All language subtitles for Futurama - 12x08 - Cuteness Overlord.WEB.ETHEL.en

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,003 ♪ grandiose music playing ♪ 2 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,512 ♪ theme song playing ♪ 3 00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:38,080 ♪ 4 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:41,583 [alarm clock beeping] 5 00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:42,918 [alarm stops] 6 00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:45,212 - Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! 7 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:48,465 Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! - Oh my! Oh my! Oh my! Oh my! 8 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:53,554 - I'll change Stinky. You serve breakfast to Picky. 9 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,430 - I'm not picky! 10 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:58,684 Ew, gross! You got egg white in my egg! 11 00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:01,562 [Mandy struggling] - Ugh! Just get dressed, Mandy! 12 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,689 - These are kids' clothes, Mom! 13 00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:05,232 I'm not wearing these! 14 00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,984 - Me neither! [squishing] 15 00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:08,861 [grunts] [splat, sizzle] 16 00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:11,697 - Ew, gross! You got egg white on his diaper. 17 00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:14,116 ♪ 18 00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:17,452 [rattling] - I don't get why my kids are so spoiled. 19 00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:20,122 We have tons of money, we give them everything they want, 20 00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:22,541 and still totally spoiled! 21 00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:25,377 - Your kids should see how I grew up in the Orphanarium. 22 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:27,588 [whack] Ugh. We could only dream 23 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,548 of being spoiled and obnoxious. 24 00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:30,549 [blows raspberry] 25 00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:33,093 - Oh yeah? [blows flaming raspberry] 26 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:36,096 - Hey, does the Orphanarium allow visitors? 27 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,265 You know, so people can feel good about themselves, 28 00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,184 and also frighten their own children? 29 00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:42,769 - Sure! It's called volunteering. 30 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,771 ♪ upbeat music playing ♪ 31 00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:51,069 - Ew! This place smells worse than Mandy! 32 00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:53,488 - Does not! - Well, I, for one, 33 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:56,408 think volunteering is a fantastic idea. 34 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,118 I wouldn't miss it for the world. 35 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,536 [phone ringing] 36 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:02,164 - Lieutenant Kroker! Report for emergency briefing. 37 00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:04,541 - Oh, thank God. I'll be back in a month! 38 00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,543 [frantic panting] 39 00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,128 [buzzer] [door creaks] 40 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,880 [children giggling] 41 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,465 - Warden Vogel! 42 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:14,843 - Leela! It seems like only yesterday 43 00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:17,554 you were this tall and riddled with scurvy. 44 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:18,931 [both laughing] 45 00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:20,557 - Lot of bad memories. 46 00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:23,060 - Is this gonna be my new family? 47 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:25,896 - No, Albert. These folks are here to provide 48 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:29,107 useless, unskilled labor, not adopt you. 49 00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:30,359 - Oh, thank God. 50 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:35,197 - Get ready for some super fun hands-on volunteer work. 51 00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:36,615 [fly buzzing] [water drips] 52 00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:38,242 But don't touch anything. 53 00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:41,703 - It's snack time, so you can start by cutting these grapes in half. 54 00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,997 - Ah, so the little ones don't choke. 55 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,999 - No, so there's enough to go around. 56 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,544 [annoyed sigh] [snipping] 57 00:02:48,544 --> 00:02:50,045 Next, cut the blankets. 58 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,172 [bubbling] 59 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,633 - This soup smells delicious! 60 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,552 Can I help serve and eat it, yum-yum? 61 00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:58,595 - You've gotta make it first. That's just tap water. 62 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:00,889 [gurgling] 63 00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,808 - Mm, chunky. 64 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:05,269 [slurping] 65 00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:07,896 - Shall I take this putrid trash out? 66 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,315 - That isn't trash. It's the donation bin. 67 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,942 Donors put their trash in it. 68 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,695 - Okay, kids, line up. [kids cheer] 69 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,196 Each child will receive 70 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:19,366 precisely 0.6 kilograms of toy. 71 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,994 Two-thirds of a basketball for you, 72 00:03:21,994 --> 00:03:25,330 a clump of melted army men for you, 73 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:28,458 three stuffed animals with tomato sauce for you, 74 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:31,753 and a tricy-- uh, bicycle for you. [clatters] 75 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,839 Albert, you get a cookie. - Yum! 76 00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:35,132 [chomp] [tire pops, deflates] 77 00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,467 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 78 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,344 - This used to be my room. 79 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,221 It's the only one with a window. 80 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,472 [raccoon chittering] 81 00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:45,601 That's Bandit. He gave me my first rabies. 82 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,605 - This is way nicer than my room at home! 83 00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:51,899 Mine has too much furnitures. 84 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,735 And it's all so matchy-matchy. [squish] 85 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,988 And her toys have lots of sauce on them! 86 00:03:57,988 --> 00:04:01,658 Mine don't have any! [crying] 87 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,160 - You want me to kick her? 88 00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:07,039 ♪ bright music playing ♪ 89 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:08,707 - Here you go. 90 00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:11,710 [plate shatters] And one for you. 91 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,838 [plate shatters] [baby talk] And one for you. 92 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:16,673 [plate slides, shatters] 93 00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:19,718 [normal] Ah. It just feels so good to help. 94 00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:22,888 - Can you fix our table, Mr. Shiny Pants? 95 00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:24,431 - I thought you'd never ask! 96 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:27,434 [grunts] [children cheer] 97 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,728 - Can you bend my spoon straight? 98 00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:32,105 - No problem, kid. [grunts] 99 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,607 How'd that happen anyway? 100 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:36,276 - Damien did it. With his brain. 101 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,279 ♪ eerie music playing ♪ 102 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,614 - My man, Damien! 103 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:41,907 [antenna squeaks] [yelps] 104 00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:43,075 [bird caws] 105 00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:46,286 - I apologize, kids. That was just horrible! 106 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,789 I'll buy you all ponies to make up for it. 107 00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,832 - Mine better be a big one! 108 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,584 - Hey, where's Mandy? 109 00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:55,420 [bed squeaking] [kids laugh] 110 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:58,090 - I love it here! Whee! 111 00:04:58,090 --> 00:04:58,924 [bed smashes] 112 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:01,802 [laughter] 113 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,804 - Wanna play toys? 114 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:07,099 The raccoon lick'ded some of the p'sghetti sauce off. 115 00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:10,102 - Aw, so cute! [squishing] 116 00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:13,522 Hi! My name is Bearinara! [giggles] 117 00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:14,857 I like your ear! 118 00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:15,899 [giggles] 119 00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:18,819 [squishing] - I like your big empty forehead. 120 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:19,820 [both laugh] 121 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:23,490 - You're a little green froggy just like my daddy! 122 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:24,491 [smooch] 123 00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,576 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 124 00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:28,579 - Mandy! Stop kissing garbage! 125 00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:30,414 - But, we're having fun! 126 00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:32,165 - Come on. It's time to go. 127 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,918 - Can I at least give her a hug goodbye? 128 00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:36,920 - [whispers] I said not to touch anything dirty. 129 00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:41,466 ♪ sad music playing ♪ 130 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:42,759 [feet scraping] 131 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:45,012 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 132 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,764 - Reporting for briefing, sir! 133 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,808 - You know, Kif, among certain females, 134 00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:52,352 I'm better known for my de-briefing. 135 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,855 [laughing] [Kif groans] 136 00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:57,900 - At ease, gentlemen. [startled grunt] 137 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,695 - Admirella? And in combat uniform? 138 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,113 This must be important. 139 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,740 - Very important, Lieutenant. 140 00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:07,034 What I'm about to show you is top secret. 141 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:09,995 That's why I've been keeping it close to my chest. 142 00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,496 [unzipping] - Uh... 143 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:14,124 - I-I should get a map like that for Amy. 144 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,752 - Unidentified hostile aliens have wiped out 145 00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:18,712 several of our remote bases 146 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,839 here, here, and here. [beeping] 147 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,758 - I've been to two of those bases. 148 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,843 - And they're on a direct course for... 149 00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:26,970 well, I'm not at liberty to say, 150 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,473 but one of the DOOP's most important planets. 151 00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:32,267 - Not Amphibios 9, my home world?! 152 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:36,980 [both laughing] 153 00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:39,441 - Important means Earth, Lieutenant. 154 00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:42,819 The very survival of Earth is at stake. 155 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,364 Pfft. Amphibios 9. 156 00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:47,366 [both laughing] 157 00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:49,660 ♪ ominous crescendo ♪ - Oh, ho, ho. 158 00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,788 ♪ 159 00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:53,789 [splashing] 160 00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:55,874 - Those orphans sure taught us a lot 161 00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:58,627 about not being spoiled. Right, kids? 162 00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:01,839 - [sniffing] Are these domestic bath salts? 163 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,298 What are we, bankrupt? 164 00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:06,718 - I miss Sally. And her fuzzly toys. 165 00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:09,471 - I'll get you a clean new fuzzly toy. 166 00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:11,181 I'm sure you can find them anywhere. 167 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,599 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 168 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:13,976 Sold out? 169 00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:14,977 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 170 00:07:14,977 --> 00:07:16,979 - Sold out?! 171 00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:18,397 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 172 00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:19,815 - Ah. There they are. 173 00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:23,068 [all arguing] 174 00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:25,362 Hey! - Grab. Hands off my kajigger! 175 00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:26,905 It's a present for my whatsit! 176 00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:29,324 - Your whatsit's too old to play with kajiggers. 177 00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:31,785 [both struggling] 178 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:36,582 - Ooh! Looks like we've got a little Fuzzy Funbag collector! 179 00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:39,334 - People collect these things? - Oh God, yes. 180 00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:42,087 From the moment I nabbed my first one, I was like... 181 00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:44,590 ♪ Gotta collect 'em all! ♪ 182 00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:46,800 [electronic jingle playing] SIGN: ♪ Gotta collect 'em all! ♪ 183 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,887 - Now that I know they're hard to get, I want them! 184 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,763 [punch lands] - Ow! 185 00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:53,891 - There! I collected 'em all. 186 00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:57,394 - Oh, honey, that's not even close to 'em all. 187 00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:59,396 You've got, like, 195 to go. 188 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:02,566 - Shman. Then, I better get started. 189 00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,735 - Hey! - Oh, grow up. 190 00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:07,613 ♪ triumphant music playing ♪ 191 00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:08,864 [computer alert] [gasps] 192 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:11,450 A Bitey Bedbug came up on bBay! 193 00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:13,744 [scoffs] [clicks remote] 194 00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:15,746 - In business news... - Turn that off! 195 00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:18,707 - ...the Fuzzy Funbag index hit an all-time high today-- 196 00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:20,375 [beep] - [gasps] Turn that on! 197 00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:21,877 - Experts agree, 198 00:08:21,877 --> 00:08:24,880 the mass-produced bags can only go up in value, 199 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,798 much like Bitcoin or tulips. 200 00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:29,051 - Gotta collect 'em all. 201 00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:32,054 ♪ spirited music playing ♪ 202 00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:33,096 [gasps] 203 00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:35,849 [squishing, pop] 204 00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:38,769 ♪ dark music playing ♪ 205 00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:45,275 [inaudible] 206 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,153 Hm... 207 00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,821 One to go. 208 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,782 Cashew CuddleFish, 209 00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:54,493 I'm gonna collect you so hard! 210 00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:57,996 ♪ 211 00:08:57,996 --> 00:08:59,665 - Business is booming! 212 00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:02,584 We're delivering whatever these things are by the millions! 213 00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:03,919 [yelps] 214 00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:06,839 - This one! The CuddleFish! Has anyone seen it?! 215 00:09:06,839 --> 00:09:10,133 - You seem kinda worked up, Amy. Though it is awful cute. 216 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:12,553 Gimme that drawing! [both struggle] 217 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:16,014 - You know, there's actually quite a bit of science 218 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:18,475 behind the concept of cuteness. 219 00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:21,144 - Ooh! Lecture, lecture! [beep] 220 00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,729 PROFESSOR: Since baby mammals 221 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,399 have relatively large eyes at birth, 222 00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:28,026 we evolved to find that cute, 223 00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:31,864 so we'd care for our offspring instead of strangling them. 224 00:09:31,864 --> 00:09:33,991 - Clever little bastards. 225 00:09:33,991 --> 00:09:36,368 [beep] - Let's run an experiment. 226 00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:37,786 [cart rattling] 227 00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:40,080 I'm going to show a series of images, 228 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,291 and my cu-trometer will measure 229 00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:45,085 how loud you say "aww." 230 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,086 [beep] 231 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,504 ALL: Aww. 232 00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,715 [beep] [louder] Aww! 233 00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:52,384 [beep] [even louder] Aww! 234 00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:53,552 [beep] 235 00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:54,678 - Ew! - Yuck! 236 00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:58,515 - Correct! This face has zero cuteness coefficient. 237 00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:01,602 The pinprick pupils are ugly and off-putting. 238 00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:03,270 - Turn it off! Turn it off! 239 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:07,107 - But these Funbags, why, they take it to the next level! 240 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,692 [beep] 241 00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:11,153 ALL [loudest] Aww! [beeping, breaking] 242 00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:14,907 - Our desire to obtain them is beyond our control. 243 00:10:14,907 --> 00:10:17,117 - I don't know if it's literally beyond our-- 244 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,118 [alarm blaring] 245 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,245 A CuddleFish is up for auction! 246 00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:22,623 [piercing shriek, laugh] 247 00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:24,416 [tires screeching] 248 00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:28,337 Just sneak in and pretend to be orphans till I get back! 249 00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:31,590 Go, go, go! [engine roaring, tires squealing] 250 00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:35,093 ♪ posh music playing ♪ 251 00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:36,428 [auction chatter] 252 00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:40,474 Wow. You own your own bidding paddle? 253 00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,809 - I own my own number. 254 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:46,563 - We now start the bidding for the rarest and cutest of all Funbags. 255 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,649 Cashew the CuddleFish. 256 00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,234 [audience ooh's and aww's] 257 00:10:50,234 --> 00:10:53,111 - All the money in my children's college funds! 258 00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,404 [audience gasps] 259 00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:57,741 - Madam, that bid is more than makes any sense. 260 00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,868 We have More Than Makes Any Sense, More Than Makes Any Sense. 261 00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:02,329 Do I hear More Than Makes Any Sense and a Half? 262 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,790 [squishing] [audience murmurs] 263 00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:06,375 We have More Than Makes Any Sense and a Half. 264 00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,794 Do I hear Girl, Are You Kidding Me Right Now? 265 00:11:08,794 --> 00:11:10,879 - You only live once, Mother. 266 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:13,173 [mutters] Although it's been a very long once. 267 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,467 - Girl, are you kidding me right now? 268 00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:16,468 - Ow! 269 00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,512 - Objection! Stop the bidding! 270 00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,597 This Funbag is a fake! 271 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,391 [audience gasps] AMY: What?! 272 00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:24,059 - Note how the fabric on the underseam 273 00:11:24,059 --> 00:11:26,395 is a slightly lighter shade than it should be. 274 00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:29,022 And instead of reading "Cashew CuddleFish," 275 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,107 the tag reads, 276 00:11:30,107 --> 00:11:31,733 "Knockoff Phonyfish." 277 00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:34,319 - You're a professional Funbag appraiser! 278 00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,530 How did you not notice that before? 279 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:39,741 - Honestly, I was just too distracted by its cuteness. 280 00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:43,704 - Ugh! Has anyone even seen a real CuddleFish? 281 00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,247 Maybe they don't exist! 282 00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:48,625 Maybe it's all just some kinda sick, fuzzy-wuzzy game! 283 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,544 - Now, now, calm down. 284 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:53,547 Remember, Miss Wong, you have actual kids to hug. 285 00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,507 - Who? Oh, right! 286 00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:59,094 - [gasps] That stain looks like a moldy bunny. 287 00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:02,222 MANDY: That one looks like a cockaroach! 288 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,515 Oh, it ran away. 289 00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,934 Let's play Funbags! 290 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,063 - Come on, Mandy, let's go home and take a bath 291 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,773 and incinerate those clothes. 292 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,192 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 293 00:12:13,192 --> 00:12:15,485 [gasping] 294 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:16,778 [thud] 295 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:20,782 ♪ fanciful music playing ♪ 296 00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,659 ♪ slightly tense music playing ♪ 297 00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:23,911 - Wow. 298 00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:26,413 What an interesting little toy. 299 00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:29,833 - It is? What's interesting about it? 300 00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,877 - I mean, nothing really. 301 00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:34,671 They're just... so fun to trade, right? 302 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,673 - Why do you sound weird, Mom? 303 00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:38,759 - [stilted] I don't sound weird. 304 00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,761 Go wait in the car! 305 00:12:42,346 --> 00:12:44,973 [normal] That one is so dirty. 306 00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:47,643 Wouldn't you rather have some nice clean ones? 307 00:12:47,643 --> 00:12:50,270 - No, I like my dirty one better. 308 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,897 It matches me. 309 00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:55,400 - Oh, b-but this purple lion is slightly rare! 310 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,194 And I'll throw in a whole bag 311 00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:59,988 of gold variant hugger whales. 312 00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:02,032 - You can just have it if you want. 313 00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:03,283 - Take the deal! 314 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,203 ♪ suspenseful music playing ♪ 315 00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:08,372 - Approaching Outpost Merveena 6, 316 00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:10,457 the latest base to fall silent. 317 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:13,043 - I have a weird feeling about this, Kif. 318 00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:15,671 Set tension level to maximum. 319 00:13:15,671 --> 00:13:16,672 [sighs] 320 00:13:16,672 --> 00:13:19,508 [tense whirring] 321 00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:22,511 ♪ tense music playing ♪ 322 00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:25,806 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 323 00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,432 Holy fri-jo-les! 324 00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:29,226 It's horrifying! 325 00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:30,269 After you, Kif. 326 00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:31,812 [grunts] 327 00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:35,566 - Their windpipes and rib cages have been crushed. 328 00:13:35,566 --> 00:13:37,985 It's as if they had their very lives cuddled out of them! 329 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:40,445 [typing] ZAPP: Let's check the security footage. 330 00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:43,699 Whoever arrived here last must be the massacre-er. 331 00:13:43,699 --> 00:13:46,159 [audio rewinding] [static] 332 00:13:47,536 --> 00:13:48,537 [Kif gasps] 333 00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:51,164 - That's Amy's boss' delivery crew's ship! 334 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:54,459 [dolly squeaking] 335 00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:56,253 [bottles clatter] 336 00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,504 [Bender giggles] 337 00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,674 - They just made a harmless delivery and stole some stuff. 338 00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:02,259 Nothing illegal about that. 339 00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:04,678 [ship roaring] 340 00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:07,806 Some monster must've stowed aboard that ship, 341 00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:09,933 then murdered everything here... 342 00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:11,602 To the death. 343 00:14:11,602 --> 00:14:13,604 - Do you think it's still around? [gasps] 344 00:14:13,604 --> 00:14:15,856 Or maybe already headed to Earth? 345 00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,357 - I don't think. 346 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:20,027 I run away! [whimpering] 347 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,571 - Oh, I hope Amy and the kids are alright. 348 00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:23,947 [panting] 349 00:14:25,157 --> 00:14:28,535 Can't go on a work trip and not bring back a cute present. [panting] 350 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:31,455 ♪ 351 00:14:31,455 --> 00:14:34,583 - So, after long and careless consideration, 352 00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:36,668 your pension is now fully invested 353 00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:38,378 in Fuzzy Funbags. 354 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,881 - It's just prudent. [Zapp panting] 355 00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:43,550 - Any alien invaders around here? 356 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:44,843 - Uh-oh. The fuzz! 357 00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:48,055 - Something wiped out the outpost at Merveena 6. 358 00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:49,806 - But, we were just there! 359 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:53,185 - Uh, they had a precious vase! Much like this one! 360 00:14:53,185 --> 00:14:56,939 - Some unthinkable horror may have stowed away in your cargo hold. 361 00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:58,190 What were you delivering? 362 00:14:58,190 --> 00:15:00,526 - The only thing we deliver anywhere anymore. 363 00:15:00,526 --> 00:15:02,569 Fuzzy Funbags. Like that. 364 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,987 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 365 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,572 - Exactly like this? 366 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,200 - Let me see that Funbag. 367 00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:12,704 Scalpel. 368 00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:16,542 [fabric ripping] [all gasping, gagging] 369 00:15:16,542 --> 00:15:18,377 My God! 370 00:15:18,377 --> 00:15:19,628 - What? What's in there? 371 00:15:19,628 --> 00:15:23,006 - Little plastic beads! Or beans! 372 00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:25,676 - What did you expect? It's a beanbag. 373 00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:30,389 - Whoa, this is no bean. 374 00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:32,766 It's alive! - Aren't beans alive? 375 00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,142 - Cork it, nerd! 376 00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:35,727 [beeping] 377 00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:38,730 [whirring] [slicing, squishing] 378 00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,148 [all gasp] ZOIDBERG: Yum. 379 00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:43,986 - The entire organism is filled with spores! 380 00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:47,489 It's essentially just one big reproductive organ. 381 00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:50,409 - Much like certain humans, eh, Leela? [clicks tongue] 382 00:15:50,409 --> 00:15:52,619 - Is it possible these little fun bags 383 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,663 could've caused such devastation? 384 00:15:54,663 --> 00:15:56,707 - Not on their own, no. 385 00:15:56,707 --> 00:15:58,375 They have no brain! 386 00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:00,794 - Much like certain humans, eh, Leela? 387 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,337 Eh-- No, uh, wait. 388 00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:05,966 - There would have to be some malicious variant to command them. 389 00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:07,718 A highly unusual one 390 00:16:07,718 --> 00:16:10,596 with diabolical intelligence. 391 00:16:10,596 --> 00:16:12,806 "The Alpha Funbag." 392 00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:14,183 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 393 00:16:14,183 --> 00:16:16,310 - ♪ I got it, I got it! ♪ 394 00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:18,437 ♪ The rarest in the world! ♪ 395 00:16:18,437 --> 00:16:22,733 ♪ By ripping off a little orphan girl! ♪ 396 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,945 I'm a terrible person. [sobbing] 397 00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:30,490 ♪ sad music playing ♪ 398 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,911 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 399 00:16:33,911 --> 00:16:37,456 - So these Funbags are invading Earth? How is that possible? 400 00:16:37,456 --> 00:16:40,918 - Cuteness is a brilliant evolutionary strategy. 401 00:16:40,918 --> 00:16:42,669 They can't build spaceships, 402 00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,963 or even their own shelves to sit on. 403 00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:46,381 - Heh-heh, losers. 404 00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:47,841 - But they don't have to. 405 00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:50,844 They evolved to be irresistibly cute, 406 00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:54,389 so fools like everyone but me would collect them. 407 00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:57,768 This is an invasion where we're buying the invaders 408 00:16:57,768 --> 00:17:00,062 and bringing them into our homes! 409 00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:03,732 - Like my black mold Chia Pet? [coughing] 410 00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:05,776 - What would their leader look like? 411 00:17:05,776 --> 00:17:07,194 - The Alpha Funbag? 412 00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:09,530 Well, it wouldn't be a common one, 413 00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:10,739 like Chutney the Chipmunk 414 00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:13,367 or Extincty the Black Rhino. 415 00:17:13,367 --> 00:17:16,662 No, it would be rare and expensive. 416 00:17:16,662 --> 00:17:19,581 - One only within the purview of a top collector, 417 00:17:19,581 --> 00:17:22,584 such as myself, or Amy. Mm-hmm. 418 00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:24,545 - Or Amy? 419 00:17:24,545 --> 00:17:25,546 - Mm-hmm. 420 00:17:25,546 --> 00:17:28,298 ♪ mysterious music playing ♪ 421 00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:31,051 - Mandy, Mommy did something wrong, 422 00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:33,053 and it's time to make it right. 423 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:36,265 - You mean abandoning us for weeks to go toy shopping? 424 00:17:36,265 --> 00:17:38,851 - No, but that was also an oopsie. 425 00:17:38,851 --> 00:17:41,103 Here you go, Albert. 426 00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:43,480 And this one's for you, Nina. 427 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,274 - Got one to spare for a warden 428 00:17:45,274 --> 00:17:48,819 with an empty space on his shelf? And in his heart? 429 00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:50,362 - Of course! 430 00:17:50,362 --> 00:17:52,030 Enjoy, kids. 431 00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:55,993 I'm donating my whole collection to the Orphanarium! 432 00:17:55,993 --> 00:17:59,955 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 433 00:18:01,874 --> 00:18:03,125 - I'm back! 434 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:04,835 - [gasps] Mandy! 435 00:18:04,835 --> 00:18:07,796 I was scareded I'd never see you again. 436 00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:10,215 - Sally, I did a bad thing. 437 00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:12,509 Taking away your special toy. 438 00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:14,636 It's rare and valuable, 439 00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:16,638 and it belongs to you. 440 00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,307 - It's okay, you can keep it. 441 00:18:18,307 --> 00:18:20,642 I like the one you gave me more. 442 00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:23,854 - That cheap common one that anybody can get? 443 00:18:23,854 --> 00:18:25,355 Are you crazy?! 444 00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:26,523 - It's special to me, 445 00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:29,985 'cause it's the first time a mommy ever gived me a present. 446 00:18:29,985 --> 00:18:31,820 ♪ heartwarming music playing ♪ 447 00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:34,114 - Please, please take it back. 448 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:37,534 - Mm-mmm. It's important to you in some grown-up way, 449 00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:39,661 but to me, it's just a toy. 450 00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:42,289 - But that's the most important thing it can be. 451 00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:44,917 Just take it and have fun. 452 00:18:44,917 --> 00:18:48,337 - No! It's only fun to play with someone, 453 00:18:48,337 --> 00:18:50,297 especially Mandy. 454 00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:52,549 Is she allowed to play with me again? 455 00:18:53,425 --> 00:18:57,262 - You and Mandy can play together as much as you want. 456 00:18:57,262 --> 00:18:58,764 - Then, okay. 457 00:18:58,764 --> 00:19:00,015 [squishing] 458 00:19:00,015 --> 00:19:01,934 [Amy and Sally struggle] 459 00:19:01,934 --> 00:19:04,228 - Mommy, you're not letting go of it. 460 00:19:04,228 --> 00:19:06,522 [grunting, gasps] 461 00:19:06,522 --> 00:19:09,441 - You'll be okay. It's just a toy. 462 00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:12,069 [blinking] - [deep, scratchy voice] Let's cuddle! 463 00:19:12,069 --> 00:19:15,072 [screaming] 464 00:19:15,072 --> 00:19:18,116 ♪ ominous music playing ♪ 465 00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:21,954 [scared whimpering] 466 00:19:21,954 --> 00:19:23,539 ♪ 467 00:19:23,539 --> 00:19:25,082 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 468 00:19:25,082 --> 00:19:26,625 [Zapp humming heroic charge music] 469 00:19:26,625 --> 00:19:28,168 - Ow. 470 00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:29,753 [gasps] [door creaks] 471 00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:30,963 [all gasp] 472 00:19:30,963 --> 00:19:32,881 - [grunts] Help! 473 00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:36,134 [squeezing] It's... hugging my... neck! 474 00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:38,387 [choking] 475 00:19:38,387 --> 00:19:40,013 - Fear not! 476 00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:42,057 Kif, put him out of his misery. 477 00:19:42,057 --> 00:19:43,100 [zap] 478 00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:45,227 [rattling] 479 00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:46,854 [comical popping] 480 00:19:46,854 --> 00:19:48,480 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 481 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:49,523 - Ah! 482 00:19:50,649 --> 00:19:51,900 - Dear lord! 483 00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:53,777 When the Funbags explode, 484 00:19:53,777 --> 00:19:56,071 it triggers the beans to hatch! 485 00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:57,990 - So how are we supposed to kill them? 486 00:19:57,990 --> 00:20:00,617 - With my monkey-killing barrel, of course. 487 00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:02,995 Just place the fun bags in and... 488 00:20:02,995 --> 00:20:03,996 [imitates cutting throat] 489 00:20:03,996 --> 00:20:05,330 [kids whimpering] 490 00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:06,915 - You've met your match, 491 00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:09,626 tiny motionless cuddly animal. 492 00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:12,254 ♪ heartwarming music playing ♪ 493 00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:15,048 I can't do it. It's too adorable! 494 00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:18,093 - Don't be ridiculous. Give it to me. 495 00:20:18,093 --> 00:20:19,887 ♪ music continues ♪ 496 00:20:19,887 --> 00:20:21,847 Oh! Dammit! 497 00:20:21,847 --> 00:20:24,391 - The cuteness is too much, even for me! 498 00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:26,643 And I believe Bambi's mother deserved it! 499 00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:29,938 - It's no use. We're totally outgunned. 500 00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:32,691 AMY: Kif! Help! - Amy! 501 00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:34,401 [whimpering] 502 00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:36,153 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 503 00:20:36,153 --> 00:20:37,821 ♪ creepy cute music playing ♪ 504 00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,782 - Cuddle formation! 505 00:20:40,782 --> 00:20:42,075 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 506 00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,369 Forward, hug! 507 00:20:44,369 --> 00:20:46,038 ♪ dramatic crescendo ♪ 508 00:20:46,038 --> 00:20:48,498 - I'm scared, Mama! I need a hug! 509 00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:51,793 - No, Mandy! Whatever you do, no hugging! 510 00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:54,963 ♪ tense music playing ♪ 511 00:20:56,465 --> 00:20:58,842 - [whispers] We mustn't release the spores, 512 00:20:58,842 --> 00:21:00,802 so don't shoot anything. 513 00:21:00,802 --> 00:21:04,598 - How could I? Their eyes are just so big and cute. 514 00:21:05,349 --> 00:21:06,350 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 515 00:21:06,350 --> 00:21:09,394 Ah! Those tiny pinprick pupils! 516 00:21:09,394 --> 00:21:12,064 [zapping] 517 00:21:12,064 --> 00:21:15,651 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 518 00:21:15,651 --> 00:21:18,820 [popping] 519 00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:21,323 [all screaming] 520 00:21:21,323 --> 00:21:24,076 [screaming, wailing] 521 00:21:24,076 --> 00:21:26,662 [phone ringing] - Amy, I may not make it! 522 00:21:26,662 --> 00:21:29,414 You've got to kill the Alpha Funbag! 523 00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:31,083 - The Alpha Who-bag? 524 00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:34,336 - The leader! The leader! [choking] 525 00:21:34,336 --> 00:21:35,420 [static] 526 00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:36,713 - That's it! 527 00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:39,842 Nobody gets to hug Kif to death but me! 528 00:21:40,634 --> 00:21:42,553 Prepare to die! 529 00:21:42,553 --> 00:21:44,179 - You can't kill me! 530 00:21:44,179 --> 00:21:46,807 I'm the cutest thing in the universe! 531 00:21:46,807 --> 00:21:49,101 - Wrong! Because to a mother, 532 00:21:49,101 --> 00:21:52,479 the cutest thing in the universe is her own child. 533 00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:54,189 [choking] 534 00:21:54,189 --> 00:21:56,483 [Mandy choking] [Cashew CuddleFish laughing] 535 00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:58,443 - Mom! Stop it! 536 00:21:58,443 --> 00:21:59,653 - Oops! 537 00:22:00,654 --> 00:22:02,447 [sniffles] Goodbye... 538 00:22:02,447 --> 00:22:04,324 [coughing] 539 00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:07,828 - I know you said not to hug, but we're gonna! 540 00:22:07,828 --> 00:22:10,038 - Yeah, let's do. 541 00:22:10,038 --> 00:22:13,208 - Yes. Come give me a nice hug. 542 00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:14,918 You're making this too easy! 543 00:22:14,918 --> 00:22:17,504 [evil laughter] 544 00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:20,591 [crunching] [gagging] Hey! 545 00:22:20,591 --> 00:22:23,552 You're hugging too hard! 546 00:22:23,552 --> 00:22:25,345 [gasping, groans] 547 00:22:32,019 --> 00:22:34,229 - [panting] Am I too late? 548 00:22:34,229 --> 00:22:38,192 - No, but I may be a little snuggle-shy for a while. 549 00:22:38,192 --> 00:22:41,695 - That's okay. Although, I did just get you a map suit. 550 00:22:42,988 --> 00:22:45,324 - The Alpha Funbag is dead? 551 00:22:45,324 --> 00:22:47,367 How on earth did you do it?! 552 00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:50,370 - Cute recognize cute. 553 00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:52,164 [popping] 554 00:22:52,164 --> 00:22:53,957 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 555 00:22:53,957 --> 00:22:55,709 [screaming] 556 00:22:55,709 --> 00:22:56,960 [heavy thudding] 557 00:22:58,629 --> 00:23:01,715 - Hm. It seems the CuddleFish has been reduced 558 00:23:01,715 --> 00:23:03,342 to a common variant, 559 00:23:03,342 --> 00:23:05,427 with no special powers. 560 00:23:05,427 --> 00:23:07,095 - That's a convenient relief. 561 00:23:07,095 --> 00:23:10,015 - And look how many rare ones there are now. 562 00:23:10,015 --> 00:23:11,433 We're all rich! 563 00:23:11,433 --> 00:23:13,685 [all cheering] 564 00:23:13,685 --> 00:23:17,606 - They may be lousy toys, but they're a great investment. 565 00:23:17,606 --> 00:23:19,900 And I collected 'em all! 566 00:23:19,900 --> 00:23:22,903 ♪ gentle music playing ♪ 567 00:23:24,988 --> 00:23:27,533 ♪ operatic vocalizing ♪ 568 00:23:27,533 --> 00:23:30,869 [bulldozer engine roaring] 569 00:23:30,869 --> 00:23:33,664 - ♪ Gotta collect 'em, gotta collect 'em ♪ 570 00:23:33,664 --> 00:23:36,041 ♪ Gotta collect 'em all! ♪ 571 00:23:37,251 --> 00:23:40,254 ♪39886

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