Original subtitles

Well, you know, Jack is running late, so you might as well just come in and have

a seat.

Uh, how late is he going to be? I really want to get to this party on time.

I think he said like an hour.

I know. My son is constantly late. Why is he always late? I don't know.

Did he learn it from you?

No, it doesn't run in the family.

All right.

Didn't really plan for sitting down with this costume.

I'm not really understanding this costume, but that's okay.

It's from the internet.

Yeah? Yeah, I just saw him kind of around. But forget about that. Your

looks great.

Thank you.

I actually just put it on. It's probably Steve at the office. He's working late.

Yeah? How are you going to get over there? Just like, boom, show up, poop

smoke?

No. No? No, I'm going to use that old -fashioned method of the vehicle.

Yeah, drive there. I didn't have any idea that genies could drive.

Yeah, well, you know. Learn something new every Halloween, right? I got

So, yeah,

I don't quite understand this whole costume thingamabobber here.

So it's an internet thing.

Well, yeah, there's this group of guys, and they do funny videos and stuff, and

it's kind of based off this famous singer dude, and they do this thing, and

give out a present, and it's a box, It was a surprise in the box. And that's

kind of the funny part. The best part is because this whole song is like, and I

can't really remember exactly how it goes, but it's pretty good.

It's not my era.

No, maybe not, but still. So what's supposed to be in the box then?

It's my dick in a box.

What? Yeah.

Okay, so that's the gag?

That's the gag. No, that's totally it. It's the dick in a box. It's the dick in

a box.

But here, look.

So your dick is really in that box?

I don't know. Find out. That's a surprise.

I don't think that I should be... First of all, I don't believe that your dick

is in the box. And secondly, being that I've known you your entire life and

you've been like... I don't know, my son's best friend since, I don't know,

were born. I would say that may not be appropriate for me to even think about

looking for your dick in the box, but I... That's totally the gag. You're

totally missing the gag. Your dick is still not in the box.

Are you afraid to find out?

Oh, 42 -year -old woman, I ain't afraid of nothing. I bet you won't look.

Oh, I know it's not in there anyway.

See? I didn't know I had it up here.

Tell me it's a

dildo in a box.

Tell me it's a dildo in a box. That's not the name of the video.

It's not a dildo in a box. It's a dick in a box.

Stand up.

So you plan on walking around with your dick in a box on that wall?

Well, where else am I going to keep it?

This box doesn't hold itself on.

I'm going to look again because I'm not so sure I believe there's a dick in the

box. I think it's a dildo in the box.

Give it a squeeze for realism.

I'm not going to do that.

Come on.

Oh my god, your dick is in the box.

Your dick is in the box.

I told you.

I even warned you.

You need to put the cover back on the box.

Look, look, cover.

Gone.

Okay, your little joke is over. Halloween is now over for you. This is

costume. Here.

No!

What are you hoping to achieve?

I want you to make sure it's real. Test it.

Come on, you look awesome in this costume.

I've got a dick in a box.

I'm giving away presents.

Are you hitting on me right now?

I'm just charitable. I'm giving away a present.

No?

Halloween can't have presents?

You like the genie?

I do like the genie. Look.

Your boobs look awesome. I'm just going to say it. Oh, my God. Look, they're

huge. I am never going to see it.

You know you wore the sexy costume to go to your husband and be like, look, I'm

a genie. Look how awesome my boobs look.

See? I can see in that face. That's exactly what you were planning.

You were probably going to show up in some trench coat and be like, oh,

surprise. Well, guess what? Surprise. Stick in a box.

I'm oddly intrigued by you right now. You should be.

I can't believe I'm looking at your dick and it's in that box.

Can I, can I, um... Yes. Can we lose the box? We can lose the box.

Can we lose that box? Can we?

Goodbye, box.

Be gone.

You know what?

The pants are attached to the box, too.

Nothing that... Nothing that should matter since your dick was already

out, but I have to say the fact that your pants are actually down around your

ankles right now makes this all more real.

You're touching me, my bad.

No, I'm not.

No, here, look. Do you like that?

You like those big tits? Yeah, I do. I keep coming back to the tits. Here,

Oh, my God.

What makes you think of this right now?

Halloween spirit.

Oh, my God. I can't even believe I'm contemplating this moment right now.

I dream of Jeannie.

You better hurry up, though.

Yeah? Yeah, before Jack gets there, he'll get your dick back in the box.

Let's work on that.

Presents are best unwrapped.

You should get your balls in the box too.

Yeah? I think Jack looked awful lonely in there. I think you should keep

your genie lamp.

That's my hand.

Get those off.

You don't mind if I leave my sunglasses on, do you? Oh, I know.

It's a very risky business.

Thank you so much. You're welcome.

I love you, too.

We are not even feeding it into that pussy.

Mm -hmm.

Trick or treat.