Original subtitles

Mom!

Mom!

Mom!

We should go home now. I think it's dinnertime.

Let's get you something to eat. What should we make?

Uh... Pizza!

No, not pizza again.

She's not coming?

Well, she really wants to, sweetheart.

Turns out she has a conflict.

It so happens that your party is on the same exact day as Disney On Ice.

But if Chloe doesn't come, is everybody else coming?

Almost everybody.

Um, there are a few others who are going to the other thing.

How many?

I'm not exactly sure.

How many about?

I think six.

Honey, but everybody else in the whole class is coming.

It's going to be an incredible party. Come here. Come.

Hey...

It's a beautiful weekend.

Look, they're setting up games.

There's going to be a bouncy, a magician, princesses,

Spider-Man for the boys. It's going to be the best birthday party ever.

Of course it's going to be the best birthday party ever!

Get over here, you little punk! Huh?

Do me a favor. Get your swimsuit on, all right?

I'll meet you in the pool. Five minutes.

Ready? Go, go, go! Four minutes! Three minutes!

- What's going on? - Six kids aren't coming tomorrow. Six.

It was a mistake to not invite Ziggy Chapman.

Yeah, I kind of felt bad about accepting those tickets.

But they're so expensive, and plus Lily didn't know Amabella from a tree trunk.

Honey, he tried to choke her.

She's afraid of him. How can we possibly invite him?

Yeah, but with Chloe Mackenzie not coming and...

That fucking Madeline!

Honey, it's gonna be a spectacular party.

Amabella is going to have the time of her life.

I want to kill her.

Hey, are we going to some kid's birthday party tomorrow?

Oh.

I ran into Reed Whittaker today, and he seemed to think we were.

For about 10 seconds, but then Madeline got tickets to Disney On Ice.

Truly.

The kids are excited, actually.

Okay.

And, what, I'm not invited to this Disney thing?

Come on. You don't want to go to that. You hate those things.

You don't think I wanna spend some time with my family after being gone all week?

Well, why didn't we discuss this?

- No, let's not... - No, why didn't we discuss it?

Well, it just...

It wasn't like that. I don't know.

Madeline got the tickets and...

And there were only so many.

So it's a money thing. We couldn't afford a ticket.

No, it's not that. It's... Take my ticket.

- That's not the point. - What is the point?

The point is that one second,

they're going to some kid's birthday party that I didn't know about.

The next, you've decided to take them to a show.

- Come on, Perry. - What, am I not a member of this family?

Sometimes I have to make decisions when you're...

You don't think it'd be nice for Josh and Max

to spend a little time with their dad who's been gone all week?

All right. It...

- Do you think I want to be away all the time? - No.

- Do you think I enjoy missing our family? - No.

Look at me, then. Look at me.

Come on.

Huh?

No, you're hurting me.

- Oh, I'm hurting you. - Mmm-hmm.

Can we talk about how much you hurt me?

Do you deliberately plan these things to avoid having to be with me?

Take your hand off me.

You could've bought another ticket.

I will leave you.

You touch me like that again, and I will fucking leave you!

The injuries were many.

And they were severe. We are talking multiple broken bones.

Indians?

Native Americans, honey. Lots of people have Native-American ancestors.

It looks like an Indian.

Your father will explain.

It's not fair. Joey's ancestor is Christopher Columbus.

Mmm. He killed lots of Indians.

- That's not helpful. - It's actually true.

Ed.

I don't want to do a family tree.

Well, you have to, honey. It's the assignment.

You wanna do well in school, right, Chloe?

Listen to your sister.

If you don't excel in first grade, you won't get into private school.

And then you can forget about Stanford. And then what's the point?

Don't listen to your sister.

How much longer are we gonna beat this dead horse?

- I was just kidding. - Wait. Who beats horses?

- Nobody, honey.

- Hello? - May I speak to Madeline, please?

Yeah, one sec.

Renata Klein.

Really?

- Hello? - Madeline, it's Renata.

Mmm-hmm, what's up?

Well, had a little bit of a long night of the soul last night.

And, uh... Well, I think you were right.

I see.

It was wrong of me to exclude Ziggy Chapman from the party.

She wants to invite Ziggy.

Itjust was, and, uh, well, I'd like to invite him after all.

And, of course, have Chloe there.

It would be so great. Amabella is so fond of her, as you know.

Um, would you happen to have Jane's number?

I really wanna give her a call.

Oh, you are so sweet,

but tomorrow, there's a bunch of us that are all driving to San Jose for Disney On Ice.

Oh, uh...

Well, I just... I thought...

Well, maybe we can swing by afterwards. How late will the party be going until?

3:00.

No, we won't be back by then.

But there's got to be something we can do, right?

If only there was.

Sorry, were. Subjective tense 'cause it's contrary to fact.

Okay, how about this?

Chloe and the others come to the party, big smiles on their faces.

Right? And after, I arrange

a great sleepover weekend trip to Disneyland,

all-expense paid, VIP passes, the works. Backstage passes to Frozen.

Yeah, it's not going to work.

I'll even get Snow White to sit on your husband's face.

Maybe Dumbo can take a squat on yours.

You are so sweet.

I'd rather go to the party than the stupid show.

You're dead in this town, as is your fucking puppet show.

Oh, thank you so much for calling, Renata. I really appreciate it.

- All good? - Yep!

We are gonna have a great time today.

Look, guys. Harry the Hippo is flying.

If I were you, I'd be gentle with his legs.

Can we see him? Thank you.

- You good? - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm good.

Thank you for arranging the transportation.

Now here you go again You say you want your freedom

Well, who am I to keep you down?

- Be careful with his leg. - Ziggy, throw me Harry.

It's only right that you should play the way you feel it

But listen carefully to the sound

Of the loneliness

Like a heartbeat drives you mad

You sure you're okay? You're a little quiet.

Madeline was desperate for the trip to be better than the party.

Thunder only happens when it's raining

Cheers, everybody! Frozen!

It was pathetic.

Gordon Klein was kind of a fuckup.

Rich, powerful, but DNA... Huge fuckup.

Hey, sexy.

Have you been smoking?

It was a fantastic party.

With the exception of Bonnie's dancing.

She was hot!

A lot of the dads were staring.

I saw erections.

What are you doing?

Working on this website for a new drone company.

It's incredible, the technology.

Aren't those things, like, illegal now?

Not yet. Probably only a matter of time, though.

What happened with you and my father?

He said you threatened him.

I didn't threaten him. If anything, he was aggressive.

He demanded I make your mother be nice to Bonnie,

which I found to be ridiculous, truth be told.

What part was ridiculous?

The idea that my mom should be nice to Bonnie or that my father should care?

Okay. Guess we know where you stand.

What's wrong with Mom?

Nothing. Why?

She doesn't seem a bit agitated to you lately?

Honey, agitation is her preferred state.

Yeah, well, it's not mine if that matters.

Cake, cake, cake!

Cake, cake, cake!

Cake, cake, cake!

We want cake! We want cake.

Take that off her.

The little... That fake one?

And put the cake one on top.

Yeah!

Do you like that?

It's fun!

Make a wish. Make a wish.

- Happy birthday! Hope you had fun! - Thank you! Bye.

- Thank you so much. - See you later. Bye.

- What a beautiful party. - Thank you.

Thank you so...

Oh, we got two!

The Frozen gift bags were a deft touch.

So good.

How fun was that?

- I'm exhausted. - Oh, my God.

I'm gonna go right to bed.

Thanks again for the guitar.

Ziggy play guitar, right?

- Training. - Mom, you have Harry, right?

Harry? The Hippo?

Harry the Hippo had been with the school for over 10 years.

He's going to get blamed again.

Why does fucking shit keep happening to me?

- Yeah. Kind of. - That looks cute.

- Abigail. - Send that to me.

Hey.

- How's things? - Uh, pretty good.

Yeah? Can I talk to you in private for a second?

- What did I do? - Nothing, honey.

Why don't we just go to my office? Shall we?

Maybe it would help us get along

There was a fine, upstanding black man.

Can I talk to you?

Jesus Christ.

But, Mary, Jesus was white.

No, Jesus was black.

- No, Jesus was white. - No... Guys!

Jesus was Jewish.

I could make up the money. I know a few more people that I could call,

or we could work for free for a while just to make a point, and that would...

Madeline, I'm gonna tell you what the Mayor pretty much told me.

You don't want to go there.

I do wanna go there.

If we alienate the Mayor or City Council, we'll be cutting off all...

- Fuck the Mayor. Fuck City Council. - Okay.

I'm so sick of this bullshit.

Yeah, I don't like it either.

Are we only supposed to put on plays that are acceptable to a tiny group of people?

Because right now it's Avenue Q, and next week, it'll be Book of Mormon,

and then it'll be the books that we can read or the films our children can watch.

I told the Mayor we might consider legal recourse

'cause of how far along we are, and he basically laughed.

Plus, I'd have to solicit City Council to even get funding to retain a lawyer.

I have a lawyer.

She's amazing. Her name is Celeste Wright. She worked for a huge firm.

Maddie, I haven't even told these guys. They don't know.

It just pisses me off because in large part,

this has to do with Renata Klein having this mayor and this town by the balls.

And if City Council were to see somebody like the likes of Celeste and Perry Wright

on the other side of this, they would have to pay attention.

Why... Why are you laughing?

You're such a bulldog.

It's because I care.

Will you just try and get a meeting with the Mayor?

Your work is too good, Joseph.

Hello?

Yeah.

Are you okay?

Her GPA was 3.9 coming into the year,

so, you know, it's early. We don't have to panic.

- What are you doing? Stop that.

But to see such a precipitous drop in performance makes me think

that there's usually something else going on.

- Are you taking drugs? - No, it's not drugs.

- Please. - Then what is this about? Is this about a boy?

Madeline? Sorry, is it okay if I call you Madeline?

As opposed to what? Arthur?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yes, you can call me Madeline.

It seems that Abigail is under a bit of stress at home.

Is this about Ed threatening your father? Did he tell you about that?

It isn't that. Um...

Then what's it about, honey?

I feel this burden or pressure. I don't know how to be perfect.

Excuse me?

- Whether it's I need to get into Stanford... - If this is about the SATs...

Maybe you should just let her finish.

- I'm speaking to my daughter right now. - Mom!

Go ahead. She can handle it.

Handle what?

There are a lot of high-powered women that live here.

Some run banks. Others run Google or Yahoo,

and sometimes I feel like you're grooming me to get to a place you, um, couldn't.

I think it would just be best if I go live with Dad for a while.

I just did not...

I feel like I can't be myself at home.

Have you been discussing this with him?

No.

I don't even think I was totally aware of how much I...

Until Ms. Brewster and I started talking.

Mom, I just need a change, okay?

I think it would be better for me, spiritually.

It's my fault. I never should have gotten into it with Nathan.

No, it's my fault.

I pushed her too hard. I always push too hard.

Honey, look at me.

Hey.

You are not losing her, okay?

You and Abby are so close.

Maybe too close, which is why she feels...

She wouldn't leave if she knew I had cancer.

Well, you don't have cancer.

But I'd be willing to get it.

- This is rough, Ed. - I know.

Your only crime is you were too good a parent.

I mean, you have raised a strong-minded, autonomous young woman

who can think for herself, who can express her feelings,

and she's equipped to make pretty big life decisions.

She is an extraordinary person,

just like her mom.

Thank you.

I'm gonna get better.

All right, Adam, where do we stand?

What? Lowlife scumbag.

Pricks who have a company that fits really well with ours.

Don't worry. He'll buy it. Okay, here's what you're gonna do.

You're gonna go into Malcolm and tell him we have a new deal.

And sweeten the executive stock options pool.

Yeah, let's keep these prepubescents flush in skateboards.

All right, now stop picking your noses, and get this done.

No, it's a fair price. They'll cave.

Don't worry. Oh, and a three-year vest, okay? No shorter.

Yeah, they've got to stay to get paid.

I will take care of it.

Okay, call me when it's done. Yeah.

I think Amabella should go to therapy.

- Therapy. - Well, it couldn't hurt.

She's six.

Yeah, but she's gifted,

which makes her intuitively advanced and emotionally more vulnerable.

Honey.

Please don't "honey" me.

I know she enjoyed her party,

but you have to admit her excitement seemed tempered,

and that's because Chloe and a couple of other favorite friends weren't there.

Yeah. But to seek medical help?

Medical? It's not medical. Gordon, don't be so old-fashioned.

Come on. It just...

We've talked about this. Amabella internalizes.

And a social slight can cause more psychological harm than a choking.

I come back to, "She's six."

Well, trust me, those wounds can last forever.

And she doesn't need to know she's seeing a child psychologist.

Some of the best ones now dress up as clowns.

We could sell it as another birthday surprise.

You're laughing at me?

Gordon, please, I spend all day long never letting my guard down.

Just let me be a scared mom. It's our daughter.

Look,

one of the things that makes you so successful

is that you're able to see every hiccup.

You know, it's one of your many gifts.

So one of the pitfalls is that you tend to way overthink everything.

Amabella had a great time at the party.

How could she not? That thing blew Disney On Ice away.

Have I become tragically unfun?

Oh, honey, no. Come on. No, of course not.

Oh, my God, I have.

I'm now one of those people I swore I would never turn myself into,

- some corporate, controlling, anxious... - Don't.

Don't. Stop it!

On our third date, we went skydiving. Do you remember that?

Indeed, I do.

Well, I think that was the last time I let myself just free fall.

When did we become past our spontaneous prime?

You want spontaneous?

Let's make love on that desk right now.

No, you know what? I take that back. Let's fuck on that desk right now.

- Don't make fun of me. - I am not making fun of you.

I am looking at my wife. I want to fuck her right here and right now.

Don't be ridiculous.

Why not? Ridiculous is totally commensurate with free falling. Take off your clothes.

Gordon.

Do I have to rip them off?

People will see.

No one will see.

Well, they'll hear. You know how I get.

Fine. No desk. Bathroom.

- Welcome, welcome. - Thank you very much.

Oh, the office is in that way.

- Okay. - Go ahead, yeah.

- On the couch? - Yes.

Okey-doke.

Well, so what brings you here today?

- Maybe... All right.

So you're free to talk about anything.

A lot of couples experience a death of passion...

Passion is definitely not our problem.

If it is, maybe it's because there's too much of it.

How do you mean?

Well, we love each other very much.

Yeah.

And, um...

I just think maybe we...

Things can just get a bit volatile.

Volatile how?

We fight a lot, and we say things.

We yell. We scream and...

We just have a lot of anger

that we need some help controlling.

When you talk of anger and volatility, uh...

Are we talking about a physical expression of anger?

No.

Just emotional, um...

Verbal.

Hmm...

It's not quite true.

After we fight, we...

We very often make love.

I don't know if you can call it making love. It's very...

There seems to be a lot of anger, you know, mixed up in it, and...

Mmm-hmm.

Well, there's a line between passion and rage and...

And, you know, sometimes maybe we...

We cross that sometimes.

Where do you think this rage comes from?

I don't know.

I don't even know how to begin to answer that question.

Try.

Okay. Uh...

I think I'm afraid of losing her.

Okay. Why do you think that?

Have you seen her? Look at her.

Uh... She can have any man she wants, you know.

And if she's not happy with me, there will be a...

A line of a thousand men just waiting, you know.

I... Yeah.

Lately, it doesn't always seem that she's happy.

And that, uh...

That terrifies me.

From the very beginning, like when we first met, I've always

worried that she would just go through me. You know, like that...

What do you mean by go through you?

That she would outgrow me, maybe,

or figure me out or something.

So I've always had the sense that...

That, you know, the day would come where she would just...

Where she would just not love me anymore, and...

And I...

I think I'm constantly looking for evidence that she...

Evidence that she doesn't love you anymore.

Celeste, how do you feel about what Perry just said?

I gave up my career for you.

I left my family. I left my friends.

I moved here for you. You honestly think I don't love you?

A couple of days ago, you said that you would leave me.

- What...

- What occasioned that?

Anybody?

I grabbed her.

I grabbed her by the shoulders, pretty hard.

So the idea that it's never gotten violent is...

I grabbed her hard.

And then she said that if I ever do that again, she would leave me.

He frightened me and...

Has this ever happened before?

Yeah.

Sometimes I lash out.

And you, Celeste?

What about me?

Do you ever lash out?

Yeah, when it gets physical, I fight back.

I do.

And how does that feel when this happens?

Not good. I don't feel good about it.

Can you be more specific?

I think I feel ashamed.

- Ashamed? - Yeah.

We get angry.

We fight and we...

We then have this crazy, angry sex.

And then we make up, and it's...

It's all better, and...

And we have this

dirty secret.

- Fuck me to the moon and back!

Fuck! Fuck me to the fucking moon and back!

Thank you all for coming.

Okay, our first order of business today regards our Annual Fall Gala Fundraiser.

Now, given the unprecedented success of last year's trivia night

with the theme "Dead Celebrities, "

we've decided to come back again with yet another costume gala,

this year titled "Elvis and Audrey Night."

- I think it should make for... - Oh, God.

- ...a splendid evening filled with fun, fashion, frivolity.

Uh, one which should raise some much-needed funding,

and I'm looking at you, Bruce Pedulla,

going to the benefit of all our wonderful, wonderful children.

Right? Right. Okay, great.

Any questions? Yes, Mrs. Cunningham.

We all dress as either Elvis or Audrey? The same costumes for everybody?

Yes, part of the fun will be seeing the different interpretations.

- Do you know her? - Any other questions?

I don't know. Do I?

Progress. Moving on.

Of all the people they want to pretend to be, Audrey Hepburn.

Great, I'll be the spitting image.

- Hey, Maddie. - Great.

Hi, Nathan. Hello, Bonnie.

- Ed. - Nathan.

- Um, can I steal you for a second? - Mmm.

Um...

It's about this whole Abby thing.

That was not my doing. I'm as surprised as you are.

Okay.

So are you all right with this?

I suppose, at this point, I have to be.

I mean, she has a very well-developed sense of self-awareness,

so, if she thinks it's what's best, then...

It's very mature of you.

And we'll take good care of her.

Um...

There's something that's a little off-subject, but not really.

Would you mind just discretely checking your husband right now?

Do you see the way he's staring at me?

I think he wants to fight me.

Don't be ridiculous. Ed doesn't fight.

Maddie, I just wanted to say

that I know that you're her mother. And Abigail knows it, too.

I will never try to encroach, ever.

All right.

All right, good cut, Timmy. Good cut.

All right, keep your eye on the ball next time, okay?

- Good cut, good cut. Who's next?

- Come on, guys. - Come on, Jessie. You can do it!

- Do I have to? - Yep. Mmm-hmm.

We talked about this. I need you to try it once.

And if you don't like it, I'll never make you do it again.

I just want to go play on the playground.

I know, but you might actually like it.

- Okay? - Okay.

I love you.

Come on, guys!

Hey!

Missed you at the meeting.

I know. I'm sorry. I'm at tee-ball with Ziggy.

Just trying to get him more involved.

Savor the moment because, trust me, they grow up.

Are you okay?

Abigail's decided she wants to go live with her father.

I'm so sorry.

Now I don't have to cook all that vegan crap.

Hey, can I call you back? Ziggy's about up to bat.

Yeah, go. Call me later.

Okay, bye.

So, now, keep your eye right on the ball, and swing as level as you can.

Okay, buddy? All right, here we go.

You've got this, baby!

Any time you're ready, Zig.

Go, go, go! Run! Run, Ziggy, run!

- Go, run, run! - Go, baby! Go!

- Run to second! Go to second! Go to second! - Go, baby! Go!

Go to third! Go to third! Go to third, Ziggy!

Go, babe!

Run, run, run! Home run! Home run!

Home run! Slap me some skin!

Oh, my God! You did it! You did it!

You cannot ruin this one.

It's hand-wash only, so make sure and tell Bonnie, or I guess you can tell your dad.

Maybe your dad does the laundry now.

Maybe he does.

I was thinking now that you are gone a little bit,

maybe we could have some girlfriend time.

That'd be cool.

Are you ever coming back?

Yeah, of course. I'm gonna come back all the time.

I made a playlist for you.

- Are you trying to take my room? - Can I?

No, you can't.

Maybe when I go to college, though.

- We should go get pizza. - It's all right.

What are you talking about? Baby, you just hit a home run on your very first try!

I think you're actually the first kid in history to ever do that.

Well, you have to be a little bit excited. Did you see those parents' faces?

Everybody was like... They were screaming! I was screaming! It was so good!

I have to do my family tree.

- No, that's not due for another week. - It's due tomorrow.

No. No, it's due on the 27th, I think.

I put it in my calendar 'cause I didn't want to forget that...

Oh, fuck.

What did you say?

Nothing. Sorry.

Are you fucking kidding me?

- Hey. God, thank you so much. - Hey.

Do not worry. We've got this.

Please, when Abigail was little, I used to get everything late.

That's fine.

Hi, Ziggy! I heard you hit a home run today.

- Yeah. - That is so exciting. Congratulations.

So I organized some of the photos.

Here's Grandma, Grandpa, um, cousins, brother, more cousins.

I don't know if they're first or second, though, because I'm not sure who they...

Okay, wait. First of all, we have to draw the tree. That's the most important thing.

They want it actually on the cardboard. Here you go, honey.

The assignment said the child has to contribute.

Now, put the trunk on there.

And you're gonna be in the trunk, and then your mom and dad are the leaves,

and then we'll go from there.

- What about my father? - Um...

- Mmm... We don't have... - We need to put him in here.

You don't have a dad, sweetie, so it's okay.

We'll use Grandma and Grandpa and me and Great Uncle Jimmy.

I still have to write my dad's name on the board.

You know, I said that, but everybody's board is going to be a little bit different.

You have to write down both of your parents' names.

I'll get in trouble if I don't.

No, you won't get in trouble.

- I want you to put it down. - Ziggy.

What is his name? Just write it down!

I don't know. You know that. I've told you this story so many times.

You know he would've loved you, but...

What is his name, for Christ's sakes?

Go to your room! That is not okay!

Have you ever tried to look him up?

No.

He told me that his name was Saxon Banks, like Mr. Banks, the dad in Mary Poppins.

Mmm...

But I googled him afterwards, and...

We met in a bar.

He was funny and sexy, and we were both pleasantly drunk.

We got a hotel room that overlooked the ocean.

It was beautiful and romantic.

And then he

changed.

What do you mean, he changed?

He became extremely aggressive.

It was like he was operating some piece of machinery or something.

It was just so rote.

I tried to resist, but he was way bigger than I was.

I eventuallyjust stopped resisting

because I was actually afraid that he would kill me.

He finished,

got up,

and said goodbye.

I said, "Bye."

That was it.

My God.

But he gave me my Ziggy, so...

Have you talked to anybody about this, like a therapist or a counselor or someone?

You're the first person I've ever told.

Oh, honey.

You know, there was a point where I thought that I had moved on,

that I had worked through it

and whatnot, but, no, I know that I'll never be over it.

But I know that I have to keep moving forward, you know?

That kid is...

He's gonna have a good life.

But the name of his father is not going on that fucking poster board.

- You're never going to believe this. - Hey.

The theme for the school party is Elvis Presley and Audrey Hepburn.

Oh, dear God, no.

Exactly. Where's Amabella?

She's in her room.

I'm admiring how beautiful...

Remember, after the remodel, we just walked around,

staring at how perfect everything was?

Can't make a perfect world.

No matter what, shit happens.

It felt really nice to be desired today.

It meant a lot. Thank you.

Honey,

I always desire you. Usually, it just annoys you.

No, you want to have sex all the time.

Today, you desired me.

We still don't know the truth about Jane.

I'm just saying.

Madeline had anger issues.

Itty bitty ball of rage.

Want to see her rage issues? Call her "itty bitty."

Renata had the whole kind of sexy praying mantis,

"bite your head off after sex" thing going.

Oh, yeah, that Bonnie's just the sweetest thing.

Yeah, right.

Celeste, she is an accomplished attorney,

and some people in this town resent that.

Rich, beautiful, madly in love.

Something had to be wrong.

Hey!

Hey.

What are you thinking?

I'm trying to decide whether I'm happy or sad.

People usually know.

I'm sad because...

Because my husband doubts my love for him.

And happy?

I'm happy because, the first time in a long time, I'm hopeful

for us.

Would you dance with me?

I just want to hold you, look into your eyes,

be in love with you,

and feel you being in love with me.

Would you?

The most beautiful song

with the most beautiful woman.

Don't give up on me, baby.