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1
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# I feel it in my fingers
I feel it in my toes
2
00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:08,700
# Doo, doo, doo-doo, doo
3
00:00:08,740 --> 00:00:11,420
# Love is all around me
4
00:00:11,460 --> 00:00:13,420
# And so the feeling grows
5
00:00:13,460 --> 00:00:17,380
# Doo, doo, doo-doo, doo
6
00:00:17,420 --> 00:00:19,820
# It's written in the wind
7
00:00:19,860 --> 00:00:22,380
♪ It's everywhere I go... ♪
8
00:00:22,420 --> 00:00:26,140
Sweet Jesus.
9
00:00:26,180 --> 00:00:28,340
# So if you really love me
10
00:00:28,380 --> 00:00:31,020
♪ Come on and let it show... ♪
11
00:00:31,060 --> 00:00:35,060
Did I not ban this one?
Let me see.
12
00:00:35,860 --> 00:00:38,100
Endless Love, The Power Of Love,
What You Need Is Love,
13
00:00:38,140 --> 00:00:39,140
How Deep Is Your Love?
14
00:00:39,180 --> 00:00:41,540
It Must Have Been Love,
I Want To Know What Love Is,
15
00:00:41,580 --> 00:00:43,100
I Will Always Love You.
16
00:00:43,140 --> 00:00:47,140
No, Sister, you didn't.
17
00:00:48,740 --> 00:00:50,740
# Cos on my love
18
00:00:50,780 --> 00:00:54,580
♪ You can depe-he-hend... ♪
19
00:00:54,620 --> 00:00:58,620
Put it on the list.
Wonderful, girls, lovely stuff.
20
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:01,820
Before I dismiss you for the
weekend, a few announcements.
21
00:01:01,860 --> 00:01:03,260
On Monday morning,
22
00:01:03,300 --> 00:01:07,300
several of our Year 13s will
face their GCSE maths resit.
23
00:01:08,500 --> 00:01:12,420
Now, I know how daunting resit
examinations can be,
24
00:01:12,460 --> 00:01:15,220
so if anyone is feeling anxious or
worried,
25
00:01:15,260 --> 00:01:17,100
or even if you just want to chat,
26
00:01:17,140 --> 00:01:20,580
please, please, do not come crying
to me.
27
00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:22,060
Let me see, what else?
28
00:01:22,100 --> 00:01:25,180
Come on, come on, come on to fuck!
Notice from Mr McCauley.
29
00:01:25,220 --> 00:01:29,220
This year's destination
for the Euro Trotters trip will be
30
00:01:29,420 --> 00:01:33,420
dramatic pause...
31
00:01:33,980 --> 00:01:37,980
Did you actually want me
to do the dramatic pause?
32
00:01:38,380 --> 00:01:40,740
Interesting.
33
00:01:40,780 --> 00:01:43,140
Paris, it's going to be Paris.
34
00:01:43,180 --> 00:01:47,180
If you need any further information,
there is a stall in the foyer.
35
00:01:47,260 --> 00:01:50,180
Sadly, I am unable to come on this
one
36
00:01:50,220 --> 00:01:53,340
as I despise the French.
37
00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:55,500
In the name of the Father,
the Son and the Holy Spirit.
38
00:01:55,540 --> 00:01:59,540
MUSIC: BOUM
by Charles Trenet
39
00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:01,620
BELL RINGS
40
00:02:01,660 --> 00:02:03,780
There's so much I want to do,
41
00:02:03,820 --> 00:02:06,420
the Champs-Elysees, the Arc de
Triomphe, The Louvre...
42
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,380
A French fella. That's what
I want to do. Nation of rides.
43
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:11,380
My fanny is going funny just
thinking about it.
44
00:02:11,420 --> 00:02:14,300
Could you not use that word,
Michelle? What, Fanny?
45
00:02:14,340 --> 00:02:16,220
Why do you always have to be so
coarse?
46
00:02:16,260 --> 00:02:18,140
What is the big deal? We all
have one.
47
00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:20,980
JAMES: I don't. You are one. Of
course, Beckett lived in Paris,
48
00:02:21,020 --> 00:02:24,300
and if anybody's
influenced my writing, it is...
49
00:02:24,340 --> 00:02:26,100
Brenda Beckett from 12A?
50
00:02:26,140 --> 00:02:29,140
No, not Brenda Beckett.
Beckett Beckett.
51
00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:31,460
If we go to Paris, I'd like to
meet Nicole.
52
00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:32,780
Who is Nicole?
53
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,180
For God's sake.
54
00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:36,700
How many times? It's just an ad.
She's not a real person.
55
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:37,740
Neither is Papa.
56
00:02:37,780 --> 00:02:40,100
It would be good conversation
practice as well, you know,
57
00:02:40,140 --> 00:02:41,420
for the orals.
58
00:02:41,460 --> 00:02:43,580
Which will be the only oral that you
get.
59
00:02:43,620 --> 00:02:46,060
OK, Michelle.
Will you let me finish?
60
00:02:46,100 --> 00:02:48,340
Well, I sensed where you were going.
61
00:02:48,380 --> 00:02:49,780
Blow jobs.
62
00:02:49,820 --> 00:02:51,020
Oh, God.
63
00:02:51,060 --> 00:02:53,780
Don't tell me Charlene Kasvanasgh is
going.
64
00:02:53,820 --> 00:02:55,540
She is dying about herself.
65
00:02:55,580 --> 00:02:57,780
"Oh, I'm so good-looking, oh,
I'm so popular... "
66
00:02:57,820 --> 00:03:00,500
If there ever was a more shallow,
67
00:03:00,540 --> 00:03:03,500
self absorbed, generally unpleasant
human being...
68
00:03:03,540 --> 00:03:04,980
Hi, Erin.
69
00:03:05,020 --> 00:03:08,460
Hi. Good. Grand. Not too bad.
70
00:03:08,500 --> 00:03:10,140
Can't complain.
71
00:03:10,180 --> 00:03:13,140
Is the answer I'd have given
if you'd asked how I was.
72
00:03:13,180 --> 00:03:17,180
Right. Are you signing up for Paris?
I can't convince that lot to come.
73
00:03:18,860 --> 00:03:21,580
Looks like I'm going to need someone
to hang out with.
74
00:03:21,620 --> 00:03:24,220
It would be an honour.
75
00:03:24,260 --> 00:03:28,180
OK. Well, I'll see you later then.
You will, Charlene.
76
00:03:28,220 --> 00:03:30,180
Indeed you will!
77
00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:31,700
Did you hear that?
78
00:03:31,740 --> 00:03:35,540
The Charlene Kasvanasgh wants
to hang around with little old me.
79
00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:37,620
Do you know what I admire most about
you, Erin?
80
00:03:37,660 --> 00:03:41,060
Your unshakeable principles!
81
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:44,220
Bonjour, tout-le-monde.
Comment allez-vous?
82
00:03:44,260 --> 00:03:47,020
MICHELLE: Wise up, Jenny.
Where do we sign?
83
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:50,540
Hold on! Stall the fucking ball!
375 quid?
84
00:03:50,580 --> 00:03:52,420
Are you for real?
85
00:03:52,460 --> 00:03:55,340
What?! L375 each?
86
00:03:55,380 --> 00:03:58,700
Isn't there some sort of group
discount? It's not Club 18 to 30.
87
00:03:58,740 --> 00:04:00,900
More's the pity. It is a
bit steep, Jenny.
88
00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:02,860
Just dip into your trust fund.
89
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:05,460
I do it all the time. Our what?
90
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:08,020
It's like an account your parents
set up for you
91
00:04:08,060 --> 00:04:10,580
to help pay for things like
university,
92
00:04:10,620 --> 00:04:12,980
your first car, educational trips!
93
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:14,980
I didn't know about this.
94
00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:16,460
Did you know about this?
95
00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:19,780
No, did I fuck! Trust funds, you
say...
96
00:04:19,820 --> 00:04:22,380
Interesting.
97
00:04:22,420 --> 00:04:25,820
Dip into your trust fund?
Of course, no bother at all.
98
00:04:25,860 --> 00:04:28,900
Pass us the phone,
I just need to ring the bank.
99
00:04:28,940 --> 00:04:32,940
7654321, that's the account number.
The password, what is it again?
100
00:04:33,420 --> 00:04:34,740
What was it now?
101
00:04:34,780 --> 00:04:37,500
Oh, aye, catch yourself on.
Da, for God's sake,
102
00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:38,900
will you turn that down?
103
00:04:38,940 --> 00:04:40,540
I have turned it down. It's at
zero...
104
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:42,100
TELEVISION: An opportunity there.
105
00:04:42,140 --> 00:04:43,500
I don't know how he does it.
106
00:04:43,540 --> 00:04:46,140
Are you telling me I don't have a
trust fund? There you go.
107
00:04:46,180 --> 00:04:48,940
You're are not as slow as you look.
Do I have a trust fund, Mary?
108
00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:52,780
Listen, girls, there are no trust
funds. There are no funds, period.
109
00:04:52,820 --> 00:04:55,180
For God's sake!
110
00:04:55,220 --> 00:04:58,860
OK, that is one portion of redfish,
one portion of whitefish,
111
00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:02,540
two bags of chips... No, no, no!
Two bags won't be enough.
112
00:05:02,580 --> 00:05:04,620
Two is plenty, Joe. Four!
113
00:05:04,660 --> 00:05:07,340
Four should cover it.
Three, then, we'll compromise.
114
00:05:07,380 --> 00:05:09,860
I'll compromise you through that
window. That's enough, Da.
115
00:05:09,900 --> 00:05:12,940
The tight bastard is trying to
starve us all, Mary.
116
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:14,700
OK, four bags of chips, then.
117
00:05:14,740 --> 00:05:17,460
ORLA: And I want 12 chicken nuggets,
a small battered hot dog,
118
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:20,020
plenty of onions, plenty of...
Get a move-on, Daddy.
119
00:05:20,060 --> 00:05:23,060
At that chippy, well, it's every
man for himself on a Friday night.
120
00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:25,060
I am trying to concentrate here,
Erin.
121
00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:26,140
ORLA: All right, Mammy?
122
00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:28,980
All right, love.
Did you ask about the trust fund?
123
00:05:29,020 --> 00:05:31,140
I don't have one.
124
00:05:31,180 --> 00:05:33,100
I take it that means I don't have
one.
125
00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:36,980
For the love of God! Will four
bags be enough? More than enough.
126
00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:39,740
I'd say we need five to be safe.
Do you not think, Dad?
127
00:05:39,780 --> 00:05:41,660
JOE: Stick down five.
128
00:05:41,700 --> 00:05:44,940
Five bags of chips, then!
I'll have a chicken fillet burger.
129
00:05:44,980 --> 00:05:48,060
No lettuce, no tomato, no cheese...
I'll just write plain, will I?
130
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:49,940
No onions, no cucumber. One plain...
131
00:05:49,980 --> 00:05:52,780
No relish, no pickles,
no mayonnaise. No chicken.
132
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:54,540
What do you mean, no chicken?!
133
00:05:54,580 --> 00:05:58,140
Get that!
TELEPHONE RINGS
134
00:05:58,180 --> 00:06:00,940
It's a chicken burger!
Of course I want chicken!
135
00:06:00,980 --> 00:06:03,540
What are you? A simpleton?
136
00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:06,180
No chicken.
137
00:06:06,220 --> 00:06:08,660
It's Uncle Colm.
Well, I'm not taking it.
138
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,860
I've been stung once
already this week.
139
00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:13,660
Around 45 minutes
talking about his new shoelaces.
140
00:06:13,700 --> 00:06:15,740
Sure, I've stopped answering my
phone altogether
141
00:06:15,780 --> 00:06:17,180
for fear it's him, Mary.
142
00:06:17,220 --> 00:06:19,060
Will you take it, Da?
No chance, love.
143
00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:21,380
I mean, I know I shouldn't say
this about my own brother,
144
00:06:21,420 --> 00:06:24,220
but, by Christ, he's a boring
bastard.
145
00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:26,700
Well, is somebody going to take it
or not? Don't you be cheeky!
146
00:06:26,740 --> 00:06:29,100
Less of the cheek, you.
147
00:06:29,140 --> 00:06:31,380
How is it going, Colm?
148
00:06:31,420 --> 00:06:34,740
Would you ever think of going
cordless?
149
00:06:34,780 --> 00:06:36,740
Aye, it was freezing cold earlier,
that's true.
150
00:06:36,780 --> 00:06:39,420
Gemma Sharkey went cordless and
she's like a new woman now, Gerry.
151
00:06:39,460 --> 00:06:40,980
No, it's not as cold now.
152
00:06:41,020 --> 00:06:44,740
She can make a call from her living
room, from her kitchen,
153
00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:47,580
from her bedroom...
Look, Colm, I don't have long.
154
00:06:47,620 --> 00:06:49,260
We're sending to the chippy here.
155
00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:51,780
And the other night, right,
and this is no word of a lie,
156
00:06:51,820 --> 00:06:53,980
she rang me from the bath.
157
00:06:54,020 --> 00:06:57,060
These cordless phones are
the future. What?!
158
00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:59,140
Oh, my God.
159
00:06:59,180 --> 00:07:01,340
What's up? Our Colm
is in the Police Station.
160
00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:04,180
Last night, two gunmen
forced their way into his house,
161
00:07:04,220 --> 00:07:06,380
tied him up, stole his van.
162
00:07:06,420 --> 00:07:10,180
Dirty bastards. Oh, God love you,
you poor critter.
163
00:07:10,220 --> 00:07:12,140
You ought to come straight
round here,
164
00:07:12,180 --> 00:07:15,340
do you hear me?
Oh, of course, of course.
165
00:07:15,380 --> 00:07:17,260
Is he all right?
166
00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:20,500
He is traumatised, Gerry.
167
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:23,980
He'll take a steak and kidney pie.
168
00:07:24,020 --> 00:07:28,020
Do you think five bags
will be enough?
169
00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:35,500
Seven bags of chips,
12 chicken nuggets,
170
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:39,580
one small battered hot dog,
one plain chicken burger...
171
00:07:40,620 --> 00:07:42,380
Give me that!
172
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,540
Thank you, Fionnula. All right?
173
00:07:44,580 --> 00:07:45,860
Any joy with the trust fund?
174
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:48,860
No, according to my mam,
we're actually quite poor. Aye.
175
00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:51,780
I think we might be as well.
What's yours?
176
00:07:51,820 --> 00:07:53,100
Can I please get one fish supper
177
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,980
and one cowboy special, please,
Fionnula.
178
00:07:55,020 --> 00:07:57,300
Thank you, please.
It'll be ready when it's ready.
179
00:07:57,340 --> 00:07:59,380
Well, Jenny Joyce was talking
through her fat hole
180
00:07:59,420 --> 00:08:00,820
about this trust fund thing.
181
00:08:00,860 --> 00:08:03,460
What's yours? Don't rush me,
Fionnula.
182
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:06,180
Where the fuck are we going to get
the money for Paris now?
183
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:08,620
ORLA: We could sell our organs.
184
00:08:08,660 --> 00:08:10,740
We could. We could sell our organs.
185
00:08:10,780 --> 00:08:13,300
Or, and forgive me
if this is a bit left-field,
186
00:08:13,340 --> 00:08:16,780
but could we not, you know, get
jobs? There are no jobs in Derry.
187
00:08:16,820 --> 00:08:20,700
That's all you ever hear anybody
say. So what are these?
188
00:08:20,740 --> 00:08:22,780
I never really looked at this
before.
189
00:08:22,820 --> 00:08:25,660
I just assumed they were all dead
cat posters. Missing cat posters.
190
00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:27,020
If you're an optimist.
191
00:08:27,060 --> 00:08:29,540
I'm not sure if I'd be suited to
any of these.
192
00:08:29,580 --> 00:08:32,740
You're very practical
and I'm just more creative.
193
00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:36,780
You're more of a slabber.
194
00:08:40,460 --> 00:08:43,460
Fuck's sake. I think other people
are on to this thing, girls. Oi!
195
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:45,820
I'll not ask you again! A large
cowboy, Fionnula.
196
00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:48,740
And don't be shy with the salt,
now. What about the wee limey?
197
00:08:48,780 --> 00:08:51,060
Well, dicko...?
198
00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:54,420
I'm OK, thanks. What?
I don't really want anything.
199
00:08:54,460 --> 00:08:57,340
You don't want anything? How could
you not want anything? It's lovely.
200
00:08:57,380 --> 00:09:00,300
I just don't really fancy it,
that's all. I don't understand.
201
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:03,340
CLARE: Are you not feeling well,
James?
202
00:09:03,380 --> 00:09:04,940
I don't like it! OK?
203
00:09:04,980 --> 00:09:08,500
It's too greasy, it's much,
much too greasy!
204
00:09:08,540 --> 00:09:12,540
Even the smell of it makes me
feel physically sick!
205
00:09:12,980 --> 00:09:16,260
I'm sorry you had to hear that,
Fionnula.
206
00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:19,860
You are a fucking embarrassment.
Get him out of here!
207
00:09:19,900 --> 00:09:23,900
You heard the woman.
208
00:09:25,060 --> 00:09:28,260
There was a knock at the door,
this must have been, ach,
209
00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:30,580
we're talking eight, 8:30,
210
00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:33,140
for I was halfway through my
dinner.
211
00:09:33,180 --> 00:09:37,180
And up I got to open it, and there
they both were, large as life.
212
00:09:38,740 --> 00:09:41,660
And the taller fella,
though, to be fair,
213
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:44,380
there was no more than an inch in
it... Jesus wept.
214
00:09:44,420 --> 00:09:48,260
The slightly taller fella,
he says to me, says he,
215
00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:51,220
"Do you know who we are?" How is
a body supposed to enjoy his dinner?
216
00:09:51,260 --> 00:09:54,900
And I says to him, says I,
"Well, I can't be sure now.
217
00:09:54,940 --> 00:09:57,860
"But maybe if you took off the
balaclavas..."
218
00:09:57,900 --> 00:10:01,820
And then he says to me, the slightly
taller fella does, he says,
219
00:10:01,860 --> 00:10:04,740
"Step aside, we are armed."
220
00:10:04,780 --> 00:10:07,740
And that is when the smaller fella,
although, as I say,
221
00:10:07,780 --> 00:10:09,020
we are talking an inch...
222
00:10:09,060 --> 00:10:11,700
Mammy, make it stop. ..an inch and a
half at most.
223
00:10:11,740 --> 00:10:12,940
I need a drink.
224
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:16,020
He has the bright idea of tying me
to the radiator, you see.
225
00:10:16,060 --> 00:10:18,380
And I remember saying to myself,
says I,
226
00:10:18,420 --> 00:10:22,340
"Colm, it's a good job you
have the economy seven on the timer,
227
00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:24,220
"or you'd be roasted here."
228
00:10:24,260 --> 00:10:26,620
Did you go for the economy
seven in the end, Colm?
229
00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:29,100
I thought you said the hot water
settings were a minefield?
230
00:10:29,140 --> 00:10:31,180
GERRY: For the love of God, Sarah,
no diversions.
231
00:10:31,220 --> 00:10:33,540
Aye, come on, let's pick it up.
They tied you to the heater.
232
00:10:33,580 --> 00:10:35,140
They did indeed.
233
00:10:35,180 --> 00:10:36,180
And there I am,
234
00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:39,140
shackled to the thermostatic valve
with my new shoelaces,
235
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:41,580
when one of them, the smaller
fella,
236
00:10:41,620 --> 00:10:43,780
or, hang on, maybe it was the...
237
00:10:43,820 --> 00:10:46,460
It doesn't matter, Colm.
Well, it was one of the two.
238
00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,780
He is looking
for the keys to the van.
239
00:10:48,820 --> 00:10:52,020
All ranting and raving
and getting himself all worked up,
240
00:10:52,060 --> 00:10:56,020
threatening to set fire to my good
chaise-longue and all sorts.
241
00:10:56,060 --> 00:10:59,420
By Jesus, they were absolutely
desperate to borrow thon van.
242
00:10:59,460 --> 00:11:02,820
Colm, they didn't borrow your van.
They stole your van.
243
00:11:02,860 --> 00:11:06,420
Used it to move arms across the
border. And then they blew it up.
244
00:11:06,460 --> 00:11:07,780
Aye.
245
00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:10,940
Nightmare altogether. Or diabolique,
as they say in France.
246
00:11:10,980 --> 00:11:12,580
Or you are still not going
to Paris,
247
00:11:12,620 --> 00:11:13,980
as they say in Derry.
248
00:11:14,020 --> 00:11:16,020
Ach, well, I'm delighted for you,
Colm.
249
00:11:16,060 --> 00:11:17,580
What?!
250
00:11:17,620 --> 00:11:19,460
Well, I just mean that, well,
251
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:21,980
before, he had nothing really going
for him,
252
00:11:22,020 --> 00:11:25,660
but now, well, now he is somebody.
253
00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:29,620
He is the fella that got tied
to his own radiator. Thanks, Sarah.
254
00:11:29,660 --> 00:11:32,380
We should ring the TV.
Get them to do an interview.
255
00:11:32,420 --> 00:11:33,980
When Shauna Sharkey was interviewed,
256
00:11:34,020 --> 00:11:37,500
do you mind the time when her
brother got hijacked?
257
00:11:37,540 --> 00:11:39,940
Well, Fionnula gave her free
chips for a month.
258
00:11:39,980 --> 00:11:42,100
You're joking? Honest to God.
259
00:11:42,140 --> 00:11:45,780
DOORBELL RINGS
I'll go!
260
00:11:45,820 --> 00:11:49,820
You will NEVER guess what
she's done this time, Erin!
261
00:11:50,220 --> 00:11:54,000
Did she nick the notice
board from the chip shop, Clare?
262
00:11:58,780 --> 00:12:00,820
♪ You're unbelievable! ♪
263
00:12:00,860 --> 00:12:03,500
Fionnula was out the back
cashing up. I sneaked in,
264
00:12:03,540 --> 00:12:06,220
yanked it off the wall
and away I went.
265
00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:08,820
I was like a thief in the night.
266
00:12:08,860 --> 00:12:11,580
You were "like" a thief in
the night?!
267
00:12:11,620 --> 00:12:14,180
You actually were
a thief in the night.
268
00:12:14,220 --> 00:12:16,620
And you stole from Fionnula,
of all people.
269
00:12:16,660 --> 00:12:19,140
I once saw her punch
a Rottweiler, Michelle.
270
00:12:19,180 --> 00:12:21,380
If she finds out about this,
she will kill you.
271
00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:22,540
Kill us.
272
00:12:22,580 --> 00:12:25,700
You are an accessory after the fact
now, my friend. God!
273
00:12:25,740 --> 00:12:28,100
Can I ask why you stole
the notice board?
274
00:12:28,140 --> 00:12:30,020
So we get first
dibs on all the jobs.
275
00:12:30,060 --> 00:12:33,780
Wouldn't it have been easier
to just remove the notices,
276
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:36,860
they're only Blu Tacked on.
277
00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:40,900
Fuck off, Dickweed! Christ, what
possessed you, Michelle? Yeah...
278
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,900
The more I talk about it
and the more I sober up,
279
00:12:43,940 --> 00:12:45,140
the less sure I am, really.
280
00:12:45,180 --> 00:12:47,620
You were drunk. Brilliant(!)
281
00:12:47,660 --> 00:12:50,140
Fuck, we are not like Jenny Joyce.
282
00:12:50,180 --> 00:12:52,660
Nobody is just going to hand us
things.
283
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:56,700
But that doesn't mean we shouldn't
have things. Come on, Clare.
284
00:12:58,620 --> 00:13:01,500
I know how much you have
dreamed of seeing the art...
285
00:13:01,540 --> 00:13:03,700
Whatever the fuck it's called.
286
00:13:03,740 --> 00:13:06,820
James, I know how much you want
to practise the shit
287
00:13:06,860 --> 00:13:09,660
out of the past participle.
288
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:13,700
Orla, you really really
buzz off those Renault Clio ads.
289
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:18,460
And you, Erin, well, you are just
riding Charlene Kasvanasgh.
290
00:13:20,540 --> 00:13:22,380
I'm not riding her.
291
00:13:22,420 --> 00:13:25,340
I just think it might be time
I moved on friendship wise.
292
00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:29,100
You are aware you are talking
to your current friends.
293
00:13:29,140 --> 00:13:33,140
We can't give up on Paris. Let's do
this, girls. Let's make it happen.
294
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:35,420
I have never seen you so fired up.
295
00:13:35,460 --> 00:13:39,460
I will book a French lad,
so help me God!
296
00:13:41,980 --> 00:13:45,980
So, firstly we have the tutoring
and out of everyone I thought you
297
00:13:47,140 --> 00:13:49,180
might be best suited to that,
Clare, because...
298
00:13:49,220 --> 00:13:53,220
I'm the brightest. In that
conventional sort of way, I suppose.
299
00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:56,100
There is also some baby-sitting,
the child will be in bed
300
00:13:56,140 --> 00:13:59,260
so you should just about be
able to manage that, Michelle.
301
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:02,300
Oh, thanks. You should just about be
able to manage this.
302
00:14:02,340 --> 00:14:06,340
Always the lady. There is also some
gardening, mowing a lawn, etc.
303
00:14:07,340 --> 00:14:11,340
This will require a bit of muscle
so you should take that one, Orla.
304
00:14:12,540 --> 00:14:16,300
No, I should do that one. It's
a man's job, Erin. I am a man.
305
00:14:16,340 --> 00:14:18,940
That's debatable.
Well, I am more of a man than Orla.
306
00:14:18,980 --> 00:14:22,980
I do not accept that.
Come on, Erin. Fine.
307
00:14:23,580 --> 00:14:27,540
So, that leaves dog walking and
washing a car. Is it a Renault Clio?
308
00:14:27,580 --> 00:14:31,580
No. I'll take the dogs. OK.
309
00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:38,740
Let's go to work.
310
00:14:46,340 --> 00:14:50,340
# Looking back on a track
for a little green bag
311
00:14:50,820 --> 00:14:54,820
# I gotta find, just a kind,
I'm losing my mind
312
00:14:54,940 --> 00:14:58,940
♪ Out of sight in the night,
out of sight in the day... ♪
313
00:15:00,220 --> 00:15:04,220
You thieving wee fuckers!
314
00:15:09,740 --> 00:15:10,700
How did you find out?
315
00:15:10,740 --> 00:15:13,820
It doesn't matter how she found out,
Michelle, that's not important.
316
00:15:13,860 --> 00:15:17,100
What's important is the fact we are
all deeply... Her mother rang me.
317
00:15:17,140 --> 00:15:21,140
You told your ma? OK, I cracked.
I couldn't handle it and I cracked.
318
00:15:23,060 --> 00:15:27,060
For fuck sake, Clare. Enough! Where
do we go from here? You're family.
319
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:33,660
Well, you are good people.
Well, you are decent people.
320
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:36,820
But I have to set an example.
No, dear God, no.
321
00:15:36,860 --> 00:15:39,940
You're not talking about a ban?
322
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:42,820
Let's call it a suspension.
I'm sorry, Mary.
323
00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:46,860
Ach, Fionnula, what about you?
I thought I could smell vinegar.
324
00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:50,900
I am just on my way to meet our
Colm here. I'm a nervous wreck.
325
00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:55,660
We are doing this interview for UTV.
I'm going to be on UTV, Fionnula.
326
00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:59,740
Save your breath, Sarah.
There'll be no free chips.
327
00:15:59,780 --> 00:16:01,420
There will be no chips full stop.
328
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:05,180
Excuse me? What do you expect me
to do on a Friday Fionnula, cook?
329
00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:08,940
You expect me to cook? You could
order a pizza. Pizza's not as nice.
330
00:16:08,980 --> 00:16:12,940
No, you are right, Orla.
Pizza is not as nice.
331
00:16:12,980 --> 00:16:16,300
Maybe you should all have
thought about that.
332
00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:20,340
Is there nothing we can do?
333
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:24,100
So, not only are we not going
to Paris, we are
334
00:16:24,140 --> 00:16:26,980
spending our Sunday scrubbing
Fionnula's fish hall for free.
335
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:29,420
Aye, and she will be back from yoga
soon so get a shift on.
336
00:16:29,460 --> 00:16:33,300
It is slave labour, Erin.
It is worse than slave labour.
337
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:36,700
We're not even getting paid. Look,
mammy had to cut some sort of deal.
338
00:16:36,740 --> 00:16:40,740
Would living without fried food
really be so bad? Yes!
339
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,700
She wouldn't have actually banned
it, she was bluffing.
340
00:16:43,740 --> 00:16:46,820
She is not bluffing, Michelle.
Didn't she ban the McGuigan twins?
341
00:16:46,860 --> 00:16:50,220
Seriously? Sure,
that's why they lost all the weight.
342
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:54,260
Right, girls. No dicking about.
343
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:58,580
We need to leave this place
fucking spotless.
344
00:16:58,620 --> 00:17:00,420
# We are young
345
00:17:00,460 --> 00:17:01,860
# We run green
346
00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:04,900
# Keep our teeth nice and clean
347
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:08,140
# See our friends,
see the sights
348
00:17:08,180 --> 00:17:11,660
# Feel all right
349
00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:14,540
# We wake up, we go out
350
00:17:14,580 --> 00:17:17,180
# Smoke a fag, put it out
351
00:17:17,220 --> 00:17:20,500
# See our friends, see the sights
352
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:24,540
# Feel all right
353
00:17:25,380 --> 00:17:28,220
# Are we like you?
354
00:17:28,260 --> 00:17:30,740
# I can't be sure
355
00:17:30,780 --> 00:17:34,780
♪ Of the scene, as she turns... ♪
356
00:17:35,940 --> 00:17:39,940
Fuck this.
357
00:17:47,420 --> 00:17:50,460
It's... Still sticky.
358
00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:54,500
How is it still sticky?
359
00:17:54,580 --> 00:17:58,580
Is it worse than when we started?
360
00:17:59,020 --> 00:18:03,020
I think it might be, yeah.
Great. Oh, I see.
361
00:18:03,940 --> 00:18:07,940
Yeah, this isn't Windolene.
This is...
362
00:18:08,540 --> 00:18:10,700
This is mayonnaise.
363
00:18:10,740 --> 00:18:12,660
Great work, folks.
364
00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:16,380
Absolutely brilliant.
Well done, everyone.
365
00:18:16,420 --> 00:18:20,300
It's has been a productive morning.
366
00:18:20,340 --> 00:18:22,700
Fionnula will be absolutely
thrilled.
367
00:18:22,740 --> 00:18:26,740
MUSIC BLARES FROM OVERHEAD
368
00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:49,020
All right?
369
00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:52,620
Boo! Where did you get all this?
Fionnula's cupboard.
370
00:18:52,660 --> 00:18:54,500
I think she might have
a bit of a problem.
371
00:18:54,540 --> 00:18:57,300
You think Fionnula
might have a bit of a problem?
372
00:18:57,340 --> 00:18:59,940
Put it away
and get back downstairs now.
373
00:18:59,980 --> 00:19:02,300
Sit yourself down and have a wee
drink. No, Michelle, it's wrong.
374
00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:03,780
So are those ski pants, Clare,
375
00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:06,540
but that didn't stop you pulling
them over your hole this morning.
376
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:10,580
Wait for it.
377
00:19:10,860 --> 00:19:14,860
Michelle! Don't be such
a shower of bore bags.
378
00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:18,580
Slainte, motherfuckers!
379
00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:22,620
No, no, no. Fuck, fuck, fuck!
380
00:19:32,260 --> 00:19:34,180
Why are you throwing alcohol on it,
381
00:19:34,220 --> 00:19:36,100
are you actually throwing
alcohol on it?
382
00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:40,140
What on earth are you doing?
Seasoning it?!
383
00:19:59,380 --> 00:20:03,380
Wow. On a scale of 1 to 10,
how dead do you think we are?
384
00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:14,100
This is the truth, Mummy.
385
00:20:14,140 --> 00:20:17,380
Erin, if you expect me to believe
that Michelle tripped while carrying
386
00:20:17,420 --> 00:20:21,420
a scented candle, you must think
I came up the Foyle in a bubble.
387
00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:26,620
It is my bet, it's my bet.
What are we going to do?
388
00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:30,660
For God's sake, Mary, would you
look? You're missing my big moment.
389
00:20:31,300 --> 00:20:35,300
Two gunmen of roughly the same
height kicked his door down
390
00:20:35,340 --> 00:20:39,100
and tied him to the radiator
with his own shoelaces.
391
00:20:39,140 --> 00:20:42,700
He barely had those shoelaces
a week, John.
392
00:20:42,740 --> 00:20:45,820
They threatened him
with physical violence,
393
00:20:45,860 --> 00:20:49,860
they threatened to
burn his house down...
394
00:20:58,380 --> 00:21:02,380
Why would two gunmen break into
a chippy? Ow! That really hurt.
395
00:21:03,540 --> 00:21:07,140
You're such a pussy. What were
they looking for? Chips. Obviously.
396
00:21:07,180 --> 00:21:09,740
They were looking for the keys
to the van, keep up, Erin.
397
00:21:09,780 --> 00:21:12,260
Do you think we should knock them
about a bit?
398
00:21:12,300 --> 00:21:16,300
No. Nothing drastic,
just a few slaps. I said no, Sarah.
399
00:21:16,700 --> 00:21:20,220
What, not even the wee gay fella?
I'm not gay.
400
00:21:20,260 --> 00:21:21,780
OK, that should do it.
401
00:21:21,820 --> 00:21:22,940
Really?
402
00:21:22,980 --> 00:21:25,020
I hate to be a health
and safety stickler
403
00:21:25,060 --> 00:21:28,220
but surely you are not planning
on leaving us like this, are you?
404
00:21:28,260 --> 00:21:30,340
DOOR CLOSES
405
00:21:30,380 --> 00:21:34,380
Back door, back door!
406
00:21:52,700 --> 00:21:56,700
It's locked!
407
00:22:00,580 --> 00:22:04,580
What the fuck is going on here
exactly? OK. All right.
408
00:22:08,020 --> 00:22:11,340
Well, what happened was...
409
00:22:11,380 --> 00:22:15,380
Michelle was carrying a scented
candle.
410
00:22:17,820 --> 00:22:21,820
It's just not as nice.
411
00:22:24,620 --> 00:22:26,780
# No, you're never gonna get it
412
00:22:26,820 --> 00:22:29,460
# Never ever gonna get it
(no, not this time)
413
00:22:29,500 --> 00:22:32,100
# No, you're never gonna get it
(my love)
414
00:22:32,140 --> 00:22:34,260
# Never ever gonna get it
415
00:22:34,300 --> 00:22:36,580
# No, you're never gonna get it
416
00:22:36,620 --> 00:22:39,500
# Never ever gonna get it
(not this time)
417
00:22:39,540 --> 00:22:47,500
# No, you're never gonna get it...
#
33972
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