Original subtitles

One day, the scene of the fire, the cop found the perfect act.

That was the day he became... X -Cop!

I need a partner now.

So he had trials and hired a partner. My name is Fleet Cop. We've got some bad

guys to kill.

I will chop your heads off!

What a day.

Good night, X -Cop.

Hey, you know what? If you're not doing anything, you want to come over, uh...

For dinner? I don't eat dinner.

Are you sure? Because Anita's making grilled cheese.

And let me tell you, Anita knows a thing or two about cheese.

And grilling it. Turn off the lights on your way out.

All right, buddy.

Time for Axe Cop to go on a night mission.

Axe Cop night mission!

What are you doing lurking in the shadows?

And why are you crying?

All my friends are gone. Someone stole them. First, stop crying.

I don't like it. Second, did you say your friends were stolen?

Yes. What kind of guy steals someone's friends?

A bad guy.

A very bad guy.

No, the king of all bad guys.

And lucky for you, I know how to defeat him and get your friends back.

You do? How?

With a giant dinosaur horn.

Is there a dinosaur horn store?

Don't you know it?

It's on another planet. There. See it twinkle? Yeah, that's nice.

Let's go.

Great, we'll take my car.

No, we'll take my car.

It's cooler, and I know a shortcut over that awesome ramp.

Come on!

Move it!

Can't he see we're on a night mission?

Give me a sec, would you, fella? I gotta jump this ramp to prove to my best

friend that I'm not chicken.

My best friend is so cool. One time we were at this pizza place... Shh! We

have time to hear about your friend. This guy's friends were stolen by the

of all bad guys. Did you say stolen?

Oh, boy. That's the worst.

You don't have to ask me twice. I'm helping you on this mission.

Buckle up, boys. The jump leads to space, and that's really high.

I just want to rent a dinosaur horn. The only reason I'm recommending you buy it

is to save you money. But it's cheaper to rent. For most people, yes, but not

when you keep returning them late. I mean, just do the math, all right? I

do the math, and it's cheaper to rent.

Get your dinosaur horn already.

Listen, this man's friends were stolen by the king of all bad guys, and I'm

helping him get them back.

So give me a minute. His friends were stolen?

Really? That's the saddest thing I ever heard.

My best friend, Sergeant T, was killed in the war. Okay, look, bro, we don't

have time for your backstory, right? Go on. You see, I wasn't always a dog.

I used to be an army man.

And I had a pet chihuahua.

Then, one day, I got a telephone call.

Hello? A war?

I'll be right there.

I met up with my best friend,

Sergeant T.

We were at war with Chickenhead.

He was a huge chicken with a human head.

He had an army of chicks that chopped drills out of their mouths. They would

bite you if you got too close.

But Sergeant T was brave.

Careful out there, Sergeant T!

But what we didn't know was that Chickenhead could also shoot giant

of his mouth.

Chickenhead killed Sergeant T with one blast.

You killed my best friend!

Erre!

I was so mad, I killed Chickenhead with one grenade.

I won the war and returned home only to discover I hadn't fed my pet chihuahua.

Oh, no.

I forgot to feed you.

That was the day I gained the ability to turn into a chihuahua when I'm ready to

fight. That reminds me of my best friend. Quick story here. So you can

into a man whenever you want? Only when I'm not ready to fight.

Which is almost never.

Now, allow me to honor the memory of Sergeant T by joining in your mission.

Great. We're going to have to act fast.

This horn has to be back in an hour.

That must be the bad guy king's secret lab.

It's where he makes his bad guys. I bet they know where my friends are. Let's

go. Not so fast.

I have the perfect secret attack to use for such an occasion.

The free poison soda secret attack.

Now let's split up and look for clues.

How did you survive my free poison soda secret attack?

But soda is better than juice.

To everybody.

Now you tell me where Bat Warthog Man's friends are or I will chop your head

off.

So my friends are... Dead? Now, will you let me go?

No. Soda is better than chew.

Hey, army chihuahua, throw the head in the head trash.

Dead.

All my friends are dead.

Cheer up, bat warthog man.

Cheer up.

Without friends, I'm all alone in this world. I have no reason to go on. I want

you to listen very carefully. Friends are great, but there is something even

better than friends.

Killing the guy who killed your friends.

You see that enormous guy with the crown?

In case there's any question, that's the king of all bad guys.

He's asleep because it's past his bedtime.

Now here's the plan.

We're gonna sneak into his ear and use this giant horn to summon the dinosaurs

to eat his brains.

There it is.

We're gonna have to be quiet. I'm talking to you, Gray Diamond. Okay, bro.

I'm never getting this horn back on time.

All right, Gray Diamond. You can tell your story now. Oh, for real? Oh, you're

not going to regret this.

Like Army Chihuahua's friend, Sergeant T, I, too, once knew someone in the

Chickenhead War. Totally different dude. His name was Sergeant G.

History will remember him as a great fighter, but I will remember him as the

that was my best friend. At his funeral, his mother gave me his brain, and I

thought, what am I going to do with it?

But then I got an idea. I'm going to make his brain half lion, half man.

And then I decided also there should be some cheetah in there, because cheetahs

are super fast.

So I went to the jungle, and I knocked out a lion.

And a cheetah, because like I mentioned before, they're super fast.

And I put that brain into a cybernetic body with a lion's head and created the

ultimate soldier slash best friend. I called him Liborg.

Okay, so where is this Liborg now?

Well, before we all got captured, I happened to push this button on my best

friend calling watch.

So he should be here right about now.

LIBORG!

Whoa, what took you so long, bro? Just kidding. Thanks for getting here so

man. High five. Thanks for giving me half a cheated break.

With the help of your friend Liborg, we just may get this horn back on time

after all.

Now I will summon the dinosaurs to eat the king's brains.

Get out of here.

Follow me.

I can't see a thing. We're in the stomach.

This is bile.

Gross.

Oh, my God.

That warthog man, is that you?

Joanie, Patsy, Richie, Ralph, Mel, oh, my gosh. My friends, you're all alive.

Hey, what's that? The dinosaurs are eating his brains.

There's no way out. We're all going to die.

Wrong. There's one hole out of here, and I know where it is.

We're going out the butthole.

Mission accomplished.

We're alive. We did it.

Well, it looks like everyone is finally happy and reunited with their friends.

But what about the king of all bad guys?

Don't worry about him. The more brain those dinosaurs eat, the dumber he gets.

But won't he still be evil?

Nope. His brain is made mostly of bad brain cells, so he'll be a good guy from

now on.

A really dumb good guy.

I know I speak for everybody when I say thank you, X -Cup. No time for thank

yous. There's something I gotta do.

X -Cup? What are you doing here? It's the middle of the night. I want to take

you and Anita up on that dinner.

Now?

Uh... Oh, okay.

I think we still have some buttered noodles left in the fridge. Why don't

come on in? No, I'll take it to go. I've got to get this dinosaur horn back to

the dinosaur horn store in 15 minutes.

Oh, you want it to go. All right. Well, we have a Tupperware. I'll just put it

in a Tupperware thing.

Anita, where's the Tupperware? If I knew you were going to stick me with these

hidden costs, don't you think I would have just bought one? It's not a hidden

cost. It's a late fee. That's why it's called a late fee.