Original subtitles

♪ Do you love me? ♪

♪ Tell me now ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Do you trust me? ♪

♪ Come on, start now ♪

♪ Let the world know ♪

♪ That our love is really sure ♪

♪ That we love us ♪

♪ Through the wind and rain, and sunshine evermore ♪

♪ And that's the way it must be ♪

♪ Shout loud, that's the way it must be ♪

♪ Do you love me? ♪

♪ And forever, do you love me? ♪

♪ To the end of never, tell me ♪

♪ Come on and tell me ♪

- Oh!

Damn.

♪ Jump up and tell me ♪

♪ Come on and tell me ♪

♪ Shout out and tell me ♪

♪ Come on and tell me ♪

♪ Come on and tell me ♪

- Come on!

Come on, Roger!

Ah!

You did it, darling!

- Poor little darling.

- [Official] Go on, son!

Go on!

- Love!

- Yeah?

- Come on!

Roger!

- Anna, we got a job.

- You'll need a couple of stitches on that.

It'll hold for now.

Come 'round to my surgery later.

- Okay, Doc.

- Can I sign it?

- While you're at it, Doc, give him a pint of castor oil.

- Come on, Tarzan, we're on call.

- What's up?

Anna's at the bar.

- I know. Some lunatic's killed a girl in Windsor.

- On a Sunday?

- Yeah, most inconsiderate.

Come on, put a knot in it.

Let's go.

- That psychopath theory, that's stupid.

- Why is that?

- I mean, what psychopath

expertly takes to pieces a double combination wall safe?

I mean, that's ridiculous.

- [Roger] You could be right, guv.

- [Matthews] I see.

So you went upstairs from the boutique.

What time was it?

- [Tina] 10:30, I think.

- Precisely 10:30?

- Well, I guess, I...

I can't remember exactly.

- [Matthews] Where was the body?

- On the floor.

- Where on the floor? - Well...

just on the floor, by the door.

- [Matthews] Face up or face down?

- Face up.

- Why did you go upstairs in the first place?

- I told you.

She didn't come down.

- [Matthews] Why should she?

It was Sunday.

- Well, we were doing the inventory that day.

- Ah, you were doing the inventory.

So you went upstairs, into the studio,

discovered the body,

then you saw the safe door was open.

- Yes. - That worried you?

- Well, uh...

- [Matthews] Miss Emerson may have left it open herself.

- I thought maybe there'd been a robbery.

- So you stepped over the bloody, smashed-in head

to see how much the shop had lost?

- No, no, I...

Well...

Yes...

Yes, but the police inspector that --

- Mr. and Mrs. Hiram Hobbs, Riverhead, Nebraska, USA.

Your parents?

When did you leave the States?

- Last July.

- [Matthews] When last July?

- The 17th, I think it...

Yes, it was the 17th, I remember.

- Where did you go first?

- [Tina] Spain.

Torremolinos.

And then I went to Wildhaus.

- Who?

- [Tina] It's a trendy village in the Alps.

And then I came to London.

All right, Miss Hobbs.

Thank you.

Er, did you like working for Miss Emerson, Miss Hobbs?

- Yes, she was great.

- Uh-huh.

Get your alien registration fixed, will you?

It's two weeks overdue.

- Yes, sir.

- I think we'd better check her alibi again, Rog.

- I already have.

She's clean.

- Ah.

All right.

Who's next?

- Here we are.

"Blachford, Charles Henry.

Westminster School, King's College Cambridge," et cetera.

"White's Club, Royal Philatelic Society,

World War II Naval Intelligence,

Distinguished Service Medal, 1963 Honors List, MBE."

- Quite a lad, eh? - Yeah.

He's done all right for himself.

If I hadn't devoted my life to the public service,

I could have had all this.

- If you hadn't been a public servant,

I'd have had you in a cell years ago.

- You go on and I'll turn the car 'round.

- Hello?

- Well, don't just stand there, come in.

Come in.

Who are you looking for?

- A Mr. Charles Blachford.

- You suppose me to be the gardener, I take it?

- Not anymore, sir.

Detective Chief Inspector Matthews.

- You've come about poor Diane, of course.

- Purely routine, sir.

We need to establish a few facts, get a picture of her life.

- I can't see how that can possibly help.

- Well, it's conceivable, sir, that whoever murdered her

knew her habits.

- I see.

Well, Diane was my stepdaughter.

Well, you know that. - Yes.

- Her father was killed in Korea when she was five.

I married her mother two years later.

The marriage didn't last very long, I'm afraid.

My wife was killed within the year.

Car crash.

So I raised the twins myself.

With the help of Mrs. Parsons.

She's my local housekeeper.

- Diane's sister?

- Delphi.

- An identical twin, I believe.

- Mr. Matthews, Delphi is to be left out of this.

Left out of this completely.

- [Matthews] Can you tell me where I can find her?

Where she lives, where she works?

- I don't think I made myself clear.

- We're not investigating a parking offense.

Your stepdaughter was murdered.

- Yes, I am aware of that.

It's just that Delphi has been very upset.

- I know and I'm sorry.

We're not going to bother her unduly.

We're not the Gestapo.

- No.

No, indeed.

Delphi lives in London and works with me here in Windsor.

We're in philately.

- Stamps.

- Rare stamps.

We deal, usually, with other collectors.

We don't sell direct to the public.

Delphi was with me on the night that it happened.

- Anyone else?

- Pardon?

- With you?

- A few friends, actually.

We had dinner here.

Mr. Matthews, am I to take it that Delphi and myself

are expected to produce an alibi?

- What time did they leave?

- Late.

So Delphi had to stay on here the night.

Mr. Matthews, I would be obliged if you would

not continue this rather unattractive line of inquiry.

- I'm sorry, sir.

May I offer you my most sincere condolences?

I want you to know that the police are at your disposal

at any time.

Do call us if you want us.

Thank you for your help.

Good day, sir.

- Good day.

- Charles, I've brought you some tea.

- Thanks.

- Who was it?

- Police.

- [Woman] What do they want?

- Don't quite know.

He asked a few trivial questions,

the answers to which he almost certainly knew.

Ha!

Yes.

Harry, if you'd taken even half a look,

you'd have seen the blur on the lower right side

of the watermark.

The real ten mark does not have that.

It does have a break in two of the left-side perforations.

What?

Wait a minute.

Where the devil did you get this from, anyway?

Don't be ridiculous!

If you didn't notice that, you need your eyes examined.

I'd say they've been around no more than a year.

Oh, come off it, Harry, you know jolly well --

Harry, all the stamp world knows about

Weishardt's forgeries.

All right, all right, apology accepted.

Yes, of course we'll talk about it later.

Good bye.

Yes, Harry.

Yes.

Good bye.

What sort of idiot does he take me for?

Put that away, Delphi.

- I still can't believe it.

Charles.

What's the matter?

- Just overtired, I...

- I'll call Dr. Merrick.

- Oh, I could kill this crook.

Tried to palm a forgery on me.

I'll kill him.

- Well, you're all right this time, Charles.

Just

If you weren't so damned contrary, I'd put you in hospital.

Don't say you haven't been warned.

- Yak, yak, yak, yak --

- Yak, yak, yak yourself.

I told you at the funeral to take a few days off.

So you go to the office and you...

Do you ever think of her?

Buries her sister one week,

you'd have her bury her stepfather the next.

Now, who's going to stay with him?

- I told you, I'm perfectly all right --

- And don't give me any of that poppycock

about wanting to be alone by yourself

in this baronial morgue,

that you can't get living in help.

You stay there, my boy,

and you'll have company for the next 10 days and like it!

- I'll be staying, of course.

- Miss Emerson, it's perfectly --

- That's all right, Mrs. Parsons, really,

it's much easier for me. - Well, that's settled then.

All right.

Lights out.

You two come along with me.

- None of your tricks.

- Ah!

- Goodnight, Charles.

- Night.

- Will you be staying for dinner, Doctor?

- Why not?

Even doctors have to eat.

- I'll see to dinner, Mrs. Parsons.

You get along home.

- Thank you very much, Miss Delphi.

Goodnight, then.

Goodnight, Doctor.

- Let him work that one out.

Yak, yak, yak.

Whiskey?

- And water, please.

- Keep him in that study, Delphi.

No stairs.

No office for a month.

He can have a short walk tomorrow.

He can potter about in that ridiculous greenhouse of his

over the weekend.

Can you cope?

- Oh, of course.

Saves on petrol for a while.

Dr. Merrick, how seriously MI is he?

- Well, his sort of heart, it's serious and not serious.

If he does as he's told,

takes his pills when he's supposed to,

a shot if it's urgent,

he could last as long as me, or even...

Any news of Diane?

- No.

- The bitch.

- Dr. Merrick.

- Couldn't even die properly.

- She wasn't raped.

You know that head bashing was a blind.

The madman who killed Diane Emerson was as sane as you are.

- Oh, thanks a bunch.

- You're welcome.

You can forget the coffee.

- Why? What's up?

- The barmaid across the road.

You know, the one who thought she saw somebody?

They fixed an ID parade for her.

[Roger] Give it up, Matt,

it was simple burglary and assault.

- That's what you think.

- And the coroner. And everybody else.

£800 pounds missing isn't burglary.

- Well, it ain't arson.

- Thank you, madam.

Would you just wait outside a moment, please?

Okay, Dick, move 'em out.

You great twit.

Friends and relatives.

- Come again?

- Back to friends and relatives.

- Oh, Matt, they've all been checked a dozen times.

They're clean.

- Yeah, I've heard that one before and so have you.

- Look, one jet-set [indistinct] less.

In a month, we'll have six other cases more important.

And solvable.

Forget it, who cares?

- I care.

- What?

- I care who killed Diane Emerson.

- Good morning.

Oh, it's Mr. Matthews, isn't it?

- Morning.

Matthews.

- Do you want to talk in here?

- Er...

Well, look, it's one o'clock.

There's a lot to talk about, uh...

perhaps we could have lunch.

I'll check my handcuffs, badge, and whistle here,

if you like.

And I've been working since seven o'clock this morning,

I'm hungry.

- All right.

Oh, no, Diane and I weren't really alike at all.

We were supposed to be, because we were identical,

but we weren't.

When we finished school, we both worked in the office.

But it wasn't much fun.

She'd always had a violent temper

and we lost a few clients.

It just didn't work out.

80 Charles helped her to set up the boutique.

She had a terrific flair for clothes.

She just couldn't miss.

I often used to spend the evenings with her,

but we began to see less and less of each other, and,

well, we started leading different lives.

It was strange, at first,

because we'd always been together.

Charles could never tell us apart.

Nor Mrs. Parsons, our housekeeper,

who'd looked after us for years.

As children, we were always dressed alike.

We had the same books and toys, you know,

played the same games.

But we were different, even then,

and we knew it.

Diane used to do some things that were inexplicable.

Hurtful things.

Things one could almost never forgive her for.

- May we talk about stamps for a moment?

- Stamps?

- I'm interested in Charles Blachford's Penny Gold.

- Well, how much do you know about it already?

- Well, it was one of those freaks that happen occasionally

in the stamp world.

The Queen Victoria Jubilee series of 1887.

No penny stamp was ever planned,

as there were still millions of the 1883, I think.

- '81.

- [Matthews] '81 Lilac stamp still available.

But by error, a first run of a threepenny gold

was overprinted by a figure one.

- Making it worth a penny after all.

I must say, you have done your homework.

But you're quite right, the error was discovered

and the plates of the Penny Gold, as it was called,

were destroyed,

along with some of the stamps that had already been printed.

And then they found that a sheet or two were missing,

and there was a scandal.

- And Scotland Yard recovered all but two.

And it's taken Charles Blachford most of his life

to track them down.

One was destroyed by bombing during the war.

- Mm-hmm. And?

- Well, I'm interested in what happened to the other one.

- It's owned by a dealer called Van der Meij, in Amsterdam.

- [Matthews] Why didn't Blachford get it from him?

- We hadn't anything to swap,

nothing to exchange.

Money wouldn't buy the Penny Gold.

- Meaning it's priceless?

- [Delphi] Mm-hmm.

- Well, if it was up to me, I'd sell it and retire.

- You don't understand collectors, Mr. Matthews.

There's only one thing that Van der Meij wants in his life

and that's a stamp called The Geneva.

- Geneva?

- Now, if you'll excuse me, I must get back to the office.

- Yeah, thank you.

Waiter.

- [Waiter] Sir?

- Can I have the bill, please?

Thank you very much.

- What did you have for lunch?

- Lunch? I don't know.

- Classy joint like that and you can't remember?

She's a good looker, though, isn't she?

- Mm-hmm.

- I'll give her that.

Intelligent?

- Yeah.

Yeah, she's intelligent.

- Where do reckon she fits?

Top or bottom?

- Top or bottom of what?

- The suspect list.

She is under suspicion of murder, isn't she?

Amongst other things.

- Of course she's under suspicion of murder,

with all the other people.

Now, bolt up.

- [Roger] Suit yourself, guv'nor.

Have it your way.

- Do you know, I'm sort of interested

in her sister's boyfriend.

He's too smooth for comfort, that one.

- His alibi stands Up-

He was at a fashion show in Brighton.

- Yeah, was he?

Well, it's too plausible for my liking.

I'm going to have another look at him tomorrow.

- Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

And cut.

That was good.

Thank you very much.

Hello, Inspector.

Sorry to keep you waiting, but, er, £20 an hour each.

Drink?

- Thanks, scotch.

- So how can I help you?

The night of...

On the weekend it happened, I was in Brighton.

You know that.

So I suppose you want a line on her friends?

Who she liked, didn't like, vice versa?

- Something like that.

How long did you live with her?

- About...

Well, a little more than a year, I suppose.

- How did you meet?

- I knew Delphi.

And I got them mixed up one day.

I was shopping.

They were as alike as two peas

and I got the wrong one.

Then we became very good friends

and I gave up my own pad.

Well, there was really no point in keeping two.

People said she was temperamental.

Sheer hell was more like it.

I can remember things

that would make your hair stand on end, but,

well, with someone like her, you didn't care.

The other side of her?

Well, she had more working for her per day

than most people have working for them in a whole lifetime.

- [Matthews] Finally, Mr. Grancorte,

what sort of girl is her sister?

- [Grancorte] Delphi?

All right, I guess.

Well, what can I say about her?

She collect stamps, you know what I mean?

- Morning, Jack.

- Good morning, miss.

- Morning.

- Morning.

- How is he today?

- Much better, I think.

He slept quite well last night.

Did the police get in touch with you?

- For about three hours yesterday morning.

They're running around in circles.

- No, I mean last night.

- Last night?

Police?

- Mm.

- What is it now?

- Well, they wanted to speak to Charles

and I said I thought they'd better speak to you first,

and in the meantime, nothing doing.

- Quite right.

Nothing doing.

Same young man, was it?

- Yes.

- Somebody should explain to him the difference between

investigation and infatuation.

- What?

- Hmm?

Well, I'd better see how he is.

- It feels like spring.

- Large or small coffee?

- Huh?

- Large or small?

- Large or small what?

Coffee!

- Oh.

- Small black.

- Ta.

- Good evening.

- Huh?

- Tell me something.

- Not now, Anna.

- No, Matthew, I'm serious.

What is it about this one that fascinates you so?

- Well, the sister in the case.

It looks like Matthews smitten, know what I mean?

- You can't be serious, can you, Roger?

Hey, get back to your collage or whatever it is.

What are you making, anyway?

- You.

- [Anna] Ooh!

- I hate people telling me how to think.

- Who?

- I don't know, whoever killed her.

- What d'you mean, telling you how to think?

- Well, it's all happening exactly the way they wanted,

isn't it?

I mean, no clues, no witnesses, no informers,

no motives, no nothing.

Just idiot policemen thrashing about.

- Well, I like idiot policemen thrashing about.

- Ah!

- Well, you'll be delirious to hear, love boat, that

headquarters have decided that whoever killed Diane Emerson

was the same one that killed that French model in Paris.

- [Roger] So?

- So the French police have nailed him.

Out of our province into theirs.

Case closed.

They think!

- Oh, yes, dear boy.

Go forth to seek.

The quarry never found

is still a fever for the questing hound.

If one supposes

both we and the French are wrong --

you'll notice I did say "if", Matthews.

If we are wrong, then it is odd.

People like her don't often get themselves murdered.

Suicide, usually.

What's the boyfriend's name?

Grancorte?

- Er, Claude, sir, would you believe?

Claude Grancorte.

- Oh, yes, Claude.

Claude Grancorte.

Professional ladies' man.

Well, you do realize, Matthews, that

with this particular lady,

he stood everything to gain if the lady had lived

and nothing if she died.

- Yes.

- Come, let's walk.

There's a twin sister, am I right?

- Yes, sir.

- And a stepfather?

- Yes, sir.

His name is Charles Blachford.

- Blachford.

Blachford, ah, yes.

Decent chap.

I met him once or twice.

- Did you?

- Matter of fact, we were at the same college.

Not at the same time, of course.

I mean, he's middle-aged.

Made a great deal of money out of

collecting little pieces of colored paper.

Stamps.

Strange, strange.

Identical twins, weren't they?

- They were, sir, yes.

- Identical, but chalk and cheese.

Yes, I remember now.

Well, there we are, my dear Matthews.

Boyfriend, no motive.

Twin sister, no motive.

Stepfather, no motive.

Shop assistant, no motive.

- Hmm.

- But one murderer locked up in France

for a precisely similar crime

proved to be in England at the time of the Emerson tragedy.

And one Chief Detective Inspector

running behind the backs of his immediate superiors

for me.

And simply because he thinks he smells a rat.

- Don't you, sir?

- Jolly good.

We'll have to make a formal request

to your headquarters at Kidlington.

You know that, don't you?

- Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

- It's just a formality.

In murk and mire, we all conspire.

- I beg your pardon, sir?

- It's a most hypnotic cesspool we policemen habitate.

- Ah.

- If there's anything you need.

- Thank you, sir.

Thank you, sir.

It's a most hypnotic cesspit that we policemen habitate.

- Beg your pardon?

- I said, it's the most hypnotic cesspit

that we policemen habitate.

- Oh.

Wake me up if the station burns down.

- To have smashed somebody 27 times across the face.

- With a heavy, blunt instrument.

Come on, Matt.

It's straight robbery with violence.

Let's have it to bed.

- Don't be stupid!

Let's start again.

♪ Had to be you ♪

♪ Gonna love you ♪

♪ Had to be you ♪

♪ Gonna love you ♪

♪ I'm gonna love you ♪

♪ No matter what they say ♪

♪ They don't know you quite the way I do ♪

♪ Oh ♪

- What the hell are you doing here?

Look, I thought we agreed.

- I'm out of cigarettes.

- Well, you should have gone across the street for them.

- Oh, who's to know?

- Somebody.

Anybody.

- Look, do you have any or not?

- "Do you have any or not?"

- Oh, drop dead.

♪ I'm gonna love you ♪

- [Claude] I don't like the fellow they've got on this case.

He's got a nasty, suspicious mind.

Are you listening?

- Mm-hmm.

What's the matter, Claude?

Got a guilty conscience?

♪ Never stop wanting you ♪

- I hate to be a...a drag.

The reason I got you out here is, I...

To check up on one or two of your sister's boyfriends.

- Go ahead.

- I wonder if you'd, er,

know any of this little lot.

Wing Commander Richard Chernow.

Anthony Harper, Terence Cooper.

I know him, he's a nasty piece of work.

George Taylor House, Lord Insworth.

I wonder how she sobered him up.

Patrick Robert O'Brien Curtis, what about him?

- Look, Diane had many conquests

and quite frankly, I can't imagine any one of them

murdering anybody.

- What about you?

What about your boyfriends?

- What about them?

Are you implying that I have a secret lover

that's induced me to murder?

Or vice versa?

- Well, I, er,

I just wondered.

I wondered if there was a good-looking man

in the stamp business somewhere.

- You should know.

You've done enough checking up on me.

- [Receptionist] Yes, Sir Robert?

- I'll see the police officer now.

- Yes, sir.

Inspector Henson, Sir Robert.

- Sir.

- Well, officer, what is it you would like to know?

- Well, to get straight to the point,

it's about Mr. Charles Blachford.

He is your client, am I correct?

- Yes.

- [Roger] I presume, then, that you assisted him

in drawing up a will?

- Yes, I think so.

- I'd like to look at it, please.

- Do you have a court order, young man?

- [Roger] No, sir.

- Extraordinary.

Does your superintendent know of this

unusual impertinence?

- No, sir.

- I see.

Well, good day then.

I'm sorry.

- Look, sir,

let me put it this way.

There was a party just outside Henley last autumn.

We had two men at it.

It was a quiet affair.

But certain people were observed to be in possession

of a substance known as cannabis.

- I see.

- [Receptionist] Yes, Sir Robert?

- [Robert] Would you please send in

Charles Blachford's file?

- [Receptionist] Very well, Sir Robert.

- Charles?

Charles?

- Presumably, it's extremely important.

- I can't find my fur boots

or anything else I left in my wardrobe.

- In the trunk room.

Guests couldn't find room in the wardrobe to hang a necktie.

- Or even themselves.

Where are you off to?

- A bit of skiing and then stamp auctions on the continent.

- Ah, the annual safari, eh?

- Well, unless you think I shouldn't.

- Oh, he's all right.

- I could get Mrs. Parsons to sleep in.

- Over my dead body.

- It's not necessary.

He'll be back at the office on Monday.

If he behaves himself.

- Ha!

- Oh, good.

- Where's the guillotine?

- Oh, Claude!

- [Claude] Did I frighten you?

- What the hell are you doing here?

- Well, I'm not bashing up poor, innocent dolls.

- Get out.

- Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

I've come to have a talk.

- There are other places to talk.

- Oh, sure. Knee deep in creepy stamp collectors.

- Look, and I don't see that we have

anything to say to each other.

- Who is he?

- None of your business.

And he's nothing to do with my not wanting to see you.

- I never loved her, Delphi.

- Of course you didn't.

You've never loved anyone but yourself.

- No.

Not love.

It was always you.

I don't know what happened.

I don't really understand it myself.

Oh, listen, she was a bitch, perhaps it was that.

But I was planning to leave her.

- Except someone came along and saved you the effort.

- Delphi.

You.

And me.

- No, Claude.

You don't interest me anymore.

Now, please.

- I have to go to Torquay this weekend.

Come with me.

- No.

- The sea.

Open beaches.

Old-fashioned Victorian hotels.

They used to blow your mind.

- No.

- Won't or can't?

- Can't and won't.

It's auction time, you know that.

- Ah.

Yes, goddamn stamps.

Charles going?

- No.

- Oh!

Apres-ski?

Delphi's found herself a snow bunny.

- Get out!

- When you get back,

call me.

Dear Lord.

- Put some bread in your mouth.

- It's all right for you, you sadist.

Is the will any use?

- Hmm.

He's left a thousand pounds to Diane.

The same to Mrs. Parsons.

Delphi gets all the rest.

That's his securities, the house, the stamp business,

and the Penny Gold collection.

- Worth you name it.

Great motive.

Except the wrong sister got knocked off.

I could have saved strong-arming Sir Robert

for a more auspicious occasion.

What's so fascinating?

- Hmm?

- Today's brief, what's up?

- Oh, the late Diane Emerson's trips abroad

to buy clothes for her boutique.

- So?

- Well, Paris, yes, Rome, yes, Madrid, maybe.

Who buys clothes in Amsterdam?

- Amsterdam?

Dutch people.

She made a trip there?

- Yeah.

Anna.

- Yes?

- Do you buy clothes in Amsterdam?

- Clothes?

Course not.

- What does Amsterdam mean to you, then?

- Erm, canals, diamonds.

- And? - Stamps.

- Tulips, bicycles.

- Stamps!

- What? - Stamps, right!

- Who's right?

- He's right.

The boy's right.

Stamps.

- Stamps.

- Stamps?

- You're certain that there's no mistake?

You're certain that it was not Delphi?

- No, we checked on Delphi that weekend,

Mr. Van der Meij.

It was definitely Diane.

And exactly two weeks before she was killed.

- Does Delphi know?

- Not yet.

- Oh my God.

This is awful.

She came here,

Diane, if you say so,

quite unexpectedly.

We'd been out to lunch and she suddenly said,

"I've got your Geneva."

Yeah, I mean, just like that.

She knew, of course, that I couldn't resist it

and I really thought she was Delphi.

I really did.

- This Geneva stamp,

had you been after it long?

- For years.

Like Charles Blachford and the Penny Gold.

- I see.

Are you sure the one that you've got isn't a forgery?

- No, no.

We put it through the usual tests.

- How do you think she got hold of it?

- I don't know.

And even with good friends,

there are some things that you don't ask.

- So you swapped?

The Penny Gold that Charles Blachford wanted all his life

for the Geneva that you wanted all your life.

- We swapped.

- Hello?

Oh, hello, why didn't you wake me?

Well, have I time to do some shopping before the plane?

- It would be better if you waited for me, Delphi.

I'll be over in a few minutes.

Something very serious has happened.

You may not feel we should go to St. Moritz.

- Now, let's get this straight, Miss Hartridge.

You went over to the safe,

took out your Geneva stamp,

put it on the table like that.

- That's right, yes.

But please, won't --

- Then Miss Emerson made her swap offer,

which was two of the Goddess Juno set

that you'd always wanted.

- Mm-hmm.

- Plus, a block of four

And you refused,

picked up your Geneva,

put it back in the safe.

- Look, won't you tell me what this is all about?

- Is that the same stamp?

- What do you mean?

- As was there before.

- Yes, of course.

No, this is Swiss.

You put down a French one.

- That's right, I switched them.

There's the French one.

- This is forged!

The rotten bitch!

- Oh, well.

- What a cow!

Listen, I want that stamp back.

- We'll do the best we can.

- I should bloody well hope so!

- Matt.

- What's happened?

- Blachford.

- [Officer] Oscar Tango One-Nine ahead, please.

- [Dispatcher] This is a message from Tango Seven.

The driver is contacting the firm direct.

Tango One-Nine over.

- [Officer] Received Oscar.

Victor One Three, did you hear that, over?

- These were found lying in the water.

- There'll be a connection, of course, dear boy.

A definite connection between the two crimes.

- No, sir.

I think we'll find

that this death will have been accidental.

- [Coroner] It is the conclusion of this Coroner's Court,

no evidence having been submitted to the contrary,

that Blachford's death was due to accident or misadventure.

The presence of a gun and a torch at the scene

of his unfortunate demise surely indicates

he was disturbed by someone unknown

prowling outside the house.

Arming himself, Charles Blachford gave chase.

Then, either he encountered this prowler

and was pushed into the lake,

or he fell accidentally.

In any event, medical evidence indicates

a major heart attack was followed immediately by drowning.

♪ Do you trust me? ♪

♪ Can I really know for sure? ♪

- I want to talk to you.

- So?

- Diane stole the Penny Gold and I know you have it.

Well, I want it back.

For Van der Meij in Amsterdam.

I'm still up at Charles' house,

sorting out his private papers and things.

Try and get some rest, Mrs. Parsons.

- Rest?

- Hello.

I won't take up much of your time.

I'm sure you don't want to be bothered with police

at a time like this.

- I know about it already.

- Know about what?

- The Penny Gold.

- Ah.

- How did she get that Geneva that Van der Meij wanted?

- Well, she, er,

she switched a forged one on the woman who owned it.

- Helen Hartridge?

- Mm.

- That's amazing.

- Anyway, I didn't, er,

I didn't come about the Penny Gold.

When we met last Monday, er,

I forgot to make a note of your hotels

in St. Moritz and Amsterdam.

- Well, that's because I didn't give them to you.

Is there any reason why I should?

- Yes, your stepfather.

I need to establish an alibi.

- Alibi?

You mean prove I was somewhere when he died?

- Well, surely you don't think his death was accidental.

- But the coroner said...

- Where are they?

My God.

- What I don't understand

is why he didn't use the telephone.

- Right.

- Phone Merrick, Mrs. Parsons.

Anybody.

- It works.

Time me.

- Okay.

Go.

Twenty seconds.

- They could have done it.

- Nothing here.

Battery leads and distributor haven't been touched.

- Spare set in the glove compartment.

All they had to do was to take both sets and, er,

put them back later.

Are these the, er, pills you prescribed

for Blachford, Doctor?

- Yes, that's them.

- I see.

Two, four, six...

- Do you mind having the common courtesy

to tell me what this is all about?

- Would you mind counting, Doctor?

How many?

- 18.

- 36.

- That's 54.

- How many originally?

- 100.

- I see.

"Take two three times a day."

When did he start taking them?

- Eight days before he died.

- Hmm.

Well, if my arithmetic is right,

there's two extra.

Perhaps he missed taking them the night he died.

- Perhaps he didn't get around to it.

- Perhaps he couldn't.

Perhaps somebody deliberately removed the bottle

to put him into a panic.

- And put it back later?

- It's a thought.

- It's a thought.

- Nasty.

- I was in Henley, as a matter of fact.

I went there by bicycle, I...

I had a gin and ginger in the Crosskeys Hotel.

- Pubs close at 11.

- Well, it's a long ride back from Henley.

No?

- Sorry.

- You did say that any information I gave you,

you'd regard with the greatest confidence, didn't you?

- Of course.

- Now, don't you dare smile.

I know I'm not as young as I was, or as pretty,

but there's many a decent man who looks for

more than just a pretty face in his lady friend.

- Me, for one, Mrs. Parsons.

Now, who was the lucky man?

- Yes, I think so.

Mr. Grancorte.

Mr. Claude Grancorte, room 109.

- Mm-hmm.

Double or single?

- Er, there was a lady with him, yes.

- [Matthews] Did you get the name?

- Sorry, he didn't register her.

- [Matthews] What did she look like?

- Well, er...

- Tall or short?

- Well, average.

Here.

- Blonde or brunette?

- Blonde.

A lovely figure.

- [Matthews] Any luck?

- Nah.

His car was involved in a minor accident last Saturday.

About nine o'clock at night.

Locals have the full report.

- You surprised?

Doesn't miss a trick, does he?

- Ah, he's got an Achilles heel like the rest of us,

but where?

Women.

Claude.

Claude, will you please hurry?

I'm choking.

You know I don't smoke.

What the hell is the matter with it, anyway?

- The shutter's jammed.

Is that all?

- No.

♪ How I need you ♪

- [Model] What's got into you today?

♪ Deep inside, I need you all the time ♪

- Oh my God.

Miss America.

- [Tina] Claude, I've got a problem.

- You've got a problem --

- Oh, Shut it!

♪ For your love, I need you now ♪

- What's the matter?

- Get rid of her.

- Why?

She's useful.

- Was.

Matthews is sitting in your car.

- Here, you!

Look!

- Sorry, didn't see you there.

- What do you want?

- Er, nice car.

- Look, if it's the name of the girl

I had with me in Torquay, she's upstairs.

- No, I've got her name, thank you.

Just one or two little things I'd like to clarify,

if I could have a little of your time.

Shortly before Blachford's death,

you drove out to his country home.

Now, we know that to be true, because

one or two of the village people saw you there.

- Well, I went to see Delphi.

Family matter.

- Did you see anybody else there at the same time?

- No.

I never fancied Charles Blachford.

Now, if you don't mind...

Now, listen you.

There's a telephone upstairs attached to a very long wire.

At the other end is a rather efficient MP.

He doesn't like policemen either.

- BEA flight 614 to Nice, leaving London 5:25 pm.

September the third, two years ago.

Tickets issued to you and Delphi Emerson.

And a reservation at the Majestic Hotel in Cannes.

Double room with bath.

- So?

- Oh, it just struck me that

if you had switched from one sister to the other before,

maybe you were considering switching back again.

- Well, try again.

She's already spoken for.

- What do you mean?

- Well, well.

There's something the police don't know.

- Look, don't give me the runaround, sonny boy!

Who's she involved with?

- Well, as a matter of fact, she went skiing with him

the weekend her stepfather died.

- I said who!

- Naughty!

Run along upstairs now, Chummy.

There's a good boy.

- Van der Meij.

It was Van der Meij.

- Where did our Claude go?

- Torquay.

- Gone to Torquay with model friend, we're told.

And Miss Delphi Emerson with Peter Van der Meij.

- Right.

- A most attractive young woman, Miss Emerson.

- Yeah.

- My service, I think.

And the shop assistant?

- Uh...Tina.

In her bedsitter.

Apparently, keeping the neighbors awake half the night

with those, er, cassettes.

Cheers, sir.

- Cheers, dear boy.

- Mm!

Oh, I needed that.

- Mm.

Who is lying?

Which of the four do we want?

Or which two in which combination?

Claude and Delphi?

Delphi and Van der Meij?

Or Van der Meij and Claude?

Oh, and the little shop assistant.

Double the permutations.

- Hmm.

- Now we know the motive is stamps.

One stamp.

A threepenny Victoria overprinted with the number one

to make it worth a penny.

Now, that penny's worth a fortune.

There's something right there, dear boy.

Why don't you start again?

Strip all the alibis to the bare bones.

Don't trust anybody.

Especially a beautiful woman.

♪ Can I really know for sure ♪ - Come on, Rog, do you mind?

♪ Will you love me? ♪ - What a dump.

They can't pay Madame Hobbs much.

- All right.

So you saw her come in?

And where were you?

- In my room.

I told ya.

I said, "Good evening, luv."

She said, uh --

- I see, so she came in and shut the door.

- Well, that's what I said, didn't I?

- You saw her shut the door, did you?

- Yeah!

Well, I mean, I didn't exactly see her, she --

- Get yourself together, you little creep!

Did you see her shut the door, or didn't you?

- Well, I heard her.

- You heard her?

- I hear her every night.

- I see. You heard it from the outside, maybe.

Like this, eh?

- Oh, well, er...

- You dimwit.

Why didn't you tell us this when we first talked to you?

- Well, I...

Ah!

I heard her 'cause she turned on the tape recorder.

- I see.

What happened when it stopped?

- Well, I watched the box.

There was match on, see, it was, er,

Chelsea and... - So it did stop, did it?

- Huh?

Oh. - What happened then?

- Well, er...

Well, er...

- Think!

Well, it was after the match was over.

- Right.

Let's go.

You too.

- Come on. - Ah!

- [Matthews] How long does that tape run?

- One like hers?

- Yeah. - About 45 minutes.

- Yes, so it takes about 45 minutes

to drive down to Blachford's.

The tape runs, then it stops.

She's there 10 minutes, then she drives back.

That's an hour and a half.

Long enough for Chelsea to win their match.

She turns the tape on and this twit doesn't notice.

You twit!

- That's our bird there, isn't it?

- Yes?

Well, what the devil happened?

She died.

It's all in the evening papers.

They'll be looking for you everywhere.

Right, in an hour.

Delphi?

Claude.

The Penny Gold.

I want to talk to you.

- Oh, please, please!

- Happy birthday. - Have 100 more.

- And now, the finished masterpiece!

Pray silence and a little bit of hush.

Voila!

[Anna] Darling, it's me!

- Yes.

How did you guess?

- Because you told me it was me!

- Roger.

- What's the matter?

- What you just said.

- What?

- Anna said she knew your masterpiece was her

because you told her it was.

- So?

- Okay, Delphi Emerson and her stepfather

identified the corpse as Diane Emerson

because they were told it was her.

- Go on, I'm with you.

- Help yourself to a drink.

All right, Claude.

And don't tell me that you haven't got it.

I've seen Van der Meij.

- If I do have it

and if I did give it back,

what'd be my chances afterwards?

- You really are abysmally jaded, aren't you?

- No.

Repentant.

- Meaning you wouldn't know where

to get rid of the stamp alone.

Except on the black market.

And they wouldn't give you enough

to offset the risk of being informed on.

Claude!

- Hold her!

- Claude! - Hold her!

- No!

No!

What do you want?

You can have the stamp!

Oh!

- [Claude] Hold her head!

- No!

No!

No!

- Cut it out!

- She bit me!

Take her clothes off.

And don't forget that Tina's passport

is in my bag in the car.

Oh!

Oh, that's better.

Well.

Goodbye, Diane.

- You mean Delphi, don't you?

- No.

I mean Diane.

I'm Delphi now.

And don't you forget it.

- All right.

- All set?

- Not quite.

- Why? What is it?

Oh.

- Hello.

May I? - Mr. Matthews,

I'm very tired.

- Oh, just five minutes, Miss Emerson,

that's all it'll take.

- Well, I'm not on my own.

- I'm aware of that.

- Mr. Matthews wants to see me for a moment.

Was it private?

- Private?

No, I don't think so.

- A drink, Mr. Matthews?

- No, thank you.

Miss Emerson, I want you to drive up to town with me.

- I beg your pardon?

- To London.

I want you to drive with me there tonight,

stay in your own apartment.

- London?

Whatever for?

- As a precaution.

- Well, I mean, I don't understand.

- For your own personal safety.

- Mr. Matthews,

I really don't think you're being reasonable.

Delphi's stepfather's just died --

- Don't interrupt.

It's your sister.

We think she...

We think she may still be alive.

- Diane?

- Alive?

Now, look here -- - If this is a joke, it --

- No, it's no joke.

Have you checked on Tina Hobbs lately?

- Tina?

- Found out who she really is?

- Now what the hell are you getting at?

- Well, according to the American Embassy,

Miss Hobbs lost her passport

and went back to Nebraska on a reissued one 12 months ago.

So our Tina must be somebody else, mustn't she?

- I see.

Diane dressed up as Tina.

- Mr. Matthews, you forget that I identified Diane myself.

- You identified what?

You identified half a face.

A bloody, smashed-in mess.

Did you see all of her?

Did you see her body?

Presumably, the same as your own.

Did you see her legs?

- Well, as Charles Blachford was there, I hardly think it --

- Shut up!

- The inspector that was present will tell you

that I didn't.

- I see.

So you assumed.

You weren't certain.

I see.

A brunette.

The same coloring, same size as your sister,

wearing your sister's housecoat.

It's so much easier to assume than being certain, isn't it?

- Well, if it's correct.

I mean, who was it?

It wasn't Tina if she went back home --

- I don't know, I don't know, you tell me.

I mean, the body was cremated, wasn't it?

No exhumation.

No dental check.

But I can guess.

Some poor dropout.

Somebody nobody'll miss.

Lonely.

In a pub.

"Hello, pretty lady.

Like to come back to my nice, warm apartment,

have a big, juicy steak? Relax?

Nice, hot shower.

Have a joint or two." - Very well.

Miss Nobody is murdered.

Everyone thinks that she's Diane

and meanwhile, Diane is alive and pretending to be Tina.

Well, next thing you'll tell me

that she killed Charles.

Really, Mr. Matthews.

To what purpose?

- You said it yourself.

The Penny Gold.

They're priceless.

- Penny Gold?

- Get rid of herself and her stepfather in public.

Then get rid of you in private.

Then she could do something that she couldn't do

with you and Blachford alive.

Pose as you and sell the Penny Gold.

But, er...

I blocked that one when I went to see Van der Meij.

Nobody can sell that stamp now,

because I've attached a fraud and forgery charge to it.

- An interesting theory.

But for one small thing.

My sister's dead.

- Your sister's alive.

And still after you.

And she's wanted on suspicion of two murders

and a manslaughter,

so she needs somewhere very safe to hide.

And that place is you.

- Goodnight.

Mr. Grancorte will see you out.

- Don't bother.

- Let's get rid of her.

Claude!

What's the matter with you?

- Nothing.

I could do with a drink.

- Better make that three.

I could use one myself.

Okay, Fred, they're here now.

You can fish that trunk out of the lake.

And remember, the statue inside's valuable.

Get it back where it belongs.

Come on, darling.

And you.

Forget it, chummy.

- I hope you two will be very happy.

- Delphi, what's happened?

- Guess again, Doctor.

- [Merrick] Good God almighty!

- All right, get rid of them.

- All right, my dear.

We'll have you right in no time.

Chloroform, is it?

- Yes.

I'll fill you in with the gory details later.

Oh!

- Off to hospital, then, I think, for a closer look.

- Right.

- Doctor?

Do you want to look at this charmer's face

before you go off to the hospital?

- Not particularly.

What happened to him?

- He, uh, he tripped over a trunk.