Original subtitles

Thank you for choosing the underveil. I hope you enjoyed your stay.

All my shoes went missing and a voice in the mattress whispered that it liked my

bones. And I hope you enjoyed that.

Check it out.

Cursed snow globe.

Why do we get the same allowance if you don't do any work?

Ben, this is my work. While you're safe behind the desk, I'm in the hallways

where it all goes down.

Collecting and protecting the hotel from supernatural evils like this.

Oh, yeah.

That's worth a few bucks a week. Please stop.

Am I to understand you receive regular payment from the matriarch? How long

you been under there? Five days. Mom, I want more allowance. I want more than

that. Mom, I would also like allowance.

One, no. Two, no. Three, not your mom. And you don't get allowance.

Happy Death Day to me.

Happy Death Day to me.

Happy Death Day to Nathan. Happy Death Day to me.

How many?

Can you believe I died a year ago? What are we doing to celebrate?

Why would I celebrate the worst day of my life and the last day of yours? It's

called rebranding, girly pop.

Also, from what you told me, I died doing what I loved, swallowing whole

until I choked on one while watching Con Air.

Wow, I've never swallowed a grape whole. Ben, it's exquisite. I just wish I

remembered the grape that got me. You don't remember anything about the day

died? Most ghosts don't remember how they died.

Probably a defense mechanism against the existential horror of crossing over to

a new plane of reality.

Anyway, happy birthday.

I love it. Finally, a snow globe that's honest about how creepy snow globes are.

Thank you, Esther, for honoring my death.

Give that thing a shake.

You got it. Please don't. No one celebrates death, Dave. What's a cake

So the sky is turning black. I can honor your death. And you're smelling a bit

like sulfur?

Well, Ray can make his own decision. And why can't I have allowance?

And there are smoking skulls flying around.

Demon attack!

Ben Freeling, some kind of mannequin?

be a fun challenge for the hunting community.

You should see the other guy.

Yeah, that's him. What is this?

Salt. So long as the line's unbroken, demons can't cross it.

Got it. Quick cue for you. Does it have to be my fancy sea salt? I figured

something like this would happen eventually, so... Set up the parlor as a

room. Got stuff to fight vampires, wendigos, tulpas, Ben.

Uh, why Ben?

In case you go rogue. I get it. I also made emergency fanny packs with salt to

fight demons and granola to fight hunger. Can you do something about them?

I'll turn this smoke into a joke. Give me a few minutes.

And I'll call for help. From who? Not the postal service.

The mailman got possessed fast.

9 -1 -1 stopped taking our calls months ago. Which is why I'm calling the

Vatican. They're the cops of demons.

Pope, please.

I'll check the salt lines, Nathan. Watch for demons trying to get in. I already

see one.

Cats and dogs out there.

You know I could whistle.

Abaddon, who are these guys?

So you assume I know them. Why?

Because we're all demons?

Raised in the same primordial ichor?

Deathed to subjugate mankind with the nine stars of morning aligned?

Yes. They're the spawn of Rabasu, an ancient Assyrian demon who was always

to me. They were clearly summoned. Probably with that relic covered in

symbols. Esther! He said probably!

I got through!

Hi. My home is currently being attacked by Assyrian demons?

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Sorry, permission from who?

Got it. Would you be able to transfer me?

Great. They're transferring me. Got it! Anti -possession talisman. You made a

talisman? I can make a talisman. If someone goes to get supplies.

From outside this room? Yeah. Which we can't leave? Yeah. So.

We're still in huge trouble. Yeah.

What if Abaddon gets supplies?

Abaddon is a demon.

You remembered.

A demon who hates these demons. And the demon enemy of my demon enemy is my

demon friend.

But this demon friend can't read, write, or understand analogies and is

terrified of wind chimes. Only the wooden ones.

How will he remember what Esther needs without a list? How will he remember?

I remember the beginning of time when the veil of beyond tore open and this

planet spilled out like a pebble from a god's shoe. You tell me what you need

and I will remember it until the universe dies.

And I would also like an allowance.

That's a good deal, Kathy.

Oh, hello?

Sorry, I thought I heard a click. Still being transferred.

I guess we don't have a choice. Yes, yes, yes!

Okay, so I already have rat bones in the blood of a murderer.

I still need twine, cilantro, cedarwood, and garlic. You have the blood of a

murderer. What murderer? Stephen. We have a plan. I just hope this doesn't

any surprise parties you might have cooking. I will not fail.

That was an analogy.

It wasn't.

Speaking of life and death situations, I get the sense you don't want to talk

about my death day. You're still thinking about that right now. I told

don't like to think about the day you died. Died and came back. Still had to

plan a funeral. You know, you don't always have to avoid tough issues.

Avoid tough issues. I run a haunted hotel. I'm letting my son date a ghost

do something I don't understand with a mannequin. I'm fighting demons as we

speak.

You don't talk about those things. We've never talked about me dying. And maybe

I don't want to. Well, I don't. Mom!

Your hand is in the salt.

What?

Hey,

the smoke detectors work.

Finally. Hello.

Ben!

You may lose me for a minute. It sucks!

Esther?

Esther's not here right now.

Release me!

So, no, right?

Grab her!

This is Ben. Do I have permission to yank your ankles?

Wow, that's all core strength.

Get her down!

On it!

Get her down a better way!

Hang on a sec.

Yes, so I've been on hold, and now my sister is full off the desk.

Uh -huh.

You know what? I will ask. Mom, was Esther baptized?

No! Got it.

Not as such.

Tell them we're open to it.

You think this will hold me? I was born before the star that lights your

pathetic planet.

I was born in the grocery store. Ben, don't talk to the demons. Is anyone else

worried that the person who knew how to fight demons got herself possessed by a

demon? I didn't get possessed. I got in the way of Ben getting possessed.

And soon.

My brothers will possess and kill all of you. I don't care how powerful you are.

My daughter gave us a way to fight you. And any minute, Abaddon is going to walk

through that door with supplies to make it happen.

I got the buttons.

Abaddon. What is this?

100 buttons, as requested.

The request is for five things, and none of them were buttons.

I don't think so. In Abaddon's defense, there are some really nice buttons in

here. Wait, some of these are raisins. Ben, we might need your plan after all.

Really? Because I just got off the phone with Cardinal Saveri, and he said if I

sent you proof of possession that you could have... No, no, no. No, no, no.

Don't transfer me back.

Ciao, Cardinal Saveri. Or we can send Abaddon out again.

You've barely touched the buttons you have. Because we don't need buttons.

He's stalling. He wants you to be possessed.

You want us to be possessed. He's just unreliable. You think I'm unreliable? I

think you're technically on our side. Are you sure?

Would someone who's on your side put pennies in your mouth while you sleep?

Okay, you can't just make up. That's you?

I thought I had a sleep disorder.

You get pennies? Huh, I get nickels. They do the same thing. Which is what?

And how'd the demon know about it? I see your secrets in your souls as clearly

as your faces. Which is how I know he will betray you.

As he betrayed the dryer by tumbling inside of it too much. You broke the

It burns and thrashes me like hell. And now I have to hang clothes to dry and

all the ghosts pretend they're wearing my bras.

Really shouldn't have those in the dryer anyway.

And so the first domino falls.

Trust phrase.

And the sheet will drop. The demon is obviously trying to divide us, which

it knows Abaddon can help us. Here's the list of what we need. I drew pictures

of everything.

I will not fail you.

And I will switch to quarters in the future. It's not about the type of

quarters. Forget it.

Ben, what are you doing? Sending a picture to Cardinal Silveri.

What do you mean, empty chair?

Do you not appear in photographs?

You think you're safe because the demon is gone?

I know all your secrets. The lies you tell each other. Release me and we will

make your bets swift.

You think we have secrets that are so bad we'd rather die than reveal them?

try, but... Catherine lost your ashes.

Lost my ashes?

You cremated me? When I specifically told you since we were kids that I

my body to be shot out of a cannon and onto a trampoline that brings me into a

pit of tigers? That's not possible, and even if it was, I can't afford it.

Probably because she's spending all her money on crystals.

Crystals? Like the rocks?

They have proven healing properties, and I only have a few. She has 200 in her

closet. They do different things. Guys, we can't let this demon divide us. Send

some guest room furniture to buy magic tricks.

Is that why lamps keep going missing? I'll buy a... thousand lamps when i'm a

wealthy magician you don't hear about a lot of wealthy magicians don't steal

from the hotel maybe he wouldn't have to if he got the same allowance as hester

wait i thought we got the same allowance you did Until she wore me down. She's

very persistent.

I'm persistent. I've been transferred five times. And she doesn't even do

chores. Speaking of chores.

Yeah, we're not doing this. Fine. Then you ask me a question.

We're not doing that either. Did Catherine ever have a plan for my death

party? No. I knew it. I already told you that. And I hoped you were lying to

maintain the surprise.

Yeah, I don't think we should use the demon to dig up secrets. Was the loan I

gave Nathan five years ago really for night classes?

That was just the name of the horse she was betting on. Did Catherine really get

a storage?

She threw them out last year.

That's Ben, and you know why.

That's pee, and it's yours.

Abaddon of the Gerasenes.

Anuna, that mailer of men is under my protection.

He hoisted me into his van and let me press the horn. Then come and claim him.

Simple question, yes or no? Okay, okay, fine.

I don't think your short stories are very good.

You know how long it takes Ben to tack those up. Effort doesn't equal quality.

Look, let's all calm down. We're letting this demon get to us. I actually don't

think the demon has said anything in a while. I was just waiting my turn.

Nathan, why don't you ask your sister why she won't celebrate your death day?

Because it's sad.

Is that the reason? Or is it because you feel too guilty?

Wait, why would you feel guilty?

Aw, hey, little guy.

Ah!

Demon, dear!

It's okay. It's okay. They can't cross the salt line.

The salt betrayed us. Run!

The demons are in the deer now. I'm getting nibbled back

here. This way.

Ben,

it's now or never. As a matter of fact, I won't hold because my family is about

to die.

So I need a goddamn priest at this goddamn hotel right goddamn now.

Thank you.

So they can send someone in a week.

Esther, now would be a really good time to fight this thing. And I think it's a

good time to talk about Nathan's... Talk about Nathan's what? And why'd she say

you felt guilty? Nathan, it's not a good time to talk about this. So there is

something to talk about. No, I mean, yes, but it's big.

So tell me before a demon does. Okay.

Okay. You know the story I told you about how you died?

I choked on grapes watching Con Air. That's not entirely true.

Like, I wasn't watching Con Air? No.

A different Nick Cage movie? No.

So I was swallowing grapes in a movie.

There were no grapes.

You... You killed yourself.

I'm gonna, uh... Over there.

Nathan. Okay.

Uh... Okay.

I'm so sorry. At first I assumed you knew, but then I realized you didn't.

then it felt like I should have told you earlier, but I didn't know how.

I mean, how do you tell someone that?

And after a while, it felt like it didn't matter anymore.

It didn't matter? I just mean you're dead either way.

But the way mattered.

Abaddon! Is...

That the mailman's hat? Our battle took us from the highest roof to the lowest

basement. But I emerged victorious and smote his ruin upon the gazebo. You

actually got everything.

Ben, help me with this. You're just not going to talk about this. For the

record... I didn't know. Great, Ben didn't know. So I know as much about my

death as Ben does. I was trying to protect you.

How does not knowing that I killed myself protect me? Because I didn't know

would happen if I told you. And I didn't want you to live with this forever just

because you had one bad day.

One bad day?

I had a lot of bad days. Sorry to interrupt, but I'm done with this.

Don't you dare put that on me.

Nathan listens to all your phone calls. Ben was an accident.

Catherine is unsure about a female president.

For the record, this has all been part of my plan. Oh, thank God.

We will talk about this later.

Sure.

It works.

Let's go.

Guys, come on. It's okay.

Oh, Esther.

Thanks for the hug.

Esther, let go of Ben.

Why, Mommy?

Something's different about you. Feeling less good about this hug. But you're

wearing a talisman. Which only works with the right materials. You needed

cilantro. This is parsley.

Parsley? The demon was faking.

Can we all acknowledge that I did a good job with what I was given?

No! You need to go. I can't leave them.

You can't save them if you're possessed, too.

That's about to happen, by the way.

Run!

Use the salt!

There's no doorway!

To make a circle!

Okay, here's what we do. Abaddon, run back inside. Grab all the herbs and

spices.

Abaddon. I didn't see the demon's deception.

I don't deserve allowance.

What are you doing? There must be something in here that can help. Maybe

destroy this stupid snow globe. Wait, what if that makes things worse? Worse?

The sky is filled with demons, my children are possessed, and I'm trapped

tiny circle of fancy salt. And I'm furious at you, but it can always get

I don't see how.

My good chains.

Ben! Esther!

What are they doing?

The lake.

Assyrian demons possessed to kill. So old -fashioned. Oh, my God. I have to

them.

You can't. You'll just get possessed, too.

Maybe not if my mouth is full of salt. You're betting your lives on a maybe?

I should have told you. I told myself I was protecting you, but that was only

part of it.

I was ashamed I wasn't there when you needed me. But I've tried to be there

every day since.

Don't.

You got pretty close. Almost as close as you got to graduating

college.

I left school because I was pregnant, and I still got my degree online three

years later.

Kathy! They had a good run.

I'm going to go lay in a grave for a few months.

The snow globe.

This all started when Esther dropped it.

But we don't need to break it. We need to fix it. Abaddon, you like games,

right? I've been known to hoop. Well, this is a game. And the goal is to get

roof back on the hotel before our family drowns. No, I've failed enough today.

Come on. What about the mailman? You beat him up and stole his hat. I only

that to impress you.

He fell down the stairs.

Okay, so things didn't work out the way you planned. But if you give up now,

you'll regret it.

Believe me.

Also, you'll definitely get an allowance for this.

Where are you going?

To be with them.

You guys can hear me? There's still time to fight them. There's not.

This one wears his belt too tight.

We're taking them into the water. You can take back control.

Esther broke through, right?

When she was mad.

Esther, you were the ugliest baby I ever saw.

Ben, I didn't like you until you were 10.

I thought you were smug.

Kathy, you didn't lose all your retainers when we were kids.

I flushed him down the toilet for no reason.

None of that! Come on!

Kathy, don't give up. I love you.

I love you, too.

Let's go for a swim.

Anytime, Abaddon!

It's more challenging than it appears.

I'm not leaving you.

For allowance.

Oh, I love breathing so much.

Jeez, the mail is going to be so late today.

You saved us.

How? It was Abaddon. I would like my allowance now.

You can have a dollar.

Yes, yes, yes.

I still think it's fair that the demon revealed a bunch of stuff about me and,

like, nothing about you. I'll tell you anything. I have four tattoos. I know

we're all gonna die. My firstborn son has promised to the Sisters of the Moon.

You know what? Never mind. A brother should only know so much about a sister.

All last month, I was trapped in a mirror. And what you thought was me was

actually a copy. Stop it!

Happy Death Day.

Finally! Was that so hard?

It was, actually.

I wish you'd talked to me.

Before.

Yeah.

You know, you still can.

Talk to me.

Like you said, it wouldn't matter now.

It might.