Original subtitles

Oops, missed one.

You know, the first time I chopped a head off, I was eight years old.

It was a rabbit. He'd been breaking all the rabbit rules.

Everyone knows rabbits hop and eat carrots.

But this rabbit walked and ate coconuts. So I chopped its head off.

I knew my mom wouldn't understand, so I hid his head in my favorite lunchbox and

tossed it into the water.

That was my first time being a hero.

Good talk.

Now, bye.

Hey,

life vest on.

You know the rules, kiddo.

Son? Where do you think you're going?

One day, the spoon of the fire, the cop, found the perfect act.

That was the day he became X -Cop.

I need a partner now.

So, yeah, try out. Hire a partner. My name is Fleet Cop. We have bad guys to

hypnotize. I will chop your heads off!

Cop, don't kill the messenger, bud. I got some bad news. Our gun bill was

through the roof last month. Holy cow.

If we want to buy more bullets, we're going to have to get second jobs.

Hello, I'm an orphan, but the orphanage closed. Please be my father.

Hey, flute cop.

What's the kind of dad that gets paid to be a dad?

I think you're talking about a foster dad. Problem solved, flute cop.

I will be your foster dad, and I'll use the money to buy bullets.

Or not.

Axe Cop, as a dad, I have to say this. I just have to say it. Raising a child is

a huge responsibility.

I know.

That's why I'm going to find him a mom to take care of him.

Oh, Axe Cop, last year, me and a couple buddies found out about this place out

in the deserts of Las Vegas, where for a small fee, they'll set you up with a

girl. How much does it cost?

Fifteen dollars.

You two stay here and babysit my foster son.

Gray Diamond and I are going to Las Vegas. They have a roller coaster on top

a hotel.

And the second best place is at Lucky Lucy's Saloon. It's great, but you gotta

get there early because they run out of French toast fast. This is the place.

Hello, welcome to the perfect match machine in Wedding Chapel.

Before we get started, we're going to need you to fill out this form. I don't

fill out forms, Todd.

Give me that!

I love paperwork.

One time, me and my buddy filled out like ten forms at once.

It was like, what?

Now step into the machine.

It will scan your brain and find your perfect match.

What the heck?

In my 20 years of working here, I've never seen anything like this.

You are the ultimate man.

Tell me something I don't know, Todd.

There is literally not a single woman on this planet good enough for Axe Cop.

Let's get out of here, Gray Diamond.

Awesome! That gives us some time to hit the strip and try our luck on some games

of chance. Wexter!

I lost everything in the casinos of Las Vegas.

Foster kid, I couldn't find you a mom in Las Vegas, so that leaves me with no

choice. I can't be your dad.

Axe cop, you just can't foster a child and then decide you don't want him. You

need to take some responsibility.

Hmm. My tri -annual Learn Out for Kids is coming up this weekend.

Oh, that's perfect. That would really give you two some father -foster -son

bonding time. And if I teach him how to be more like me, the ultimate man, He

could be the ultimate son!

Now, if you're here for Sockarang's Sock Attack 101, follow him to Cabin B.

Who's ready to go nuts?

Sock Attack!

Sock Attack!

If you're here for Gray Diamond's Best Friend Seminar, raise your hand.

Now, the thing to consider when picking a best friend is who lives closest to

your house.

Dinosaurs, follow Wexter.

And if you're here for the axe learn -out, pick up your wooden axes and

me. I said, dinosaurs follow Wexler.

Right.

Right. Right.

Wrong! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Axe cop, can I have a quick word with you?

You gotta lighten up on that kid. How about instead of yelling at him, you

him how to improve?

But he's terrible at everything.

There's no way he could be my foster son.

The kid just needs some encouragement.

I know you can do it, Axe Cop.

Kid,

you asleep?

I want to tell you something about me that you probably don't know.

I have three world records.

The first is for the most axe blades.

I just pushed a button on my axe and 1 ,000 blades came out.

The second is for being the world's fastest chopper. I pushed a button on my

chest and a robotic arm came out and fed me an axe stock energy drink.

I ran past 1 ,000 bad guys super fast.

But it was so fast, my axe was invisible.

Wait, what?

My third world record was the hardest to get.

I went to jump school, which was taught by Jumpman.

He could jump just a little bit into space.

Being the best jumper is the only thing that gives me joy!

But I made my parents let me keep going to jump school every year. I was going

to go until I could beat Jumpman.

And one day, I did it.

I jumped all the way into outer space.

That's how I got the world record for highest jumper.

No. The point is, I have three world records when most everyone has none. But

had to work hard to get them.

At least I had to work hard to get one of them.

Good night, foster son.

Not bad, but you are still kicking a little too high. Try it again, but

I think you're ready for something more advanced.

Axe face kick!

Posing tiger kick!

Spinning tornado!

I saw a lot of losers turn to winners this weekend. But there was only one

winner who learned all the kicks.

Even the flaming falcon kick?

Mm -hmm. Even the upside -down face kick?

Yep. Even the spinning tornado kick?

With a plumb. Wow, good job, little guy.

Here's your very own real axe.

I'm proud of you. You're not just my foster son.

You're my ultimate son.

Now follow me. It's time for you to become a hero, like your ultimate dad.

See that hole?

It's filled with a lot of good rabbits.

But there's always one who breaks all the rules.

So, when he strolls out here casually eating a coconut, that's when I want you

to chop his head off.

It's time. Do it now.

Ultimate Son, what has gotten into you?

I'm not your ultimate son.

I'm your ultimate enemy.

The soul of your first kill.

And now, I'm back to kill you.

You're the soul of the rabbit that broke all the rules?

I'll chop your head off again!

You can't defeat me. You taught me all your kicks, dummy.

Wrong. There's one kick I didn't teach you because it didn't exist until now.

X -Cop Soul Kick!

to do was walk around and eat coconuts.

Then you shouldn't have been born a rabbit.

Where am I?

There goes all that foster dad money.

I guess I was wrong, buddy. I'm sorry I told you to take that kid under your

wing, but I still think spending time with him taught you a very valuable

lesson. Right?

No?

Yeah, right? Yes, it did.

I learned that if you're going to kill something, you have to make sure you

its soul, too.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

You were my foster son.

But I never gave you a name.

Now I can.

Last name Rabbit.

First name... Dead.

Hold on.

I don't know, but it sounds wrong. It's like off -tune, right? What is that?