Original subtitles

You want me to do anything to you?

I'm good.

-Really? -Mm-hmm.

It looks good.

Yeah.

I'm sure Rikard is happy to see you.

That was fun.

Right. Yeah.

I missed you.

Well, take care.

DIARY OF A DITCHED GIRL

♪ I tried to warn you That I'm bad and I'm loose… ♪

I TRIED TO REACH YOU. TEXT ME WHEN YOU READ THIS.

I'M SORRY. I MADE A MISTAKE. CALL ME

AMANDA, PLEASE GET IN TOUCH. I'M SORRY! CAN WE TALK?

♪ It's promethazine and a little 7UP ♪

-It's so weird. -What?

That I texted the bartender. I don't know why Emil didn't show up.

I'm not making this up, Mom.

-I believe you. -Oh, please.

I do!

If I'd been able to talk to Adina, this wouldn't have happened.

But she was too busy dancing.

It's not healthy that the two of you spend so much time together.

How's your Tiger?

I'm so tired of him always prioritizing his adult kids.

Nice.

-Ugh. -So dump him.

I know, I should. He never calls me. And he cancels.

Always last minute.

I would be so much better off without that asshole.

Don't fight against your nature, that's what you always say to me.

And, hey, maybe you're just not…

not meant to be with anyone.

Maybe you're right.

We're just not made for it. We're very similar, you and I.

And you know, maybe being in a relationship

isn't for everyone.

Plus, you gotta be able to feel good even if you're alone, right?

Without some annoying dude to drag around with you.

-Hey. -Hi.

I'm sorry for just…

turning up.

I just really needed to explain myself, but you're not answering your phone.

So, I totally get if you want me to leave,

but…

I'm going down to wash sheets, so…

Okay. Can I come with you?

For a minute?

-Can I help? -No.

Uh, I'm good. I don't need help.

-Thanks. -You sure?

TURN OFF THE LIGHT

I'm sorry I didn't come to the party.

I'm such a fucking jerk. I don't know what happened.

I was drunk as hell.

-You're good. -I really wanted to come, I just…

Right. I told my friends you'd be there.

But hey, it's okay.

Oh, fuck!

I'm sorry!

Especially 'cause you told me how you've been treated by… other guys.

And then I act the same.

I'm so sorry.

Is there anything I can…

Anything I can do to fix--

No, there's nothing.

You didn't show up. Now just let it go.

-But I can see you're pissed. -I'm not pissed!

-You're not? -No!

Right, okay.

Great. Well, I just wanted to apologize, so thanks for listening.

-I'll leave you alone. -Okay.

-Goodbye. -Hmm.

-I'm sorry. -Mm-hmm. Thank you.

So, is this really it?

We're throwing this all away just because I didn't show up?

Huh?

Say something, please!

I don't know what to say.

Right…

Okay.

Bye.

GROUP CHAT - DAD, ADINA, AMANDA DAD: ALMOST TIME! THE STAGE IS READY?

YEAH, JUST WORKING ON THE FINAL TOUCHES NOW!

KEEP THE DOOR CLOSED!

Hey.

Hey.

I was just thinking…

Well, it needs to be done.

Mm-hmm.

It looks great.

Oof. Fuck.

All right. Good, that's it. And… done.

Okay.

Wait, wait, wait. Let's try it with the lights too.

Let's see it.

Uh… We need to be there by four tomorrow.

Right, yeah.

-Uh, I've been thinking a lot. -Mm-hmm.

I don't know if it's a good idea for our relationship

for both of us to spend as much time together as we…

as we do.

Why not?

I received a job offer and I'm considering it.

Uh-huh. Okay.

And when was this?

I met with them a week ago, and it went well.

I got the offer a few days ago.

Okay.

Why didn't you tell me?

Is it because of this costume thing?

We can add that. It's not a problem.

It's not just that.

I'm doing this for us, not just for me, Amanda.

We need a bit of distance.

Things can't always stay the same, Amanda.

Things happen, people grow and change.

Hmm.

It's not as bad as it seems.

Okay.

Fuck.

Oh, yes.

It's so messy.

It's delicious!

-Yeah, that's how you can tell. -You know it.

Okay, guys. I've decided not to message Emil ever again.

I feel good about it.

-Good. -Hmm.

-Good. -Hmm.

What do you guys think?

-Good. -Good.

-It is, right? -Hmm.

You don't really think that.

I don't know what to do. Should I text him now?

I can't say that I freaked out and slept with someone else

'cause he got wasted with his friends, you know?

I don't owe him an explanation!

-You gotta think positive. Okay? -Yeah.

Okay? A positive is that you're getting dick.

Right? What do I get?

I get dick only at work.

The only dick I get to see is when old men come to the health center.

Like, I can't even say "dick." I have to say "penis."

-"Penis." -Is there a more disgusting word?

Are they smelly?

They smell so bad. They really do.

-They're smelly? -Yeah. Of course, they do. They're sick.

-Sick dick. -Goddamn.

Sick penises.

You made me lose my appetite.

Okay, but I don't know what to do. Please help me.

Have you talked to Adina about it?

-No. -No?

Should you talk to her about it?

Well, she doesn't want me to, so I can't.

What do you mean?

She's totally shut down. It's very annoying. Anyway…

-Okay, is it really that bad though? -It's just… Ugh!

Look, I can't right now.

-Wanna hear more penis stories? -Yes!

-The sickest dick I've seen? -Uh-huh.

I won't mention any names because of confidentiality, but it was so…

Careful!

-Filip, can you… -Mm?

-Watch your head. -Yep.

Okay. Take one of these as well.

-Hello there! -Hey, hey!

-Hey. -Hey.

Hey! Welcome.

-Hey! -Hey!

-Hey. -It looks really wonderful!

I mean, wow!

-Oh! Where do I… -Be careful with it.

-It's like the Olympics. -Be careful.

It's the Olympic opening ceremony!

-Here, I'll take that. We'll put it there. -I'm gonna feel like an emperor!

-How beautiful! -Wow.

Seriously, girls, well done.

All right then. So who's going to be giving the welcome speech?

The welcome speech? What?

Amanda.

You're my firstborn. I didn't think you need reminding.

No. Come down. Come down, Rikard.

-Look, it's uneven. -It's holding…

I can say a few words if you want me to.

Oh, don't pressure them, Rikard.

I don't feel pressured.

-I'd like to do it. -No, no. There's no need.

Honestly, girls, it looks great.

And you guys, come with me to help lift something.

-It looks great. Come on, over here. -Duty calls.

Right. Yeah, well…

Do you know any good restaurants in Copenhagen?

Hey.

Hey, sweetie.

Hey, there. What is it?

Adina and I had a really big fight.

Did you?

Come here, honey!

-Look, we'll talk later. -Rikard! Rikard!

Okay, everybody! Okay!

Okay, okay, okay! Yeah!

-Hop up, will you? -Woo!

Rikard!

We're all gathered here today

to celebrate someone we love very much.

-Oh, come on! -Oh, yes.

Come here, Gustav. Stand here.

So… Hey, come a little closer. Next to Mama.

A person who listens to the same song over and over again,

like a thousand times,

which drives me crazy.

Go Torsson!

♪ Klippans centrum ♪

But you are also

the most wonderful, kind-hearted and amazing, crazy man.

You are such a devoted Papa.

Not once have you ever missed football practice. I'm getting emotional.

-Aw! -Oh, honey.

Every Saturday, you have stood in Grevie Park,

cheering on this little guy here.

And that's why Gustav and I

would like to wish you a happy birthday with this little gift.

-Happy birthday, Dad. -Thanks.

Wow, what could it be?

-Ooh! -Ooh. You wanna know what it is?

Here we go!

-Show us! -Okay.

It's a nameplate and it really means a lot,

because written on it is our new last name.

Ooh!

And this is because Rikard has decided to take my family name,

or rather, our family name, Jovanovič.

So please raise your glass for our new step as a family.

Oh, um…

Rikard Jovanovič.

Happy 60th birthday.

Woo!

Ah-ha!

Hiding, are we?

Oh dear.

Is this is why we're nearly out of wine?

Hi, sweetie!

Dad.

-Do you love us? -Huh?

Yeah.

Of course, I do.

-Very much. -But you don't want our name?

Ah. Listen.

It isn't a big deal, sweetie.

Okay? I've had the same last name for ages.

It's Gustav and Paula's turn now.

Surely you know how fucked up that was for us?

Okay, okay.

I should've…

I should've said something. But…

Look, it's just a name.

Yeah, but it's not. We don't know how to ski.

What are you talking about?

We don't know how, but Gustav does. We don't know how to.

'Cause we have never been on a single family vacation!

I don't think that's…

-You, uh… Didn't you come to Tandådalen? -No!

You did. And Sälen?

We only see you when Paula is away or when Gustav is busy.

We are always your very last option.

For once in our lives, if we could just feel like we actually mattered.

You only call, like, when you need help fixing things.

-Look, I don't-- -No! Listen!

How are we supposed to understand love

when the only way you show it is so freaking weird?

Well, I'm sorry!

I do what I can.

It's not that easy for me either.

I guess I'm the worst.

All of this just came out wrong.

Oh. So wrong.

Sweetie. Sweetie! What did I…

Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Amanda!

It's not always a bad thing to be somebody who can't contain herself.

Can I take the van?

Of course! Go!

♪ Carry on, love Carry on now, baby ♪

♪ I mean it, I hurt you ♪

♪ Carry on, now ♪

♪ I mean it, I hurt you ♪

♪ I miss you, your virtue ♪

♪ I mean it, I hurt you ♪

Hey.

Hey.

I would like to change my answer.

What?

I wanna, well…

Well, you asked if… if this was it and I'd like to change my answer.

Yeah, you didn't actually give me an answer.

Oh. Right.

So, I'd like to change that. Can I come in?

Um… Okay.

It's nice in here.

Thanks.

Wh… What did you…

Right. I just wanna…

I know I was acting really weird last time.

So…

-Yeah. -Yeah.

You were kind of…

Mm.

And it honestly has nothing to do with you. It's just that I've…

…got all these expectations about, you know, what dating should look like.

So I jump to conclusions and catastrophize.

Which makes it really hard.

Yeah.

And then I just fuck it all up.

So I wanna change my answer and say that I, um…

I really don't, uh…

I really don't want this to be it.

I wanna keep this going.

Okay.

Are you sure about this?

Am I sure?

-Yeah. -Yes, of course!

I am really, really sure.

I really am.

Can we just start again?

Of course.

You're not fucking it up.

♪ Down the highway The stars are out, they're just for us ♪

♪ Like a scene from a movie I see us now ♪

♪ The night is ours ♪

♪ We're moving at the speed of light ♪

♪ To the magic hour ♪

♪ Oh, I could still remember how ♪

♪ We would dream of a future ♪

♪ And paint it bright ♪

-What are you saying? It's awful! -No. What the hell? No.

-Okay. -Okay.

But it's awful. They have no…

-I mean, they have no teeth! -I agree. It's important to have teeth.

But I feel like they're already quite a few leagues below you.

Would you not kiss them just to find out?

Well, I'd like to toast to Filip keeping his teeth forever!

She definitely would.

Okay, come on, look.

Maybe I should have trained as a dentist.

-See? -That was for me.

Shut up! Hey, look. Will you help me? Please?

-Jabba, you gotta stop! -Be my wingman?

-Adina, you were saying… -You gotta be my wingman. You do!

You never succeed, so…

-What the fuck?! -Just kidding! Just kidding!

-Okay, tonight is the night. -Sorry?

It's happening, guys.

What are the people like?

-Another! -Another!

-Okay. I'll get it. -I'll go.

-Wait, really? -Yeah. It was tequila, right?

-Oh, beer, please. -Or tequila?

-Tequila later. -Tequila!

-Come on. -Tequila!

-I want one. -Okay, beer.

How many?

-Tequila. -Beer.

-Seven. -Four, six… seven!

-Okay. -Thank you.

I am so happy you're in love, Amanda.

It's wonderful, but… do you really have to hold hands under the table?

-I'm sorry, you guys! -That might be a little too much.

-Maybe just a little… -It's too much. I'm sorry, okay?

But it's fine 'cause he's just so adorable.

He's wonderful.

I love him so much, Amanda!

-Is it weird if I put my hand under too? -No!

And he's got really hot friends.

We all benefit. So thank you, it's a real bonus.

-It's a bonus. -It totally is.

-There's nothing I can do. -Oh, come on!

Where are you going?

Filip's gonna hook me up with my new boyfriend.

I'm gonna use all my skills to hook her up with the DJ.

Oh, perfect. Ask him to queue "The Rockafeller Skank"

as the next song, would you?

Um… That's too many requests.

Come on, Filip!

Okay, I swear, I won't ask you guys again.

-Do you like Emil? -Uh-huh!

-You do? -Definitely.

We like him a lot.

I've got a good feeling.

I've got a good feeling, Amanda.

How hard can it be?

Oh my God.

What is it?

-Hey. -What?

Look over there.

Oh my God. Why did he have to stand there?

He's looking this way! He's looking right at us.

Hey.

Emil knows you slept with the bartender, right? You told him…

No! No, I didn't.

He doesn't know. That's… Okay.

Okay.

-Your brother? -I hate him so much.

Why is he so hot?

Oh, come on, for God's sake. Stop. He's fucking gross.

Oh my God, are they talking?

-Stop staring at them. Stop! -Are they talking?

What should I do? Should I go over there?

No! Stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay!

-What?! No. -Okay, I won't go over.

-Yeah, you're right, I shouldn't. -Don't go. Just stay here.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…

BASED ON THE NOVEL BY AMANDA ROMARE

♪ Check it out now The funk soul brother ♪

♪ Right about now The funk soul brother ♪

♪ Check it out now The funk soul brother ♪

♪ Right about now The funk soul brother ♪