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1
00:00:05,831 --> 00:00:09,487
Previously
on "American Princess"...
2
00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:12,186
We like our peripheral employees
to stay consistent
3
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:14,405
with proper Elizabethan
as best they can.
4
00:00:14,449 --> 00:00:16,146
Huzzah for the tipper.
5
00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:17,539
We'll work on it.
6
00:00:17,582 --> 00:00:19,280
[ Women shrieking ]Miss you, bitch.
7
00:00:19,323 --> 00:00:22,022
-How's rehab?
-Lexi, she's not in rehab.
8
00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:24,285
That's just what we're saying.It's not Amanda's fault
9
00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:26,983
that that hooker bit off
her own tongue.Erin: It might be.
10
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,724
Helen: [ Lisping ]
I know you think I'm here
to stab you to death,
11
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:31,074
but the truth is, Amanda,
we're square.
12
00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:32,554
My mom paid you off.
13
00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:35,035
Now I can travel the circuit
in a tour bus.
14
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:37,385
♪♪
15
00:00:37,428 --> 00:00:39,430
[ Indistinct conversations ]
16
00:00:39,474 --> 00:00:44,174
♪♪
17
00:00:44,218 --> 00:00:45,393
Areola:
Huzzah for the tipper!
18
00:00:45,436 --> 00:00:47,264
-Huzzah!
-Huzzah!
19
00:00:47,308 --> 00:00:50,180
♪ Huzzah for the tipper
20
00:00:50,224 --> 00:00:52,269
It needs work.
[ Sighs ]
21
00:00:52,313 --> 00:00:54,576
[ Dignified British accent ]
Blanchett, Cate Blanchett. No.
22
00:00:54,619 --> 00:00:56,230
[ Rough Cockney accent ]
Cate Blanchett.
23
00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:57,579
Pray thee.
Pray -- Pray thee.
24
00:00:57,622 --> 00:00:59,624
Pray thee.
25
00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:01,626
Pray thee tell.
26
00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:03,324
[ Sighing ] Oh.
27
00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:06,240
Huzzah for the titties.
28
00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:09,330
[ Indistinct conversations ]
29
00:01:09,373 --> 00:01:11,288
-[ Gasps ] Oh!
-Good morrow, dear cuz!
30
00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:14,596
-[ Sighs ]
-Whoo! Oh, whoa. What's that?
31
00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:16,859
This is for Cyril.
32
00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:19,514
Cyril, I made you
a scoby-thingy,
33
00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:21,342
and the kombucha
is turning out great.
34
00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:23,735
I'd like to think it's because
I fermented it in the sun
35
00:01:23,779 --> 00:01:26,434
and not in horse shit.
36
00:01:26,477 --> 00:01:29,263
-Thanks?
-You're welcome.
37
00:01:29,306 --> 00:01:31,134
And this is pineapple juice,
for your cough.
38
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:33,093
I know it was a little better
last night,
39
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:35,834
but the natural bromelain in it
will nip it in the bud, I swear.
40
00:01:35,878 --> 00:01:38,924
You've totally embraced
the spirit of faire-mily!
41
00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:40,839
But I don't have a cough.
42
00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:42,537
Yes, you do.
43
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:44,234
You were up the last two nights.[ Boy coughs ]
44
00:01:44,278 --> 00:01:45,366
That was Lil Boy.
45
00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:47,107
Wh-What?
46
00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:49,326
This little boy slept
in our room last night?
47
00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:51,154
-Where else would he sleep?
-With his parents?
48
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:53,548
[ Laughing ]
I'm his parents!
49
00:01:53,591 --> 00:01:55,376
-You have a kid?
-You knew about him.
50
00:01:55,419 --> 00:01:57,769
I really truly
very much did not.
51
00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,989
Really?
52
00:02:00,032 --> 00:02:01,686
Well, this is Lil Boy.
53
00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:03,384
Yes, I can see
that he's a little boy.
54
00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:05,560
No, that's his name.
Lil Boy.
55
00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:07,083
Until he's old enough
to choose his own name.
56
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,041
-Fartbox!
-Okay, not old enough yet.
57
00:02:09,085 --> 00:02:10,304
Why don't you check the fridge
for Mommy?
58
00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:13,437
This isn't quite cold enough.
59
00:02:13,481 --> 00:02:15,570
He's been sleeping in our room
this whole time?
60
00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:18,050
Sometimes. Lulu home-schools
the faire brats,
61
00:02:18,094 --> 00:02:19,487
so a lot of times,
he crashes with her kids.
62
00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:21,445
Wait, hive parenting.
63
00:02:21,489 --> 00:02:23,447
I read about this
in Vanity Fair,I think.
64
00:02:23,491 --> 00:02:25,188
Or a Buzzfeed listicle.
65
00:02:25,232 --> 00:02:27,582
Lil Boy: One of the gasket
retainer screws is loose.
66
00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:31,281
I need Lee's
Allen wrench.
67
00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:33,936
-Okay.
-He does seem skilled.
68
00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:35,372
Certainly better
here with me
69
00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:37,287
than back home
with my crazy parents.
70
00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:39,463
Your parents are strict,
too, huh?
71
00:02:39,507 --> 00:02:42,249
My mom made me
take French andMandarin.
72
00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:45,382
Mercifor nothing,
Chairman Mao.
73
00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:47,210
Evangelical Christians.
74
00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:48,864
I wasn't even allowed to read
"The Giving Tree"
75
00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:51,606
when I was a kid, because
"If it can give you an apple,
76
00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:53,651
it can touch you
in your bathing suit area."
77
00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:57,089
Wow. Yeah, this is a much better
place for him. And you.
78
00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:59,570
And all of us!
79
00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:03,574
-Boobs look great.
-Thanks, babe.
80
00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:05,446
It'll hold like this
for a bit,
81
00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:07,535
but the gasket
needs to be replaced.
82
00:03:07,578 --> 00:03:09,972
Will do.
Thanks, kiddo.
83
00:03:10,015 --> 00:03:12,496
All right.
Three Wet-Naps, two matchbooks,
84
00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:14,237
and some toothpicks.
85
00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:16,108
Pleasure doing business
with you.
86
00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:19,416
-You, too, Fartbox.
-Unh-unh. Not Fartbox.
87
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:22,593
Good advice, man. Adding more
plant-based proteins to my diet.
88
00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:24,726
And I'll keep in mind
the spirit of the turkey.
89
00:03:24,769 --> 00:03:26,771
[ Both laugh ]
90
00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:29,687
You coming around, baby.
91
00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:33,169
Ah. The showers
are all taken?
92
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,866
[ Water running ]
93
00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:36,955
Yep.
94
00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:38,479
Hey!
95
00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:41,351
Same body wash.
96
00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:42,744
Got to love
that Mountain Mist.
97
00:03:42,787 --> 00:03:45,877
Great minds.
98
00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:47,966
Then again, we do differ
in our choices
99
00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:50,926
of toothpaste flavor.
100
00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:53,755
What kind of person
uses wintergreen?
101
00:03:53,798 --> 00:03:56,148
[ Chuckles ]
102
00:03:56,192 --> 00:03:57,846
What can I say?
I'm a wintergreen guy.
103
00:03:57,889 --> 00:04:01,632
Well, I also heard
that wintergreen
104
00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:04,896
was the flavor...
105
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:06,333
used by Hitler.
106
00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:08,770
♪♪
107
00:04:08,813 --> 00:04:10,467
[ Clears throat ]
108
00:04:10,511 --> 00:04:16,081
♪♪
109
00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:18,301
[ Muttering indistinctly ]
110
00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:20,303
[ Ethereal new-age
music playing ]
111
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:21,522
Good morrow,
Your Majesty.
112
00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:23,175
You're late.
113
00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:24,612
You missed
the Stanislavski warm-up.
114
00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:25,743
Jumping right into mirror.
115
00:04:25,787 --> 00:04:27,354
Thank you, mirror.
116
00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:29,834
♪♪
117
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:32,446
Apologies for being late,
but I just had
118
00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:36,058
a rather
awkward incident.
119
00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:39,017
I ran into Juan Andrés,
you know,
120
00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:43,326
the man I sort of like,
121
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,502
in the restroom.
122
00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:47,635
We were in line for the showers.
123
00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:50,202
I, you know, thought
I'd strike up a conversation,
124
00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:53,336
but it went poorly.
125
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:57,079
Five, six, seven, eight.
126
00:04:57,122 --> 00:04:59,908
I made a very bad joke...
about Hitler.
127
00:04:59,951 --> 00:05:00,735
-Zip.
-Zap.
128
00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:01,562
-Zop.
-Zip.
129
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:03,303
-Zap.
-Zop.
130
00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:05,653
I'm sure it was fine.
131
00:05:05,696 --> 00:05:08,351
And lift.
132
00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:10,484
-And scene.
-And scene.
133
00:05:10,527 --> 00:05:12,399
♪♪
134
00:05:12,442 --> 00:05:15,184
How do I show him
that I like him?
135
00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:16,446
Invite him over
for a Hefeweizen
136
00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:18,013
and a light chapter
of "Mein Kampf."
137
00:05:18,056 --> 00:05:19,797
[ Chuckles ]
138
00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:21,408
Really, Maggie,
I need your help.
139
00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:23,627
Oh, good God,
you're obsessed.
140
00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:25,542
What's his profession?
Janitor?
141
00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:28,197
He sells handmade wares.
142
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,286
Then show an interest
in his art or something.
143
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,027
What time is it, anyway?
144
00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:34,203
I need to Nair my widow's peak
before breakfast.
145
00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:36,292
I'm starting to look like
Count Chocula.
146
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,076
[ Indistinct conversations ]
147
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,774
All right, everybody, listen up.
148
00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:41,732
We got a couple things
on the agenda.
149
00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:44,866
There will be no more
25% employee discount
150
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:47,259
on meals purchased on
the grounds during Faire Days.What?
151
00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:48,913
Lee!
What?
Boo.
152
00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:50,524
Ticket sales dropped
opening weekend.
153
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,003
We got to pick up the slack.
154
00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:53,614
So eat less,
and it won't affect you.
155
00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:55,398
I can survive on a cup
of raw spinach a day.
156
00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:58,227
Okay, moving on.
Uh, the Queen's Royal Tea
157
00:05:58,270 --> 00:06:01,273
will now become
the Queen's Royal Pub Crawl.
158
00:06:01,317 --> 00:06:03,885
Woman: Oh!Profit margins
are higher with booze.
159
00:06:03,928 --> 00:06:07,279
And, uh, Callie, no more
nip slips at the joust.
160
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:09,499
We had some complaints
from the parents.
161
00:06:09,543 --> 00:06:11,545
Actually, no, just the moms.
The dads were fine with it.
162
00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:13,285
Free the nipple!
163
00:06:13,329 --> 00:06:14,591
[ Cheers and applause ]
164
00:06:14,635 --> 00:06:16,985
Nips!
165
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:19,117
No more moms!
166
00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:20,815
All right, let's take
this energy outside
167
00:06:20,858 --> 00:06:22,904
and show these people
what the faire is about.
168
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:24,993
Now, how about three cheers
for the faire?
169
00:06:25,036 --> 00:06:26,690
-Hip hip...
-Huzzah.
170
00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:28,866
-Hip hip...
-Huzzah.
171
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:32,000
-Hip hip...
-Huzzah!
172
00:06:32,043 --> 00:06:34,785
Come on, guys!
Let's do it!
173
00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:36,570
-Come on, come on, get up.
-Yeah!
174
00:06:36,613 --> 00:06:38,485
-All right, everybody.
-Let's go, freaks!
175
00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:40,182
Man:
All right, everybody,
176
00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:42,706
let's go out there
and make some money!
177
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,882
-[ Clears throat ]
-Oh, God.
178
00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:47,624
-Yes, Maggie?
-The Queen's Tea is a tradition.
179
00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:49,800
I've led it every Faire Day
here since taking on
180
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:51,236
-the role of Elizabeth.
-Uh-huh.
181
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,935
The little girls sit
and converse with the Queen.
182
00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:56,459
It is vital to show them
how upper-class women behave.
183
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:59,810
I'm sorry, but we got to pick up
cash wherever we can find it.
184
00:06:59,854 --> 00:07:02,030
I will not besmirch the legacy
of the great Queen
185
00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:04,511
simply to put a couple
of extra shekels in your pocket.
186
00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:08,471
I figured you'd say that,
so I am prepared.
187
00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:09,994
"It is said
that Elizabeth I
188
00:07:10,038 --> 00:07:13,041
drank at least two pints
of ale every day.
189
00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:15,652
In 1593, the royal household
went through
190
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:18,568
approximately
600,000 gallons of ale,"
191
00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:19,743
signed the Internet.
192
00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:21,441
The Queen drank beer, yes,
193
00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:23,704
but in the refined company
of her ladies-in-waiting.
194
00:07:23,747 --> 00:07:25,967
She never rubbed elbows
with drunken bachelor parties,
195
00:07:26,010 --> 00:07:29,231
nor hairy men
in ironic t-shirts.
196
00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:30,928
Your ladies-in-waiting
will be there with you,
197
00:07:30,972 --> 00:07:34,149
so it will be completely
historically accurate.
198
00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:36,804
Just think of it like
a royal girls' night out.
199
00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:38,283
I don't believe
in girlfriends.
200
00:07:38,327 --> 00:07:40,721
Bitches be haters.
201
00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:42,679
All done?
202
00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:45,856
Why, thank thee, fine sir.
203
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:49,512
Woman: I should get
a dress like that, right?
204
00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:51,775
Your pitcher, m'lords.
205
00:07:51,819 --> 00:07:53,734
Thank you, m'lady.
A tip for you.
206
00:07:53,777 --> 00:07:55,257
Just the tip?
207
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,998
Frankly, sir,
I'd prefer the whole hog.
208
00:07:57,041 --> 00:07:59,479
-[ Laughs ]
-Oh!
209
00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:01,655
-Hey, Amanda.
-No more free beer, Friar.
210
00:08:01,698 --> 00:08:04,048
-Lee would have my head.
-I'm not here for the booze.
211
00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:06,050
Ophelia, the empty kegs
got to move.
212
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:08,357
On it. Friar!
213
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,185
-Listen, can you do me a favor?
-Is it sexual?
214
00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:12,361
Because geriatric alcoholics
aren't really my type.
215
00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:14,406
No, no, no, what? Listen,
Natasha usually does my show
216
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:16,626
at 4:00, but she -- she got
a ribbon burn on the May pole,
217
00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:18,367
and now she needs
to ice her palms.
218
00:08:18,410 --> 00:08:20,238
-So can you fill in?
-Okay, okay, fine, I'll do it.
219
00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:21,849
-Oh, thank you. Thank you.
-If you move, please.
220
00:08:21,892 --> 00:08:23,111
All right. Thanks.
221
00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:27,507
Oh, nice muscles.
222
00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:30,771
Duh. I'm in wedding shape,
which is scientifically proven
223
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:33,251
to be the hottest moment
of any woman's life.
224
00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:36,864
SoulCycle and kettle bells.
Plus, I cut out grains.
225
00:08:36,907 --> 00:08:38,474
Such a city lady.
226
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,215
-Hey!
-Uh, you are.
227
00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:42,957
It's okay, but you are.
228
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,915
Hmm. Well, could a city lady
do this?
229
00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:48,092
I can smell your French disease
from here.
230
00:08:48,136 --> 00:08:49,746
Back across the channel
with you, pagans!
231
00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:52,575
Hey! Oh, fie, Puritan!
232
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:55,839
Go jack your beanstalk
onto a communion wafer.
233
00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:58,146
-[ Chuckles ]
-It'll release some frustration.
234
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:04,718
You know, the high fives were
a little bit anachronistic,
235
00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:06,197
but, I mean,
you're getting there.
236
00:09:06,241 --> 00:09:08,983
You'll blend in,
eventually.
237
00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:11,333
I'm blending in
just fine.
238
00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:15,598
♪♪
239
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,948
All done? Aye.
240
00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:21,256
Patrons, pay attention,
for this man has given me
241
00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:24,302
what every woman desires --
multiples!
242
00:09:24,346 --> 00:09:25,695
[ Laughter ]
243
00:09:25,739 --> 00:09:27,436
Huzzah for the tipper!
244
00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:29,090
-Huzzah!
-Huzzah!
245
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:32,136
[ Laughter fades ]
246
00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:34,748
♪ Yo, clock in
when the mood strikes ♪
247
00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:37,751
♪ I do what a boss likes,
slowpokes, they look twice ♪
248
00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:40,405
♪ Cold...I'm a Klondike...boys
get curved tough ♪
249
00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:42,103
No. Way.
♪ When a girl gang,
gang roll up ♪
250
00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:43,495
♪ Make a beeline
for the green room ♪
251
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:45,280
♪ I get money to show up
252
00:09:45,323 --> 00:09:46,629
♪ Break, break, break, break
253
00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:49,414
Ugh.
254
00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:50,677
-Ew.
-Ew.
255
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:51,808
Ew.
256
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,377
Oh, my God.
257
00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:59,686
Hi!Hi!
Hi!Hi!
258
00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:01,557
Wow.You guys!
This.
259
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,776
What are you doing here?
260
00:10:02,819 --> 00:10:04,342
We came
to check on you, babe.
261
00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:05,996
Nick: I mean, did you think
we forgot about you?
262
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,432
Oh, kind of.
263
00:10:07,476 --> 00:10:09,478
-No.
-You guys!
264
00:10:09,521 --> 00:10:10,827
Uh, c-come sit down?
265
00:10:10,871 --> 00:10:12,394
-Yeah. Let's go.
-Okay.
266
00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:18,530
[ Indistinct conversations ]
267
00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:21,055
Two secs, you guys.
I am dying to catch up.
268
00:10:21,098 --> 00:10:24,275
Yeah. Okay. What in the dorky
hell has gotten into her?
269
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:25,973
It's like she's been kidnapped
by those drum circle
270
00:10:26,016 --> 00:10:27,322
mole people
in Union Square.
271
00:10:27,365 --> 00:10:29,106
-Uh-huh.
-Those titties, though.
272
00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:31,282
Yes, girl,
those titties.
273
00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:33,371
Lexi, can you actually
stop calling me "girl"?
274
00:10:33,415 --> 00:10:34,938
It's starting
to feel minimizing.
275
00:10:34,982 --> 00:10:36,636
Oh, my God. I would never,
ever want you to feel that.
276
00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:38,855
-I'm so sorry.
-It's okay. It's okay.
277
00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:40,248
I'm mean,
I'm just really grateful
278
00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:42,163
that I could share
my truth with you.
279
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,905
-Love you, bitch.
-Love you, too, bitch. Mwah.
280
00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:47,429
-Sangria. On me.
-Ooh. Thanks, sweetie.
281
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:48,822
So, is this, like,
your jobjob, or...?
282
00:10:48,865 --> 00:10:50,475
I mean, it's part of it.
283
00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:52,260
Basically, we're all
sort of performers
284
00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:54,175
in a larger production.
285
00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:57,091
We all live communally,
so it's kind of like a kibbutz.
286
00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:58,440
It seems more like
Rajneeshpuram.
287
00:10:58,483 --> 00:10:59,615
-Yeah.
-Ma Anand Sheela
288
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,182
-is a feminist icon.
-Tea.
289
00:11:01,225 --> 00:11:02,226
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
290
00:11:02,270 --> 00:11:03,227
-Yes!
-Cheers.
291
00:11:03,271 --> 00:11:04,620
Oh, no.
292
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,448
So, what's news
with you guys?
293
00:11:06,491 --> 00:11:08,232
Um, well,
Nick hit 10k on Instagram.
294
00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:10,974
And Rachel Zoe
retweeted me.
295
00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:13,194
Yeah, and Lexi's
on a new antidepressant.Yay!
296
00:11:13,237 --> 00:11:15,326
So, and then, with me, you know,
work is work, same thing.
297
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:17,372
80 hours a week, Postmates for
every meal,
298
00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:19,461
totally worth it.
299
00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:21,855
-That's amazing, you guys.
-Yeah.
300
00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:23,683
God, you look so cute,
by the way, Amanda.
301
00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:26,424
I mean, you are really serving,
like, pure Coachella realness.
302
00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:27,556
-Yeah, you do.
-Honestly, you guys,
303
00:11:27,599 --> 00:11:29,993
I feel amazing.
304
00:11:30,037 --> 00:11:32,996
♪♪
305
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:34,606
Wow.
[ Chuckles ]
306
00:11:34,650 --> 00:11:37,305
It's just such a shock
seeing you here.
307
00:11:37,348 --> 00:11:39,481
Faire virgins. I hope your first
time doesn't hurt too much.
308
00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:41,048
Hon, look,
we're not here to judge.
309
00:11:41,091 --> 00:11:42,353
I mean, with everything
you've been through,
310
00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:43,354
it makes sense
that you would run off
311
00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:45,487
and do something...different,
312
00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,054
um, as you recover
from the stress.
313
00:11:47,097 --> 00:11:48,795
-And humiliation.
-Yeah.
314
00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:50,057
Lexi:
And we're also here to check
315
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:51,798
that you aren't
totally mentally ill.
316
00:11:51,841 --> 00:11:53,408
Lexi, that was car talk.
317
00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:55,366
-We told you.
-Like four times.
318
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:57,455
[ Laughs ]
Sorry. It's the new meds.
319
00:11:57,499 --> 00:12:00,067
Oh, my God.
320
00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:03,592
Tankards and flagons
and jugs for sale.
321
00:12:03,635 --> 00:12:06,377
You won't find a better
pair of jugs, milady.
322
00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:08,031
And make sure
you tell your friends.
323
00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:09,554
Fill it to the top with mead,
324
00:12:09,598 --> 00:12:12,688
and you'll need
a carriage ride home!
325
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,777
Well met, Juan Andrés.
326
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:17,911
Uh, hi.
327
00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,869
Come, get your flagons!
328
00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:23,351
My, what beautiful wares.
329
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:26,789
What are these made of?
330
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,095
Cow horns.
331
00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:30,924
Makes sense.
Aah.
332
00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:32,752
Flagons, tankards, milady.
333
00:12:32,795 --> 00:12:35,276
Oh!
And pray tell,
334
00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:38,192
what about
this, uh, gorgeous
335
00:12:38,235 --> 00:12:41,804
suede-like canteen?
336
00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:43,545
Suede.
337
00:12:43,588 --> 00:12:45,155
Suede?
338
00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:47,244
Suede.
339
00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:48,942
-Milady.
-Milord.
340
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:52,249
Tankards and flagons
and jugs for sale!
341
00:12:52,293 --> 00:12:56,253
Oh, this --
Now, this is so lovely.
342
00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:59,256
I can imagine pouring myself
a Montepulciano
343
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:02,738
or some other Old World red
in one of these.
344
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,567
Are you, mayhaps,
also a wine-drink--
345
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:07,003
[ Ceramic shatters ]Oh.
346
00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:09,005
Oh, fie.
347
00:13:09,049 --> 00:13:10,833
I-I-I am so sorry.
348
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:12,530
I-I will pay
for all of these.
349
00:13:12,574 --> 00:13:14,358
It's okay.
I make these myself,
350
00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:17,884
so it's just lost time.
351
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:20,800
You make all these
ceramic mugs yourself?
352
00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:23,063
Out of...
353
00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:25,456
Clay.
354
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:27,763
Clay.
355
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:32,072
Welcome, my countrymen,
to the Queen's...Pub Crawl.
356
00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:34,639
As you toast the monarchy,
you may approach
357
00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:36,685
and ask any questions you'd like
358
00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:40,123
about our daily lives
in the court.
359
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:42,691
Is it true you guys, like,
never took showers?
360
00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:44,824
Did the Queen have to poop
in a bucket?[ Laughter ]
361
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:46,303
Please, let us keep
the questions
362
00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:48,436
related to
our courtly life.
363
00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:51,569
For instance, can you guess
how many ladies-in-waiting
364
00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:54,529
I did host
in my time as queen?
365
00:13:54,572 --> 00:13:56,313
-69!
-69!
366
00:13:56,357 --> 00:13:59,099
[ Laughter ]
367
00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:01,362
Ah, hear ye, hear ye.
368
00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:04,756
Uh, the Queen commands that
whomever can consume their beer
369
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,629
with the most haste
shall be made lady-in-waiting
370
00:14:07,672 --> 00:14:08,804
-for the day.
-Wow.
371
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,284
And you can be a guy.
372
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,634
Or however you may identify.
373
00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:14,941
[ Cheers and applause ]
374
00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:18,161
Yes, what a civilized idea.
375
00:14:18,205 --> 00:14:20,468
On my count, drink.
376
00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:22,949
One, two, three.
377
00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:28,737
-Yeah!
-Yes!
378
00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:30,695
-Oh!
-Whoo-hoo!
379
00:14:30,739 --> 00:14:33,568
I suppose I must declare a tie
380
00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:36,701
between these two, um,
spirited wenches.
381
00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:39,400
-Um, please, join my court.
-Yes!
382
00:14:39,443 --> 00:14:41,271
-Sweet!
-And as our first duty
383
00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:44,013
on the Queen's court,
we're doing shots.
384
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:45,275
[ Cheers and applause ]
385
00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:46,494
No, no, no, I shan't.
386
00:14:46,537 --> 00:14:48,278
Chug it, your horniness.
387
00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:49,758
-Chug it, your horniness.
-Chug it, your horniness.
388
00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,368
All: [ Chanting ]
Chug it, your horniness.
389
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:54,415
The Queen drank.
And shots cost extra.
390
00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:56,243
Come on.
What would Daniel Day-Lewis do?
391
00:14:56,286 --> 00:14:57,940
He'd retire.
392
00:14:57,984 --> 00:14:59,550
-Chug it, your horniness!
-Chug it, your horniness!
393
00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:01,378
Chug it, your horniness!Chug it, your horniness!
394
00:15:01,422 --> 00:15:03,903
[ Cheers and applause ]
395
00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:07,994
♪♪
396
00:15:14,435 --> 00:15:15,915
O0 C1Nick: I feel like this is
my new summer drink.What is this?ome more.
397
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:17,438
Lexi: Morgan.It's honestly, like, disgusting.
398
00:15:17,481 --> 00:15:20,354
-Oh, my God.
-It's di-- Uh --
399
00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:21,485
Oh, my God.
400
00:15:21,529 --> 00:15:23,618
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
401
00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:25,794
Okay, who are those
shiny people?
402
00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:27,535
They're my friends
from home.
403
00:15:27,578 --> 00:15:29,798
Oh, my gosh! Fun! I'll go
spray 'em with bubble water.
404
00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:31,104
No!
405
00:15:31,147 --> 00:15:33,323
They're not
those kind of people.
406
00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:35,630
-I'm actually really nervous?
-How come?
407
00:15:35,673 --> 00:15:37,588
It's the whole
mixing-worlds thing.
408
00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:39,242
You know when you introduce
your yoga friends
409
00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:40,417
to your Pilates friends,
410
00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:42,985
and the vibe
is just super different?
411
00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:45,857
[ Sighs ]
412
00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:47,511
I need
for them to like it.
413
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:50,471
Oh, they're like you were
three weeks ago --
414
00:15:50,514 --> 00:15:54,083
a newborn baby possum,
blind and small-headed.
415
00:15:54,127 --> 00:15:56,825
But then you grew up to be
a warm, smushy,
416
00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:59,480
sighted
woodland creature.
417
00:15:59,523 --> 00:16:00,960
This pertains how?
418
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,787
Show them the faire
through your eyes.
419
00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:04,006
Then they'll be sold.
420
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:05,703
I vote more alcohol.
421
00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:07,618
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Good idea.
422
00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:10,099
Yeah.
423
00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:13,189
I feel like we've been here
for 500 hours.
424
00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:14,625
-More sangria?
-[ Gasps ] Yes, please.
425
00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:16,410
-Yes, Mom.
-Fun, right?
426
00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:18,760
I mean, yeah, if by "fun,"
you mean super offensive.
427
00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:20,327
-Thank you.
-What is with all
428
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:22,503
the horny nerd humor?
It's like, I feel like
429
00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:24,070
the only girl in, like,
a Fortnite chat room.
430
00:16:24,113 --> 00:16:25,941
Oh, come on. It's 1585.
431
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,247
Things were different
back then.
432
00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:28,813
Um, well,
but it's not back then.
433
00:16:28,857 --> 00:16:30,859
It's now pretending
to be back then.
434
00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:33,557
Actually, it's a super
empowering place for women.
435
00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:36,386
It's super inclusive and
non-judgey and body positive.
436
00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:38,823
-Like the Trevor Project.
-No.
437
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:41,217
Fine wenches,
438
00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:44,046
you all look delicious.
439
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:47,049
I wish I could give each of you
a long, steady ride
440
00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:49,312
on my horse.
441
00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:51,749
-A rose, milady?
-From you? God, no.
442
00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:53,882
I'd literally rather get a rose
from Arie Luyendyk --
443
00:16:53,925 --> 00:16:56,667
All: The most hated Bachelor
of all time.
444
00:16:56,711 --> 00:16:59,540
[ Lively folk music playing
in distance ]
445
00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:01,846
-But you should take --
-I'll take a flower, sir.
446
00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:07,287
♪♪
447
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,158
[ All gasp ]
448
00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:10,681
Oh!
449
00:17:10,725 --> 00:17:13,075
[ All muttering indistinctly ]
450
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,425
♪♪
451
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:17,645
[ All gasp ]
452
00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:19,908
Morgan: Ugh.
453
00:17:19,951 --> 00:17:22,954
Meet me at the joust
at 2:00 and 30.
454
00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:24,869
I'll ride for thine honor.
455
00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:26,306
[ Music stops,
applause in distance ]
456
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:27,698
[ Nick whispers indistinctly ]
457
00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:30,136
Lexi:
It's so hot. [ Sighs ]
458
00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:32,225
Lexi, what just
happened to me?
459
00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:34,705
Amanda, you were
just assaulted.
460
00:17:34,749 --> 00:17:35,793
Totally.
461
00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:37,360
I feel triggered.
462
00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:39,406
I'm fine.
Like I said,
463
00:17:39,449 --> 00:17:41,408
things are different here.
464
00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:43,932
There's a familiar vibe
between performers.
465
00:17:43,975 --> 00:17:46,108
He just made out with your neck.
Do you even know him?
466
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:48,110
Yeah, I've seen him around.
He's like a jouster.
467
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:50,243
Like from "A Knight's Tale"?
Heath Ledger
468
00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:51,635
-was my sexual awakening.
-Oh, my God.
469
00:17:51,679 --> 00:17:53,376
-Oh, my God. Me, too.
-Hashtag "MeToo."
470
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:54,725
Stop it!
That is not a joke!
471
00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:56,771
Ow.
[ Snickering ]
472
00:17:56,814 --> 00:17:59,426
Amanda, this is
your workplace, okay?
473
00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:01,036
You need to stand up
for consent.
474
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,430
Okay, okay, fine,
but can we just take a beat
475
00:18:03,473 --> 00:18:05,388
and appreciate this faire?
476
00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:08,783
It's super fun, I swear.
477
00:18:08,826 --> 00:18:10,263
Hmm.
478
00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:11,699
[ Singsong voice ]
There's shopping!
479
00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:13,744
-[ Gasps ] Yes!
-Okay. Grab my drink.
480
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,224
Okay, can you put it up?
481
00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:16,573
-Like here?
-'Cause that's not a good angle.
482
00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:17,574
-Yeah.
-Like that?
483
00:18:17,618 --> 00:18:19,054
Woman: Huzzah!
484
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:22,188
♪♪
485
00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:24,407
[ Retches ]
486
00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:26,670
I'm sorry to be, like,
that person,
487
00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:28,977
but do they have anything
that's paleo here?
488
00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:30,283
Cucumber mint water?
489
00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:31,762
What about turkey legs?
490
00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:35,026
Yes, bitch. Pure lean protein.
Thank you.
491
00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:37,551
[ Clears throat ]
Who's a city lady?
492
00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:41,772
♪♪
493
00:18:41,816 --> 00:18:43,165
Man: Take dead aim!
494
00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:44,558
Try your luck.
495
00:18:44,601 --> 00:18:49,171
♪♪
496
00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:51,130
I see you, Legolas!
497
00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:54,045
Whew. Orlando Bloom wishes
he looked this good.
498
00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:56,091
Tankards and flagons!
Show me your jugs,
499
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,049
-and I'll show you mine.
-Seriously?
500
00:18:58,093 --> 00:19:01,183
Would it hurt you to trynot
to commodify women's bodies?
501
00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:04,404
[ Laughing ]
502
00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:05,883
It's fine.
503
00:19:05,927 --> 00:19:07,537
♪♪
504
00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:08,669
[ Giggles ]
505
00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:10,192
-Yes!
-You. Guys.
506
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:11,541
-This --
-Mean.
507
00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:13,587
-Much.
-It's you. Literally you.
508
00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:15,502
Do you guys take
AmEx black?
509
00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:17,591
[ Lisping ]
You bet your ass they do.
510
00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:19,375
[ Indistinct conversations
in distance ]
511
00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:29,080
-Who was that?
-No one.
512
00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:32,258
No one.
513
00:19:32,301 --> 00:19:35,043
Wait, wait,
you have to try this on.Yes.
514
00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:39,656
This faire is full of debauchery
and disgusting behavior!
515
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:42,311
Oh, my God.
Thank you. Yes.
516
00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:45,619
The wanton whores should be
drawn and quartered,
517
00:19:45,662 --> 00:19:47,969
lest they corrupt young men
518
00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:50,276
-seeking virgin wives.
-Oh, wait.
519
00:19:50,319 --> 00:19:52,234
No. Women are -- are not
property.
520
00:19:52,278 --> 00:19:53,757
-You're missing it. You're --
-A woman's value
521
00:19:53,801 --> 00:19:55,281
lies in her maidenhead.
522
00:19:55,324 --> 00:19:57,021
Disgusting!
523
00:19:57,065 --> 00:20:00,373
Ooh, aye! Here's a bunch
of filthy peasants!
524
00:20:00,416 --> 00:20:04,594
Aye! Come back to the washer
wench show at 3:00 and 30,
525
00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:07,249
where getting clean
never felt so dirty.
526
00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:09,251
-[ Grunts, hums ]
-I'm sorry.
527
00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:11,732
Did you guys just call
yourselves "washer wenches"?
528
00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:13,864
A wench be
a working girl.
529
00:20:13,908 --> 00:20:15,605
-Aye, aye.
-Okay, but don't you think
530
00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:17,868
you could have come up
with, like, a more woke name
531
00:20:17,912 --> 00:20:20,393
-than that?
-More woke?
532
00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:22,525
"Woke" being
a culturally black term
533
00:20:22,569 --> 00:20:26,137
recently appropriated
by mainstream America?
534
00:20:26,181 --> 00:20:29,924
Just want to make sure I'm
hearing you correctly...Becky.
535
00:20:32,883 --> 00:20:34,145
Uh --
536
00:20:35,843 --> 00:20:38,149
Hello? Oh, yeah.
537
00:20:38,193 --> 00:20:42,284
I'm so sorry about her
and her Becky-ism.
538
00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:44,939
Nay, nay,
good mistress Ophelia!
539
00:20:44,982 --> 00:20:47,202
Have thee a pleasant day!
540
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,552
-Mm!
-Aye.
541
00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:02,304
O0 C1[ [ Slurring ]ng,
Oh, actually, actually,
542
00:21:02,348 --> 00:21:04,959
I did sleep with many men
out of wedlock.
543
00:21:05,002 --> 00:21:07,178
Lord Chancellor
Christopher Hatton,
544
00:21:07,222 --> 00:21:09,703
the second Earl of Essex
Robert Devereux,
545
00:21:09,746 --> 00:21:11,182
Sir Walter Raleigh.
546
00:21:11,226 --> 00:21:13,576
Oh, you are such
a whore, you!
547
00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:15,622
You --
548
00:21:15,665 --> 00:21:19,365
[ All shrieking, laughing ]
549
00:21:19,408 --> 00:21:22,542
Cheers to the Queen
and her breast friends!
550
00:21:22,585 --> 00:21:24,935
[ All cheering ]
551
00:21:27,808 --> 00:21:29,766
Oh.
552
00:21:29,810 --> 00:21:32,552
I suppose you are
my best lady friends.
553
00:21:32,595 --> 00:21:35,511
Barkeep, can I have
another, please?
554
00:21:35,555 --> 00:21:38,122
And one
for my dear friend...
555
00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:41,082
♪♪
556
00:21:41,125 --> 00:21:43,954
Who are you?
557
00:21:43,998 --> 00:21:45,391
-I'm Alicia.
-Mm?
558
00:21:45,434 --> 00:21:48,307
We've worked together
for three summers.
559
00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:51,571
Alicia, you must tell me
everything about yourself.
560
00:21:51,614 --> 00:21:56,358
Are you, as I suspect,
from a troubled home?
561
00:21:56,402 --> 00:21:58,578
You have such sad eyes.
562
00:21:58,621 --> 00:22:00,623
♪♪
563
00:22:00,667 --> 00:22:02,625
♪ What do you do
with a drunken sailor? ♪
564
00:22:02,669 --> 00:22:04,714
♪ What do you do
with a drunken sailor? ♪
565
00:22:04,758 --> 00:22:09,850
♪ What do you do with a drunken
sailor earlye in the mornin'? ♪
566
00:22:09,893 --> 00:22:12,461
Oh. Mug him in the subway
and take his Guccis!
567
00:22:12,505 --> 00:22:14,463
♪ Mug him in the subway
and take his Guccis ♪
568
00:22:14,507 --> 00:22:16,335
♪ Mug him in the subway
and take his Guccis ♪
569
00:22:16,378 --> 00:22:18,075
♪ Mug him in the subway
and take his Guccis ♪
570
00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:20,556
♪ Earlye in the morning
571
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,297
I have one!
572
00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:24,168
Aw, man, I forgot.
573
00:22:24,212 --> 00:22:28,085
♪ Aw, man, she forgot,
aw, man, she forgot ♪
574
00:22:28,129 --> 00:22:34,657
♪ Aw, man, she forgot
earlye in the mornin' ♪
575
00:22:34,701 --> 00:22:36,790
[ Cheers and applause ]
576
00:22:40,271 --> 00:22:42,404
I mean, look, I'm --
I'll say it -- issa bop.
577
00:22:42,448 --> 00:22:45,451
[ Laughter ]
578
00:22:45,494 --> 00:22:48,367
Amanda, Amanda, look,
there's your assaulter.
579
00:22:48,410 --> 00:22:50,412
Oh, Morgan,
he didn't assault me.
580
00:22:50,456 --> 00:22:51,979
Oh, really? So you're just
not gonna confront him
581
00:22:52,022 --> 00:22:54,198
about his toxic behavior?
582
00:22:54,242 --> 00:22:56,592
Okay, no, yeah, no.
I just, you know --
583
00:22:56,636 --> 00:22:58,289
I thought you were
a feminist, Amanda.
584
00:23:01,902 --> 00:23:05,688
Hey.
Um, sir, uh, Jouster.
585
00:23:05,732 --> 00:23:07,647
-Hi. Um, so...
-Hi.
586
00:23:07,690 --> 00:23:09,997
I think that we need to define
some workplace boundaries.
587
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,216
When you kissed me earlier,
I have to acknowledge
588
00:23:12,260 --> 00:23:15,785
that it wasn't something that
I technically consented to.
589
00:23:15,829 --> 00:23:18,745
Uh, I didn't
tell you to stop,
590
00:23:18,788 --> 00:23:21,356
but I didn't
joyfully consent.
591
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,271
Not that I'm saying
you're the Cat Person
592
00:23:23,314 --> 00:23:25,186
from that New Yorkerpiece.
You are so not the Cat Person.
593
00:23:25,229 --> 00:23:27,014
-I'm actually attracted to you.
-Nice.
594
00:23:27,057 --> 00:23:28,711
-Not that that's relevant.
-It's not.
595
00:23:28,755 --> 00:23:33,063
Anyway...
I hope that makes sense.
596
00:23:33,107 --> 00:23:34,500
Do you need any
clarification?
597
00:23:34,543 --> 00:23:37,372
No. [ Chuckles ]
I don't have any allergies.
598
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,592
Listen, I got to go
brush my horse.
599
00:23:39,635 --> 00:23:41,811
But we should
hook up sometime.
600
00:23:41,855 --> 00:23:45,728
[ Indistinct conversations ]
601
00:23:45,772 --> 00:23:47,426
Amanda. Amanda.
602
00:23:47,469 --> 00:23:48,775
-Huh?
-Hi.
603
00:23:48,818 --> 00:23:51,299
-Oh.
-Me? Yeah. I'm genuinely worried
604
00:23:51,342 --> 00:23:53,040
about your safety here, okay?
605
00:23:53,083 --> 00:23:55,129
This is like one giant
pussy-grabbing party.
606
00:23:55,172 --> 00:23:57,392
Morgan, you don't have to worry.Okay, but it's not just about
607
00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:58,828
the aggrosexual jouster,
all right?
608
00:23:58,872 --> 00:24:00,395
It's this whole culture.
609
00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:02,005
Like, women
are objects here.
610
00:24:02,049 --> 00:24:04,268
-Amanda! Amanda, you're up.
-Yes?
611
00:24:04,312 --> 00:24:06,619
-Oh, right, right, right.
-Let's go, let's go, let's go.
612
00:24:06,662 --> 00:24:11,058
Listen, this is an amazing place
for women to feel empowered.
613
00:24:11,101 --> 00:24:12,625
I swear we're not
just objects here.
614
00:24:12,668 --> 00:24:17,673
Wench auction!
615
00:24:17,717 --> 00:24:19,719
[ Cheers and applause ]
616
00:24:19,762 --> 00:24:23,244
Gentlemen and
not so gentle ladies,
617
00:24:23,287 --> 00:24:26,639
we have some fine wenches
to be auctioned to you today.
618
00:24:26,682 --> 00:24:28,641
And you can pay fair price...
619
00:24:28,684 --> 00:24:31,513
or not![ Laughter ]
620
00:24:31,557 --> 00:24:33,472
I'll start the bidding.
621
00:24:33,515 --> 00:24:36,126
No.
With this lovely woman
622
00:24:36,170 --> 00:24:39,086
in the queer attire.
623
00:24:39,129 --> 00:24:41,610
Bid it up, boys.[ Men cheering ]
624
00:24:41,654 --> 00:24:46,180
Now, can I start this bidding
at one plague rat?
625
00:24:46,223 --> 00:24:47,224
Man:
Aye! One plague rat.
626
00:24:47,268 --> 00:24:48,487
10 dead penguins.
627
00:24:48,530 --> 00:24:49,531
A sickly sheep!
628
00:24:49,575 --> 00:24:50,967
10 bales of hay!
629
00:24:51,011 --> 00:24:53,013
I bid my ex-wife!
630
00:24:53,056 --> 00:24:54,449
[ Laughter ]
631
00:24:54,493 --> 00:24:56,451
-That might be it!
-Two yards of wool
632
00:24:56,495 --> 00:24:58,192
-and a young lamb.
-Sold!
633
00:24:58,235 --> 00:25:00,890
To the gentleman with
questionable motives.
634
00:25:00,934 --> 00:25:03,240
[ Cheers and applause ]
635
00:25:06,243 --> 00:25:08,289
Ah, they're made
for each other.
636
00:25:08,332 --> 00:25:10,073
[ Cheers and applause ]
637
00:25:10,117 --> 00:25:11,553
Huzzah.
638
00:25:11,597 --> 00:25:15,122
[ Cheers and applause ]
639
00:25:15,165 --> 00:25:19,648
Next up, the faire's own
dirty pub wench,
640
00:25:19,692 --> 00:25:22,346
Ophelia Feelsgood!
641
00:25:22,390 --> 00:25:23,609
[ Cheers and applause ]
642
00:25:23,652 --> 00:25:26,046
-Come on, Ophelia!
-Whoo!
643
00:25:26,089 --> 00:25:29,049
Shut up.
644
00:25:29,092 --> 00:25:32,356
I'm so glad to be participating
in this event,
645
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:33,967
because I love
participating in events
646
00:25:34,010 --> 00:25:37,536
where women
support other women.
647
00:25:37,579 --> 00:25:39,668
Show us your tits!
648
00:25:39,712 --> 00:25:42,062
[ Cheers and applause ]
649
00:25:45,935 --> 00:25:48,372
Yo, band nerds,
drop a beat.
650
00:25:48,416 --> 00:25:51,245
[ Lively folk music playing ]
651
00:25:51,288 --> 00:25:53,682
-What's happening?
-Women supporting women?
652
00:25:53,726 --> 00:25:55,684
Huh? Whoa.
[ Screaming ]
653
00:25:55,728 --> 00:25:57,468
[ Cheers and applause ]
654
00:25:57,512 --> 00:26:04,911
♪♪
655
00:26:04,954 --> 00:26:07,348
Whoo!
656
00:26:07,391 --> 00:26:10,003
-Oh.
-Yas!
657
00:26:10,046 --> 00:26:11,874
Whoo!
658
00:26:11,918 --> 00:26:19,578
♪♪
659
00:26:19,621 --> 00:26:23,538
[ Cheers and applause ]
660
00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:27,411
Now, folks, that surely
is worth a bid.
661
00:26:27,455 --> 00:26:29,544
I bid a shepherd's pie
662
00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:31,154
and my ax!
663
00:26:31,198 --> 00:26:32,329
Only?
664
00:26:32,373 --> 00:26:33,504
[ Lisping ]
My ovaries.
665
00:26:33,548 --> 00:26:35,898
A grande
iced mochachino!
666
00:26:35,942 --> 00:26:37,204
A bucket of dead skin!
667
00:26:37,247 --> 00:26:38,422
Thick stick!
668
00:26:38,466 --> 00:26:39,728
A dozen sheep!
669
00:26:39,772 --> 00:26:41,512
Some of 'em with four legs.
670
00:26:41,556 --> 00:26:43,166
You can do better than that,
Pizzle.
671
00:26:43,210 --> 00:26:45,908
And tat for two
from Zabar's.
672
00:26:45,952 --> 00:26:48,781
-Ooh.
-Stick.
673
00:26:48,824 --> 00:26:50,652
A castle in France!
674
00:26:50,696 --> 00:26:54,134
Okay, we're done. Come on.[ Cheers and applause ]
675
00:26:54,177 --> 00:26:57,746
Sold!
[ Laughs ]
676
00:26:57,790 --> 00:27:00,314
Let's go.You're taking this
too seriously, Morgan.
677
00:27:00,357 --> 00:27:02,446
Oh, really? You were just
mock-sold for sex. Okay?
678
00:27:02,490 --> 00:27:04,013
So, you're welcome, B-T-dubs,
for making it stop.
679
00:27:04,057 --> 00:27:05,885
Obviously,
it was just for fun.
680
00:27:05,928 --> 00:27:07,538
Well, what if a bunch
of little girls saw you?
681
00:27:07,582 --> 00:27:08,670
What kind of message
are you sending?
682
00:27:08,714 --> 00:27:10,454
Maybe if little girls
saw me,
683
00:27:10,498 --> 00:27:12,543
they would see that it isn't
negative to be sexual.
684
00:27:12,587 --> 00:27:14,023
There's a difference
between being sexual
685
00:27:14,067 --> 00:27:15,677
and being sexualized.
686
00:27:15,721 --> 00:27:20,290
Fair maiden, you were
positively fantastic.
687
00:27:20,334 --> 00:27:22,902
We always present this
to our favorite at the auction.
688
00:27:22,945 --> 00:27:25,382
-Uh-oh.
-And you were far and away
689
00:27:25,426 --> 00:27:27,254
the --
drumroll, please --
690
00:27:27,297 --> 00:27:29,169
[ Both imitate drumroll ]
691
00:27:29,212 --> 00:27:31,301
-Wenchiest Wench!
-Wenchiest Wench!
692
00:27:31,345 --> 00:27:33,652
Oh.[ Both imitating fanfare ]
693
00:27:33,695 --> 00:27:36,089
Oh, no. Oh, wow.
694
00:27:36,132 --> 00:27:37,960
[ Both continue
imitating fanfare ]
695
00:27:38,004 --> 00:27:39,701
[ Sighs ]
Guys.
696
00:27:39,745 --> 00:27:41,137
[ Chuckles ]
697
00:27:41,181 --> 00:27:43,487
Thank you so much.
698
00:27:43,531 --> 00:27:47,100
[ Chuckles ]
699
00:27:47,143 --> 00:27:49,363
You're not really gonna
wear that thing.
700
00:27:49,406 --> 00:27:51,931
Oh, Morgan,
can you just relax?
701
00:27:51,974 --> 00:27:54,281
"Just relax"? [ Scoffs ]
Wow. What a privileged concept.
702
00:27:54,324 --> 00:27:55,717
Yeah, I wish
I could just relax,
703
00:27:55,761 --> 00:27:57,501
but unlike your horny,
little fantasy camp,
704
00:27:57,545 --> 00:28:02,028
the real world has consequences
for sexual harassment.
705
00:28:02,071 --> 00:28:05,118
Morgan's in the middle of
a lawsuit against her ex-boss.
706
00:28:05,161 --> 00:28:08,991
Yeah, he groped her.
A lot.
707
00:28:09,035 --> 00:28:11,472
Oh, my God.
Morgan, I'm -- I'm so sorry.
708
00:28:11,515 --> 00:28:13,692
-I had no idea.
-Exactly.
709
00:28:13,735 --> 00:28:15,694
Exactly. You have no idea
what anyoneis going through,
710
00:28:15,737 --> 00:28:18,697
yet you're 100% convinced
that all of this objectification
711
00:28:18,740 --> 00:28:21,612
and toxic masculinity
is just for fun, okay?
712
00:28:21,656 --> 00:28:23,658
So, yeah, go win Wenchiest Wench
for the patriarchy.
713
00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:25,660
-Or for losers like them.
-Hey!
714
00:28:25,704 --> 00:28:28,184
What? They are part of
the problem. Everyone here is.
715
00:28:28,228 --> 00:28:31,013
People like them,
anyone who comes here,
716
00:28:31,057 --> 00:28:33,233
can say what works
and what doesn't.
717
00:28:33,276 --> 00:28:35,278
I'm sorry
it's upsetting to you.
718
00:28:35,322 --> 00:28:37,367
And I'm sorry about what
you're going through, truly.
719
00:28:37,411 --> 00:28:38,760
But you can't take it out
720
00:28:38,804 --> 00:28:40,936
on good, kind people
like Bo and Jenny,
721
00:28:40,980 --> 00:28:43,809
who are trying to just get away
from the real world
722
00:28:43,852 --> 00:28:46,333
and find someplace where
they feel like they can belong.
723
00:28:48,683 --> 00:28:51,120
So...
724
00:28:51,164 --> 00:28:53,993
If you don't like it here,
then you should just leave.
725
00:28:58,911 --> 00:29:01,000
[ Scoffs ]
726
00:29:01,043 --> 00:29:03,393
I don't even know
who you are right now.
727
00:29:03,437 --> 00:29:05,961
God. What the hell am I gonna
tell your mother?
728
00:29:06,005 --> 00:29:07,702
Why do you have
to tell her anything?
729
00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:13,099
-Did she send you here?
-It's -- She -- I --
730
00:29:13,142 --> 00:29:14,970
Would you guys have even
come if she hadn't?
731
00:29:15,014 --> 00:29:16,319
-Yes.
-Of course we would have.
732
00:29:16,363 --> 00:29:19,192
-She lent us her 'Cedes.
-Oh, stop it.
733
00:29:19,235 --> 00:29:22,325
♪♪
734
00:29:22,369 --> 00:29:25,502
Listen, I --
I love you, Amanda.
735
00:29:25,546 --> 00:29:28,201
I do.
I really do, okay?
736
00:29:28,244 --> 00:29:30,333
But this?
737
00:29:30,377 --> 00:29:33,293
I can't.
738
00:29:33,336 --> 00:29:36,600
-Hello?
-Okay.
739
00:29:36,644 --> 00:29:38,864
Look, you should totally
bone that jouster.
740
00:29:38,907 --> 00:29:40,822
And if he's good,
just give him my number.
741
00:29:40,866 --> 00:29:42,432
-Mm-hmm.
-He reads bi.
742
00:29:42,476 --> 00:29:44,347
[ Chuckles ]
743
00:29:44,391 --> 00:29:46,610
I like dressing slutty.
744
00:29:46,654 --> 00:29:49,788
Love you, Amanda.
745
00:29:49,831 --> 00:29:52,399
[ Man shouting
indistinctly in distance ]
746
00:29:52,442 --> 00:29:54,531
[ Cheers and applause
in distance ]
747
00:29:54,575 --> 00:29:59,101
♪♪
748
00:29:59,145 --> 00:29:59,232
O0 C1
749
00:29:59,275 --> 00:30:01,625
[ Muttering indistinctly ]
750
00:30:04,933 --> 00:30:06,543
[ Sobs ]
751
00:30:06,587 --> 00:30:08,632
Should I text him?
I should text him, right?
752
00:30:08,676 --> 00:30:10,765
Actually, I think it's time
to move on.
753
00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:13,942
Oh, how wise.
It is time to move on.
754
00:30:13,986 --> 00:30:16,249
No, it's time
for usto move on
755
00:30:16,292 --> 00:30:18,033
to the next stop
on the Pub Crawl.
756
00:30:18,077 --> 00:30:20,035
We paid 60 bucks
for this.
757
00:30:20,079 --> 00:30:21,689
-Fine.
-Bye.
758
00:30:21,732 --> 00:30:23,386
Fair thee well.
759
00:30:23,430 --> 00:30:24,953
Rest you merry.
760
00:30:24,997 --> 00:30:26,607
Mm...
761
00:30:29,479 --> 00:30:32,004
Oh, whoa, whoa,
whoa, okay.
762
00:30:32,047 --> 00:30:34,136
I think you've had enough,
Your Highness. Let's trade.
763
00:30:34,180 --> 00:30:35,659
Ah, Lee.
764
00:30:35,703 --> 00:30:37,879
Lee, Lee.
765
00:30:37,923 --> 00:30:41,100
What is this life, huh?
766
00:30:41,143 --> 00:30:44,494
You and me know the truth,
right?
767
00:30:44,538 --> 00:30:45,756
What's that, Maggie?
768
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:49,021
The truth is
that we're all alone.
769
00:30:49,064 --> 00:30:51,371
We'll always be alone.
770
00:30:51,414 --> 00:30:52,981
God is dead.
771
00:31:00,510 --> 00:31:02,208
-Uh...
-Mm?
772
00:31:04,950 --> 00:31:06,777
Maggie...
773
00:31:09,476 --> 00:31:11,782
...I love you.
Truly.
774
00:31:11,826 --> 00:31:13,828
I've always thought
you were beautiful and dark
775
00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:16,875
and deliciously
complicated.
776
00:31:16,918 --> 00:31:18,224
And hearing
that you're lonely like me
777
00:31:18,267 --> 00:31:21,488
just makes me
love you more.
778
00:31:21,531 --> 00:31:22,924
I think you're
the perfect woman.
779
00:31:22,968 --> 00:31:24,317
And you're drunk right now,
780
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:28,234
so I don't want this
to get all rapey, but...
781
00:31:28,277 --> 00:31:30,714
I wish
you were my girlfriend.
782
00:31:36,764 --> 00:31:37,852
[ Vomiting ]
783
00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:39,332
Oh!
784
00:31:44,119 --> 00:31:46,034
-[ Mutters indistinctly ]
-Is she okay?
785
00:31:46,078 --> 00:31:47,818
Yeah, just very,
very drunk.
786
00:31:47,862 --> 00:31:52,432
I have to go
numbers 1, 2, and 3.
787
00:31:52,475 --> 00:31:54,956
-I'll take her from here.
-Yep.
788
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,567
-Do I look pretty?
-Yes, dear.
789
00:31:57,611 --> 00:31:59,743
Would you believe me
if I told you I was in my 30s?
790
00:31:59,787 --> 00:32:02,007
-Yes, dear.
-Do you think Daniel Day-Lewis
791
00:32:02,050 --> 00:32:04,879
wore his Lincoln hat
while he slept and showered?
792
00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:06,098
Yes, dear.
793
00:32:06,141 --> 00:32:07,621
You're my best friend.
794
00:32:07,664 --> 00:32:09,275
Yep.
795
00:32:09,318 --> 00:32:11,842
♪♪
796
00:32:11,886 --> 00:32:14,497
[ Guitar tuning ]
797
00:32:14,541 --> 00:32:18,240
[ Indistinct conversations ]
798
00:32:18,284 --> 00:32:20,286
I know, I know --
I'm drinking again.
799
00:32:20,329 --> 00:32:23,898
But if you would refrain from
mentioning anything about that,
800
00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:25,769
that would be
very much appreciated.
801
00:32:25,813 --> 00:32:27,858
Actually, I was going to say
I'm impressed.
802
00:32:27,902 --> 00:32:29,556
Drinking discount
cooler beer?
803
00:32:29,599 --> 00:32:30,949
Very un-city-lady of you.
804
00:32:30,992 --> 00:32:33,342
So now you give me credit.
805
00:32:33,386 --> 00:32:35,083
Finally.
806
00:32:35,127 --> 00:32:38,130
[ Sighs ]
807
00:32:38,173 --> 00:32:40,001
Tough day?
808
00:32:40,045 --> 00:32:42,699
My lady friends are a lot.
809
00:32:42,743 --> 00:32:44,701
-Spence or Brearley?
-Spence?
810
00:32:44,745 --> 00:32:47,139
[ British accent ]
How very dare you?
811
00:32:47,182 --> 00:32:49,141
[ Normal voice ] Brearley.
Wait, how did you know that?
812
00:32:49,184 --> 00:32:51,056
Oh, I'm from the city.
813
00:32:51,099 --> 00:32:52,840
Shut up!
814
00:32:52,883 --> 00:32:54,842
-What?!
-You shut up.
815
00:32:54,885 --> 00:32:56,757
Wh-Where?
Where are you from?
816
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:57,976
Wait, no, let me guess,
let me guess,
817
00:32:58,019 --> 00:33:00,456
let me guess.
Okay, okay, okay. Mm...
818
00:33:00,500 --> 00:33:03,285
Lower East Side, artist parents?Unh-unh. No.
819
00:33:03,329 --> 00:33:04,373
Upper West Side,
820
00:33:04,417 --> 00:33:05,418
-journalist parents?
-No.
821
00:33:05,461 --> 00:33:06,897
No? Okay. Uh...
822
00:33:06,941 --> 00:33:09,683
Greenpoint,
Polish bakers?
823
00:33:09,726 --> 00:33:11,250
[ Imitates buzzer ]
824
00:33:11,293 --> 00:33:13,774
-Chelsea, two dads?
-[ Laughing ] No.
825
00:33:13,817 --> 00:33:15,471
Where are you from?Hey, dude,
why didn't you bid on me?
826
00:33:15,515 --> 00:33:17,778
Only one chick
dressed like Shrek bid on me.
827
00:33:17,821 --> 00:33:19,562
-It was humiliating.
-I'm sorry, man.
828
00:33:19,606 --> 00:33:21,912
But I'm sure that you're gonna
make a very handsome couple.
829
00:33:21,956 --> 00:33:25,177
-[ Laughs ]
-Well...
830
00:33:25,220 --> 00:33:27,005
You r-really
hurt me today.
831
00:33:29,268 --> 00:33:32,053
Oh, man, he is
a delicate flower.
832
00:33:32,097 --> 00:33:33,533
Your friends
are a handful, too.
833
00:33:33,576 --> 00:33:35,056
Ah,
he's just showing off.
834
00:33:35,100 --> 00:33:37,798
He likes to prove
he has feelings.
835
00:33:37,841 --> 00:33:40,192
-Hey, you want another beer?
-Uh-huh.
836
00:33:40,235 --> 00:33:43,064
The more discount,
the better.
837
00:33:43,108 --> 00:33:44,805
I miss you
in the hot tub, baby.
838
00:33:44,848 --> 00:33:47,155
Hot tub?
Who's got a hot tub?
839
00:33:47,199 --> 00:33:48,852
It's hitched
to Helen's bus.
840
00:33:48,896 --> 00:33:50,419
I heard she bought it
off the tour manager
841
00:33:50,463 --> 00:33:52,247
for Country-Palooza.
842
00:33:52,291 --> 00:33:54,902
Your mom must be hella rich.
843
00:33:54,945 --> 00:33:56,947
[ Laughter, cheering
in distance ]
844
00:33:56,991 --> 00:33:59,037
Okay, new rule, guys.
You can only soak in the Jacuzzi
845
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:01,474
if you're butt-ass naked.
846
00:34:01,517 --> 00:34:04,259
-Cool.
-Ohh, about to get so naked.
847
00:34:04,303 --> 00:34:06,870
[ Both laughing ]
848
00:34:06,914 --> 00:34:10,613
Indeed. Very cool.
849
00:34:10,657 --> 00:34:13,747
Yeah, that's all on you.
That's you. Okay.
850
00:34:13,790 --> 00:34:15,357
David: Damn, that's a lot
of man titties.
851
00:34:15,401 --> 00:34:17,098
-That's cool.
-Whoo!
852
00:34:17,142 --> 00:34:20,710
[ All cheering, laughing ]
853
00:34:20,754 --> 00:34:22,016
Helen:
Are you farting?
854
00:34:22,060 --> 00:34:24,714
-Wine?
-God, yes.
855
00:34:24,758 --> 00:34:28,631
Can't go wring with
a Willamette Valley Pinot.
856
00:34:28,675 --> 00:34:31,982
[ Helen speaking indistinctly
in distance ]
857
00:34:32,026 --> 00:34:34,028
-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm. Ah.
858
00:34:36,465 --> 00:34:37,814
[ Glasses clink ]
859
00:34:40,904 --> 00:34:42,602
Mmm.
860
00:34:44,865 --> 00:34:47,128
What brings Shakespeare
down to the Groundlings
861
00:34:47,172 --> 00:34:50,523
-without his Royal --
-Do not say hag.
862
00:34:50,566 --> 00:34:54,135
-Not nice.
-I was gonna say therapy dog.
863
00:34:54,179 --> 00:34:55,876
She's passed out.
864
00:34:55,919 --> 00:34:58,748
Got absolutely wasted
on the Pub Crawl today.
865
00:34:58,792 --> 00:35:01,795
Oh, wow. That's --
866
00:35:01,838 --> 00:35:04,711
That's kind of amazing.
867
00:35:04,754 --> 00:35:07,148
She was not very helpful
to me today
868
00:35:07,192 --> 00:35:09,107
as a friend.
869
00:35:09,150 --> 00:35:10,804
You okay?
870
00:35:21,554 --> 00:35:23,425
-There's a guy.
-Mm?
871
00:35:23,469 --> 00:35:26,167
Juan Andrés.
872
00:35:26,211 --> 00:35:29,562
And I like him.
873
00:35:29,605 --> 00:35:31,303
Mm. You guys would be
great together.
874
00:35:31,346 --> 00:35:33,218
What's the game plan?
875
00:35:33,261 --> 00:35:35,655
-The game plan?
-Yeah, what's next steps?
876
00:35:35,698 --> 00:35:39,354
Well, I made a fool of myself
in front of him twice today,
877
00:35:39,398 --> 00:35:40,921
so I think my next step
878
00:35:40,964 --> 00:35:43,358
is to dig a hole
and go to sleep in it.
879
00:35:43,402 --> 00:35:45,665
Oh, come on.
It can't be that bad.
880
00:35:45,708 --> 00:35:48,755
I fear that it really,
really was.
881
00:35:48,798 --> 00:35:50,191
Oh.
882
00:35:52,541 --> 00:35:54,761
♪♪
883
00:35:54,804 --> 00:35:58,025
Then you got to
go fix it. Mm?
884
00:35:58,068 --> 00:36:00,070
-Now?
-Yes, now.
885
00:36:00,114 --> 00:36:03,639
We get so caught up
in our own limitations,
886
00:36:03,683 --> 00:36:06,425
how we think
we're supposed to be,
887
00:36:06,468 --> 00:36:08,209
how people want us to be,
888
00:36:08,253 --> 00:36:11,691
but this place is teaching me
to live in the now.
889
00:36:11,734 --> 00:36:13,562
You got to be present.
890
00:36:13,606 --> 00:36:15,216
-Be in the now.
-Yeah.
891
00:36:15,260 --> 00:36:16,522
-Yes!
-Yes!
892
00:36:16,565 --> 00:36:18,567
You got to go get him!
893
00:36:18,611 --> 00:36:20,482
-Yes!
-Yes. Go ask him out!
894
00:36:20,526 --> 00:36:22,049
Wow.
895
00:36:22,092 --> 00:36:23,920
Right.
896
00:36:23,964 --> 00:36:25,357
-Okay. Okay.
-Uh-huh.
897
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:26,923
[ Laughs ]
898
00:36:26,967 --> 00:36:28,229
-Go!
-Wish me luck.
899
00:36:28,273 --> 00:36:30,536
G-Go get yours, Tiger.
900
00:36:30,579 --> 00:36:33,191
♪♪
901
00:36:33,234 --> 00:36:35,236
[ Sighs ]
902
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:41,982
♪♪
903
00:36:42,025 --> 00:36:48,641
♪♪
904
00:36:48,684 --> 00:36:55,256
♪♪
905
00:36:58,259 --> 00:37:04,091
♪♪
906
00:37:04,134 --> 00:37:09,879
♪♪
907
00:37:09,923 --> 00:37:11,838
Hi, there.
908
00:37:11,881 --> 00:37:13,579
Hello, Juan Andrés.
909
00:37:13,622 --> 00:37:15,581
I just came by to tell you
910
00:37:15,624 --> 00:37:20,063
that I'm really very sorry
about today,
911
00:37:20,107 --> 00:37:24,242
and that the reason I was
acting like such a jackass
912
00:37:24,285 --> 00:37:28,550
is that I, uh --
913
00:37:28,594 --> 00:37:31,205
I'd like to...
914
00:37:31,249 --> 00:37:34,295
be your friend.
915
00:37:34,339 --> 00:37:37,298
Would you maybe
like to be my friend
916
00:37:37,342 --> 00:37:39,561
and hang out
with me sometime?
917
00:37:41,694 --> 00:37:43,696
I'm watching
"Seven Samurai."
918
00:37:43,739 --> 00:37:45,306
Want to join?
919
00:37:47,961 --> 00:37:49,484
Yes.
920
00:37:49,528 --> 00:37:50,659
Sure.
921
00:37:50,703 --> 00:37:52,226
I -- Right now?
922
00:37:52,270 --> 00:37:54,315
-Yes. Now.
-Okay. Yeah, I'm -- I'm free.
923
00:37:54,359 --> 00:37:55,751
Yeah.
924
00:37:55,795 --> 00:37:57,927
Here you go.
925
00:37:57,971 --> 00:37:59,451
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
926
00:37:59,494 --> 00:38:00,582
Okay.
927
00:38:00,626 --> 00:38:01,801
Such a classic.
928
00:38:01,844 --> 00:38:03,629
Sucha classic.
929
00:38:03,672 --> 00:38:06,153
I love classics.
930
00:38:06,196 --> 00:38:09,461
Toshiro Mifune. I like him
even better in "Rashomon."
931
00:38:09,504 --> 00:38:10,766
-Oh, yes.
-Yeah.
932
00:38:10,810 --> 00:38:13,856
Yes.
933
00:38:13,900 --> 00:38:16,685
Actually, I've
never seen either.
934
00:38:16,729 --> 00:38:19,471
Are they, uh, good?
[ Chuckles ]
935
00:38:19,514 --> 00:38:21,473
[ Chuckles ]
So good.
936
00:38:21,516 --> 00:38:23,736
Akira Kurosawa?
You'd dig him.
937
00:38:23,779 --> 00:38:25,564
"Throne of Blood"
owes a ton to "Macbeth,"
938
00:38:25,607 --> 00:38:28,393
and "Ran" is "King Lear,"
beat for beat.
939
00:38:28,436 --> 00:38:30,873
"King Lear's" my favorite.
940
00:38:30,917 --> 00:38:33,789
I'd do it at the faire, but it's
not exactly a crowd pleaser.
941
00:38:33,833 --> 00:38:35,313
-Mm.
-If I had a nickel
942
00:38:35,356 --> 00:38:37,227
for every time
I had to perform,
943
00:38:37,271 --> 00:38:40,970
"But soft, what light
through yonder window breaks?"
944
00:38:41,014 --> 00:38:44,147
"Romeo, Romeo,
wherefore art thou Romeo?"
945
00:38:44,191 --> 00:38:45,975
[ Both laugh ]
946
00:38:46,019 --> 00:38:47,325
Of course, they all
think that means,
947
00:38:47,368 --> 00:38:49,588
"Where are you, Romeo?"
when it really means...
948
00:38:49,631 --> 00:38:51,677
-Why are you Romeo?
-Why are you Romeo?
949
00:39:08,563 --> 00:39:11,261
Brian?
950
00:39:11,305 --> 00:39:12,611
Yes?
951
00:39:12,654 --> 00:39:15,396
I was so nervous
around you today.
952
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:17,180
[ Chuckles ]
953
00:39:17,224 --> 00:39:20,270
I was nervous around you.
954
00:39:20,314 --> 00:39:23,839
Every time I saw you,
I got all weird and quiet.
955
00:39:23,883 --> 00:39:25,885
I didn't know what to say.
956
00:39:25,928 --> 00:39:28,888
Uh, I made a joke
about Hitler.
957
00:39:28,931 --> 00:39:31,804
I mean, you kind of actually
called meHitler.
958
00:39:31,847 --> 00:39:35,242
[ Both laugh ]
959
00:39:35,285 --> 00:39:40,769
Well, I'm really happy
that we're friends now.
960
00:39:40,813 --> 00:39:43,250
I have enough friends.
961
00:39:46,558 --> 00:39:56,437
♪♪
962
00:39:56,481 --> 00:39:58,831
[ Horse snorting ]
963
00:39:58,874 --> 00:40:04,967
♪♪
964
00:40:22,245 --> 00:40:24,378
-Hey.
-Hey.
965
00:40:29,383 --> 00:40:31,254
[ Grunts, sighs ]
966
00:40:33,039 --> 00:40:36,912
[ Rooster crows ]
967
00:40:36,956 --> 00:40:39,132
[ Smooches ]
968
00:40:43,615 --> 00:40:45,268
That's right.
969
00:40:47,662 --> 00:40:51,187
So, I'm gonna go?
970
00:40:51,231 --> 00:40:54,060
Whatever.
No pressure.
971
00:40:54,103 --> 00:40:55,844
[ Horse snorts ]
972
00:40:55,888 --> 00:40:57,455
Yeah.
973
00:40:57,498 --> 00:40:59,108
No pressure.
974
00:41:01,981 --> 00:41:04,418
Living in the now.
975
00:41:04,462 --> 00:41:06,464
Hey, Ananda?
976
00:41:06,507 --> 00:41:10,598
It's Amanda.
977
00:41:10,642 --> 00:41:13,166
Nice fucking.
978
00:41:13,209 --> 00:41:17,170
Yeah. Nice fucking.
979
00:41:17,213 --> 00:41:19,041
Ooh.
980
00:41:19,085 --> 00:41:23,568
♪♪
981
00:41:23,611 --> 00:41:25,439
Ooh.
982
00:41:25,483 --> 00:41:30,400
♪♪
983
00:41:30,444 --> 00:41:33,534
[ Indistinct conversations ]
984
00:41:33,578 --> 00:41:35,667
[ Cellphone ringing ]
985
00:41:37,843 --> 00:41:39,540
[ Sighs ]
986
00:41:39,584 --> 00:41:41,281
[ Cellphone beeps ]
987
00:41:41,324 --> 00:41:43,544
Mom, I know what you did.
988
00:41:43,588 --> 00:41:45,677
How could you send my friends?
989
00:41:45,720 --> 00:41:47,330
Seriously?
Nice one.
990
00:41:47,374 --> 00:41:49,637
Amanda, it's Erin.
991
00:41:49,681 --> 00:41:52,858
Mom O.D.'d.
Get your ass home.
992
00:41:52,901 --> 00:41:55,382
♪♪
993
00:41:58,603 --> 00:42:06,698
O0 C1♪♪
994
00:42:06,741 --> 00:42:14,923
♪♪
995
00:42:14,967 --> 00:42:23,062
♪♪
69602
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