Original subtitles

Bro, this is giving me DDLJ vibes.

This is the first time I'm helping a girl elope.

Idiot, no one eloped in DDLJ.

We've eloped, but where are we gonna go?

Tell her, Aasmaan.

Why does a guy elope with a girl?

Why does a girl elope with a guy?

It's really nice.

- Parvaiz. - Yes, I know.

- Hello. - Abdul bhai!

- She said yes. - Okay, I'll bring him over.

She said yes.

Stop dancing. Let's get the old man there.

Let's go, let's go.

Now we'll have to bail them both out.

Don't say such things.

Go faster, please.

Parvaiz's calling…

- Hello. - Where are you guys?

Mom, Karishma and I are getting married.

- What? - Go, get her tiger!

Have you lost your mind, Aasmaan?

- Come to the location I'm sending you. - Don't do it.

- Listen to me-- - Bye. Love you. Hurry up.

- What did she say? - What did she say?

- What could she say? - Hey!

Avtar, we have the location.

Take the next U-turn.

Bro, look at the car behind us.

Maashaa-allaah! Love the colour! Just like a Barbie doll.

Fuck! That's my dad!

Step on it, Parvaiz!

Ajay sir!

He won't leave us alone.

Parvaiz, come on, hurry up!

Fast, please!

Oh, my God!

Parvaiz, we'll get trapped!

Oh, my God!

No, but your dad will.

Oh, fuck!

Where the fuck are we? What the fuck is going on?

I don't know! You think I do this every day?

Stupid couple!

Guys, I think I'm gonna throw up!

Hey! Don't throw up in my car!

Let me focus, guys, please!

Look ahead!

Parvaiz!

Hit the brake! We're dead, dead!

Asshole!

What are you doing, Parvaiz?

- What are you doing, Parvaiz? - Parvaiz, stop!

Parvaiz, don't!

That car is coming at us!

Thank God.

- Yeah! - Bro!

How'd you know he'd steer away?

Because our daughter was not in his car, bro.

Oh, man!

- I tore Ajay Talvar a new one! - Parvaiz!

Sorry, Karishma.

Cheers to Sailab 2.

The film that made my company will save it again.

Our company.

So, Jeejeebhoy, how many times did Freddy make you watch this film?

- Sir, you should see this. - Go on.

In a world full of--

Pink Ferrari turns into Ajay Talvar's ride.

What the fuck is going on?

- …he was spotted driving like a maniac. - What is he doing?

The son of a bitch better not die.

- …has Ajay Talvar lost it? - I just signed him.

Superstar, my ass!

I'm the man! I'm the man! I'm the--

Stop the car!

Fuck! Why the hell doesn't he leave us alone!

Stop the car!

- Dad, stop! - Karishma, don't do this, darling.

Karishma, please!

Stop! Parvaiz, there's a fucking truck ahead!

We won't be able to make it!

I'm not blind!

Stop!

Fuck!

What the fuck is wrong with you! Just stop the car right now!

Open your eyes!

Always with you.

Stop. Stop. Stop it, Parvaiz!

Fuck!

Fucking number one

I'm here for a face-off

I bow down to none

A mighty storm, yes, that's me

A wilful fire, I'm fiery

I'm a heat-seeking missile

There's no one else like me

They say kick this attitude

But old habits die hard

Listen up, shining stars

To what I have to say

In this big bad world

I'll be fucking number one!

Yeah, I'll be fucking number one!

You know I'm fucking number one!

Turn on the lights!

The hero and heroine are here.

Bhai…

The perfect location for you guys.

Film studio.

Bhai, salam alaikum.

- Salam, bhai. - Walaikum assalam.

Sign these papers after they are stamped.

Then you're legally married.

He's a little slow, but it'll get done.

"A little slow"?

Hey.

Hey! Hey!

What's wrong with him?

Sign language.

The idiot is slow, and hard of hearing too. I'll--

Bhai, no, it's okay. It's all right.

Anyway, congratulations on your wedding.

If you need a visa to plan your honeymoon, let us know.

We'll get going.

- Thank you, bhai. - Khuda hafiz.

Thank you, bhai.

- Thank you. - Khuda hafiz.

Bhai, what about the payment for this?

Really?

Come on, man.

Come here, man.

Ma man.

Sir.

Go faster, Avtar.

I hope we don't miss the wedding.

- How much longer? - Twenty minutes.

How about a romantic pic before Chacha and your mom get here?

You look great. Come on.

Wait. Karishma.

Karishma.

Why are you so worried?

I know your dad has a Ferrari.

But not this location.

You don't know my dad.

Ajay sir, you seemed to be in a hurry.

Sir, don't be upset, please. I'm just doing my job.

I promise I'll delete it, sir.

Listen…

I have something to say to you, which I should have said sooner.

Go ahead.

I love you.

I love you too.

Aw, so cute.

What the fuck, Dad! You could've killed me!

Did I?

Let me.

Fuck!

Aasmaan!

You bloody old geezer!

Hit him, quick!

What the--

Dad!

Oh, shit!

Fuck.

This is the place.

- Bhabhi. - Yeah?

- You go that way. I'll check here. - Let's go.

Guys, please! Aasmaan!

Aasmaan!

Scream Aasmaan's name out in the bedroom.

Sign these papers first!

That's it.

Stay away from my daughter.

And you stay away from my son!

Shit, shit, shit, shit!

- Why haven't you signed yet? - I can't find a pen.

Did that old geezer take it with him?

How dare you lift your hand on kids, asshole?

Try lifting it now! Come on! Do it! Come on, lift it!

Hey!

Who's lifting me up? Hey!

Somebody help!

Hey!

Karishma, pen.

- Oh, fuck. - Oh, fuck.

Are we going the right way?

Sukhi, how are you, bro?

Don't you remember Goa?

Don't you remember our friendship? We have a relationship.

Sorry, bhai.

Work comes first.

What do you mean?

Are you okay?

Shit.

Aasmaan!

After getting kicked out of Karan Johar and Freddy Sodawallah's films,

- Aasmaan Singh… - I want new staff.

- And a new office space. - …landed in Mumbai jail.

We can visit some tomorrow.

See Aasmaan's family outside the police station.

- What the fuck! - His family first saw, in his hands…

Hey, guys.

…the award, and now the cuffs.

Did you see this?

- What? - Aasmaan Singh, the fall of a rising star.

Jeejeebhoy, turn on the projector.

Are you okay, son?

Aasmaan!

Aasmaan, sign the papers!

Aasmaan, what are you looking at? Sign the papers. You'll get married.

Sign it, son!

Aasmaan, sign it!

No, Karishma.

I won't let a piece of paper decide the fate of our lives.

Because I came here to write my own destiny.

Aasmaan, what are you--

What the fuck, Aasmaan!

Oh, fuck!

But I just don't get it, sir.

Why do you hate me so much?

Why don't you want to see your daughter happy?

I guess you'll never understand my love for her.

And I…

will never understand your hatred.

You know what the problem is with people like us?

We don't think with our head,

we think with our heart.

And you, sir…

On screen, you seem like the biggest star ever.

but up close, you are an awful, lowly,

and despicable man.

It's all right, sir,

take Karishma with you.

But I won't stop.

Because you taught me, sir,

you want what you want.

Whether it's today, tomorrow or even the day after,

she'll definitely be mine one day.

Because I want…

what I want.

Aasmaan…

Stay away from Karishma.

No.

Stop!

You'll stay away from Karishma.

No.

- Aasmaan! - Aasmaan, no!

No!

Stop!

In a world full of pretty girls

Yearns my lonely heart

Son of a bitch.

In a world full of pretty girls

Yearns my lonely heart

I'm looking for a companion

To be friends with

I'm looking for a companion

To be friends with

When was this movie released?

Twenty-six years ago.

How old is Aasmaan?

Twenty-six years old.

Fucking bastard.

I'm Rajat and this is Neeta. We're Aasmaan's parents.

Hello.

Here, and there, this way and that

There are so many pretty faces

- Who's the heroine? - Karishma.

Karishma Talvar?

We're going for a walk.

Excuse me.

- Hello, Ajay? - Neeta, is that you?

I wouldn't have called if it wasn't urgent.

Aasmaan just told me about Karan's film.

Karishma and Aasmaan are going to work together.

Yes, I know.

Don't worry. I won't let that happen.

But someone who can stop me in my tracks

I'm yet to see such a face

So, you're gonna make a 100-crore film with two newcomers?

Have you lost your mind?

This is a Karan Johar film. And I'm betting on myself.

And this is not the launch I want for my daughter.

You can't do this to me, man.

I just did.

Ajay, what are you doing?

What if they become close--

They won't.

I'll find another way.

In a world full of pretty girls

Yearns my lonely heart

I'm looking for a companion

To be friends with

I'm looking for a companion

To be friends with

Aasmaan.

Aasmaan.

Aasmaan.

I want to ask something before you leave.

Did Dad know about this?

So you never loved him.

It was all a sham.

Are you even sad that he died or was that also an act--

Aasmaan!

Ask me anything you want,

but never question my love for your father.

Which father?

How could you do this?

You just got engaged!

And you eloped with that good-for-nothing Aasmaan!

To marry him?

Mom!

We don't know anything about his family.

Who they are? Where they are from?

What his father does?

Don't worry, Anu.

I'll handle it.

Oh, please!

I've seen how you handle things.

Why were you driving like a maniac?

What's going on with you, Ajay?

Yeah, Dad, what's going on?

You shut up!

- Madam. - What is it, Lallan?

The fence repairman's waiting for his payment.

This fucking fence.

You two sort your shit out!

Come on.

Karishma…

I'm sorry, darling.

Don't worry, Dad.

I won't tell Mom.

You can leave.

That's not how it is--

Just leave.

Please.

You poor bastard,

but lucky you, ignorance is bliss.

It's better to remain ignorant.

Cheers.

Take a swig.

Go on.

Everything will be all right.

You'll have something?

Listen, I know it goes without saying,

but no one can know about all this.

For my mother's sake.

Don't worry.

How's your mom doing?

I don't know if I can ever forgive her.

I haven't forgiven him either.

But maybe they didn't have a choice.

What could they do?

Tell the truth.

Then I would've grown up in a broken family.

And you…

without your dad.

It's just a fucked up situation.

But amidst all of this,

I hope…

I made a new friend.

Well, then, take care.

Wait.

I have to give you something.

Welcome to the club,

nepo.

See you then…

on rakhi.

Asshole.

You have a great career ahead,

but not your lead actor.

Sir, he's one of the most talented actors--

Still hustling, Sanya, still hustling.

In fact, the way you got him my film, I was very impressed.

Just doing my job, sir.

But now, it's time to move on to bigger and better stars.

Superstars.

Fuck all jacket, Karan.

Oh, fuck you too, Ranbir.

Oh, my God.

You're Sanya, right?

- Karan is a huge fan of yours. - And I'm your biggest fan.

- Wow. - Hi. So nice to meet you.

Hi. The vape…

I'm so sorry.

That's fantastic, but when can we start?

I don't mind starting today, but tomorrow's fine too.

Are you serious?

Is that a yes or a yes?

I'm extremely flattered.

Yeah, yeah, we know. Moving on…

But I can't, sir.

You what?

I can't.

You can't?

Don't be hasty, Sanya.

You're a good manager.

I'm honoured you think I'm a good manager, sir.

But I think I'm a better friend.

Is that the first time a girl has turned you down?

So, this is how it feels?

I wouldn't know.

I'm so sorry. Really.

Please keep it.

How sweet.

Stupidity!

No, Karan.

That's loyalty.

How is he?

He's been boycotted by the industry,

his girlfriend is now his sister and he has two dads.

- How do you think he is? - Parvaiz!

He's right.

I came here to be an actor,

but I never imagined I'd have to act all the time.

I can't do this.

What?

I'm going.

Where?

Away from this industry.

I told you,

one for one.

Don't talk nonsense to me.

Asshole, who hits that hard?

The ones that love you.

He's right, though.

Who will give him work after the FilmFirst scandal?

I can think of one person.

You got kicked to the curb by the entire industry and now you come to me.

Do I look like an idiot?

Who do you think I am?

What? Plan B?

Second option?

Am I the stepney?

- Never, bhai. - No, sir.

- Never. Where are you, bhai? - No, bhai, not at all.

Take off the masks!

Is the problem that our work is illegal?

- Huh? - No, bhai.

Okay, let me be 100% legal with you.

A three-film contract

with Gafoor Film International.

- Gafoor… - A three-film contract.

- Gafoor Film International? - Gafoor Film… Yes!

- …International. - Gafoor…

Aiza, give me the contract.

Here, sign it.

Sign it.

Take it.

- Does anyone have a pen? - Who has a pen?

Give me a pen.

Fuck, another contract!

- Someone get a pen. - Who has a pen?

Bastards, you have fucking knives on you, can't one of you keep a pen?

They can't find a pen.

- Thank God. - Get a pen!

Quiet.

Forget it if we can't find a pen.

Sir, pen.

Man, what kind of a manager is she?

I bet she has five bloody pens today.

Okay, sign it.

Come on. Sign in that corner.

I was just kidding.

They were shit scared.

Are you crazy!

Well, contracts don't matter here.

Only my word does.

Come on, bring it in.

Get your visas stamped, assholes. The next shoot will be international.

How is Aasmaan?

He's angry.

How about Karishma?

She'll be okay.

I quit.

I'm sorry.

I tried my best--

No, I'm sorry too.

I had promised that our paths won't cross ever again.

I think I was destined…

to meet my son like this.

Did you have something to say to me?

What's left to say…

You tell me.

You called me here.

I did?

You texted me and called me here.

I called you here!

How did you like my spoofing device?

We only had a suspicion.

But thank you for confirming it.

But don't worry, your secret is safe with us.

Or is it, Jeejeebhoy?

Only if they agree.

You can't do this, Freddy.

But, Ajay,

I just did.

We just did.

What's going on, Ajay?

However, I do have some good news.

You don't need to do Sailab 2.

But, Aunty,

we definitely need you.

For Aasmaan's dates, of course.

And yours…

Yours and Karishma's too, sir.

Because we're gonna make India's biggest family drama.

And the title of the movie will be…

The media talks rubbish all the time.

He was not drinking and driving!

On top of that, the dog bit Lallan.

Oh, God!

- How could this day get any worse? - Mom.

I have to tell you something.