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OWL HOOTS
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This programme contains
some strong language
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# Majal needs the soul of a clown
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# This twisted collection
of souls lost and found
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# But there is one soul
that is yet to be found
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# That soul is the soul of a clown
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# Majal needs the soul of a clown
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# Ah, give me the soul of a... #
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Oh, shit...
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COINS CLATTER
Sorry, sorry. Oh, my God! Oh.
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Um... Sorry, I'm just... Yeah.
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# ..clown! #
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Hmm.
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# It's such a crazy, crazy feeling
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# I get weak in the knees
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# My poor old head is a-reeling
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# As I go deep into
the funnel of love
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# Here I go,
falling down, down, down
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# My mind is a blank
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# My head is spinning around
and around
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# As I go deep into
the funnel of love
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# Deep into the funnel of love. #
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Car insurance driving you mad?
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The best journeys
are worth protecting.
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Sorry... Oop...
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Whoa! Sorry I'm late.
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Apparently, you can't give
laughing gas to a six-year-old.
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OK, listen,
I wanted to have a serious chat.
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CLOWN HORN HONKS
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Sorry.
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Um...
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So I've, um... I've been doing
some thinking about my needs,
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and, basically,
this isn't just about
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you stuffing my client
into a cupboard,
35
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but I don't think that we should...
Sorry, are you seeing this?
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What?
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He's just left
a whole pizza untouched.
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OK. Some people, man...
No, no, no. What are you doing?
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Jamma! That's ๏ฟฝ15. Here you go.
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No, no, I don't...
I don't want any...
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Mmm! Well, it is delicious.
Yeah. You're welcome.
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OK, can we just stay on topic,
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because I've got to go soon
for a photo shoot.
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Photo shoot? For what?
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My book. No way! Oh, my God,
what are you wearing?
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This. That?!
47
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Why? What's wrong with it?
48
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Well, no, it's just the vibe,
isn't it? It's a bit...
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What?
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You look like someone who decants
their cereal into containers.
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I do decant cereal into containers.
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Cereal already comes in a container.
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You know what? I think we just have
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a different idea
of what a partnership is.
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No, we don't. No?
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No. Where do you see us
in ten years, Jamma?
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Mykonos. No. Malaga. No!
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Blackpool?
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I want a family...
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JAMMA CHOKES
..with someone who can
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carve a turkey or...or fix a light,
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or raise a child in a home
that we have built together.
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00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,799
I just think
turkey is quite a dry meat.
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I can't be with someone
who needs fixing.
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I don't need fixing.
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Everything you touch turns to chaos.
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That is not true.
What are you talking about?
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Is that my anchovy pizza?
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Oh, my God. Jamma,
they just went outside for a smoke.
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Um, sorry. We will
order you another pizza.
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We haven't got time.
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We've got to get to my
daughter's engagement party.
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Well, I think if we just calmly...
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Mate...
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..don't tell me to calm down.
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Er, it was just the waitress.
It's her first day, bless her.
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Which one?
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Which...
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Which bloody waitress?
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Oh...
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..that bloody one.
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Darling...?
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Are you serious?
Might as well while we can.
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Did one of these blokes
order this pizza from you?
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I ain't taken their order yet.
86
00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:51,090
Thank you.
87
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:55,010
What have you got to say
for yourselves?
88
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We could do with some chilli oil?
89
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Whoa! Fine. Oh, my God!
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That was too much.
91
00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:11,239
I know, right? God, some people
are out of control.
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Ohhhh!
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I've got a stain on my jacket.
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Oh, I'll get it... No, Jamma.
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Not everything's
a fucking clown act.
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00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,039
All right, I was just trying to...
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I'm sorry.
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SIGHS DEEPLY
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Have you got a tissue, please?
100
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,439
Yeah, I think, um...
It's a bit...
101
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Oh. Oh, shit, no.
102
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I came straight from work.
103
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CLEARS THROAT
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00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,650
I think we should stop
seeing each other.
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Wait, I love-ove you...
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You can't even say I love you.
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Ah, the clown.
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So eager to be loved,
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yet deep inside
knowing himself to be unworthy.
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Tragique, don't you think?
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00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,079
I... I don't have change, sorry.
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'Tis not I who needs change, Jamma.
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How'd you know my name?
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Your, er...name badge there.
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Mr Majal. Soul merchant.
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If you're looking for answers,
do drop by my emporium sometime.
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I swear that was a vape shop.
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No, it's not a vape shop.
119
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I had a mate who literally bought
a vape there this morning.
120
00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:36,959
No, it can't have been a vape.
It was probably an inhaler.
121
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I do remember someone quite
wheezy coming in this morning.
122
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So what exactly do you sell?
123
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Not vapes. OK. Basically.
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My card.
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A storm is coming, Jamma.
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You dropped your vape.
127
00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:05,679
Yes. I'm...looking
after it for a friend.
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00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:07,400
Right. Anyway...
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SQUAWKS
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JAMMA COUGHS
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I can still see you.
132
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This is a Banana Line train
to Gravesend.
133
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If you see something
that doesn't look right,
134
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:48,799
please talk to a member of staff.
135
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,080
See it, say it, a storm is coming.
136
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,799
Oh. Hi, Isaac.
137
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,239
Hey, my guy. It's therapy time.
138
00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,719
Ah... Sorry, Isaac, I can't today.
139
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,999
I can't make good art
until I know what my trauma is.
140
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,839
Right. Um, the thing is,
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I'm getting my photographs
taken for my book.
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Cool. What are you wearing?
143
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,959
Well, I was going to wear this,
but now I have to change.
144
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,159
Because of the vibe?
145
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,959
No, actually, because of the stain.
Sorry, what vibe?
146
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Oh. It's fine.
I'll get out of your hair.
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No, wait...
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Argh... Yeah.
Maybe I can help you...
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..if you can help me.
150
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:38,200
Grey, grey, grey, grey, grey,
tweed, herringbone.
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00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,479
Corduroy elbow patch? Really?
152
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Well?
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People are going to judge
this book by its cover.
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00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,999
OK. What...
What do you think the issue is?
155
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:52,199
I hate to break it to you,
but, um...
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..yeah, you white.
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Sorry? Inheritance tax white.
158
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Right... Whitey-white white.
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00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:01,280
I don't think I can do anything
about that. Can I...?
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00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:05,559
Yeah, no. No, no, right.
Come on, Isaac, just...
161
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:09,839
Can't you just make something, like,
super funky out of all this lot?
162
00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:13,359
I'm an artist, not a magician.
Well, what else do you need?
163
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,599
Give me 48 hours,
a Jacobean ruff and a welding torch.
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DOORBELL RINGS
Ohh!
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That's the photographer!
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Hey, that's OK. I have a plan B.
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Hi, Mum.
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What, Jamal?
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00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,999
Oh, no, just, you know...
I miss you.
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I'm booked and busy.
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00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,519
Yeah. Yeah, no, I know.
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00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:50,319
I just, um, wondered
if I could come home,
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maybe stay in my old room.
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00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,319
I'm using it for my bodily needs.
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00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,039
Please stop calling it bodily needs.
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Fine. Sex.
177
00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:00,399
No! Bodily needs is good, actually.
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Ma, please.
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00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,560
Guy doesn't want to see me any more.
180
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I feel really alone.
181
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,519
Would it help if I tell you,
182
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:12,319
when you were a child
you were quite unlovable?
183
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:13,399
No, it wouldn't.
184
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:16,000
Stop feeling sad, Jamal.
This is not who you are.
185
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,079
What if I don't like who I am?
186
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Then change.
187
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:26,999
And if you want to mention about
my bodily needs to your dad,
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you have my permission.
189
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,640
Why would I do that...?
190
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SHOP BELL RINGS
191
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:13,240
DOOR CREAKS
192
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,680
Hello?
193
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:37,000
DOOR SLAMS AND LOCKS
194
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:39,520
Hello?
195
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,080
Have you ever run away
with a travelling show?
196
00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,599
Uh, no, but I used
to work in marketing.
197
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,999
Oh, what I wouldn't do
198
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:07,079
to revive my glorious troupe
of freaks.
199
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:08,399
You see, boy,
200
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:12,240
everyone has their part to play
in the circus of life.
201
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:17,080
The strongman - uuugh - he lifts.
202
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,839
The bullfighter - flaunts.
203
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:23,480
Ahhhh!
204
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,319
The stilts...
205
00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:28,880
..they complicate
my risk assessment.
206
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,640
And the clown...
207
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,039
CHUCKLES
208
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:38,520
Oh, the clown has no skill
but his own stupidity.
209
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:43,239
I can unburden you from yourself.
210
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:46,159
From this ridiculous costume.
211
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,839
That's just my actual clothes.
212
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,599
This helmet of regret.
213
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:51,719
All right, bit harsh.
214
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:53,279
The yurt of horror.
215
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,239
OK, well, this is who I am. Ah!
216
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:59,239
But is this who your guy
wants to be with?
217
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,599
How'd you know his name?
218
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,839
I don't. Right.
219
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:07,079
Wait a minute.
Is your guy actually called Guy?
220
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:09,399
Yeah, he is, yeah. Oh!
It's confusing...
221
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,479
Behold!
222
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,040
Your future.
223
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,039
In you go.
224
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,599
CHILD GIGGLING
225
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,000
Go on.
226
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,639
Isabella? Yes, Daddy?
227
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,559
Oh, hello.
My little tornado of energy.
228
00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:35,079
Woo-woo!
Should we give Papa his gift?
229
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,240
Yeah. Yeah?
230
00:12:37,091 --> 00:12:42,599
Hope everyone's hungry.
That looks absolutely delicious.
231
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,639
Oh, stop it! So, we have got
you a little gift, haven't we?
232
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,319
Oh, you shouldn't have.
233
00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,319
I hope it's not too boring.
234
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:53,799
Hey, boring is just another word
for reliable and consistent.
235
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,119
Aww.
236
00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:57,759
Hell of a view.
237
00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,120
Hell of a view, too.
238
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,359
Hell of a view?!
239
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:03,959
That's our thing.
240
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:05,040
Nigel, baby...
241
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,320
..I think that lamp's blinking.
242
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,799
Guy, it's me.
243
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:14,639
Guy?
244
00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:17,039
It's Jamma.
245
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:19,119
Hell of a view!
246
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:20,959
Guy, what do... No! Hell of a...
247
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,240
JAMMA'S VOICE IS SILENCED
248
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,319
Right, that's fixed.
249
00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:31,039
DISTANTLY ECHOING: Hell of a view!
Hell of a view!
250
00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:33,360
Hell of a vi-i-iew!
251
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:39,119
I don't want to be the lamp.
252
00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:42,119
Then who do you want to be?
253
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:43,879
The kid.
254
00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:45,839
You what? I want to be the kid.
255
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,359
You can't be the kid.
Why not? Cos the kid's the kid.
256
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,599
Yeah, but she got all the attention.
257
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,239
You're already a kid.
That's the problem.
258
00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:52,319
I thought I was the lamp!
259
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:53,600
SIGHS SCORNFULLY
260
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:00,640
I want to be Nigel!
261
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:07,519
Then Nigel you shall be.
262
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,240
THUNDERCLAP
263
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,440
SHOP BELL RINGS
Excuse me. Do you sell vapes?
264
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,000
God's sake!
265
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:28,519
Go on, then. What you after?
266
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,450
Triple mango.
MOCKING: Triple mango!
267
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,439
Isaac, I'm not sure this works.
268
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,599
They're my clothes,
of course they'll work.
269
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,359
Just come on out. You'll look great.
270
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:40,880
DOOR OPENS
271
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,439
How do you look even whiter?
272
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,199
Great. I make even
your clothes look bad.
273
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:49,959
No, no, no,
we can still make this work.
274
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,119
What's the demographic
for your book?
275
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,599
I don't know, it's like
40s and sophisticated...
276
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:57,599
Rich, entitled...
No, self-improvement enthusiasts.
277
00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:00,239
People with wine cellars
having a midlife crisis.
278
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,079
No, we call it a life pivot now.
279
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:03,999
That's a weird thing
to call a wine cellar.
280
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,999
Right. Isaac...I just don't want
to look like a cliche therapist.
281
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,999
That's it. Which is exactly
what a cliche therapist would say.
282
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:13,239
In order to not be
a cliche therapist,
283
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:16,519
you need to lean even more
into being a cliche therapist.
284
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:17,999
Ready?
285
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,639
Um... Yeah, we're ready.
286
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:22,359
At this rate, I'll be a tortured
artist in no time.
287
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:23,720
Oh, no.
288
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:30,040
Right.
289
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,840
THUNDER CRASHES
290
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:40,880
Cheers.
291
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:44,799
Ooh!
292
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:46,919
Hoo! Ha! Ah!
293
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:48,239
Jesus!
294
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:51,159
Wiggle your feet out, so
you're standing a bit wider.
295
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,959
Now you own land.
296
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,279
Chin down. What are you doing
with your chin?
297
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:56,999
Chin down with the attitude
of chin up,
298
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,559
but just look comfortable.
You got it.
299
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,559
Sorry, are we sure about the wine?
No, it's great! It's aspirational.
300
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:04,559
You know what? Offer us the wine.
We want some of this.
301
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:06,319
Yeah, you can have this
lifestyle too.
302
00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:07,679
Yeah. Get this, get this.
303
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,159
Hey. Is this a good time
to talk about my trauma?
304
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:11,519
Great.
305
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:13,999
It's a bit cold.
Don't be such a baby!
306
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,040
Eee... Ooh!
307
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:20,999
THUNDER CRASHES
308
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,839
The wind's going crazy in your face.
Your hair's going everywhere...
309
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,799
I've got a hat on.
So here's the thing,
310
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,999
I think my art's shit
because I don't have any trauma.
311
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,079
Right. Er... Relax your shoulders.
Do some shoulder rolls.
312
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:34,079
Get that, get that,
get the shoulder rolls.
313
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,960
HE WHIMPERS
314
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,200
Eee... Oh, ya... Ha!
315
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,400
It's the time.
316
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:50,760
Ha...
317
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:55,799
BLOWS TRUMPET
318
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,319
I think maybe it is my family.
319
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,439
You know, I always felt invisible
around them. Don't pout.
320
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,999
Well, my publisher is not going
to sign any of this off.
321
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,359
Give me a pose that says,
322
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:07,039
"I just built a walk-in wardrobe
for my labradoodle."
323
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:08,559
HE MUMBLES
324
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,560
HE LAUGHS MANIACALLY
325
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,799
I think Jamma stole all
the trauma in the family...
326
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,239
Oh, really? ..and left
none of it for me.
327
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,359
Do you know how unfair that is?
Does that make Jamma my trauma?
328
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:27,199
Does that make Jamma YOUR trauma?
329
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,399
Does that mean we're
trauma-bonded now, Guy?
330
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,240
Oh, my God, uh!
331
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,799
Guy? What's up?
332
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,120
I still look boring.
333
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,999
Holy shit.
334
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,719
I look boring.
335
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:49,040
Yes. That was the main objective.
336
00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:56,079
My Guy?
337
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,200
This is not why I wrote a book, OK?
338
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,040
Well, why did you write a book?
339
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:08,999
Why did I write a book? Yeah.
340
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,039
Because I wanted to create
more nuanced narratives
341
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:13,880
around queer relationship models.
342
00:18:13,881 --> 00:18:17,039
And because I wanted
to be more interesting.
343
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:18,719
Hmm. You are interesting.
344
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,199
No, I'm not. Actually not...
345
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,719
..not next to Jamma.
He's, like, the zany one.
346
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:26,079
I'm the one that decants
cereal into containers.
347
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:27,799
Why would anyone do that?
348
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:28,959
I know.
349
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,280
Yeah, it's fucked up.
350
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,679
Yeah, I know.
351
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:34,999
Cereal already comes in a container.
352
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,600
SARCASTICALLY: Oh, oh, does it?
Oh, wow. Thank you.
353
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,999
OK, um...how about you wear
something zany, then?
354
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,999
We haven't got any time, Isaac.
Where the hell are we going to find
355
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:49,040
an outfit that's not
yours or mine, huh?
356
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:06,239
So edgy, so unpredictable,
so subversive.
357
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:09,199
Genius, thy name is Isaac.
This is it.
358
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,319
Fuck the system!
Fuck the system! Say it.
359
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:13,759
Say it with your chest.
Fuck the system!
360
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:17,359
Yeah, go on, fuck off, system.
You getting this? Whoo!
361
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:20,039
Fuck decanting cereal
into containers.
362
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,040
Fuck it all! Fuck it all
and eat it. Yes!
363
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:29,559
Ooh! I'm craving a boiled sweet.
364
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,279
Wow.
365
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:34,159
I'm feeling a sudden urge
to open an ISA account.
366
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:37,479
Yes. It's working. Why have I never
thought of a pension before?
367
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,839
Yes. I mean, starting at 25 versus
35 could double my savings
368
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,079
due to compound interest.
How do I know that?!
369
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,799
You know, you're sucking
the life out of me!
370
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,119
Perfect.
371
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,799
Wait.
372
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:51,519
What if this doesn't work out?
373
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,999
Well, I have a very
flexible returns policy.
374
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:57,479
Which is? Two working days or...
375
00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,160
..the next blood moon.
376
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,999
When's the next blood moon?
377
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,559
Two working days,
subject to availability.
378
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:07,839
My mood may change without notice.
379
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,160
Terms and conditions apply.
ATOL protected.
380
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,799
Sounds good.
381
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,039
Thank you. Ah!
HE GASPS
382
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,680
I have such a firm handshake!
Oh, my God!
383
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:22,160
Oh, it's amazing.
BELL RINGS
384
00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:33,639
At first, he wasn't sure
about the pin badge,
385
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:34,919
then that's when I said,
386
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:37,439
"I'm not a personal shopper.
"I'm a personal swapper."
387
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:38,519
Genius, right?
388
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,639
Isaac, you've made
him look like a racist.
389
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,519
No, no, it's Antifa vibes, OK?
It's subversive.
390
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:44,999
Not on Guy it's not.
391
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,879
How is it racist
if I'm the one who styled it?
392
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,239
Because no-one is going
to know that.
393
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:52,839
What if he's a therapist
who's been through things?
394
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,480
What, like an EDL march?
395
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,759
Thanks, Isaac.
396
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:00,519
God, you really stopped me
from looking like a pillock.
397
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,799
All good. Thanks for the lift.
398
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:04,960
All right. See you
at the book launch.
399
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,480
You look like a fascist!
400
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:12,680
Ohhh!
401
00:21:14,171 --> 00:21:19,359
Hiya. It's Guy. Um, can you give me
a call when you get this?
402
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:22,999
I just, um, sent you an email. Um,
maybe don't open the attachments.
403
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,439
Um... You know what?
Can you just come and meet me?
404
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:29,279
I'm going to send you my location,
OK? Thanks. Bye.
405
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,799
Guy? Uh...
406
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:33,679
Jamma? What's happened to you?
407
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:35,079
What happened to you?
408
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,719
It's Isaac. Oh. Yeah.
409
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,079
Well, at least the photos
aren't going to be boring.
410
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,679
Boring is a good thing.
411
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:43,959
What?
412
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:45,519
HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
413
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:48,999
Yeah. Yeah. Boring is, um...
414
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,999
..just another word
for reliable and consistent.
415
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,439
What... Er, you're...
I appreciate you saying that.
416
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:58,279
Decanting cereal is space efficient.
417
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:02,879
Whoa. Yes, it is. Wow. OK.
Yeah, well, it...it is.
418
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:05,559
Yeah. Yeah, it really is, actually.
Yeah.
419
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:09,120
Do you want to, um...
Do you want to get a coffee or...?
420
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,119
No.
421
00:22:13,120 --> 00:22:14,479
No?
422
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,799
No, no. I...
423
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:20,079
I said no...
424
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:22,959
No. What? I'm trying to say...
425
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,599
Y... You're good!
426
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,359
I mean, it hasn't got
to be coffee. We could get...
427
00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:30,440
No, I would love...a credit score!
428
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:35,879
Credit score? Sorry.
What I'm trying to say is...
429
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:39,240
..I need to grow up and respect
your boundaries.
430
00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:45,199
Wow. OK. Guy, those photos...
431
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:46,759
Oh, God. Sorry, I can explain.
432
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:50,199
No, I love them. Very
much your demographic. Oh.
433
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:55,199
Who's this? Um... Uh, sorry.
Uh, this is my publisher.
434
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,359
Hi. Nigel.
435
00:22:57,360 --> 00:22:59,559
Nigel. Same name?
436
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,799
No. No, my name's... Coffee?
437
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:03,759
Oh, my God, definitely.
No, no, don't have coffee with him.
438
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:05,480
Have coffee with m...him.
439
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,159
OK. I'll see you around.
440
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:11,840
Yeah. No. Um...
441
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,079
Have fun with...
442
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:17,760
..Nigel.
443
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,639
I need to get health insurance.
444
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:29,519
# Are you dying for a change-up?
445
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:33,199
# Are you looking for me?
446
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:37,159
# Are you frightened
of the lightning?
447
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:40,880
# Do you want to stay the same? #
448
00:23:40,930 --> 00:23:45,480
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