Original subtitles

Hey!

What are you doing? Stop.

-It's closed. Come back later. -But I left my jacket.

-Your jacket? -Yeah. Can you open the gate?

Do you work here?

-Yeah, of course. -Okay.

I forgot my keys, so…

Just wait a second.

-Jonte! -Yeah?

-Come outside. -What is it?

-There's a girl here, says she works here. -What?

Ah.

Uh…

Yeah, she's new.

So, we're good. Okay?

-Come with me. -Mm-hmm.

What was your coat check number?

Hmm.

Gosh, what was the number? Um.

Uh, thirty-something? I don't remember.

What does the jacket look like?

It's leather, blackish blue and it's short.

Okay.

Uh… So, I think…

-Is this it? -Yes!

-It is? -It is.

Okay.

I actually found this one next to some beer barrels.

Like it had been hidden.

-How very odd. -Yeah. Weird, right?

-Who put it there? -I don't know.

Anyway, it's uh… It's lucky it got there.

-I know. -Here you go.

-You should put a GPS tag on it next time. -Mm-hmm.

Or, you know, you can also get these, uh… these little tickets.

So, we both stand here, and you give me your coat to hang up.

-So that's how it works! Wow, so cool. -Yeah, I know. It's really clever.

-Well, now you know. For the next time. -Yes. Right.

-Know the way out? -Yeah.

-Cool. -But, hey…

Hmm?

Do you want my number?

Yeah, 'cause seeing as we work together as colleagues,

it'd be really good for team building.

Or like, if you're ill, then you can just let me know.

Uh-huh. Oh, sure.

-I think my phone's in my jacket, but… -Ah, okay. No worries.

Maybe you could write your number on here?

Sure.

Amanda.

-Amanda. -So…

All right.

Uh, thanks.

You'll have to call me.

Mm-hmm. I will, yeah.

-Will you tell the boss if I don't? -I sure will.

DIARY OF A DITCHED GIRL

Here, listen.

"It was the feints and the nice moves that were more important than winning."

"The stuff like, 'Oh, yo! Wow! Look at him!'"

"You had to impress everybody else with tricks,

so you had to practice all day long until you were the best player there."

Zlatan!

I mean…

Red light. Mom. Oh my God, it's a red light!

What are you doing, Mom?!

It wasn't red. It was… dark yellow.

It was blood red, Mom. Fucking hell!

You can't just play God like that.

Just 'cause you gave us life,

doesn't mean you can do whatever the fuck you want.

-Adina, I mean… Chill! -You're fucking dangerous.

And they only go red when you girls are with me.

-What the fuck is that supposed to mean? -It's just really strange.

And you do know that the road signs and all those traffic lights

are just recommendations?

Mom, can you pass the electrical tape?

Listen to this.

"I would often sleep with the ball, working out new tricks

I could try the next day."

"It was like a movie that just wouldn't stop playing."

That's nice. I thought you dumped the consultant.

-Yeah, so? -Why are you reading his favorite book?

Because it's very good! I've got my eye on someone new.

Oh, right.

What are you doing?

It's a cocktail shake... Never mind.

-Oh, right. -Do you have the tape, Mom?

-For God's sake. Can you help out, please? -Huh? Stop yelling at me--

-You've done nothing at all to help. -Well…

-Come on, Monika! Electrical tape. -Yeah, well. There.

Was it weird to say I work there?

Yes.

Come on. Give him some time. It's been like, what, a day?

A day and a half.

-Mom, time to fireproof. -We gotta fireproof, Adina!

-Adina, time to fireproof! -That's what I just said.

"A cable is a fire that hasn't happened yet."

Fuck you.

Mom, what're you doing? Are you taking selfies?

Yeah.

I've got a date with My Sexy Tiger tonight.

-You do? -Yes!

Even though the consultant was a complete asshole,

I'm glad I got to be naked with someone, you know?

Come on, guys. Can you help out, please?

We really need the installation to be perfect

so they actually pay us next time.

-What's going on here? -Oh, hey!

-Oh my God, he messaged! -Hey!

Jesus fucking Christ. So, yeah…

Tonight is the launch of a brand of ethical…

HOW ABOUT A 2-PERSON KICK-OFF? ENSURING JOB SATISFACTION?

YES! BOWLING FOLLOWED BY…

All the feathers in your down blankets come from geese.

Unfortunately, they're plucked when still alive.

BOWLING AND TEAMWORK EXERCISES?

Their legs are cut off while they're still alive. It's fucking awful.

But here, we have blankets that are locally made,

so they're not imported from China…

I'LL GET BACK TO YOU WHEN I'VE CHECKED WITH HR

'Cause nearly all other down blankets are made in China.

Adina! Can we talk for a second?

He said he'll "get back to me." What does that mean?

I don't… What?! How would I know? Seriously, Amanda.

-I've found a video. -Really?

-I wanna see! Come on! -No, I'm too scared!

-He looks so hot! -So show us!

Ah! Oh my God, cute!

-Look at you! He's hot! -His hair's shorter now.

-Like, he's very… He's… -Okay.

The Scientologists reported you for abuse and theft.

-Do you have any comments on that? -Yeah. Look...

All I did was try to get some evidence for the world to see what was going on.

So, you see, I had to punch my way out of there.

-But it was really just self-defense. -Are you saying you were brainwashed?

I mean… For real, man.

Like, anything, like, goes there. They normalize the craziest behavior.

It can happen to anyone.

Damn.

It can happen to anyone, right?

That probably, uh, happens a lot.

Ugh. That's really not good. Shit.

It was a little… unexpected.

But hey, he's got the most incredible hair, I mean…

But he's had a haircut.

You know what else gets normalized in these situations? Those shirts.

Yeah, but he has a totally different style now, so…

He dropped the cult style, huh? Right?

No, stop it! I really don't think it's that big a deal.

-Yeah, absolutely. -Uh-huh.

It's totally fine that he was part of a crazy cult, right?

Hmm?

There were really good vibes. People were trying your duvets…

It was a really great event,

and we're really stoked with this collaboration.

Oh, well, that's great.

-See that it pays? That little extra? -Yeah.

Right. Well, that little extra. I wanted to talk about that too.

'Cause the sales figures weren't what we hoped for.

Oh, really?

Yeah. Fluff only managed to sell one blanket.

-Oh, what? That's so strange. -Oh, wow.

And I'm afraid that means that they can't reimburse you.

Oh, no. That's… That's cool.

Like, we knew they weren't gonna pay, but why didn't they--

No, I'm talking about, uh, the material costs that were added.

-What? -Uh, the bed and the lamp too.

Hmm.

Mom, stop that!

You're saying we have to pay for the additional costs?

You were the people doing the PR.

-Our role is just to build stuff, not… -Exactly.

Thing is, our order was really simple.

Your "order" was a bit boring, don't you think?

Cut it out!

Choosing to do a more expensive installation was your decision.

Okay.

You said you liked our ideas. And that you supported them.

-But now you just… -I really did.

But the results weren't what we hoped for.

You don't get it. We're going to have to get rid of this place.

Oh my God. Calm down.

What're we gonna do? We have no money.

We'll have to traffic ourselves.

Sell our bodies for sex. It's a good thing we're close to the border.

Oh, Adina! Would you just stop it?

It's gonna be fine.

Trust me.

Your phone's ringing.

"My Sleeping Tiger." Why not "sexy"?

That asshole never showed up.

I got so angry that I renamed him "My Dead Tiger."

But then I thought, "No, that's a bit harsh."

So, I changed it to "My Sleeping Tiger."

Mom, I think it's good he didn't show up.

I think you should downgrade him to "Leave Me The Fuck Alone Tiger."

You may be right.

I mean, you know, because the energy from all the men you sleep with…

It remains in your uterus.

So, it wouldn't be a bad idea to have higher standards.

Wait, what do you mean? How long does it remain?

Oh, it stays in there forever. That crap is stuck in you forever.

Just imagine what I'm carrying around.

-Oh, come on! -What?

-That's not fair, Amanda. -What?

You didn't tell me you were gonna dress all fancy.

Well, I have to. Right?

You look so good. I love it.

-You brought flowers for Dad? -No, for the bartender.

Of course! He's gonna be blown away.

He'll love it.

You never tell me I look good.

-Yeah, I do. -Right.

It's okay. Really. I've just realized that… you don't.

What are you talking about? You're so pretty, like, it's obvious.

And Filip says it to you all the time.

-Look, it's okay, really. Forget it. -You're so beautiful.

It's…

no big deal.

Did Dad say what he wanted? Hmm?

-Uh, he just said, "Dinner." -Mm.

-Well, it's nice of him to visit. -Yeah, it is.

My God!

-I forgot to say. -What?

You look incredible!

-Oh, you asshole. Fuck you! -Yeah?

You look incredible.

COD LOIN CAPRESE SALTIMBOCCA ALLA ROMANA

TOMATO SOUP WITH PESTO PRAWN SALAD

I think the soup for me.

Look, have whatever you like.

Okay? Oh, it's my treat, of course.

-That's very nice. -Yeah. Thanks, Dad.

I'll get the prawn salad then.

I'll get the same, but with goat cheese.

Are you sure?

The cod fillet is really good.

The prawn salad sounds really delicious though.

-Yeah. And I'm still vegetarian. -Of course. I know that, but…

Well, as you wish. You choose what you want.

Mm!

Hey, those are beautiful flowers. Who are they for?

Huh? Come on, tell me his name then.

Jonte. Jonathan.

That's a great name. It's reliable.

I, uh, dated a Gun-Maj once.

You know, that's actually why I ended up breaking up with her.

-That's awful, Dad. -I'm still ashamed of it.

There was a guy in my class whose name was Jan Lennon.

-You've gotta be kidding. -No. His name was Jan Lennon.

-Jesus. -I'm rooting for Jonathan.

-What does he do? -He was a Scientologist.

Ooh, how exciting.

Uh, I have to take this call.

Uh, sorry.

What did you do that for?

-Hi, honey. -Do what?

-Don't steal my bread. -You've got it all!

I had to go to Malmö for some… meetings.

Mm-hmm. Just some, uh…

errands.

No, no. Just for the day.

I'm going home to Gustav later and then I'll drive him to his tennis practice.

-Yeah. What? No! -Bread?

-Oh, for God's sake. -Yeah.

-Thank you. -Is yours good?

Yeah. It's really good.

Yeah, do that and call me later. Yeah, I love you too.

Yeah… Yep.

I love you, baby. Kiss, kiss.

Paula… says hi, of course.

-Mm. -That's nice.

Yeah, it is.

I mean, it looks like we should…

should talk about the elephant that's in the room.

Oh, come on!

-You both forgot my birthday? -Oh!

I thought I'd celebrate my 60th in style.

Oh, yeah. Sure.

-Get everyone together for a big party. -Nice.

Sounds good.

Problem is, of course, that I'm no good at these things.

I find them stressful. So…

Do you think you would consider helping me out with some of it?

-I mean, sure. We can definitely do it. -Right, yeah.

Aw. You're the best.

Thank you.

I couldn't do it otherwise.

So where are you meeting him?

-The Taproom. -Nice.

Feels safe, you know?

-In case he's a weirdo. -True.

He's not gonna be weird, I mean…

Like, those people who have left those white supremacist groups,

they usually start working in anti-racism.

-I bet he'll be like that. -Oh?

I'm sure he's a good guy.

-Is that common? -Oh my God, yeah. It's super common.

-Oh. -Yeah.

I've just bought him a beer. Is that too much?

-No, I think that's thoughtful. -Okay.

Hey, maybe I should skip the flowers then, huh? Or…

No, I would have loved that.

Wait, you mean the flowers or the beer or…?

Um… both.

Okay. I've just got normal lager.

-Was that… Was that stupid? -Everyone likes…

-Filip, wait! -We can't be late for our laundry slot.

The laundry room is one minute away. Please stay one minute?

-He wants to use the steaming thingamajig. -Okay, yeah, but…

When he gets here, like, do I hand him the beer or just leave it?

-Uh, I'd leave it on the table. -Yeah, hand it to him.

Okay.

I think there's something in your hair.

Where? Shit, he's coming.

-Hello. -Hey.

-Hey. How are you? -Good. You?

Yeah, I'm good.

It's nice that I can bring all this.

'Cause there's no coat check here.

I did see a loudspeaker. If you…

-Ah. -Mm.

-Um, is this for me? -Oh, uh-huh.

That's so… nice.

I mean, we're colleagues now, so we should, you know, like…

Uh-huh. That's right.

-Do nice things for each other. -Yeah!

Um… But I'm afraid the company policy says I can only offer one beer.

-That's no fun. -Right?

Yeah.

Hey, I invented a new drink last Friday.

-Really? -Uh-huh. It was the bestseller.

-Hey! -Yeah.

That's great!

Yeah, it was great, actually. Thank you.

And easy to make too, so…

It was a shot of gin, one of, um, apricot brandy…

-Mm-hmm. -Uh, agave syrup, lime, mint…

IS THERE SOMETHING IN MY HAIR?

SALAD DRESSING? RIGHT SIDE.

…some lemonade.

Uh…

You okay?

-Has something… -No.

No?

But it was really just self-defense.

-You were brainwashed then? -What?

Uh…

You've seen the interview?

Oh, yeah.

Fuck, I've gotten so much shit because of that one stupid video.

I mean, everything I said was completely taken out of context.

Sorry. It's just, to be honest, I was…

I was in a very dark place when I was recruited.

And the stuff about the violence…

I just wanted some evidence to show everybody how crazy they are.

But everybody knows that.

Sure, but, uh…

People might not know… just how bad.

I brought you these.

Really?

That's, uh, very-- Oop. Oi.

They're, um...

lovely.

No, they're ugly as hell.

Yeah, but…

They go really well in here.

-That's exactly what I thought! -Oh, really?

Well, that's really… sweet. Thank you.

I, um…

I got you something too actually.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

-What are we doing? -We're just gonna, uh…

I mean, don't be scared.

-"Don't be scared"? -Yeah, it's safe.

-So, what are we doing? -I mean, we just… gotta be quick, okay?

Here, take this. Your gift.

-You're joking? -No!

-What? -Let's do this.

-But where? Here? -Oh, yeah!

-Okay. Put it down. -Oh my God.

-This is insane. -Oh, come on!

-Here, right now? -What? Yeah!

Then, uh…

Okay, these are top quality,

so as soon as they're lit, we gotta run like crazy, okay?

-Wait, wait, wait. -What? What is it?

-What? No, are you bailing? -Will you bring it?

-No. -Huh?

-Just bring it. -Okay. I got it.

-Where are we going? -Just wait and see.

-Okay. -Oh my God!

-Where are we going? -We're doing it there.

-Now I'm scared. -There.

Fuck, yeah! We've gotta do it here!

-Are you game? -Oh, yeah!

-Are you? -I'm game. Fuck, yeah!

Fuck you, Fluff!

You're the psycho, not me!

Oh, shit.

Oh my God!

♪ Do what I want 'cause I can ♪

-Oh my God! -Oh shit!

Fuck.

Let's go. We gotta get outta here before the cops show up. Run!

♪ Because I'm gonna ♪

♪ Hate to say I told you so, all right ♪

Whoa!

You're crazy.

That's a little weird.

Huh?

There are people dealing over there.

We should keep walking.

-Yeah, keep walking. -Yeah.

You good?

Uh, yeah. I'm good.

-Long time… -Yeah.

You good?

We, uh… used to hang out a long time ago when I wasn't good.

Oh, I see.

During your Scientology period, right?

Yeah… No, before that.

I, uh… tried a lot of different stuff during that time.

-Like what? -The usual stuff.

Weed, MDMA, heroin.

Mm. Heroin?

Yeah, but…

It's not like I'm a junkie, you know?

-Come on. Don't, like… -That's what all junkies say.

-"I'm not a junkie, it's just heroin." -Yeah.

Maybe, but, uh…

a friend of mine OD'd, so I stopped all that.

-Like, right away. -Shit, that's awful.

But look…

Um…

Well, to prove to you just how harmless I really am,

I could invite you over for a…

a cup of chamomile tea?

Zero caffeine.

-Is that an herbal thing? -I think so, yeah.

-What, and I'm just supposed to trust you? -Are you serious?!

-Really? -I have…

Uh…

I have water too, so…

I love water.

I'm out of water, so we'll have to drink wine instead.

That okay?

-Sure. -Yeah?

It's a real relief to see you don't bring your work home with you

at the end of the day.

Yeah, it's very important to me. Very.

-I can see. -Uh-huh.

So, this is me.

-Very nice. -Thanks.

-A little messy, but, uh… -No.

What's all this?

They're my, uh, friends.

-They're your friends? -Yeah.

Um, this one here is Petronella.

Rikard.

I'm being serious.

Maybe I need to get rid of some of them,

but you get close, you know?

It's weird.

-I can help with Rikard if you want. -Mm.

Rikard's actually my favorite.

Um…

But, um, we can have shared custody?

How do you turn the lights out?

You just…

…do this.

I think it's nighttime for them as well.

Oh, yeah? And they've had a really long day.

So, they should really get some sleep.

Isn't there a workplace rule that says colleagues can't sleep with each other?

-It's a little tight. -A little.

You okay?

-What is it? -No, nothing.

I'm just thinking about the heroin.

What?

-Wh… What do you mean? -Yeah.

What?!

What about the heroin?

What, like… No, I didn't…

I didn't use hypodermic needles, so it's…

But, um…

We can use a condom.

If you want.

-Do you? -Uh, yeah.

Shit.

Sorry, I guess that was…

a little too quick, maybe.

It was just so…

-Same here. -Oh, yeah?

-It was… -Same here.

Nice, right?

You're really beautiful. Do you know that?

Fuck! That's just my, um…

It's just my roommate.

I share this apartment.

No, no, no, no, it's fine. You're good.

-You think they heard me? Oh my God! -No, definitely not. Don't stress.

-It's not like they're my parents. -Stop it!

Why? What?

It's cool.

This is when I beat you at Mario.

At Mario?

I don't think I have the energy.

I get it.

I'm just tired.

But could we, I don't know…

watch a movie or something?

And we can chill?

Hey, you're welcome to stay.

♪ Down, down in my bones ♪

♪ Somewhere I'd never have known ♪

♪ Right at the back of my head… ♪

THANKS FOR A GREAT CONFERENCE.

THINK WE TOTALLY NAILED

THE TEAM-BUILDING EXERCISES

♪ …'Cause you talk to me And it comes off the wall... ♪

I guess it's a little strange, but nothing major.

He just used to be a Scientologist.

You don't need to focus on stuff like that. It's not important.

That's true.

It feels like…

I just feel drawn to him on a whole other level.

Oh, I know what you mean. Look, attraction isn't in the mind.

It's in here. The body.

Exactly! It's all over our entire body.

Yeah! Ooh.

Good.

Oh, and there's another little… you know, a thing.

He used heroin for a small time.

Wait. What the fuck? Huh!

-What's going on? Are you listening to me? -The Tiger cancelled again.

Well, Mom thinks it's all just minor details, so…

Yeah, classic minor detail. Heroin.

I AM ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIĆ

BUT I STILL FEEL THERE ARE THINGS WE NEVER GOT AROUND TO.

MAYBE WE SHOULD SCHEDULE A PLANNING DAY SHORTLY?

-What the fuck is that? -It's just the building.

Uh, Amanda?

-Mm? -Amanda, can you come here?

Now, please!

Oh my God, shit! There are bugs. Quick, help me!

They're in the tree!

Get something!

Get some hairspray or something! Bring something to use as a weapon!

Anything!

I told you not to bring in a dead tree from the park!

No, dammit! Amanda, help me!

-They're everywhere! -Is he ditching me?

-He wrote, "Take care." -Amanda!

BACK AT YA. TAKE CARE.

BASED ON THE NOVEL BY AMANDA ROMARE

♪ My baby does so much panicking around ♪

♪ And lately, I cannot talk her down ♪