Original subtitles

You have requested access to Lot 99.

Access code, please.

You have requested access to Lot 99.

Access code, please.

Access denied.

Security breach.

Security breach.

Security breach.

Warning.

Warning.

Warning.

Warning.

*

Look, Cho Cho,

a letter from my brother.

He seems to know always what I'm thinking.

Why can I never find my glasses?

I'll get 'em.

Ah, my dear brother.

Here you go, boss.

Thank you, thank you.

And I thought I was the one

supposed to take car of you, hmm?

Ah.

Don't speak.

Remember all that I taught you, Cho Cho.

Words are precious.

Use them only for truth.

Look, this was Tibet.

Yes.

Is that Hamilton?

Hamilton, my favorite student.

Oh, boy, this was such a long time ago.

Now, stay.

W-where you going?

Shhh!

Okay, but I don't like this.

Shhh, shhh.

Stay here, Cho Cho.

I need you safe.

I need you safe too.

What are you do...?

*

Yes.

Mr. Li.

You have something that belongs to us.

If you give us simple cooperation,

your loyalty will be rewarded a hundred fold.

How can you take something so good, so pure,

just for your personal greed?

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Bring him along.

Boo!

*

Huh!

Uh!

Ahhh!

Hi-yah!

Uh!

Sorry it had to end

this way.

Hey!

Hey, get your stinking paws off him.

Huh!

Cho Cho? Right here.

Hiii-yah!

Cho Cho. Take him.

*

Whoosh!

Ahh!

Uh!

Cho Cho.

Cho Cho.

State the nature of your emergency.

Will you please hurry? He's dying.

Who's dying?

My friend. He's dying.

Stay calm, help is on the way.

Can I have your name, please?

Sir, may I have your name, please?

Remember to protect the dogs.

Speak only to one who seeks the truth.

I love you, dear friend.

Well, well, well, look who's here.

So the Laptop Cop is getting his hands

dirty out in the field, huh?

Ha, ha, ha, it's funny.

We're all cops, guys.

I just use technology as my weapon.

Keep your eye on the car, Gonzalez.

It's a classic.

Step back, Fowler.

Real cops go first.

Whoa.

Wow, a real corpse.

Davis, did you dust right here?

Yeah.

Oh, excuse me.

Sorry.

Wo...

You remember me?

Y... you taught my new technology seminar at the academy.

Yes, of course.

How could I forget?

3, 4.

3, 4?

Third row, fourth seat... You always sat there.

I'm impressed.

Excuse me for interrupting your important conversation,

but we've got work to do.

Well, he's right.

I probably should get to work.

Okay.

Computer Fowler, - cougar.

Hi, Peter.

So we're on a case?

Okeydokey, let your fingers do the walking.

You and your computerized date want to be alone?

Oh, I was just making it, you know, user-friendly.

It's their first date.

Give him a break.

Maybe he'll get lucky.

Connect.

What's COLAR?

Stands for Criminology Online Analysis Research.

COLAR searches through thousands

of domestic and international law enforcement databases.

It's actually the most advanced analytical system in the world.

See, with this data, it can assess a crime scene

with more speed and accuracy

than ever before.

We don't need your computer for this case, Fowler.

You'll need this. Oh, nice.

I'll take that.

Hey, that's evidence. I should see that.

I can't do my job without the evidence, guys.

I'm just looking for the truth.

Waiting for your instructions,

Detective Fowler.

Okay, COLAR.

Analyze probability that incident was gang-related.

Until your computer sprouts

legs and a gun, it's my call what's evidence and what's not.

It's a robbery gone wrong, pure and simple.

She's a street cop.

She knows what I'm talking about.

Yeah, Fowler. Give it up.

It's a no-brainer.

Oh, then I guess you're the right man for the job.

Animal Control, priority status.

Where's the dog?

Take it easy. It's a crime scene.

Don't tell me how to do my job.

It's been a long night.

I'm just here to administer a little TLG.

Don't you mean TLC?

Tag 'em, Lock 'em, Gas 'em.

It's nappy time, doggy.

Here, puppy,

puppy.

Canine cutthroat.

Whoa!

Jeez, did you trip over my foot?

I didn't see you.

Wow, '69 Cougar with a sports package?

Killer.

I'm sorry.

See you, Fowler.

Bye-bye.

*

Nice digs.

I could live here.

You know, it wasn't a robbery.

Who's that?

Please don't turn that on.

I wish to remain anonymous.

What... what the...

Hey, aren't you the dog from the crime scene?

How'd you get here?

Stay, doggy.

I'm a cop with a gun.

A really big gun.

COLAR, lights.

Hey, how'd you get here all the way from Chin Li's?

Okay, I'm going to talk now.

Whatever you do, try to remain calm.

Ahhhh!

Well, I was hoping for a little calmer than that.

I warned you not to turn on the light.

Uh-huh, you're upset.

Okay, you're upset.

I know; I'm upset too.

My best friend just died in my arms.

Took the heart right out of me, believe me.

Okay, enough.

I need your help.

I came here because I know you're the one who can help me.

Please just tell me I didn't make a mistake.

H-h-how are you doing that?

What?

Talking like a human.

It's easy. It's like riding a bike.

Incidentally, I'm pretty good at that too.

Just trying to loosen you up a little, Fowler.

Must be some sort of voice transmitter.

Jeez, humans.

Boy, you don't mind if we squat on the lawn

or anywhere else for that matter,

but trying having a simple conversation and, "Woof!"

It's the end of the world.

Good God.

Hey, watch it, pal.

I don't know you well enough yet.

As far as you're concerned, I'm neutered.

I don't believe this.

There's no microphone.

Must be some sort of computer-generated hologram.

You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?

All right, we'll try it again, Detective Foul-up.

It was not a simple robbery.

The guys who killed Chin Li were professional assassins.

And what would professional assassins want

with some old man who could...

Oh, my God.

I'm having a conversation with a dog.

Oh, boy.

Okay, okay.

I'm a scientific investigator.

Approach this calmly, logically, and rationally.

Now, this should interesting.

Dogs don't talk!

It's not possible.

It's not... possible.

Sure it's possible.

Lookit, I can even do impressions.

Dogs don't talk!

Pretty good, huh?

Want to see my Britney Spears?

Cut that out.

Just kidding, just kidding.

Got any chow?

Chow?

Frozen pizza, cheese logs, fast food leftovers, bacon bits.

Don't you have anything that doesn't clog your arteries?

How about dog food?

Dog food would be good.

Hey, Naked Chef, could we talk about the talking?

Oof.

Okay.

Pay attention, now.

Chin Li was a great Zen master.

He... he wanted me to talk.

He willed it.

Are you with me?

So Chin Li taught you to talk?

Yeah.

Actually, all dogs talk.

You mean, so those people you see in the park

talking to their dogs... They're not nuts?

They're actually speaking to 'em?

No, those people are nuts.

Look, it's simple.

Dogs talk dog talk;

horses talk horse talk;

aardvarks talk... Oddly enough, they talk German.

No, I'm just kidding.

Hey, you get the idea.

No, I don't. This is insane.

You're speaking human.

Actually, our original decision

to befriend man was more impressive to me.

Why?

Because man has been a questionable friend.

Then why to me,

doggy?

The name is Cho Cho.

Then walk to me, Cho Cho?

Because you were the only one there looking for the truth.

Look, someone killed my best friend, Fowler.

Help me find out who.

Please.

Please help me.

Guess I can sleep on it.

But one thing.

What?

No walking on your hind legs.

That creeps me out, man.

Okay, deal.

Show me some love.

Don't do that either.

Come on.

Shaking hands is one of those

stupid doggy tricks humans live for.

Hey, I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding.

Feel if I don't laugh I'm gonna cry.

Know how you feel.

Found this old blanket so you can sleep...

on the floor.

Uh, maybe it was just a dream.

Yeah.

Don't light a match in here for another hour.

I'm almost done; you want to go next?

You're doing it again.

Doing what?

What? It!

It.

Walking, brushing your doggy teeth with my toothbrush.

Ecch! Hey.

Uh, your morning paper's on the table.

I fetched it.

Take off my underpants.

Ooh, Mr. Grouch.

Come on, partner.

Let's round up some perps.

There's no way I'm taking you to the station with me, okay?

Okay, fine.

I'll just stay here and pee on your rug.

You don't think slobber will hurt this computer stuff,

do you?

Do the neighbors like a lot of loud barking?

Upholstery with fava beans...

Fine. Come on.

This is blackmail.

Hold on.

Ooh, the old San Francisco Bay.

* I see forever now...

* What a day, what a day, what a day. *

* Oh, baby, baby, baby, make me want to sing to you. *

* I'm in the mood to drive across the bridge. *

Hey, can I drive?

* Oh, baby,

* baby, baby.

Oh, what a day.

It's beautiful.

Beautiful.

* I've got the world on my side.

I want to sing, and I want to dance!

Why the long face?

Cho Cho, it's just not gonna happen.

But you gave me your word.

Just sit back and relax, okay?

Watch the car.

Fine.

If you want to leave me alone in a beautiful, primo '69 Cougar

with a sports package.

Whoa, hold the phone.

You don't still think you're coming inside with me, do you?

But you're the computer nerd; I'm the people person.

But you're not even people.

I really think we should talk about this, Fowler.

Talk about it?

Yeah, all right, we could talk about it.

As a matter of fact, talking in the right place could be good.

I like my job, Cho Cho.

Don't embarrass me.

Don't you embarrass me.

Hey, it looks like the computer finally paid off.

He's got a date.

Okay, you can wait for me in the interrogation room.

Just don't touch anything, please.

Looks like NYPD Blue.

Hey, where do they keep the police dogs?

You stay put while I check in, okay?

10-4.

Criminal who got away?

Ex-wife who got the house.

Uh!

Good news.

Just heard back from division.

They're approving COLAR for the entire department.

No way.

Talking about building a new state-of-the-art command center.

That's incredible news.

Yeah.

You'd be in charge of the command center,

and I'd be in charge of you.

Everybody wins.

So make sure and get COLAR's list of possible suspects

out to Gerber so we can start making arrests.

Well, I haven't quite run that analysis yet, sir.

Why not?

Well, 'cause I don't think that COLAR has all the proper data.

What if I had an eyewitness?

Witness?

*

There's a dog in my interrogation room.

Just bear with me on this one.

All I want you to do is watch.

Watch what?

I don't know.

How to say this, so I'm just going to come out and say it.

That dog, the dog right there in that room, he's gonna...

talk.

Talk?

You mean, you say, "Speak," and he barks.

No, no, I say, "Speak," and he speaks,

full sentences,

subject, verb, object, the whole enchilada.

What's up?

Oh, nothing out of the ordinary.

Fowler says this dog is gonna talk.

Talk?

You mean, like, confess?

No. Words.

Just need you to go over the facts again about Chin Li.

Come on, you remember.

Tell me again about the assassins

who attacked your master.

Come on; you remember how you karate-chopped the one guy

and then drop-kicked the other and then you called 911.

He's not going to talk without his lawyer present.

Come on, Cho Cho, why?

What, is it what I said before about getting creeped out

when you walk on your hind legs?

What?

Cho Cho, speak.

Come on, Cho Cho.

Come on, help me out here, pal.

Cho Cho, speak, please.

Please, Cho Cho, don't do this to me.

Hey, they're making out on their first date.

All right, you two.

Out of here, both of you.

Come on, out. Let's go.

Yes, thank you very much.

Go on.

Hey, Dr. Doolittle, get your butt in here pronto.

A dog that called 911?

Are you trying to get yourself fired?

Traitor.

Well, you listen to me, Fowler.

Unless you have an eyewitness, one without a tail,

I suggest you go back and analyze your data

and let real detectives make the arrests.

Is that clear?

Keep that dog out of my squad room.

You did that on purpose.

Of course I did.

Why?

Well, I may be a dog,

but that doesn't mean I can't smell a rat.

I trust you, Fowler.

But this is crazy.

You're a dog that talks.

This turns theories of evolution upside down.

I just wanted them to hear you.

I told you I could only speak to the man who seeks the truth.

That was supposed to be you.

Chin Li was like a father to me, and now they've killed him.

He deserves justice.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

What I did was wrong.

I'm sorry.

Cho Cho, please.

Come on, show me some love.

One last chance.

Shake on it?

Shake?

Really?

Okay.

Look, can we continue this in the bathroom?

The bathroom? Why?

'Cause I got to take a whiz.

Duh.

What?

Never saw guys taking a leak before?

Freaks.

Okay.

Look, we're partners now, okay?

You're not gonna kiss me, are you?

I don't know you well enough.

Look, just promise me one thing, all right?

If we solve this case,

you have to let the rest of the world know

that you can talk.

If we solve this case,

I'll sing a love song to a cat in front of the whole squad.

All right, we should start our investigation

where Chin Li worked... the dog track, Cage's Kennel Club.

Uh, uh, I'll make the decisions here.

Detective.

Is the dog from the crime scene?

Yeah, he sort of followed me home.

Guess I adopted him.

Well, that was very sweet of you.

Yeah.

So, uh, anyway, I came to apologize.

Apologize?

Yeah.

Most detectives make up their mind

before they ever get to the crime scene,

but you refused to take the easy way out.

I should've backed you up, but I didn't.

Oh, pshh, come on, no, no, no.

That's, you know... I understand how it is.

It's just how things work at the department.

Yeah, well, either way,

you're the kind of cop I want to be when I make detective.

Yeah, well, it'll happen.

Mm-mm-mm.

I don't know.

I'm really good on the streets,

but I, uh, I choked on the written exam.

Well, maybe, uh, next time, you know, you're studying

for the written exam, maybe, I don't know, I could,

I don't know, I could help you study, help...

Ashley, we got a call.

Yeah, okay.

I'm sorry. I got to go.

We'll talk later?

Yeah.

Are you kidding me?

That was your best shot?

You didn't even get her phone number.

So, uh, what, we going home?

Nope, we're going to the races.

Oh, that's great.

What?

Dog asks you to get on the case and nothing.

But some tootsie bats her eyelashes and zippedy-doo-dah,

you're Dirty Harry.

Zip it, Fido.

You know, females put out a signal when they're interested.

I could smell some major flirtage going on there.

Oh, so now you're an expert on romance, huh?

This from a species who says, "Hello,"

by sniffing each other's butts.

Oh, sorry, ladies.

And now, a fast move by Southern Beauty.

Southern Beauty on the outside.

If I was a betting man,

I'd say Southern Beauty by eight lengths.

You've been right all day long, Daddy.

Southern Beauty...

You did it again.

That little puppy's got some... a fire in her.

Southern Beauty won again.

That's four in a row, Dad.

What a surprise, Eddie.

Yes, a surprise, Eddie.

There's a detective in the kennel... about Chin Li.

Uh-huh.

Well, bring him up, son.

What's wrong with her?

And they're off.

These muscle-heads

are an embarrassment to our race.

Well, aren't you being a little catty?

Pardon the expression.

These dogs are athletes.

Chasing an idiotic, mechanical rabbit?

They're nothing but puppets of the man.

Aw, don't be jealous.

I'm sure you could keep up if you dropped a few pounds.

Mr. Flower?

I'm Detective Fowler.

Are you looking for Mr. Cage?

Yes.

I'm Mr. Cage.

You're Mr. Cage?

I'm Edward Cage, managing director

here at the Cage Kennel Club.

If you're looking for my father,

he's upstairs watching the races.

Okay.

Your dog will have to stay here, of course.

You stay here, Cho Cho, and be a good doggy.

And if you do, you get a little doggy treat.

Good boy.

Hey, I got a doggy treat for you.

Good afternoon, son.

Afternoon.

I'm Hamilton Cage, and you are?

Detective Fowler.

It's an honor to meet you, Mr. Cage.

Uh-uh-uh.

Rule

you call me Hamilton.

Edward you met.

My son, my dear son and heir.

Want a drink?

Oh, no, I'm on duty, thanks.

Get him a drink.

And this is my little princess.

My daughter Margret.

President of Research and Development

for my largest division, Biotech.

And I suppose I should tell you a little tiny something

about myself.

Son, I was a...

Orphaned as a baby.

That's right.

Educated in the Far East...

A PhD in chemistry by the age of 20.

You started Biotech Pharmaceuticals

which you built into a world leader.

Continue.

Five years ago, you started Cage Sports Enterprises

which includes a pro football team, CSE Sports Channel,

and the Cage Kennel Club.

Glory Hallelujah, I do so love a man who does his homework.

You must be one heck of a detective, son.

Aw, shucks.

No, just more of an internet geek.

Internet geek.

That's a good one.

Hey, what's with you?

Calm down.

Hey, over here, big boy.

Well, howdy.

Hey, that Southern Beauty's a wild one, isn't she?

She didn't use to be.

But you look like a dog who appreciates

a woman with a little spunk.

Oh, I do.

Uh, tell me, uh...

Mary Beth.

Mary Beth.

I'd like to know everything I can about this track.

My mama told me to be careful around dogs

who ask too many questions.

You always listen to your mama?

Practically never.

Is there some problem, Detective?

No, no, it's just, um, you seem like

you're in remarkable shape for man of your...

Age?

I know you're trying to be diplomatic.

But as you can see, good health is not just a business with me.

It's a passion.

That and the track.

Oh, different kind of passion.

And most of the credit for the track must go

to my dear son Edward,

my son and heir.

Mmm-hmm.

Well, so, if Edward was in charge of the track,

he must have been the last one

to see Chin Li alive, right?

Ohh.

What about that, Edward?

Chin Li was working the morning shift feeding the dogs,

but he was gone by noon.

Chin Li was so much more than my friend.

He taught me about trust, loyalty, generosity,

action, focus.

Everything I am today I owe directly to him.

Sorry for your loss.

Cho Cho.

Has anyone thought about Cho Cho?

Chin Li had a dog that was very important to him.

Do you know where he is?

It's funny you should ask.

Cho Cho!

I got to go.

Can we continue this another time?

Cho Cho!

I've got a flea bath booked at six.

Well, then, I'll see you later.

Oh, yes.

This mongrel

was just a pup last time I saw it.

We were closest to him in all the world, you and I.

I know you miss him every much.

Very decent of you to take Cho Cho in, Detective.

It was before I found out he never stops talking.

Barking. Never stops barking.

Cho Cho, sit.

My entire organization is at your disposal.

I want Chi Li's attackers

brought to justice.

I'll do my best.

Oh, do better than that.

Get it done.

Margret will show you out.

We're counting on you.

I did a little leg work, partner,

What?

Sweet little greyhound back there said they introduced

a new feed to Southern Beauty and some of the other dogs.

Huh.

What are you doing?

The magnetic strip on the ID cards carry a unique code

for each employee, so I'm using COLAR to access

the Cage Kennel Club Employee Database.

And?

Well, Chin Li did leave the kennel area gate by noon,

but there's an entry and exit

coming from the Biotech building at 8:55 p.m.

Uh-oh. Oh, no.

Feline fury coming on.

What? Cat.

What?

I hate cats.

Lazy, worthless layabouts, the whole lot of them.

Look at that.

You know, cats are behind the plagues

of the Middle Ages; you know that, don't you?

Are you insane?

And I got my suspicions about World War II.

And... and... and you... you think Oswald acted alone, huh?

Well, I'm sorry.

I just got some issues with the C-word I guess, that's all.

I'm sorry.

Look at that.

It's Chin Li's killer.

How do you know that's him?

Don't you see the bandages on his left wrist?

That's where I bit him.

Give me those keys.

* I got you running in circles.

He's getting away.

Officer in pursuit!

Officer? Hey!

You're not an officer, I am.

Doesn't this come with power steering?

Are you crazy?

You can't drive!

Oh, yeah?

What do you call this... surfing?

Stop the car!

Code 12.

Red team, go. Red team, go.

Cho Cho!

Stop!

Who put that sign there?

Stay on the road.

* But you didn't count on this top dog coming around. *

Hit the brakes; hit the brakes!

I am hitting the brake.

It won't stop.

The accelerator's stuck.

Bail out, bail out!

Man overboard.

Oh, God!

Uh!

Ahhh! No!

I loved that car.

This is not good.

Oh, a little bodywork, a paint job,

it'll be like new.

I heard.

How you doing?

I'm doing good.

It's a good day so far.

You know,

minus the teeny, tiny annoyance of no car,

suspension, no future.

It's a good day. Good times.

Even when you're upset, you're still funny.

I don't feel very funny.

Well, you make me laugh.

That must count for something.

Units 5-10 and 6-14, please respond...

Hey, what?

Ask her.

Ask her what?

Never mind, I'll do it.

Say, uh, why don't you meet me for dinner

at the Amazon Cafe at 8:00?

Amazon Cafe?

It's a date.

Why did you do that?

Jeez, I don't know what other signals she can give you

but jumping in your lap.

Besides, I got a good plan.

You'll do fine.

I won't do fine.

You said it yourself:

I'm not a people guy.

This date's going to go five minutes,

then I'll say something stupid, and she's going to walk out.

Don't worry about it, partner.

I got a plan for that too.

*

You wanted to see me?

I want you to stop what you're doing.

Ha!

Thought I was helping.

The goal of this company

is not to fix greyhound races,

but to realize the potential for greatness

that lies within us all.

Ha!

Have I made myself clear?

Perfectly.

Hii-yah!

There's a meeting tomorrow in the new wing

with Margret and the science team.

I expect you to be there as well.

I expect you to be there as well.

It's all about the power within.

Don't race the dogs too much.

Don't drug them, whatever you do.

Don't make any money.

Hii-yah!

*

Okay, just relax.

Just listen to me; repeat what I say.

I know everything there is to know about girls.

Enjoy your meal. Thanks.

You okay?

Your neck?

Me?

Oh, yeah, my neck's a little sore.

I'm fine.

Oh, good.

Wow.

You look really...

What?

Beautiful. Stunning.

The smell of your skin

takes my breath away.

This doesn't sound like you, Peter.

I mean, don't get me wrong, it's nice and all.

But why the change?

Right. What a good question.

What a good question.

Nothing like a good question.

What am I, Plato?

Uh, let's see now.

Maybe you can try, "Life is full of change.

Uh, but in this case, I must admit..."

Oh, I'd love to lick your face and sniff your tail.

No, you can't use that. You can't use that.

Let's see, "In this case, I must admit..."

In this case, I must admit...

And this may sound bold...

This may sound bold...

You made me change.

You made me change.

My heart feels so close to yours.

I just want to howl at the moon.

I'm not sure if this new you

is seducing me or scaring me.

Well, I'm a man of more secrets...

Than you could possibly imagine.

Really?

Name one.

Name one?

Yeah.

Secret... what, you want to know what my big secret is?

Well, I'll tell you.

God, I hate cats.

God, I hate cats.

What's wrong with cats?

Cats are lazy, unmotivated slobs,

black holes of selfishness sucking dry the kind hearts

of their masters.

They're useless.

Did you ever hear of a seeing eye cat?

Or a watch cat?

No. Wow.

Oh, yeah.

Sorry.

Had a little cat rage there.

I... it... j-j-just... just just overtakes me.

Let me try to get it together.

Uh, um, uh, try this: Let's not talk about me.

Let's talk about Ashley Wilkenson,

her hopes, her dreams...

Her fantasies.

Well...

I want to tell you what's on my mind

and in my heart.

I'm listening, Detective.

Since the first moment I saw you,

there's something I've wanted to say to you.

And I feel if I don't say it now,

that opportunity could pass me by.

That's good.

Whoo!

Wahoo.

What is that?

Look at the chassis on that lassie.

What?

What do you want to say?

Woof, woof, woof, woof woof.

Come on...

What is an incredible dog

like you doing in a joint like this?

No... what?

Ashley, I... Excuse me?

I don't... I didn't mean...

I didn't mean that at all.

I mean, you're incredible, but you're not a dog.

Ashley.

Ashley.

Please.

Thanks a lot, Cyrano de Bonehead.

Good night, miss.

Ashley! Ashley, no, wait!

Gah!

Now what am I supposed to do?

How do I know?

I'm just a dog.

If it was me, I'd chase the car.

Ashley, wait!

Okay, no more games.

I'm just going to bark this out, okay?

I love how strong you are.

I love how sexy you look in uniform.

I love the way you just say what's in your heart.

And if only I could just find the strength

to say what's in mine.

Well, I don't know who was feeding you

those corny lines earlier,

but I like your own words much better.

Yeah, me too.

Let's go talk.

Want to?

You know, I'm not your typical guy.

I'm not into sports, going to bars, you know.

I don't really get out much either.

You know, I'm not your typical dog.

I'm not into chasing cars or playing fetch.

I'm actually...

not the party type.

I never go to parties.

Never have parties.

Ooh, this smells...

Oh, excuse me. Ladies first.

I don't do hydrants.

Whoa!

Uh!

You want to come back to my place?

You know, maybe later?

Oh. Uh!

I'm sorry.

It's okay, babe.

Love hurts.

*

This is a nice neighborhood.

Oh, yeah.

It's, uh, it's an old boatyard.

Got it for cheap, fixed it up, you know?

You'll see.

Is there a party?

No, um, I just left my TV on.

So.

Um.

I... I got to go.

So there was a party.

No, no, it's my cousins.

They're in town.

Yeah, okay. Bye.

Ashley, wait.

Come on, keep up.

Rah!

Rah!

*

Hey, I just saw Mrs. Rottweiler.

She said the puppies have been up crying all night.

Puppies?

You dog!

Coming through.

Excusez-moi.

Ay caramba.

I'm so high.

Hey, Bernie.

Hey, we playing poker or what?

Oh, I should have seen that one coming.

All right, enough!

That's it!

I want all you four-legged, tail-wagging,

Frisbee-catching, flea-scratching mongrels

out of my house now.

You... out.

Out of here!

You, beat it.

Man, this ain't cool.

Don't you give me that look.

Ooh, yeah.

Down!

I'm gonna poo on his lawn.

You thought this was a party?

No, it was a conference on world peace.

Fowler, I was undercover.

Undercover?

I was questioning the dogs on the street

about what goes on at the Cage Kennel Club.

Right.

Not mine.

As a matter of fact, the Dane's cousin

dated one of the slower greyhounds there.

Okay, right now isn't a good time

to talk about dogs and their love life.

It's not important. But this is.

After a few months

on that new dog food, that slower greyhound

turned out to be Southern Beauty,

winner of her

last five starts.

And guess what.

Edward Cage always supervised

feeding time.

Really?

COLAR.

Yes, Peter?

The last six greyhounds to win at over 20 to 1,

how many of them are owned by Cage Sports Enterprises?

Searching that data for you now.

Four of them, sweetie buns,

including Iron Thunder and Southern Beauty.

Sweetie buns?

This ain't no ordinary dog food.

What if it's illegal

or, worse, dangerous to the dogs?

Well, if Edward is feeding the dogs

some type of chemical energy formula

and then betting on them, well, that's enough

for an indictment on felony racketeering,

and could possibly tie him to the attack on Chin Li.

So we need what Chin Li was after,

proof of the formula.

And the last place Chin Li was before the attack was Biotech.

The formula has to be in their mainframe computer.

Bingo.

Not you. I know you're not Bingo.

Access denied.

Access denied?

Okay, we've got to break in there,

but we've got to be really smart about it.

All right, Fowler.

What do you think of my disguise?

Hey, give me that.

Ow.

Ew, doggy drool.

Ow.

What is this, bumper cars?

Why don't you try going around the walls

instead of through them?

Should be a door marked "Fire Control" around here.

There it is.

You should be in here, and I should be driving.

Did you hear me?

Shut up. We're undercover.

Shut up, we're undercover.

I am, anyway.

Easy, easy.

I'm slipping; come up.

If I want to be neutered, I'll go to a vet.

Get in there. Come on.

Hey, watch your hands, Romeo.

Look out.

Oh, God.

I bet Lassie didn't have to go through this.

Ow. Get in.

Come on, push, push.

Ow!

This harness is going to ruin my love life.

I'll tell you something:

Tom Cruise had this figured out better.

And I'm not getting $20 million, either.

Good job, boy.

All right, this is the place.

What's happening?

Whoa, big... b-b-big drop.

Big drop.

Hang on to that rope.

Oh, easy.

E-e-easy.

Whoa!

Wait a minute.

I got to go back up and get my stomach.

T-t-take it easy now.

Uh!

Slow. Take it slow.

Whoa.

Rope, don't fail me now.

Hold it; hold it.

Not too close... Don't let me hit the floor,

I'll set off the alarm.

Hold... hold... stop.

Good.

All right, now swing me back and forth.

Fowler, I'm just hanging here.

You're late.

Everybody's already here.

We have to stop the animal testing.

Why?

Stage four isn't complete.

Well, why do you think?

Father.

You've seen the way he's been acting.

She's so changed.

Uh, yeah.

There's no telling what he'll do next.

He's out of control.

Almost there.

Back and forth, not in circles.

Man, I'm gonna hurl.

Straighten me out.

Fowler, turn me around.

I can't put the disk in with my butt.

It's not my fault.

Okay, okay, that's better.

That's better.

Uhh!

Easy, easy.

Here we go.

Download in progress.

All right.

Three more minutes to download, and we're out of here.

Downloading complete in 2 minutes, 48 seconds.

Wait, somebody's coming.

Get me up, up, up, up.

Up! Up!

Pull.

Now it looks quite wonderful.

A lab?

Why wasn't I told about this?

When did you have this done?

As soon as I realized the awesome power of Lot 99.

But I had to shroud it in deepest secrecy...

Yes, even from my beloved children.

Today I brought you all here to inform you

that stage five testing

is now complete.

Stage five?

Human testing.

We haven't started that yet.

Yes, we have.

I'm proud to announce that I, myself,

have been taking Lot 99 for the past, uh, six months.

Ladies and gentleman,

six months ago...

A 76-year-old man.

Or hadn't you noticed the change?

Did you think this happened

because I did a few extra sit-ups every day?

Oh, no. Hamilton.

That's unbelievable.

Strength, vitality,

eternal youth.

Adults will never know sickness.

Children will never be orphaned.

We're close, people.

Very close.

My vital signs are equally impressive.

It's him.

Wolfgang, the guy I bit.

What's happening?

Keep up the good work.

Yes, sir.

Aw, come on, Cho Cho.

You should be excited. We did it.

Got the evidence to put them away right here.

Excited?

Cage and I were both students of Chin Li's.

He was like a father to us.

He let you down.

He let everybody down.

He betrayed the animals,

and worst of all, he betrayed Chin Li.

Maybe not.

You know, maybe he was just trying

to improve the herbs like he said, for mankind.

How?

By doping the dogs so he could make millions rigging races?

That could've been Edward.

It's not Edward.

He's not smart enough.

Besides, Cage's goon had a bandage on his left wrist

exactly where I bit Chin Li's killer.

We both know Wolfgang is Cage's muscle guy.

One way or another, Cage is letting it happen.

Easy, girl.

And in Gate 4, Distant Thunder, winner of her last three starts.

In Gate 5, Misery Loves Company.

She's been off her feed in recent weeks,

but still a viable threat.

In Gate 6, Do-Si-Do.

"Dominance" is her middle name.

Dad, it's important.

How important can it be, son?

Trouble.

Someone broke into the mainframe and...

Speak into the microphone.

Somebody broke into the mainframe and downloaded Lot 99.

Oh. Oh.

We found dog hairs on the computer.

Cho Cho and Fowler.

In Gate 7, the legendary Land's End.

And finally, in Gate 8, a newcomer

and certainly the underdog...

me.

Here.

Hold it.

Come on, puppies. Keep up.

Boys, you ain't gonna believe this one.

I got it this time.

I got it.

I cracked the case.

Okay, Cage Sports Enterprises have been giving the greyhounds

at Cage Kennel Club this type of performance enhancer,

making millions of dollars on long-shot bets.

Can you prove it?

Yes, look.

Right here.

This is the formula for what they call Lot 99.

What it does is, it enhances natural herbs to camouflage

the added chemicals so they don't show up

during tests.

Now we think that Chin Li discovered it;

tried to take a sample to the police.

That's why they killed him.

Bingo.

Hi, hello, hi, hi.

Thief or thieves of Lot 99, you have made a mistake big-time.

Fowler...

Not only will this computer blow,

What the hell's this?

So I have to go.

You have exactly, uh, uh, uh, four seconds.

Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.

Ahh! Fowler, what is...

You cracked the case, Fowler, huh?

And all our computers with it.

I could have you transferred to another planet.

Yeah.

Yeah, good idea.

This is definitely not good.

*

Hello? Peter?

Hey.

It's cold outside.

You guys a little down?

Yeah, well, we have reason to be.

So you're just going to give up?

Look, it's over, okay?

Not only did my evidence go up in smoke,

but there's not a cop

on the force who believes me.

I believe you.

You do?

The only way we can prove this case

is if we finish what Chin Li started.

We've got to get a sample of Lot 99.

We?

Yeah, we.

Are you sure about this?

I mean, let's face it: my career has gone to the dogs.

Woof

No offense.

But, Ashley, we screw this up,

you could say good-bye to any chance of becoming detective.

My dad was a detective,

his dad was a detective.

I've been so obsessed about making detective

that I've forgotten why I became a cop in the first place.

Which is?

To stop bad guys from hurting people...

and animals.

Watch out for this Wolfgang... Cage's bodyguard.

He has a bandage on his left arm

where Cho Cho might have bit him.

That could tie him to Chin Li's death.

Okay, I'm going to the vent lab.

Ashley, you watch out for security.

Cho Cho, you know what to do.

Cho Cho knows what to do.

Cho Cho...?

*

* Do, do, do, do, doo doo. *

* Brrrrm, do, doo doo.

Hoo ha!

Whoo!

* Do, do, doo doo, do...

*

Hey, Grandma, what are you doing out here?

Listen, my name's Cho Cho, and I'm a cop.

I need to get a sample

of the stuff they've been putting in the food

of the younger dogs.

Don't touch that stuff.

It's poison.

It's like magic at first.

It makes you faster, stronger.

Then it begins

to take over your mind.

It makes you crazy.

You get angry and mean.

And then you start to get weaker and weaker.

You know how old I am?

No, even a mutt like me knows enough

not to ask questions like that.

I'm two years old.

What?

That's no grandma.

That's Southern Beauty.

Southern Beauty?

Oh, no.

Ashley, come in, where are you?

I got it.

I got the Lot 99.

Ashley, come in.

Where are you?

Ahh...

Shhh!

I got it.

Wait here, okay?

I got to go find Cho Cho.

Okay.

Excuse me.

I have a... a call.

Uh-huh?

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Cho Cho, where are you?

Over here.

Cho Cho.

I got a sample of Lot 99.

Let's get out of here.

Better handle it with care.

What are you talking about?

Southern Beauty just died from it.

Hold it.

Don't shoot!

It's just us.

Fowler?

Yeah.

Oh, no.

Well, me and my dog.

What's he doing here?

What are you doing here?

We got a call.

Armed intruder on the premises.

Who made the call?

I did.

Lieutenant, this is the second time

that your detective has, uh, broken in.

I don't know whether he's working for a competitor

or just obsessive.

Either way, he's dangerous.

That... that's a lie.

It's Lot 99 that's dangerous.

That stuff will kill you, Cage.

Just like it killed Southern Beauty.

I'm sure your superiors would love to hear

about the rogue officers in your command.

As a matter of fact,

I'm playing golf with Chief Clark tomorrow.

No, don't listen to him.

He's under the influence of Lot 99.

Now, you listen to me, Fowler.

Unless you want to be cuffed and gagged,

I'd keep quiet.

Now, Mr. Cage, what can we do to make this right?

And avoid a costly lawsuit?

Something dramatic, I hope.

Fowler, your gun

and your badge.

My mom has my gun.

You're pathetic.

What's that?

Grab him by the paws.

I can't get ahold of him. Grab his ears, then.

What are they doing? No, let him go.

Hey, what are you doing?

He didn't do anything.

Get off me.

Hey!

Who's in charge here?

Pull him down.

Cho Cho.

Watch those fangs.

Cho Cho!

Cho Cho.

Let him go!

Please!

Cho Cho!

There's still no word from Officer Wilkenson?

Okay, please keep calling her,

and let me know the minute you find her.

Okay? Thank you.

And in business news...

Volume up.

In about an hour, CEO Hamilton Cage will be announcing

the launch of Energy L99, a safe and natural energy supplement.

Cage plans to have the herbal blend added to everything

from potato chips to children's breakfast cereals.

No, no, you maniac, you can't give that stuff to kids.

Oh, my God.

Take a deep breath, Peter.

Whew.

Okay, focus.

Ashley, Ashley... Where's Ashley?

One thing at a time.

Oh, I got to get some help here.

Forget the facts, Peter.

Go with your gut.

Sometimes you have to search all over the yard

before you find out where one bone is buried.

There you go.

Now you're on to something.

COLAR, you still have the floor plan data that

was downloaded when we breached the Cage Biotech mainframe?

Oh, you want to hack into the security cameras

at Cage Biotech.

Looks like I programmed some dog sense into you.

Go.

Show time.

Curtain up.

Keep scanning.

I'm scanning.

Cage's office.

Yep.

Okay... move on.

We're moving on.

Right... fire control hallway...

You're in it.

Move on.

Movin' on.

Mainframe.

Keep scanning.

We're still scanning.

Fire control room.

Good.

Ashley. Oh, God.

Enhance.

Peter, do you want me to call the cops?

We just did.

Ashley, don't worry.

Don't worry, I'm coming for you.

Let me think.

Search the address

of the Animal Control Center, and download it immediately

into my palm computer.

You got it, boss.

* Baby.

* We done as good as we could do. *

* So what if I bit a mailman but misunderstood you. *

* Ooh, baby.

* Why knock yourself out?

*

* I got the blues, blues, blues, blues. *

Meow

Is it over?

Great.

Hopefully we've heard the last of that dog-rap garbage.

Kitty, how about a permanent cat nap?

Hush, puppy.

Dead dog walkin'.

Remember me, mutt?

Made me look like a fool in front of them cops.

Payback time.

Dead dog walking.

What a dork.

That's my dog,

and I want him back.

Oh, yeah?

And why would I do that?

Well, I'll tell you why.

Hannibal, meet the dogcatcher.

This is Hannibal.

He doesn't like dogcatchers.

Every dog has his day, you know?

All right, now I'm going after Ashley.

You and boys try to break up the press conference.

Get a 911 call in if you can.

Yeah, I got a bone to pick with Mr. Cage.

Nice doggy.

Nice doggy.

Doggy want a bone?

You're a scientist, not a criminal.

You don't want any part of this.

This stuff will kill your father.

But you can still save him...

and yourself.

Think about it.

Let her go.

Ahh!

Rahh!

*

Ha!

That's a burn.

It's not him.

Ladies and gentleman, may I have your attention.

I am Edward Cage.

I appreciate your patience.

My father is currently...

tied up by unexpected developments.

I am sorry for the delay.

He should arrive any moment.

Hope so.

Ha!

Ladies and gentleman, Hamilton Cage.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Please be brief.

Today is a day where we celebrate

the triumph of a human life.

When you add all-natural L99 to your, uh, uh, products,

they will transform themselves into the sustenance of...

life itself.

For L99 is...

pure power.

Pure, uh, uh...

Pure, uh...

uh... power.

Pure, uh, uh...

youth.

Ladies and gentleman, I give you the future.

I give you

L99!

* I don't know, but I've been told... *

* I don't know, but I've been told... *

* Kennel food is mighty cold.

* Kennel food is mighty cold.

* Sound off.

* 1-2-3-4.

Wait, what's going on?

Dogs!

You're going down, buddy.

Okay, Dad, we got to go.

Come on, follow me.

Come on, look at me. Come on.

Say uncle. Say uncle.

Come on, Dad, we got to go.

That's a good boy.

Right around the corner.

Now!

Behind you!

Where... where are we?

Whoo, hello.

Watch it, buddy.

She's underage.

I'll be 18 next month.

Hey, cowboy.

You talkin' to me?

Nice job out there.

You looking for Hamilton Cage?

Well, he went thataway.

Which was is thataway?

The elevator, Dick Tracy.

Thanks.

You're okay... for a cat.

Hey, take care of yourself.

And come back and see me sometime.

Son, this is the roof.

I've radioed the helicopter.

They'll be here any minute.

Are you out of your mind?

Retreat in our moment of triumph?

Never.

Triumph? You're out of your mind.

I'm out of my mind?

Didn't I say you were out of your mind?

I'm not out of my mind.

You're out of your...

Oof!

Cage, you don't know what you're doing.

You're hurting everybody.

Turn yourself in. Now.

Never.

Daddy?

You're sick, Cage.

You have to be stopped, and I don't want

to have to hurt you.

Well, that's certainly going to make this fight

a whole lot easier for me.

*

Hii-yah!

Intriguing.

Chin Li's two best students...

face-to-face.

So you want to play games?

Okay.

Not to be

uh, outdone...

Ha!

Huh!

Ooh, doggy.

Ooh, doggy.

Come on.

Oof!

You're some package, puppy.

Very clever.

Well, I'd give you about a six...

out of ten.

That's for all the times you made a dog go fetch.

Ching!

Fetch this.

Whoooa.

Hey.

Yow.

Let's get, uh, serious,

shall we?

Oh, no.

That scar.

It was you I bit.

It was you.

Don't be so surprised.

Huh! Ha!

Ouch!

Chin Li was like a father to you.

Well, he wasn't my father.

My father died and left me alone.

And then I searched for that fountain of youth,

so that no child would ever orphaned again.

Chin Li tried to spoil that.

Come on, fight like a man.

Look at what you've become, Cage... a monster.

A monster?

If only you could feel it...

the power of Lot 99 coursing through your veins

like liquid gold.

Hoo-ha!

Want a piece of me, dog?

I want justice.

Well, come and get it.

Huh!

Hii-yah.

*

I'm top of the world, Daddy.

Please, for Chin Li, surrender.

Never.

Waa-haa!

Whoo.

Ha ha!

Missed.

Missed again.

Try again.

Keep trying.

Missed.

Good try.

Missed.

Missed again.

Ooh-ah!

Hello, Clarice.

*

Whoosh!

Okay, my ultimate weapon: super lick.

Okay, here we go.

Left, right.

Left, left, right, right,

right, right, right, left, right.

Uh!

And finally, this one's for Chin Li.

Hii-yah!

I'ma coming, Daddy.

Uh!

You think I'm finished?

You're right.

Uh!

Cho Cho.

Good job, Cho Cho.

That was incredible.

Thank you.

Had to be done.

Hamilton Cage, there's something I've wanted to say to you

for a while.

You're under arrest for kidnapping, racketeering,

cruelty to animals,

and conspiracy for the murder or Chin Li.

Oh.

Fowler!

You hurt my daddy.

Uhh!

No!

Oh, no.

Cho Cho.

He's been shot.

Ashley, get an ambulance.

Don't get all emotional.

It's embarrassing.

Next thing I know, you'll be licking me.

Hang in there, partner.

Partner?

Partner.

I like that.

It gives me great pleasure to introduce the recipient

of the San Francisco Police Department's Medal of Valor,

Detective Peter Fowler.

Congratulations.

Thank you, sir.

You know, I used to wonder what bravery really was.

It was something that you'd learn, something you'd develop.

But what I discovered is that bravery exists within us all:

man or woman, human or animal.

You just have to find it.

Sometimes you need help to do that.

So I'd like to dedicate this medal

to someone who saved my life,

someone who taught me what I really needed to learn,

someone who I wish could've been here today,

someone who was there when I really needed him,

Cho... Cho Cho.

Ladies and gentleman,

the dude who really deserves this medal,

Cho Cho.

Now you remember what you promised.

What?

What did I promise?

* Hello, baby.

* Yeah, this is the Big Bopper speaking. *

* Oh, you sweet thing.

* Do I what?

* Will I what?

* Oh, baby, you know what I like. *

* Chantilly Lace had a pretty face *

* and a ponytail hanging down. *

I couldn't tell you.

I promised him.

* Lord, made the world

* go round, round, round.

* Ain't nothing in the world like a big-eyed girl *

* to make me act so funny,

* make me spend my money,

* make me feel real loose

* like a long-necked goose,

* like a...

* Oh, baby, it's-a what I like. *

What's that, baby?

But...

But...

But...

Oh, honey.

Hey, Fowler.

Yeah, Fowler!

But...

* Oh, baby, you know

* what I like.

Whoo.

Yeah!

* Chantilly Lace had a pretty face *

* and a ponytail hanging down.

* A wiggle in her walk and a giggle in her talk, *

* Lord, made the world go round. *

* Ain't nothing in the world like a big-eyed girl *

* to make me act so funny, make me spend my money. *

* Make me feel real loose like a long-neck goose, *

* like a...

* Oh, baby, that's-a what I like. *

Cho Cho has left the building.

* Hey, my name is Cho Cho.

* Go ahead and laugh.

* Just be careful what you throw my way *

* 'cause I can dish it right back. *

* The way I see it, if variety is the spice of life, *

* I'm a vintage wine.

* And on top of that, I'm man's best friend, *

* but don't you ever cross that line. *

* I'll take you for who you are *

* if you'll take me for what I am. *

* I can be meaner than a junkyard dog *

* or gentle as a newborn lamb. *

* I been trained in the school of hard knocks. *

* I can push, pull, run nonstop. *

* And on my hind legs, I'll do more than just beg. *

* I'm a bona fide, borderline cop. *

* I'm the one who seeks the truth. *

* I have from the start.

* I learned it ain't so much your mind. *

* You got to follow your heart. *

* The way I figure it,

* I can't dwell on yesterday, *

* 'cause I can't change the past. *

* I got to look ahead and not behind. *

* For me, life goes by fast. *

* I'll take you for who you are *

* if you'll take me for what I am. *

* I can be meaner than a junkyard dog *

* or gentle as a newborn lamb. *

* I been trained in the school of hard knocks. *

* I can push, pull, run nonstop. *

* And on my hind legs, I'll do more than just beg. *

* I'm a bona fide, borderline cop. *

* It don't matter what others may say. *

* We can make this work.

* But don't mind me if the mood should strike. *

* This dog's known to dig a little dirt. *

*

* I'll take you for who you are *

* if you'll take me for what I am. *

* 'Cause I can be meaner than a junkyard dog *

* or gentle as a newborn lamb. *

* I been trained in the school of hard knocks. *

* I can push, pull, run nonstop. *

* And on my hind legs, I'll do more than just beg. *

* I'm a bona fide, borderline cop. *

* On my hind legs, I'll do more than just beg. *

* I'm a bona fide, borderline cop. *