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Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org
1
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# You must remember this
2
00:00:13,047 --> 00:00:15,720
# A kiss is still a kiss
3
00:00:15,767 --> 00:00:18,725
# A sigh is just a sigh
4
00:00:21,287 --> 00:00:24,962
# The fundamental things apply
5
00:00:25,007 --> 00:00:28,966
# As time goes by #
6
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,881
Hello, Type For You agency.
7
00:00:32,927 --> 00:00:35,885
Yes, can you hold the line
for a moment, please? Thanks.
8
00:00:38,927 --> 00:00:41,202
- Are you in?
- Who is it?
9
00:00:41,247 --> 00:00:43,363
- Lionel Hardcastle.
- I'm out.
10
00:00:43,407 --> 00:00:45,557
- For long?
- Try a decade.
11
00:00:48,647 --> 00:00:52,686
Hello, Mr Hardcastle. I'm sorry,
but Miss Pargetter is out at the moment.
12
00:00:52,727 --> 00:00:54,206
Oh, not for long.
13
00:00:54,247 --> 00:00:56,238
Ten years or so.
14
00:00:59,967 --> 00:01:02,276
Ten years or so.
15
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:08,566
Bye.
16
00:01:08,607 --> 00:01:11,280
Li, hi. Must fly.
17
00:01:12,247 --> 00:01:15,444
- Win fan ling chang.
- Pardon?
18
00:01:15,487 --> 00:01:19,116
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought we were conversing in Chinese.
19
00:01:19,167 --> 00:01:21,158
What?
20
00:01:22,127 --> 00:01:24,925
I see. Nice one, Li.
21
00:01:24,967 --> 00:01:27,197
No, no, I mean, I've only got five minutes.
22
00:01:27,247 --> 00:01:29,807
And you're devoting them all to me?
I'm touched.
23
00:01:29,847 --> 00:01:33,157
You'd better come in.
Run in might be a better idea.
24
00:01:34,247 --> 00:01:36,078
Thing is, Lionel, er...
25
00:01:36,127 --> 00:01:37,799
your manuscript...
26
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:39,724
- We love it!
- Good.
27
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:43,362
- But it isn't quite right.
- Oh, for goodness' sake, Alistair.
28
00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:47,320
I put a lot of work into that book.
I've made all the revisions you asked for.
29
00:01:47,367 --> 00:01:50,086
I know, I know, and we are thrilled.
30
00:01:50,127 --> 00:01:53,005
- You're thrilled, but it isn't quite right?
- No.
31
00:01:53,047 --> 00:01:56,722
- So it's bad?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, we love it!
32
00:01:56,767 --> 00:01:59,235
Is it me or are we going round in circles?
33
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:02,643
Put it this way -
your manuscript, and we do love it,
34
00:02:03,247 --> 00:02:04,885
is there...
35
00:02:04,927 --> 00:02:07,487
but it's not there.
36
00:02:08,367 --> 00:02:11,086
Would it help if we went back to Chinese?
37
00:02:11,767 --> 00:02:13,962
It needs...
38
00:02:14,007 --> 00:02:16,362
- It needs... What's the word?
- Burning?
39
00:02:16,407 --> 00:02:19,604
- Humanising.
- Oh, humanising.
40
00:02:19,647 --> 00:02:21,842
- Yes.
- What are you talking about?
41
00:02:21,887 --> 00:02:24,355
Look, it has people in it, I'm in it.
42
00:02:24,407 --> 00:02:27,365
And, contrary to what some people think,
I am human.
43
00:02:27,407 --> 00:02:29,079
Yes, but not in the book.
44
00:02:29,127 --> 00:02:32,437
You're a cipher.
All people in the book are ciphers.
45
00:02:32,487 --> 00:02:34,000
They need to be...
46
00:02:34,047 --> 00:02:36,561
They need to be... people.
47
00:02:36,607 --> 00:02:38,677
The people in the book need to be people?
48
00:02:38,727 --> 00:02:40,524
- You got it.
- Are you sure?
49
00:02:40,567 --> 00:02:43,479
It won't take a lot more work, Lionel.
50
00:02:43,527 --> 00:02:45,802
One last push and we have a book.
51
00:02:45,847 --> 00:02:49,522
We have real chances,
we could even be talking screen rights.
52
00:02:49,567 --> 00:02:52,161
You could be played by, er...
53
00:02:52,847 --> 00:02:55,281
Robert Redford.
54
00:02:55,327 --> 00:02:58,000
Robert Red?
Aren't we getting ahead of ourselves?
55
00:02:58,047 --> 00:02:59,446
Listen, mate.
56
00:02:59,487 --> 00:03:03,799
If you don't get ahead of yourself,
you'll finish where you started.
57
00:03:03,847 --> 00:03:06,122
I'll think about that. But this humanising...
58
00:03:06,167 --> 00:03:08,476
It won't take you long, maybe a week.
59
00:03:08,527 --> 00:03:11,997
It'll be worth it, Lionel.
It'll pay off, I promise it will.
60
00:03:12,047 --> 00:03:13,878
All right, I'll try.
61
00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:15,724
Good man.
62
00:03:15,767 --> 00:03:17,723
Oh, er...
63
00:03:17,767 --> 00:03:21,885
As long as I'm here, there's a bit of, er...
personal biz I'd like to clear up.
64
00:03:21,927 --> 00:03:24,487
- Personal biz?
- Yes.
65
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:27,397
- Jean.
- What about her?
66
00:03:27,447 --> 00:03:29,915
If I lay it on line would I step on any toes?
67
00:03:29,967 --> 00:03:31,764
Could you lay it on another line?
68
00:03:32,447 --> 00:03:34,244
I, er...
69
00:03:34,287 --> 00:03:36,005
I fancy her like crazy.
70
00:03:36,047 --> 00:03:38,880
- Do you?
- I know what you're going to say.
71
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:40,326
I'm too young.
72
00:03:40,367 --> 00:03:44,042
I was going to say she's too old,
but it's the same thing.
73
00:03:44,087 --> 00:03:47,363
- Not that it's any of my business.
- That's what I wanted to hear.
74
00:03:47,407 --> 00:03:49,204
I, er...
75
00:03:49,247 --> 00:03:51,522
I wouldn't be stepping on your toes? Hmm?
76
00:03:52,527 --> 00:03:54,518
Well, it's a freeish country.
77
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,603
Right.
78
00:03:56,647 --> 00:04:00,117
I like that, freeish.
Can I use it?
79
00:04:00,847 --> 00:04:02,838
Feel freeish.
80
00:04:04,207 --> 00:04:05,606
See you, then, mate.
81
00:04:05,647 --> 00:04:08,684
Oh, and, er, remember -
82
00:04:08,727 --> 00:04:11,799
push, push and, er...
83
00:04:11,847 --> 00:04:13,326
humanise.
84
00:04:13,367 --> 00:04:14,959
Push, push and humanise.
85
00:04:15,007 --> 00:04:17,601
- Bye, Li.
- Bye-bye, Alistair.
86
00:04:17,647 --> 00:04:19,842
Oh. Hm.
87
00:04:20,887 --> 00:04:22,878
Robert Redford.
88
00:04:26,887 --> 00:04:29,481
Oh, Paul, that's excellent. Yes.
89
00:04:29,527 --> 00:04:33,281
Well, bike the contract round to me,
and I'll sign it straightaway.
90
00:04:33,327 --> 00:04:35,682
Oh, lovely, thanks, Paul. Bye.
91
00:04:39,407 --> 00:04:41,523
These have just come for you.
92
00:04:41,567 --> 00:04:44,001
We've got the new premises in Brompton Road.
93
00:04:44,047 --> 00:04:46,641
- My signature on the contract and they're ours.
- Good.
94
00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:48,837
- These came for you.
- Yes.
95
00:04:48,887 --> 00:04:50,684
- They're flowers.
- Yes.
96
00:04:50,727 --> 00:04:54,720
Green stalks with coloured bits on the end.
I can see that.
97
00:04:54,767 --> 00:04:57,964
- We've got a new branch!
- Do you want me to do cartwheels?
98
00:04:58,007 --> 00:05:03,400
Well, be glad for me. All the work I've put
into this agency, it's paying off.
99
00:05:03,447 --> 00:05:05,836
I am glad for you, you deserve it.
100
00:05:05,887 --> 00:05:10,517
- But why aren't you excited about the flowers?
- Probably a business thank you.
101
00:05:10,567 --> 00:05:15,641
Somebody's secretary did a good job,
send them a thank you letter and flowers.
102
00:05:15,687 --> 00:05:18,520
What would you prefer, a box of cigars?
103
00:05:18,567 --> 00:05:20,797
They don't have to be a business thing.
104
00:05:22,007 --> 00:05:23,998
They could be from Lionel.
105
00:05:24,767 --> 00:05:28,203
- Why would Lionel send flowers?
- You were in love, Mum.
106
00:05:28,247 --> 00:05:30,238
That was 38 years ago.
107
00:05:30,287 --> 00:05:32,721
They can't have taken that long to arrive.
108
00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:34,723
Perhaps they're a new thought.
109
00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:37,122
He's got a new thought, we met her in Norwich.
110
00:05:37,167 --> 00:05:39,203
Well, perhaps he's apologising.
111
00:05:39,247 --> 00:05:42,205
There's nothing to apologise for.
112
00:05:42,247 --> 00:05:47,196
If he chooses to spend the night
with a loudmouth, that's his business.
113
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:48,805
I bet they are from Lionel.
114
00:05:48,847 --> 00:05:50,724
I bet you a lunch they're a business thank you.
115
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,644
I bet you a lunch they're from Lionel.
116
00:05:54,327 --> 00:05:57,239
- They're from Alistair.
- I see.
117
00:05:59,047 --> 00:06:03,723
It's a sort of business thank you.
We put the manuscript in order for him.
118
00:06:03,767 --> 00:06:09,160
"Age cannot wither her
nor custom stale her infinite variety."
119
00:06:10,967 --> 00:06:14,721
A business thank you?
From Alistair to Cleopatra.
120
00:06:16,327 --> 00:06:19,364
- You have them.
- Oh, I'm not Cleopatra.
121
00:06:20,567 --> 00:06:22,125
Neither am I.
122
00:06:22,167 --> 00:06:27,036
- Alistair obviously thinks you are.
- Then he needs stronger lenses.
123
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:29,681
- Look, it's your own fault.
- What is?
124
00:06:29,727 --> 00:06:32,480
These are. You practically vamped him
in Norwich.
125
00:06:32,527 --> 00:06:34,563
- Vamped?
- You were all over him.
126
00:06:34,607 --> 00:06:38,282
"Oh, yes, Alistair, I'd like to have
a night cap at the hotel."
127
00:06:38,327 --> 00:06:42,798
Goo-goo eyes, the lot, just because
Lionel turned up with his local bit of stuff.
128
00:06:42,847 --> 00:06:45,042
Well, I was piqued. I resent vamped.
129
00:06:45,087 --> 00:06:47,157
Alistair obviously went for it.
130
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:49,402
Yes, he did, didn't he?
131
00:06:49,447 --> 00:06:50,960
Don't look so smug.
132
00:06:51,007 --> 00:06:52,804
Well, it's a bit of a boost, isn't it?
133
00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:57,523
I'm on the verge of getting a tight perm
and taking a coach out into Worthing,
134
00:06:57,567 --> 00:07:00,320
then an attractive young man sends me flowers.
135
00:07:00,367 --> 00:07:02,881
I find that rather tacky.
136
00:07:02,927 --> 00:07:05,521
- You like Alistair, don't you?
- He's all right.
137
00:07:07,447 --> 00:07:09,358
Hello, Judith Hanson.
138
00:07:09,407 --> 00:07:11,921
- Oh, hello, Alistair.
- Oh.
139
00:07:11,967 --> 00:07:14,117
Mum? No, she's at the chiropodist.
140
00:07:16,727 --> 00:07:21,482
No, no, it's nothing serious, just her weekly visit
to get her corns seen to.
141
00:07:28,927 --> 00:07:33,523
Mr Hardcastle, how nice to have you
with us again.
142
00:07:33,567 --> 00:07:36,479
- I can't stay away.
- You'll be staying for?
143
00:07:36,527 --> 00:07:39,644
Don't worry, as short a time as possible.
144
00:07:39,687 --> 00:07:43,680
I'll need somewhere to work.
Is that room I used before free?
145
00:07:44,367 --> 00:07:47,757
- Room, sir? Do you mean the Anson Suite?
- It's a room.
146
00:07:47,807 --> 00:07:49,843
We call it the Anson Suite.
147
00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:51,366
I see.
148
00:07:51,407 --> 00:07:53,477
What do you call the room you're giving me?
149
00:07:53,527 --> 00:07:55,677
Room 405.
150
00:07:56,407 --> 00:07:58,602
Doesn't have the same ring, does it?
151
00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:01,803
We could offer you a junior suite, sir.
152
00:08:02,287 --> 00:08:04,721
Does that have child-sized furniture?
153
00:08:06,647 --> 00:08:10,686
It has a small sitting room
and a complimentary bowl of fruit.
154
00:08:11,607 --> 00:08:14,075
Bath towels big enough to dry yourself off?
155
00:08:15,127 --> 00:08:17,197
Our standard bath towels, sir.
156
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:19,283
I'll have the room in the Anson Suite.
157
00:08:19,327 --> 00:08:20,840
Very good, sir.
158
00:08:20,887 --> 00:08:22,878
Do enjoy your stay with us.
159
00:08:25,167 --> 00:08:27,158
You missed me, didn't you?
160
00:08:29,607 --> 00:08:31,598
Terribly.
161
00:08:33,367 --> 00:08:36,677
- Hello, Sandy.
- Oh, hello, Mr Hardcastle.
162
00:08:36,727 --> 00:08:38,877
- Is she?
- She's out.
163
00:08:40,047 --> 00:08:44,199
You're the one who informed me Miss Pargetter
would be out for ten years.
164
00:08:44,247 --> 00:08:46,522
- I just do as I'm told.
- Mmm.
165
00:08:47,607 --> 00:08:49,598
I'll wait.
166
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,439
- Miss Pargetter is out.
- So you say.
167
00:09:02,607 --> 00:09:05,167
Lovely, aren't they?
168
00:09:05,207 --> 00:09:07,243
I stole these from a cemetery.
169
00:09:08,887 --> 00:09:11,117
When will she be back? And don't say ten years.
170
00:09:11,167 --> 00:09:15,080
She's a very busy woman.
Those are from your publisher, by the way.
171
00:09:15,127 --> 00:09:17,163
Really?
172
00:09:17,207 --> 00:09:18,879
Yours are very sweet too.
173
00:09:18,927 --> 00:09:21,919
- Thank you. Would you like them?
- No, thank you.
174
00:09:21,967 --> 00:09:23,685
Ah.
175
00:09:23,727 --> 00:09:27,083
- Oh. It's you.
- Yes, it is.
176
00:09:27,127 --> 00:09:31,598
Mr Hardcastle insisted on waiting.
He's brought you some lovely flowers.
177
00:09:35,407 --> 00:09:38,558
Perhaps you can find an ink well to put them in.
178
00:09:39,167 --> 00:09:41,442
They're sweet.
179
00:09:41,487 --> 00:09:43,762
- Those are from Alis...
- I know.
180
00:09:50,087 --> 00:09:52,647
How was your night cap in Norwich?
181
00:09:52,687 --> 00:09:54,678
Rather flattering, to tell the truth.
182
00:09:54,727 --> 00:09:58,436
- How was your overnight accommodation?
- She slung me out.
183
00:09:58,487 --> 00:10:01,320
I don't see why you're flattered
by a 12-year-old boy.
184
00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:03,005
- Don't you?
- No, I don't.
185
00:10:03,047 --> 00:10:05,481
- What's funny?
- You being slung out.
186
00:10:05,527 --> 00:10:09,645
He's not exactly what you call
a well-rounded character, is he?
187
00:10:09,687 --> 00:10:11,962
Who says I'm interested
in well-rounded characters?
188
00:10:12,007 --> 00:10:14,362
- He's an intellectual vacuum.
- Good-looking.
189
00:10:15,927 --> 00:10:18,600
I didn't know you were coming to Norwich.
190
00:10:18,647 --> 00:10:20,239
Why did you come, anyway?
191
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:22,278
To hear your lecture.
192
00:10:22,927 --> 00:10:24,645
What if you had known?
193
00:10:24,687 --> 00:10:26,359
Well...
194
00:10:26,407 --> 00:10:28,841
I only knew Denise on and off, you know.
195
00:10:29,487 --> 00:10:32,479
You could have phrased that more delicately.
196
00:10:34,727 --> 00:10:37,002
If you think Alistair is an intellectual vacuum,
197
00:10:37,047 --> 00:10:39,607
then Denise must rank
as an intellectual black hole.
198
00:10:39,647 --> 00:10:41,080
- Must have.
- What?
199
00:10:41,127 --> 00:10:44,676
Must have ranked,
I shan't be seeing her again.
200
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,285
Send her some flowers.
201
00:10:46,327 --> 00:10:48,158
You're very flippant today.
202
00:10:48,207 --> 00:10:50,767
- I've acquired a new branch office.
- Oh.
203
00:10:50,807 --> 00:10:53,116
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
204
00:10:53,167 --> 00:10:55,476
- Do you really think he's good-looking?
- Yes.
205
00:10:55,527 --> 00:10:57,438
Strange taste.
206
00:10:57,487 --> 00:11:00,365
- I thought you were good-looking.
- Did you?
207
00:11:00,407 --> 00:11:02,841
Well, yes, I suppose I was.
208
00:11:02,887 --> 00:11:05,526
Anyway, about Alistair,
it's because of him I'm here.
209
00:11:06,327 --> 00:11:08,318
- What do you mean?
- The book.
210
00:11:08,367 --> 00:11:12,645
- I have to do more damn revisions.
- And you need secretarial assistance.
211
00:11:12,687 --> 00:11:15,201
I'm back at the hotel, so it's proper.
212
00:11:15,247 --> 00:11:16,885
Could I have, er, Sandy?
213
00:11:17,727 --> 00:11:20,560
- She's my secretary.
- I know, but I like her.
214
00:11:20,607 --> 00:11:23,565
- Does she like you?
- I shouldn't think so. We get on.
215
00:11:23,607 --> 00:11:25,438
- I'll ask her.
- Tell her.
216
00:11:25,487 --> 00:11:27,318
Ask.
217
00:11:29,087 --> 00:11:32,079
Yes, all right, why not?
I'm battle-hardened now.
218
00:11:32,127 --> 00:11:35,802
- I'll send someone else if you like.
- No, I like him.
219
00:11:35,847 --> 00:11:38,919
- Why?
- That's a funny question coming from you.
220
00:11:38,967 --> 00:11:42,437
- You were in love with him, weren't you?
- Oh, Judith's been chattering.
221
00:11:42,487 --> 00:11:44,842
Well, weren't you?
222
00:11:44,887 --> 00:11:47,720
Well, it was a long time ago.
223
00:11:48,327 --> 00:11:51,160
I wasn't in love long enough
to know whether I liked him.
224
00:11:51,207 --> 00:11:55,120
Well, I do. I shouldn't really,
because I don't think he likes me.
225
00:11:55,167 --> 00:11:56,964
Well, off you go, then.
226
00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:59,965
You two have a basis for a beautiful friendship.
227
00:12:01,687 --> 00:12:06,283
Page 37, I refer to a Colonel Austin.
228
00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:09,361
- Yes.
- I describe him as tall.
229
00:12:09,407 --> 00:12:13,082
- True.
- Right. Now, then, add...
230
00:12:13,127 --> 00:12:14,606
"with a moustache".
231
00:12:15,847 --> 00:12:18,441
- What sort of moustache?
- I don't know, a moustache.
232
00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:20,443
You know, hair on the upper lip.
233
00:12:20,487 --> 00:12:24,162
- Tall with a moustache.
- Correct.
234
00:12:24,207 --> 00:12:26,198
- Next.
- What about his wife?
235
00:12:26,247 --> 00:12:29,319
- What about his wife?
- Did she have a moustache?
236
00:12:29,927 --> 00:12:31,918
Course she didn't. You being facetious?
237
00:12:31,967 --> 00:12:34,276
No, but you don't describe her at all.
238
00:12:34,327 --> 00:12:35,885
She's just a blob.
239
00:12:35,927 --> 00:12:38,919
"Colonel Austin's wife", poor woman.
240
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:41,606
She won't mind, she must be dead by now.
241
00:12:41,647 --> 00:12:45,117
- You decided to describe everybody.
- All right, all right.
242
00:12:45,167 --> 00:12:47,283
Colonel Austin's wife...
243
00:12:49,207 --> 00:12:53,166
- I can't remember what she looked like.
- Invent. Poetic licence.
244
00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:56,404
- This isn't a work of fiction.
- I think you should say something.
245
00:12:56,447 --> 00:13:01,441
All right. "Colonel Austin's wife,
whom I don't remember very well".
246
00:13:01,487 --> 00:13:03,398
You can't put that.
247
00:13:03,447 --> 00:13:06,041
Then put "Colonel Austin's wife, a blob".
248
00:13:08,207 --> 00:13:11,597
- You're not enjoying this, are you?
- Is it worth it?
249
00:13:11,647 --> 00:13:14,161
It's just a book, I wrote it.
250
00:13:14,207 --> 00:13:16,926
Alistair talked about publishing it.
251
00:13:16,967 --> 00:13:20,323
Now all I get is,
"We love it, but keep on mucking about with it."
252
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:22,642
Think of it as polishing a diamond.
253
00:13:22,687 --> 00:13:26,123
That really does require
a leap of the imagination.
254
00:13:26,167 --> 00:13:30,843
- Where were we?
- You described Colonel Austin's wife as a blob.
255
00:13:30,887 --> 00:13:33,037
Leave her for a bit.
256
00:13:33,087 --> 00:13:35,396
Oh, leave it all for a bit.
257
00:13:36,127 --> 00:13:40,643
Look, I hate to sound like a hooker,
but you are paying for my time.
258
00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:44,043
Let's assume I'm resting
between bouts of ecstasy.
259
00:13:46,887 --> 00:13:49,401
- Would you like a mint?
- No, thank you.
260
00:13:51,567 --> 00:13:53,125
Miss Pargetter.
261
00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:54,725
What about her?
262
00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:57,440
What was she like, when you first met her?
263
00:13:58,527 --> 00:14:00,358
Young.
264
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:02,477
Go on.
265
00:14:02,527 --> 00:14:05,246
There was a warmth about her.
266
00:14:05,287 --> 00:14:09,678
Oh, she had a temper,
her eyes could go quite flinty.
267
00:14:11,287 --> 00:14:13,118
She had that rarest of qualities.
268
00:14:13,167 --> 00:14:16,398
The ability to forgive
without a hint of rancour.
269
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,598
She never tried to be anything.
270
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:24,280
She was someone
you never wanted to hurt.
271
00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:27,603
I remember once...
272
00:14:28,807 --> 00:14:30,445
Yes?
273
00:14:32,327 --> 00:14:34,318
And she was short.
274
00:14:36,607 --> 00:14:38,086
Funny.
275
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:41,199
- What is?
- You got almost poetic there.
276
00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:44,762
And all you can remember
of Colonel Austin's wife many years later
277
00:14:44,807 --> 00:14:46,240
is that she was just a blob.
278
00:14:46,287 --> 00:14:49,802
I didn't share the same experience
with Mrs Austin.
279
00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:53,760
- Makes a difference.
- Well, obviously it makes a difference.
280
00:14:53,807 --> 00:14:57,038
- Anything else?
- Shall we get on?
281
00:14:57,087 --> 00:14:59,555
Whenever you like.
282
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,005
Page...
283
00:15:02,927 --> 00:15:05,441
If Alistair hadn't mentioned a film, I'd burn this.
284
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:07,079
Tons of money in a film.
285
00:15:07,127 --> 00:15:09,595
He talked about Robert Redford playing me.
286
00:15:12,927 --> 00:15:16,397
All right. He tends to get carried away,
it is absurd.
287
00:15:16,447 --> 00:15:18,677
Of course it is, anyway he's too old.
288
00:15:18,727 --> 00:15:20,206
- Do you think so?
- Yes.
289
00:15:20,247 --> 00:15:23,080
You're a young man at the start of the book.
290
00:15:24,087 --> 00:15:25,884
We're not getting on.
291
00:15:25,927 --> 00:15:28,441
Weren't you resting
between bouts of ecstasy?
292
00:15:28,487 --> 00:15:31,001
No, between bouts of bewilderment.
293
00:15:31,047 --> 00:15:35,040
Look at it, My Life In Kenya.
Make a film out of it?
294
00:15:35,087 --> 00:15:38,682
I can't even make a book out of it.
Bloody publishers!
295
00:15:40,527 --> 00:15:44,440
- Well, that wasn't very clever, was it?
- Well, I don't feel very clever.
296
00:15:45,327 --> 00:15:47,124
- How's it going?
- Oh.
297
00:15:47,167 --> 00:15:49,920
Ah. It can't have been a gust of wind,
298
00:15:49,967 --> 00:15:52,640
- it must have been a fit of pique.
- I'm fed up with it.
299
00:15:52,687 --> 00:15:56,157
- What are you doing here?
- Popped in to see how things were.
300
00:15:56,207 --> 00:15:58,198
That just about says it, really.
301
00:16:00,767 --> 00:16:03,281
- Come on.
- You're the secretary.
302
00:16:03,327 --> 00:16:05,602
You threw the papers on the floor.
303
00:16:05,647 --> 00:16:08,639
What's the problem,
apart from the bad temper?
304
00:16:09,447 --> 00:16:11,517
Well, it's this humanising business.
305
00:16:11,567 --> 00:16:13,956
Alistair thought if I described
the characters more fully...
306
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:16,316
- That's a good idea.
- Only he can't.
307
00:16:16,367 --> 00:16:18,642
Just because I can't remember
what Colonel's wife looked like.
308
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:23,397
It's not her. Those you have described
are like descriptions in a passport.
309
00:16:23,447 --> 00:16:26,007
They're either short people or tall people.
310
00:16:26,047 --> 00:16:27,924
People are either short or tall.
311
00:16:27,967 --> 00:16:30,765
- Unless they're of medium height.
- You don't have to stay.
312
00:16:30,807 --> 00:16:32,286
I can't, I've got a lunch.
313
00:16:32,327 --> 00:16:35,478
One person he described beautifully,
and she's not in the book.
314
00:16:35,527 --> 00:16:37,563
- Who's that?
- You.
315
00:16:40,127 --> 00:16:43,244
- I see.
- You came up in the conversation.
316
00:16:44,167 --> 00:16:46,601
- Why?
- It was my fault.
317
00:16:46,647 --> 00:16:50,799
- There you are.
- It was never your forté, gallantry, was it?
318
00:16:50,847 --> 00:16:54,999
The way I feel at the moment,
I don't have a forté of any kind at all.
319
00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:57,686
Oh, look, you can't give up now.
320
00:16:57,727 --> 00:17:02,278
- Well, perhaps if you help.
- Me? I don't know about humanising.
321
00:17:02,327 --> 00:17:03,919
Ask Alistair.
322
00:17:03,967 --> 00:17:06,481
I'm not crawling back to him.
He told me what he wanted.
323
00:17:06,527 --> 00:17:10,998
If say I don't know what he's talking about,
I'll look like a silly old fool.
324
00:17:12,167 --> 00:17:14,397
Oh, well, I've got to go to lunch.
325
00:17:17,407 --> 00:17:19,523
- Oh, look, Lionel.
- Hmm?
326
00:17:19,567 --> 00:17:22,684
Come to my house this evening,
I'll try and help.
327
00:17:22,727 --> 00:17:26,959
- I wouldn't want to be a nuisance.
- Don't go humble, it doesn't suit you.
328
00:17:27,007 --> 00:17:29,521
- Eightish?
- Thanks.
329
00:17:29,567 --> 00:17:31,558
Don't bother to get up.
330
00:17:36,047 --> 00:17:39,596
- This is going to take hours.
- Oh, bugger it, let's have some lunch.
331
00:17:39,647 --> 00:17:41,683
I don't usually lunch with clients.
332
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:45,003
- Think of me as a sinking ship.
- Oh, that's all right.
333
00:17:45,047 --> 00:17:47,038
I always have lunch with sinking ships.
334
00:17:49,167 --> 00:17:52,716
Do you think we can have it on the floor?
I've stiffened up.
335
00:17:57,407 --> 00:17:58,556
I'll go.
336
00:17:58,607 --> 00:18:00,120
Are you decent?
337
00:18:00,167 --> 00:18:02,317
Incredibly.
338
00:18:03,927 --> 00:18:06,919
- Hello, Lionel.
- Hello, Judith. Oh, going out?
339
00:18:07,567 --> 00:18:11,162
- Hello.
- Does she always opens the door like that?
340
00:18:11,207 --> 00:18:13,641
- Like what?
- So quickly.
341
00:18:13,687 --> 00:18:16,963
Most people peer out first,
she flings it wide open.
342
00:18:17,007 --> 00:18:20,795
- I never thought of it.
- Something to do with body language.
343
00:18:20,847 --> 00:18:24,237
- Do you know much about body language?
- Very inhibiting, I know that.
344
00:18:24,287 --> 00:18:29,805
We're now unable to sit comfortably without
making it a sexual invitation or a rebuff.
345
00:18:29,847 --> 00:18:31,599
Do sit down.
346
00:18:36,727 --> 00:18:41,039
- What's that?
- Oh, this is gratitude.
347
00:18:41,847 --> 00:18:45,078
- I bought you these.
- Oh, thank you.
348
00:18:45,127 --> 00:18:48,961
- Don't tell me. Alistair.
- It's getting silly, isn't it?
349
00:18:49,007 --> 00:18:52,682
- You should never have encouraged him.
- Don't let's start that again.
350
00:18:52,727 --> 00:18:54,126
Have you eaten?
351
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:56,078
Well, I tried a club sandwich at the hotel,
352
00:18:56,127 --> 00:18:59,119
but it tasted as though
it had been made during the Blitz.
353
00:18:59,167 --> 00:19:01,965
- Scrambled eggs all right?
- Excellent.
354
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:06,762
I should have brought some wine but I suppose
you've already got a few case from Alistair.
355
00:19:06,807 --> 00:19:08,798
Only a couple.
356
00:19:19,487 --> 00:19:21,478
I think the box is garish, anyway.
357
00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:23,722
Oh. Big, though.
358
00:19:23,767 --> 00:19:26,520
Yes. Do I look all right?
359
00:19:27,727 --> 00:19:30,036
You look very good indeed.
360
00:19:30,087 --> 00:19:33,921
- I don't like my body.
- I've never met a woman who does.
361
00:19:34,887 --> 00:19:36,559
I do, for what it's worth.
362
00:19:37,327 --> 00:19:38,840
Thank you.
363
00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:41,959
Mum will never eat all those.
There must be half a hundredweight there.
364
00:19:42,007 --> 00:19:44,760
He should be sending them to you, really.
365
00:19:44,807 --> 00:19:47,367
- Ah. Indelicate?
- Stupid.
366
00:19:47,407 --> 00:19:50,205
- Oh.
- No, not you, me.
367
00:19:50,247 --> 00:19:54,399
If Mum's in the same room,
I might as well be wallpaper to Alistair.
368
00:19:54,447 --> 00:19:56,517
- Plain wallpaper.
- What is it about this man?
369
00:19:56,567 --> 00:19:59,365
He's a silly twerp who can't speak English.
370
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:01,477
No, he's very clever actually.
371
00:20:01,527 --> 00:20:06,043
He's good-looking,
funny, well-off, successful.
372
00:20:06,087 --> 00:20:08,362
Well, if you're going to go for the obvious.
373
00:20:09,727 --> 00:20:12,844
- Where are you going?
- I am eating with a crowd.
374
00:20:12,887 --> 00:20:14,286
Less than a thousand?
375
00:20:14,327 --> 00:20:18,479
Well, seven or nine.
Has to be an odd number to include me.
376
00:20:18,527 --> 00:20:24,284
Twice divorced, lives with her mother,
good sport and not really a threat.
377
00:20:24,327 --> 00:20:28,479
If that's what the women in the party think
then they don't have eyes.
378
00:20:30,247 --> 00:20:31,965
What a nice thing to say.
379
00:20:32,007 --> 00:20:34,805
It's not like me, I must be mellowing.
380
00:20:36,047 --> 00:20:38,242
I must be going. Bye, Mum.
381
00:20:38,287 --> 00:20:40,596
Have a nice time!
382
00:20:40,647 --> 00:20:44,083
- I must go.
- Go on, then, be a threat.
383
00:20:47,327 --> 00:20:49,477
Bye.
Bye.
384
00:20:49,527 --> 00:20:51,722
I hope they're scrambled
and not beaten to death.
385
00:20:51,767 --> 00:20:53,359
Thank you.
386
00:20:54,527 --> 00:20:56,643
I've never tasted your cooking.
387
00:20:56,687 --> 00:21:01,397
If you said that to me 38 years ago,
I'd have been a nervous wreck.
388
00:21:01,447 --> 00:21:03,961
- Mm, very good.
- Then I'd have glowed.
389
00:21:05,007 --> 00:21:08,283
Then I'd have thought,
"My God, she can cook as well."
390
00:21:09,007 --> 00:21:12,079
- Then, then, then.
- Yes.
391
00:21:13,007 --> 00:21:14,884
Let's have some wine.
392
00:21:14,927 --> 00:21:18,158
- Not really Alistair's, is it?
- What if it were?
393
00:21:18,207 --> 00:21:20,801
I'd still drink it. I'd pull a lot of faces, though.
394
00:21:25,047 --> 00:21:26,685
There's no good sulking.
395
00:21:26,727 --> 00:21:30,083
I'm not sulking.
I can accept constructive criticism.
396
00:21:30,127 --> 00:21:35,485
The book, to me, is a cross between a handbook
for growing coffee and a guide to Kenya.
397
00:21:35,527 --> 00:21:37,518
- And that's constructive?
- Yes.
398
00:21:37,567 --> 00:21:41,037
It doesn't it reveal anything about the author.
My Life In Kenya.
399
00:21:41,087 --> 00:21:42,805
- And that's a boring title?
- Agreed.
400
00:21:42,847 --> 00:21:45,281
But while it is the title,
who's the me in my?
401
00:21:45,327 --> 00:21:48,717
- Me, obviously.
- Then let your readers know about it.
402
00:21:48,767 --> 00:21:51,804
Let them know who you are,
drop a veil or two.
403
00:21:51,847 --> 00:21:53,758
I'm not a belly dancer.
404
00:21:53,807 --> 00:21:57,561
- What I'm like is not my readers' business.
- You don't have any readers.
405
00:21:57,607 --> 00:22:00,917
The book won't be published
unless you open up a bit.
406
00:22:00,967 --> 00:22:03,003
- All right, give me an example.
- Your wife.
407
00:22:03,047 --> 00:22:06,483
You didn't even
flick through the pages.
408
00:22:06,527 --> 00:22:08,757
- She just sprang to mind.
- Why?
409
00:22:08,807 --> 00:22:10,320
Well, as an example.
410
00:22:10,367 --> 00:22:13,484
You meet her, you marry,
you live together, and then you divorce.
411
00:22:13,527 --> 00:22:15,836
- Well, we did.
- It's so colourless.
412
00:22:15,887 --> 00:22:17,605
It was.
413
00:22:17,647 --> 00:22:19,638
Do you want me to help or not?
414
00:22:19,687 --> 00:22:21,439
Oh, let's watch television.
415
00:22:22,887 --> 00:22:24,684
All right, yes, I do.
416
00:22:26,447 --> 00:22:29,086
Right. Why did you marry her?
417
00:22:30,247 --> 00:22:32,522
Because she was there, I suppose.
418
00:22:33,407 --> 00:22:35,841
You make her sound like Everest.
419
00:22:35,887 --> 00:22:37,878
Well, she was tall.
420
00:22:38,847 --> 00:22:40,758
Willowy.
421
00:22:40,807 --> 00:22:44,117
Or bony, depending on which way you look at it.
422
00:22:44,167 --> 00:22:46,158
Not a laugher.
423
00:22:46,887 --> 00:22:50,846
The daughter of my neighbours
30 miles away along a bum-numbing track.
424
00:22:51,807 --> 00:22:53,798
The only single girl for miles.
425
00:22:53,847 --> 00:22:56,122
- You were lonely.
- Yes.
426
00:22:56,167 --> 00:22:59,284
I'd started talking to the dogs a lot.
427
00:22:59,327 --> 00:23:01,716
So I used to drive over on a Sunday, have tea,
428
00:23:01,767 --> 00:23:03,644
go for a stroll in the garden,
429
00:23:03,687 --> 00:23:07,316
then I'd numb my bum again
for 30 miles and get back home.
430
00:23:08,327 --> 00:23:13,082
Every time I got home I remembered her
as being much prettier than when I'd left her.
431
00:23:13,127 --> 00:23:15,595
She probably felt the same about you.
432
00:23:15,647 --> 00:23:17,444
Oh, I'm quite sure she did.
433
00:23:18,207 --> 00:23:20,641
So I got married, saved the travelling.
434
00:23:22,727 --> 00:23:24,843
It's pretty steamy stuff, isn't it?
435
00:23:24,887 --> 00:23:28,084
That's what I mean.
You should be in the first chapter.
436
00:23:28,127 --> 00:23:30,277
I was never in Africa.
437
00:23:30,327 --> 00:23:31,919
No.
438
00:23:31,967 --> 00:23:33,958
But if it's steam you're talking,
439
00:23:34,007 --> 00:23:36,760
we could have powered
several locomotives.
440
00:23:36,807 --> 00:23:39,037
Seems funny now.
441
00:23:39,087 --> 00:23:40,805
Absurd.
442
00:23:44,247 --> 00:23:46,238
Why did you divorce?
443
00:23:47,367 --> 00:23:49,676
New roads, more Brits immigrating,
444
00:23:49,727 --> 00:23:53,800
- social life tweaked up a notch.
- Someone else found her willowy?
445
00:23:53,847 --> 00:23:56,486
No, I found somebody rounded.
446
00:23:56,527 --> 00:23:58,563
- Oh?
- I'm not a saint.
447
00:23:58,607 --> 00:24:00,245
I thought you were.
448
00:24:01,407 --> 00:24:04,763
- What about you?
- Oh, I've had my moments.
449
00:24:04,807 --> 00:24:06,923
No, I mean, why did you marry?
450
00:24:06,967 --> 00:24:10,960
Well, it saved my bum from getting sore,
and not because he was there.
451
00:24:11,007 --> 00:24:13,475
- Oh, love.
- Obviously.
452
00:24:13,527 --> 00:24:15,643
- It's not obvious at all.
- Well, it was.
453
00:24:16,887 --> 00:24:18,479
Good.
454
00:24:18,527 --> 00:24:21,758
- I wonder what happened to that letter.
- What letter?
455
00:24:21,807 --> 00:24:25,277
You lose the thread of a conversation quickly
these days.
456
00:24:25,327 --> 00:24:27,636
The letter you wrote me from Korea.
457
00:24:27,687 --> 00:24:30,042
- The one you never received.
- Yes.
458
00:24:31,167 --> 00:24:33,476
It was a physical pain, not hearing from you.
459
00:24:33,527 --> 00:24:35,597
It was worse for me not hearing back.
460
00:24:35,647 --> 00:24:38,400
- Don't let's make a competition out of it.
- No.
461
00:24:39,767 --> 00:24:44,557
I suppose we thought we were the only two
young people with broken hearts in the world.
462
00:24:44,607 --> 00:24:46,245
It was horrible.
463
00:24:47,927 --> 00:24:52,318
- If only you'd got the letter.
- If only I'd got the letter.
464
00:24:52,367 --> 00:24:54,164
I wondered whether you'd been killed.
465
00:24:54,207 --> 00:24:57,643
- I was kicked by a mule.
- Yes, you told me.
466
00:24:57,687 --> 00:24:59,837
Oh, my God, I'm starting to repeat myself.
467
00:24:59,887 --> 00:25:02,401
No, you said you were nearly
kicked by a mule.
468
00:25:02,447 --> 00:25:05,325
No, he did catch me, a sort of glancing blow.
469
00:25:05,367 --> 00:25:07,005
Was it an enemy mule?
470
00:25:07,047 --> 00:25:09,038
- No, one of ours.
- Oh, good.
471
00:25:09,927 --> 00:25:12,919
- There's a little scar there somewhere.
- Really, where?
472
00:25:12,967 --> 00:25:14,958
Somewhere there.
473
00:25:15,567 --> 00:25:17,922
- I can't see it.
- Put your glasses on.
474
00:25:17,967 --> 00:25:20,845
It's your war wound,
you ought to know where it is.
475
00:25:20,887 --> 00:25:22,400
There, just there.
476
00:25:22,447 --> 00:25:24,403
Oh, yes.
477
00:25:25,327 --> 00:25:26,965
Oh...
478
00:25:28,967 --> 00:25:30,958
That's nice.
479
00:25:31,007 --> 00:25:32,804
It's yesterday.
480
00:25:32,847 --> 00:25:35,725
I know, but it's nice.
481
00:25:35,767 --> 00:25:38,759
It's only me.
482
00:25:39,887 --> 00:25:41,320
- Hello.
- Hello.
483
00:25:41,367 --> 00:25:42,800
Hello.
484
00:25:45,807 --> 00:25:47,798
I was a threat.
485
00:25:48,727 --> 00:25:51,639
- Good night, Mum. Night, Lionel.
- Good night.
486
00:25:51,687 --> 00:25:53,723
What did she mean?
487
00:25:53,767 --> 00:25:55,439
Oh, nothing.
488
00:25:56,727 --> 00:25:59,161
- Judy? Judy?
- What?
489
00:25:59,207 --> 00:26:03,041
- What do you mean you were a threat?
- Something Lionel said to me.
490
00:26:03,087 --> 00:26:05,043
- Oh?
- We were talking about Alistair.
491
00:26:05,087 --> 00:26:07,362
Oh, look, love, about Alistair...
492
00:26:07,407 --> 00:26:11,002
You don't have to worry about him,
I was thinking about him at dinner.
493
00:26:11,047 --> 00:26:15,086
- While you were being a threat?
- And I suddenly got him into perspective.
494
00:26:15,127 --> 00:26:18,483
He's nice enough, but, well, it's all glitz, really.
495
00:26:18,527 --> 00:26:20,404
Oh, good.
496
00:26:20,447 --> 00:26:24,884
Whereas Lionel, he made me feel better
about myself in two minutes tonight,
497
00:26:24,927 --> 00:26:27,964
than someone like Alistair could do in two years.
498
00:26:29,087 --> 00:26:30,839
The wisdom of the ancients.
499
00:26:32,687 --> 00:26:36,123
He's not ancient, I think he's gorgeous.
500
00:26:44,327 --> 00:26:46,602
Is everything all right?
501
00:26:46,647 --> 00:26:48,797
Everything's fine...
502
00:26:48,847 --> 00:26:50,439
gorgeous.
503
00:26:59,887 --> 00:27:02,685
# You must remember this
504
00:27:02,727 --> 00:27:05,321
# A kiss is still a kiss
505
00:27:05,367 --> 00:27:08,564
# A sigh is just a sigh
506
00:27:10,767 --> 00:27:14,442
# The fundamental things apply
507
00:27:14,487 --> 00:27:18,321
# As time goes by
508
00:27:21,647 --> 00:27:24,320
# And when two lovers woo
509
00:27:24,367 --> 00:27:26,927
# They still say I love you
510
00:27:26,967 --> 00:27:30,004
# On that you can rely
511
00:27:32,727 --> 00:27:37,039
# The world will always welcome lovers
512
00:27:38,367 --> 00:27:46,160
# As time goes by #
513
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:57,160
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