Original subtitles

Gafoor!

Gafoor!

Gafoor bhai!

Gafoor!

Gafoor!

Gafoor!

Gafoor!

Gafoor!

Gafoo--

I've been laying low for years

and this fool is screaming my name at the top of his voice.

He's an idiot.

Bhai…

he was an idiot.

"Was!"

Killer, bhai.

Gafoor!

Fucking number one

I'm here for a face-off

I bow down to none

A mighty storm, yes, that's me

A wilful fire, I'm fiery

I'm a heat-seeking missile

There's no one else like me

They say kick this attitude

But old habits die hard

Listen up, shining stars

To what I have to say

In this big bad world

I'll be fucking number one!

Yeah, I'll be fucking number one!

You know I'm fucking number one!

Talking to Freddy is not an option.

Thanks, anyway.

Sign it.

Ya Allah.

- How? - Show me.

We had a polite conversation, and he agreed.

Dude, what are you saying!

Bro, how did you do it?

You're tickling me.

Hey.

It tickles! Don't!

Hey!

If this is fake, he'll end up in jail.

Come on, man.

Give me a pen. Let me sign it.

Pen…

"Pen…"

What kind of a manager doesn't carry a pen?

- Can you use a pen? - I can use it better than you.

- Using a pen… - Forget the pen!

Fuckers, it's the time to celebrate. Let's go and have a drink!

Chacha, you're the best!

Finally.

Come here.

Aasmaan.

Invite your female friend too.

Look at his crooked smile.

You should come too.

Karishma!

Why are you sitting like a '90s villain?

Where are you going?

I'm going out for drinks.

With?

With some friends. Aasmaan and all.

- Sorry, darling, you can't. - Why not?

It's not like that.

I've called Sameer for dinner and he's on his way.

You should've told me earlier, Dad.

I was so disturbed after watching that video that I felt…

But it's okay.

You go out and have fun.

And don't worry, I'll tell him you're busy.

No, it's fine. Tell him to come.

Love you, darling.

Love you too.

Yes, Uncle?

Come over for dinner.

I've already eaten.

Then eat again.

Good boy.

I'm so sorry, Aasmaan, I can't make it tonight.

Something came up with my Dad, and…

Okay, then see you tomorrow at the script reading.

Okay. Pick me up at 8:00 tomorrow.

- We can rehearse at Boho. - See you tomorrow.

See you. Bye.

Is she not coming?

She won't, bro. She won't come.

These rich people go to a different bar.

On the other side of Bandra.

Hi.

Can I buy you a drink?

Sorry, I don't drink.

Your loss.

One sec…

Are you crazy?

Bro, that drink is not in your budget, but this one is. Enjoy it.

Two shots, please!

So many girls. Make some love, baby.

Bro, bro, bro…

She turned out to be LGTV.

Kyun?

What do you mean, "why"?

It's her choice.

Twenty-six years ago,

after the disappearance of Cyrus Sodawallah,

his son, Freddy Sodawallah, took over the reins of the company.

And despite receiving huge funding from the Chintamani Group,

due to non-completion of projects,

today, after 45 years, this company is on the verge of bankruptcy.

The end of an era.

When are you vacating this office?

I need the space.

I'll open a gift shop here.

Technically, there are three more days before the company dissolves.

And what can you do in three days?

Something you couldn't do all your life.

Really?

What's that?

I'll put my legs on the table.

How dare you!

Who the hell do you think you are?

You wasted my money! You wasted my time!

You ruined your father's reputation!

Hey! Freddy! You motherfucker!

Let go of me!

Hey! I'll kill you! Let go!

I'll ruin you, motherfucker!

Come back in three days.

Damn you!

You said you're looking for something new.

We found a sensational, rooted song.

This song has gone viral across the country.

It's Punjabi rock with a modern twist.

Interesting. Whose song is it?

Adam and Avtar.

Avtar? Who the fuck is Avtar?

Walking down the street

When you look me in the eye

You asked me if I was okay

If I was gonna cry

I looked at you, then I said

It's okay, it's all in my head

Do you wanna know

What's really on my mind?

You have no idea

What my intentions were

The world disliked me

And I disliked the world

Hey, you have no idea

What my intentions were

The world disliked me

And I disliked the world

I have a heart of stone now

That's what the Lord has destined

I don't care anymore

I don't live in fear anymore

This is a selfish world

No one cared about me

I've forsaken everyone

I shoved away the world and moved on

There's something near, I can feel it

A radiant light, shining gracefully

I feel the divine grace of the Lord

Bestowed upon me

I'll break every barrier

I'll turn the way of the wind

I'm driven by the desire to win

You have no idea

What my intentions were

The world disliked me

And I disliked the world

Avtar, wake up!

Who died?

Guess what?

We just got a call from Dharma's office.

- Did Aasmaan get another movie? - No.

But you might get one.

What?

Karan Johar wants to meet you and Adam.

What are you saying?

- Fuck, yes! - Fuck, yeah!

Guys, guys!

It's just a meeting. It's not confirmed yet.

Hey…

You have no idea.

And no more medicines in two months.

The doctor said I'm going to be fine.

And I can have a drink once a week.

Really? The doctor said that?

Of course. He'll arrange for an IV line of whiskey directly into his liver.

Bhabhi, get one for me too.

Hey, Rajat,

you poor bastard.

You ain't made of gold, motherfucker.

Now it's gonna rain money, bro.

Who did you rob?

- Karan Johar wants my song. - We locked the deal.

Your brother is setting the town on fire.

- Fuck! - That's awesome!

I don't care what Neeta or the doctor says,

- we still haven't had our drink together. - Of course, bro!

- Chacha! - Chachu!

Golden jubilees…

Running around trees…

No script, no fucking wig!

I miss those days, man.

Me too, Hansraj. Me too.

- That's the problem these days. - What?

#MeToo.

There was "Me too" back in the day too,

but it was different.

When I fucked a girl,

they used to line up outside my room,

and they'd scream,

"Me too, Hansraj! Me too!"

Come on, man, don't say this out loud.

They'll boycott you.

They can fucking boycott me.

At least I'll be on the news.

You're crazy.

Well, not everyone is Ajay Talvar, dude.

How did you turn out to be such a gentleman amidst all of this?

You had women throwing themselves at you,

but you only had eyes for Anu.

Because the girls I liked were standing outside your room.

What could I do?

Don't try to be cool, you fucker.

Now you'll give me a spiel,

"True love is true love. The heart desires what the heart desires."

"And there's nothing greater than love in this world."

But let me tell you, buddy, there's no substitute for a good old fuck!

I miss sex, man.

I was thinking that this time, I should ditch you.

Okay, then. Bye.

Listen.

Since I'm already here, let's go.

Fine.

Where are you guys off to?

- Hi, sir. - Hi.

Just stepping out. We have some homework.

Why not do your homework at home?

Dad, Karan has sent new pages. We have to learn them by tomorrow.

We'll rehearse at Boho House.

What does Boho House have that our house doesn't?

Great view, uniformed staff,

and Gauri Khan did the interiors for both.

- Come. - Sir, we wouldn't wanna bother you.

- Dad, please, we'll be back by midnight. - Yeah.

Thirty years of experience at your service, guys.

Come. Come in.

Dad, you didn't have to do this.

What's the point of being a superstar when your own kids don't value you?

Good night, Ajay!

- Thanks so much, buddy, for a great party. - Anytime, anytime.

- Good night, Karishma. - Good night.

- Good night, Sameer. - You too, sir.

Yeah, me too.

Me too!

- And you, get my car. - You came here in a taxi, sir.

Yeah.

These… These scenes were not in the first draft.

It's a new draft. It's quite cool.

Yeah, but this is too much.

Basic love scenes.

Nobody runs around trees anymore, Dad.

Do you like this house?

Yeah.

It's here because I run around trees.

- Yeah. - Okay, seriously,

I have an early morning tomorrow.

Who is holding you back, darling?

- Come on, Aasmaan, start. - Fine.

"So…

that's probably the best sex I ever had."

"I know."

"And I'm just getting started."

Ajay sir!

- Hey! - Hey!

- Hey, stop. - Stop.

- Stop! - Hey…

Ajay sir!

Just a photo, please.

Only one picture, sir. Please.

- You're my God, sir. Please. - Sir.

Only one picture, please.

Just one picture, sir. Just one, please.

- Only one picture. - Quiet!

This is not how you ask for pictures.

Sukhi?

- Yes, sir. - No, no!

- Don't kick me out. - Quiet!

- You wanted a picture, right? - Yes.

Give me your phone.

Take a picture.

Okay.

Thank you so much, sir.

Don't do this again.

- I love you, sir. - You got away with it this time.

Sukhi, take him to Dr. Agarwal.

Okay, sir.

And get that fence fixed.

Okay, sir.

It's insane, sir, the love people have for you.

But love can be a dangerous thing.

Sorry about my Dad. He was being so weird.

It's all right. At least we learnt our lines.

Bye.

Listen, I'm having a party.

Really?

Well, have fun.

I'm inviting you, you idiot.

I know.

It's your birthday, isn't it?

And no entry without a gift. So you better put some thought into it.

I'll think about it.

- Bye. - Bye.

Bye-bye. Yeah, toodles.

- Oh, dear. - Fantastic marketing strategy, Karan.

I mean, using the Heimlich manoeuvre to sell a love story.

- Now that's a manoeuvre. - It wasn't. She was really choking.

- Yeah. - Don't lie to me.

From one genius to another.

- Ajay. - Ajay would have flipped.

- Tell me what his reaction was. - I will. Just now.

Surprised?

What a surprise, Ajay sir!

Always surprising me on my set.

You're always welcome.

I'll… I'll go, do final checks.

Final checks!

Fucker.

Ajay, what's up?

You don't come this early even to your own set.

Because of the scenes you've written.

Glad you liked the script.

The intimacy, Karan.

It's too much.

Ajay, Ajay, no one runs around trees anymore.

And Karishma's important to me as well.

- Don't worry. - How can I not?

This is my daughter's first film.

I get it.

I get it but…

this is my film too.

Let me make it my way.

And you know very well,

nobody, nobody makes love stories better than…

Karan Johar, ladies and gentlemen!

You must have heard the name.

Fucking asshole.

Where were you?

I went to meet Karan.

You're overthinking this just because she's a girl?

How many kissing scenes have you done?

Just twice, Anu.

Oh, please.

There were two in Sailab alone.

Why are you taking off your shoes?

Aren't we going to the Sinhas? To plan Karishma's birthday.

You go ahead. I don't want to come.

Whatever. Behave like Shaumik. I'm going.

- What's wrong, Reshma? - No.

Hey, dude, be smooth for a good mood.

This is so unfair.

Use Mansmooth lotion, or your girl might--

Slimy bastard.

Anu, wait. I'm coming too.

You changed your mind. How come?

I have something to discuss with Sameer.

Sir.

Coffee.

Perfect.

Thank you, Jeejeebhoy.

Everything my father did…

everything I did…

everything we did…

it's all gone.

You can go too.

Leave me alone.

Sir…

It's my final order.

Yes. Yes, sir?

It's a miracle, Jeejeebhoy. Our company is safe.

The company is saved.

- We are back! - Sir, are you serious?

- It's a miracle, Jeejeebhoy. - Are you serious, sir?

- I can't believe it, sir! - Our company is safe.

Gotcha!

How did you like my

spoofing device?

Jaraj?

I couldn't believe it when I saw it on TV.

How did the company go under?

What the fuck is going on?

I can't tell you that.

And all of this isn't funny, Jaraj.

Funny?

You know what's not funny?

Being out of work for the last 15 years,

that's not funny.

Calling people using a false identity,

that's not funny.

Sometimes I'm Hrithik, sometimes I'm Salman,

but never Jaraj.

Because no one answers Jaraj's call.

And that, my friend,

is not fucking funny.

I deserve to know why this company is shutting down.

I need closure.

I need a fucking closure!

Okay, bro, I'll tell you.

Basically, there was a deal between Freddy sir and Ajay Talvar.

- Deal? What kind of deal? - Yeah.

You can't tell anyone, okay?

Okay. God promise.

Wow!

Wow.

So, basically, if Aasmaan does Karan's film,

Ajay won't do Freddy's film.

Politics! I like it.

Jeejeebhoy, what are you doing tonight?

Probably drinking myself to death.

And that fucking drink is on me.

Radhe Radhe.

- Drink. Let's drown! - Cheers!

Cheers!

Happy birthday!

Come on, give Hansraj uncle a hug!

It's okay. You've already hugged her.

Bloody…

- You wanna hug? - No.

Your fucking loss, man.

- What a beautiful place. - It's very beautiful.

This place was in shambles before I bought it.

Right?

He turned it from slumdog to millionaire.

Yeah, repeat my drink.

- How about you, Sinha sahib? - I'll have it later,

when the real party begins.

I'm sorry. I'm so excited, bro.

- Aasmaan sir! - Hi, Aasmaan sir!

Aasmaan sir!

- Aasmaan sir! - Thank you.

One more, sir. One more!

Hey, what are you doing, Parvaiz?

Bloody animal.

Bro,

thank you for bringing me to this party.

It's a fucking lovely party.

Thank Karishma. She invited you.

So sweet.

What a fabulous party.

Delicious food, beautiful girls, big stars,

and cute little nepo babies following them around.

What a party, sick party,

superb party!

Bullshit party.

- Happy birthday. - Thank you so much, sir.

What an amazing party.

Thank you.

- I'll just call Dad. - Yeah.

"Dad?"

Dad's the last thing I wanna be.

- Woah, Rooh Afza. - It's red wine, idiot.

Hey, you're the one who was grinding on my sister, right?

Shaming my family on national television.

That was funny as fuck, bro.

Hi, guys.

I don't know what he said, but I'm sorry.

Karishma, happy birthday.

I'm out of here.

I don't want to be the third wheel.

Shaumik!

Wait a second.

Happy birthday.

Thank you. What is in this?

A ring.

Is that a silver spoon?

You're such an asshole.

Do you like it?

Put it on.

Excuse me, guys.

I'll be right back.

It goes well with my dress.

Fuck you.

You look good.

Thanks.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!

Guess what time it is!

Time to cut the cake!

So may I please request the birthday girl to make her way to the stage?

I gotta go, cut the cake. I'll see you?

- See you. - What are you guys doing there,

warming your seats up?

Get up, get up. But please, make way for the lovely lady.

Drunk fuck.

So, this is the love of my life.

And this is the knife.

He must have big money, right?

Happy birthday to you

What is that?

Wait… Wait, stop, stop! I said, stop, guys! Come on.

What is that?

Is that a box?

Who baked this cake?

Who put a box in there?

Hey…

It's supposed to be special.

Who put this in there?

Oh, wait.

It was me!

It's a joke!

Thanks. Thanks, Dad.

Anyway, to make the evening more special…

Not that anything is more special than Karishma being born.

What I'm trying to say…

You lift me up, when I'm feeling blue.

What's the point of gravity, when I'm falling for you?

Seven years… I know, I know it's been a while.

But I promise to always make you smile.

So, Karishma,

will you marry me?

What?

Surprised?

Sameer?

Karishma.

Say yes, girl!

- Yes! - Yes!

- Yes! - Say yes!

Yes, Sameer, of course.

She said yes!

Yeah, boy!

Fucking hell, man. Shit.

- We're family. - Congratulations.

Would you like to say a few words, fiancée?

I'm just very overwhelmed right now.

I didn't see this coming.

I mean I knew this day would come.

But I didn't know it'll come this soon.

Sooner the better, I guess.

Aasmaan-- Sorry.

I mean,

Sameer wasn't lying when he said he's gonna make this day special.

So, thank you so much.

Such a committed actor!

Always working, huh?

Well, there's plenty of cake, guys.

We'll drink through the night!

Me too!

- Congratulations! - Congratulations!

Are you okay?

Come on, let's go out.

You guys go ahead.

How can we go without you?

One sec.

Hello?

Hey, Devdas, who cares if Paro is gone?

Come, let's go find your Chandramukhi.

Guys, Devdas had only one love.

This.

Here.

Bottoms up.

- Aasmaan, what are your measurements? - Hey, behave yourself.

Do we ever ask you such questions?

We've to get you a suit.

You can't go for FilmFirst looking like this.

- FilmFirst? - Guys, he's been nominated.

Best Newcomer?

Best Actor!

- What are you saying? - That's awesome!

Film-fucking-First, man!

- Really? Yeah? - Yeah.

- Chachu. - Congratulations.

Now if say you don't wanna go out and party, I'll--

Today, I'm gonna call my friends too.

Chacha, you only have one friend, that wiry fellow.

I have a lot of friends. Look at yourself, bloody kiss ass.

Swings on Aasmaan's dick and thinks he's Tarzan.

- I have a lot of friends. - Come on.

- Hello? - Jalaj, where are you?

Hey, Avtar ji, I was about to call you. I'm riding my bike right now.

Then why did you answer my call? Are you crazy?

What if you get into an accident? Hang up.

- Okay, okay. Bye. - No, no, wait.

- Yes? - I want to meet you if you are free.

I want to meet you too for something urgent.

It's about Aasmaan.

It's very important.

Okay. I'll send the location. Come over quickly.

Aasmaan is here too.

Okay, okay. Bye. I love you.

It was a beautiful evening. No, she's really happy.

I know they look really good together. I'll pass on the message.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Why, Dad?

Why what, darling?

Are you okay?

Sameer told me everything.

Told you what?

Why did you ask him to propose to me?

Sameer wanted to. So I said okay.

You went behind my back on my birthday.

You put me on the spot.

Spot?

I mean, you guys have been going out for so many years.

You always said, "I love Sameer."

So, what did I do wrong?

That's between us!

That doesn't give you the right to make decisions for me.

I care about you, Karishma.

I only want the best for you.

If you cared about me, you would've asked me before doing this.

Darling.

Congratulations, sis.

Tears of joy?

Happy birthday, by the way.

Fuck…

Give me a drink, man. I've been asking forever. I'm thirsty.

Don't you think you've had enough?

Adam, this is nothing. Chacha is just getting started.

- No, enough is enough. - Enough?

Are you my wife? Come here.

Excuse me.

- Can I get two shots, please? - Yeah, sure.

And if you think of her, imagine yourself on the FilmFirst stage.

Holding that award and everyone being like, "Aasmaan!"

Two shots for you, ma'am.

Birthday party turned into an engagement!

Billionaire Sameer Sinha proposes to Karishma Talvar.

Yes, you heard that right.

- Can you change the channel, please? - Sure.

Don't. I want to see this.

Bro, what's with this wedding stuff? Put the football match on.

Hey, why are you looking at him?

Just 'cause he's an actor, you listen to him?

We're guests too.

We're also humans.

- It's a public TV. - Yeah.

Let's ask people what they want to watch.

So, people, what should we watch?

- Football! - Football!

And the rumour are that Shakira will serve drinks…

Change it.

That's how these heroines are. They find new love every day.

Nothin' new about it.

I'm really sorry about them, ma'am.

Can I get you anything else?

It's okay. Can you give me four shots, not two, this time?

And Aas… maan?

He was shitting. He was literally shivering.

Action hero, my ass.

Stunt doubles do all the action, and they take away the credit.

You shouldn't have changed the channel.

Really? Why?

You like that heroine?

I don't like football.

Huh?

Aasmaan, what the fuck, dude?

You are…

- Aasmaan! - Where are you going?

Hey!

My bottle!

Motherfucker!

It's mine.

What the fuck!

Shit!

Fuck!

Fuck it!

Someone save him!

Help!

Help, please!

Gafoor!

Run!

Gafoor!

Gafoor!

Beat it! Hard! Hit him hard!

Let's go!

Are you okay, bro?

- Okay? - Bro, your face…

What happened to my face?

Bro, your face…

looks fantastic, maashaa-allaah!

Come on, man!

- What's wrong with you? - What's wrong with me?

- What's wrong with you? - Thank you, bhai, thank you.

You owe me two favours now.

First, Freddy, and now, this.

- Freddy? What do you mean? - The contract.

What? Didn't you tell the hero?

I forgot, bro.

It's just a dinner. It's nothing.

Maybe 30 or 40 minutes with Gafoor bhai.

With whom?

Gafoor bhai. Come on, man.

- So, shall we go? - What? Now?

Obviously.

Gafoor bhai is waiting for you.

Are you coming or should we take you?

- Abdul bhai… - Huh?

We're kidding.

They're kidding.

- Who's calling you? - I have to take it.

I can't come tonight.

Hey, what is this? Why didn't you tell him?

Yes, Karishma.

Congratulations.

Why didn't you meet me before leaving?

Sorry, something came up.

What happened?

I have to talk to you.

Go ahead.

Actually,

forget it.

All right, then.

- Good night. - No, wait!

Am I the only one feeling this way?

What way, Karishma?

I think…

I think…

Pull the condom over his head.

…I'm in love with you.

- Let go of me! - Go, go, go!

- Put him in the car! - Close the door!

Aasmaan?

- Let go! - Shove him in.

- Aasmaan! - Put him in!

Aasmaan?

Fuck!

Hello, Aasmaan?

Aasmaan?