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Going down south, I'm going to have my
first time.
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Going down south, I'm going to leave my
woes behind.
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And on the south, I'm going to see if I
can unwind.
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Okay,
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children,
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let's take our seats.
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We have a new student joining us today
who has just moved here from Utah.
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I want you all to say hi to Gary.
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Hello, everybody.
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It's really great to meet you all.
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Gary was state champion in wrestling and
in tennis.
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He also maintained a 4 .0 grade point
average at his old school and has been
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two national commercials for toothpaste.
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I'm really excited to live in this town
and share all kinds of great experiences
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with you, my new friends.
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Oh, dude, what a little asshole. Yeah,
screw that kid.
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All right, Gary, why don't you take that
empty seat and we'll get started with
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the lesson.
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Hey, my name's Gary.
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Hi, my name's Yura.
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Yura, fag.
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That's funny. You're cool, man.
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Okay, now who can tell me what year the
first astronauts landed on the moon?
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Oh, oh, oh, 1969.
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Very good, Gary.
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Wow, looks like I don't have a class
full of retards anymore, doesn't it,
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children?
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Dude, that new kid is such a douche.
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Yeah, somebody needs to put him in his
place.
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He's a pecker face, that's what he is.
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Go kick his ass, Stan.
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Yeah, go kick his ass.
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Well, maybe he won't fight.
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Will he bleed? That's all we care about.
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Come on, dude, somebody needs to wipe
that fucking smirk off his face.
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Yeah, little bitch.
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All right, I'm gonna go kick his ass.
Yeah, go Stan, go Stan!
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All right, I got five bucks on the other
kid. Who wants it?
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Oh, hey there. You want to kick the ball
around with me?
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No, I'm going to kick your ass.
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Excuse me?
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I'm going to kick your ass, bitch.
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How come you want to fight me?
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Oh, I get it.
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I'm the new kid.
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Yeah, I guess maybe I deserve it.
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Huh? It's really tough being in a
totally new place, but I think all you
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are really cool, so I understand if
there's initiation rights.
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Dude, stop it.
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Let him have it, Stan. Shut up, Butters.
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The other kids are watching.
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Look, do what you gotta do. I won't
fight back.
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I just hope that maybe afterwards we can
try to be friends someday.
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What are they doing?
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They're just standing there talking.
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What happened?
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I'm going over to his house for dinner
tonight.
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What? How did that happen?
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He's a really nice kid.
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You were supposed to kick his ass, not
lick his butthole.
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You're having dinner with his family?
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What kind of family has a kid like that?
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Okay, my turn.
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Ooh, five.
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One, two, three, four, five. Oh, lost
your mortgage. Pay $10 ,000.
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Oh, no.
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Hey, it's Gary.
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Gary. Great to see you. How are you?
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Hey, everybody, this is my new friend
Stan.
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Stan, this is my mom and dad.
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Hi, Stan.
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It's so nice to meet you.
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And this is my brother Mark. Hi.
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My sister Jenny. Hey. My little brother
Dave. Hi.
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And my baby sister, Amanda.
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Hello, Stan.
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Well, it's great you could join us for
family home evening, Stan.
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What's that?
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That's when we don't allow any TV and
just entertain each other with music and
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stories. Doesn't your family ever do
that?
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No. Hey, kids, why don't you grab your
instruments and play a song for Stan?
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All right. Let's do it.
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Hey, yeah, yeah, I love my family.
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My family is the best.
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If you ever have to...
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Oh, boy, who is the best mom in the
world? All right, go, Dave.
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We'll be your guides now, your gambles,
your songs.
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That's a great story, Sarah.
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All right, kids, now how about we do
some scripture readings from the Book of
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Mormon? All right.
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Book of Mormon? What's that?
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You know, the book that Joseph Smith
found. Who's Joseph Smith?
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Only the most important person in the
world. You never heard of him? No.
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Tell us the story of Joseph Smith again,
Dad.
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Yeah, Dad.
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All right, you rascals. Gather round.
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Joseph Smith lived in a little American
town in the early 1800s.
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Joseph Smith was called a prophet.
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He started the Mormon religion.
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Dum -dum -dum -dum -dum.
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There goes that kooky Joseph Smith. You
know, he claims he spoke with God and
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Jesus. Well, how do you know he didn't?
Dum -dum -dum -dum -dum.
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Joseph Smith was called a prophet. Hey,
Joseph, I told my wife that you spoke
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with God and Jesus, and she didn't
believe it. Well, it's true. I did.
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I was out in the woods, praying.
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I was asking God.
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If I should be a Protestant, or a
Catholic, or what? And suddenly, God and
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appeared before me. And they said I
should start my own church. Because none
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the others had it right.
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And that's exactly how it happened.
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You see? You believe it now?
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Well, yeah, sure. Why would he make that
up?
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Dum -dum -dum -dum -dum.
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Many people believe Joseph. Dum -dum
-dum -dum -dum.
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And that night he saw an angel. Dum -dum
-dum -dum -dum.
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And please, Mother and Father, and
please keep our bellies full of yum
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luscious goodies.
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Hi!
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Oh, my gosh!
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I am Moroni. I am a Native American.
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A Native American?
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But your skin is white.
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Yes. Long ago, all Native Americans were
white. We all came to America from
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Jerusalem. And while we were here, we
were visited by Christ.
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Jesus lived here in America?
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Yes, eventually my people were all
killed by the other tribe of Israel. And
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punishment, God turned their skin red.
These are the Native Americans you know
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today.
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There is an ancient book buried near
here, written on gold plates that
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my people's lives.
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Also buried with the book are two seer
stones, the Urim and the Mim, which will
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allow you to translate the writings.
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Find it and fulfill your destiny.
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Wow. Dum -dum -dum -dum -dum.
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Joseph Smith was all the profit. Dum
-dum -dum -dum -dum.
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And we all know what happened then,
don't we?
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Yeah, I know. What happened then?
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Ooh, the Rice Krispie Squares are done.
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Rice Krispie Squares!
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Hey,
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gang, let's wrap some more of them up in
plastic wrap and hand them out to the
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poor. I can't wait.
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You coming, Stan?
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No, I was supposed to be home at 8. Aw.
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Well, it was really nice meeting you,
Stan.
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Bye, Stan.
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It was great to meet you. Bye.
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Hello?
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Oh, hi, Stan.
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Hey, Dad, how come you never told me
about Joseph Smith?
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Who? Chuck, turn! We're watching
Friends!
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The guy who spoke to God and Jesus.
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Well, Stan, God and Jesus don't actually
speak to people.
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That's not what the Harrisons said.
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Who are the Harrisons?
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The new people that moved in down the
street. Mr. Harrison said that Joseph
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Smith spoke to God and Jesus, and they
told him none of the religions were
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right. Oh, did he now?
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What are they, religious kooks? They're
not kooks. They're cool. I mean, how
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come we never have a night where we
don't watch any TV and we just do stuff
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together and eat and drink? We have
that, Stan. It's called Friday Night
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But that's just you and your friends.
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Shut up, turd!
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Mr. Harrison said that I need to be
following Heavenly Father's plan, and I
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don't even know what that is.
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All right, that does it. Where are you
going? I'm going to go have a talk with
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this Mr. Harrison.
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If he thinks he can fill my son's head
with wacko religious crap, he's wrong.
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Randy, don't cause trouble.
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Let me handle this, Sharon. You got to
put these cult people in their place or
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else they never stop.
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I'm going to go kick this Mr.
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Harrison's ass.
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Mr. Harrison is a white guy, right?
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Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to kick his ass.
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Goddamn religious kooks. Tell my son
what to believe, will you? We'll see how
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you like my fist in your ass.
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Hello!
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Yeah, are you Mr. Harrison?
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I sure am. The name's Gary.
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Well, look, my kid was just over at your
house and he, uh... Oh, you're Stan's
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dad! It's so nice to finally meet you!
Darren!
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Mr. Marsh is here! Uh, look, I just want
to tell you that... Oh, Mr.
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Marsh, what a treat! It's so nice to
meet you!
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Well... Thanks.
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Karen just finished baking the most
amazing Rice Krispie Squares. With
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frosting. Come on out of the cold. You
gotta try one. Or six.
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I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to
have you over. I hear you're a
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geologist. That is so amazing.
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Look, I actually came over because I'm a
little concerned about some of the
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things you told my son.
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Uh -huh.
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You know, about God and stuff.
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Oh.
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Oh, boy, you think we were trying to
convert him.
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Well, I... Oh, Mr. Marsh, I am so sorry.
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We just moved here from Utah, and we're
so used to everyone being Mormon that
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we... Oh, we forget not everyone wants
to hear about it. Oh, boy, you must be
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furious. Well, no.
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00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:03,540
No, I just... You just heard your son
talking about religious ideals that
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your own, and you said, who the heck do
these people think they are?
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I'm really, truly sorry, Mr. Marsh. It
won't happen again.
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You can call me Randy.
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00:10:12,910 --> 00:10:15,950
Randy, the last thing we want is for
people to think we're pushing our
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We know there are a lot of beliefs out
there, and ours just works for us. To
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each his own, right?
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00:10:20,950 --> 00:10:21,950
Yeah.
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00:10:22,910 --> 00:10:27,090
Yeah. You know, to be honest, I've never
known any Mormons. I don't even know
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what you people believe.
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Who was this Joseph Smith guy?
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Why did he believe that Native Americans
were actually white people from
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Jerusalem? Well, because he found
ancient books they had written on gold
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right where the angel Moroni said they
would be.
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it, everybody.
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I found them. Found what?
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Another New Testament of Jesus Christ.
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Last night, a Native American angel told
me where I could find another Testament
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of Jesus Christ, so I went out to the
woods.
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I dug around all morning where the angel
had told me to look.
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Hmm. Maybe there isn't anything out
here.
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Wait a tick. What's this?
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Wow.
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Inside the stone.
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I found the magical seer stones.
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Under that, I found four gold plates
written in strange writing.
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This must be the talks that Jesus told
the Nephites.
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00:11:27,330 --> 00:11:29,630
Well, they were the most amazing things
I had ever gazed upon.
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Wolf, so where are they?
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Where are what?
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The gold plates and the seer stones.
Where are they?
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00:11:35,770 --> 00:11:40,950
Oh. Oh, well, I was not allowed to take
them. You see, after I found the plates,
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the angel Moroni appeared to me again
and said that I am not allowed to show
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plates or the seer stones to anybody.
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Because first I must translate what's
written on the plates into English, so
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can all read it.
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Dum -dum -dum -dum -dum.
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00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:55,760
Wow! That's amazing!
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He found the stones and golden plates.
Dum -dum -dum -dum -dum.
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00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,480
Even though nobody else ever saw them.
Dum -dum -dum -dum -dum.
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00:12:12,140 --> 00:12:14,360
So, how'd it go, Clubber Lang?
241
00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:16,220
You kicked Mr. Harrison's ass?
242
00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:17,670
Not exactly.
243
00:12:17,950 --> 00:12:21,030
We're having their family over for
dinner tomorrow night.
244
00:12:21,370 --> 00:12:22,670
See? That's what happened to me.
245
00:12:23,730 --> 00:12:27,590
Sharon, did you know this guy Joseph
Smith found a New Testament to the Bible
246
00:12:27,590 --> 00:12:28,590
buried here in America?
247
00:12:28,870 --> 00:12:29,950
What are you talking about?
248
00:12:30,290 --> 00:12:34,530
Well, it's just that the Harrison's are
really nice people, and you should see
249
00:12:34,530 --> 00:12:38,250
how loving and together their family is.
I think there's something to that
250
00:12:38,250 --> 00:12:40,430
religion. That's what they made me
think, too.
251
00:12:40,670 --> 00:12:44,210
All right, that does it. From now on,
our family is Mormon.
252
00:12:47,470 --> 00:12:49,410
Hey, Stan, how was your date last night
with the new kid?
253
00:12:49,610 --> 00:12:52,990
Shut up, dude. They're a nice family,
and Gary is actually really smart and
254
00:12:52,990 --> 00:12:53,990
talented.
255
00:12:54,070 --> 00:12:56,630
Uh, you guys, I think Stan's in love.
256
00:12:57,090 --> 00:13:00,130
Yeah, did you make out with him, too?
What's the big deal? Can't I have other
257
00:13:00,130 --> 00:13:01,910
friends? You guys should give Gary a
chance.
258
00:13:02,130 --> 00:13:04,810
Hey, Stan. Oh, here's Stan's little
girlfriend now.
259
00:13:05,110 --> 00:13:05,929
Hey, guys.
260
00:13:05,930 --> 00:13:08,850
Stan, I remember you said last night
that you'd lost your wallet, so I made
261
00:13:08,850 --> 00:13:09,609
a new one.
262
00:13:09,610 --> 00:13:11,990
I carved a picture of John Elway into
the leather on the front.
263
00:13:12,730 --> 00:13:13,870
Wow, you made this?
264
00:13:14,130 --> 00:13:16,430
Oh, look at them. Aren't they so cute
together?
265
00:13:17,020 --> 00:13:19,800
Hey, my family's on their way over to
the fire station to donate blood.
266
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:21,040
You want to come along?
267
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:25,420
I don't think so, Gary. I have to, uh...
Oh, here comes my family now!
268
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,080
Hey, guys!
269
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:29,100
Look,
270
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:30,640
we painted our faces!
271
00:13:32,220 --> 00:13:33,220
I'm a lion!
272
00:13:33,340 --> 00:13:34,340
I'm an alien!
273
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:37,060
Hey, just what the heck am I supposed to
be?
274
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,219
My God.
275
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:41,920
You gonna come with us to the fire
station, Stan?
276
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,180
Uh, no, I've got a lot to do.
277
00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:46,930
Well... Gary, you want to just hang out
with your friend Stan?
278
00:13:47,330 --> 00:13:50,830
Oh, well, I'd like to, but... Oh, man, I
would miss you guys so much.
279
00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:52,310
We'd miss you too, Gary.
280
00:13:52,630 --> 00:13:56,350
Oh, we'll all see each other tonight
when we go to Stan's house for dinner.
281
00:13:56,350 --> 00:13:57,530
and play with your friends, Gary.
282
00:13:57,790 --> 00:13:59,390
Yeah, have a good time, boys.
283
00:14:01,490 --> 00:14:02,490
Let's go.
284
00:14:02,890 --> 00:14:04,050
Our faces are painted.
285
00:14:07,050 --> 00:14:08,050
Wow.
286
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:09,570
So what do you guys want to do?
287
00:14:09,830 --> 00:14:12,010
Uh, that's cool. We're going to leave
you two lovebirds alone.
288
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:14,980
The three of us have to go put in some
volunteer work at the homeless shelter.
289
00:14:15,260 --> 00:14:16,900
Oh, cool. I'm going to do that tomorrow.
290
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,000
Jesus Christ.
291
00:14:22,300 --> 00:14:25,040
So, hey, I heard your dad came over last
night and he and my dad talked about
292
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:26,280
Joseph Smith. That's great.
293
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:29,640
Yeah, I had a question about that Joseph
Smith guy.
294
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,900
Sure. What happened after he found the
golden plates buried in the ground?
295
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:36,260
Well, he kept them hidden from everyone
like he was told. And then he translated
296
00:14:36,260 --> 00:14:38,280
what was written on the plates into the
Book of Mormon.
297
00:14:38,580 --> 00:14:39,580
Yeah, but how?
298
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:46,000
Dum -dum -dum -dum -dum. What's this all
about, Mr. Smith?
299
00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:48,300
Mr. Harris, can you keep a secret?
300
00:14:48,580 --> 00:14:49,700
Well, sure I can.
301
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:55,200
I have in my possession an ancient book
written on gold plates that tells of
302
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:58,420
Jesus Christ's second coming here in
America.
303
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,500
In America? Really?
304
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:04,760
That sounds kind of... Dum -dum -dum
-dum -dum.
305
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:09,520
It's true. And I'm going to translate
the plates and publish it into a book
306
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:10,580
the whole world to read.
307
00:15:11,770 --> 00:15:15,050
I know you have a lot of money, Mr.
Herod, and I'm just going to need a
308
00:15:15,050 --> 00:15:16,590
bit to pay for the publishing cost.
309
00:15:17,130 --> 00:15:20,010
I don't know. How do you expect to
translate it?
310
00:15:20,470 --> 00:15:21,470
With thee.
311
00:15:22,710 --> 00:15:27,310
Rocks? They're not rocks. They're seer
stones, given to me by an angel. With
312
00:15:27,310 --> 00:15:32,010
them, God allows me to translate the
plates into English. Flash, you take
313
00:15:32,010 --> 00:15:35,870
quill and paper and write down what I
say. Sit here. I have the golden plates
314
00:15:35,870 --> 00:15:38,670
here in this hat. I need to have them
somewhere dark so I can read this
315
00:15:38,670 --> 00:15:39,670
spiritual light.
316
00:15:39,950 --> 00:15:43,740
Really? Now, when I put the seer stones
into the hat, the ancient letters light
317
00:15:43,740 --> 00:15:46,420
up and change to English, which I can
then read to you.
318
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,000
Wow.
319
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:51,800
Oh, I'm seeing the light.
320
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:53,900
Oh, okay. Write this down.
321
00:15:54,380 --> 00:16:01,080
And so it was that Christ appeared
before
322
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,840
the Nephites.
323
00:16:03,900 --> 00:16:07,220
That's how the Book of Mormon was
written. Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum.
324
00:16:18,879 --> 00:16:22,760
One, two, three, four. Pay $1 ,000
property tag.
325
00:16:23,820 --> 00:16:26,840
Isn't this great, you guys? Our first
family home evening.
326
00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:28,540
I want to watch TV.
327
00:16:29,180 --> 00:16:32,800
We're not watching TV. We're Mormons
now, and we're having family home
328
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:36,100
Dad, did you know that that Joseph Smith
guy read the Book of Mormon out of a
329
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:40,090
hat? And? Your turn, Sharon. It's just
that the Book of Mormon says a lot of
330
00:16:40,090 --> 00:16:43,290
strange stuff, like that Adam and Eve
lived in Jackson County, Missouri.
331
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:46,790
Yes. But school taught me that the first
man and woman lived in Africa.
332
00:16:47,150 --> 00:16:49,390
Well, you can't believe everything
school tells you, Stan.
333
00:16:49,670 --> 00:16:50,670
Your turn, Shelly.
334
00:16:51,930 --> 00:16:53,410
Ooh, that must be the Harrisons.
335
00:16:55,950 --> 00:16:56,950
Hey, everybody!
336
00:16:57,390 --> 00:16:59,270
Wow, what a great house!
337
00:16:59,730 --> 00:17:02,510
You must be Mrs. Marsh. It's so nice to
meet you.
338
00:17:02,950 --> 00:17:04,190
And you must be Stan Smith.
339
00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:08,369
My brother is a stupid turd.
340
00:17:08,770 --> 00:17:09,629
Hey, Stan.
341
00:17:09,630 --> 00:17:10,630
Hey, Gary.
342
00:17:10,670 --> 00:17:14,770
Well, come on in and sit down,
everybody. You're here just in time. My
343
00:17:14,770 --> 00:17:16,550
having a little problem with our new
religion.
344
00:17:16,930 --> 00:17:18,609
Dad. Oh, really?
345
00:17:19,010 --> 00:17:22,609
Well, that's just because he hasn't
heard the best part about the Joseph
346
00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:25,730
story. The one that proves he was for
real.
347
00:17:26,010 --> 00:17:27,950
Yeah! Ooh, what's that?
348
00:17:28,250 --> 00:17:33,110
Well, you remember Martin Harris, the
rich man who wrote down what Joseph
349
00:17:33,110 --> 00:17:34,110
read out of the hat?
350
00:17:34,350 --> 00:17:38,730
Yeah. See, after he was done, he took
some of the pages of what would become
351
00:17:38,730 --> 00:17:39,910
Book of Mormon home.
352
00:17:40,670 --> 00:17:45,910
Martin went home to his wife, dum -dum
-dum -dum -dum, and showed her pages
353
00:17:45,910 --> 00:17:48,310
the Book of Mormon, dum -dum -dum -dum
-dum.
354
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:53,910
And so Joseph Smith put his head into a
hat and read to me what the golden plate
355
00:17:53,910 --> 00:17:57,050
said. I wrote it all down, and we're
going to publish it into a book.
356
00:17:58,110 --> 00:18:02,110
Martin, how do you know he isn't just
making stuff up and pretending he's
357
00:18:02,110 --> 00:18:03,310
translating off golden plates?
358
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:07,340
Lucy Harris, smirk, smirk, smirk, smirk,
smirk, smirk, smirk, smirk.
359
00:18:08,060 --> 00:18:09,480
Why would he make it up?
360
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:13,040
Martin Harris, dum -da -dum. All right,
here.
361
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:17,280
I'm going to hide these pages. If Joseph
Smith really is translating off of
362
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,120
Golden Plates, then he'll be able to do
it again.
363
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:22,660
But if Joseph Smith is making it all up,
then the new translations will be
364
00:18:22,660 --> 00:18:23,660
different from these.
365
00:18:24,140 --> 00:18:25,140
Okay, fine.
366
00:18:25,260 --> 00:18:26,720
I bet he'll have no problem.
367
00:18:27,260 --> 00:18:32,590
Lucy Harris, smirk, smirk, smirk, Martin
Harris, dum -da -dum. So Martin went on
368
00:18:32,590 --> 00:18:34,910
back to Smith, said the pages had gone
away.
369
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:39,150
Smith got mad and told Martin he needed
to go pray.
370
00:18:41,450 --> 00:18:42,450
Look,
371
00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:46,790
I'm sorry about losing the pages we
worked on, Joe, but I'm ready to write
372
00:18:46,790 --> 00:18:51,290
all down again if you translate from the
plates. I would love to, Martin, except
373
00:18:51,290 --> 00:18:55,790
I just got a vision, and the Lord said
he is very angry with me for letting you
374
00:18:55,790 --> 00:18:56,790
take those pages.
375
00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:58,170
He is?
376
00:18:58,600 --> 00:18:59,940
Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum.
377
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:04,620
Yes, he is so mad that he will never let
me translate from the plate of Lehi
378
00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:09,800
again. He said we must now translate
from the plate of Nephi. So it will be
379
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,980
same basic story, but written a little
differently.
380
00:19:13,460 --> 00:19:14,460
Wow.
381
00:19:14,740 --> 00:19:17,660
God got angry with you, then you must be
telling the truth.
382
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,720
Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum.
383
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,780
All right, Martin, let's get to work.
384
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:27,820
And that's how it happened.
385
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,700
actually know this story and they still
believe Joseph Smith was a prophet?
386
00:19:36,940 --> 00:19:39,160
Well, sure. The story proves it, doesn't
it?
387
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,060
No, it proves he did make it all up. Are
you blind?
388
00:19:42,340 --> 00:19:44,160
Well, Stan, it's all a matter of faith.
389
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:47,080
No, it's a matter of logic. If you're
going to say things that have been
390
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:49,900
wrong, like that the first man and woman
lived in Missouri and that Native
391
00:19:49,900 --> 00:19:53,200
Americans came from Jerusalem, then you
better have something to back it up. All
392
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:56,240
you've got are a bunch of stories about
some asswipe who read plates nobody ever
393
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:58,760
saw out of a hat and then couldn't do it
again when the translations were
394
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,540
hidden. Hey, Stan, don't denounce our
religion.
395
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:03,560
I don't want to be Mormon, Dad.
396
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:04,840
Me neither.
397
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,660
Hey, that's totally cool, guys. You can
believe whatever you want.
398
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,860
Yeah, it's great you have your own
beliefs.
399
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:11,320
Yeah. Oh,
400
00:20:12,740 --> 00:20:13,599
stop it.
401
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,460
That's another thing. Why do you have to
be so freaking nice all the time? It
402
00:20:16,460 --> 00:20:17,139
isn't normal.
403
00:20:17,140 --> 00:20:20,040
You just weasel people into your way of
thinking by acting like the happiest
404
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:23,020
family in the world and being so nice to
everyone that you just blindside dumb
405
00:20:23,020 --> 00:20:24,020
people like my dad.
406
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:25,680
Yeah.
407
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:34,560
Well, kids, who's up for a water balloon
fight?
408
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:36,160
Yeah!
409
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,000
Oh,
410
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,080
hey,
411
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:43,360
Stan. Where's your best buddy, Gary?
412
00:20:43,620 --> 00:20:45,020
I'm not hanging around that kid anymore.
413
00:20:45,540 --> 00:20:46,940
Oh, no, you guys broke up?
414
00:20:47,340 --> 00:20:50,420
You guys were right, okay? The new kid's
a douche. Now I just got to find a way
415
00:20:50,420 --> 00:20:51,420
to keep him away from me.
416
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:53,059
Hey, Stan.
417
00:20:53,060 --> 00:20:54,060
Oh, brother.
418
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,680
Uh -oh, the jilted lover returns.
419
00:20:56,140 --> 00:20:58,480
Listen, I just wanted to let you know
you don't have to worry about me trying
420
00:20:58,480 --> 00:20:59,480
be your friend anymore.
421
00:20:59,540 --> 00:21:00,660
I don't? Look.
422
00:21:01,050 --> 00:21:04,190
Maybe us Mormons do believe in crazy
stories that make absolutely no sense.
423
00:21:04,190 --> 00:21:07,790
maybe Joseph Smith did make it all up.
But I have a great life and a great
424
00:21:07,790 --> 00:21:11,610
family. And I have the Book of Mormon to
thank for that. The truth is, I don't
425
00:21:11,610 --> 00:21:14,970
care if Joseph Smith made it all up.
Because what the church teaches now is
426
00:21:14,970 --> 00:21:16,990
loving your family, being nice, and
helping people.
427
00:21:17,230 --> 00:21:20,710
And even though people in this town
might think that's stupid, I still
428
00:21:20,710 --> 00:21:21,609
believe in it.
429
00:21:21,610 --> 00:21:24,550
All I ever did was try to be your
friend, Stan. But you're so high and
430
00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:26,410
you couldn't look past my religion and
just be my friend back.
431
00:21:26,690 --> 00:21:27,990
You got a lot of growing up to do,
buddy.
432
00:21:28,250 --> 00:21:29,250
Suck my balls.
433
00:21:34,830 --> 00:21:36,010
That kid is cool, huh?
33792
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