Original subtitles

A great 20th century philosopher named Charles Schultz once had Linus observe

that big sisters are the crabgrass on the lawn of life.

Yeah, well, I guess the same could be said of big brothers.

After our parents died, Kevin and I were raised by our aunt and uncle.

I've got you, Jerry, and your ass is going to be grass.

You're never going to catch me.

I never had enough time to get to know my brother very well.

Kevin? Kevin?

Kevin!

This is Fox.

Darian Fox?

Yeah. This is Dr. Anthony at Concord Hospital in Cold Springs.

Oh, right. Yeah. Hey, Dr. Anthony, how you been?

Well, my health is not in question here. I'm more concerned about your brother.

My brother?

Yeah, your brother Kevin.

He's been in an accident.

I think you might want to get up here.

There once was a story about a man who could turn invisible.

I thought it was only a story, until it happened to me.

Okay, so here's how it works. There's this stuff called quicksilver that can

bend life.

Some scientists made it into a synthetic gland, and that's where I came in.

See, I was facing life in prison, and they were looking for a human

So, we made a deal.

They put the gland in my brain, I walked free.

The operation was a success, but that's where everything started to go wrong.

Our problem was I had to tell lies because no one had believed the truth.

Terrible thing, family illness.

How bad is your aunt?

Actually, I haven't talked to her in over a year. Well, the doctors weren't

sure, but it definitely didn't sound very encouraging.

They never are.

That's because they don't want you to get disappointed and sue for

Medicine. Can't live without it. Can't live with it.

We rarely get requests for compassionate leave.

Yeah, I figure.

But if I told you I wanted to look for my dead brother, you'd stick me back in

the padded room.

Yeah, I'm aware of that, sir. But I just don't think I'm going to be gone very

long. Uh -huh.

Yeah, yeah.

Thank you.

You want us to go with you?

Oh, yeah. That's exactly what I need. A nut case on a nut mission.

I think so anyway, Hobbs. But look, I don't want to put you out, man.

I'll go with you. No, I'm fine. You stay here, you know. Hold on for it, all

right?

Um... If you need me to call any doctors up there... Trust me, I won't be

calling you.

Hey, trust me.

I'm calling you the second I need help.

Well, thanks.

Hey, Darian. Dr. Anthony. How you been? Good. You did not hear me say that about

the x -rays. I never heard a word.

Good. You got to get fast.

Yeah, look, Doc, I don't know if you heard about my brother. Not to worry.

fine. I got him in a room down the hall.

You sure?

I put him there myself.

No, no, I mean, you're sure that it's him? Well, hell, boy, I've known the two

of you since you moved here. He's a little older, maybe a little thinner,

it's Kevin.

Come see for yourself.

So what happened to him, anyway? He took a fall down a flight of stairs. He

banged himself up pretty good.

I checked, no concussion, but I kept them overnight just in case. Did you

him I was coming?

By the time I reached you, he was already asleep.

You can go surprise him.

Believe me, surprise isn't even going to begin to cover it. In here.

Is this the right room? Yeah.

The patient in 105, did you see him this morning? He checked himself out an hour

ago. What do you mean he checked himself?

Did he believe?

I didn't find him out. Someone sure as hell did. Your signature was on the

relief form. I'm telling you, I didn't find anything.

He must have forged your signature.

He didn't have to do that. Hey, look, did he say where he was headed?

No, but I heard him calling a cab.

Good morning.

What can I do you for?

Uh, yeah, I just, uh...

Need a little information.

You a cop?

No. Then all we got here is cabs.

Yeah, well, actually, I am a federal agent.

Fish and game.

Hmm, very impressive.

But if you look around, we got no trout, we got no moose, which means you got no

authority. Okay, look, I just, uh, all I want to know is where you took a fare

and where your cabs. Hey, let me tell you this slow.

What I got to tell you, you get.

What I don't got, you don't get.

Get it? Got it. Good.

Is there anything else?

No, I think that about covers it. Thank you.

Have a nice day.

And give us a call if you ever need a cab.

Yeah, I'll definitely do that.

Barley Cab.

13th and M?

It's fine, man. We'll have someone there in five minutes.

Hey, Zip. Yeah? We've got a beer for you at 13th and M. Oh, I'll get right on

it.

Oh, Brian, I need your help. What the hell for?

Got a flat tire.

So take the other cab.

It's flat, too.

You're crying out loud.

Anthelion?

Hey, it's Darian.

Darian. Hey.

She was psyched for so long.

Why didn't you tell me you were coming?

Oh, well, actually, the whole thing was kind of sudden.

So, you're out.

Out? From prison.

Oh. I don't have to hear any of the details.

Just that you're okay.

Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine, Aunt Celia. All right. Then that's enough about

You want to move away from the window? I can't see your face.

Yeah, absolutely.

Your brother was standing there no more than five minutes ago.

So he was here?

Yes. He came in right after my nap.

Such a nice surprise.

We just went down to get a soda. She'd be back any minute. I thought the two of

you had come here together.

Aunt Celia, you saw him, right? I mean, you're sure that it was him?

Absolutely. He stood right there.

How long ago did you say he left?

Just before you got here.

Hey, Kevin!

Yeah!

What the hell are you planning on charging me with?

Excessive jaywalking. That's very cute. You going to be here all week?

Uh -huh.

So are you.

What's with this?

Well, I am a federal agent.

Oh, cool.

I've never rested at Fed before.

Hey, Trent.

I'm going to need some more coffee. Right away.

Fox.

Pizza.

Pete, what's up?

You're the sheriff.

Doesn't that beat everything all to hell? Yeah.

How's it going, man?

Fox was the only competition I had for class screw -up. Oh, yeah? Well, I think

he just nosed you out for first place.

He managed to cause an accident to my cruiser that smashed it up pretty bad.

Yeah, that sounds about right. You know what he used to do for fun? Hey, come

on. Ram into the back of cop cars just to pop the airplane.

Those were some good times. Tell me about it, man. They were. Hey, look,

can explain this whole thing over a cup of beers. Oh, no, I can't wait.

Oh, great.

We'll do it right after you hear it.

My what?

Hey, man, it's really good to see you, but the job comes first, you know?

Well, I didn't.

I guess I'm learning.

Oh, uh, Fran, put him in the back cell.

Hey,

come on. I don't want anybody to think I'm getting any kind of preferential

treatment here. Yeah, screw him. What are friends for?

Oh, you want to use the phone to call your brother?

Wait a minute.

You saw Kevin? Yeah, yesterday. Saw him at the library.

That sounds about right. Did he tell you where he was staying?

No. Why don't you use the phone? Call your old house. Your aunt hasn't sold it

yet. Amen.

Really cool hair.

Hey, yourself.

I missed dinner?

Nope.

Not bad luck.

I'm Martin.

Fox.

I think I'm still drunk.

Yeah, that'd be the way I'd bet.

I gotta get some food.

Yeah, maybe a little coffee too, huh?

Hey, Strand.

Where the hell is dinner?

It's on the way. Well, hurry it up. We're getting hungry in here.

Where is he?

I don't know. He was here and then he wasn't.

What are you talking about?

Well, he just disappeared.

He was here and now he's not.

Martin, you've got to give serious consideration and go on the wagon.

See? How the hell did you get here?

The computer kicked out your name and you got arrested, and the official told

to come up here and find out what the hell's going on.

So what the hell's going on, Fox?

I can't tell you. Don't start with that, all right? I can't tell you a thing.

Listen, I saved your life, you saved my life. I know about, you know, your

spider hang -ups. You know about my ex -wife. We tell each other everything.

Where do you come up with this stuff?

What stuff?

This whole Hobbesian mindset that essentially just sort of justifies

in your favor. I'm not justifying anything.

Yeah, you are. No, I'm not.

You're just trying to distract my mind from my original question. I have an

original question, you try to distract me from it. You do that.

Distract you? That's right. You try to deflect my mind and I have an original

point in... Which is?

Which is... Just give me a minute.

It's not a very kind thing to do with someone with attention deficit disorder.

What? Just... Ah!

What the hell's going on? That's the original question, Paul. Oh.

Right. Right.

Kevin.

Kevin? Yeah, my brother.

He's dead.

Yeah, I know. He's here.

What do you mean he's here?

I saw him.

Oh, crap.

That meant exactly.

Yeah, so I looked up, and he's standing right there in the doorway.

Who? Him. You think?

No, I thought. You're out of your mind.

What are you talking about?

You think you saw him?

I thought.

You didn't see.

What else can you do?

I mean, the guy's dead, you know.

Well, I saw him.

You all right?

Yeah.

It's been a long time, you know.

Hey, check this out. It used to be my room.

It's like she never changed anything.

Looks like a shrine of bad taste.

Spider -Man.

This place is like a road map to your psyche, huh?

The only thing missing is a Playboy sign, of course.

Oh, there she is.

Typical. Would you mind?

It's something very personal.

I didn't ask for the toy.

Come on.

You're crashing in Kevin's bedroom. Let's go.

Okay, just hang out in here for a while, okay?

Right in here, okay? I'll be right back.

And make yourself comfortable. I'm gonna go grab you a towel.

Folks.

What?

What's up?

Is this where you say someone's been sleeping in my bed?

Bologna peanut butter.

It's awful.

Kevin loves it.

I'm gonna go check out the basement.

Like a tornado came through here.

What the hell was he looking for, huh?

You didn't think it was Kevin, right? Yeah, who else?

You know, my uncle, he was a research doctor.

Hey, Kevin, you can spend hours down here.

Actually, it's where Kevin first started doing research.

Yeah, well, you were out stealing hubcaps, baseball cards.

Everybody's got to have a hobby, right?

Got any idea what he was looking for?

Nope.

I don't get it. Kevin knew this place like the back of his hand. You know,

Uncle Peter kept his records, his data.

I mean, he should have been able to walk in here and go to any file he wanted

to. Assuming that's what he was here for.

What's that?

It's my article with Dr. Anthony.

Wait a minute, is that who I think it is? Mm -hmm.

Fat man. Before he was fat.

Wait a minute, what is my uncle doing with the official?

I'm afraid you don't understand the relationship I had with your uncle. Oh,

know that he considered you his best friend. I was.

But we weren't colleagues.

Come on. You guys are in the same line of work, right? You get together, you

talk shop. Yeah, exactly. I mean, come on. He must have mentioned something

about what he was working on. Well, we didn't have that kind of relationship.

I don't buy it. Well, I'm not selling anything.

Except for maybe a line of crap.

I resent that.

Yeah?

Let me tell you what I resent, okay?

I come in here asking an old family friend for some help, and all I get is a

bunch of stonewall.

You don't know what it was like back then. Explain it to us. I can't. You

you won't. No, I mean I can't.

I have a family, and I won't see them get hurt.

Maybe somebody threatened you.

Who threatened you?

It doesn't matter.

Listen, Doc, we're federal agents, okay? We can protect you. I don't need your

protection. Mm -hmm. Yeah, as long as you keep quiet, right?

I don't need your protection.

Hey, Doc, come on.

Let me ask you something.

What did you mean when you said it was different then?

There were people who didn't understand your uncle's research, who thought he

was trying to play God.

What was he doing?

Look, it wasn't your brother that I treated, all right? I made a mistake,

you should never have come here.

You're lying.

I saw him.

No, you didn't. You're lying.

You thought you did, just like I did.

Please go home for all of our six

If

you

give me a clue I can help you find what you're looking for over there leave me

if I knew I'd only be too happy to share

Maybe the doctor was telling the truth that it wasn't Kevin. Mm -mm. Somebody

got to him.

Why do you say that? Hey, you tell me, huh?

Fox, I know you want to believe he's still alive.

Mm -mm. No, I think you got that backwards, my friend.

What are you saying?

I think somebody's trying to make me believe he's dead.

See, now you're going to start talking in tongues.

Your eyes are going to roll back in your head, start twitching, freaking out. I

know how your mind works. You see, you get all crazy with this.

You don't think it's true?

I mean, think about it, Hobbs.

Kevin put the gland in, right? Yeah.

So he's the leading candidate to figure out a way to remove it.

So as long as I think he's alive, I'm on his case 24 -7 to get it out.

But if I think he's dead, where am I?

I'm stuck at the agency.

So you think the fat man staged this whole thing? What, you don't think it's

possible? Well, the man's a true master. He plays the game like nobody I've ever

seen before in my life. But this one, no. No, I think you are pulling up to

Paranoid Plaza, my friend. And for me to believe that, you gotta be nuts.

Oh, yeah? That's right.

What if I prove it?

Prove what?

What if I prove he's alive?

Put you back in, huh? Me or the official?

The fat man's been real good to me. Fine, there's a door. I can do this

But you are my partner, and that carries some weight in the situation. Me or the

official? I'm thinking about it. There's no middle ground on this one. Weighing

it out?

Bobby Hot doesn't bail on his partner. That's right.

All right, then. Give me your cell phone.

Give it in. Long distance.

What are you calling?

Yeah.

Calling Keep.

Hey, yeah, what do you need to run a DNA test?

How little? You mean like a single hair or something?

Oh, great.

Tell her I said hello.

No, no, I'll tell you when I see you, okay?

Could I have a little room here, please? No, I'm thinking it'd probably be a

good idea to get a few of them.

I know what I'm doing. I got crime scene experience. Excuse me. Yeah, well, so

do I, okay? I'm talking money after the fact.

Good measure.

And one right here.

Beautiful.

Ah, crap.

Let's just tell them we're federal agents. Yeah, I tried that. They don't

very impressed.

Let's just go out the back way.

Our car is in the front.

Why don't you go out there and tell them about our work in parapsychology?

Parapsychology? Have you lost your mind?

Gentlemen, we're here to arrest Arian Fox.

Arrest him?

What on earth for? Reckless endangerment, felony escape.

Forgive me, gentlemen, but did Mr. Fawkes mention our work? What we do?

Yeah, something about the birds and the bees, I think.

No, it's fish and game.

But that's just to cover our actual practice and studies in parapsychology.

Like the X -Files? That's aliens.

You mean like the thigh factor, right?

Exactly.

Only for real.

Bull. Bull.

Bull, he says.

How about a wee demonstration?

Like what?

Well...

How about I make the sign begin to swing?

Well, the car door opened.

How did you do that?

Parapsychology, my friend. Now, the wind must have blown a check. The wind, huh?

Well, then what if I make the light bar go on and off?

Or the horn honk? Is that the wind?

Is that bull, Officer Pezzetti?

Aha! Aha again.

Woo!

Oh! Yeah.

Parapsychology, gentlemen.

This is all work.

I don't think you want to keep Fox from doing it, otherwise he may decide to put

things in places you don't want them to be put.

Catch my drift.

No, no, no, that's fine. We'll just forget all about this.

Okay.

Have a good day, gentlemen.

Nice to see you, and I'll give him your regards when I see him.

You know your problem, Fox?

Yeah. I got a gland in my head that doesn't belong there. No.

You've been hanging out with Hobbes too long.

Uh, sir, paranoia is not contagious.

Actually, that's not entirely correct.

Certain studies at Berkeley... Shut up, Ebert. Yes, sir. You sure you have a

match?

I'm afraid so.

We found an old lab coat of Kevin's. They were hairs on the collar.

So you really believe your brother's still alive and we didn't tell you?

Absolutely. It was the only way you could be sure I'd stay here. You know

I'd like?

I'd like you to call my superiors and convince them that I am actually that

clever.

Probably get me a raise. I'd be more than happy to put in a good word for you

any time you need me to, sir.

Brian, there's no plot.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, well, what the hell was he doing with my uncle?

Well, I kind of got you on that one, don't I?

Your uncle was involved in research.

That was of interest to the government.

Yeah, I bet, huh?

Is that how you got your hooks into Kevin?

That's all I'm having, yes.

Wait a minute.

My uncle's research. I didn't have anything to do with this thing in my

did I?

That's where it all started, didn't it?

With what he was doing and then Kevin knew about it, huh?

Look, will you talk to me?

Boss.

Relax, huh? Calm down. Tell me the truth, fat man.

You want the truth?

Here.

The truth is your uncle's work.

helped develop the gland.

It was sketchy, it was preliminary, but it served as a guidepost for Kevin.

Wait a minute, what happened to that research?

We don't know. After Kevin died, we tried to go back and find it.

Yeah, I bet you did, so you'd be sure I'd never get this gland out of my head.

No, so that nobody else could develop the gland.

We tried to turn it up, but we couldn't.

We assumed that your uncle destroyed the documents.

But he didn't, did he?

Now Kevin's got them.

There, and Kevin hasn't got anything.

Your brother's dead.

You can't prove that.

Yes, I can.

We'll dig up the casket. Knock yourself out. It'll be empty.

I can understand why you hope that.

But it just isn't so.

I'm going to kill you to pick up a shovel and help, huh?

Maybe you would.

All the three of you are doing just fine.

I'm not sure if manual labor is part of my job description.

I never realized you were capable of sweating.

Look, wait, Robin. You guys want to keep it down? We're not, Robin.

Robin's when you take something, my friend. Oh, that's right. I forgot

expert in that field.

Who can meet out?

Who?

That's it, huh?

Let me clear it up.

Well, what a surprise, huh?

Look, we're going to get you. Kevin, look at me.

Kevin? Kevin?

So I walked up to the mind and be even.

Why'd you do it?

Why'd you let me think you were dead?

It was necessary.

Like hell it was.

Look, I don't want this conversation on the phone.

Meet me where we all used to go, you, me, and Uncle Peter.

And you're going to explain it all, right?

You have my word.

I'll cut your hair and your ass is gonna be gone! No, no, don't touch me!

Hey!

Cat, are you there?

Kevin?

Nice to see you again.

I know.

So you're not dead.

Sorry to disappoint you.

What the hell are you doing here?

Solving a minimal information problem.

You know about those?

No. Of course not.

Let me give you an example, okay? A man lives on the 14th floor of a high -rise.

And when he's in the elevator with someone, he rides up to his floor. But

he's alone, he gets off at the 10th floor and he walks up the last four

The question is,

Why? He's a midget. He can't reach the button. I'm sorry. Did you have a point?

My point is, I had a minimal information problem. Your brother told me all about

your uncle's papers and how they were instrumental in developing the gland.

problem was, he never mentioned where they were.

Well, it's your uncle that brought them here.

Oh.

So I guess you tore up the basement.

I did.

Without success. And, uh...

So I realized that they must be somewhere else, and I needed your help

finding them. Hence the ruse.

What ruse?

That your brother Kevin was still in the land of the living.

So he's dead?

Yeah.

Did you take up the body?

I guess the hair on the pillow, that was from his skull.

Wait a minute, I heard his voice.

It's just a voice digitizer.

It can make me sound like whomever I want to. All I needed was a copy of his

voice, and I got that from the tapes.

Where's the body?

Buried near the grave, you know.

Very makeshift. I would have taken more care, but that was...

Let me share something with you.

A secret.

We believe what we want to believe, and you didn't want to believe that your

brother was dead.

The rest... It's all smoke and mirrors.

Thank you.

Oh, and since you're so interested in being reunited with your brother... Drop

the gun. I'm going to unite your brain to the ceiling.

Well, I wondered when the hell you were going to get here.

You try walking through this damn woods. It's like the last reel of the Blair

Witch Project.

What is so funny?

Oh, I was just thinking of a little cartoon I saw when I was a young boy.

You know, there's a little fish being swallowed by an even larger fish who in

turn is being swallowed by an even larger fish.

It's a choice, Bob.

Me or the Petricks. You can't have both.

Think about it.

Maybe you can find a way to get that gland out.

Maybe not.

Hey, Aunt Celia.

Darian! I wasn't sure you'd be coming back.

Yeah, I know. I've been thinking about that.

You know, I'm going to start doing it on a regular basis, okay?

Good.

Next time, maybe you can bring Kevin with you.

Yeah.

Look, Aunt Celia, actually, there's something we've got to talk about.

Good shot.

Well?

Nothing? Only if I wanted to make another gland.

That's okay. I think one will do for now.

Yeah, well, I think it's better we have that information than I know.

Yeah, no, I just wish I could have both, you know?

Well, the officials said the authorities are on full alert. That ain't gonna

help. He's long gone.

Yeah.

Listen, uh, geez, I'm starved. Would you like to go get something to eat?

Uh, I can't. I, uh, I got some stuff I gotta take care of, okay?

Rain check, though, all right? Yeah. All right.

Kevin's body was where I know it said, so I got to bury my brother again.

Except it was different this time.

My anger was gone.

I wasn't really sure what had replaced it. All I knew was I missed him like

hell.

A journalist named... P .J. O 'Rourke said that as we get older, the things

which really matter are the dreadful things our parents said really mattered.

Family and work and duty.

Crap like that.

Yeah, well, I'm finding out he was right.