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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:05,070 ♪ I want to be your best boy, uh-huh ♪ 2 00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:08,707 ♪ I want to be your toy, uh-huh ♪ 3 00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:12,044 ♪ Do you think I can take every inch ♪ [ Rapid tapping ] 4 00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:15,347 ♪ Of your love inside of me? ♪ 5 00:00:15,382 --> 00:00:17,682 Yes, Gary? 6 00:00:17,717 --> 00:00:20,152 Hey, Benji, I got this e-mail 7 00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,087 saying they want to change my summon word. 8 00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:24,289 Did you get that e-mail? It's a phishing scam. 9 00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:25,757 Didn't you get the e-mail warning about it? 10 00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:27,726 Yeah, I got that e-mail, and it was about fishing, 11 00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:30,162 but they misspelled fishing. 12 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:32,064 So I thought maybe that was from the real hackers 13 00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:33,799 and they're playing 4-D chess. 14 00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,667 Gary, if they have your summon word, 15 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,070 they can summon you at will. 16 00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:40,572 Well, I already clicked it, and nothing happened. 17 00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:41,606 Guess I can click it again. 18 00:00:41,641 --> 00:00:44,443 No! Ohh-h-h-h! 19 00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:45,677 [ Electricity crackles ] 20 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,512 Ohh! Ohh! 21 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,448 This is not good. 22 00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,450 I'm gonna confess, I didn't read the entire e-mail. 23 00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,552 Gary, I told you not to click on it, and now we're trapped. 24 00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:56,455 Looks like our phishing trip landed us a couple of big ones. 25 00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,390 No, man! Dumb baby! 26 00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:00,125 [ Ghost moaning ] 27 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,327 [ Beeping ] 28 00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:04,797 [ Ghost moaning ] 29 00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:08,300 Our intern set up a phishing scam 30 00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:09,801 to try to get a demon's summon word. 31 00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:11,503 It looked like a legitimate e-mail. 32 00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:13,238 We even put up wards on all the walls 33 00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:14,773 to make sure that none of them could escape. 34 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:17,509 Here's a door. Oh! Ow! Oh! Shit! 35 00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:20,846 We've blocked off all the exits so you can't escape, demon! 36 00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:24,816 Yes, I'm coming! Just hold on a damn second! 37 00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:27,119 Don't tell them we're here. 38 00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:30,422 By the power of Christ, we compel you, foul beast! 39 00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:31,690 Okay, you go cause a distraction, 40 00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:33,158 and I'm gonna clean off these wards. 41 00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:35,127 Why do I got to do the distraction? 42 00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:37,662 'Cause I'm really good at getting blood off walls. 43 00:01:37,697 --> 00:01:38,830 How in the world do you think I juggled 44 00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:40,765 being a popular local weatherman 45 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,767 while raping and eating all those kids? 46 00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:45,637 You're a monster. Yes, but I'm a winner. 47 00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:48,340 And unlike you, I'm not some dipshit 48 00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:49,774 who got us in this situation. 49 00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:52,644 So just do your job, because you can't be trusted 50 00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:54,779 with anything important ever! 51 00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:57,182 I'm not a dipshit, Benji. 52 00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:58,750 I'm a charismatic person with tiny hands, 53 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,486 so people are drawn to me. 54 00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:04,456 Now, you go and you lick those walls 55 00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:08,527 like the dog that you are while I go be a distraction, 56 00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:12,631 which this whole operation hinges upon. 57 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:13,932 Come up and meet your fate! 58 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,734 I'm coming! 59 00:02:18,505 --> 00:02:20,539 [ Zipper opens ] 60 00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:22,141 [ Groaning ] 61 00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:35,820 ♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy, I'm a Yankee Doodle Boy ♪ 62 00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:38,590 ♪ A real live nephew of my Uncle Sam ♪ 63 00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:41,426 ♪ Born on the Fourth of July ♪ 64 00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:43,361 [ Continues indistinctly ] 65 00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:45,263 Ahh. 66 00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:46,898 Okay, Gary, let's go! We can escape! 67 00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:49,501 ♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy ♪ 68 00:02:49,536 --> 00:02:50,835 Gary, come on! 69 00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:52,938 ♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle Boy ♪ 70 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,674 ♪ Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony ♪ 71 00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:58,843 ♪ I am that Yankee Doodle, who is that Yankee Doodle? ♪ 72 00:02:58,878 --> 00:03:03,715 ♪ I am that Yankee Doodle Booooooy ♪ 73 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:06,985 Come now! We got to go! It's closing! 74 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,520 [ Laughs ] 75 00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:09,554 ♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle... ♪ 76 00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:12,357 Ah, screw it! 77 00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:15,560 Look like ol' Gary is back. 78 00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:17,896 Lexi: We finally had a real demon, 79 00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:20,765 and he was eager to tell his story. 80 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,801 How did you get into hell? 81 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,737 Let's just say that trouble had a way of finding me. 82 00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:27,339 Can I take that back? 83 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,673 Is that okay? To take back? Yes, please. 84 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,275 Bblll-bbbblll-bblll-aaa. 85 00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:31,877 [ Gibberish ] 86 00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:38,650 [ Exhales sharply ] 87 00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:41,286 [ Deep voice ] Let's just say trouble has a way of finding me. 88 00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:45,323 You don't seem too imposing for a demon. Am I...? 89 00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:47,926 You don't seem too charismatic for a host. 90 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:50,929 How does he have a show and I don't? 91 00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:52,030 Well, first of all, I don't think you've sampled 92 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,366 enough of our material to make that judgment call. 93 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:57,469 This is your show. It's "Specter Inspectors." 94 00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,004 This is your show. 95 00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:07,846 Man: ♪ Gary Bunda: Demon Killer, Gary Bunda: Demon Killer ♪ 96 00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:10,048 [ Laughs menacingly ] 97 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,783 Lexi: There hadn't been many reports 98 00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:14,619 that this four-star restaurant was haunted... 99 00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:15,920 [ Whirring and chirping ] 100 00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:17,822 ...and I'm not getting any readings, Gary. 101 00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:19,424 You're not reading that machine correctly, 102 00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:20,859 'cause I smell demons. 103 00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:23,595 They must have turned tail when Gary came around. 104 00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:26,531 Shh. Stay right here. Stay back. 105 00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:28,033 Shh. Shh. 106 00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:32,604 Clear! 107 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,306 Come out, demon! 108 00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:36,074 Come out with your horns up! Whoa! 109 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,809 TV food celebrity Rocco DiSpirito, 110 00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:39,377 what are you doing here? 111 00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:42,314 You hungry? Yeah, of course I'm hungry. 112 00:04:42,349 --> 00:04:44,616 Dude, I made something real special for you guys -- 113 00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:47,319 raw vegan sunchoke dip. Mmm. 114 00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:49,387 I like how the tortillas are shaped like little demon horns. 115 00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:51,556 Yeah. I call them demon horns-o-plenty. 116 00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:53,091 Little more paprika. 117 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,727 If my horns were as delicious as this, 118 00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:57,662 people would hunt me like a rhino. 119 00:04:57,697 --> 00:04:59,097 Tell me, you got a recipe that our viewers can check out? 120 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:02,534 Viewers? No one watches this show. 121 00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:04,035 And look at all the shine on his forehead. 122 00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:05,737 Shame on you, makeup department. 123 00:05:05,772 --> 00:05:07,539 I wouldn't let this happen on my show. 124 00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:10,342 And it should be my show because I actually have TV experience -- 125 00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:12,711 11 years as Charlotte's top weatherman. 126 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,979 Does Satan have any idea he's doing this? 127 00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:18,683 You mean you haven't seen Gary's brilliant decoy? 128 00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:22,554 Hi. Sorry, I can't do that. I'm working all day in my cube. 129 00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:24,356 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 130 00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:25,257 State-of-the-art. 131 00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,092 And who the hell's pulling on the ropes? 132 00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:30,395 I'm working all day in my cube. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 133 00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:31,529 [ Clears throat ] 134 00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:34,366 Gary asked me to do this until his show goes on hiatus. 135 00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:36,368 And, ah, where are you supposed to be right now? 136 00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:37,336 Hot liquids. 137 00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:39,905 But don't worry. He made a decoy for me, too. 138 00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,141 It's the seven circles of hell, 139 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,876 and these peppers are little demons. 140 00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,745 I know. It's hot like it's hell. 141 00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:50,548 But honestly, the jalapeños, I feel, is a little tropey. 142 00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:52,417 What are you doing? That's my favorite gun! 143 00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:55,086 The name of the show is "Gary Bunda: Demon Killer." 144 00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:57,722 What if -- spitballing here -- 145 00:05:57,757 --> 00:06:01,926 we change the name of the show to "Gary Bunda: Killer Eats"? 146 00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:03,094 We're not changing the name of the show. 147 00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:04,796 Okay, what about if we just change 148 00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,164 the pronunciation of the show, right? 149 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:10,101 So it's like, "Gary Bunda: Demon Killer." 150 00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:12,170 Like, it's killer that -- Gary. 151 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,171 Like, it's awesome 152 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,807 that he's a demon and that he's eating stuff. 153 00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:18,443 You said you were gonna kill a different demon every week. 154 00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:20,478 Okay, well, you go find me one, then. 155 00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:22,614 Because we've been to every single rib-sticking 156 00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:24,616 down-home kitchen across this great country, 157 00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:26,885 and we have yet to find a demon for me to kill, 158 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,053 but we have found some excellent dishes 159 00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:31,122 made by home chefs that are hungry... Okay. 160 00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:32,891 ...to share their food with the entire country. 161 00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:34,759 Okay, what about that one we trapped you with? 162 00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:36,528 The child molester. 163 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,130 Well, he's a lot more than just a child molester. 164 00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:41,199 Really? Yes, he's also a cannibal. 165 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,601 He did bad things! 166 00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:46,438 But he's still one of my best friends, okay? 167 00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:51,810 So I will not even think of harming a hair on his head. 168 00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:55,046 Unless it leads to some form of second season. 169 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,449 [ Telephone rings ] Benji. 170 00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:59,684 Gary: Hey, buddy. How you doing, Benji? 171 00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:01,953 What's the deal, man? You left me at the hellmouth. 172 00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:03,621 [ Scoffs ] Spare me. 173 00:07:03,656 --> 00:07:05,957 Your makeup team is blowing it, by the way. 174 00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,059 Not that I watch your show. I mean, who does? 175 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,795 175,000 people watch my show, 176 00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:13,531 Benji, as a matter of fact, on the Haunt Network, alright? 177 00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:15,099 Which is channel 147. 178 00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:16,501 Yeah, well, I just used to be 179 00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:17,936 the number-one weatherman in Charlotte 180 00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:20,605 for 11 years straight before the FBI raided my basement. 181 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,040 But what do I know? 182 00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:24,709 Anyway, what do you want? I'm really busy. 183 00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:29,814 We are doing a super-fun, sinful fettuccine episode, 184 00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:34,786 and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come co-host. 185 00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:39,224 I don't think I could get out of work for that long. 186 00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:40,725 Yeah, I know, and that's why I went ahead 187 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,227 and I whipped you up a decoy. 188 00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:45,129 I bet it will get a lot more work done than you do. 189 00:07:45,164 --> 00:07:47,699 [ Both laughing ] 190 00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:50,568 I'm just busting your balls. [ Laughs ] 191 00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:52,036 Alright, I'll see you. 192 00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:53,505 [ Cellphone beeps ] 193 00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:58,710 Man: ♪ Demon Killer ♪ [ Laughs menacingly ] 194 00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:00,078 GARY: I smell sulfur. 195 00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:02,580 It's either a Denver omelette or a demon. 196 00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:03,815 Let's go. 197 00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:04,782 [ Guns cock ] 198 00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:06,651 Oh! Hey, Gary. 199 00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:09,654 I'm just here with "Gunshow's" Kevin Gillespie 200 00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:13,625 making Devil Went Down to Georgia Deviled Eggs. 201 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,727 That's redundant, you child-molesting demon! 202 00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,195 Hit it! 203 00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:20,832 Gary? 204 00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:22,534 Kill him. 205 00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:26,638 Ohh! [ Groans ] 206 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:29,741 Shoot him in the head! You've got more bullets. 207 00:08:32,278 --> 00:08:33,712 Kill him. 208 00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:38,249 What?! Wh-- What happened? 209 00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:40,885 You did it! You killed him, Gary! 210 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,587 But I shot him in the foot! 211 00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,656 You shot Benji with a silver bullet 212 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,591 dipped in wolf urine blessed by the pope. 213 00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:48,793 You said they were demon-killing bullets. 214 00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:51,663 I made that shit up! Well, how does it make you feel? 215 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,031 You know, to kill your best friend? 216 00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:54,566 I don't want to be filmed right now! 217 00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:56,901 I don't want to be filmed! Okay? Alright? 218 00:08:56,936 --> 00:08:59,771 I just -- I need -- I need like five minutes, okay? 219 00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:02,273 I think I might have killed my best friend. 220 00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:04,075 Take all the time you need. 221 00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,777 [ Quietly ] Get him. 222 00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:07,745 Does anybody want to try the eggs? Go away, Kevin! 223 00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:11,916 I'm so sorry, Kevin Gillespie of "Gunshow." 224 00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:14,119 Were those the hero eggs? Yeah. 225 00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:20,158 I need some air. I need some air, please! 226 00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:23,895 [ Mutters ] 227 00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:30,735 Hello? 228 00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:32,103 Hello? 229 00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:34,839 Where is everybody? Hello, there. 230 00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:37,375 I like to molest young boys. 231 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,977 Hello, there. 232 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,612 I like to molest young... 233 00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:45,083 Benji was so many things to so many people -- 234 00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:47,919 a thoughtful helper to his co-workers, 235 00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:50,822 beloved weatherman to his fans. 236 00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:54,025 He didn't deserve to be slain in his prime. 237 00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:55,660 I'd say he's in a better place, 238 00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:56,661 but I'm not sure where the hell you go from here. 239 00:09:56,696 --> 00:10:00,098 It was an accident. I didn't want to do it. 240 00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:01,666 I did it for the TV. 241 00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:03,101 Get out of here! 242 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,669 You're not welcome here! 243 00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:07,772 Can I just go and say goodbye one last time? 244 00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:09,140 Bought a big wall 245 00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:10,642 'cause I thought you'd be killing more demons, 246 00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:13,111 you know, between duck sliders. 247 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,883 [ Sniffs ] 248 00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:20,685 It should have been me, Benji, 249 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:24,288 instead of you, you perfect, perfect man. 250 00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:25,890 It should have been me! 251 00:10:27,226 --> 00:10:28,960 It should have been me! 252 00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,297 This wall doesn't seem very secure. 253 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,801 Noooooo! 254 00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:39,704 Noooooooooo! 255 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,042 Gary! 256 00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:46,344 Ga-- No! No! 257 00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,212 When somebody comes to hell, 258 00:10:48,247 --> 00:10:49,981 you think they're gonna be here forever. 259 00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:50,982 [ Sobs ] 260 00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:52,984 You see this? 261 00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:55,253 Never be afraid to show your emotions, even if they're fake. 262 00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:56,688 You taught me that. 263 00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:57,889 That's how you win a pair of these! 264 00:10:57,924 --> 00:11:02,360 Best Short-form Supernatural Reality Show Unscripted, baby! 265 00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:04,462 Gary: I don't really understand how I don't win an Emmy 266 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:05,363 for my own damn show. 267 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,799 If these walls could talk? Right, Satan? 268 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:10,735 Or more like if this shelf could shut up. Am I right? 269 00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,437 [ Laughing ] I'm a man, not a shelf. 20278

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