26,194 --> 01:34:28,429
and they ended up
in jail.
1502
01:34:28,430 --> 01:34:29,830
Why is Francis here?
1503
01:34:29,831 --> 01:34:31,932
Why is Francis always here?
1504
01:34:31,933 --> 01:34:33,200
Zoe!
1505
01:34:33,201 --> 01:34:35,936
What the hell do
you think you re doing?
1506
01:34:35,937 --> 01:34:39,005
It's not enough that you re
ruining your sister's wedding?
1507
01:34:45,414 --> 01:34:47,982
Aaaaahhh!
1508
01:34:47,983 --> 01:34:49,850
Woooaaaahhh!
1509
01:34:49,851 --> 01:34:51,185
Aaaaahhh!
1510
01:34:51,186 --> 01:34:53,220
Aaaaahhh! Aaaaahhh!
1511
01:34:53,221 --> 01:34:55,889
A paper cut!
1512
01:35:23,452 --> 01:35:26,720
Francis, you re
kind of in the way here.
1513
01:35:58,453 --> 01:36:01,422
Oh my God.
1514
01:36:01,423 --> 01:36:03,357
What happens next?
1515
01:36:03,358 --> 01:36:04,925
We haven't
written it yet.
1516
01:36:04,926 --> 01:36:09,163
Well! It was really
quite good, wasn't it?
1517
01:36:09,164 --> 01:36:11,832
Really captured my
impression of the whole wedding.
1518
01:36:11,833 --> 01:36:15,002
She's certainly
an odd child, isn't she?
1519
01:36:15,003 --> 01:36:19,507
I- I've tried to
make her normal.
1520
01:36:19,508 --> 01:36:20,508
Why bother?
1521
01:36:20,509 --> 01:36:24,211
She's great
the way she is.
1522
01:36:24,212 --> 01:36:29,416
You don't think she'd be better
playing with, you know, dolls..
1523
01:36:29,417 --> 01:36:30,985
Instead of human skulls?
1524
01:36:30,986 --> 01:36:34,155
Dad, you can give Zoe
all the dolls you want but..
1525
01:36:34,156 --> 01:36:37,057
She's going to
murder all of them.
1526
01:36:37,058 --> 01:36:38,526
People have to be who they are.
1527
01:36:38,527 --> 01:36:42,129
And we should
embrace them for that.
1528
01:36:42,130 --> 01:36:45,432
What are we going
to do about the wedding?
1529
01:36:45,433 --> 01:36:49,969
Well, we have a catered
banquet spoiling in the kitchen
1530
01:36:50,906 --> 01:36:55,342
a wedding no one wants
set up on the back lawn and..
1531
01:36:55,343 --> 01:37:00,014
About $10,000 worth of
flowers that are probably dead.
1532
01:37:00,015 --> 01:37:01,048
Poor Zoe.
1533
01:37:01,049 --> 01:37:03,450
She's going to be devastated
1534
01:37:03,451 --> 01:37:05,853
when she wakes
up in the hospital.
1535
01:37:05,854 --> 01:37:08,422
Guys.
1536
01:37:08,423 --> 01:37:11,491
I know a way we
could fix both problems.
1537
01:37:21,269 --> 01:37:22,870
Why can't I just walk?
1538
01:37:22,871 --> 01:37:25,539
You know you need
to stay off your feet.
1539
01:37:25,540 --> 01:37:27,274
Stupid cast.
1540
01:37:27,275 --> 01:37:31,245
I don't want to hear you
complaining about your cast.
1541
01:37:31,246 --> 01:37:34,949
People who jump off
roofs end up in casts
1542
01:37:34,950 --> 01:37:38,017
and they re lucky
they re not dead.
1543
01:37:42,057 --> 01:37:43,324
Now your sister's
getting married
1544
01:37:43,325 --> 01:37:45,359
and I want you to be
at your best behavior.
1545
01:37:45,360 --> 01:37:49,997
I want you to pretend
to be a normal, polite child.
1546
01:37:49,998 --> 01:37:54,268
Oh, Francis dropped
off your video camera.
1547
01:37:54,269 --> 01:37:56,337
I don't need it anymore.
1548
01:37:56,338 --> 01:37:58,005
What are you talking about?
1549
01:37:58,006 --> 01:38:00,107
You need to film
your sister's wedding.
1550
01:38:00,108 --> 01:38:02,910
I don't want to.
1551
01:38:02,911 --> 01:38:05,446
You either switch on the camera
1552
01:38:05,447 --> 01:38:08,514
or I'm going upstairs and
grabbing your flower girl dress.
112642