Original subtitles

Hey. Pops.

Yeah? When the door is closed, it means do not come in.

You know, it would be a lot clearer if you just put up a sign or something like

that. Hey, hey, hey.

Get out.

Get out. Get out. All right, all right. I got you. I got you.

There's an old English proverb that says, too late to close the barn door

the horse is already gone.

Yeah, well, same's true when I've already entered.

As I was saying, you have no choice in the matter. Now, I want that invisible

man in this office in the next five minutes.

And as I was saying, there's no such thing as an invisible man.

Okay, we keep going over this again and again, and quite frankly, it's getting

old. Now, get him in here. Get this invisible man in here.

Sir, I don't know what he looks like.

George Bernard Shaw said that my way of joking is to tell the truth.

It's the funniest joke in the world.

I hope you two are done joking, because I think I've heard them all now. Now,

this is a matter of national security.

We need your visible agent for our operation to succeed, and that fact has

been lost on your superior.

The official has no superiors in this agency.

At this agency, no.

May I use your phone?

Yes, this is CIA Special Agent Miller. I believe he's expecting my call. Who's

his definition?

What? Yes, sir.

Did you quit hitting me?

Yes, sir. He's reacting exactly as you predicted.

Hello.

Yes, sir.

Of course, sir.

Yes, sir. I see.

And a good day to you, too, sir.

Now, where is he?

Fox?

Yes.

Hey, wait.

Was that the president you guys were talking to?

Because I'm just saying, if it was, you know, it's pretty cool.

We need to have a little talk about privacy.

Well, I think we need to have a little talk about you talking about me behind

back. No.

We need to have a little talk about your next mission.

Your country needs you.

There once was a story about a man who could turn invisible.

I thought it was only a story.

Until it happened to me.

Okay, so here's how it works. There's this stuff called quick silver that can

bend light.

Some scientist made it into a synthetic gland and that's where I came in.

See, I was facing life in prison and they were looking for a human

So, we made a deal.

They put the gland in my brain, I walked free.

The operation was a success, but that's where everything started to go wrong.

Okay. Your mission, Darien, if you choose to accept it, is going to take

in a small South American country known as Santo Ruego.

Santo Ruego now has a parliamentary government.

The prime minister is Juan Carlos Arias.

Now he's the son of Juan Arias Sr., the mastermind behind the overthrow of the

fascist government that preceded him.

When he retired, his son Juan Carlos was overwhelmingly elected to the prime

ministry. He is, without a doubt, the most popular leader the country's ever

had. I can vouch for that.

Oh, you can vouch? You're a voucher now? I suppose you know the history of the

whole place, right? Matter of fact, I do. I did a little work there at the

embassy with some of your buddies, in fact.

Yes, that's true. And, in fact, there was a discussion as to whether or not it

was prudent to let you return.

Excuse me.

Coming up in the very near future will be a very important vote in the country

of Santa Ruega.

Now, it involves a new weapon system that the small Santiago military is

to deploy on their northernmost border.

It's called Bio -X.

Bio -X is a severe threat to the security of the United States. The

intended to be a deterrent defense against its neighbors. However, with a

simple keystrokes, it can be launched at the United States.

Now, the Parliament of Santiago is deeply divided on deploying such a

weapon. In fact, their vote split into an even tie.

Therefore, the deciding vote falls on Prime Minister Arya.

Now, Prime Minister Arya is known to be a very superstitious man. You name it,

he believes in it.

Werewolves, goblins, ghosts, aliens, Bigfoot, Sasquatch, whatever.

He believes in it. And that's why it's important that we have a person of your

particular talents and abilities.

That's why we need a person with your unique talents and abilities.

What do you want me to do?

All right, great. So what do you want me to do here? We want you to pose as a

ghost and scare Prime Minister Arias into voting against the program.

Come on, seriously.

Boo, Juan Carlos, boo!

No, seriously, you're kidding.

Okay, people, let me make something clear. I never kid when it comes to

security. Now, it is of the utmost importance that we do not allow them to

deploy this weapon system in our own backyard.

Now, if any of you have any other competent suggestions short of going to

I'd be happy to hear it.

We're counting on you to use the unique talents that we've given you in order to

persuade Senor Arias to deploy the Bio -X weapon system.

Not a problem.

The plan is quite simple. Agent Hobbs and Agent Fox will be reassigned to the

.S. Embassy as special advisors.

All right.

Here's a file on the man whose ghost you're going to portray. Read it and

memorize it.

Excuse me, sir.

The implication here is that you're going to be working at the embassy with

ambassador to Hollywood. Is that correct?

Do you have a problem with that?

Yeah, you got a problem with that? No, no, I'm fine.

Is there some reason you don't want to go back there, Bobby?

Oh, uh... It's hell.

Welcome, gentlemen.

Hey,

how's it going?

I hope you enjoyed your stay here with us.

So this is your idea of hell, huh? Well, it's not just the place. It's the

people. Yeah, they seem really terrible.

Are you

calling

my daughter a liar? Well, if the shoe fits her. Get out.

Get out of this office, you little bald pile of crap.

And I don't want to see you until we start this charade. You've got an

appointment with the Prime Minister at 1500 hours.

Good. Okay.

Thank you.

Carlos. Welcome, Ambassador.

Inside, please.

Thank you.

Please have a seat for a minute.

Hola, Craig.

Bienvenidos. Hola, Juan.

Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to meet with us.

Prime Minister Harris, I'd like you to meet Mr.

Darian Fox.

Mr. Robert Hobb.

Sent by the President of the United States as special advisors.

How nice of him.

I didn't know I needed advice.

Well, no, I meant to imply that you... What area of expertise are your advisors

in? They happen to be experts... I asked them, Senor Hollywood, not you. Of

course. Well, we're... We're economic advisors, sir. The president sent us

an economic aid package that we think you'll find most favorable.

Really?

Please, sit down.

Thank you.

So, tell me about this package.

Well, it's, uh... You know, it's my, uh...

Co -advisor, we're saying the package itself is, you know, the package, it's

very favorable. The United States is prepared to offer open -ended unsecured

loans for use in the following areas.

Agriculture, industry, energy, education, and environmental protection.

Additional aid will come in the form of grants that can generate funds for

financing co -op projects.

And what does the United States want in return?

An agreement from you, sir.

Not to deploy the Bio -X weapon system.

So you know about that?

Well, very little flies under our radar, sir. Very little.

And what does the United States care if we deploy the Bio -X?

It is intended as a deterrent to invasion by our neighbors. It is not

to be a threat to the United States.

Oh, we understand that. Yeah, of course it isn't, sir. But our intelligence

shows that only a few keystrokes on the weapons could target Florida, Texas,

California.

And why would we do that?

You're our friends.

Right, exactly, which is why we're trying to offer you such generous

help. It's very generous.

I'm sorry.

What is that? I'm sorry,

I cannot accept your offer.

No money is more valuable than my country's security, and I believe Bio -X

tantamount to that security.

So, please feel free to linger and enjoy the beautiful Heliconia Gardens on the

way out to the front gate.

Right this way, please.

Thank you. You're quite welcome, Ambassador.

Looks like it's time for the Casper routine, my friend. We'll do it tonight.

Okay, I'm not a big believer in ghosts or anything supernatural for that

so I don't claim to be an expert at this.

All right,

there's this old Burmese proverb that says, a blind man is not afraid of

Now, in other words, being invisible isn't going to cut it by itself. I mean,

really scare this guy, he's got to see something.

I'm U .S. Marine Gunnery Sergeant Joslin.

Should I know you?

Yeah, you should. I was guarding the U .S. Embassy the night your father

to attack it.

I was the first one to die.

You can't make me responsible for that.

I don't agree with what my father did, or at least not how he did it.

Santo Rogo's friends with the U .S. now.

Well, I don't get it. Well, then...

Why are you deploying biological weapons in our backyard?

It is not intended against the U .S.

It is to the friends of the North. You don't know how it will be used in the

future!

I can see more than you can.

I can see ahead.

Let me explain something to you. If you vote to deploy those weapons, you're

going to join your father a lot sooner than you think.

Trust me ain't gonna be in heaven.

You understand what I'm saying?

Si.

So how are you gonna vote?

I will vote against the Bio X deployment.

Good.

I gotta tell you, I am feeling pretty good about this saving our country from

potential disaster stuff. I'm digging it. I really am. You're a regular

hero. No, seriously, you should have seen me, man. I mean, I was one scary

mother. Yeah, well, you played it way too close to the brink.

Another 15 minutes, you would have entered phase two madness. Yeah, well,

what? I did.

And frankly, I believe the world is a safer place because of it.

So you're pretty sure he's going to change his vote? Pretty sure as in

Yeah, absolutely. Let's go home. I'm ready, guys.

Let's hit it. Uh -huh.

Not until the vote.

Make sure you're as brilliant as you think. A lot could go wrong in the next

hours, my friend. It's very negative.

It is. It's negative.

Washington informs me that you're staying through the vote.

Yes, it is. Well, I've arranged sleeping quarters.

Unfortunately, it's a small embassy, so we don't have lots of guest rooms.

Ma 'am, why don't you take my daughter's room, and Agent Fox, why don't you take

the guest room? The Marines outside will show you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Sir?

Sir, is there someplace you want to meet? You can sleep in the bathtub.

Sorry, did I wake you?

I'm always awake at four o 'clock in the morning.

Foxes snore like a giant shit, so I can't get awake asleep.

So, what do you want me to do about it?

Well, as I recall, I think there are two beds in there. Oh, no, no, no, no way.

Well, I'll be a perfect gentleman. I just need some sleep. I won't get within

ten feet.

Fifteen feet.

You were going straight to heaven there, sweetheart. Let me tell you, you think

of a grump most of the time. You should see me when I'm getting sleep. Good

night, Bobby.

This is the room it happened in.

Good night.

Yeah, yeah.

I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt of that night since then.

Nightmares and fantasies, you know?

All right.

All right.

If I let you tell me what happened, do you promise me that you will shut up and

then get to sleep?

I'm sorry. Was I keeping you up? Just tell me.

Buffer. Five years ago, when I worked here a lot, here at the embassy, right?

Hallowell had this daughter, Rachel, about 19 at the time. Very pretty girl.

Lovely, lovely young lady.

She used to flirt with me all the time whenever she saw me. Happens to me a

Attractive women flirting with me whenever I'm on duty.

Anyway, one night, I'm combing the whole place, you know, for bugs.

Going door to door, I get to this room, knock on the door, there's no answer, so

I come in. Who's lying here, naked, as the day she was born?

Rachel. So I immediately run out of the room.

Somebody's coming down the hallway, so I'm dashed back in the room. I'm

I can't leave, right? So I'm looking at her, and I'm terrified. I'm scared to

death. Oh, Bobby Hobbs is scared.

So I'm begging her, please, please put some clothes on, right? She's lying

there, playing with her hair, beckoning me to her bed, you know. So I grab a

blanket to throw it on her, right? Right at that moment, who walks in the door?

Ambassador Hollywood.

Oh, dear.

That was it.

Ever since then, he has not forgiven me, and he wouldn't believe for a second

that I was not... You know... You know what I mean?

Were you?

How could you even think that? How could you even conceive that? I would never

fish off the company pier.

So is that the end of the story?

Well, yeah. All right. Super story.

Good night.

Good night, Claire.

Thank you for coming on such short notice.

Prime Minister, have you had a chance to think again about the package we

offered? Gentlemen, have you heard of a man called Gunnery Sergeant Jocelyn?

I have not. Can't say I have. I have. He was one of the Marines killed when your

father raided the American embassy.

Why do you ask? No reason.

The name came up in a conversation I was having with one of my advisors.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute. Wait a minute, sir.

Is that the only reason you summoned us here?

Ask us that question?

Yes.

So you're not going to reconsider our offer?

Gentlemen, do you believe in La Llorona?

Wait, what is that?

I heard of a song like that once. No, I have, Prime Minister. It's a legend.

My local employees believe it, but...

Honestly, I can't say I'm a believer myself.

Well, perhaps you should be.

Really? One of my guards was killed last night.

And you blame this on the doings of La Llorona? He was found in the hallway,

drowned.

His lungs were flooded.

The strange thing is, he was 200 meters from the closest body of water.

Okay,

let me get this straight. So this is La...

Yeah, perfect. And she had something to do with your decision regarding Bio -X?

As I told you before, I made my decision weeks ago.

Bio -X is very important for the defense of my country.

It is one of my first priorities.

I'm sure you'll understand that.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Enseñale la puerta. Si, señor.

Now, sir.

Who or what is this La Llorona? No, it's La Llorona, genius. La Llorona, the

destroyer of life, the woman who wails.

Well, that clears that up.

It's an old Spanish legend passed down for generations. La Llorona was a

beautiful young señorita who had two children by a wealthy married landowner.

When the landowner denied they were his kids and spurned La Llorona, she took

her babies, walked into a lake, and drowned all three.

Ever since then, the locals believed that her ghost inhabits bodies of water,

comes out to steal babies and kill men by drowning them.

Hey, Ambassador, could you excuse us here for a minute?

This is my office, sir. Yeah, and what a lovely office it is, sir. Come on,

just... One minute.

One minute. Deal. Thank you.

What's the matter with you? Marty left.

Well, I guess this La Llorona chick explains Harry's decision to vote for

-X. Does?

Yeah, doofus. Obviously, we're not the only game in town. Somebody else is

posing as a local ghost.

Evidently, a ghost that scares them out a lot more than I do.

Tú no sabes cómo me hacía falta esto.

What? Who are you?

Presento que piensas a cambiar tu foto, señor.

No.

Los hombres en los países que te rodean deben ser castigados.

Sí, señorita.

But I won't change my vote.

No!

I must be sure.

So let me show you what can happen to you if you disobey.

I don't believe in ghosts.

You know, any of that supernatural mumbo -jumbo. I mean, I'm a card -carrying

member of the Skeptic Society.

But I gotta tell you guys, I can't explain what I saw.

Oh, come on. There must be some sort of non -supernatural explanation.

Uh, for example, maybe she's concealing a small breathing tank.

Maybe she's the real deal.

Oh, real ghost. Uh -huh. What, come on, you don't really believe that, do you?

Maybe I do, maybe I don't.

No, you know you're right.

Invisible man, I got no problem with that. But a ghost, nah, not that.

Okay, okay, I got your point. Look, whoever or whatever she is, she's

the hell out of Arius. I mean, this chick's good.

You're better.

All right.

I'll go back tomorrow and nail him down.

What, tonight?

No, you do it tonight right before the boat.

It's funny, I was just about to ask you the same thing.

I am La Llorona.

I'm the ghost of Christmas past. Look, who are you, and what exactly did you

just do there? I mean, where did all that water come from?

Where did all that water come... What?

It appears that we are kindred.

Tell me, are you genetically engineered or synthetic?

Stuff just goes way over my head. How about you?

A little bit of both.

The work is exquisite.

The layers ain't too shabby, either.

I must admit, they did give me a pretty good set of lungs.

Uh -huh.

Now, who was it? Was it the Russians, or was it... The Chinese or...

Wait a minute, what's better now?

Your country has enemies you don't even know exist.

You feel the same attraction I do.

I might.

If you hadn't just tried to kill me.

Maybe it's because we're both...

Manufactured freaks.

That's not a big turn -on for me.

Oh, perhaps.

Just good old -fashioned chemistry.

But I know there are a lot of things I'd rather do to you than kill you.

Well, I got an idea. Why don't you pick one and try it? Because let me tell you

something. I sure as hell don't intend to let you kill me.

I really enjoyed the kiss.

Pity. Wait a minute. Where are you?

Look, I'm telling you, okay? She tried to shoot water in my lungs to drown me.

Did she have a pump or a container of water with her? Nothing. Nothing came

right out of her mouth. She just spewed it into your face like... That's

disgusting. How could somebody do that? She must be able to regurgitate it.

Do you have to use that word?

Or she's able to hold the water in her own lungs and bronchial tubes and then

blow it out. Wait a minute.

That's possible? Someone could do that? No.

Not for a normal human.

Well, she did say that she was engineered.

Yeah, see, you're both freaks. Match made in heaven. Okay, please, all right?

mean, that's possible. Someone could do that, right? Yes, it is possible that

she's been surgically altered. It'd be a lot of work. They'd have to increase

her lung capacity, add musculature to give her the control, alter the larynx

control backflow.

That's it, okay?

The question is who did it to her.

Yeah, well, I couldn't get that out of her.

I'm telling you guys, I'm starting to understand why Ares is so afraid of her.

Yeah, well, you better make him more afraid of you, my friend.

Yeah, I'd like to apologize in advance.

It's a pleasure not to see you again.

Yeah, I wish I could say the same. Hey, Prime Minister Arias.

You're juggling.

This is not La Llorona, right? She's an imposter. A living, human imposter.

She's just trying to influence your vote here.

Only as human as you are.

Juggling, did you say?

How can he be human if I can't even see him?

Enough with that.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God.

This is great.

Okay.

Want to play hardball?

Hey.

Like that?

Huh? All right. Did you ever see a mortal do that, senor?

I don't know any who can drown a man with a kiss either, senor.

That's a good point.

Okay. Well, I guess I'll just have to prove to you that she's mortal.

You wouldn't harm family.

Oh, really? Try me.

Hey, senor.

If she's a ghost, why is she so concerned about a gun? Huh?

Huh?

I wouldn't move if I were you.

What do you mean?

How are you going to vote?

Well, the vote was 135 for Bio -X, 136 against.

He voted against the system.

Way to go, sport.

Prime Minister Arias is a very stubborn...

Man, may I ask how you managed to sway him?

I don't know.

Guess maybe you could just say it was a freak thing.

I'm fine, Bobby, I'm fine. I just make an old friend. Oh, hold this silly

suitcase. Hey, guys, why don't you give me a second here, okay?

What?

I think I see an old friend.

An old friend? Why would an old friend of yours be here? It's a good question.

I'll be right back.

Want me to come with? No, I'd really prefer you stay right here.

You weren't leaving without saying goodbye.

No. See, I didn't... I didn't know you were going to be here, you know.

But knowing that, you know, I guess I could have hung for a week or so.

So what do you want?

You were pretty good last night.

How do you do that?

What?

Disappearing acts.

What?

Disappearing acts?

You know, I'm going to have to tell the people I work for about you.

Oh, really? Well, I guess I will have to tell the people I work for about you.

My organization is much more dangerous than your agency.

I'll know about that now, sister. It looks like we pretty much kicked your

this time, huh?

That's exactly why they're going to be paying more attention to you.

Are you threatening me?

And dirt is not the state I want you in.

Really?

So what state do you want me in?

If you're very lucky, someday you'll find out.

Hey, look, you know, I can't. I can't.

I can't just let you go. You know that, right?

How are you going to stop me?

That's another thing we both have in common. Neither of us carry guns.

Yeah, well, unfortunately, my partner does, so... You going to call him?

It's you.

Long time.

Fox!

Hey, man, we got play to catch.

Well, hello.

Hello.

Aren't you going to introduce us, Fox?

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't even get your name. Uh, Helen.

Helen, what's Helen? Helen Black.

Black, Miss Black, Hawaii, Bobby Hobbs.

This isn't the friend that... No, no, she just looked dead on like a weird...

I'm sorry again that I wasn't her.

Sure.

It's fine with me. Hobbs, let go.

Let go. Sorry.

I have to go now.

Goodbye.

Let's go. Oscar Wilde once said that sometimes it takes courage to give in to

temptation. Well, I think I'm going to work on getting my courage up.

Not one of our brighter moments.

No.

We expect more of you.

I was not prepared for what I found.

But next time, I will be.

Assuming there will be a next time. I'll make sure there is.

Don't be presumptuous.

It's not your decision to make.

No.

But it is the best way I can be deployed.

He presents a real danger.

Well, then maybe we should take him out by other means.

Trust me.

I'm the best means you've got.

Very well.

We'll be in touch.

Now, let's talk about Kazakhstan.