Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:05,070
♪ I want to be your best boy,uh-huh ♪
2
00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:08,707
♪ I want to beyour toy, uh-huh ♪
3
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:12,044
♪ Do you thinkI can take every inch ♪
[ Rapid tapping ]
4
00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:15,347
♪ Of your love inside of me? ♪
5
00:00:15,382 --> 00:00:17,682
Yes, Gary?
6
00:00:17,717 --> 00:00:20,152
Hey, Benji,
I got this e-mail
7
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,087
saying they want to change
my summon word.
8
00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:24,289
Did you get that e-mail?
It's a phishing scam.
9
00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:25,757
Didn't you get the e-mail
warning about it?
10
00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:27,726
Yeah, I got that e-mail,
and it was about fishing,
11
00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:30,162
but they misspelled fishing.
12
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:32,064
So I thought maybe that was
from the real hackers
13
00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:33,799
and they're playing
4-D chess.
14
00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,667
Gary, if they have
your summon word,
15
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,070
they can summon you
at will.
16
00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:40,572
Well, I already clicked it,
and nothing happened.
17
00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:41,606
Guess I can
click it again.
18
00:00:41,641 --> 00:00:44,443
No!
Ohh-h-h-h!
19
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:45,677
[ Electricity crackles ]
20
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,512
Ohh! Ohh!
21
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,448
This is not good.
22
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,450
I'm gonna confess, I didn't
read the entire e-mail.
23
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,552
Gary, I told you not to clickon it, and now we're trapped.
24
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:56,455
Looks like our phishing trip
landed us a couple of big ones.
25
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,390
No, man!Dumb baby!
26
00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:00,125
[ Ghost moaning ]
27
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,327
[ Beeping ]
28
00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:04,797
[ Ghost moaning ]
29
00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:08,300
Our intern set up
a phishing scam
30
00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:09,801
to try to get
a demon's summon word.
31
00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:11,503
It looked likea legitimate e-mail.
32
00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:13,238
We even put up wards
on all the walls
33
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:14,773
to make sure that
none of them could escape.
34
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:17,509
Here's a door.Oh! Ow! Oh! Shit!
35
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:20,846
We've blocked off all the exits
so you can't escape, demon!
36
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:24,816
Yes, I'm coming!
Just hold on a damn second!
37
00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:27,119
Don't tell them
we're here.
38
00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:30,422
By the power of Christ,
we compel you, foul beast!
39
00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:31,690
Okay, you go cause
a distraction,
40
00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:33,158
and I'm gonna
clean off these wards.
41
00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:35,127
Why do I got to do
the distraction?
42
00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:37,662
'Cause I'm really good
at getting blood off walls.
43
00:01:37,697 --> 00:01:38,830
How in the world
do you think I juggled
44
00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:40,765
being a popular
local weatherman
45
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,767
while raping and eating
all those kids?
46
00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:45,637
You're a monster.
Yes, but I'm a winner.
47
00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:48,340
And unlike you,
I'm not some dipshit
48
00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:49,774
who got us
in this situation.
49
00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:52,644
So just do your job,
because you can't be trusted
50
00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:54,779
with anything important
ever!
51
00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:57,182
I'm not a dipshit, Benji.
52
00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:58,750
I'm a charismatic person
with tiny hands,
53
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,486
so people
are drawn to me.
54
00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:04,456
Now, you go
and you lick those walls
55
00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:08,527
like the dog that you are
while I go be a distraction,
56
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:12,631
which this whole operation
hinges upon.
57
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:13,932
Come up
and meet your fate!
58
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,734
I'm coming!
59
00:02:18,505 --> 00:02:20,539
[ Zipper opens ]
60
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:22,141
[ Groaning ]
61
00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:35,820
♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy,
I'm a Yankee Doodle Boy ♪
62
00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:38,590
♪ A real live nephew
of my Uncle Sam ♪
63
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:41,426
♪ Born on
the Fourth of July ♪
64
00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:43,361
[ Continues indistinctly ]
65
00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:45,263
Ahh.
66
00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:46,898
Okay, Gary, let's go!
We can escape!
67
00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:49,501
♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy ♪
68
00:02:49,536 --> 00:02:50,835
Gary, come on!
69
00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:52,938
♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle Boy ♪
70
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,674
♪ Yankee Doodle went to town
riding on a pony ♪
71
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:58,843
♪ I am that Yankee Doodle,
who is that Yankee Doodle? ♪
72
00:02:58,878 --> 00:03:03,715
♪ I am that Yankee Doodle
Booooooy ♪
73
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:06,985
Come now! We got to go!
It's closing!
74
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,520
[ Laughs ]
75
00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:09,554
♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle... ♪
76
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:12,357
Ah, screw it!
77
00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:15,560
Look like ol' Gary is back.
78
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:17,896
Lexi: We finally
had a real demon,
79
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:20,765
and he was eager
to tell his story.
80
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,801
How did you get into hell?
81
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,737
Let's just say that trouble
had a way of finding me.
82
00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:27,339
Can I take that back?
83
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,673
Is that okay?
To take back?
Yes, please.
84
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,275
Bblll-bbbblll-bblll-aaa.
85
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:31,877
[ Gibberish ]
86
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:38,650
[ Exhales sharply ]
87
00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:41,286
[ Deep voice ] Let's just say
trouble has a way of finding me.
88
00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:45,323
You don't seem too imposing
for a demon. Am I...?
89
00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:47,926
You don't seem too
charismatic for a host.
90
00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:50,929
How does he have a show
and I don't?
91
00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:52,030
Well, first of all,
I don't think you've sampled
92
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,366
enough of our material
to make that judgment call.
93
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:57,469
This is your show.
It's "Specter Inspectors."
94
00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,004
This is your show.
95
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:07,846
Man: ♪ Gary Bunda: Demon Killer,
Gary Bunda: Demon Killer ♪
96
00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:10,048
[ Laughs menacingly ]
97
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,783
Lexi: There hadn't been
many reports
98
00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:14,619
that this four-star
restaurant was haunted...
99
00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:15,920
[ Whirring and chirping ]
100
00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:17,822
...and I'm not getting
any readings, Gary.
101
00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:19,424
You're not reading
that machine correctly,
102
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:20,859
'cause I smell demons.
103
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:23,595
They must have turned tail
when Gary came around.
104
00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:26,531
Shh. Stay right here.
Stay back.
105
00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:28,033
Shh. Shh.
106
00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:32,604
Clear!
107
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,306
Come out, demon!
108
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:36,074
Come out with your horns up!
Whoa!
109
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,809
TV food celebrity
Rocco DiSpirito,
110
00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:39,377
what are you doing here?
111
00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:42,314
You hungry?
Yeah, of course I'm hungry.
112
00:04:42,349 --> 00:04:44,616
Dude, I made something
real special for you guys --
113
00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:47,319
raw vegan sunchoke dip.
Mmm.
114
00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:49,387
I like how the tortillas are
shaped like little demon horns.
115
00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:51,556
Yeah. I call them
demon horns-o-plenty.
116
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:53,091
Little more paprika.
117
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,727
If my horns were
as delicious as this,
118
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:57,662
people would hunt me
like a rhino.
119
00:04:57,697 --> 00:04:59,097
Tell me, you got a recipethat our viewers can check out?
120
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:02,534
Viewers?
No one watches this show.
121
00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:04,035
And look at all the shine
on his forehead.
122
00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:05,737
Shame on you,
makeup department.
123
00:05:05,772 --> 00:05:07,539
I wouldn't let this happen
on my show.
124
00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:10,342
And it should be my show because
I actually have TV experience --
125
00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:12,711
11 years as Charlotte's
top weatherman.
126
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,979
Does Satan have any idea
he's doing this?
127
00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:18,683
You mean you haven't seen
Gary's brilliant decoy?
128
00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:22,554
Hi. Sorry, I can't do that.
I'm working all day in my cube.
129
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:24,356
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
130
00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:25,257
State-of-the-art.
131
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,092
And who the hell's
pulling on the ropes?
132
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:30,395
I'm working all day in my cube.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
133
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:31,529
[ Clears throat ]
134
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:34,366
Gary asked me to do this
until his show goes on hiatus.
135
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:36,368
And, ah, where are you
supposed to be right now?
136
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:37,336
Hot liquids.
137
00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:39,905
But don't worry.
He made a decoy for me, too.
138
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,141
It's the seven circles
of hell,
139
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,876
and these peppers
are little demons.
140
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,745
I know.
It's hot like it's hell.
141
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:50,548
But honestly, the jalapeños,
I feel, is a little tropey.
142
00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:52,417
What are you doing?
That's my favorite gun!
143
00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:55,086
The name of the show
is "Gary Bunda: Demon Killer."
144
00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:57,722
What if --
spitballing here --
145
00:05:57,757 --> 00:06:01,926
we change the name of the show
to "Gary Bunda: Killer Eats"?
146
00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:03,094
We're not changing
the name of the show.
147
00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:04,796
Okay, what about
if we just change
148
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,164
the pronunciation
of the show, right?
149
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:10,101
So it's like,
"Gary Bunda: Demon Killer."
150
00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:12,170
Like, it's killer that --
Gary.
151
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,171
Like, it's awesome
152
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,807
that he's a demon
and that he's eating stuff.
153
00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:18,443
You said you were gonna kill
a different demon every week.
154
00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:20,478
Okay, well, you go
find me one, then.
155
00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:22,614
Because we've been to
every single rib-sticking
156
00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:24,616
down-home kitchen
across this great country,
157
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:26,885
and we have yet to find
a demon for me to kill,
158
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,053
but we have found
some excellent dishes
159
00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:31,122
made by home chefs
that are hungry...
Okay.
160
00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:32,891
...to share their food
with the entire country.
161
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:34,759
Okay, what about that one
we trapped you with?
162
00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:36,528
The child molester.
163
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,130
Well, he's a lot more
than just a child molester.
164
00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:41,199
Really?
Yes, he's also a cannibal.
165
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,601
He did bad things!
166
00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:46,438
But he's still one
of my best friends, okay?
167
00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:51,810
So I will not even think of
harming a hair on his head.
168
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:55,046
Unless it leads to some
form of second season.
169
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,449
[ Telephone rings ]
Benji.
170
00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:59,684
Gary: Hey, buddy.How you doing, Benji?
171
00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:01,953
What's the deal, man?
You left me at the hellmouth.
172
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:03,621
[ Scoffs ] Spare me.
173
00:07:03,656 --> 00:07:05,957
Your makeup team is blowing it,
by the way.
174
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,059
Not that I watch your show.
I mean, who does?
175
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,795
175,000 people watch my show,
176
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:13,531
Benji, as a matter of fact,
on the Haunt Network, alright?
177
00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:15,099
Which is channel 147.
178
00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:16,501
Yeah, well, I just used to be
179
00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:17,936
the number-one weatherman
in Charlotte
180
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:20,605
for 11 years straight before
the FBI raided my basement.
181
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,040
But what do I know?
182
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:24,709
Anyway, what do you want?
I'm really busy.
183
00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:29,814
We are doing a super-fun,
sinful fettuccine episode,
184
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:34,786
and I was wondering if maybe
you wanted to come co-host.
185
00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:39,224
I don't think I could get out
of work for that long.
186
00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:40,725
Yeah, I know, and that's why
I went ahead
187
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,227
and I whipped you up a decoy.
188
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:45,129
I bet it will get a lot more
work done than you do.
189
00:07:45,164 --> 00:07:47,699
[ Both laughing ]
190
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:50,568
I'm just busting your balls.[ Laughs ]
191
00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:52,036
Alright, I'll see you.
192
00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:53,505
[ Cellphone beeps ]
193
00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:58,710
Man: ♪ Demon Killer ♪
[ Laughs menacingly ]
194
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:00,078
GARY: I smell sulfur.
195
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:02,580
It's either a Denver omelette
or a demon.
196
00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:03,815
Let's go.
197
00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:04,782
[ Guns cock ]
198
00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:06,651
Oh! Hey, Gary.
199
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:09,654
I'm just here with
"Gunshow's" Kevin Gillespie
200
00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:13,625
making Devil Went Down
to Georgia Deviled Eggs.
201
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,727
That's redundant,
you child-molesting demon!
202
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,195
Hit it!
203
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:20,832
Gary?
204
00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:22,534
Kill him.
205
00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:26,638
Ohh! [ Groans ]
206
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:29,741
Shoot him in the head!
You've got more bullets.
207
00:08:32,278 --> 00:08:33,712
Kill him.
208
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:38,249
What?!
Wh-- What happened?
209
00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:40,885
You did it!
You killed him, Gary!
210
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,587
But I shot him
in the foot!
211
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,656
You shot Benji
with a silver bullet
212
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,591
dipped in wolf urine
blessed by the pope.
213
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:48,793
You said they were
demon-killing bullets.
214
00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:51,663
I made that shit up!
Well, how does it
make you feel?
215
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,031
You know, to kill
your best friend?
216
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:54,566
I don't want to be filmed
right now!
217
00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:56,901
I don't want to be filmed!
Okay? Alright?
218
00:08:56,936 --> 00:08:59,771
I just -- I need --
I need like five minutes, okay?
219
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:02,273
I think I might have killed
my best friend.
220
00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:04,075
Take all the time
you need.
221
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,777
[ Quietly ] Get him.
222
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:07,745
Does anybody want
to try the eggs?
Go away, Kevin!
223
00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:11,916
I'm so sorry,
Kevin Gillespie of "Gunshow."
224
00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:14,119
Were those the hero eggs?
Yeah.
225
00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:20,158
I need some air.
I need some air, please!
226
00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:23,895
[ Mutters ]
227
00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:30,735
Hello?
228
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:32,103
Hello?
229
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:34,839
Where is everybody?
Hello, there.
230
00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:37,375
I like to molest young boys.
231
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,977
Hello, there.
232
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,612
I like to molest young...
233
00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:45,083
Benji was so many things
to so many people --
234
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:47,919
a thoughtful helper
to his co-workers,
235
00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:50,822
beloved weatherman
to his fans.
236
00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:54,025
He didn't deserve to be slain
in his prime.
237
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:55,660
I'd say he's in a better place,
238
00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:56,661
but I'm not sure where the hell
you go from here.
239
00:09:56,696 --> 00:10:00,098
It was an accident.
I didn't want to do it.
240
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:01,666
I did it for the TV.
241
00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:03,101
Get out of here!
242
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,669
You're not welcome here!
243
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:07,772
Can I just go and say
goodbye one last time?
244
00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:09,140
Bought a big wall
245
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:10,642
'cause I thought you'd be
killing more demons,
246
00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:13,111
you know,
between duck sliders.
247
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,883
[ Sniffs ]
248
00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:20,685
It should have been me, Benji,
249
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:24,288
instead of you,
you perfect, perfect man.
250
00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:25,890
It should have been me!
251
00:10:27,226 --> 00:10:28,960
It should have been me!
252
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,297
This wall doesn't seem
very secure.
253
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,801
Noooooo!
254
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:39,704
Noooooooooo!
255
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,042
Gary!
256
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:46,344
Ga-- No! No!
257
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,212
When somebody comes to hell,
258
00:10:48,247 --> 00:10:49,981
you think they'regonna be here forever.
259
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:50,982
[ Sobs ]
260
00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:52,984
You see this?
261
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:55,253
Never be afraid to show your
emotions, even if they're fake.
262
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:56,688
You taught me that.
263
00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:57,889
That's how you win
a pair of these!
264
00:10:57,924 --> 00:11:02,360
Best Short-form Supernatural
Reality Show Unscripted, baby!
265
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:04,462
Gary: I don't really understand
how I don't win an Emmy
266
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:05,363
for my own damn show.
267
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,799
If these walls could talk?
Right, Satan?
268
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:10,735
Or more like if this shelf
could shut up. Am I right?
269
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,437
[ Laughing ]
I'm a man, not a shelf.
20278
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.