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1
00:00:29,241 --> 00:00:31,134
Hey, good morning, Lynette.
2
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How's the cult going? Has it turned yet,
3
00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,483
or are you guys still in
the peace and love phase?
4
00:00:35,508 --> 00:00:36,807
- Nice one, Jack.
- Thank you.
5
00:00:36,832 --> 00:00:38,926
But just so you know, you
are the one that's blowing it.
6
00:00:38,950 --> 00:00:41,351
- How so?
- Spirit week.
7
00:00:41,376 --> 00:00:43,894
- It's 70's day. We play Prairie tomorrow.
- _
8
00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:45,817
Okay, so you're doing a
whole new look just because
9
00:00:45,841 --> 00:00:48,240
of a stupid school rivalry. Why?
10
00:00:48,265 --> 00:00:50,500
Basic idea is that it's fun.
11
00:00:50,525 --> 00:00:52,872
Also, to be honest, I really
hope we beat them by a lot,
12
00:00:52,897 --> 00:00:55,142
and hope their bus
crashes into the swamp.
13
00:00:55,167 --> 00:00:57,777
Gosh, it must be exhausting
pretending to care about stuff.
14
00:00:57,802 --> 00:00:59,493
Nope. Not exhausting at all.
15
00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:00,964
Suck it Prairie!
16
00:01:00,989 --> 00:01:02,949
Oh, suck it Prairie!
17
00:01:02,974 --> 00:01:04,500
- Yeah!
- Oh, this guy.
18
00:01:04,525 --> 00:01:07,727
Jack, happy Spirit Week. My
favorite week of the year...
19
00:01:07,752 --> 00:01:09,282
oh, well, it would be
20
00:01:09,307 --> 00:01:11,610
if we can just beat
the Prairie Rams once
21
00:01:11,635 --> 00:01:13,401
- during my regime.
- Wait, wait, wait.
22
00:01:13,426 --> 00:01:14,641
- They're the Rams too?
- Yeah.
23
00:01:14,666 --> 00:01:16,171
That's why it's called the Ram Cup,
24
00:01:16,196 --> 00:01:17,629
as I was telling you last night.
25
00:01:17,935 --> 00:01:19,201
Right, right. Speaking of,
26
00:01:19,226 --> 00:01:20,890
thanks for helping
move my old fridge out.
27
00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:22,281
I really appreciate that. Yeah.
28
00:01:22,306 --> 00:01:24,539
And your delts are thanking you as well.
29
00:01:24,564 --> 00:01:27,216
- Really?
- Yeah. Yeah.
30
00:01:27,241 --> 00:01:28,708
Uh-oh.
31
00:01:28,733 --> 00:01:31,267
Well, you know, anytime
you need an old appliance
32
00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:32,911
moved to the curb, you let me know,
33
00:01:32,936 --> 00:01:36,471
or we could go to the gym and you know,
34
00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:37,696
lift weights for real.
35
00:01:37,721 --> 00:01:38,950
That could be cool,
36
00:01:38,975 --> 00:01:42,638
- assuming no one there is mean.
- Right, right.
37
00:01:42,663 --> 00:01:43,935
Hey, since you offered,
38
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:46,458
I do need some help
moving in my new fridge.
39
00:01:46,483 --> 00:01:48,416
All I require is my usual payment
40
00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,882
of 2.5 beers and a full sesh of B.S..
41
00:01:50,907 --> 00:01:52,547
You got it, pal. Thank you.
42
00:01:52,572 --> 00:01:55,157
Oh, and don't forget about
my birthday dinner tonight,
43
00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:57,538
7:00 p.m. sharp at Mancy's.
44
00:01:57,563 --> 00:01:59,782
Oh, yes, that's right. Yeah, tonight.
45
00:01:59,807 --> 00:02:01,345
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay. Yeah. Okay.
46
00:02:06,657 --> 00:02:08,056
Hi, birthday boy.
47
00:02:08,081 --> 00:02:09,778
Don't make a big deal out of it, okay?
48
00:02:10,453 --> 00:02:11,930
I wouldn't go in there
49
00:02:11,955 --> 00:02:13,622
if I were you.
50
00:02:13,647 --> 00:02:15,380
Oh, my God.
51
00:02:15,405 --> 00:02:17,706
Okay. Mm-hmm.
52
00:02:17,731 --> 00:02:21,014
Guys, you did not have
to do this. I am very...
53
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:23,518
Blessed.
54
00:02:24,173 --> 00:02:26,862
Oh God, no, please, Helen.
55
00:02:26,887 --> 00:02:29,099
You were supposed to keep people out.
56
00:02:29,124 --> 00:02:30,722
Oh God, don't look at me.
57
00:02:30,747 --> 00:02:33,318
Don't look at my body!
58
00:02:33,343 --> 00:02:36,431
He came in fifth in the
snow crab eating contest.
59
00:02:36,456 --> 00:02:38,632
Turns out all the
snow crabs were rotten.
60
00:02:38,634 --> 00:02:40,719
Helen, why did you tell
me not to come in here
61
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,409
in such a sing-song-y voice?
62
00:02:42,434 --> 00:02:43,768
I don't know, maybe it's 'cause
63
00:02:43,793 --> 00:02:45,851
you're my favorite person
in the whole wide world.
64
00:02:46,795 --> 00:02:49,185
I wouldn't look in that garbage can
65
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,178
behind you if I were you.
66
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:53,313
Fine.
67
00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:58,670
Someone's a little dense.
68
00:02:59,427 --> 00:03:00,990
- Ugh!
- Oh!
69
00:03:06,578 --> 00:03:08,578
♪ A.P. Bio 2x12 ♪
Ride the Ram
70
00:03:08,603 --> 00:03:13,603
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
71
00:03:22,611 --> 00:03:26,245
Shh.
72
00:03:31,909 --> 00:03:32,975
Huh.
73
00:03:33,128 --> 00:03:34,995
Today, guys, I need excuses I can use
74
00:03:35,020 --> 00:03:36,289
to ditch a birthday party.
75
00:03:36,291 --> 00:03:38,458
Just tell your mom there
will be drugs at the party.
76
00:03:38,483 --> 00:03:40,082
Then your mom will call their mom
77
00:03:40,107 --> 00:03:42,475
- and it'll get canceled.
- That was you?
78
00:03:42,911 --> 00:03:44,678
You could say you are memorizing
79
00:03:44,703 --> 00:03:46,759
portions of the Torah for a bar mitzvah.
80
00:03:46,784 --> 00:03:48,018
Mm, mm-hmm.
81
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:50,580
Again, guys, this
would be me saying this,
82
00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:51,892
an adult Gentile.
83
00:03:52,592 --> 00:03:54,359
So, I actually use
this one all the time.
84
00:03:54,384 --> 00:03:56,121
So you pour a glass
of water on your shoes
85
00:03:56,146 --> 00:03:58,081
and then you tell people
that your sister's water broke
86
00:03:58,105 --> 00:03:59,205
right before you got there,
87
00:03:59,230 --> 00:04:00,714
and they'll be like,
"Well, why don't you
88
00:04:00,738 --> 00:04:02,581
go be there with her at the hospital?"
89
00:04:02,606 --> 00:04:03,840
And then you jet, baby.
90
00:04:05,219 --> 00:04:08,020
Hmm, interesting. Uh, anyone else?
91
00:04:08,045 --> 00:04:09,611
Mr. G, whose party is it?
92
00:04:09,636 --> 00:04:11,595
So, Durbin helped move
my fridge the other day,
93
00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:12,653
and he's leveraging that
94
00:04:12,678 --> 00:04:14,779
into a forced appearance
at his birthday thing.
95
00:04:15,001 --> 00:04:16,299
He helped you move your fridge?
96
00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:17,590
- Mm-hmm.
- And furthermore,
97
00:04:17,615 --> 00:04:19,049
he's inviting you to a party?
98
00:04:19,074 --> 00:04:20,541
That's two good things:
99
00:04:20,772 --> 00:04:22,672
moving the fridge as one
100
00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:24,830
and an invitation to a party as two.
101
00:04:25,496 --> 00:04:26,526
Two good things.
102
00:04:26,551 --> 00:04:28,618
You have to go if he helped
you move your fridge.
103
00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,111
Yeah, okay. All right,
I get it, I get it.
104
00:04:30,135 --> 00:04:31,201
Thank you.
105
00:04:31,226 --> 00:04:32,863
All right, well, I guess I gotta
106
00:04:32,888 --> 00:04:34,388
at least make an appearance, you know?
107
00:04:34,412 --> 00:04:35,799
Especially since I need his help moving
108
00:04:35,823 --> 00:04:37,456
my new fridge in tomorrow.
109
00:04:38,122 --> 00:04:40,236
Ah, let's see. Sarika, make a list
110
00:04:40,261 --> 00:04:42,594
of reasons to leave
Durbin's stupid party early.
111
00:04:42,619 --> 00:04:44,852
All right, everybody call
out those reasons again.
112
00:04:44,877 --> 00:04:46,578
Uh, there's the drug one,
113
00:04:46,946 --> 00:04:48,746
the Jewish one...
114
00:04:48,771 --> 00:04:50,095
Just sit regular and it'll be fine.
115
00:04:50,097 --> 00:04:51,162
And...
116
00:04:51,187 --> 00:04:53,442
Well, we did our part to win
the Spirit Week blood drive.
117
00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:55,911
You know, if we won,
it'd make Durbin so happy.
118
00:04:55,936 --> 00:04:57,936
Plus, we got these free cookies.
119
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,524
It's so much fun to
spoil Durbs once a year.
120
00:05:01,549 --> 00:05:03,627
I spent the last three
months working on a banner
121
00:05:03,652 --> 00:05:05,819
for the basketball game.
I hope he likes it.
122
00:05:05,844 --> 00:05:07,043
- Oh!
- Nice. Unrelated:
123
00:05:07,068 --> 00:05:09,959
I found us three
Barbara Streisand tickets.
124
00:05:09,984 --> 00:05:11,258
- Oh!
- Eh, eh.
125
00:05:11,283 --> 00:05:14,119
I won't seat above mezzanine.
I plan on dancing big
126
00:05:14,144 --> 00:05:15,479
and I don't need some Mom telling me
127
00:05:15,503 --> 00:05:17,690
that I'm blocking the
view for her sick son.
128
00:05:17,715 --> 00:05:19,648
Em, I think that was a one-time thing.
129
00:05:19,673 --> 00:05:22,367
- Yeah?
- Oh, shoot, my phone is dying.
130
00:05:22,392 --> 00:05:23,992
- Oh, plug it in!
- It's okay.
131
00:05:24,017 --> 00:05:26,141
- Go.
- We have got to see this.
132
00:05:26,166 --> 00:05:27,440
- Mm-hmm.
- I can't believe the Mom
133
00:05:27,464 --> 00:05:29,865
from "Meet the Fockers"
is gonna try and sing.
134
00:05:29,890 --> 00:05:31,572
Sorry, classroom TV.
135
00:05:33,473 --> 00:05:34,506
What up?
136
00:05:37,832 --> 00:05:40,099
Hi, I'm looking for the Durbin party.
137
00:05:40,124 --> 00:05:42,168
- Mr. Griffin?
- Yeah.
138
00:05:42,392 --> 00:05:43,948
So nice of you to show up.
139
00:05:43,950 --> 00:05:47,087
That sweet man has been
waiting for over an hour.
140
00:05:47,112 --> 00:05:48,145
Oh, no.
141
00:05:48,170 --> 00:05:49,485
Please tell me I'm not this late
142
00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:51,176
for a one-on-one birthday dinner.
143
00:05:51,324 --> 00:05:52,399
Yep.
144
00:05:53,427 --> 00:05:54,692
Agh.
145
00:05:57,995 --> 00:05:59,876
- Hi.
- Jack, you're here.
146
00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:01,689
Yeah, um, I made it.
147
00:06:01,714 --> 00:06:03,376
Thank you. Yeah, I'm so sorry I'm late.
148
00:06:03,401 --> 00:06:05,507
I, ah, I was um...
149
00:06:06,691 --> 00:06:08,190
I had to study the Torah.
150
00:06:08,192 --> 00:06:09,957
Oh, you are converting to Judaism?
151
00:06:09,982 --> 00:06:11,015
I had no idea.
152
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:12,895
Yeah, no, I'm... I'm
just considering it.
153
00:06:12,897 --> 00:06:14,797
You know, they want me pretty bad.
154
00:06:14,799 --> 00:06:16,508
- Well...
- Yeah.
155
00:06:17,135 --> 00:06:18,868
So is it really just you and me, man?
156
00:06:18,870 --> 00:06:20,069
Yeah, every year, for my birthday,
157
00:06:20,071 --> 00:06:21,498
I invite one friend
158
00:06:21,523 --> 00:06:23,573
so we can really talk, and this year,
159
00:06:23,875 --> 00:06:25,240
you are that friend.
160
00:06:25,242 --> 00:06:27,976
Well, I am honored.
161
00:06:27,978 --> 00:06:29,308
Can I get you started with anything?
162
00:06:29,332 --> 00:06:31,379
Yeah, no, I can be
probably be ready soon.
163
00:06:31,381 --> 00:06:32,662
Birthday boy, you want to go first?
164
00:06:32,686 --> 00:06:34,816
No, Jack, you go ahead.
I'm having surgery tomorrow,
165
00:06:34,818 --> 00:06:37,118
so I can't have any food after 8:00.
166
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:38,516
That's why I made the
reservation for 7:00.
167
00:06:38,540 --> 00:06:40,444
Oh, my God. You're
having surgery tomorrow?
168
00:06:40,469 --> 00:06:42,924
Super early. Reverse vasectomy.
169
00:06:42,926 --> 00:06:45,160
Kind of a birthday present for myself.
170
00:06:45,162 --> 00:06:47,162
Oh, gosh, everything you're saying
171
00:06:47,164 --> 00:06:48,429
is making me very sad.
172
00:06:48,431 --> 00:06:50,402
No, no, it should make you feel happy.
173
00:06:50,427 --> 00:06:52,734
- Oh.
- I'm reclaiming my virility.
174
00:06:53,837 --> 00:06:55,003
I'm gonna give you some more time.
175
00:06:55,005 --> 00:06:56,028
No. no, no.
176
00:06:56,053 --> 00:06:58,239
He is gonna have a ribeye and a martini.
177
00:06:58,241 --> 00:07:00,637
Nothing for me, of course.
At least I can see and smell
178
00:07:00,662 --> 00:07:03,845
and maybe touch my favorite meal.
179
00:07:03,847 --> 00:07:06,447
Oh, well... Okay.
180
00:07:06,449 --> 00:07:09,092
- Ah.
- So...
181
00:07:10,353 --> 00:07:11,853
What's in the bag?
182
00:07:12,582 --> 00:07:13,650
The b... Oh.
183
00:07:15,225 --> 00:07:16,557
Uh, that's your birthday present.
184
00:07:16,559 --> 00:07:17,591
What?
185
00:07:17,852 --> 00:07:19,852
Yeah. Yeah, I had to.
186
00:07:19,877 --> 00:07:21,395
Just from the bookstore
across the street.
187
00:07:21,397 --> 00:07:22,495
Jack.
188
00:07:25,268 --> 00:07:29,903
"A Bayesian Perspective on Queeny".
189
00:07:29,905 --> 00:07:31,338
- Quine.
- Quine.
190
00:07:31,340 --> 00:07:32,840
- Yeah. He was a philosopher.
- Oh!
191
00:07:32,842 --> 00:07:34,108
I just learned two things.
192
00:07:34,110 --> 00:07:35,610
I thought maybe you would love that.
193
00:07:35,876 --> 00:07:38,042
No one has ever given
me anything like this.
194
00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:40,300
- I cannot wait.
- Yeah...
195
00:07:40,325 --> 00:07:41,916
- I'm gonna save the bag.
- Cool.
196
00:07:42,865 --> 00:07:45,559
Ah, so... Yeah. Yeah.
197
00:07:59,235 --> 00:08:02,069
I got the Streisand tickets!
198
00:08:02,071 --> 00:08:04,037
Yes. Okay.
199
00:08:04,039 --> 00:08:06,039
All right.
200
00:08:09,978 --> 00:08:11,464
Oh no!
201
00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:14,861
That's gonna be some hot blood.
202
00:08:21,156 --> 00:08:24,666
- Ooh, that is cutting nice.
- It is. Ah, God.
203
00:08:24,893 --> 00:08:26,325
Are you sure you don't want a bite?
204
00:08:26,327 --> 00:08:28,322
Oh, I wish. It's too risky.
205
00:08:28,347 --> 00:08:30,480
It's only a couple of
hours before they re-doodle
206
00:08:30,505 --> 00:08:32,398
my noodle.
207
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,233
They're you gonna
tinker with your dinker.
208
00:08:34,235 --> 00:08:37,821
They are gonna let loose my baby juice!
209
00:08:37,846 --> 00:08:39,272
♪ Happy birthday to... ♪
210
00:08:41,109 --> 00:08:42,907
I'm sorry, sorry, sorry.
211
00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:46,341
I just... I can't believe I just
212
00:08:46,648 --> 00:08:48,915
talked about my junk to the wait staff.
213
00:08:49,183 --> 00:08:51,016
Here, let me make a wish.
214
00:08:51,018 --> 00:08:52,617
Hang on, no, it's still happened.
215
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,119
Here, you know what?
216
00:08:54,121 --> 00:08:56,321
You can thank my doodle
for this, 'cause I can't eat it.
217
00:08:59,359 --> 00:09:00,800
I heard the hicks from Prairie
218
00:09:00,825 --> 00:09:02,305
are gonna toilet paper Whitlock tonight.
219
00:09:02,329 --> 00:09:04,288
Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
220
00:09:04,313 --> 00:09:06,597
We should kidnap their
peppiest cheerleader
221
00:09:06,599 --> 00:09:08,266
and put her in a glass case.
222
00:09:08,268 --> 00:09:09,768
You guys talking about Prairie?
223
00:09:10,470 --> 00:09:12,705
I got mixed up with one
of those Prairie hicks.
224
00:09:13,207 --> 00:09:16,243
It was the summer. 2017.
225
00:09:17,780 --> 00:09:20,188
I met Chaz Gurd at 4-H.
226
00:09:20,213 --> 00:09:24,381
He had a pond... rowboat,
frogs, the whole deal.
227
00:09:24,383 --> 00:09:26,251
We skinny dipped in the moonlight
228
00:09:26,953 --> 00:09:28,855
and held each other as the black night
229
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:30,083
bore down upon us.
230
00:09:30,108 --> 00:09:31,763
Okay, we get it. All right.
231
00:09:37,964 --> 00:09:39,708
Guys, you are not gonna believe this.
232
00:09:39,732 --> 00:09:41,398
I had the best time
233
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:42,940
at Durbin's birthday thing last night.
234
00:09:44,154 --> 00:09:46,088
Huh, what's this?
Principal Durbin came by
235
00:09:46,113 --> 00:09:48,579
and returned your book.
He seemed pretty upset.
236
00:09:48,604 --> 00:09:50,598
I think he might have been crying...
237
00:09:50,726 --> 00:09:53,159
- and limping.
- Oh, no.
238
00:09:53,412 --> 00:09:55,512
What did you do this time, Jack?
239
00:09:55,514 --> 00:09:58,037
Well, Marissa, I...
240
00:09:58,417 --> 00:10:00,717
I left a very incriminating bookmark
241
00:10:00,719 --> 00:10:03,621
in the book I panicked-gifted to Durbin.
242
00:10:05,724 --> 00:10:06,857
Ooh!
243
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,736
This is a bad sucky feeling.
244
00:10:11,738 --> 00:10:13,161
It's just an all-around
245
00:10:13,186 --> 00:10:15,559
crappy, sucky-ass situation,
246
00:10:15,584 --> 00:10:17,959
and there's nothing that can be done.
247
00:10:19,147 --> 00:10:21,579
- You could apologize.
- Nah.
248
00:10:21,581 --> 00:10:23,665
No. No, I thought about that,
249
00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:26,540
but it kind of doesn't
work in real life, you know.
250
00:10:26,565 --> 00:10:28,620
You're right boss. It doesn't work.
251
00:10:28,921 --> 00:10:32,022
I tried apologizing to Chaz Gurd
for breaking his heart,
252
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,497
but he keeps sending me
253
00:10:33,522 --> 00:10:35,192
shirtless photos on his tractor.
254
00:10:35,671 --> 00:10:37,595
Counterpoint. It worked when I wet
255
00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:39,785
my younger brother's
bed from beneath it.
256
00:10:39,810 --> 00:10:40,876
He forgave me.
257
00:10:40,901 --> 00:10:42,396
You wet his bed from underneath?
258
00:10:42,878 --> 00:10:43,978
How did... ?
259
00:10:44,307 --> 00:10:46,284
I'm not gonna discuss it any further.
260
00:10:46,309 --> 00:10:47,376
Yeah.
261
00:10:49,331 --> 00:10:52,594
Ah, hey, Helen, is, um, Ralph in?
262
00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:53,718
No, he's at the morgue!
263
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,386
He didn't make it through surgery.
264
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:57,088
Helen, let me handle this.
265
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:59,558
And could you get some more crotch ice
266
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:01,336
for my paper underpants, please?
267
00:11:02,201 --> 00:11:04,606
Mr. Griffin, can I help you?
268
00:11:05,049 --> 00:11:07,132
Ah, do you mind if we...?
269
00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:23,899
Ralph, I am, um...
270
00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:27,318
I'm so sorry. Man, really, I...
271
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,652
I wasn't trying to get out
272
00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:29,720
of a one-on-one dinner with you.
273
00:11:29,722 --> 00:11:30,854
I need you to know that.
274
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,105
I thought it was going to
be a whole big group thing...
275
00:11:32,129 --> 00:11:34,527
- Ralph, it's not about that.
- Jack, Jack, it's okay.
276
00:11:34,889 --> 00:11:37,574
Hey, I realized that this friendship
277
00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:40,064
is... it's fool's gold.
278
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:41,765
Th-there's no gold in this river,
279
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:44,435
so I'm gonna pack up my pan and shovel,
280
00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:46,737
and my sluice boxes
and my suction dredges,
281
00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:48,006
and I'm gonna move on.
282
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,109
You're reading about gold panning?
283
00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:52,843
Maybe.
284
00:11:53,366 --> 00:11:55,524
But that's something
I would tell a friend,
285
00:11:56,135 --> 00:11:57,235
not a coworker.
286
00:11:58,145 --> 00:11:59,645
Have a good day, Mr. Griffin.
287
00:12:04,055 --> 00:12:05,155
Okay.
288
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:17,376
Oh God!
289
00:12:17,401 --> 00:12:18,535
Have a good day, Mr. Griffin.
290
00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:20,082
I know. Ralph, I'm... she's...
291
00:12:20,872 --> 00:12:22,138
All right, I'm going.
292
00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:23,469
I'm gonna...
293
00:12:33,518 --> 00:12:34,717
Ladies, do you see that?
294
00:12:34,719 --> 00:12:36,786
Do you see that blood being thrown out?
295
00:12:36,788 --> 00:12:38,922
I did that. I ruined that blood.
296
00:12:38,947 --> 00:12:40,723
I unplugged the fridge
to charge my phone.
297
00:12:40,725 --> 00:12:43,559
You ruined a full day
of blood donations?
298
00:12:43,561 --> 00:12:45,108
Don't say it like I meant to do it.
299
00:12:45,133 --> 00:12:46,162
It was a mistake.
300
00:12:46,164 --> 00:12:47,530
We have to catch Whitlock up,
301
00:12:47,532 --> 00:12:49,398
or we're gonna lose
to those Prairie hicks.
302
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,367
We need to find more donors stat.
303
00:12:51,369 --> 00:12:53,714
I hear you need blood!
304
00:12:56,140 --> 00:12:58,239
We are winning this blood drive,
305
00:12:58,241 --> 00:13:01,029
and I will be God dang
if Jack is gonna ruin
306
00:13:01,054 --> 00:13:03,244
Spirit Week and Ralph's birthday.
307
00:13:04,352 --> 00:13:05,413
Drain me.
308
00:13:05,798 --> 00:13:08,750
Are you sure? You've
already given twice.
309
00:13:08,752 --> 00:13:11,419
Oh, honey, I'm a regular
tomato soup factory.
310
00:13:11,421 --> 00:13:13,388
I gonna make myself go to sleep
311
00:13:13,390 --> 00:13:15,883
and you tell them to
just keep on taking it.
312
00:13:16,827 --> 00:13:19,761
- Okay.
- All right.
313
00:13:19,763 --> 00:13:20,809
- Hey.
- Hey.
314
00:13:21,122 --> 00:13:22,931
Word on the street is Durbin hates you.
315
00:13:22,933 --> 00:13:24,766
Oh, yeah, yeah, it's a little rough.
316
00:13:24,768 --> 00:13:26,367
You know I lost my principal friend,
317
00:13:26,369 --> 00:13:27,838
and just when he was about to hook me up
318
00:13:27,862 --> 00:13:29,495
with JV volleyball tickets.
319
00:13:29,839 --> 00:13:31,172
Bummer, man. Front row too.
320
00:13:31,774 --> 00:13:34,541
You know, Jack, this
whole detached routine
321
00:13:34,543 --> 00:13:36,077
is getting a little boring.
322
00:13:36,492 --> 00:13:38,191
I know you care about Durbin.
323
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,447
Isn't it exhausting
pretending that you don't?
324
00:13:40,449 --> 00:13:42,389
Not exhausting. Suck it, Prairie.
325
00:13:44,134 --> 00:13:46,134
What? Where are you going?
326
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,192
Wait.
327
00:13:54,550 --> 00:13:55,557
Thank you.
328
00:13:55,582 --> 00:13:56,798
- Thanks.
- Enjoy the game.
329
00:13:56,823 --> 00:13:58,323
And I can now announce
330
00:13:58,325 --> 00:14:01,049
that Prairie has won the tug of war!
331
00:14:04,731 --> 00:14:05,933
Oh my God, Mary!
332
00:14:05,958 --> 00:14:08,533
That's the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.
333
00:14:08,535 --> 00:14:10,234
Ooh, I should get a
quick pic for Durbin.
334
00:14:10,236 --> 00:14:12,857
He hasn't seen it yet. I
guess he's in the bathroom.
335
00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:16,407
Oh!
336
00:14:17,210 --> 00:14:20,011
Ah, I was trying to
find the dang camera app.
337
00:14:20,413 --> 00:14:21,982
Why did I put it in a folder?
338
00:14:22,216 --> 00:14:24,348
And now for the results of this year's
339
00:14:24,350 --> 00:14:26,383
Spirit Week blood drive challenge.
340
00:14:26,385 --> 00:14:28,719
The winner is... the Whitlock Rams!
341
00:14:30,422 --> 00:14:32,622
Oh my God, Helen, you did it.
342
00:14:32,624 --> 00:14:34,123
You gave so much blood
343
00:14:34,125 --> 00:14:35,525
that you won the blood drive for us.
344
00:14:35,549 --> 00:14:37,203
Oh, that's so great.
345
00:14:37,228 --> 00:14:41,235
All right, next up, we've
got the mascot dunk contest.
346
00:14:41,260 --> 00:14:44,720
First up, Helen DeMarcus
as the Whitlock Ram.
347
00:14:44,745 --> 00:14:45,812
That's me.
348
00:14:47,806 --> 00:14:50,273
I have a quick question.
Are we in a tunnel?
349
00:14:50,275 --> 00:14:51,570
No, we're in a gym.
350
00:14:51,595 --> 00:14:54,648
And you are not falling
down toward me from above?
351
00:14:54,673 --> 00:14:56,880
- You sure you wanna do this?
- Oh, yeah, I'm good.
352
00:14:57,181 --> 00:14:58,282
Okay.
353
00:15:00,879 --> 00:15:02,251
For Durbin.
354
00:15:03,821 --> 00:15:06,455
Okay, Helen, you've got this.
355
00:15:06,457 --> 00:15:07,728
Stay focused.
356
00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:10,495
All right, here we go.
357
00:15:11,662 --> 00:15:14,463
No!
358
00:15:14,465 --> 00:15:17,299
This is not good!
359
00:15:17,301 --> 00:15:19,602
Holy...!
360
00:15:24,475 --> 00:15:25,574
Font!
361
00:15:27,531 --> 00:15:29,172
What do you think? Low two?
362
00:15:29,197 --> 00:15:30,229
Two?
363
00:15:55,325 --> 00:15:57,205
Ah, yo, a little help here?
364
00:15:57,918 --> 00:15:59,318
Ask one of your friends, dummy.
365
00:15:59,509 --> 00:16:01,276
See you. Wouldn't want to be you.
366
00:16:36,379 --> 00:16:40,514
Five, four, three, two, one!
367
00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,918
And Prairie beats Whitlock,
368
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:48,722
74 to 9.
369
00:16:48,724 --> 00:16:50,491
That was in poor taste.
370
00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:52,609
Damn, we got housed.
371
00:16:54,396 --> 00:16:57,498
Well, it all comes down
to this, ladies and gents.
372
00:16:57,523 --> 00:16:59,755
It's the principal showdown,
373
00:16:59,780 --> 00:17:01,668
featuring Principal Durbin
374
00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:02,904
from Whitlock High,
375
00:17:04,406 --> 00:17:08,592
versus Dr. Stumpf, from Prairie High!
376
00:17:10,186 --> 00:17:11,911
Remember, the principals don't know
377
00:17:11,913 --> 00:17:13,746
what the mystery challenge is.
378
00:17:13,748 --> 00:17:15,882
Will it be a battle of wits?
379
00:17:16,038 --> 00:17:20,887
No! It's riding mechanical rams...
380
00:17:20,889 --> 00:17:23,623
- Oh my God.
- From hell!
381
00:17:24,792 --> 00:17:26,308
What the hell?
382
00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:30,430
Whichever principal
stays on longer wins.
383
00:17:30,432 --> 00:17:31,502
No.
384
00:17:32,967 --> 00:17:35,975
Ralph, you cannot do this.
Your tubes are too tender.
385
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,971
Helen, I have to. I can tough it out
386
00:17:38,973 --> 00:17:40,706
- for Whitlock.
- Hey, Ralph.
387
00:17:40,708 --> 00:17:42,856
This does not concern you, Mr. Griffin.
388
00:17:42,881 --> 00:17:45,545
Come on, Durbin, time
for you to lose again.
389
00:17:45,547 --> 00:17:47,628
Tenth year in a row for you to lose,
390
00:17:47,653 --> 00:17:50,715
you loser.
391
00:17:51,419 --> 00:17:53,618
Ralph, you cannot do
this. He can't do this.
392
00:17:53,620 --> 00:17:57,743
That means Whitlock forfeits
and loses the Ram Cup.
393
00:17:57,768 --> 00:17:59,008
Hold on a second. Hold on.
394
00:17:59,033 --> 00:18:00,092
What if, uh...?
395
00:18:01,173 --> 00:18:03,274
What if I ride the bull
instead of Principal Durbin?
396
00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:04,996
You know, for medical reasons.
397
00:18:05,188 --> 00:18:09,501
That is some typical Whitlock.
398
00:18:09,503 --> 00:18:11,303
Eh, let me see.
399
00:18:11,828 --> 00:18:13,195
Jack, what are you doing?
400
00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:15,259
I'm not gonna help you move
your new fridge in your house.
401
00:18:15,283 --> 00:18:16,920
My new fridge is in,
don't worry about it.
402
00:18:16,944 --> 00:18:19,280
I'm doing this for you, pal.
So, you can, you know,
403
00:18:19,305 --> 00:18:20,980
let loose you baby juice, remember?
404
00:18:21,005 --> 00:18:22,747
From the restaurant dinner?
405
00:18:22,749 --> 00:18:26,019
I agree to let you ride if I can have
406
00:18:26,044 --> 00:18:27,853
a designated rider as well.
407
00:18:28,488 --> 00:18:30,639
- Yeah. That seems fair.
- Ah.
408
00:18:31,780 --> 00:18:32,836
Hey, Chaz.
409
00:18:36,362 --> 00:18:39,930
Alright from Prairie
High, third year senior
410
00:18:39,932 --> 00:18:43,501
and semi-professional
bull rider, Chaz Gurd.
411
00:18:43,503 --> 00:18:46,104
Yeah! Let's go!
412
00:18:48,508 --> 00:18:50,608
- Is that?
- Yep.
413
00:18:50,610 --> 00:18:55,480
And from Whitlock,
middle-aged A.P. Bio teacher
414
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:57,948
Jack Griffin!
415
00:18:57,950 --> 00:19:00,017
- Middle-aged?
- That's what it says.
416
00:19:00,019 --> 00:19:02,019
Come on, man. I'm, you know.
417
00:19:02,021 --> 00:19:03,988
I crap bigger than you.
418
00:19:03,990 --> 00:19:05,610
Come on, dude, that's
from "City Slickers".
419
00:19:05,634 --> 00:19:06,724
Eh?
420
00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:08,258
Oh.
421
00:19:14,033 --> 00:19:19,036
And here we go!
422
00:19:19,038 --> 00:19:20,971
Let's go! Get up!
423
00:19:20,973 --> 00:19:24,141
Ride the ram! Ride the ram!
424
00:19:24,143 --> 00:19:27,077
Ride the ram! Ride the ram!
425
00:19:27,079 --> 00:19:30,014
Ride the ram! Ride the ram!
426
00:19:34,486 --> 00:19:39,189
On your mark, get set... ride!
427
00:19:48,933 --> 00:19:51,368
Don't worry. I got this.
428
00:19:53,038 --> 00:19:56,673
Chaz.
429
00:20:04,082 --> 00:20:07,750
- Oops.
- Heather?
430
00:20:10,088 --> 00:20:12,922
Come to me.
431
00:20:17,729 --> 00:20:19,628
And Chaz Gurd has been thrown!
432
00:20:19,630 --> 00:20:22,231
Whitlock High are the 2019 Champions!
433
00:20:22,233 --> 00:20:24,901
- Yes.
- Whoo-hoo!
434
00:20:24,903 --> 00:20:27,636
Yeah, baby! I did it! I did it!
435
00:20:28,939 --> 00:20:30,286
Aw, man.
436
00:20:30,564 --> 00:20:33,461
- Hey, so, friends?
- Best friends.
437
00:20:33,486 --> 00:20:34,776
That's a little much.
438
00:20:34,778 --> 00:20:36,544
Come on, just razzing you, man,
439
00:20:36,546 --> 00:20:38,780
- like friends do.
- All right.
440
00:20:38,782 --> 00:20:41,116
- Go ice those balls.
- I will.
441
00:20:41,118 --> 00:20:44,119
I'm not far behind. Oof.
442
00:20:44,121 --> 00:20:45,987
Hey.
443
00:20:45,989 --> 00:20:48,223
I see you found your
school spirit, Jack.
444
00:20:48,225 --> 00:20:50,412
No, I've just grown to hate
these Prairie hicks so much
445
00:20:50,437 --> 00:20:52,094
that I wanted to see
them lose, you know?
446
00:20:52,096 --> 00:20:53,514
And feel deep humiliation.
447
00:20:53,539 --> 00:20:55,819
That is exactly what school spirit is.
448
00:20:55,844 --> 00:20:57,099
Here.
449
00:20:57,101 --> 00:20:59,835
Geez.
450
00:20:59,837 --> 00:21:02,637
Oh, come on, don't make
a big deal out of this.
451
00:21:07,577 --> 00:21:09,310
Why not, huh?
31805
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