All language subtitles for Axe Cop S01E08 Super Axe (1280x720) [Phr0stY]
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My name is Act Cop.
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I live in a house with two invisible
doors.
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One for my pet dinosaur, and one for me.
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I only wear underwear that has a picture
of me chopping off a bad guy's head.
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When I turn, the picture of me moves,
and chops off his head.
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In the morning, I usually find a broken
window, and I see a bad guy getting away
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in the distance.
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I have a rigorous exercise routine.
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I can do an infinite amount of reps of
everything.
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When I arrive at the Axe Cop station,
the first thing I do is print out a list
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of bad guys to kill, and then I kill
them all.
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At night, after everyone goes home to be
with their families, I go on a night
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mission.
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I don't work the day shift or the night
shift.
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I work the always shift.
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Because I'm a hero.
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One day, at the scene of the fire, the
cop found the perfect axe.
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That was the day he became... Axe Cop!
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I need a partner now.
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So he had tryouts and hired a partner.
My name is Fleet Cop. The moon is on
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fire! I will chop your heads off!
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It's 835.
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Yeah, you're usually here by 830.
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What are you working, banking hours now?
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Nailed it.
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No, I was on a night mission.
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So what bad guy did you kill last night?
Actually, I killed two bad guys. They
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were seventh graders.
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Unfortunately, their mom, the evil red
-headed woman, got away.
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Oh, yeah? They don't sound too bad.
What'd they do? They stole the
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good guy machine and turned it into a
bad guy machine.
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Oh, that actually sounds pretty bad.
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Socorang, lock the bad guy machine in
the unbreakable vault.
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Hello,
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Flute Cop here.
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Oh, Axe Cop, it's the United States
President, and he wants to talk to you.
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What do you want?
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Okay.
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What did the president say? He thanked
me for getting his bad guy machine back
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and is declaring tomorrow National Axe
Cop Day. Does that mean we get tomorrow
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off? Hey, bros, let's all take a
vacation together.
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I hate vacations. Come on, Axe Cop. You
need a break more than any of us. Not
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gonna happen. What if I told you I
happen to have this cake coupon right
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It's good at any beach resort in the
whole world. Yeah, you could think of it
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a vacation.
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Hmm. A cake vacation?
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Flute Cop, we'll use your miles.
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I'll have an apple juice, no ice. Do you
have chocolate milk?
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Oop, this is me.
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Just give me my keys.
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I'm sorry, your room won't be ready
until four.
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What am I supposed to do for two hours?
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Front desk, how can I assist you? I need
30 TV sets and 30 VCRs brought to my
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room so I can watch movies I made of me
fighting.
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I like to study all my moves.
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I'm also going to need a birthday cake.
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I have a coupon.
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You have got to be kidding me!
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Who makes these machines?
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Bad guys?
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Axe Cop, is that you?
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Super Axe? Man!
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I haven't seen you since fighting
college. If I'm not mistaken, that was
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ten years ago. Don't you know it? But
nothing has changed.
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I'm exactly the same.
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Oh, we used to tear it up back then.
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All night battles, chopathons. Remember
the punching finals? How can I forget?
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A kick is a punch from a foot.
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Man.
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So what brings you to Hawaii?
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My team and I are on vacation.
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That sounds fun.
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What about you? I'm here celebrating my
anniversary.
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You've chopped 10 million heads already?
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Congratulations!
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Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I haven't
chopped a head in ages.
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It's my wedding anniversary.
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Ha! You always were super funny, Super
Axe. I'm serious.
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But you should be out killing bad guys.
You're a hero.
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Not anymore, I'm not. Now I'm a husband.
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Oh, speaking of which, the wife and I
have this couple's spa treatment right
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about now, so I gotta run.
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See you later.
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I remember that.
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Oh, that's a good move.
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What the heck?
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Hello!
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Axe Cop!
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Remember me? Of course I do. You're the
evil red -headed woman.
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I killed your children because they were
evil.
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Are you enjoying your vacation?
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Now I'm not.
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Oh, that's a shame. Because I am.
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I spent National Axe Cop days stealing
back my bad guy machine. But it was
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locked in my unbreakable vault.
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A mother with a broken heart can break
any unbreakable vault. And now that I
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have my bad guy machine, I'm going to go
back in time and I'm going to turn
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everyone evil. And that includes you.
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Oh, I miss my
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son.
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We need to go on an important mission!
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Axe Cop!
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I knew you wanted to come down to the
beach!
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Hey, have you ever had coconut water?
It's the water inside a coconut.
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And you drink it!
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That's too much potassium.
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Now let's go!
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Hey, come on, Axe Cop. I thought we were
on vacation.
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Fine. You guys stay here.
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I know a real hero that can help save
the world.
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Super Axe! Oh, hey, Axe Cop!
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Tracy, this is my old college buddy I
was telling you about. Hey, Axe Cop,
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heard so much about you. Pull up a chair
and join us.
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No time. Super Axe and I are going back
in time to the year 0000 to stop the red
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-headed woman from turning everyone
evil.
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Sorry, Axe Cop, but we do not want to
miss the luau tonight.
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Whoa, buddy, what are you doing? There's
kids around. Don't worry. It's a time
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portal gun.
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Oh, I forgot to put on sunblock. Gray
diamond, am I red? Oh, you're getting
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cooked.
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This is weird.
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The beginning of time should be teeming
with talking good animals.
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Weird? What's weird is you can't take a
hint, Axe Cop.
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I'm not a hero anymore.
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Of course you are. Don't you remember
what Professor Teville taught us? Once a
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hero, always a hero.
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But I traded my axe for a wedding ring.
Don't you remember what else he taught
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us? Always carry a spare axe.
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Fine.
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Axe cop, over here. Talking fraud.
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Where are all your good brothers and
sisters?
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The red -headed woman captured them. She
turned them all evil. I alone have
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escaped to tell you. Where is she now?
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She's up there, at the center of all
time.
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I'll take you. All right, let's go.
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Boy, I'm glad you guys got here when you
did. The only reason I survived this
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long is because I buried myself in the
dead carcass of my brother. But now that
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you're here, I know I'm safe.
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Oh, no, an evil Griffith!
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Let's go!
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Once I put this good frog through the
bad guy machine, everyone throughout
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will be turned evil for...
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Stop right there, evil red -headed
woman. You're too late, Axe Cop.
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Help me, Axe Cop.
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Everyone throughout time is now evil.
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Who wants to fight?
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I do. No, we do.
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riding a gorilla, riding a lion.
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Remember our senior thesis from fighting
college?
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You mean when you put two axes together,
it forms a super blue diamond axe?
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But that was just a theory.
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No!
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Bye -bye, red -headed woman. Don't you
mean dead -headed woman.
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Oh, man.
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I knew you still had it in you. This was
actually pretty fun.
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I can't wait to tell Tracy that her
husband still has a little hero left in
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You can't tell Tracy.
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What do you mean, X -Cot? We've killed
everyone at the beginning of time.
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Tracy doesn't exist anymore.
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What?
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Oh, no.
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Terrible. I know, but don't worry. We
can find more bad guys to kill on other
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planets. Have you ever killed an alien?
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It's different, but still fun.
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I can't believe it.
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I thought you were a hero, Super Axe.
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Super Axe, what's going on? Tracy!
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Axe Cop showed up right before the pork
was coming out and transported me here?
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He said something about me and you
living at the center of time and
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the world?
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God, you were right. He is crazy.
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He's not crazy.
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He's a hero.
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Some people have other things to do.
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Not me.
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Hey honey, I'm home.
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Some people have families.
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Not me. Some people even have friends.
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Not me.
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My name is Axe Cop.
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I don't work the day shift or the night
shift. I work the always shift.
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Because I'm a hero.
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And everyone else isn't.
13639
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