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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,959 --> 00:00:05,919 The following presentation is rated 18A. 2 00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:10,183 This presentation deals with mature subject matter 3 00:00:10,184 --> 00:00:12,364 and contains scenes with coarse language, 4 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,360 nudity, sexuality, and violence. 5 00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:17,583 Viewer discretion is advised. 6 00:00:20,672 --> 00:00:21,982 onWhat Would Sal Do. 7 00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:23,365 -Maria. -Hey. 8 00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:24,938 -JOE: Hey. -Joe. 9 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:25,845 -Something's different about you. -Yeah? 10 00:00:25,938 --> 00:00:27,158 Yeah. Well, you look good. 11 00:00:27,244 --> 00:00:28,854 Okay, look if I'm Jesus 12 00:00:28,941 --> 00:00:30,601 how come I can't shoot out miracles, huh? 13 00:00:30,682 --> 00:00:32,122 Like, in the Bible, he's always shooting out miracles. 14 00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:34,206 All I want is for you to be a good person. 15 00:00:34,295 --> 00:00:35,295 So, I'm not a good person now? Really? 16 00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:36,823 A better person. 17 00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:38,856 -Do you even have a job? -I'm an entrepreneur. 18 00:00:38,951 --> 00:00:40,131 Why even ask me out if you can't pay for it? 19 00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:41,224 Don't flatter yourself. 20 00:00:41,302 --> 00:00:43,092 I wasn't asking you out. 21 00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:44,613 Did you hear what that paramedic said? 22 00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,126 If you hadn't noticed that guy was choking 23 00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:47,350 he would've died. 24 00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:49,048 She called it a miracle. 25 00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:50,396 Wasn't a miracle, it's a coincidence. 26 00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:51,875 Your mother and I have been 27 00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:54,274 waiting for 30 years for this day. 28 00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:55,578 We are going to change the world. 29 00:00:56,665 --> 00:00:58,145 You didn't think that all this 30 00:00:58,232 --> 00:00:59,492 was gonna end well for you, did you? 31 00:00:59,581 --> 00:01:01,321 [SCREAMS] 32 00:01:06,327 --> 00:01:07,717 You made a blind man see. 33 00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:09,980 You saved a man 34 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,110 from choking to death. 35 00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:11,851 So have tons of waiters. 36 00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:14,895 Look, everybody who hears the call 37 00:01:14,987 --> 00:01:16,467 has doubts. 38 00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:18,474 Even Jesus did, at first. 39 00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:19,376 Oh, yeah? Then how come you were so sure about me, huh? 40 00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:21,689 Well, I had my doubts. 41 00:01:22,821 --> 00:01:24,691 But every time I wavered, 42 00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:27,350 he always sent me a sign. 43 00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:28,565 You remember when the snow storm 44 00:01:28,653 --> 00:01:29,793 knocked out the power? 45 00:01:29,872 --> 00:01:31,182 We were gonna starve 46 00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:32,565 until I found all that 47 00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:33,917 canned salmon in the cold cellar. 48 00:01:35,356 --> 00:01:36,096 MARIA: Sal-mon? 49 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,227 Sal-mon! Get it? 50 00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:40,396 Well, I guess if we were Jamaican 51 00:01:40,491 --> 00:01:41,451 it might've been a sign, Mom, but... 52 00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:43,406 Look, all I'm asking, for now, 53 00:01:43,494 --> 00:01:44,374 is that you just try to be 54 00:01:44,452 --> 00:01:45,282 a good person. 55 00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:49,456 Why don't you offer to pay 56 00:01:49,544 --> 00:01:51,504 for Gloria's breakfast? 57 00:01:51,589 --> 00:01:53,329 -I don't want to pay for Gloria's breakfast. -It will be nice. 58 00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:54,807 I don't wanna pay for... [SIGHS] 59 00:01:58,640 --> 00:01:59,860 Ah, we'll just take the bill, I guess, and, uh... 60 00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:03,427 I'll pay for Gloria's breakfast too. 61 00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:04,524 Is it okay if Sal gets your breakfast, Gloria? 62 00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:05,652 What the fuck, bro? 63 00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:06,954 Sal would like to buy 64 00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:07,689 you breakfast. 65 00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:09,560 I'll pay for my own, thanks. 66 00:02:10,565 --> 00:02:11,475 What the hell, Gloria? 67 00:02:12,697 --> 00:02:14,047 He shat in my mailbox, 68 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,704 remember? 69 00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:17,087 Okay, but he's trying to make up for it. 70 00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:19,140 How'd you like it if I shit in your mailbox? 71 00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:20,576 -I'd like to see you get up there. -You should do that, Gloria. 72 00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:22,662 You should shit in my mailbox. 73 00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:23,451 -I'm gonna shit in your mailbox. -Calm down, Ma. 74 00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:24,624 Just forget her. 75 00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:26,019 The woman wears exercise 76 00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:26,892 pants in public. 77 00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:28,365 Thanks, man. 78 00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:30,410 Oh, hey, what's that? 79 00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:33,716 Oh, sorry, I must've charged you for the smoked salmon. 80 00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:35,675 Excuse me, 81 00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:38,034 did you just say sal-mon? 82 00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:40,034 No, I said salmon, like a normal person. 83 00:02:40,116 --> 00:02:40,806 Oh, you watch your tone with my mother. 84 00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:48,338 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 85 00:03:12,453 --> 00:03:13,583 Will you look at the way these 86 00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:15,371 women are dressed? 87 00:03:15,456 --> 00:03:16,846 You'd think it was some nightclub, 88 00:03:16,935 --> 00:03:18,625 for God's sake, instead of the Lord's house. 89 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:19,680 Oh, Ma, you really think God 90 00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:21,644 cares how women dress? 91 00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:23,333 -He can probably see right through their clothes. -No. 92 00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:24,680 You don't think God has X-ray vision? Get serious! 93 00:03:24,769 --> 00:03:26,379 Well, he probably could. 94 00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:28,117 Only God is not some gross pervert. 95 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,598 Well, then he did not create me in His image. 96 00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:33,169 Oh, is that Zia Leena. 97 00:03:34,692 --> 00:03:36,522 Gee, I'm sorry, Ma. 98 00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:37,997 I never see the woman, 'cause you don't talk to your own sister. 99 00:03:38,087 --> 00:03:40,087 We just... Never clicked. 100 00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:40,996 There's more to it than that, Ma, 101 00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:41,920 I know, c'mon tell me why. 102 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,143 Sally, hi. 103 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,045 Hey, Zee. 104 00:03:47,401 --> 00:03:48,661 -Maria. -Hi. 105 00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:49,930 It is so nice to see you 106 00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:51,802 helping out with the bake sale. 107 00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,583 -Yeah, she made me. -He's taking an interest. 108 00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:55,098 Well, whatever the reason, 109 00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:56,501 the church is lucky to have you here. 110 00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:57,894 With your charms, 111 00:03:57,976 --> 00:03:59,456 we're gonna sell out right away. 112 00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:00,543 -Oh, yeah. -[BOTH LAUGH] 113 00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:03,327 Oh, such a sweet boy. 114 00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:04,717 [LAUGHS] 115 00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:08,118 Oh, every time! I'm... 116 00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:10,772 [SIGHS] 117 00:04:29,181 --> 00:04:30,101 Oh, no. 118 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,013 [SIGHS] 119 00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:04,695 [CLICK] 120 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,794 SAL: If you guys really 121 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,190 believe this crap, why don't you 122 00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:18,493 just start telling people, huh? 123 00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:20,149 We will, just as soon as we have enough 124 00:05:20,232 --> 00:05:21,412 momentum to carry us over 125 00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:22,225 the threshold of belief. 126 00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:25,455 Right, that thing from the Bible. 127 00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:27,502 No, not the Bible. 128 00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:29,588 The threshold of belief is that point 129 00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:31,937 when you achieve a critical mass of followers 130 00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:33,547 that allows you to attract even more followers. 131 00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:35,197 And we do this 132 00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:36,511 by performing one good deed at a time. 133 00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:40,211 Okay... 134 00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:41,906 -Let me try it another way. -[CELLPHONE ALERTS] 135 00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:43,563 -Oh, Sal. -Sorry, Ma. I just... 136 00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:45,427 It's on silent. Okay, go on. 137 00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:47,779 When a record company signs an unknown band, 138 00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:49,519 they don't just release an album. 139 00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:51,440 You gotta get a bit of 140 00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:52,565 buzz going first. 141 00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:54,176 Father Luke's in a band. 142 00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:55,616 Oh, fuck right off! What kind of band? 143 00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:56,833 [CHUCKLES] Well, I don't like to talk about it too much. 144 00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:58,921 New country, I play bass. 145 00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:00,320 -Oh, yeah? What do you guys call yourselves? -Cross to Bear. 146 00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:01,063 That's a great name for a Christian rock band. 147 00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:02,623 It really is. Yeah. 148 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,320 It was my idea, but it is... Sal... 149 00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:05,707 I want to, 150 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,450 for lack of a better term, manage you. 151 00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:09,281 See, I believe, 152 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,809 that what I know about Christian rock 153 00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:12,592 can work for us too. 154 00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:14,286 -Us? -Of course. 155 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,814 We've been waiting 30 years for this moment. 156 00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,287 Oh, my God. Look, I can't be going around Sudbury 157 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,287 hanging out with a priest all the time. 158 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,509 -I can wear jeans. -You look ridiculous in jeans. 159 00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:21,637 Oh, it's true. 160 00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:23,079 [PHONE RINGING] 161 00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:26,517 FATHER LUKE: Holy Family Church? 162 00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:28,173 VINCE: Hi. Is Sal there, by any chance? 163 00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:29,517 It's Vince. 164 00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:32,216 -What? -[SIGHS] 165 00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:34,004 -Watch the... SAL: Yeah, Vince, what do you want? 166 00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:35,309 VINCE: Since when do you not answer your phone? 167 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:36,395 Since, I'm busy. What do you want? 168 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,697 I'm sick. 169 00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:41,399 I think I'm really sick, Sal. 170 00:06:41,488 --> 00:06:42,918 SAL: Oh, calm down, you're just having one of your freak outs. 171 00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:44,581 No, did you look at the picture 172 00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:45,265 I sent you? 173 00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:47,320 [SIGHS] 174 00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:50,926 Oh... 175 00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:51,719 SAL: Is that your nipple? 176 00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:54,022 That's my balls! 177 00:06:54,109 --> 00:06:55,849 And that's a lump that's on my balls. 178 00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:58,937 And I know I got it from Misty at the Rub 'n' Tub! 179 00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:01,157 SAL: Or maybe this is just like the time that 180 00:07:01,246 --> 00:07:02,416 you thought you had a brain tumor from your cell phone. 181 00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,549 Or Ebola from Sudbury African Safari. 182 00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:06,991 No, because I have been doing research, Sal. 183 00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:09,734 This is either syphilis or it's candida, 184 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,130 or it's herpes. 185 00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:15,217 Or it's AIDS. 186 00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:16,654 VINCE: AIDS, Sal. 187 00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:18,830 Ah, whatever. 188 00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:21,006 I know you don't wear diapers but 189 00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,962 it's kind of what you look like in jeans. 190 00:07:23,051 --> 00:07:24,311 SAL: Okay, so we just about done here or what? 191 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,360 Look, Sal, all we're asking 192 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,136 for now is that you just try to be 193 00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:28,229 a good person, okay? 194 00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:30,007 Is that so hard? 195 00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:32,361 This is coming from the woman who barely talks to her own sister. 196 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,112 I'll make you a deal. 197 00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:35,722 You just start doing some good deeds, okay? 198 00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:37,853 I mean, not miracles necessarily, but 199 00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:39,275 just like a good turn here or there. 200 00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:41,853 I'll make up with Leena. 201 00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:44,199 Fine. 202 00:07:44,289 --> 00:07:46,419 But I'm doing it on my own, okay? 203 00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:47,419 -What about cords? -No, no. 204 00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:49,210 [SIGHS] 205 00:07:52,733 --> 00:07:53,863 What do you mean, I'm banned? 206 00:07:53,951 --> 00:07:55,081 I'm sorry, sweetie. 207 00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:57,220 Some weirdo priest came in 208 00:07:57,302 --> 00:07:59,002 and paid us not to serve you anymore. I know... 209 00:07:59,087 --> 00:08:01,437 Oh, that fucking cock! 210 00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:02,094 I think it's great. 211 00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:05,085 Thanks to you and that hobo, I'm getting evicted. 212 00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:07,967 What? Why? 213 00:08:08,052 --> 00:08:09,272 Why are you getting evicted? 214 00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:11,228 Because when the police brought me home, 215 00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:13,096 somebody on my condo board did some digging and they 216 00:08:13,188 --> 00:08:14,538 found out where I work and now they want me out. 217 00:08:14,624 --> 00:08:15,974 Oh, shit. 218 00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:17,931 This is too perfect. 219 00:08:18,846 --> 00:08:20,016 How is this perfect? 220 00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:21,678 Thanks to you, I have to beg my 221 00:08:21,762 --> 00:08:23,722 stuck-up condo board to let me stay. 222 00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:25,547 Yeah, but you see, now I get to help you, right? So... 223 00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:26,505 [SCOFFS] Please, you can't even help yourself! 224 00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,033 Look at you! 225 00:08:28,116 --> 00:08:29,986 You know this attitude you got on display right now? 226 00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:31,904 This is the exact reason why I never 227 00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:33,299 -picked you to jerk me off, okay? -Whatever. 228 00:08:33,382 --> 00:08:34,042 -Do you want my help or not? -Not. 229 00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:36,465 Oh, well... 230 00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:39,211 That's too bad for you then. 231 00:08:39,301 --> 00:08:40,871 One of my good friends... 232 00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:41,825 One of my solid homies... 233 00:08:41,912 --> 00:08:43,652 He's a... He's a lawyer. 234 00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,350 And he probably for sure, represent you for free. 235 00:08:45,437 --> 00:08:46,127 The guy owes me like a ton of favors, so... 236 00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:48,395 But if you're good... 237 00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:51,265 -Really? -Yeah? 238 00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:52,306 But you're good though, so... 239 00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:20,393 Leena here? 240 00:09:21,517 --> 00:09:23,517 I was trying to call her but... 241 00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:24,866 I don't think she is 242 00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:26,035 taking my calls. 243 00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:26,960 She went out. 244 00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:29,261 She should be home soon. 245 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,492 So, you mind if I wait? 246 00:09:34,443 --> 00:09:36,013 Yeah. 247 00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:37,007 Sure, okay. 248 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:47,540 Thanks. 249 00:09:48,718 --> 00:09:49,808 So, uh... 250 00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:52,331 What's this about? 251 00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:55,859 We need to talk. 252 00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:57,507 Me and Leena. 253 00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:00,304 Right. 254 00:10:01,862 --> 00:10:02,562 You and Leena. 255 00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,960 [RING TONE] 256 00:10:15,049 --> 00:10:15,959 -CELESTE: Heavenly Hands spa, can I help you? -Oh, uh... 257 00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:18,748 May I speak to Misty, please? 258 00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:20,135 CELESTE: Oh, she's sick today. 259 00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:24,928 Hello? 260 00:10:26,103 --> 00:10:27,063 -[WHISPERS] Is it AIDS? -What? 261 00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:29,981 I mean, um... 262 00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:31,944 VINCE: Do your girls get tested regularly? 263 00:10:32,022 --> 00:10:33,552 Ah, I think you have us mistaken for 264 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,373 a different kind of establishment, officer. 265 00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:37,680 No, no, no, no... I'm not an officer. 266 00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:39,247 I'm not an officer. I was just in there the other day. 267 00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:41,554 I just want to talk to Misty. 268 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:42,901 I just need to speak to her. If you could give me her cell phone number? 269 00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,080 I want to show her a picture. 270 00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:44,985 Fuck off, Vince. 271 00:10:47,429 --> 00:10:48,169 Hello? 272 00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:52,997 It's definitely AIDS. 273 00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:56,963 DARYL: So, typically new clients have to pay 274 00:10:57,047 --> 00:10:58,007 a retainer of $1000. 275 00:10:59,006 --> 00:11:01,096 $1000? 276 00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:03,272 Unless you can get on the public defender's list, like Sal did. 277 00:11:03,358 --> 00:11:04,708 You told me you guys were best friends. 278 00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:06,194 Well, it's just like a formality... 279 00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:07,364 Well, yeah, if you define best friend is 280 00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:09,359 someone who steals your girlfriend, then, yeah. 281 00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:10,711 So, you were still mad about that. 282 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,190 Then, why do you think I got you to plead not guilty? 283 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,720 -Oh, my God. You lied to me! -You fuckin' banana. 284 00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,723 Well, that's really not a surprise. 285 00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:17,715 Sal once gave my girlfriend, and by extension me, 286 00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:19,067 chlamydia and had her convinced that 287 00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:19,976 it was just an allergic reaction 288 00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:21,380 to my balls. 289 00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:23,733 Classic. 290 00:11:23,813 --> 00:11:25,643 Yeah, but I'm not fucking like that anymore, okay? 291 00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:26,468 I swear, I'm not like that anymore. 292 00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:28,035 That was a long time ago. 293 00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:29,342 Anyway, Nicole as I was saying 294 00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:30,727 my retainer is for 295 00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:31,910 typical new clients. 296 00:11:31,995 --> 00:11:34,295 -But... -But I don't... 297 00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:35,219 See anything typical about you. 298 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,700 So, you'll waive the retainer? 299 00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:42,137 As long as you promise not to tell anybody. 300 00:11:42,223 --> 00:11:43,793 [NICOLE CHUCKLES] 301 00:11:43,877 --> 00:11:44,917 -It'll be our little secret. -What's going on here? 302 00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:46,788 [LAUGHS] 303 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,140 And you know, unlike Sal, I'm not going to lie to you. 304 00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:49,880 And I didn't peak in high school. 305 00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:50,930 -What? -Right? 306 00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:52,544 Yeah, exactly. 307 00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:54,374 So, most leases have a code of conduct 308 00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:55,452 that allows them to evict you in the advent of any 309 00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:57,980 unsavory behavior. 310 00:11:58,065 --> 00:11:58,585 -I haven't checked the case law... -But... 311 00:11:58,674 --> 00:12:00,984 Isn't there some 312 00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:02,808 sort of argument about the 313 00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:04,416 fundamental human right to earn a living? 314 00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:07,196 -Like I'm not hurting anybody. -Yeah. 315 00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:08,031 -I think it's a very smart argument... -As they say... 316 00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:10,028 Unfortunately, it's just 317 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,430 not enough because it all boils down to 318 00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:13,123 the legality of... 319 00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:14,430 And the fact that you've got this really shitty lawyer. 320 00:12:14,516 --> 00:12:16,646 Okay, well, if you think you can solve 321 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:17,556 your friend's problems, then... 322 00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:19,089 -No, no, no... -[ALL ARGUING] 323 00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:21,183 [ALL ARGUING] 324 00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:22,872 You know what... 325 00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:24,529 It looks like Sal is on the case. 326 00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:25,093 No, really that's fine by me... 327 00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:27,789 [ALL ARGUING] 328 00:12:27,877 --> 00:12:29,307 Hey, Sal, I've been meaning to ask you, 329 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,010 that secretary that you ended up 330 00:12:31,098 --> 00:12:33,538 fucking over the PA system in high school, 331 00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:34,582 was that the guidance counselor's wife? 332 00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:38,584 Good luck. 333 00:12:43,588 --> 00:12:45,768 -They were engaged. -I don't... 334 00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:46,422 But they'd been engaged for years! It was never gonna happen. 335 00:12:46,504 --> 00:12:48,384 Stop fuckin' following me. 336 00:12:48,463 --> 00:12:49,463 Why... Don't you want my help? 337 00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:51,601 No, no. 338 00:12:51,683 --> 00:12:52,603 -I'm fuckin' better off on my own. -Are you kidding me? 339 00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:54,344 Look, I made a promise, okay? 340 00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:55,595 To my mother that I would help people in need. 341 00:12:55,687 --> 00:12:56,857 My poor, sick 342 00:12:56,950 --> 00:12:58,820 fuckin' dying... 343 00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:00,478 Okay, she's not dying. But, look, I did tell her 344 00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:02,002 that I would try and be a better person, okay? 345 00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:02,995 So, that's what I'm trying to do. 346 00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:06,438 Thank goodness, she fuckin' spoiled your ass, 347 00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:07,404 -you know that, right? -What? 348 00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:11,139 Spoiled my ass, huh? 349 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,400 -What do you know? Fuck. -I know, because I've been there. 350 00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:17,881 All this confidence with nothing to back it up. [LAUGHS] 351 00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:18,891 Oh, really? 352 00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:20,712 Nothing, huh? 353 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,800 My family spoiled me too. 354 00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:25,626 But it came at a price. 355 00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:26,757 So, eventually, I just said, fuck it, and... 356 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,638 I went off and did my own thing. 357 00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:32,382 Hence the handies for a living. Respect. 358 00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:33,733 Fuck them. 359 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:34,813 No, you fuckin' asshole... 360 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:38,687 I wanted to be a painter. 361 00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:44,737 -Anyway, that's my lame story. -Hey, where you going? 362 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,044 Don't do that to yourself. 363 00:13:46,129 --> 00:13:47,569 Don't say that... You got a lame story. 364 00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:49,962 Look, all the girls at the parlor got a story. 365 00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,606 Paige is three credits shy of her bachelor's, 366 00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:53,350 Krista is a hell of a golfer. 367 00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:55,101 Valerie's been taking care of her quadriplegic father 368 00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:57,532 by herself since she was, like 17. 369 00:13:57,619 --> 00:13:58,099 Fuck, we all gotta make a living. 370 00:13:59,447 --> 00:14:00,397 It's life. 371 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,020 So, is this why all the girls at 372 00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:05,705 the massage parlor love you so much? 373 00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:07,802 Because you listen to them? 374 00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:10,329 I don't know. 375 00:14:10,414 --> 00:14:12,294 I like people. 376 00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:13,463 You can be yanking by lever, you're still a person. 377 00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:20,563 -God damn right there. -God damn right there. 378 00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:28,822 Get in. 379 00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:31,258 Get in? 380 00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:31,698 -Get in! -[EXCLAIMS] 381 00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:44,064 You know, I think this was a mistake. 382 00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:45,154 I'm just gonna go. 383 00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:46,972 Just... 384 00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:48,060 Tell Leena that I was here, okay? 385 00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:53,678 You know, you two aren't the only ones with unfinished business. 386 00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:55,332 What the hell is that supposed to mean? 387 00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:56,456 Still claiming you were a pregnant virgin? 388 00:14:58,854 --> 00:14:59,814 I never cheated on you, Joe. 389 00:15:02,031 --> 00:15:03,251 For Pete's sake, Joe, 390 00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:05,428 I'm still a virgin. 391 00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:08,427 Jesus, Maria! 392 00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:10,819 You're pathological. 393 00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:15,215 -I still wear my purity ring. -So what? 394 00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:17,045 Just 'cause I have a wedding ring doesn't mean I'm faithful. 395 00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:18,093 -It doesn't? -Not me. I'm just saying a ring 396 00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:19,218 doesn't mean anything. 397 00:15:19,309 --> 00:15:19,879 Well, it does to me. 398 00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:22,307 C'mon, you still expect 399 00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:23,179 me to believe this? 400 00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:26,453 No, you know, you're right. 401 00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:29,541 After 30 years, 402 00:15:29,624 --> 00:15:30,804 why should I expect you to believe anything? 403 00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:38,719 I've rented an apartment here 404 00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:40,157 for five years, 405 00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:41,163 and how many complaints have I had? 406 00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:43,073 Zero. 407 00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:44,549 I always pay my rent on time, 408 00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:46,289 I even pick up other people's 409 00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:47,250 dog shit on the front path. 410 00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:49,561 But the morality clause 411 00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:51,304 in the lease is quite clear. 412 00:15:51,385 --> 00:15:53,125 And those rules are 413 00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:55,613 old-fashioned, sexist, and oppressive. 414 00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:57,223 And she wasn't even on premises 415 00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:58,834 when she was doing the immoral stuff. 416 00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:00,574 I mean, I'm sure she has done some dirty stuff 417 00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:01,475 in her apartment before but that doesn't count, 418 00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:03,879 right? 419 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:04,923 -What? -Shut up. 420 00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,489 [SIGHS] Sex work 421 00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:10,266 doesn't have to be shameful. 422 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,450 It can be profitable for the workers, 423 00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:14,406 -fulfilling for the clients... -Well, I'll vouch for that. 424 00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:15,495 I'm afraid, that's only one opinion. 425 00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:18,796 And I'm afraid that's a narrow view on 426 00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,370 what's appropriate for women, 427 00:16:20,457 --> 00:16:22,157 otherwise known as bigotry. 428 00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:24,112 -Boom! -Do you even live here? 429 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,640 Are you a fucking bigot or what! 430 00:16:25,723 --> 00:16:27,203 Look at this guy, come at me with bigotry too! 431 00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:28,680 I'm not a bigot. 432 00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:30,690 You expect us to believe sex work 433 00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:32,472 can be good for our communities? 434 00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:33,636 [MOCK LAUGHS] Yeah. 435 00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:36,078 Think of all the women 436 00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:37,689 who don't have the time or the skill set 437 00:16:37,779 --> 00:16:39,299 to get a traditional job. 438 00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:40,479 Sex work can better their lives 439 00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:41,704 and the lives of their families. 440 00:16:41,783 --> 00:16:43,223 College students, 441 00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:44,916 single mothers, 442 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,354 you know, who don't have degrees. 443 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:47,620 Like Sal's mother, for example. 444 00:16:47,702 --> 00:16:48,662 No fuckin' way! What? 445 00:16:48,746 --> 00:16:50,616 It's just an example. 446 00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:52,315 No, I don't like that example. Stricken from the record, please. 447 00:16:52,402 --> 00:16:54,272 So you wouldn't be comfortable 448 00:16:54,361 --> 00:16:55,361 if your mother masturbated 449 00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:56,579 off men for a living? 450 00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:57,407 Fuck no, Gerald. Would you? 451 00:16:58,669 --> 00:17:00,369 Mic drop. 452 00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:02,154 You better shut the fuck up now. 453 00:17:02,238 --> 00:17:03,408 I'm tired of this bigotry, Gerald. 454 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:04,890 I'm tired of you eating the free snacks. 455 00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,030 What'd you say about the fucking snacks? 456 00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,682 Just go... Go, go, go. 457 00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:08,805 Well, you're a fucking snack. 458 00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:13,123 All you had to do was nod your head like 459 00:17:13,206 --> 00:17:14,246 a dashboard dummy and keep your 460 00:17:14,337 --> 00:17:15,947 fat mouth shut. 461 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,075 Yeah, then you went off about my mother. 462 00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:18,426 What was I supposed to do, huh? 463 00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:20,255 Oh, right, your saint of a mother. 464 00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:21,913 Watch it now, okay? 465 00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:22,867 You should've seen her before... 466 00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,174 She's a co-dependent enabler. 467 00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:26,221 -And you two have a fucked-up relationship. -Holy shit! 468 00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:27,736 I'm sorry but somebody needs to tell you, okay? 469 00:17:31,441 --> 00:17:32,661 Holy fuck! Wait, the fuck, hold on! 470 00:17:37,926 --> 00:17:39,226 FATHER LUKE: Sal, what you're asking for 471 00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:41,189 is against all the teachings of the Church. 472 00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:42,537 Look, it's not like I'm asking you to support 473 00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:44,016 gay marriage or something. 474 00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,146 FATHER LUKE: Sal, I'm a priest. 475 00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:47,108 I can't just go meddling in people's affairs. 476 00:17:47,196 --> 00:17:48,976 Oh, no? Then why'd you go to the rub 'n' tug 477 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,498 and tell them not to serve me anymore, huh? 478 00:17:50,591 --> 00:17:52,721 WOMAN: Bless me father, for I have sinned. 479 00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,380 -Shit. -Yeah, bullshit is more like it. 480 00:17:54,464 --> 00:17:56,954 Um, confess your sins, my child. 481 00:17:57,032 --> 00:17:58,472 Look. You think it's a coincidence 482 00:17:58,555 --> 00:17:59,555 that the same people I'm trying to fuck over 483 00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:01,173 are in your shitty band? 484 00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:02,824 You've never even heard us play! 485 00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:03,907 WOMAN: I called my husband a dick. 486 00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:05,205 Go on. 487 00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:06,911 You know how Ma's always 488 00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:08,038 going on about signs, and stuff like that, 489 00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:10,220 and how half of them are nuts, but 490 00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:11,566 there is such a thing as signs, right? 491 00:18:11,655 --> 00:18:12,735 Of course. 492 00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:14,310 Like the fact that 493 00:18:14,397 --> 00:18:15,267 your band members are on my 494 00:18:15,355 --> 00:18:16,875 friend's condo board. 495 00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:18,005 SAL: My friend I'm trying to help. 496 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,267 -Holy balls. -SAL: Yeah. 497 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,840 -WOMAN: Pardon? -Oh, uh, nothing. 498 00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:24,097 FATHER LUKE: There's no denying that's a sign. 499 00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:26,760 A very big sign. 500 00:18:26,844 --> 00:18:28,284 WOMAN: Who are you talking to there? 501 00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:30,888 FATHER LUKE: God! I won't be a minute. 502 00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:32,499 Sal, if I'm going to break the sacrament of confession for you, 503 00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:33,809 I want in. 504 00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,545 Fine. 505 00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:37,376 I want to be your spiritual advisor. 506 00:18:37,464 --> 00:18:39,164 -That means you have to listen to me. -Okay. 507 00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:41,078 -Really listen to me. -Okay. 508 00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:41,863 And trust me. 509 00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,340 So you're worried you contracted an 510 00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:48,259 STD from an erotic massage? 511 00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:49,874 Yes, so if I 512 00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:51,654 could get a bunch of meds... 513 00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:53,439 I can't prescribe medication 514 00:18:53,523 --> 00:18:54,613 unless it's medically necessary. 515 00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:56,960 I'm worried that I might have... 516 00:18:58,528 --> 00:18:59,358 [WHISPERS] AIDS. 517 00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:00,748 What? 518 00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:02,750 AIDS. 519 00:19:03,272 --> 00:19:04,012 AIDS? 520 00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:08,062 I'm sure it's not but 521 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:08,887 we'll order some tests to rule it out. 522 00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:11,154 How long will that take? 523 00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:12,457 Two weeks. 524 00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:14,202 What do I do until then? 525 00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:15,853 Relax, go for a massage. 526 00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:20,423 Are you joking? 527 00:19:21,812 --> 00:19:22,552 Hello? 528 00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:32,174 Oh, Maria, I need to speak to you. 529 00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:32,868 Come here. 530 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:38,180 I've got some amazing news. 531 00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:40,001 Sal came to me for help. 532 00:19:41,354 --> 00:19:42,014 On purpose? 533 00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:44,007 Yes! 534 00:19:44,095 --> 00:19:45,705 Get this, he wants to do good. 535 00:19:46,576 --> 00:19:49,096 I know, it's wonderful. 536 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,538 Now, I had to bend the rules a little bit, but I... 537 00:19:50,624 --> 00:19:52,934 -Maria? -Leena! 538 00:19:53,017 --> 00:19:53,667 -Hi, Father Luke. -[CHUCKLES] 539 00:19:54,932 --> 00:19:56,152 It's nice to see you. 540 00:20:00,503 --> 00:20:02,113 You come by my house when I'm not 541 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,511 home and you hit on my husband? 542 00:20:03,593 --> 00:20:04,993 What? 543 00:20:05,073 --> 00:20:07,163 No, I was looking for you. 544 00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:07,729 [SCOFFS] For what? 545 00:20:08,685 --> 00:20:09,555 I wanted to talk to you. 546 00:20:11,427 --> 00:20:13,557 I wanted... To make up with you. 547 00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:14,737 Oh, by hitting on my husband? 548 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,905 Could we not do this here? 549 00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:19,169 This is our father's memorial mass. 550 00:20:20,915 --> 00:20:22,475 Just stay away from Joe. 551 00:20:22,569 --> 00:20:24,269 Leena. 552 00:20:24,353 --> 00:20:25,753 Joe is not interested in me anymore. 553 00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:29,099 It's not Joe I'm worried about. 554 00:20:35,582 --> 00:20:36,582 It's okay. 555 00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:38,280 [BOTH ARGUING] 556 00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:39,187 What's happening here? 557 00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:46,719 I'm here to fuckin' tell you, that your shit, 558 00:20:47,724 --> 00:20:49,554 it stinks like shit. 559 00:20:49,639 --> 00:20:50,469 -What? -What? 560 00:20:51,641 --> 00:20:53,601 Gerald, did you tell your wife 561 00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:55,297 that it was over with Donna in the secretarial pool? 562 00:20:55,384 --> 00:20:56,524 [SCOFFS] It is over. 563 00:20:56,603 --> 00:20:58,003 Yeah? Then why were you pounding 564 00:20:58,082 --> 00:20:59,782 her in the photocopy room last week? 565 00:20:59,867 --> 00:21:02,347 -Pounding's a strong word. -Your word. 566 00:21:02,435 --> 00:21:03,865 And, Jim, you know what time it is? 567 00:21:03,958 --> 00:21:05,128 It's time to tell your kids 568 00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:06,400 there's no inheritance left, 569 00:21:06,482 --> 00:21:08,182 you degenerate fuckin' gambler. 570 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,267 Throwing spoons at prostitutes, bro? 571 00:21:10,181 --> 00:21:11,751 What the fuck? 572 00:21:11,835 --> 00:21:13,655 And, Abigail? 573 00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:15,930 My God! Dear sweet Abigail! 574 00:21:16,013 --> 00:21:16,753 You kiss your mother with that mouth? 575 00:21:17,885 --> 00:21:19,405 No, she actually does people. 576 00:21:19,495 --> 00:21:21,405 She kisses her mother with that mouth. 577 00:21:21,497 --> 00:21:22,847 Live online. Three nights a week. 578 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,023 As we are gathered here, 579 00:21:26,110 --> 00:21:27,720 I invite you all 580 00:21:27,808 --> 00:21:29,378 to imagine that you're holding 581 00:21:29,462 --> 00:21:30,682 a stone of judgment. 582 00:21:31,986 --> 00:21:33,636 Then I want you to ask yourself 583 00:21:33,727 --> 00:21:35,117 why am I carrying this stone? 584 00:21:37,513 --> 00:21:39,563 Now, we all know the parable 585 00:21:39,646 --> 00:21:41,166 of the adulteress 586 00:21:41,256 --> 00:21:42,816 surrounded by the mob of 587 00:21:42,910 --> 00:21:44,560 enraged men, 588 00:21:45,608 --> 00:21:46,828 each with a 589 00:21:46,914 --> 00:21:47,744 stone at the ready. 590 00:21:49,699 --> 00:21:52,269 Now, Jesus, he understood 591 00:21:52,354 --> 00:21:53,794 that we all carry judgment in our hearts. 592 00:21:54,835 --> 00:21:55,655 Each one of us. 593 00:21:57,011 --> 00:21:58,011 So he challenged the men. 594 00:21:59,274 --> 00:22:00,934 He said, 595 00:22:01,015 --> 00:22:02,275 "Let he who is without sin 596 00:22:03,060 --> 00:22:05,190 "cast the first stone." 597 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:06,630 All I'm saying, 598 00:22:06,716 --> 00:22:07,976 is you people have some 599 00:22:08,065 --> 00:22:09,675 fucking set of balls on you 600 00:22:09,763 --> 00:22:11,073 to judge this beautiful lady 601 00:22:11,155 --> 00:22:12,805 with how she makes a living, 602 00:22:12,896 --> 00:22:14,416 when your lives are a goddamn moral disgrace? 603 00:22:14,507 --> 00:22:15,987 -Now, hang on... -Hang on, Gerald, 604 00:22:16,073 --> 00:22:17,953 you are the most fucked up man in this room. You better watch it. 605 00:22:18,032 --> 00:22:19,252 You and I both know this. 606 00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,638 You see it in my eyes that I know shit. 607 00:22:20,730 --> 00:22:22,120 Sal? Sal! 608 00:22:22,210 --> 00:22:23,210 -Vince? -Oh, my God, Nicole! 609 00:22:23,298 --> 00:22:24,428 Oh, my God. 610 00:22:24,517 --> 00:22:26,297 -Did Misty give me AIDS? -What? 611 00:22:26,388 --> 00:22:28,518 When she rub 'n tugged me, did she put AIDS inside of me? 612 00:22:28,608 --> 00:22:29,648 You're the second most fucked up guy now, Gerald. 613 00:22:29,739 --> 00:22:30,699 -My apologies. -I gotta know. 614 00:22:31,654 --> 00:22:33,534 And one by one, the men 615 00:22:33,613 --> 00:22:35,533 dropped their stones and they 616 00:22:35,615 --> 00:22:37,085 walked away, because they had 617 00:22:37,181 --> 00:22:38,661 learned a valuable 618 00:22:38,748 --> 00:22:40,578 lesson that day. 619 00:22:42,448 --> 00:22:43,098 [CLEARS THROAT] 620 00:22:46,321 --> 00:22:47,371 You know what? I think, I'm just going to 621 00:22:47,453 --> 00:22:49,113 cut to the chase. I'm gonna talk about the 622 00:22:49,193 --> 00:22:51,073 parable, about turning the other cheek. 623 00:22:51,152 --> 00:22:52,942 Because that is a very valuable lesson 624 00:22:53,023 --> 00:22:54,243 that we could all put to practice, every day. 625 00:22:57,941 --> 00:22:59,421 You know what I'm like. I get a thing in my mind, 626 00:22:59,508 --> 00:23:02,118 and it's just like... [EXCLAIMS] 627 00:23:02,206 --> 00:23:03,686 I can't... I don't even know what AIDS feels like. 628 00:23:03,773 --> 00:23:05,823 It's itching and burning. 629 00:23:05,906 --> 00:23:07,206 Shut the fuck up, Vince. I know, what you're like. 630 00:23:07,298 --> 00:23:09,168 Okay? 631 00:23:09,257 --> 00:23:10,737 How long have I known you? Our whole fucking lives. 632 00:23:10,824 --> 00:23:11,304 -I know what you're like. -All right. 633 00:23:13,609 --> 00:23:14,829 Which... 634 00:23:17,178 --> 00:23:17,918 Is why I should've been there for you. 635 00:23:19,615 --> 00:23:21,005 I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you today. 636 00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:23,271 Misty doesn't have AIDS. 637 00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:28,064 -Really? -Misty doesn't have AIDS. 638 00:23:28,145 --> 00:23:30,405 I told you, buddy. I told you, buddy. You're gonna be fine. 639 00:23:30,496 --> 00:23:31,926 -[SIGHS] -You're gonna be fine. 640 00:23:32,019 --> 00:23:33,409 -Oh, my God. -Yeah. 641 00:23:33,499 --> 00:23:35,369 You wanna go celebrate? You get a burger? 642 00:23:35,457 --> 00:23:36,367 No, no, um... 643 00:23:38,112 --> 00:23:38,772 I'm gonna stick around here for a little bit. 644 00:23:39,983 --> 00:23:41,813 See how that plays out. 645 00:23:41,898 --> 00:23:44,118 -That? Yeah? -Yeah. Yeah. 646 00:23:44,205 --> 00:23:45,985 -You want me to stay? -No, you should take off. 647 00:23:46,076 --> 00:23:47,336 -Okay. -Just take off, yeah? 648 00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:47,986 Thank you. 649 00:23:54,041 --> 00:23:56,261 So, your... 650 00:23:56,347 --> 00:23:58,307 Your buddy's got, like, some problems right? 651 00:23:58,393 --> 00:23:59,313 Vince doesn't have problems. 652 00:24:00,308 --> 00:24:02,088 No, he's insane. 653 00:24:02,179 --> 00:24:04,439 Like, we've been worried about him for years... 654 00:24:04,530 --> 00:24:05,880 Just, you know, it's expensive to get 655 00:24:08,055 --> 00:24:08,925 -treatment and care. -Mmm-hmm. 656 00:24:14,583 --> 00:24:15,153 Look, um... 657 00:24:17,804 --> 00:24:18,464 I feel like... 658 00:24:19,849 --> 00:24:21,239 I just wanna tell you why 659 00:24:21,329 --> 00:24:22,939 I never picked you at the rub 'n tug. 660 00:24:23,026 --> 00:24:24,896 Sal, it's okay. A lot of guys don't pick me. 661 00:24:24,985 --> 00:24:27,635 Yeah, I know, but it's not like I didn't want you 662 00:24:31,382 --> 00:24:33,692 -to do a masturbate on me. -[CHUCKLES] 663 00:24:33,776 --> 00:24:35,166 I just hoped that... 664 00:24:37,476 --> 00:24:40,386 That when you did it, it'd be for free. 665 00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:41,779 -For free? -Not a fuckin' freebie or nothing but... 666 00:24:44,308 --> 00:24:45,348 Like, I don't know. Maybe it would be... 667 00:24:47,050 --> 00:24:49,360 After a date. 668 00:24:49,444 --> 00:24:50,314 Or during a date if it's going well. 669 00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:56,322 'Cause I wanna fuck your tits but I want you to want me to fuck your tits, you know? 670 00:25:00,281 --> 00:25:02,241 I just... I want you to be the girl who sits on my face 671 00:25:02,326 --> 00:25:03,456 but I want it to mean something to both of us. 672 00:25:04,938 --> 00:25:05,678 That's all. 673 00:25:07,767 --> 00:25:10,857 So, good news, you can stay. 674 00:25:10,944 --> 00:25:12,904 -Holy shit, look at that. -Oh, my goodness. 675 00:25:12,989 --> 00:25:14,509 [BOTH CHEER] 676 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,860 [LAUGHS] 677 00:25:16,950 --> 00:25:18,780 -It's a miracle. -Bad news, my wife's leaving me. 678 00:25:21,041 --> 00:25:22,301 Marriages, man. 679 00:25:22,390 --> 00:25:24,000 -Sucks. -Yeah. 680 00:25:24,087 --> 00:25:25,957 Let's go out, we're gonna go celebrate. 681 00:25:26,046 --> 00:25:28,606 What do you wanna do? We're gonna go to Wacky Wings and go to SRO? 682 00:25:28,701 --> 00:25:30,831 Or you wanna say, fuck it. Just go Coulson's right away, hit the half ribs. 683 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,880 What do you wanna do? Anything. 684 00:25:35,925 --> 00:25:36,875 Daryl asked me out. 685 00:25:40,713 --> 00:25:41,763 What'd you say? 686 00:25:42,802 --> 00:25:43,982 When he asked you out. 687 00:25:45,892 --> 00:25:47,202 I need stability in my life. 688 00:25:49,069 --> 00:25:50,239 Somebody who knows what they want. 689 00:25:53,203 --> 00:25:54,293 And what, Daryl's that guy? 690 00:25:57,294 --> 00:25:58,304 I think I wanna find out. 691 00:26:03,692 --> 00:26:08,352 What about... I don't know. What about us? I mean... 692 00:26:08,436 --> 00:26:10,606 I just thought that we could have had something going, you know. 693 00:26:10,699 --> 00:26:12,049 Something kinda special. 694 00:26:13,659 --> 00:26:14,439 Come on. 695 00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:20,538 Bye, Sal. 696 00:26:22,493 --> 00:26:23,843 Thank you for everything. 697 00:27:01,924 --> 00:27:03,064 Fuck that shit. 698 00:27:18,114 --> 00:27:19,514 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 699 00:27:28,429 --> 00:27:29,519 How's it goin', Ma? 700 00:27:33,869 --> 00:27:35,219 [SIGHS] 701 00:27:35,305 --> 00:27:36,655 Tell me everything. 702 00:27:40,267 --> 00:27:42,967 Well, I did do some good today. 703 00:27:44,793 --> 00:27:46,013 Didn't quite work out the way I hoped, but... 704 00:27:48,536 --> 00:27:49,486 Rarely does. 705 00:27:51,931 --> 00:27:52,931 How'd it go with you and Zia Leena? 706 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:56,280 [SCOFFS] Not great. 707 00:27:59,547 --> 00:28:00,847 What happened with you two, anyway, huh? 708 00:28:05,509 --> 00:28:07,469 We fought over a boy once and... 709 00:28:09,383 --> 00:28:11,343 We just never recovered. 710 00:28:13,866 --> 00:28:18,696 How come you never, like, I don't know... 711 00:28:18,784 --> 00:28:19,654 Did the whole dating thing or... 712 00:28:23,049 --> 00:28:24,619 It's hard to find anybody worth it. 713 00:28:26,705 --> 00:28:27,435 Yeah. 714 00:28:29,011 --> 00:28:30,321 Plus I had you. 715 00:28:34,016 --> 00:28:36,316 -You want me to make you something to eat? -No, I'm not hungry, Ma. 716 00:28:43,809 --> 00:28:47,069 You think it's true that everyone's got one person they're meant to be with? 717 00:28:49,945 --> 00:28:50,545 I hope not. 718 00:28:52,992 --> 00:28:55,432 It'd be a pretty cruel world if that were true. 719 00:28:58,171 --> 00:29:01,001 Anyway, at least, we always have each other. 720 00:29:02,001 --> 00:29:02,701 Hmm? 721 00:29:04,351 --> 00:29:05,351 Yeah, Ma, yeah, we do. 50376

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