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The following
presentation is rated 18A.
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This presentation deals
with mature subject matter
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and contains scenes
with coarse language,
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nudity, sexuality, and violence.
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Viewer discretion is advised.
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onWhat Would Sal Do.
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-Maria.
-Hey.
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-JOE: Hey.
-Joe.
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00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:25,845
-Something's
different about you.
-Yeah?
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00:00:25,938 --> 00:00:27,158
Yeah. Well, you look good.
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00:00:27,244 --> 00:00:28,854
Okay, look if I'm Jesus
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how come I can't shoot
out miracles, huh?
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00:00:30,682 --> 00:00:32,122
Like, in the Bible, he's
always shooting out miracles.
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00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:34,206
All I want is for you
to be a good person.
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00:00:34,295 --> 00:00:35,295
So, I'm not a good
person now? Really?
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A better person.
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00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:38,856
-Do you even have a job?
-I'm an entrepreneur.
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Why even ask me out
if you can't pay for it?
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Don't flatter yourself.
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I wasn't asking you out.
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Did you hear what
that paramedic said?
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If you hadn't noticed
that guy was choking
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he would've died.
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She called it a miracle.
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Wasn't a miracle,
it's a coincidence.
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00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:51,875
Your mother and I have been
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00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:54,274
waiting for 30 years
for this day.
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We are going to
change the world.
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00:00:56,665 --> 00:00:58,145
You didn't think that all this
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00:00:58,232 --> 00:00:59,492
was gonna end well for you,
did you?
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00:00:59,581 --> 00:01:01,321
[SCREAMS]
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00:01:06,327 --> 00:01:07,717
You made a blind man see.
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00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:09,980
You saved a man
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from choking to death.
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So have tons of waiters.
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Look, everybody
who hears the call
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00:01:14,987 --> 00:01:16,467
has doubts.
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Even Jesus did, at first.
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00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:19,376
Oh, yeah? Then how come you
were so sure about me, huh?
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00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:21,689
Well, I had my doubts.
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But every time I wavered,
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he always sent me a sign.
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You remember when
the snow storm
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knocked out the power?
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We were gonna starve
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until I found all that
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canned salmon in
the cold cellar.
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MARIA: Sal-mon?
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Sal-mon! Get it?
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Well, I guess if we
were Jamaican
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it might've been
a sign, Mom, but...
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Look, all I'm asking, for now,
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is that you just try to be
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a good person.
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Why don't you offer to pay
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for Gloria's breakfast?
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-I don't want to pay
for Gloria's breakfast.
-It will be nice.
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00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:54,807
I don't wanna pay for...
[SIGHS]
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Ah, we'll just take
the bill, I guess, and, uh...
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00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:03,427
I'll pay for Gloria's
breakfast too.
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Is it okay if Sal gets your
breakfast, Gloria?
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00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:05,652
What the fuck, bro?
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00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:06,954
Sal would like to buy
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00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:07,689
you breakfast.
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I'll pay for my own, thanks.
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What the hell, Gloria?
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He shat in my mailbox,
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remember?
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Okay, but he's trying
to make up for it.
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How'd you like it if
I shit in your mailbox?
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-I'd like to see
you get up there.
-You should do that, Gloria.
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You should shit
in my mailbox.
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-I'm gonna shit in
your mailbox.
-Calm down, Ma.
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Just forget her.
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The woman wears exercise
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pants in public.
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Thanks, man.
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00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:30,410
Oh, hey, what's that?
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00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:33,716
Oh, sorry, I must've charged
you for the smoked salmon.
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Excuse me,
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00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:38,034
did you just say sal-mon?
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No, I said salmon,
like a normal person.
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00:02:40,116 --> 00:02:40,806
Oh, you watch your
tone with my mother.
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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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Will you look at the way these
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00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:15,371
women are dressed?
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You'd think it was
some nightclub,
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for God's sake, instead
of the Lord's house.
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00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:19,680
Oh, Ma, you really think God
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00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:21,644
cares how women dress?
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00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:23,333
-He can probably see
right through their clothes.
-No.
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00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:24,680
You don't think God has
X-ray vision? Get serious!
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00:03:24,769 --> 00:03:26,379
Well, he probably could.
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00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:28,117
Only God is not
some gross pervert.
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Well, then he did not
create me in His image.
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Oh, is that Zia Leena.
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Gee, I'm sorry, Ma.
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I never see the woman,
'cause you don't talk
to your own sister.
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We just... Never clicked.
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00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:40,996
There's more to
it than that, Ma,
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00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:41,920
I know, c'mon tell me why.
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Sally, hi.
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Hey, Zee.
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-Maria.
-Hi.
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It is so nice to see you
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helping out with
the bake sale.
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00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,583
-Yeah, she made me.
-He's taking an interest.
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00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:55,098
Well, whatever the reason,
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the church is lucky
to have you here.
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With your charms,
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00:03:57,976 --> 00:03:59,456
we're gonna sell
out right away.
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00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:00,543
-Oh, yeah.
-[BOTH LAUGH]
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00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:03,327
Oh, such a sweet boy.
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00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:04,717
[LAUGHS]
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00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:08,118
Oh, every time! I'm...
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[SIGHS]
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Oh, no.
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[SIGHS]
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[CLICK]
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SAL: If you guys really
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believe this crap,
why don't you
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just start telling
people, huh?
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We will, just as soon
as we have enough
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momentum to carry us over
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00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:22,225
the threshold of belief.
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00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:25,455
Right, that thing
from the Bible.
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00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:27,502
No, not the Bible.
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00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:29,588
The threshold of
belief is that point
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00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:31,937
when you achieve a
critical mass of followers
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00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:33,547
that allows you to attract
even more followers.
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00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:35,197
And we do this
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00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:36,511
by performing one
good deed at a time.
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00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:40,211
Okay...
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00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:41,906
-Let me try it another way.
-[CELLPHONE ALERTS]
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00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:43,563
-Oh, Sal.
-Sorry, Ma. I just...
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00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:45,427
It's on silent. Okay, go on.
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00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:47,779
When a record company
signs an unknown band,
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00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:49,519
they don't just
release an album.
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00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:51,440
You gotta get a bit of
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00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:52,565
buzz going first.
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00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:54,176
Father Luke's in a band.
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00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:55,616
Oh, fuck right off!
What kind of band?
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00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:56,833
[CHUCKLES] Well, I don't like
to talk about it too much.
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00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:58,921
New country, I play bass.
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00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:00,320
-Oh, yeah? What do you guys
call yourselves?
-Cross to Bear.
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00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:01,063
That's a great name
for a Christian rock band.
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00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:02,623
It really is. Yeah.
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00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,320
It was my idea,
but it is... Sal...
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00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:05,707
I want to,
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00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,450
for lack of a better
term, manage you.
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00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:09,281
See, I believe,
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00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,809
that what I know about
Christian rock
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00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:12,592
can work for us too.
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00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:14,286
-Us?
-Of course.
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00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,814
We've been waiting 30
years for this moment.
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00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,287
Oh, my God. Look, I
can't be going around Sudbury
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00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,287
hanging out with
a priest all the time.
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00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,509
-I can wear jeans.
-You look ridiculous in jeans.
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00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:21,637
Oh, it's true.
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00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:23,079
[PHONE RINGING]
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FATHER LUKE:
Holy Family Church?
162
00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:28,173
VINCE: Hi. Is Sal there,
by any chance?
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00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:29,517
It's Vince.
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00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:32,216
-What?
-[SIGHS]
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00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:34,004
-Watch the...
SAL: Yeah, Vince,
what do you want?
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00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:35,309
VINCE: Since when do you not
answer your phone?
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00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:36,395
Since, I'm busy.
What do you want?
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00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,697
I'm sick.
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00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:41,399
I think I'm really sick, Sal.
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00:06:41,488 --> 00:06:42,918
SAL: Oh, calm down, you're
just having one
of your freak outs.
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00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:44,581
No, did you look
at the picture
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00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:45,265
I sent you?
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00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:47,320
[SIGHS]
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00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:50,926
Oh...
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00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:51,719
SAL: Is that your nipple?
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00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:54,022
That's my balls!
177
00:06:54,109 --> 00:06:55,849
And that's a lump
that's on my balls.
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00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:58,937
And I know I got it
from Misty at the Rub 'n' Tub!
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00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:01,157
SAL: Or maybe this is just
like the time that
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00:07:01,246 --> 00:07:02,416
you thought you had
a brain tumor from
your cell phone.
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00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,549
Or Ebola from
Sudbury African Safari.
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00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:06,991
No, because I have been
doing research, Sal.
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00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:09,734
This is either syphilis
or it's candida,
184
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,130
or it's herpes.
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00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:15,217
Or it's AIDS.
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00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:16,654
VINCE: AIDS, Sal.
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00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:18,830
Ah, whatever.
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00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:21,006
I know you don't
wear diapers but
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00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,962
it's kind of what
you look like in jeans.
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00:07:23,051 --> 00:07:24,311
SAL: Okay, so we just about
done here or what?
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00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,360
Look, Sal, all we're asking
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00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,136
for now is that
you just try to be
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00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:28,229
a good person, okay?
194
00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:30,007
Is that so hard?
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00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:32,361
This is coming from the
woman who barely
talks to her own sister.
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00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,112
I'll make you a deal.
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00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:35,722
You just start doing some
good deeds, okay?
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00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:37,853
I mean, not miracles
necessarily, but
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00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:39,275
just like a good turn
here or there.
200
00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:41,853
I'll make up with Leena.
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00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:44,199
Fine.
202
00:07:44,289 --> 00:07:46,419
But I'm doing it
on my own, okay?
203
00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:47,419
-What about cords?
-No, no.
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00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:49,210
[SIGHS]
205
00:07:52,733 --> 00:07:53,863
What do you mean, I'm banned?
206
00:07:53,951 --> 00:07:55,081
I'm sorry, sweetie.
207
00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:57,220
Some weirdo priest came in
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00:07:57,302 --> 00:07:59,002
and paid us not to
serve you anymore.
I know...
209
00:07:59,087 --> 00:08:01,437
Oh, that fucking cock!
210
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:02,094
I think it's great.
211
00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:05,085
Thanks to you and that hobo,
I'm getting evicted.
212
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:07,967
What? Why?
213
00:08:08,052 --> 00:08:09,272
Why are you getting evicted?
214
00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:11,228
Because when the
police brought me home,
215
00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:13,096
somebody on my condo board
did some digging and they
216
00:08:13,188 --> 00:08:14,538
found out where I work
and now they want me out.
217
00:08:14,624 --> 00:08:15,974
Oh, shit.
218
00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:17,931
This is too perfect.
219
00:08:18,846 --> 00:08:20,016
How is this perfect?
220
00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:21,678
Thanks to you, I have to
beg my
221
00:08:21,762 --> 00:08:23,722
stuck-up condo board
to let me stay.
222
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:25,547
Yeah, but you see,
now I get to help
you, right? So...
223
00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:26,505
[SCOFFS] Please, you
can't even help yourself!
224
00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,033
Look at you!
225
00:08:28,116 --> 00:08:29,986
You know this attitude
you got on display right now?
226
00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:31,904
This is the exact
reason why I never
227
00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:33,299
-picked you to
jerk me off, okay?
-Whatever.
228
00:08:33,382 --> 00:08:34,042
-Do you want my help or not?
-Not.
229
00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:36,465
Oh, well...
230
00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:39,211
That's too bad for you then.
231
00:08:39,301 --> 00:08:40,871
One of my good friends...
232
00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:41,825
One of my solid homies...
233
00:08:41,912 --> 00:08:43,652
He's a... He's a lawyer.
234
00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,350
And he probably for sure,
represent you for free.
235
00:08:45,437 --> 00:08:46,127
The guy owes me
like a ton of favors, so...
236
00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:48,395
But if you're good...
237
00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:51,265
-Really?
-Yeah?
238
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:52,306
But you're good though, so...
239
00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:20,393
Leena here?
240
00:09:21,517 --> 00:09:23,517
I was trying to
call her but...
241
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:24,866
I don't think she is
242
00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:26,035
taking my calls.
243
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:26,960
She went out.
244
00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:29,261
She should be home soon.
245
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,492
So, you mind if I wait?
246
00:09:34,443 --> 00:09:36,013
Yeah.
247
00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:37,007
Sure, okay.
248
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:47,540
Thanks.
249
00:09:48,718 --> 00:09:49,808
So, uh...
250
00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:52,331
What's this about?
251
00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:55,859
We need to talk.
252
00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:57,507
Me and Leena.
253
00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:00,304
Right.
254
00:10:01,862 --> 00:10:02,562
You and Leena.
255
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,960
[RING TONE]
256
00:10:15,049 --> 00:10:15,959
-CELESTE: Heavenly Hands spa,
can I help you?
-Oh, uh...
257
00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:18,748
May I speak to Misty, please?
258
00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:20,135
CELESTE: Oh, she's sick today.
259
00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:24,928
Hello?
260
00:10:26,103 --> 00:10:27,063
-[WHISPERS] Is it AIDS?
-What?
261
00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:29,981
I mean, um...
262
00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:31,944
VINCE: Do your girls
get tested regularly?
263
00:10:32,022 --> 00:10:33,552
Ah, I think you have
us mistaken for
264
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,373
a different kind of
establishment, officer.
265
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:37,680
No, no, no, no...
I'm not an officer.
266
00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:39,247
I'm not an officer. I was just
in there the other day.
267
00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:41,554
I just want to talk to Misty.
268
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:42,901
I just need to speak to her.
If you could give me
her cell phone number?
269
00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,080
I want to show her a picture.
270
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:44,985
Fuck off, Vince.
271
00:10:47,429 --> 00:10:48,169
Hello?
272
00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:52,997
It's definitely AIDS.
273
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:56,963
DARYL: So, typically new
clients have to pay
274
00:10:57,047 --> 00:10:58,007
a retainer of $1000.
275
00:10:59,006 --> 00:11:01,096
$1000?
276
00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:03,272
Unless you can get on
the public defender's
list, like Sal did.
277
00:11:03,358 --> 00:11:04,708
You told me you guys
were best friends.
278
00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:06,194
Well, it's just like
a formality...
279
00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:07,364
Well, yeah, if you define
best friend is
280
00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:09,359
someone who steals your
girlfriend, then, yeah.
281
00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:10,711
So, you were still
mad about that.
282
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,190
Then, why do you think
I got you to plead not guilty?
283
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,720
-Oh, my God. You lied to me!
-You fuckin' banana.
284
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,723
Well, that's really
not a surprise.
285
00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:17,715
Sal once gave my girlfriend,
and by extension me,
286
00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:19,067
chlamydia and had
her convinced that
287
00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:19,976
it was just an
allergic reaction
288
00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:21,380
to my balls.
289
00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:23,733
Classic.
290
00:11:23,813 --> 00:11:25,643
Yeah, but I'm not fucking
like that anymore, okay?
291
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:26,468
I swear, I'm not
like that anymore.
292
00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:28,035
That was a long time ago.
293
00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:29,342
Anyway, Nicole as I was saying
294
00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:30,727
my retainer is for
295
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:31,910
typical new clients.
296
00:11:31,995 --> 00:11:34,295
-But...
-But I don't...
297
00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:35,219
See anything
typical about you.
298
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,700
So, you'll waive the retainer?
299
00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:42,137
As long as you promise
not to tell anybody.
300
00:11:42,223 --> 00:11:43,793
[NICOLE CHUCKLES]
301
00:11:43,877 --> 00:11:44,917
-It'll be our little secret.
-What's going on here?
302
00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:46,788
[LAUGHS]
303
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,140
And you know, unlike Sal,
I'm not going to lie to you.
304
00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:49,880
And I didn't peak
in high school.
305
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:50,930
-What?
-Right?
306
00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:52,544
Yeah, exactly.
307
00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:54,374
So, most leases have
a code of conduct
308
00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:55,452
that allows them to evict
you in the advent of any
309
00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:57,980
unsavory behavior.
310
00:11:58,065 --> 00:11:58,585
-I haven't checked
the case law...
-But...
311
00:11:58,674 --> 00:12:00,984
Isn't there some
312
00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:02,808
sort of argument about the
313
00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:04,416
fundamental human
right to earn a living?
314
00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:07,196
-Like I'm not hurting anybody.
-Yeah.
315
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:08,031
-I think it's a very
smart argument...
-As they say...
316
00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:10,028
Unfortunately, it's just
317
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,430
not enough because
it all boils down to
318
00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:13,123
the legality of...
319
00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:14,430
And the fact that you've got
this really shitty lawyer.
320
00:12:14,516 --> 00:12:16,646
Okay, well, if you think
you can solve
321
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:17,556
your friend's
problems, then...
322
00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:19,089
-No, no, no...
-[ALL ARGUING]
323
00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:21,183
[ALL ARGUING]
324
00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:22,872
You know what...
325
00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:24,529
It looks like Sal
is on the case.
326
00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:25,093
No, really that's
fine by me...
327
00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:27,789
[ALL ARGUING]
328
00:12:27,877 --> 00:12:29,307
Hey, Sal, I've been
meaning to ask you,
329
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,010
that secretary that
you ended up
330
00:12:31,098 --> 00:12:33,538
fucking over the PA
system in high school,
331
00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:34,582
was that the guidance
counselor's wife?
332
00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:38,584
Good luck.
333
00:12:43,588 --> 00:12:45,768
-They were engaged.
-I don't...
334
00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:46,422
But they'd been
engaged for years!
It was never gonna happen.
335
00:12:46,504 --> 00:12:48,384
Stop fuckin' following me.
336
00:12:48,463 --> 00:12:49,463
Why... Don't you want my help?
337
00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:51,601
No, no.
338
00:12:51,683 --> 00:12:52,603
-I'm fuckin' better
off on my own.
-Are you kidding me?
339
00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:54,344
Look, I made a promise, okay?
340
00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:55,595
To my mother that I would
help people in need.
341
00:12:55,687 --> 00:12:56,857
My poor, sick
342
00:12:56,950 --> 00:12:58,820
fuckin' dying...
343
00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:00,478
Okay, she's not dying.
But, look, I did tell her
344
00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:02,002
that I would try and be
a better person, okay?
345
00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:02,995
So, that's what
I'm trying to do.
346
00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:06,438
Thank goodness, she
fuckin' spoiled your ass,
347
00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:07,404
-you know that, right?
-What?
348
00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:11,139
Spoiled my ass, huh?
349
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,400
-What do you know? Fuck.
-I know, because
I've been there.
350
00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:17,881
All this confidence
with nothing to back it up.
[LAUGHS]
351
00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:18,891
Oh, really?
352
00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:20,712
Nothing, huh?
353
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,800
My family spoiled me too.
354
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:25,626
But it came at a price.
355
00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:26,757
So, eventually,
I just said, fuck it, and...
356
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,638
I went off and did
my own thing.
357
00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:32,382
Hence the handies
for a living. Respect.
358
00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:33,733
Fuck them.
359
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:34,813
No, you fuckin' asshole...
360
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:38,687
I wanted to be a painter.
361
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:44,737
-Anyway, that's my lame story.
-Hey, where you going?
362
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,044
Don't do that to yourself.
363
00:13:46,129 --> 00:13:47,569
Don't say that...
You got a lame story.
364
00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:49,962
Look, all the girls at
the parlor got a story.
365
00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,606
Paige is three credits
shy of her bachelor's,
366
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:53,350
Krista is a hell of a golfer.
367
00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:55,101
Valerie's been taking care of
her quadriplegic father
368
00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:57,532
by herself since
she was, like 17.
369
00:13:57,619 --> 00:13:58,099
Fuck, we all gotta
make a living.
370
00:13:59,447 --> 00:14:00,397
It's life.
371
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,020
So, is this why
all the girls at
372
00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:05,705
the massage parlor
love you so much?
373
00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:07,802
Because you listen to them?
374
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:10,329
I don't know.
375
00:14:10,414 --> 00:14:12,294
I like people.
376
00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:13,463
You can be yanking by lever,
you're still a person.
377
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:20,563
-God damn right there.
-God damn right there.
378
00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:28,822
Get in.
379
00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:31,258
Get in?
380
00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:31,698
-Get in!
-[EXCLAIMS]
381
00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:44,064
You know, I think
this was a mistake.
382
00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:45,154
I'm just gonna go.
383
00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:46,972
Just...
384
00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:48,060
Tell Leena that
I was here, okay?
385
00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:53,678
You know, you two
aren't the only ones
with unfinished business.
386
00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:55,332
What the hell is that
supposed to mean?
387
00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:56,456
Still claiming you were
a pregnant virgin?
388
00:14:58,854 --> 00:14:59,814
I never cheated on you, Joe.
389
00:15:02,031 --> 00:15:03,251
For Pete's sake, Joe,
390
00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:05,428
I'm still a virgin.
391
00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:08,427
Jesus, Maria!
392
00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:10,819
You're pathological.
393
00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:15,215
-I still wear my purity ring.
-So what?
394
00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:17,045
Just 'cause I have
a wedding ring doesn't
mean I'm faithful.
395
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:18,093
-It doesn't?
-Not me. I'm just
saying a ring
396
00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:19,218
doesn't mean anything.
397
00:15:19,309 --> 00:15:19,879
Well, it does to me.
398
00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:22,307
C'mon, you still expect
399
00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:23,179
me to believe this?
400
00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:26,453
No, you know, you're right.
401
00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:29,541
After 30 years,
402
00:15:29,624 --> 00:15:30,804
why should I expect you
to believe anything?
403
00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:38,719
I've rented an apartment here
404
00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:40,157
for five years,
405
00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:41,163
and how many complaints
have I had?
406
00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:43,073
Zero.
407
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:44,549
I always pay my rent on time,
408
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:46,289
I even pick up other people's
409
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:47,250
dog shit on the front path.
410
00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:49,561
But the morality clause
411
00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:51,304
in the lease is quite clear.
412
00:15:51,385 --> 00:15:53,125
And those rules are
413
00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:55,613
old-fashioned, sexist,
and oppressive.
414
00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:57,223
And she wasn't even
on premises
415
00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:58,834
when she was doing
the immoral stuff.
416
00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:00,574
I mean, I'm sure she has
done some dirty stuff
417
00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:01,475
in her apartment before
but that doesn't count,
418
00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:03,879
right?
419
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:04,923
-What?
-Shut up.
420
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,489
[SIGHS] Sex work
421
00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:10,266
doesn't have to be shameful.
422
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,450
It can be profitable
for the workers,
423
00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:14,406
-fulfilling for the clients...
-Well, I'll vouch for that.
424
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:15,495
I'm afraid, that's
only one opinion.
425
00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:18,796
And I'm afraid that's
a narrow view on
426
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,370
what's appropriate for women,
427
00:16:20,457 --> 00:16:22,157
otherwise known as bigotry.
428
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:24,112
-Boom!
-Do you even live here?
429
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,640
Are you a fucking
bigot or what!
430
00:16:25,723 --> 00:16:27,203
Look at this guy, come
at me with bigotry too!
431
00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:28,680
I'm not a bigot.
432
00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:30,690
You expect us to
believe sex work
433
00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:32,472
can be good for
our communities?
434
00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:33,636
[MOCK LAUGHS] Yeah.
435
00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:36,078
Think of all the women
436
00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:37,689
who don't have the
time or the skill set
437
00:16:37,779 --> 00:16:39,299
to get a traditional job.
438
00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:40,479
Sex work can
better their lives
439
00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:41,704
and the lives of
their families.
440
00:16:41,783 --> 00:16:43,223
College students,
441
00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:44,916
single mothers,
442
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,354
you know, who don't
have degrees.
443
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:47,620
Like Sal's mother,
for example.
444
00:16:47,702 --> 00:16:48,662
No fuckin' way! What?
445
00:16:48,746 --> 00:16:50,616
It's just an example.
446
00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:52,315
No, I don't like that example.
Stricken from
the record, please.
447
00:16:52,402 --> 00:16:54,272
So you wouldn't be comfortable
448
00:16:54,361 --> 00:16:55,361
if your mother masturbated
449
00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:56,579
off men for a living?
450
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:57,407
Fuck no, Gerald. Would you?
451
00:16:58,669 --> 00:17:00,369
Mic drop.
452
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:02,154
You better shut
the fuck up now.
453
00:17:02,238 --> 00:17:03,408
I'm tired of this
bigotry, Gerald.
454
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:04,890
I'm tired of you eating
the free snacks.
455
00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,030
What'd you say about
the fucking snacks?
456
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,682
Just go...
Go, go, go.
457
00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:08,805
Well, you're a fucking snack.
458
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:13,123
All you had to do was
nod your head like
459
00:17:13,206 --> 00:17:14,246
a dashboard dummy
and keep your
460
00:17:14,337 --> 00:17:15,947
fat mouth shut.
461
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,075
Yeah, then you went
off about my mother.
462
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:18,426
What was I supposed
to do, huh?
463
00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:20,255
Oh, right, your
saint of a mother.
464
00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:21,913
Watch it now, okay?
465
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:22,867
You should've seen
her before...
466
00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,174
She's a co-dependent enabler.
467
00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:26,221
-And you two have
a fucked-up relationship.
-Holy shit!
468
00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:27,736
I'm sorry but somebody
needs to tell you, okay?
469
00:17:31,441 --> 00:17:32,661
Holy fuck! Wait,
the fuck, hold on!
470
00:17:37,926 --> 00:17:39,226
FATHER LUKE: Sal,
what you're asking for
471
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:41,189
is against all the
teachings of the Church.
472
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:42,537
Look, it's not like I'm
asking you to support
473
00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:44,016
gay marriage or something.
474
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,146
FATHER LUKE:
Sal, I'm a priest.
475
00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:47,108
I can't just go meddling
in people's affairs.
476
00:17:47,196 --> 00:17:48,976
Oh, no? Then why'd you
go to the rub 'n' tug
477
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,498
and tell them not to
serve me anymore, huh?
478
00:17:50,591 --> 00:17:52,721
WOMAN: Bless me father,
for I have sinned.
479
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,380
-Shit.
-Yeah, bullshit is
more like it.
480
00:17:54,464 --> 00:17:56,954
Um, confess your
sins, my child.
481
00:17:57,032 --> 00:17:58,472
Look.
You think it's a coincidence
482
00:17:58,555 --> 00:17:59,555
that the same people
I'm trying to fuck over
483
00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:01,173
are in your shitty band?
484
00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:02,824
You've never even
heard us play!
485
00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:03,907
WOMAN: I called my
husband a dick.
486
00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:05,205
Go on.
487
00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:06,911
You know how Ma's always
488
00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:08,038
going on about signs,
and stuff like that,
489
00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:10,220
and how half of them
are nuts, but
490
00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:11,566
there is such a thing
as signs, right?
491
00:18:11,655 --> 00:18:12,735
Of course.
492
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:14,310
Like the fact that
493
00:18:14,397 --> 00:18:15,267
your band members are on my
494
00:18:15,355 --> 00:18:16,875
friend's condo board.
495
00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:18,005
SAL: My friend
I'm trying to help.
496
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,267
-Holy balls.
-SAL: Yeah.
497
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,840
-WOMAN: Pardon?
-Oh, uh, nothing.
498
00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:24,097
FATHER LUKE: There's
no denying that's a sign.
499
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:26,760
A very big sign.
500
00:18:26,844 --> 00:18:28,284
WOMAN: Who are you
talking to there?
501
00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:30,888
FATHER LUKE:
God! I won't be a minute.
502
00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:32,499
Sal, if I'm going to
break the sacrament of
confession for you,
503
00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:33,809
I want in.
504
00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,545
Fine.
505
00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:37,376
I want to be your
spiritual advisor.
506
00:18:37,464 --> 00:18:39,164
-That means you have
to listen to me.
-Okay.
507
00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:41,078
-Really listen to me.
-Okay.
508
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:41,863
And trust me.
509
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,340
So you're worried you
contracted an
510
00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:48,259
STD from an erotic massage?
511
00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:49,874
Yes, so if I
512
00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:51,654
could get a bunch of meds...
513
00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:53,439
I can't prescribe medication
514
00:18:53,523 --> 00:18:54,613
unless it's medically
necessary.
515
00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:56,960
I'm worried that
I might have...
516
00:18:58,528 --> 00:18:59,358
[WHISPERS] AIDS.
517
00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:00,748
What?
518
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:02,750
AIDS.
519
00:19:03,272 --> 00:19:04,012
AIDS?
520
00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:08,062
I'm sure it's not but
521
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:08,887
we'll order some
tests to rule it out.
522
00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:11,154
How long will that take?
523
00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:12,457
Two weeks.
524
00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:14,202
What do I do until then?
525
00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:15,853
Relax, go for a massage.
526
00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:20,423
Are you joking?
527
00:19:21,812 --> 00:19:22,552
Hello?
528
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:32,174
Oh, Maria, I need
to speak to you.
529
00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:32,868
Come here.
530
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:38,180
I've got some amazing news.
531
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:40,001
Sal came to me for help.
532
00:19:41,354 --> 00:19:42,014
On purpose?
533
00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:44,007
Yes!
534
00:19:44,095 --> 00:19:45,705
Get this, he wants to do good.
535
00:19:46,576 --> 00:19:49,096
I know, it's wonderful.
536
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,538
Now, I had to bend the rules
a little bit, but I...
537
00:19:50,624 --> 00:19:52,934
-Maria?
-Leena!
538
00:19:53,017 --> 00:19:53,667
-Hi, Father Luke.
-[CHUCKLES]
539
00:19:54,932 --> 00:19:56,152
It's nice to see you.
540
00:20:00,503 --> 00:20:02,113
You come by my
house when I'm not
541
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,511
home and you
hit on my husband?
542
00:20:03,593 --> 00:20:04,993
What?
543
00:20:05,073 --> 00:20:07,163
No, I was looking for you.
544
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:07,729
[SCOFFS]
For what?
545
00:20:08,685 --> 00:20:09,555
I wanted to talk to you.
546
00:20:11,427 --> 00:20:13,557
I wanted... To
make up with you.
547
00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:14,737
Oh, by hitting on my husband?
548
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,905
Could we not do this here?
549
00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:19,169
This is our father's
memorial mass.
550
00:20:20,915 --> 00:20:22,475
Just stay away from Joe.
551
00:20:22,569 --> 00:20:24,269
Leena.
552
00:20:24,353 --> 00:20:25,753
Joe is not interested
in me anymore.
553
00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:29,099
It's not Joe I'm
worried about.
554
00:20:35,582 --> 00:20:36,582
It's okay.
555
00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:38,280
[BOTH ARGUING]
556
00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:39,187
What's happening here?
557
00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:46,719
I'm here to fuckin'
tell you, that your shit,
558
00:20:47,724 --> 00:20:49,554
it stinks like shit.
559
00:20:49,639 --> 00:20:50,469
-What?
-What?
560
00:20:51,641 --> 00:20:53,601
Gerald, did you tell your wife
561
00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:55,297
that it was over with Donna
in the secretarial pool?
562
00:20:55,384 --> 00:20:56,524
[SCOFFS] It is over.
563
00:20:56,603 --> 00:20:58,003
Yeah? Then why were
you pounding
564
00:20:58,082 --> 00:20:59,782
her in the photocopy
room last week?
565
00:20:59,867 --> 00:21:02,347
-Pounding's a strong word.
-Your word.
566
00:21:02,435 --> 00:21:03,865
And, Jim, you know
what time it is?
567
00:21:03,958 --> 00:21:05,128
It's time to tell your kids
568
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:06,400
there's no inheritance left,
569
00:21:06,482 --> 00:21:08,182
you degenerate
fuckin' gambler.
570
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,267
Throwing spoons
at prostitutes, bro?
571
00:21:10,181 --> 00:21:11,751
What the fuck?
572
00:21:11,835 --> 00:21:13,655
And, Abigail?
573
00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:15,930
My God! Dear sweet Abigail!
574
00:21:16,013 --> 00:21:16,753
You kiss your mother
with that mouth?
575
00:21:17,885 --> 00:21:19,405
No, she actually does people.
576
00:21:19,495 --> 00:21:21,405
She kisses her mother
with that mouth.
577
00:21:21,497 --> 00:21:22,847
Live online.
Three nights a week.
578
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,023
As we are gathered here,
579
00:21:26,110 --> 00:21:27,720
I invite you all
580
00:21:27,808 --> 00:21:29,378
to imagine that you're holding
581
00:21:29,462 --> 00:21:30,682
a stone of judgment.
582
00:21:31,986 --> 00:21:33,636
Then I want you
to ask yourself
583
00:21:33,727 --> 00:21:35,117
why am I carrying this stone?
584
00:21:37,513 --> 00:21:39,563
Now, we all know the parable
585
00:21:39,646 --> 00:21:41,166
of the adulteress
586
00:21:41,256 --> 00:21:42,816
surrounded by the mob of
587
00:21:42,910 --> 00:21:44,560
enraged men,
588
00:21:45,608 --> 00:21:46,828
each with a
589
00:21:46,914 --> 00:21:47,744
stone at the ready.
590
00:21:49,699 --> 00:21:52,269
Now, Jesus, he understood
591
00:21:52,354 --> 00:21:53,794
that we all carry
judgment in our hearts.
592
00:21:54,835 --> 00:21:55,655
Each one of us.
593
00:21:57,011 --> 00:21:58,011
So he challenged the men.
594
00:21:59,274 --> 00:22:00,934
He said,
595
00:22:01,015 --> 00:22:02,275
"Let he who is without sin
596
00:22:03,060 --> 00:22:05,190
"cast the first stone."
597
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:06,630
All I'm saying,
598
00:22:06,716 --> 00:22:07,976
is you people have some
599
00:22:08,065 --> 00:22:09,675
fucking set of balls on you
600
00:22:09,763 --> 00:22:11,073
to judge this beautiful lady
601
00:22:11,155 --> 00:22:12,805
with how she makes a living,
602
00:22:12,896 --> 00:22:14,416
when your lives are
a goddamn moral disgrace?
603
00:22:14,507 --> 00:22:15,987
-Now, hang on...
-Hang on, Gerald,
604
00:22:16,073 --> 00:22:17,953
you are the most fucked
up man in this room.
You better watch it.
605
00:22:18,032 --> 00:22:19,252
You and I both know this.
606
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,638
You see it in my
eyes that I know shit.
607
00:22:20,730 --> 00:22:22,120
Sal? Sal!
608
00:22:22,210 --> 00:22:23,210
-Vince?
-Oh, my God, Nicole!
609
00:22:23,298 --> 00:22:24,428
Oh, my God.
610
00:22:24,517 --> 00:22:26,297
-Did Misty give me AIDS?
-What?
611
00:22:26,388 --> 00:22:28,518
When she rub 'n tugged me,
did she put AIDS inside of me?
612
00:22:28,608 --> 00:22:29,648
You're the second most
fucked up guy now, Gerald.
613
00:22:29,739 --> 00:22:30,699
-My apologies.
-I gotta know.
614
00:22:31,654 --> 00:22:33,534
And one by one, the men
615
00:22:33,613 --> 00:22:35,533
dropped their stones and they
616
00:22:35,615 --> 00:22:37,085
walked away, because they had
617
00:22:37,181 --> 00:22:38,661
learned a valuable
618
00:22:38,748 --> 00:22:40,578
lesson that day.
619
00:22:42,448 --> 00:22:43,098
[CLEARS THROAT]
620
00:22:46,321 --> 00:22:47,371
You know what?
I think, I'm just going to
621
00:22:47,453 --> 00:22:49,113
cut to the chase.
I'm gonna talk about the
622
00:22:49,193 --> 00:22:51,073
parable, about turning
the other cheek.
623
00:22:51,152 --> 00:22:52,942
Because that is a very
valuable lesson
624
00:22:53,023 --> 00:22:54,243
that we could all put
to practice, every day.
625
00:22:57,941 --> 00:22:59,421
You know what I'm like.
I get a thing in my mind,
626
00:22:59,508 --> 00:23:02,118
and it's just like...
[EXCLAIMS]
627
00:23:02,206 --> 00:23:03,686
I can't... I don't even
know what AIDS feels like.
628
00:23:03,773 --> 00:23:05,823
It's itching and burning.
629
00:23:05,906 --> 00:23:07,206
Shut the fuck up, Vince.
I know, what you're like.
630
00:23:07,298 --> 00:23:09,168
Okay?
631
00:23:09,257 --> 00:23:10,737
How long have I known you?
Our whole fucking lives.
632
00:23:10,824 --> 00:23:11,304
-I know what you're like.
-All right.
633
00:23:13,609 --> 00:23:14,829
Which...
634
00:23:17,178 --> 00:23:17,918
Is why I should've
been there for you.
635
00:23:19,615 --> 00:23:21,005
I'm sorry that I wasn't
there for you today.
636
00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:23,271
Misty doesn't have AIDS.
637
00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:28,064
-Really?
-Misty doesn't have AIDS.
638
00:23:28,145 --> 00:23:30,405
I told you, buddy.
I told you, buddy.
You're gonna be fine.
639
00:23:30,496 --> 00:23:31,926
-[SIGHS]
-You're gonna be fine.
640
00:23:32,019 --> 00:23:33,409
-Oh, my God.
-Yeah.
641
00:23:33,499 --> 00:23:35,369
You wanna go celebrate?
You get a burger?
642
00:23:35,457 --> 00:23:36,367
No, no, um...
643
00:23:38,112 --> 00:23:38,772
I'm gonna stick around
here for a little bit.
644
00:23:39,983 --> 00:23:41,813
See how that plays out.
645
00:23:41,898 --> 00:23:44,118
-That? Yeah?
-Yeah. Yeah.
646
00:23:44,205 --> 00:23:45,985
-You want me to stay?
-No, you should take off.
647
00:23:46,076 --> 00:23:47,336
-Okay.
-Just take off, yeah?
648
00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:47,986
Thank you.
649
00:23:54,041 --> 00:23:56,261
So, your...
650
00:23:56,347 --> 00:23:58,307
Your buddy's got, like, some
problems right?
651
00:23:58,393 --> 00:23:59,313
Vince doesn't have problems.
652
00:24:00,308 --> 00:24:02,088
No, he's insane.
653
00:24:02,179 --> 00:24:04,439
Like, we've been worried
about him for years...
654
00:24:04,530 --> 00:24:05,880
Just, you know, it's
expensive to get
655
00:24:08,055 --> 00:24:08,925
-treatment and care.
-Mmm-hmm.
656
00:24:14,583 --> 00:24:15,153
Look, um...
657
00:24:17,804 --> 00:24:18,464
I feel like...
658
00:24:19,849 --> 00:24:21,239
I just wanna tell you why
659
00:24:21,329 --> 00:24:22,939
I never picked you
at the rub 'n tug.
660
00:24:23,026 --> 00:24:24,896
Sal, it's okay.
A lot of guys don't pick me.
661
00:24:24,985 --> 00:24:27,635
Yeah, I know, but it's
not like I didn't want you
662
00:24:31,382 --> 00:24:33,692
-to do a masturbate on me.
-[CHUCKLES]
663
00:24:33,776 --> 00:24:35,166
I just hoped that...
664
00:24:37,476 --> 00:24:40,386
That when you did it,
it'd be for free.
665
00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:41,779
-For free?
-Not a fuckin' freebie
or nothing but...
666
00:24:44,308 --> 00:24:45,348
Like, I don't know.
Maybe it would be...
667
00:24:47,050 --> 00:24:49,360
After a date.
668
00:24:49,444 --> 00:24:50,314
Or during a date
if it's going well.
669
00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:56,322
'Cause I wanna fuck your tits
but I want you to want me
to fuck your tits, you know?
670
00:25:00,281 --> 00:25:02,241
I just... I want you to be
the girl who sits on my face
671
00:25:02,326 --> 00:25:03,456
but I want it to mean
something to both of us.
672
00:25:04,938 --> 00:25:05,678
That's all.
673
00:25:07,767 --> 00:25:10,857
So, good news, you can stay.
674
00:25:10,944 --> 00:25:12,904
-Holy shit, look at that.
-Oh, my goodness.
675
00:25:12,989 --> 00:25:14,509
[BOTH CHEER]
676
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,860
[LAUGHS]
677
00:25:16,950 --> 00:25:18,780
-It's a miracle.
-Bad news,
my wife's leaving me.
678
00:25:21,041 --> 00:25:22,301
Marriages, man.
679
00:25:22,390 --> 00:25:24,000
-Sucks.
-Yeah.
680
00:25:24,087 --> 00:25:25,957
Let's go out,
we're gonna go celebrate.
681
00:25:26,046 --> 00:25:28,606
What do you wanna do?
We're gonna go to Wacky Wings
and go to SRO?
682
00:25:28,701 --> 00:25:30,831
Or you wanna say, fuck it.
Just go Coulson's right away,
hit the half ribs.
683
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,880
What do you wanna do?
Anything.
684
00:25:35,925 --> 00:25:36,875
Daryl asked me out.
685
00:25:40,713 --> 00:25:41,763
What'd you say?
686
00:25:42,802 --> 00:25:43,982
When he asked you out.
687
00:25:45,892 --> 00:25:47,202
I need stability in my life.
688
00:25:49,069 --> 00:25:50,239
Somebody who
knows what they want.
689
00:25:53,203 --> 00:25:54,293
And what, Daryl's that guy?
690
00:25:57,294 --> 00:25:58,304
I think I wanna find out.
691
00:26:03,692 --> 00:26:08,352
What about... I don't know.
What about us? I mean...
692
00:26:08,436 --> 00:26:10,606
I just thought that
we could have had
something going, you know.
693
00:26:10,699 --> 00:26:12,049
Something kinda special.
694
00:26:13,659 --> 00:26:14,439
Come on.
695
00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:20,538
Bye, Sal.
696
00:26:22,493 --> 00:26:23,843
Thank you for everything.
697
00:27:01,924 --> 00:27:03,064
Fuck that shit.
698
00:27:18,114 --> 00:27:19,514
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
699
00:27:28,429 --> 00:27:29,519
How's it goin', Ma?
700
00:27:33,869 --> 00:27:35,219
[SIGHS]
701
00:27:35,305 --> 00:27:36,655
Tell me everything.
702
00:27:40,267 --> 00:27:42,967
Well, I did do
some good today.
703
00:27:44,793 --> 00:27:46,013
Didn't quite work out
the way I hoped, but...
704
00:27:48,536 --> 00:27:49,486
Rarely does.
705
00:27:51,931 --> 00:27:52,931
How'd it go with
you and Zia Leena?
706
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:56,280
[SCOFFS] Not great.
707
00:27:59,547 --> 00:28:00,847
What happened with you two,
anyway, huh?
708
00:28:05,509 --> 00:28:07,469
We fought over
a boy once and...
709
00:28:09,383 --> 00:28:11,343
We just never recovered.
710
00:28:13,866 --> 00:28:18,696
How come you never,
like, I don't know...
711
00:28:18,784 --> 00:28:19,654
Did the whole
dating thing or...
712
00:28:23,049 --> 00:28:24,619
It's hard to find
anybody worth it.
713
00:28:26,705 --> 00:28:27,435
Yeah.
714
00:28:29,011 --> 00:28:30,321
Plus I had you.
715
00:28:34,016 --> 00:28:36,316
-You want me to make you
something to eat?
-No, I'm not hungry, Ma.
716
00:28:43,809 --> 00:28:47,069
You think it's true that
everyone's got one person
they're meant to be with?
717
00:28:49,945 --> 00:28:50,545
I hope not.
718
00:28:52,992 --> 00:28:55,432
It'd be a pretty cruel world
if that were true.
719
00:28:58,171 --> 00:29:01,001
Anyway, at least,
we always have each other.
720
00:29:02,001 --> 00:29:02,701
Hmm?
721
00:29:04,351 --> 00:29:05,351
Yeah, Ma, yeah, we do.
50376
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