Original subtitles

ah kids everybody loves them right yeah

probably love kids

oh I got it bit I don't that's me by the

way I'm max I'm the little dog right

there grateful I'm not being piled on by

a horde of children oh can you believe

that

uh-oh your kid looks like fun ah man it

ain't fun I'm telling you once the

humans bring a kid home you might think

the same scene is a billion times it

changes you now I thought I've never had

to worry about any of that but then one

day my owner Katie meant Chuck yeah

they're married which is great such as

real easy good guy but then something

happened

Katie and Chuck had a kid of their own

his name's Liam at first he slept all

the time dreaming about you know

whatever it is that baby's dream about

he had his place and I had mine things

seemed like they were gonna be fine

until he started talking and eventually

he started crawling sort of if suddenly

my own home wasn't safe anymore there

was a tiny monster taking it over now I

did my best to keep a safe distance and

one day Liam did something I never

expected and from then on everything was

different

Duke and I we feel like role models to

him what can I say that the kids a fan

we try to be a good influence and we

help them out whenever we can by the way

I'm still not a kid person I'm talking

about this kid this is my kid he's

perfect and I'm never gonna let anything

bad happen to him

but I gotta say keeping Liam safe is a

full-time job

you know hey there buddy this the world

always this dangerous

evildoer

I'm gone this man of a superhero and

French to order the minutes of our last

meeting thank you

now remember everyone prime is out there

we have to be ready come on Molly

time to go oh I'm gonna be late for

school captain snowball you're in charge

while I'm gone huh first of all I want

to welcome wake them because I got doing

I'm looking for crime tiny doll I'm

doing superhero stuff and say something

anybody come to him looking for trouble

oh hey go meet my partner I'm talking

about Paul okay well you do know that

your owner is just playing superhero

right you're just wearing some superhero

pajamas ha tiny dog you so naive point

me in the direction of any animal who

needs my help and stand back okay so I

did leave for school yet advanced

spelling charades ago you know she

writes your answers down and ink

that sounds really smart but you know

what liam is smart too

in fact I heard Katie say that Liam's

head circumference is in the 80th

percentile

oh that's cool it's a lot ahead at quick

question is he still peeing everywhere

can't control his bladder

yeah he's peeing but but every pet knows

if you pee on it you own it and lamby

he's just making a head yeah but you

still better training before preschool

starts you don't want Liam to get a

reputation as one of those PP kids yeah

I'm totally like wait preschool yeah

he's around that age the baby bird is

leaving in that CD no no baby bird is

staying but does it need preschool you

know

stay home with me where it's safe hey

max it's no big deal no need to

overreact but uh Liam just left wait

what

where'd he go I don't know they never

told the dog specifics okay okay this is

home base to all units the package has

left the building does anyone have eyes

on him I don't see him oh he's not in

this bag of chips oh okay

keep wait a minute why would he be in a

bag of chips

eyes on the package that soon as he left

the building

subjective savings down enjoying what

looks to be a cookie baked like a mousse

oh wait it's a reindeer

okay thanks Norman gotcha - get in there

buddy I really don't like it when they

take them out without me let's say we go

for a walk you know I gotta say this is

nice good stretch no no no no oh not

cool you tricked me Maxie come on boy

you've been so stressed lately but this

vent is gonna help you

all right

first time here uh yeah dr. Francis is

the best veterinarian in the business

you're gonna love him he specializes in

behavioral disorders behavioral

disorders yeah but I don't have a

behavioral disorder I I mean I mean I

worry a little sure but it's a dangerous

world you'd be crazy not to worry

yeah I'm fine too it's by human that's

that's I mean you know I I bring it

right there but she throws it out bring

him a dead mouse garbage no my owner

always says you're such a good dog and I

feel like a good dog but I'm in a bad

time

I know buddy it's just until we can get

this scratching thing under control okay

Thanks Thanks you're never gonna believe

it

oh hey I like your coat listen I heard

Chuck tell me that we're going on a trip

really we're going in the car we're

going in the car

man you know life is funny

one minute you're getting fitted for a

cone and the next you get to go to the

car I feel like that's very specific to

you but totally yeah incredible I'll be

right back

Chloe Chloe I'm going on a trip I I was

wondering if all will you watch my busy

bball on fire oh hey max were you saying

something

ah yeah I was wondering if you never

mind what's that stupid thing on your

head

you wanna join me

oh you know what I really look I could

but get this I'm going on a trip wow

really yeah it's a big deal I was

wondering could you watch my busy bball

I'm gone

I know it's my favorite toy in the whole

world and that little face

oh and and ready oh wow I love him oh I

just I just love him immediately it's

it's like we're his parents it's like

you're the dad and I'm the mom and we're

in a relationship and this is our baby

well it's exactly like that

exactly okay yes yes that's exactly what

it is so you'll watch busy bee while I'm

gone next you go have a great time and I

want you to know I haven't got this

thanks good you see you later I won't

defend busy bee with my life

ha

you don't be first buddy washboard

glutes

I'm sure geeks are but mine I'm gonna be

shredded oh yeah okay

come on take one good look at my lips

let's go give up oh okay this is

obviously glued to the floor

rabbit cap do any of you know captain

snowball yeah yeah yes yes we do

and here we go oh good my name is Daisy

and I really gotta talk to him a poor

defenseless animal needs saving

are you saying yes I need captain

snowball for you uh I gotta go but nice

meeting you uh well doesn't it okay you

don't miss it it's Daisy whatever okay

that was weird

Oh sister it's gonna get way weirder

yeah

no time

if he okay not in any way no hello

citizens

I'm captain snowball I hear one of you

needs my help

oh that's me ah very good new doll tell

me a story okay well it all began when I

was on my way back from vacation

our humans were safely stowed enough

overhead compartment and we were going

through our owner stuff he was always

blender him what do you get

I'll trade you two bucks for a pair of

workout shorts

oh they clean or dirty mm-hmm dangling

no thank mathy and then I heard noise

now I'll figure out animal but from what

I gathered he was a scared adorable

tiger cub named who this poor baby kitty

was being held against his will

oh that is unbelievable I know right no

I mean I literally don't believe a word

of it

no offense well do take offense I'm good

either way um pardon me oh it's very

much taken that story happens and it

gets worse after the plane landed I saw

him again he would be in brothel there's

no owner in this guy yeah this guy was

pure concentrated surplice evil that's

not your needs got this Oh Daisy let's

go yeah hey let's free that tiger or die

trying

well I mean I may we might um probably

you huh you're wearing a bright suit

everyone's gonna notice you I'll be fine

hey guys we're here there's uncle Jeff

welcome to the fall

where's my little man

oh look at this place yeah never smelled

before so confused

hey go oh you're a cow you're supposed

to know what what what Oh dog

I'm wagging my tail like an idiot oh

please throw the ball and I will chase

it because my brain is the size of a rat

oh okay yeah I get it you're the door

until you come back

Oh New York maybe a break from the city

is just what you need

this places

I need your help

Oh Chloe Chloe are you okay sorry I'm

just I'm real quick why is there a

lampshade on your head

listen gadget baby I gotta be honest

with you my owner might have given me a

little bit of catnip is great Gidget

everything is grass all right

do you hear that you're what like a tiny

a like a tiny motor is a calming sound I

don't know what you're good Oh Chloe

you're pairing huh

that's you what that's me I guess in the

sound is coming from inside of me yep oh

I wonder what other sounds I could make

it's just max trusted me to look after

his busy bee and then oh boy would you

listen

Wow pleased up are you finished

this is important I lost busy bee I

gotta get it back but you do that Chloe

I need you to teach me the way of the

cat good try to catch fire play I'm just

that sounds great but I think Liam wants

me Miriam you know he's a little freaked

out being in this weird place I think

you'll be okay okay

oh hello dass got two things in this

life his water ball and his dignity you

take one you take the other hi I didn't

know this was your ball

what the comb blocking near view it's

got my name on the side we are so sorry

mr. chicken name's not chicken no I look

like a chicken to you nope no snow not

not even a little name's rooster oh okay

I'm Max and this was a kid doing in the

cage he got the fever that's that's Liam

yep he likes to run so let him run well

Liam super fast

we blinked and he's up a tricky so then

your kids up a tree what's the problem

well he could fall mine and then he

hurts himself oh so he got really high

up in this hypothetical tree it gets

hurt he learns not to do it again you

know how many electric cords I've chewed

like multiple courts one it shocked me I

walk backward for a week but I never

chewed a cord again well that is great

for you and and it explains a lot but I

like to protect Liam from everything

well that's you and you're wrong can you

believe that guy yeah he was cool

no he wasn't I know he wasn't cool

come on

whoa hold up there dog sleep outside

pardon huh whoa okay wait wait

all right we're there in record time too

thanks to the bunny mobile Oh stealth

mode let's go

you are jumping I mean that's cool look

I'm not scared right there oh there's a

candy wrapper autograph see it's just a

thing I do time

we try again tomorrow if Tiger does not

drink Tiger will become lagers pull up

the tiger out of your sight

it's okay who it's me

thanks from the plane hey step away from

that tiger business

all right yeah

you know what I learned today huh mom's

a jerk

Dook Dook I think we should check on

Liam Duke

huh

that way we don't hopefully skin and

bones

Thanks he uh he got the jump on me see I

couldn't see him because of the tone

then get rid of the cone oh man I would

but my therapist says I need it oh that

makes sense yeah it's a medical device

he's doctor yeah you're cured

hallelujah not a fan I am NOT a fan of

the farm okay tail

ears and voila whoa Gidget you look so

much like a cabbage crazy yeah who knew

so easy whoa whoa whoa hold on it's

gonna take more than fake ears and a

sock okay you gotta learn how to act

like a cat okay okay good I'm gonna

throw some situations at you and you're

just gonna you know you're gonna react

like a cat no cats don't help that Jane

fetching is for dopes you're above that

because you are a cat

you see dogs land like the clumsy oafs

they are meanwhile cats land on their

feet

really nice work

seriously guys I think I broke something

you got it the fact of life absolutely

not okay digit eat sweet pea what cats

eat birds

its nature yeah I'm gonna pass no no no

you used your one pass on the litter box

that you have to do this but do it

you're seriously gonna make hurry sweet

pea

I don't know of course I'm just no

that's bad dog bad cat dog kill in the

face okay check to the butt to the cup

walk on keyboard

Coffee on computer yes you got it

yes you're as close to a cat as a dog

can get cool now turn me into a

chinchilla

can you do that oh yeah

first mission in the bed they'll be sooo

easy maybe

what'd I do

well I just rescued a tiger now I'm mad

at you trying to brag I'm just telling

you what happened

yeah being awesome when you awesome and

you just tell the truth

it sounds like you break let me know

when you finish Tooting your horn

since we gotta find a safe place for who

what what are you gonna

oh yeah a beggar yeah oh yeah oh I got I

know guy whose owners never home yeah we

did just take a man barrels like a plan

super body powers activate

wait out here buddy Oh puppy school is

in session puppy school about the daily

pledge I promise to mission to pause and

learn how to be adorable why'd I didn't

loving you get what I want when I want

okay now pops quiz Myron is hidden socks

all over the room now what do we do with

human socks

go ahead Frances we are director Rooney

and why do we hide them not knowing

where one stock is messes with the

humans minds and yes it does always keep

them guessing

now go find those socks hey pop oh

what's going on my name's tiny nobody

cares I was teaching tiny how not to be

anyone's sucker word got out suddenly

every puppy in the tri-state area -

scratching at my door yeah oh good face

your pops yes pickle

I got me a pump oh you know where to do

that find a shoe

horn

it's okay this beautiful creature is

poop and the good news if he's there

with you get that Tiger out of here

before he does any more damage but we

don't have anywhere else

thank you I ain't stayin here don't get

attacks that thing is out Oh pickles did

you poop in tissue I jumped in a boat

your order won't find it for a week are

you crying what no you're crying but I'm

so proud of pickles

yeah Myron look away guru okay fine one

night let me touch you guys to girl

until wolves find your guard white

tigers in you words you blow it

maybe I should make juggling monkey head

of security but see you little circus

money there's this one you're the words

por favor

I swear what this these thieves of type

yet you bring that I get back in if you

don't that one will be a new coat for a

little silly

like Tony major - I'm sorry Liam we

can't read well wait a sec there's no

reason we can't figure this one out

together right

this first page there is a little girl

in a Red Hood skipping through the

forest without wisdom food look at that

she's got blue look at that she brought

the food over - hmm

say who is that oh looks like her

grandma oh I'll bet you're right all

that is we visit the little girl went

home

no one got eaten the end no no no that's

not how the story goes oh we got this

thanks that wolf was gonna eat the

little girl thank you rooster he already

ate grandma and then he is so the old

lady's identity no hey don't freak out

my kid mr. whoopee kid seems fine to me

you're the one who's scared of

everything I am NOT um tell him Duke

yeah yeah max isn't scared of everything

I I could think of them oh yeah yeah

well there's a there's a few things okay

thanks you bet

okay this is it you good to go

Roger that

max did you see that yeah oh cool oh

it's not that big a deal

yeah

he looked at big guy got out

we better get rooster oh no no no no

need for that I can handle it

hey mister back back inside don't you

don't you ignore me come on max mr. nips

to the cows again the move really

now it's drastic but okay Pig you asked

for this

hey that's you okay yeah

what's going on don't worry I'm I'm fine

you let all the sheep out I did hey get

back in there come on

wait a minute where's cotton oh he went

into the woods you come with me where

are we going we're gonna go get cotton

back oh great

come on Duke Oh Duke set yep this is

just you and me oh boy come on super

Oh

since hidden stronger conscious gloves

oh hey you know I just just gone without

me oh you're not giving up

yeah but follow me what are you doing

there's apples in this tree oh man

Max is coming down to save you wait what

that tree can't support my weight you

get down there

I can't do that sure you can think of

this as a game of fetch now go fetch the

sheep no no it's too high and I'm I'm

too afraid max here's a trick the first

step of not being afraid is acting like

you're not afraid haha so are you scared

no are you scared no no I'm not

now you're talking go get cotton fur it

okay

yeah listen huh cotton walk toward me

okay okay sure but my leg is stuck his

leg is stuck

well unstuck it yeah

Oh

okay

real life yeah we are

max

get back in your pen cut other way

so how did it go what happened you know

it was it was pretty intense

tell him rooster you know some stuff

happened gosh / oh he can really tell a

story right

you

we had a getting closer so there I was

surrounded by nasty wolves you asking

what I feared no one asked anything you

just walked up to us and started talking

I was scared but I faked that tiger

anyway am i hero

that's not for me to say oh stop digging

for a second boo boo and maybe you're

lying something as I was saying hey Dad

that's what I've been talking about

wolves

Hey

where is the tiger oh this is train okay

oh you just beat balletic you don't even

know it perhaps what's up with what's

going on oh you know just returning your

genitalia

oh fuck back he trashed my apartment

they made a flag scream like it was a

painted ship hey oh now you've done it

pickles is peeved uh are you sure that's

my tiger cuz I don't come on let's go

class oh come on old man don't do this

wait wait wait wait wait please hey hey

I'm gonna get back to our pizza rolls

now come back check on you in a bit okay

problem solved no Bo hope you know what

are you doing in Max's apartment nothing

why are you hanging out with every cat

in the universe okay okay

hey rooster hey kid good job today

yeah why I got it min I feel pretty good

I'm not so nervous around the farm of

you or the turkey who won't stop

following me oh yeah I see you you

weirdo

anyway I heard Katie say we're leaving

tomorrow you want me to uh want me to go

oh that's what we do out here you want

to join me

yeah okay cool ready to try won't get

deeper eat from your gut right okay God

there you go

Wow

huh what do you think

hey where'd Mexico and who let their

super cool cowboy in the car

Thank You Lori

mind your business sir to him okay mom

is over

nobody

good to be home so good

snowball oh hey what uh hey sorry dog

what are you doing with a tiger in my

apartment

well what are you doing home for your

trip so soon

I mean it's obviously point fingers hey

hey we don't have time for this

we are trying to hide who before the

circus wolves get here

circus wolves you do know I have like me

you're not around right CD yeah okay

well at least we die together keep it

together boy okay okay we need to play

baby honey no where are you going

yeah I'm not sure but I guess I'm gonna

try and find my inner rooster what

I left hi demon Wow oh it's just this

way little guy why'd you just go back to

where you belong Bonzo

Oh

carry the ball

then oh they're in a truck what are we

gonna do TV

we read you loud and clear Oh mommy's

got it go say that again

silly boy training is going to be a lot

more fun all right let's get these Sean

anthrax

guys what's your location they're on a

train headed northbound

Oh Roger that Norman

yeah okay can you find a way to get back

up here or is there

oh is that hello Daisy oh thank goodness

get me out of here I'm stuck okay okay

this is now look

you are going nowhere I'm kind enough

yes all right all right all right all

right all right

okay so things got back to normal I mean

no Mike closes the door opens the cat

lady's window because everything changes

nothing stays the same for long the

minute you're used to something the

minute you think oh this is how life is

life finds a way of surprising you you

never know what life is gonna throw at

you and you have two choices run from it

or run at it

it's a big day and from this point on

nothing is gonna be the same but I'm

gonna be brave I'm gonna help me and be

brave because he's my kid

and I want him to see the world the big

scary incredible world are you okay yeah

I'm good

my daddy's always