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1
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,740
He worked here for a while,
but he's not...
2
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,640
They're coming
to pick this up.
3
00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:12,470
Watch it like hawks,
please.
4
00:00:12,540 --> 00:00:14,380
Don't open it.
5
00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:25,590
Hot brownies.
6
00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:27,090
No, no.
7
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,090
Okay, he's not
out there.
8
00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:32,460
I bet it's them counterfeit
phone-cards they got.
9
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:40,740
Come here!
10
00:00:44,540 --> 00:00:46,370
Oh! Ahh!
11
00:00:48,910 --> 00:00:50,110
Oh-ah! Oh!
12
00:01:27,850 --> 00:01:30,390
Free drinks for
law enforcement is a...
13
00:01:30,450 --> 00:01:32,720
That's a dangerous idea.
14
00:01:32,790 --> 00:01:35,220
It's not every night,
is it at that place?
15
00:01:35,290 --> 00:01:36,560
Junior: Tuesdays.
16
00:01:38,130 --> 00:01:39,730
Guinness and bailey's --
car bombs.
17
00:01:39,790 --> 00:01:43,160
Oh, dear lord,
were they good.
18
00:01:43,230 --> 00:01:45,470
Morning, sunshine.
19
00:01:45,530 --> 00:01:48,600
Can we turn off some of
the lights in here, please?
20
00:01:48,670 --> 00:01:52,910
Did everybody see garcia
all up on johnson?
21
00:01:52,970 --> 00:01:54,240
Ooh!
22
00:01:54,310 --> 00:01:57,080
Like a little koala bear.
23
00:01:57,150 --> 00:02:00,580
On behalf of the male half
of the department,
24
00:02:00,650 --> 00:02:02,720
I apologize
for garcia.
25
00:02:02,780 --> 00:02:05,850
You know that old-man
perseverance...
26
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,060
Here's the horny toad
himself.
27
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,530
What's up,
heartache?
28
00:02:10,590 --> 00:02:12,660
Trudy: I saw an "america's
most wanted" last night
29
00:02:12,730 --> 00:02:14,360
that I'd never seen before,
30
00:02:14,430 --> 00:02:15,900
so it was actually good
that I'd stayed home.
31
00:02:18,070 --> 00:02:21,540
Jim: The first thing on the
agenda -- building operations.
32
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,240
The memo is spinning, I'm gonna
set it down for a second.
33
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:26,410
Excuse me.
34
00:02:26,470 --> 00:02:29,540
Why are you wearing
garcia's shirt?
35
00:02:29,610 --> 00:02:31,550
Raineesha:
Hoo-hoo!
36
00:02:33,450 --> 00:02:35,380
Ooh!
37
00:02:35,450 --> 00:02:37,690
Oh, what did you do?
38
00:02:37,750 --> 00:02:39,350
What do you think we did?
39
00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:41,860
Clemmy took a little
moustache ride this morning.
40
00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:43,360
Jim: Oh...
41
00:02:43,420 --> 00:02:44,690
Ohh!
42
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,860
Did you see that?
I'll do it again.
43
00:02:46,930 --> 00:02:48,930
I'll do it again, see?
44
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,270
Go change shirts.
45
00:02:50,330 --> 00:02:52,370
Stop kissing
and go change shirts.
46
00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,940
What just
happened there?
47
00:03:01,010 --> 00:03:04,280
Somebody, you dropped
a pot or something!
48
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,850
A nice, potted plant
fell down here.
49
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,880
Woman: You're going to have
to drag me out of here,
50
00:03:09,950 --> 00:03:11,520
you [bleep] cops!
51
00:03:11,590 --> 00:03:14,720
...for all these years
for [bleep]
52
00:03:14,790 --> 00:03:18,130
I'm not leaving
so some developers...
53
00:03:18,190 --> 00:03:21,660
Just calm down, mrs. --
hey [bleep]
54
00:03:21,730 --> 00:03:24,270
...to the real criminals!
I am not going!
55
00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:26,600
You're going to have
to drag me out!
56
00:03:26,670 --> 00:03:29,640
We've only come
to evict you!
57
00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:33,210
I hope I hit one of you,
you sons of bitches.
58
00:03:33,270 --> 00:03:34,540
Oh, incoming!
59
00:03:34,610 --> 00:03:36,210
Yikes!
60
00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,410
Incoming!
61
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,350
Sooner or later, you're going
to run out of plants!
62
00:03:41,420 --> 00:03:42,920
Hey, heads up!
63
00:03:42,980 --> 00:03:44,050
Oh!
64
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:45,420
God!
65
00:03:45,490 --> 00:03:46,920
In -- look out!
66
00:03:46,990 --> 00:03:48,420
No way!
67
00:03:48,490 --> 00:03:50,430
No way!
And I'm going to --
68
00:03:51,990 --> 00:03:54,700
you're headed for club fed,
bitch, you understand that?
69
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,730
Oh, that's it!
That's it, bitch!
70
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:58,400
Take her out.
71
00:03:58,470 --> 00:04:01,070
Yeah!
72
00:04:23,220 --> 00:04:26,660
Garcia is like the little
mexican that could, you know?
73
00:04:26,730 --> 00:04:29,600
He's been trying and trying
and trying to mount that woman,
74
00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,270
and he finally
got over the top.
75
00:04:31,330 --> 00:04:32,900
I'm real happy for him.
76
00:04:32,970 --> 00:04:35,900
Was it devastating enough
that you won't go back,
77
00:04:35,970 --> 00:04:38,640
or will you
do it again?
78
00:04:38,710 --> 00:04:40,980
I'm gonna do it again.
79
00:04:42,710 --> 00:04:45,650
I already know I'm going
to do it again, you guys.
80
00:04:45,710 --> 00:04:46,980
Why?
81
00:04:47,050 --> 00:04:49,250
Ew.
82
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,220
I did some more shots,
83
00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:54,220
and then someone
was rubbing my neck,
84
00:04:54,290 --> 00:04:57,360
and it felt so good,
85
00:04:57,430 --> 00:04:58,990
and I was like,
86
00:04:59,060 --> 00:05:01,730
"I know I should stop this,
but I just don't want to,"
87
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,230
you know what I mean?
88
00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:04,230
Ewww.
89
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:06,100
It was feeling
really good --
90
00:05:06,170 --> 00:05:08,240
like, if I looked down
and saw the hands,
91
00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:10,570
then it kind of made me go,
[Shuddering] Ugh.
92
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:14,040
But I didn't want it to stop,
so I just let him keep going,
93
00:05:14,110 --> 00:05:16,980
and then I just did some
more shots, and then...
94
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,910
He was, like,
whispering in my ear.
95
00:05:18,980 --> 00:05:21,280
You know how when someone
whispers in your ear,
96
00:05:21,350 --> 00:05:22,920
and you get all
goosey-bumpy?
97
00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:25,620
Did he have, like,
old-man breath?
98
00:05:25,690 --> 00:05:26,950
Yes.
99
00:05:28,790 --> 00:05:31,930
Details, details,
boy, spill it.
100
00:05:31,990 --> 00:05:33,430
Do tell.
101
00:05:33,490 --> 00:05:35,800
Well...
102
00:05:35,860 --> 00:05:37,570
I ain't going
to lie to you.
103
00:05:37,630 --> 00:05:42,340
Alcohol did lower
my inhibitions a little bit.
104
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:46,170
I started talking maybe
more than I should have.
105
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:48,410
I felt...
106
00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:51,250
Like a...
107
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:54,720
Young child
being taken care of.
108
00:05:54,780 --> 00:05:57,320
Her lips were soft...
109
00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:58,820
And, uh...
110
00:05:58,890 --> 00:06:01,020
Kisses so sweet.
111
00:06:02,990 --> 00:06:05,260
The smell of...
112
00:06:05,330 --> 00:06:08,660
A soul mate coming to...
113
00:06:08,730 --> 00:06:11,970
Find his soul mate.
114
00:06:12,030 --> 00:06:14,200
Did you get
a [bleep] too?
115
00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,580
Call for backup.
116
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,550
Okay, here's how it's
going to go --
117
00:06:24,610 --> 00:06:26,480
I'll take the front,
you take the back.
118
00:06:26,550 --> 00:06:28,080
Yes, sir.
119
00:06:29,620 --> 00:06:31,990
How about, uh, I take the front,
you take the back?
120
00:06:32,050 --> 00:06:34,120
Uh, how about --
garcia, you take the back --
121
00:06:34,190 --> 00:06:36,090
you take the window,
I'll take the front.
122
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,030
Hell, no, I got seniority.
I'm taking front.
123
00:06:38,090 --> 00:06:40,030
I go on the roof.
You take the back.
124
00:06:40,090 --> 00:06:42,000
You take the roof --
wiegel!
125
00:06:42,060 --> 00:06:43,430
Yes.
126
00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:45,930
Ooh!
127
00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,480
Oh, god!
God, god!
128
00:06:56,540 --> 00:06:59,180
God, god, god!
129
00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:01,050
Uh...
130
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,280
Stay still.
Don't move, junior.
131
00:07:03,350 --> 00:07:06,390
I'm trying to lay still,
you stupid...
132
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:19,200
♪ Support the police ♪
133
00:07:19,270 --> 00:07:20,300
♪ oh ♪
134
00:07:20,370 --> 00:07:22,400
♪ support the police ♪
135
00:07:22,470 --> 00:07:25,140
♪ people flip us the bird,
always disrespected ♪
136
00:07:25,210 --> 00:07:27,610
♪ I'm just doin' my job,
servin' and protectin' ♪
137
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,240
♪ walkin' the beat,
my badge is my bling-bling ♪
138
00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:32,610
♪ rob my street, I'll send
your ass to sing-sing ♪
139
00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,080
♪ rollin' in the roller,
cruisin' in the cruiser ♪
140
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:37,820
♪ I'm "a" number one
and you's a 3-time loser ♪
141
00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:39,650
♪ ...and $40 fine ♪
142
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,720
♪ I put the "cop"
in "cop a feel" ♪
143
00:07:42,790 --> 00:07:45,130
♪ step out of line,
your ass is mine ♪
144
00:07:45,190 --> 00:07:47,860
♪ tell the judge,
'cause you got no appeal ♪
145
00:07:47,930 --> 00:07:50,030
♪ ho's in the backseat,
I'm ridin' shotgun ♪
146
00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:51,270
♪ you want my digits? ♪
147
00:07:51,330 --> 00:07:52,570
♪ Call 9-1-1 ♪
148
00:07:52,630 --> 00:07:54,400
♪ I'm the man in reno ♪
149
00:07:54,470 --> 00:07:57,740
♪ the police, the 5-0, a c-o-p
in the county of washoe ♪
150
00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,970
♪ count on my protection
on comin' through ♪
151
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,780
♪ don't disrespect me
and I won't shoot you ♪
152
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,050
♪ you down with c-o-p? ♪
153
00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:06,210
♪ You down with c-o-p? ♪
154
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:07,420
♪ Reno s.D. ♪
155
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:08,520
♪ You down with c-o-p? ♪
156
00:08:08,580 --> 00:08:09,920
♪ Reno s.D. ♪
157
00:08:09,980 --> 00:08:11,650
♪ So, punk the police ♪
158
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,550
♪ peace ♪
159
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:23,430
If you ask me if I believe
he bagged clemmy,
160
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:26,930
no, I don't believe
he did it.
161
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,770
I challenge him to --
162
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:31,940
[ chuckling ]
He did it.
163
00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:34,280
She told us
all about it.
164
00:08:34,340 --> 00:08:36,110
Details.
165
00:08:36,180 --> 00:08:38,110
Where you going?
166
00:08:38,180 --> 00:08:42,050
Wh-- he's such
a crybaby.
167
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,050
He just don't want
nobody else to get none
168
00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:45,390
if he ain't getting none.
169
00:08:45,450 --> 00:08:47,820
Jonesy,
I'll give you some!
170
00:08:52,860 --> 00:08:55,830
Well, I'm just going
to pull over for a second,
171
00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:57,600
if that's okay
with you.
172
00:08:57,670 --> 00:08:59,670
Sure, I mean, if you need
to take a rest
173
00:08:59,730 --> 00:09:01,800
and you want me
to drive or something...
174
00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,710
Ow! My back.
175
00:09:08,780 --> 00:09:10,140
Oh, I'm sorry.
176
00:09:10,210 --> 00:09:12,150
Here we go.
177
00:09:12,210 --> 00:09:15,320
Wow...a bunch of rocks.
178
00:09:15,380 --> 00:09:18,250
Really?
179
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:22,590
They've been, uh,
infused with my energy.
180
00:09:24,930 --> 00:09:26,460
Holy cow.
181
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,300
[ Panting ]
Okay, okay.
182
00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:31,700
All right.
183
00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:34,970
Ho, ho, ho!
184
00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:36,670
What? Ouch!
185
00:09:36,740 --> 00:09:40,440
Last night was a jump start,
and I got feelings,
186
00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:42,880
and I want
to do this right.
187
00:09:42,940 --> 00:09:46,010
I know, but we can
do it right later.
188
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,450
Right now
let's just do it wrong.
189
00:09:52,350 --> 00:09:55,490
You know,
I cannot believe
190
00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:57,160
that clemmy went there.
191
00:09:57,220 --> 00:09:59,330
I cannot believe it.
I cannot believe it.
192
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,960
I really, really thought,
even though they were low,
193
00:10:02,030 --> 00:10:04,170
I thought
she had standards.
194
00:10:04,230 --> 00:10:07,840
My whole picture of the world
is a little bit like --
195
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:09,900
it's like I saw a video
196
00:10:09,970 --> 00:10:13,670
of princess di
porking a dog or something.
197
00:10:13,740 --> 00:10:15,680
Or like,
"hey, we panned down,
198
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:19,050
we found the other part of the
mona lisa where you see [bleep]"
199
00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:24,450
Oh, we got a call
this morning...
200
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:25,950
Suspicious person...
201
00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:28,390
Trespassing
on people's lawns.
202
00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:30,560
That's big mike
up to something.
203
00:10:30,620 --> 00:10:32,890
Crystal meth
and schnapps
204
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:36,000
have turned his brain
into a sponge.
205
00:10:36,060 --> 00:10:37,530
What the hell
is he up to?
206
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,270
He's stealing newspapers.
Look at that.
207
00:10:39,330 --> 00:10:41,140
Just took the newspaper
off that door.
208
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:42,400
Sheriff's department!
209
00:10:42,470 --> 00:10:43,570
Mike?
210
00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:44,910
Mike, no!
211
00:10:44,970 --> 00:10:46,640
No, freeze right there.
212
00:10:46,710 --> 00:10:48,040
God damn it!
213
00:10:48,110 --> 00:10:49,810
No, no, no, no.
214
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:50,980
All right.
215
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:52,980
Stay right
by the porsche.
216
00:10:53,050 --> 00:10:55,250
What the hell
are you up to?
217
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,750
Just hanging out.
218
00:10:57,820 --> 00:10:59,820
Don't try and hide them
in the shirt, mike.
219
00:10:59,890 --> 00:11:02,260
I'm standing right here.
I'm four feet away from you.
220
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:03,590
What are you doing?
221
00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:05,430
Just getting
some papers.
222
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:07,500
He's going to run.
He's going to run.
223
00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:08,660
No!
224
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,830
Freeze! Freeze!
225
00:11:11,900 --> 00:11:13,670
Down.
Get down.
226
00:11:13,730 --> 00:11:15,670
On the ground,
on the ground.
227
00:11:15,740 --> 00:11:17,670
Oh, I slipped in poop.
228
00:11:17,740 --> 00:11:19,510
[Bleep] Damn it!
229
00:11:19,570 --> 00:11:21,680
Oh, man!
230
00:11:21,740 --> 00:11:24,110
Stay there.
231
00:11:24,180 --> 00:11:27,720
Come on, get up
out of this dog poop.
232
00:11:27,780 --> 00:11:29,480
Get up.
Move him over here.
233
00:11:29,550 --> 00:11:31,420
Oh, that's just
disgusting.
234
00:11:31,490 --> 00:11:34,290
You know what that is?
That's that [bleep] rottweiler.
235
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,190
He [bleep] like a man.
236
00:11:38,730 --> 00:11:41,060
Door's locked.
237
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:44,730
Did you leave
the keys in her?
238
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:46,270
Is your window down?
239
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:48,240
Do you want me to bust
the window with a rock?
240
00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:50,400
'Cause you can bust it.
241
00:11:50,470 --> 00:11:52,240
Hello!
242
00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:53,810
Oh [bleep]
this one's locked, too.
243
00:11:53,870 --> 00:11:54,910
I have to go to jail now.
244
00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:57,450
The officer's got me!
245
00:11:57,510 --> 00:11:59,610
Now, you stay put there,
mike, all right?
246
00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:01,780
You stay there!
247
00:12:01,850 --> 00:12:03,780
Oh.
248
00:12:03,850 --> 00:12:06,650
Nice work [bleep]
249
00:12:11,490 --> 00:12:13,860
Well, if I could
read your palm,
250
00:12:13,930 --> 00:12:16,730
I'd say that you have
a wonderful future
251
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,030
as a nice wife
and a homemaker
252
00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:22,240
and somebody that needs
to have a happy life.
253
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,040
I just --
254
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:27,540
if I could read palms,
but I can't, so...
255
00:12:27,610 --> 00:12:29,610
Actually,
this line says
256
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:33,180
that I've got three more
years on my bankruptcy.
257
00:12:33,250 --> 00:12:34,350
Oh.
258
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:37,020
We're one now,
you know?
259
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:38,350
We, uh --
260
00:12:38,420 --> 00:12:42,190
yeah, t-t-that's what
that means, we're one.
261
00:12:42,260 --> 00:12:44,660
It means
that you're my man.
262
00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:46,830
I'd like
to be your man.
263
00:12:46,890 --> 00:12:49,760
And, you know,
I would help you out
264
00:12:49,830 --> 00:12:53,070
if I had a fico score
that was above 480.
265
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,480
I'm happy
for clemmy and garcia.
266
00:13:05,580 --> 00:13:06,850
I mean...
267
00:13:06,910 --> 00:13:09,150
They're each just always
humping on something,
268
00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:11,150
they might as well
hump on each other.
269
00:13:11,220 --> 00:13:13,150
That's one less thing
to be humped on.
270
00:13:13,220 --> 00:13:15,290
I'm not surprised
that they got together.
271
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,560
The only thing i'm
really surprised about
272
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,390
is that he didn't
get a disease,
273
00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:20,960
you know
what I'm saying?
274
00:13:21,030 --> 00:13:23,060
Well, some diseases
take a couple weeks,
275
00:13:23,130 --> 00:13:24,730
sometimes years
to show up.
276
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:28,140
I'll keep my eye out
for itchy, red bumps.
277
00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:33,040
On yourself
or on one of them?
278
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:40,450
Nice to see you,
honey.
279
00:13:40,510 --> 00:13:41,980
Good to see you.
280
00:13:42,050 --> 00:13:44,820
No, ma'am.
281
00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:47,760
Welcome.
Welcome to my lair.
282
00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:50,460
My self-portraits.
I'm real proud of these.
283
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,460
I have a friend
that customizes vans,
284
00:13:52,530 --> 00:13:54,160
and this is delicious.
285
00:13:54,230 --> 00:13:56,960
Yeah, that is me, the warrior
princess in lingerie.
286
00:13:57,030 --> 00:13:59,570
I would never wear my bangs
that way, but --
287
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:03,170
I went to the doctor today,
and, uh...
288
00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,510
For $2,000,
289
00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:09,840
I can get all the tattoos
erased from my back,
290
00:14:09,910 --> 00:14:11,910
which means...
291
00:14:14,010 --> 00:14:15,950
What does that mean?
292
00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:20,250
Oh, I can get --
I will have a clean canvas
293
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,690
for when I get your name
294
00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:26,490
and your face
tattooed there instead.
295
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:28,660
Because you're my man.
296
00:14:28,730 --> 00:14:31,330
Well, okay.
297
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,600
And i'm
in love with you.
298
00:14:33,670 --> 00:14:35,940
I'm in
love with you, too.
299
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,270
Sugarplum.
300
00:14:37,340 --> 00:14:40,140
So, I can cover
the $2,000.
301
00:14:40,210 --> 00:14:43,080
What I need you
to do for me
302
00:14:43,140 --> 00:14:47,620
is give me $700 so I can
go to my guy and get --
303
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:51,620
I need $700
and a recent picture,
304
00:14:51,690 --> 00:14:54,520
and then I'll have --
305
00:14:54,590 --> 00:14:57,360
what are you not doing
right now?
306
00:14:57,420 --> 00:14:58,760
Thank you!
307
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:06,700
We've been having a book drive
here at the station for kids,
308
00:15:06,770 --> 00:15:11,010
and put a donation box
out here, and, uh...
309
00:15:11,070 --> 00:15:13,270
Sure enough...
310
00:15:13,340 --> 00:15:16,940
Somebody pooped in the
book-donation box, so, uh...
311
00:15:18,180 --> 00:15:20,280
That's "the giving tree"
there.
312
00:15:20,350 --> 00:15:22,520
A wonderful book
about a little boy,
313
00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:24,520
and he's friends
with a tree.
314
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,190
This book --
315
00:15:26,250 --> 00:15:28,690
the first time I saw it,
it made me cry,
316
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,960
and it makes me want to cry
that somebody pooped on it.
317
00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:33,360
The ironic thing
318
00:15:33,430 --> 00:15:35,760
is that the last thing
the tree gives the boy
319
00:15:35,830 --> 00:15:37,200
is a nice place to sit.
320
00:15:37,260 --> 00:15:39,700
Oh, jim, it got me.
321
00:15:39,770 --> 00:15:41,700
It got me.
322
00:15:41,770 --> 00:15:43,600
Ohh!
323
00:15:43,670 --> 00:15:45,110
What the hell
are you doing?
324
00:15:45,170 --> 00:15:47,010
Why don't you
just burn them?
325
00:15:47,070 --> 00:15:48,680
They're for children.
326
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:51,180
You're going to give children
crap-stained books?
327
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:52,910
That's why we're
cleaning them.
328
00:15:52,980 --> 00:15:54,420
And they're
poor children.
329
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:56,080
Get it out.
Hey, hey!
330
00:15:56,150 --> 00:15:57,820
Hey, hey!
331
00:15:57,890 --> 00:15:59,590
"The wind in the willows."
332
00:15:59,650 --> 00:16:01,190
You got a latte.
333
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:03,020
Thank you, junior.
334
00:16:03,090 --> 00:16:05,190
Here, I don't
want to get --
335
00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:06,960
can you just
sip me some?
336
00:16:07,030 --> 00:16:09,430
Pull my mask down
and just sip me some.
337
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:11,600
I ain't going
to sip you nothing.
338
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,270
No, you got poop
on my face!
339
00:16:13,330 --> 00:16:16,300
Now there's coffee
in the poop box!
340
00:16:16,370 --> 00:16:17,810
Help, clemmy.
341
00:16:17,870 --> 00:16:21,310
I got poop on --
there's poop on my face!
342
00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:22,810
No, get away!
343
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,550
Pull my glasses up.
Not you! You.
344
00:16:27,580 --> 00:16:29,180
Ah, ah!
345
00:16:29,250 --> 00:16:31,990
Ah, god!
346
00:16:32,050 --> 00:16:33,220
No, don't blow on me.
347
00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:34,690
Just let me be.
It burns.
348
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,460
No!
349
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:38,830
I'm sorry.
350
00:16:42,030 --> 00:16:44,370
Do you want me
as bad as I want you?
351
00:16:44,430 --> 00:16:46,370
Oh, yeah.
352
00:16:46,430 --> 00:16:48,100
Yeah, I do.
353
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:53,410
Well, let me
finish my wine.
354
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:54,840
Oh, okay.
355
00:16:54,910 --> 00:16:58,250
Smoke a little more,
and then we'll...
356
00:16:58,310 --> 00:17:00,080
Get that going.
357
00:17:00,150 --> 00:17:02,320
Excuse me very much.
358
00:17:02,380 --> 00:17:04,590
Oh, I did not offer you
sugar for that wine.
359
00:17:04,650 --> 00:17:07,350
It's so much better if there's
a little something in it.
360
00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:10,120
Like when you're in high school,
you always say,
361
00:17:10,190 --> 00:17:12,460
"oh, mom, I'm going to go
watch a movie with,
362
00:17:12,530 --> 00:17:14,400
uh...my boyfriend,"
363
00:17:14,460 --> 00:17:16,330
and then you come home,
364
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:19,430
and your lips are all
swollen like "ugh,"
365
00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:21,240
and your hair's
all matted,
366
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:23,070
and all your makeup
is absorbed into your face,
367
00:17:23,140 --> 00:17:25,070
and you're covered with hickeys,
and your mom says,
368
00:17:25,140 --> 00:17:26,870
"hey,
what were you doing?"
369
00:17:26,940 --> 00:17:29,040
And you say, "oh, I was
just watching a movie,"
370
00:17:29,110 --> 00:17:30,840
and she says,
"that's my boyfriend.
371
00:17:30,910 --> 00:17:32,780
I'd appreciate it
if you'd stay away."
372
00:17:32,850 --> 00:17:34,780
And then I say,
"well, you know what?
373
00:17:34,850 --> 00:17:36,950
Why don't you shave your legs,
stupid bitch whore.
374
00:17:38,350 --> 00:17:41,120
But...we could
make a movie.
375
00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:53,300
Hello, keith.
376
00:17:53,370 --> 00:17:54,500
Hey, guys.
377
00:17:54,570 --> 00:17:55,840
How you doing?
378
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:58,510
Well, we've got a pervert
on the loose,
379
00:17:58,570 --> 00:18:01,380
and we need to put up
some signs...
380
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,680
'Cause we don't want perverts
in our community.
381
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,680
Wow, that's, um...
382
00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:08,950
That looks a lot
like me.
383
00:18:09,020 --> 00:18:11,450
Yeah, I guess
it kind of does.
384
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:14,220
Yeah, I don't know if you
want to put those up in here.
385
00:18:14,290 --> 00:18:15,760
Oh, we've got to.
386
00:18:15,820 --> 00:18:18,990
Guys, seriously, I can't
have that in the store, man.
387
00:18:19,060 --> 00:18:21,200
Yeah, I guess it
would be difficult
388
00:18:21,260 --> 00:18:24,260
if someone thought you were
a criminal of some sort,
389
00:18:24,330 --> 00:18:27,730
having your face on something
that says you're a criminal...
390
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:32,010
Of some sort, some kind of
an offender, keith.
391
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:34,680
Yeah, okay,
I see what you're doing.
392
00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:38,110
The difference is, though,
that was a $387 check.
393
00:18:38,180 --> 00:18:40,580
I've got 5,000 of these.
Ha!
394
00:18:40,650 --> 00:18:43,420
Come on,
together, together.
395
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,850
And...go.
396
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,660
Thank you.
397
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:52,030
Pleasure doing business
with you.
398
00:18:57,060 --> 00:18:59,200
Often we don't have
enough suspects
399
00:18:59,270 --> 00:19:01,030
to fill out a complete lineup,
400
00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:04,000
and we deputies have to fill in
as sort of ringers.
401
00:19:04,070 --> 00:19:05,840
Junior called me last night.
402
00:19:05,910 --> 00:19:09,040
Today we've got some
chimney sweeps in, I guess,
403
00:19:09,110 --> 00:19:13,050
so just threw this together from
my old musical-theater trunk.
404
00:19:23,190 --> 00:19:25,730
Junior: Number five,
would you please step forward
405
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,200
and sing "supercalifragilistic
expialidocious"?
406
00:19:34,670 --> 00:19:38,210
[Bleep] You, [bleep] You,
[Bleep] All of you!
407
00:19:38,270 --> 00:19:39,710
[Bleep] You!
408
00:19:44,610 --> 00:19:46,550
...very, very small
termite.
409
00:19:46,610 --> 00:19:49,680
It grows in the bean,
or they put it in the bean?
410
00:19:49,750 --> 00:19:53,420
[Bleep]
[Bleep] Clementine!
411
00:19:53,490 --> 00:19:55,360
I mean,
for crying out loud,
412
00:19:55,420 --> 00:19:57,490
I feel like
a [bleep] salt lick.
413
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,990
You're always on me!
I mean, uh [bleep]
414
00:20:00,060 --> 00:20:02,760
I just -- I can't
do this anymore.
415
00:20:02,830 --> 00:20:05,130
I can't be
your suck-on boyfriend.
416
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,430
You're a real fine person,
clementine,
417
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:10,540
and, uh,
that's going to be it.
418
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:11,940
That's going to be it.
419
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:23,480
Thank you,
ladies and gentlemen.
420
00:20:23,550 --> 00:20:26,890
See, it's kind of like getting
a flu shot, you know?
421
00:20:26,950 --> 00:20:29,890
You do it once, and then you
never have to do it again,
422
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,730
no matter how awful it is.
423
00:20:31,790 --> 00:20:33,390
But now it's over.
424
00:20:33,460 --> 00:20:35,730
Thank you.
425
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,230
Here's to me.
Here's to me.
426
00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:39,730
It was a plan!
427
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,370
Yes, it was.
428
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,240
Junior: I thought
you were slipping.
429
00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:46,210
Why do they call it a bean
if it's a worm?
430
00:20:46,270 --> 00:20:49,340
Just like sea-monkeys
aren't really monkeys.
431
00:20:49,410 --> 00:20:51,180
Yes, they are.
432
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,350
Raineesha:
No, they're urchins.
433
00:20:53,410 --> 00:20:55,520
Jones:
They're actually fish.
434
00:20:55,580 --> 00:20:57,820
Junior: What do sea-monkeys
live off of?
435
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:01,220
-- Captions by vitac --
www.Vitac.Com
436
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:04,520
oh, god!
437
00:21:04,590 --> 00:21:07,590
Now you just smeared it.
438
00:21:07,660 --> 00:21:09,600
Is there poop on my eye?
439
00:21:09,660 --> 00:21:14,570
Why are you doing this,
lieutenant?
440
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,600
You know, I suppose we could
have got some trustees.
441
00:21:16,670 --> 00:21:19,840
We could get some trust--
you know?
442
00:21:19,910 --> 00:21:22,980
Yeah, why don't you get
some trustees, I guess?
443
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,980
I'll go in
and get on that.
444
00:21:25,050 --> 00:21:27,850
Somehow this has made me hungry
for tacos.
445
00:21:27,910 --> 00:21:29,620
Oh, god.
446
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:30,680
You up for lunch?
28881
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